Hi friends. I am back with a SwaSan story, which I envisage in 3 parts. Part 1 is below, 2 and 3 to follow as soon as possible (See below for updates). The timeline is after Ragini's truth is out and SwaSan are not currently living together, for reason/ circumstances for which will be explained in due course in the story. Swara is in Mumbai living with her uncle and both of them are clearly trying to cope without each other. I hope you all enjoy this, please do let me know. I know there will be many unanswered questions, but the later parts will hopefully address them. Nevertheless I hope I convey what I felt whilst writing with this instalment. Also, I have posted a video below and some of you at least may want to listen to that whilst visualising the scene I am trying to convey! I am currently obsessed with this song and I have been seeing SwaSan in it for days so couldn't resist using it. The more popular version is of course the male Atif Aslam one, but I have used a really nice (I think anyway) female one, which is more guitar based than keyboard like many others.
PS: Burning the midnight oil again so please forgive errors, I will be editing later and tomorrow.
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Part 2 is now up on Page 5 guys. It is rather long! Also, I realised whilst writing that it is very angst ridden but to be honest, the present track inspires that in me so hope you will get what I am trying to convey. My intention in Part 2 was to show what happened to SwaSan to bring them to their current separation described in Part 1. Part 3 will deal with their conversation and address where they go from herein, but I couldn't do that without bringing readers up to speed as to what went on before! Must sleep now as have a mega early start on a brand new job tomorrow! Will try to update as soon as time permits and hopefully it won't be too long a wait. As ever, please let me have any feedback.
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Part 3 is now finally complete and posted on page 10!
I hope it's ok- it is very long but I wanted to do justice to both Swara and Sanskaar. A little note- I have added on perhaps a few years to Sanskaar's age to what he is meant to be on the show- author's licence as I don't think 25ish sounds realistic, given how much he has done! Also, I happily admit that this climax is quite film-like. I have very deliberately made it so, as I felt it fitting given their journey, especially Sanskaar's and I wanted to give my Sanskaar this form of avowal. I still have to edit so please bear with errors! Feedback appreciated as usual!
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OVERPOWERED BY LOVE
PART 1: Mumbai
Swara walked into the recording studio and settled down in the seat the producer's assistant who had whisked her there indicated to her. She had a death grip on her beloved guitar; it had after all been her sole companion for the past interminable eight months- the only limited solace she had found since...
Swara abruptly pulled herself up from this train of thought as she knew that if she dared to go any further on that walk down memory lane, she would never get through this audition. As it was, something like this, which would have thrown the old Swara into a frenzy of excitement and fired up all her creative juices to outperform everyone and anyone, was today an effort of will. She had had to struggle to dredge up the motivation to really follow through with this, despite the unusual slight spark of excitement that had flared up within her when she had the call from the ad company informing her that she was shortlisted for an audition, which if she passed, meant she would be the voice for their campaign, being launched to promote a new company nationwide. Her music after all, had been her crutch since that unforgettable day when she had walked out of Maheshwari Mansion and out of his life. Again, she sharply reminded herself not to think about him as therein lay severe danger. There lurked the threat of coming undone at a point where she could finally at least pretend she would be able to move on by finding something that may, just maybe, keep her busy enough to be able to go on existing without hating each second of it as she currently did. Swara determinedly pursed her lips and squared her shoulders and let the same bustling assistant adjust the headphones around her and the mike in front of her, and give her a few other instructions.
She was told that the full recording team was on the other side of a window that faced her, she couldn't see through it but was told that the head producer and his team could see her. Swara had seen this sort of set up in movies sometimes but was slightly unnerved, as she had not expected it, thinking she would simply sing before a few people sat in front of her. However, the assistant assured her that it was simply so that the team could record her without distracting her and she would shortly meet the producer and advertising creative head, once they had heard her audition. Somewhat reassured at this, Swara adjusted her guitar and tried to focus on the song she was going to sing.
Swara was therefore blissfully unaware that on the very other side of the said window, which housed the sound recording and production room, at the same moment, a tall man with an imposing air around him, was striding in, accompanied by his assistant. He seemed oblivious to the deferential greetings being bestowed upon him by the producer and others crucial to the campaign.
Sanskaar Maheshwari, as ever, only had eyes for the almost ethereal looking, beautiful woman, now sitting on the recording swivel stool, and unknowingly staring straight at him. His heart smote at the sight of her and he momentarily had to close his eyes at the pain of seeing her like this- on the other side of a barrier he could pierce but she could not. "Some things never change", he thought, almost bitterly, but then composed himself as he settled into the seat allocated for him as per his request.
