You're In My Veins - IshRa Two-Shot - Part 2 - Page 9 - Page 7

Author's Note:

I have no idea what to say here because frankly, the scene and episode that inspired me to write this TS, my most explicit work yet has all but become a distant memory in light of the recent events and the stunts we are seeing by the great RKB.

One of my absolute favorite characters has been butchered, massacred and slaughtered all for what I cannot still understand nor wrap my head around.

Raman was the character who became my first muse among IshRa, because we had more idea of who he is and where he comes from when Ishita was a rather closed book. She was not as forthcoming about her turbulent past nor as easily allowing others to see how she is bogged down by it. She carried the weight of the world on her shoulders but never let it be seen, he carried his heart on his sleeve and you could know how he bleeds and how he loves beyond logic, reason or explanation, beyond bounds and together they are amazing.

However, I don't know if I would be able to see them again in the same light ever.

This show has made me angry over the insensitivity it has recently projected all to chase some numbers but I am indebted to it for it inspired me to write again and let me realize how much I love it. My love of writing came back and in a way of speaking, with a vengeance after a long writer's block thanks to Ishita and Raman.

But this might be my last piece of fiction on this forum because as of now I am not sure about the fate of the show and if I can and will stay on with it... I am struggling to hold on and wishing to let go in equal parts, do not know what is about to happen but for now...

This is it folks.

Thank you for all your love and encouragement.

I do hope, with all my heart, I can write IshRa again but cannot promise it.

Until then, I bid you an Au Revoir.

Chapter 2 - Everything Is Dark, But You Catch A Glimpse Of Sunlight

"When in love, the sight of the beloved has a completeness which no words and no embrace can match: a completeness which only the act of making love can temporarily accommodate"
John Berger, Ways of Seeing

"There was no world, no land, no god or heaven or earth outside of their two bodies naked and trembling in the act of love."
Roman Payne

They stand under the hot shower, closer than they have been in days now. He finds longing written in her eyes, for him, and he cradles her face in his hands leaning into her as his lips capture hers.

She is still initially, a little unresponsive as a part of her chides her, asking her how can she feel anything else apart from misery after the loss of her child, how can she give into urges and temptations, what kind of a mother, a woman does that make her.

Sensing her unresponsiveness, he draws away and their eyes meet. When she looks at him, the longing, the loneliness, the pain writ all over him, she cannot help but reach out to him. Her hand cups his face as she captures his lips. The woman in her who loves her husband letting her know it is all right, it is perfectly fine if she is unable to quell the hunger she feels for him, fight the trance she finds herself in; she loves this man beyond reason and doubt, and wanting him is a part of that.

They have lost what was a part of them, but they still have each other and they cannot lose that. After what Raman said tonight, asking her to leave him, the way he feels, its important, so very important for him to know how much she loves him .With the thought in mind, she starts responding, paying heed to her urges, her wants and desires.

They start out softly, slowly, when she finally participates as their arms go around each other, his around her waist and hers around his neck eliminating the distance between them.

She whimpers softly when he nips her bottom lip with his teeth and soothes the sting with his tongue instantly. Her fingers rake in his hair, nails scratching his scalp slightly and a moan escapes his mouth at the act. She presses more of herself against him and feels the evidence of his desire poking her and she sighs softly as the fingers of his left hand dig into the small of her back even as his left cups her bottom giving it a gentle squeeze.

Their tongues twine with each other, her hands roam over his back pulling him even closer, nails digging into his skin as they do so and he holds her in a grip so firm, her skin is imprinted with the shape of his hands.

Breathless, they part finally, gasping for air in the shower and as they find themselves looking at each other, it strikes them, how much they need each other, how they missed each other despite being together all this time.

It has been a week, a week now since they shared anything more than a hug or brief casual touches but it feels like another life in this moment. They last kissed, made love the night before her accident, basking in the joy of expecting their child, glowing, practically radiating from the happiness of the prospect of experiencing parenthood once again.

They had retired to their room that night after dinner, once the family decided to go for the trip that changed everything. They had been so happy that night, so very happy.

