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Hello guys! Thanks for sticking around till the "almost" end! So this chapter will come out in three parts A,B and C - These will be a part of the original tragic ending.
However, I have a surprise for you all! I have finally decided to pen down an alternate HAPPY ENDING for this - I couldnt ignore so many requests! It will be a separate chapter and will come after the tragic one - so that all those people who are going to be upset, they can smile a little with the alternate end!
Love you all for being so encouraging!
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Chapter 10A: Frozen Forever - Pragya's World (Original Ending)
It felt like my whole world culminated around the Mehra Mansion - I was more involved in this house than I ever was in my own house. My house was always my mom's that way - she was the nourisher there - she took care of daadi when she had the gout pain, she gave papa his morning medicines, she made breakfast for me and Bulbul before going to school - essentially she was the manager of all our homely affairs. We aided her, but never did we decide for her.
Here in this mansion it was different. Once I confirmed that I was to stay with daadi here, she handed me all her responsibilities. I became, what ma was, to our house. I was reluctant - I didn't want to get involved here, after all, I was an outsider wasn't I? But what felt awkward for me wasn't awkward for any of the Mehra's. No sooner did daadi tell Abhi and Aaliya about her wish of me taking over the charge of the household, they came and wished me good luck! No one felt insecure!
I began handling the day-to-day affairs of the Mehra household along with my work. Soon days turned to months and it was almost four months that I had moved in. I had forgotten about the Pragya who also existed amidst all this - what did she want? What did she need? What did she like? Who was she? But it wasn't really a sacrifice for me. None of the Mehra's expected me to forget myself - I did it because of my love for each one of them. I didn't need to remember myself.
I was happy coming from work, freshening up and spending some quality time with daadi, we discussed my day, her day, if she took her medicines, if she had spoken to Indu daasi or Swarni daasi over the phone, how were they, if Bunty and Bubbly (they were Abhi's cousin's children, who lived in Bangalore with their parents) had Skyped her - if daadi wanted to go somewhere, how her puja was going etc. Then I would give her, her evening medicine and go to Aaliya's. We would chat up over a cup of lemon tea. Aaliya was the radiant mother of a five month old Krish - she always had stories of Krish's antics for the day. I would listen to her and we would laugh together, sometimes if Krish was awake, he would join us and entertain us further with his cute gestures. Aaliya would talk about Neil, and feel low sometimes since she missed him - I would comfort her in those days and cheer her up. After being around Aaliya, I missed my Bulbul much less - sometimes Bulbul would complain that I hardly called her! But where did I have the time? Unlike my house, time flew in the Mehra house and stayed there absorbed.
Abhi was extensively touring for his new album launch around this time - he would seldom stay at home. But whenever he was, once he returned from work, I would take his cinnamon coffee for him - he loved it. Normally Robin served him, but he never mastered the art of cinnamon coffee from daadi like I did. His coffee always either had more cinnamon or less of it - that never went well with Abhi. Plus I knew Robin had studied till his eleventh standard. I was encouraging him to complete twelfth. All day the poor boy worked - only in the evening he got time for studies, I never like to disturb him then - so I would take coffee for Abhi - he would sip his coffee and we usually got into these light banters. Abhi and his strange notions and quirky answers could never stop teasing my mind. Sometime he would make me listen to his music scratches - I had to always like it, because if I didn't he would annoy me to all end telling me off for my bad taste in music! It amused me - but I would mostly agree that his music was good (honestly they were, but the moment he added his lyrics to it, the damage went beyond repair!).
During my stay with the Mehra's, I picked up small things about them - daadi liked to keep her wardrobe colour coded, and even at this age, she had a fetish for sandals. Aaliya's nose flared when she lied! Aaliya loved Neil, but loved fighting with him more, it made her feel closer to Neil. And Abhi? He was the weirdest of the lot - to begin with, he had coffee with cinnamon! He wore mismatched socks (to all his fans! Here is a buzzfeed - Abhi always mixes two pair of socks to wear! Always!), he sang songs like "Love, love Happy Love", "Kaali billi cut my way, Yey Yey" etc. but he loved listening to ghazals (there is a secret folder called "Keep Away" in his iPod playlist!), he had a non-satiating love for sweet - his paneer was less paneer and more like sweet curd! And he was scared of ghosts!