The assistant in the room with Swara indicated to her from the side that she should begin and Swara, focusing now on finding that place within her which allowed the music to take over, strummed her graceful fingers over the guitar chords and let the words pour out of her in synchrony with the movements of her hands.
"Hmm.. hmm... hmmm hmm hmmm hmmm
Dehleez pe mere dil ki; Jo rakhe hain tune kadam
Tere naam pe meri zindagi; Likh di mere humdum
Haan seekha maine jeena jeena kaise jeena; Haan seekha maine jeena mere humdum
Na seekha kabhi jeena jeena kaise jeena; Na seekha jeena tere bina humdum"
By this point, the slightly bored looking producer who had sat slightly slouched in his seat with a fairly condescending expression, was sitting up, his eyes alert and interested. Similarly, there was slight flurry around Sanskaar from the gaggle surrounding them, adjusting controls on the complex recording equipment around them.
Sanskaar's eyes were ablaze with a strange light and he totally ignored everyone around him. He was enthralled and after so long, the sound of that beloved voice was a literal paean for him. Swara was now absorbed in her song, her eyes seemed to have found distant memories and were infusing her voice with a soul that sounded as if it could call the Gods down from the Heavens. Whilst she sang solo, it almost felt as if she was mentally singing in tune with someone else.
"Dehleez pe merey dil ki; Jo rakhe hain tune kadam
Tere naam pe meri zindagi; Likh di mere humdum
Haan sikha maine jeena jeena kaise jeena; Haan sikha maine jeena, mere humdum
Na sikha kabhi jeena jeena kaise jeena; Na sikha jeena tere bina humdum
Hmm.. hmm... hmmm hmm hmmm hmmm"
Swara's eyes were now closed; Sanskaar's were bright with unshed tears. He felt as if he was there with her on the other side and even though he knew he couldn't sing, his spirit was in total harmony with the music she was making.
"Sacchi si hain yeh taareefein; Dil se jo maine kari hain...
Sacchi si hain yeh taareefein; Dil se jo maine kari hain...
Jo tu mila to saji hain; Duniya meri humdum
O aasma mila zameen ko meri; Aadhe aadhe poore hain hum
Tere naam pe meri zindagi; Likh di mere humdum
Haan seekha maine jeena jeena, kaise jeena; Haan seekha maine jeena, mere humdum
Na seekha kabhi jeena jeena kaise jeena; Na seekha jeena tere bina humdum
Hmmm... hmmm."
[YOUTUBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNvQeAogauM[/YOUTUBE]
As the last strains of the guitar trailed away, there was pin drop silence in both rooms. Staying lost for a second, Swara slowly opened her eyes, as if reluctant to leave the haven she had escaped into for a short while. On the other side, the silence was broken by the sound of claps and Sanskaar also gradually registered the excitement around him, with the producer exclaiming that this voice was perfect for records and they had surely found the voice for their campaign.
"Mr Maheshwari- jabh apne itne saare candidates mein se zidd ki thi ke iss ladki ko audition mein shaamil karna hi hoga, toh mujhe bahut saare doubts the, aur mujhe atcha bhi naha laga tha. Lekin, recording studio ke liye inki awaaz kamaal ki hai, especially jis taraka campaign Dreams Media ne tayyar kiya hai".
All he got was a fairly flinty smile from Sanskaar. This slightly made the man stop gushing, although he should have by now become used to this autocratic and bad tempered man's cold behavior, he thought with a touch of irritation. He decided he would be better communicating with Mr Maheshwari's assistant, a pleasant fellow named Kunal who was shooting fairly worried glances at his boss.
The producer continued to thus address him as it seemed Mr Maheshwari was going to bore holes through the glass, still staring at the girl on the other side, who now talking to his assistant, having placed her guitar down on the side.
"Haan, toh Kunal, hum iss ladki Swara Bose koh contract ke barrey main samjha denge. Main jaa kar usse abh mil leta hoon. Jaise ke Mr Maheshwari ne kaha tha, usse unke barein mein kuch nahi kahenge. Aap abh jaane ke liye ready ho yaa mere saath aur kuch kaam hai?"
At this, Sanskaar suddently turned to him, fixing him with that frigid stare.
"Actually, Mr Sharma, I have changed my mind. Aap apne assistant ko bahar bulalijiye. Mujhe Swara Bose se kuch baat karni hai".