She had leaned into kiss him; to thank him for making her feel like the happiest, luckiest woman alive and he had kissed her back, with more enthusiasm than she had anticipated. A simple thank you kiss had turned heated, as he had teased her, in a husky voice a little above a whisper, with eyes that smoldered, that such a huge joy deserves a proper celebration and not something so brief and casual. She had declared her wholehearted agreement by capturing his mouth with the same level of ardor with which he had kissed her earlier and their celebrations had begun.

They had laughed and loved that night, unaware that their joy would turn to ashes in their mouth, come the next day.

She blinks back tears that threaten to spill from her eyes as she recalls that night and what happened after. She cannot breakdown, not after witnessing her husband feeling so guilty and wretched not an hour ago.

He notices the change in her, instantly but before he can question her, he sees her reaching behind him and lifting his bottle of shampoo. Soon, she has a dollop in the palm of her hand as she places the bottle back in its place and reaches for his hair with the hand in which she holds the shampoo.

"Close your eyes Raman."

"Ishita..."

"Stop speaking and close your eyes, I am washing your hair Raman, amma says you should wash your hair immediately if it gets wet in the rain, it may be natural but it can harm your hair."

He closes his eyes, to avoid getting shampoo into them as she works up lather in his hair, her fingers gently massaging his scalp.

"You are..."

"Shh, quiet Raman... else some of the shampoo may go in your mouth."

He lets out a breath but does as told, he really does not want to gulp down shampooed water and because he can feel her need to compose herself. Perhaps it was too much for her, too soon, this kiss, their intimacy again he thinks to himself. Maybe he should not have done that, could he have read her wrong he wonders to himself...

He wants to ask her that question, he is afraid to know the answer.

Therefore, he does not speak up and lets her continue washing his hair. The movement of her fingers in his hair, the way she massages his scalp, makes him sigh, her touch soothing and relaxing him.

Watching him get visibly relaxed, she has a small smile on her face. Her husband has been a wreck since the day of the accident; it has been a week since she has seen him stressing himself out. When he sighs again, under the effect of her ministrations, it becomes obvious to her; how wrung up he is.

She repeats the process of shampooing his hair once again on his hair effectively cleaning it to her satisfaction, she thinks conditioning can wait a little and speaks up.

"Turn around."

Her soft voice directs him and he follows.

Her thumbs massage the back of his neck, his shoulders and he feels lighter than he has in days. She massages his back all the way from the nape of his neck to his tailbone, her thumbs particularly working on his spine and with the release of stress knots around them; he thinks he might ask her never to stop doing this. It feels so good, so good to feel her hands on him, to feel this relaxed but mostly to live in this moment.

He lets out a soft groan when she works on a particularly sore spot that has been bothering him so much. A smile forms on his lips as he realizes he never even had to mention it to her, how this spot has been bothering him. Just like everything else in his life, she managed to discover the root of his problem without a word from him and got working on it, making him feel better even without him needing to ask it of her.

However, in the next instant, he cannot help but feel terrible about how he is unable to reciprocate the gesture, help her rid of the pain that she is in, even though she is doing her best to hide it from him and he knows why. He vows to make her pain go away, if it is the last thing he does and turns around to look at her.

The sudden movement made by him startles her and she stops, wide eyed.

"What happened? Did I hurt you accidentally Raman? Was I not doing it right?"

He sees how she is so worried about even a minor discomfort to him that she feels she might have caused him and his heart clenches in his chest and before he even knows what he is doing, his arms grab hold of her shoulders and he hugs her to his chest.

"Raman..."

She calls out to him twice before he responds to her at last. Pulling back from the hug, but not releasing her from his arms, he answers her as he looks into her eyes.

"I am fine, in fact so good thanks to you."

A small smile creeps up on her face as he kisses her forehead.

"You don't need to thank me for helping you, you know that."

Smiling back at her, he softly replies.

"I do, and so I would instead just show my gratitude."

Her eyes convey her questions even before she can speak up and he switches their position, standing behind her now as he nudges her forward so that she stands right underneath the showerhead.

She sees him reach for her shampoo and before she can utter a word of protest or otherwise, he speaks up.

"I am gonna wash your hair too now, and I am not taking no for an answer."

She laughs softly as she turns around, her back now to him, her head thrown back as she simply replies to him.

"I wasn't stopping you; just reminding you my hair is longer, much more so than yours so remember to take the adequate amount of shampoo."

