Originally posted by: -Nidoo-
Great write-up Zoya 👏 I wonder how you come up with something special every single day 😳 Although I agree with you on the fact that Raman is heart-broken, I have a few more things to add here.
Yes, his heart belonged to her. And it broke into a million pieces when she left him, or rather as he knew it, when she died. But heart-break was just a part in the overall scheme of things. He has experienced heart-break before. He loved Shagun, the depth might not be the same, but the superficial texture of his feelings was, and when she left him for what she assumed to be a better man for her, he was heart-broken.
Then what defines his relationship with Ishita? What is different? Why is he affected so deeply by her even today, even after blaming her for his daughter's death? And more importantly, why does he still love her so madly?
I believe that's because, she did not have just his heart. She had his soul. Your heart breaks, you can tape it up so that it starts beating again and move on, hoping for the stitches to dissolve. But what do you do when your soul leaves your body bare? When it leaves you just flesh and skin to survive, when the heart beats but only to pump blood into your other organs, and the mind thinks but only to plan the next day of survival?
That's not a heart brweak. That's a soul shattering into tiny little crumbs, that no matter how much you try to pick up, some would again fall out.
His broken record is indeed stuck on 'why did you leave me' because hey, deja vu! But why does he still love her, is because he has suddenly found that his inner being is still alive, and even though it is outside of his body, it is still the same. It is still his soul.
And when he thinks and believes that that very spirit never wants to come back to him, wants to go to a far-away land leaving his bare bones again, he can't help but be vulnerable. He couldn't do anything last time because her suicide news was a shocker, but this time, she's right in front of him, claiming to be a part of someone else's life, someone else's body (as he thinks and knows). This just means picking up the remaining crumbs of his soul, putting them in a grinder, and crushing it at the highest level. And when he's in so much pain already, and his soul is flying to a distant place, all he can think of is the hurt he has suffered, and how he can suffer more, because surely, if he's just flesh and blood, might as well inflict more injuries to remember her for as long as he survives.
So yeah, I think, it is much much bigger than a heart-break 😳 He has to exist in this world, without her presence inside of him, but aware that she's present somewhere else. There couldn't be a harder punishment than this thought.
Cricket
