You're In My Veins
Chapter 1 - Nobody Here's Perfect
"Touch me, touch the palm of your hand to my body as I pass,
Be not afraid of my body."
Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass
"What comfort there is in the skin of someone you love!"
Erich Maria Remarque, The Night in Lisbon
They stumble into the drawing room as she supports him.
He is a little unsteady on his feet even now thanks to the effects of the alcohol even though he is much more aware of his surroundings now.
The night lamp left on in the kitchen paves the way for them to cross the room without stubbing their toes into the furniture or knocking something down on their way. Wet, freezing and still a little shaky - mentally, emotionally and physically - from what transpired between them on the road less than half an hour ago, still weighing heavily on them they walk together, as he keeps an arm around her shoulders. They somehow manage to make it up the staircase, leading to their bedroom and she heaves a sigh of relief as soon as they make it to the room safe without an injury to anyone of them and without waking up anyone from the family.
He sees the relief spread across her features as she sends a thank you to her Muruga for keeping him safe in the accident and later now, when they managed to make it home and to their room without further scenes.
He feels ashamed and at the same time so very lucky in his heart to have her by his side. Ashamed because once again he got her in a situation that embarrassed her and lucky because despite everything she still loves him, still chooses him over and over again, not because she has to, but because she wants to. The early days of their marriage flash across his mind when he had similarly passed out in Ashok' home and she had came to fetch him - out of duty and obligation then, tonight she did it out of love for him. He cannot help but compare the change in their relationship as much as he can't help think how no matter what, he always has had her - his rock, by his side.
He has no idea how would he survive without her now.
She turns around after locking the door to their room and soon is fetching towels to dry them from the closet.
Standing face to face with him, as he remains in the same position she left him in to go lock the door, by the couch, he watches as she runs a small towel over his head drying his hair. The shiver that courses through him is as much thanks to her touch as it is due to the coldness he feels.
"Raman."
She mouths his name watching as his lips quiver a little.
Running her hand over his neck, his face and his hands even as she herself is freezing, she gets worried for him as her eyes widen.
"Oh my god, you are so cold."
Throwing the towel aside, she holds his hand as she walks them to their ensuite bathroom and he follows her silently. She stops at the door of the bathroom and her eyes scan him from top to bottom. Removing her slippers, she addresses him quietly.
"Remove your shoes Raman."
Without a word, he does as asked, taking off his shoes and socks along with them, holding onto her for support with one hand, once done they enter their bathroom after she switches on the lights from the switchboard beside the door.
Still holding him by the hand, she gets them inside the shower cubicle and reaches for the switch to the geyser, turning it on.
Rubbing her arms with her hands, as her teeth chatter, she turns to him.
"I would have made coffee or tea to help Raman, but it would just take time, not to mention it might wake someone up if I go to the kitchen now. So a hot shower would be the best option to get rid of the cold right now."
"I am quite a handful, aren't I?"
He says with a hint of self-deprecation even as he tries to go for humor.
Smiling at him, she cups his face in her hands, looking him in the eye and softly whispers.
"I would be lying if I say no so I will just say this, yes, you are, quite a lot. However, I would not have you any other way. You wouldn't be you otherwise, and I have fallen in love with my Raavan Kumar just the way he is, pain in the neck and all."
Butting her head with his gently, her arms envelope him in a hug so full of love that it overwhelms him as he holds her close to himself.
"No one but you could have loved me despite the mess I am you know that right?"
"We both are a mess Raman, alone we would have been disaster, and so we had to be together, because this is just how it was meant to be. No one else but you could have been the one to love me back too, you know?"
"Well it wasn't for a lack of trying, let me tell you that, trust me...but I just got tired and you wore me down - with your lectures and your social worker attitude."
Affronted, her jaw drops as he laughs at her expressions, as she goes from shocked to angry in a fraction of seconds, and punches him on the shoulder.
"Oh I forgot the violence, the abuse you shower upon me; see even now you hit me."
"That's because you just manage to ruffle my feathers like no one ever has before."
"And I wouldn't have it any other way too." He murmurs against her lips.
"You like it when I beat you up?"
She asks him incredulously.
Furrowing his brows, he laughs softly as he hugs her even closer to himself.
"No silly, are you crazy? Why would I like it? I meant that I love it that we cannot be indifferent to each other anymore - at our best or worst and I would not have it any other way. We started out being indifferent to each other but can't possibly go back to that ever and I can't be happier about it."
She rests her head on his shoulders as she holds onto him and whispers faintly against his shoulder.
"So am I Raman, so am I."
He runs his hand over her back as he speaks up softly,
"I know we have stopped shivering Ishita, but the geyser would blow up if you don't turn on the water now."
Immediately withdrawing from the hug, she is alarmed and reaches for the faucet to turn on the water as she panics and lets out a sigh of relief that soon turns into a little shriek as the hot water hits them.
He hugs her to himself as he envelopes her in his arms, shielding her from the brunt of the scalding water.
"Even drunk I think faster than you."
She laughs a little and hits him on the arm playfully even as she finds herself adjusting to the temperature of the water now. Raising her head from his shoulder, she looks him in the eye and finds him looking at her as if she were the only thing in this world.
The playfulness of their interaction ceases instantly as they find themselves caught up in the moment. When his hand gently brushes aside a lock of her hair sticking to her cheek with the softest of touches, that convey his love, his adoration, the reverence he has for her, her eyes close even as she shivers despite the hot water pouring over them. He tucks the lock of hair behind her ear and slowly, his thumb caresses the shell of her ear as it glides down towards the arch of her neck and softly moves over her collar bone going lower still as it dips into the valley of her cleavage peeking out from the collar of her kurti. The back of his hand brushes against her breast, making heat and desire course through her veins.