"As if I wouldn't have known that if you hadn't thought of it madam, I am not a novice in washing women's hair."

Her spine stiffens immediately and it strikes him how she could have interpreted his words and he bites his tongue, cursing himself.

Shaking his head, he thinks on his feet and speaks up casually,

"Need I remind you I raised Ruhi by myself before we married? And so, I know how much shampoo you women need."

She releases a breath, her back losing the ramrod straightness it acquired as she allows herself to realize he only meant Ruhi. Just the notion of Raman sharing this intimacy with someone else was nauseating to her, the fact that her husband was married earlier and crazy about another woman sometimes gnaws her heart but his answer makes her feel better. She does not know how in love was Shagun with him, if ever, and thinks to herself, she does not wish to find out. Sometimes things are better left untouched.

What matters is he is hers, now and forever and the thought of him, ordered around by Ruhi to wash her hair properly is endearing and so sweet. She loves everything about him, but she first warmed up to the father in him, who touched her heart long before she fell in love with her husband. The mention of Ruhi makes her feel better as she imagines him fumbling when washing her hair and Ruhi fussing about the bubbles and the shampoo, the way she always does.

Their daughter is quite a diva when it comes to grooming and she realizes how out of depth the experience must have been for Raman that makes her laugh.

He hears tinkling laughter echoing in the shower before she speaks up, that has him smile to himself.

"Ruhi is a little girl and not a woman yet Raman, and need I remind you her hair is shorter than mine and that she was mostly bathed by mummyji or Simi."

"She fusses like a woman, even if she is just a girl especially when it comes to her hair, and I may not have been around much but I did my duties whenever I was around and yes, that includes washing my daughter's hair. In fact don't you remember once you even lent us your anti-lice shampoo?"

"How can I forget?"

Her tone becomes nostalgic as she remembers the day and cannot help but wonder, who would have thought it then, the little girl she adored would be her daughter someday and the man who is her father, the man she despised, would be her husband, the love of her life.

He speaks up for them as his hands softly wash the length of her hair,

"Who would have thought back then we would be here right?"

"Mmm..."

She murmurs softly, her eyes closed as she sighs when his hands massage her scalp.

"Feels good?"

"It feels amazing."

He recalls her movements on his scalp, his back and with as much pressure as she can withstand, reciprocates the gesture, alternating with soft touches on her hair and a little firmer on her back.

He is about to reach for the bottle of shampoo again, as the earlier batch washes away when she leans into him, her back to his chest as her body loosens and he stops with the massage. His hands no longer on her, his attention diverted to the way the water travels in small rivulets over her skin.

He kisses the shell of her ear; as his hands gently move over her, his fingers travelling from her shoulders and gently down to her hands. He watches her to observe, if she is okay now, if it makes her feel uncomfortable, if she wants to bail...he knows he has to stop now. But all he sees is how she looks relaxed, her eyes close and her face lit up with a small smile that plays on her lips and so his lips leave soft kisses along the graceful arc of her neck.

Her breathing gets shallow as he moves aside her hair and his lips drop kisses along her shoulder reaching the nape of her neck. Dipping lower, his lips drop kisses along her spine as she finds purchase on the wall in front of her, his lips now on the small of her back as he gets down on his knees. With a small kiss, he teases her, as his hands rest on her hips as he gently nips the soft skin there.

Nuzzling her bottom, he glides his fingers along the back of her knees and drops kisses on the back of her thighs, biting it once to make her hiss.

"Raman..."

She utters his name, the sound between a moan and a plea, all at once.

With a kiss to the small of her back, he turns her around to face him, while still on his knees.

She reaches for his shoulders, her nails digging into his skin, as she tries to pull him up when he kisses her on her left hip, before he speaks up.

"I am not done here yet."

With that, his lips start dropping little kisses along her thigh, moving towards the soft skin of her inner thighs. His mouth travels over her sensitive skin, as his hands softly keep caressing, the back of her thighs and knees, her derriere and the small of her back. One of his hands travels to her front, to fondle her, to tease her the way he knows she likes as he alternates between stroking and pinching her bosoms.

He kisses her everywhere but where she wants him, the rasp of his stubble on her skin adding to the delicious sensations she feels. She pleads out to him calling his name but to no effect until she cannot take it anymore and holds his head with her hands, making him stop and look up at her.

