Any woman who spends time with her children 24/7 is a 'bai' - Page 12

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

Ok I have to say a few things

Kajol never said that woman who spends time with her children 24/7 is a bai. That is a gross misrepresentation.

What Kajol said is that kids often expect their moms to wait on them all day like a 'bai'. Perhaps her verbiage is incorrect but her point is true. Young children tend to be very self centered. Their minds are still learning concepts like fairness and balanced expectations. As a result they tend to demand a lot from parents. There is a large transitionary period from demanding attention all the time to being reasonable about it. Many kids even show jealousy if their parents show affection to cousins and friends. Parents often have to put their foot down and teach children that they don't get what they want all the time. Parents who give into children's whims prevent them from growing up to be reasonable and self sufficient people.

A third thing to consider is that demands of a mom are different from that of a dad. Society conditions kids to badger their moms for food, pampering, time and affection. But to badger dads for material goods. People are always concerned if a working mom gets quality time with her kids, but rarely are concerned if working dads get quality time with their kids. Moms are constantly asked how they balance work and family, dads rarely are. The fact is both parents have equal responsibility to balance work and family, both parents have equal responsibility to spend quality time with kids.

Finally the bitter truth is that any human being who dedicates all their time to another human being(s) is a servant. People are unique individuals and deserve personal space and downtime. Everyone should be able to take a break from work and family to do things they love and want. Everyone should feel entitled to a few hours of me time on a regular basis. Revolving your entire world around your boss/coworkers or spouse/kids is just plain wrong from a human condition stand point. Anyone who does so has voluntarily/involuntarily made themselves a servile being.

Society constantly lauds women who sacrifice everything for their family. They hold them on pedestals. They trash people for questioning their judgment. They question people who ask women to be more. But if you really think deeply about it - by lauding perpetual self sacrifice society is telling women that its great to be a house elf - indentured to their family for life and be ecstatic about it.

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

Ok I have to say a few things

Kajol never said that woman who spends time with her children 24/7 is a bai. That is a gross misrepresentation.

What Kajol said is that kids often expect their moms to wait on them all day like a 'bai'. Perhaps her verbiage is incorrect but her point is true. Young children tend to be very self centered. Their minds are still learning concepts like fairness and balanced expectations. As a result they tend to demand a lot from parents. There is a large transitionary period from demanding attention all the time to being reasonable about it. Many kids even show jealousy if their parents show affection to cousins and friends. Parents often have to put their foot down and teach children that they don't get what they want all the time. Parents who give into children's whims prevent them from growing up to be reasonable and self sufficient people.

A third thing to consider is that demands of a mom are different from that of a dad. Society conditions kids to badger their moms for food, pampering, time and affection. But to badger dads for material goods. People are always concerned if a working mom gets quality time with her kids, but rarely are concerned if working dads get quality time with their kids. Moms are constantly asked how they balance work and family, dads rarely are. The fact is both parents have equal responsibility to balance work and family, both parents have equal responsibility to spend quality time with kids.

Finally the bitter truth is that any human being who dedicates all their time to another human being(s) is a servant. People are unique individuals and deserve personal space and downtime. Everyone should be able to take a break from work and family to do things they love and want. Everyone should feel entitled to a few hours of me time on a regular basis. Revolving your entire world around your boss/coworkers or spouse/kids is just plain wrong from a human condition stand point. Anyone who does so has voluntarily/involuntarily made themselves a servile being.

Society constantly lauds women who sacrifice everything for their family. They hold them on pedestals. They trash people for questioning their judgment. They question people who ask women to be more. But if you really think deeply about it - by lauding perpetual self sacrifice society is telling women that its great to be a house elf - indentured to their family for life and be ecstatic about it.

Originally posted by: BollyFanLuver

<font color="#009999">You mean the age where kids have no clue about equality,you know, the fact that women & men are beings from the same race and therefore have the same rights? Because that is what feminism is.</font>

<font color="#009999">And I would think, this is a matter every human being knows instinctively... until society teaches you otherwise. Kids do not question those things until they affect them anyway.</font>

<font color="#009999">& if this is the age where kids want both their parents attention equally, isnt that how it should be really. After all, it did take two to make them, no?</font>