His hand travels further over her abdomen and slowly goes around her waist as he pulls her even closer to himself, aligning them and finally rests his hand on the curve of her derriere. She can feel all of him against herself, sense him hardening against her and it makes her mouth go dry and her heart hammer in her chest.
He speaks up a little, so that he maybe overheard over the roaring of the shower though he wonders would she even hear him, seeing that the thundering of his own heartbeat ringing in his ears has all but deafened him to even the turbulence of the shower.
"We need to get out of these clothes too Ishita, to get warmed up properly."
He can feel it somehow, how her heart skips a beat, she stops breathing for a moment as he finishes, reading her like a book. She mutely nods her head, suddenly feeling a little shy; he cannot help but find his blushing wife adorable.
"What's there to be shy about Ishita? It won't be anything the two of us haven't seen; touched before, hell we have even tasted..."
He never gets to finish himself as she puts a hand over his mouth to stop him, her cheeks blooming in a shade of red.
"I know that you shameless man..."
He holds the hand over his mouth, giving it a soft peck that loosens her hold and effortlessly moves it aside.
"What? Is there anything to be shy about between us even now?"
She simply shakes her head at him as she replies from under her breath.
"You are simply impossible, incorrigible."
"And you fell in love with me just the same."
That gets her to look at him with a smile on her face, eyes full of adoration as she acknowledges the truth of his words.
"I did."
"Good, now strip me."
Her eyes widen as she hears his words and with a little stutter, she speaks up.
"W...what did you say?"
"You heard me; I still don't feel good about my sense of balance Ishita so help me get out of my clothes."
She nods her head vigorously as she mumbles a soft yes to him.
Her hands shake slightly as she reaches for his coat and pulls it off him, without looking him in the eye throwing it behind her.
She tries to command her trembling hands to stop fumbling while unbuttoning his shirt, reminding herself that she doesn't need to be shy with Raman, not now...he wasn't wrong, what he said earlier, for god sakes she has made love to him. She has not shied away from kissing and touching him but this makes her nervous!
Get a grip over yourself Ishita, she admonishes herself, even as a part of her brain reminds her, they may have made love numerous times now in the past few weeks, ever since their first night but this is the first time that she is stripping him. Yes, she has seen him, touched him, everywhere when they made love, but never did until now did she strip him. The novelty of this act both makes her nervous somehow as well as she finds to her surprise arouses her. A part of her wonders, how could this be happening now? They are still reeling from the effects of their loss, her baby is no more and she hasn't even mourned her loss yet, there's so much, simply too much inside of her that's being bottled up, so is the arousal she experiencing in this moment, the desire for her husband even right?
How soon it is before a mother can move on? Her baby maybe gone, she may no longer have a life inside her, but, for those brief days she was a mother, even if she hadn't yet held her child, seen it, touched it... because she had loved it, with all her heart and soul...
In this moment all she can think about is - she is seeing her husband, they have touched each other so intimately after days, and she missed it, she missed him, his touches, so very much.
As if the thought was not enough, it occurs to her this is the first time they would be sharing a bath too and her nails suddenly rake the skin around his navel as she pulls out the shirt to remove it with more force than necessary.
He hisses a little at the contact as their eyes meet.
"Easy there Madrasan, you have to strip me of just my clothes, not my skin as well."
"Sorry."
She apologizes to him, even as he holds her hands to steady their shaking.
"Stop thinking too much, relax, don't be scared or nervous, there's no rush Ishita."
She looks at their hands; hers in his and later, in his eyes as his words calm her down. She takes off his shirt a lot less nervous than before, throwing it aside once it is off him.
Wordlessly, she takes a deep breath and her hands reach for his belt, slowly taking it off him. With a little trepidation, but not as much as it was earlier, she reaches for buttons of his pants unbuttoning him and later unzipping him, her fingers moving over his hardening bulge, the contact making him let out a small hiss as his grip on her rear gets firmer making her gulp hard. The pant pools around his feet and he holds onto her shoulders for balance as he takes his feet out of them and kicks them towards the shirt in a corner of the shower chamber.
She leans into him, unable to speak up or move ahead, her forehead resting against his jaw when he senses her nervousness about the final step, causing his heart to melt as he places a feather light kiss on her brow.
Softly running his fingers down her arms, he makes her tremble and her eyes close as he reaches her hands and holds them with his. Holding her hands in his, he brings them towards the waistband of the last piece of clothing on him as he tucks her thumbs inside the waistband of his briefs.
Her eyes open when he takes his hands off hers and looks at her, squarely in the eye.
Her heart thundering in her chest, her ears ringing with its deafening roar she looks at him, gulping down a lump in her throat, as she divests him of the last piece of clothing on his body, making it drop down to his feet, that he soon kicks away towards the corner to join the rest of his clothing.
"Now, it's my turn."
He softly whispers to her as his hands reach for her kurti and he takes it off her effortlessly without a second's hesitation, her hands cooperating with him on their own. Once it is off her, he throws it towards the pile of clothes gathered in the corner, the rest of her clothes join the same soon enough as he takes them off of her.
They stand in the shower quiet, no longer cold or freezing from being in the rain, the distance of a hair's width between them and they find themselves burning up, as the glasses of the chamber get foggy owing to the steam arising from the hot shower.
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Indian Mythology
Chakravarti Samrat Prithviraj Chauhan
Shiv Shakti
7