"Raman..."

She whispers to him, her voice gravelly as she merely says his name.

With a small smile, he obliges and places a feather-light kiss on her curls.

She sighs at the contact, but in the next instant, throws back her head as he opens his mouth; his tongue darting out to lick her in a single, tender stroke.

She breathes erratically as his fingers tease her, traces circles along her hip bones, as his tongue simultaneously does things to her wicked and wonderful at once, making her mewl and her hands in his hair, pull him closer and guide him for his next move all at the same time.

Gently, he enters a digit into her and she lets out a moan, her jaw dropping soundlessly once she feels him all the way in.

His free arm holds her hip firmly to keep her steady even as she feels her knees beginning to give out on her, his forehead brushing against the soft skin around her navel as his mouth and fingers continue to pleasure her.

Her hands keep moving from his head to his shoulders unable to stay steady as she loses herself in the rapture of the moment, moaning and sighing wordlessly conveying her enjoyment to him. He nuzzles her gently pressing his tongue to the engorged nub he finds, making her whimper. He licks the spot, a few more times alternating the pressure of his tongue with each turn and finally hears her cry out loudly, throwing her head back, screaming out his name.

Her legs buckle and she almost loses her balance, when he grabs hold of one of her shoulders with one of his hands even as with the other he holds her waist.

Her frame trembles, as he gets back on his legs, holding onto her, making sure, she doesn't lose her footing and soon holds her in his arms.

His fingers caress her back, as he hugs her tightly, his lips showering little kisses on her cheeks, her ear, her neck. Breathing harshly, she hangs onto him like a ragdoll, still a little dazed and reeling from the ecstasy of her release.

She draws back from the hug, once she is a little steady on the feet and his arms settle on her waist as she puts hers around his neck.

Leaning into him, she whispers against his lips.

"I love you."

With a smile, he answers her.

"I love you too."

Pouring out all her love and passion into it, she kisses him as she captures her mouth with his. Her hands pull him close, as close as possible and then some more as she tastes herself on him, feels her flavor mingle with the way he tastes on his mouth and tongue, making her moan into the kiss as the heady sensation delights them to no ends.

"I love the way you taste so much, so much."

He mumbles into the kiss against her lips, his voice gravelly and rough, making her speak up too.

"And I love yours...but we taste better, so much better."

With a groan, he agrees with his wife.

He smiles into the kiss, as does she, when her hands softly move over his chest, his stomach and go on a little lower until he is in her hand. She runs a gentle finger along the underside of his staff, while she cups his behind, making him moan into the kiss. His hands move over her back and travel along her waist to reach her front, his thumbs gently moving over her stomach and he suddenly stops. The sudden ceasing of the movements along with him going stiff alerts her to a change in him and she suddenly realizes what happened.

His hands placed on her stomach.

Her hands placed over his, covering them.

Their baby, the one they lost.

The one she would have been carrying now, if it were not for that accident.

They might have talked to it, as they had started doing, as they did, the night before her accident after they made love, when he spooned her from behind and told it how they love it already and cannot wait for it to arrive.

"Raman."

She calls out to him and squeezes his hands tightly with her own.

"Please, please stop blaming yourself. Please stop thinking about it."

"I am trying, I am."

His words, they mean so much to her. Tears roll down her cheek as she allows herself to hope, think, they will get past this, it would happen...slow and steady they would get there.

"Our baby loves you Raman, I know it does and if you keep hurting so much, our baby, wherever he or she is, would hurt too. You are a wonderful father and husband, and it wasn't your fault, whatever happened, you saved us all."

"Except one..."

"Raman..."

He places his forehead on her shoulder briefly, before he looks her in the eye and asks her.

"How can you deal with this?"

Her eyes mist with unshed tears as she softly replies to him,

"I am counting my blessings."

"What could you possibly be counting?"

"We could have lost so much more Raman, so much more than what we did."

"That doesn't make me feel better. It doesn't help."

"Then just look at it, this situation from my perspective."

"And what would I be looking at?"

"We still have everyone else, we have Adi and Ruhi safe and sound, but mostly we have each other."

"Ishita..."