Both Kunal and the producer looked at him with deep surprise. The producer couldn't resist asking,
"Lekin, aapne toh strict instructions di thi ke aap yahan sirf audition dekhenge aur aap kisi bhi candidate se nahi milenge aur hame mana bhi kiya tha ke Dharma & Co. kiski hai yaa iss company ki zaada details candidates ko nahi batayi jayengi?"
Sanskaar was now frowning and Kunal was trying to unobrotusively gesture Mr Sharma to stop.
"Mr Sharma, main apne decision kabhi bhi badal sakta hoon. Ye company meri hai, yeh ad campaign bhi mera hai, aur abh uss room main janeka faisla mera hain. Aap please jaisa kahagaya hai aisa kariye. Aap sirf apne assistant ko kahiye ke woh Swara se kahe ke woh please uss room main ruke, lekin isse zyaada kuch nahi."
Stiffening slightly at his tone, Mr Sharma acquiesced and spoke to his assistant, connected to him through headphones the man had been wearing. He could see him look surprised too as this was the total opposite of the earlier instructions that had been given, but he did as he was told. Swara looked slightly taken aback too but not overly concerned, assuming that there was a delay with the producer gracing her with his presence.
Sanskaar impatiently stood whilst all this was happening. He could not afford to over analyse what had come over him. He knew he was failing a major test he had set himself. He had fully come with the intention of seeing her and listening to her audition and then leaving. Under no circumstances could he afford to talk to her and yet, he was going to commit this very folly. "Why change now?", a voice inside him whispered. "You were ever the fool when it came to her. Did you think a paltry eight months would have endowed you with some form of immunity against her?" He was angry but helpless.
A month ago, when the ad company hired for a product launch for his new brainchild, named Dharma & Co., had insisted he listen to various audition tapes for the recording artist they wanted to hire, he had seen it as a minor inconvenience. It was not like he did not have enough to do. He had tried to fill every waking hour with work- the only panacea he could find to stop him going crazy with longing and grief over her. She had left and he knew he had something to do with that too, leaving a gaping hole where his heart had once been. He had worked like a man possessed, hoping this would staunch the pain, but of course nothing could do that. His staff were very excited about the new product launch and they had decided that the voice for the fancy ad campaign should be found by launching a find involving unknown singers, giving the Company positive publicity and creating hype too. Every time he thought of music, thoughts about her, that he tried to firmly keep at bay without success, broke to the fore, so he hadn't particularly wanted to listen to audition tapes, but the ad agent insisted and he gave in. Hearing her unforgettable voice had given him such a shock- he had almost thought he was dreaming at first but the details in print before him with the tape, that he had before not even bothered to look at, were undeniable.
"Swara Bose"- the name itself smote him as she was of course using her maiden name and not Swara Maheshwari. Despite everything, this understandable gesture on her part, still filled him with equal parts of fury and hurt. He had suddenly come alive in that meeting and told them that this Swara Bose must be offered an audition, the rest of the short list was up to them. This had sparked a furious debate, especially by the disgruntled music producer, who felt as if this was an insult to his integrity, a bending of the rules for some unknown reason, as how could a decision be made without listening to each of few already narrowed down entries now before the main board for the campaign.
Like the finer nuances of those ethics mattered when it came to ensuring her benefit, recalled Sanskaar with a grim smile. If she had known what he was saying and doing, he would have faced her inevitable wrath and one of her often tedious lectures on morality, not wrong for the principles they espoused, but entirely unrealistic nevertheless in dealing with the "real" world. He had quelled the arguments with customary firmness. She would make the audition shortlist, and if she was not good enough, she did not have to be appointed. He knew she would be, he just had to get her before them. He had then decided he would listen to her audition, but had fiercely resolved not to come face to face with her, as he had determined that fateful day eight months ago, that he would wait for her to come to him, if and when she wanted to.
"But did you not already secretly know that you would not be able to leave like that, without talking to her, without sharing the same air with her again, breathing in her unique scent around you and staring into those beautiful eyes once more...?" an insidious voice inside him whispered.
As Rumi once said, "Reason is powerless in the expression of love", so was it with Sanskaar when it came to his love, his life, his wife. He squared his shoulders and strode out to face the woman who had long since become the reason for his very existence.
To be continued...
CREDIT AND MANY THANKS TO @MANASIE23 FOR THE IMAGES AND TO @PICCOLA FOR SUGGESTING IMAGES BE USED WITH THE STORY!
Bade Achche Lagte Hain Naya Season