"I wouldn't have survived losing you, I was scared of dying but I was terrified of losing Adi, Ruhi and you...I thought if something had happened to either of you, how could I have lived on?"

"I am not one of your blessings Ishita; you lost the one you had because that bas***d Ashok became a part of your life because of me."

"Stop saying that."

"It won't make it any less of a truth."

"It makes it worse because you don't get it."

"Get what?"

"How much I love you, need you Raman. And every time you undermine yourself or accuse yourself for making me miserable, I feel like...like..."

"Like what?"

"Like you regret having me in your life and that makes me feel awful. Raman, if not for you I would not have been happy, if not for you I would not have felt loved and alive. And every time you make me think you regret being in my life, you regret our marriage, me..."

He captures her lips voraciously with his as his mouth ravages hers brutally.

Slamming her into the wall behind her, as the impact of the movement jerks her backward and her hands reach out, to hold onto him even as she collides with the shower wall. Startled by his sudden actions, a mewling sound escapes her mouth.

With a bite to her lip that he soothes with his tongue, he holds her tight with as his arms banded around her waist and travel to cup her bottom lifting her. Reflexively she wraps her legs around him as he enters her. He kisses her ravenously as his hips propel forward slamming into her with each stroke he makes. She whimpers as her hands band around him while she kisses him back just as ravenously.

She throws her head back as he bites onto her neck, drawing blood, soothing the inflamed spot with his tongue.

His harsh, breathless whisper reaches her ears as he speaks up in a gravelly, rough voice.

"Never, never say that, never say I regret you or us. Never even, think about such a damn thing. I love you, I love you so much it scares me and yet I would not have it any other way. I can never regret you or us, never in my life. Promise me you won't feel like that again, say such a thing again."

With gasping breaths, she speaks up.

"Only if you promise you won't try to get yourself killed again, do you know how scared I was when I got to know you had an accident today, that call terrified me."

He kisses her mouth, repeating himself between kisses as he vows to be careful.

She lets out a moan as her orgasm hits her and goes limp in her husband's arms, even as he is holding her tight, only to let go soon as he staggers and she collides with the wall behind her as he does so.

Gasping, they stay under the shower until they can catch their breath, holding onto each other. Gingerly she unwraps her legs from around him one by one and once, she is steady on her feet, she softly kisses his mouth.

"I love you so much, so much Raman, don't say things like these please, it hurts me so much when you do."

Nodding he promises,

"I won't."

She hugs him, kissing his mouth even as she smiles into the kiss.

"I need nothing more as long as I have you; you are all I want, everything I need Raman."

He smiles as he looks at her and whispers against her lips.

"And you have me, forever and ever."

She hugs him tightly, his arms going around her as he closes his eyes.

Their hearts thankful they still have each other to hold onto; even as their minds whisper conflicting thoughts.

They think they aren't good enough for each other, how could they be, if the one they love is in so much pain, so hurt. They wonder how to lessen the other's pain even as they hug each other even more tightly.

A part of their mind whispers, they need to end things perhaps if it can mean the one they love gets happy, only their hearts whisper, it will not help, nothing could now, ever would.

They are in far too deep, far too along to do it now - let go off each other.

The love they feel is too overwhelming, to encompassing to severe now.

They, they have become a part of each other now and there's no escaping this fact.

Their love courses through their veins, with the very fragment of their being and they, they are now two halves of one, and there is no going back now.

Finished reading finally...

I wasn't getting how to rescue my upset mind from attack after attack YHM is giving! I am broken and bent by their absurdity and partiality! My ISHRA have been nothing to YHM nor we YHMians now! I donno what they are smokin' now a days while penning d script that they are coming with such Great impressive extraordinary never-seen-before story line!!🤔

Anyways coming to update goshh it was HOT and PASSIONATE to a newer level lol by newer level I meant I haven't read bathroom romance before in this forum😆 so it was like a cherry in d cake! I loved the way you have mixed emotion, love-session and conversation all at once was wahh, dint miss the pheels for a second.😳 It was perfect beyond perfection. I have stopped watching d show since cs episode and felt I can no longer relate to this new YHM and imagined something like this to be the closure thanks Aani for giving me this perfect closure!🤗

For me ISHRA doesn't exist after this night...till I can say they do exist which seems a distant dream though!