***
It all reached toward a climax when Bulbul and Purab came down to Mumbai to visit us. They had finally decided to tie the knot! We all were ecstatic about it. Abhi was happy for his brother cum best friend and me, for my princess. It was decided that the wedding would take place in the Mehra mansion - Abhi wouldn't let anyone else take the responsibility - it was his Purab's wedding after all! After much ado, it was agreed upon by me. Purab didn't have much of a family - he was just like me and Bulbul in that way - he had lost his parents at a tender age - now he had Abhi and the Mehra's for family and his chacha and chachi who raised him. It was during the roka when his chacha, chachi arrived - when a question was raised - by Purab's chachi.
"Bulbul beta, why is the roka happening at Abhi's house, I assumed this ceremony would happen at your sister's house." Asked Purab's chachi.
"Arre chachi, this is not only Abhi's house, this is my di's house too" replied Bulbul cheerfully, only to receive a sombre expression from chachi. She cleared her throat.
"But beta this is Abhi's..acha, is your di married to Abhi?" asked chachi.
"Marriage? Arre no no - my di and Abhi are very good friends. And Abhi's daadi wants her to stay with them" replied Bulbul.
"So, she is this single lady staying with the rockstar without being related to her? I apologize to you for saying this beta, but she is your sister, and you, our bahu. Isn't it a bit off on our reputation to know that our bahu's older sister is living in with the rockstar outside a marriage?" Bulbul was dumbfounded. She was mad at chachi for maligning her di's character - but she was Purab's only relative - she couldn't say anything, and neither could she digest her badmouthing her perfect sister - Pragya di. Di couldn't be wrong.
"Arre Mrs. Khanna, you are taking all this in a wrong note, Pragya is like my grand-daughter Aaliya. And by that relation she stays here" Bulbul found Abhi's daadi intervene.
"Whatever Mrs. Mehra, we understand that, the society won't nah? I think Pragya should move out"
What no one noticed, was that I was around the corner listening to all the conversation with a heavy heart - no doubt daadi and Aaliya treated me like family, but chachi-ji was right, this was about her family reputation and also my Bulbul's happiness.
"Chachi ji, I think you are right. I understand - I will move back to my house, after the function tonight." I spoke with a slight smile on my tight lips. I tried to focus only on chachi-ji's face and not look at Bulbul's shocked expression or daadi's heartbroken face. Saying so, briskly walked to my room, to begin packing - after the ceremony if I waited to pack, I knew I would give the Mehra's enough time to convince me and change my mind - but I didn't want to change my mind - not because chachi-ji's baseless accusation was sensible to my ears, but it definitely popped in my head, another question that lay sleeping inside me, never finding utterance - what was my future? Who was I? What was I doing here?
I was packing my things haphazardly, when Abhi walked into my room. He pulled me away from my bags and held my shoulder tightly.
"You don't need to do this chashmish, I will talk to Purab. He can handle it. In fact, I have already spoken to him - he is currently talking to chachi"
"I probably should do this Abhi. She isn't exactly wrong. Who am I? What am I doing here?"
"What the hell chashmish" said Abhi in agitation and shook me a little. "You are ----" and he stopped there, trying to find the right word. I smiled grimly, he only validated my question. But someone else spoke from behind.
"FAMILY. You are family Pragya!" it was Aaliya. "And I really don't think chachi gets to decide, if you want to stay with your family or alone"
I shook my head, "Aaliya, however confidently you say it out, but truth is, I am no one - at most a friend. And if my staying here is working against my only family, my Bulbul, I will go"
"Oh. So your only family is Bulbul now? And us? Me? Daadi? And more importantly bhai? We are no one?" she almost screamed.
"Aaliya---" but before I could say more, daadi came there. She looked stern, and only looked at Abhi when she spoke.
"Abhi, I have to talk to you. Come to my room now." Then she left. I felt a little hollow at daadi's behaviour. But before I could process what was going on, Abhi glanced at me and Aaliya once, and he left.
Now Aaliya's towering figure was facing me. In my heart of hearts I knew - I was in for a grill now!
***
"So Pragya, you want to leave? Why, because chachi thinks it's inappropriate to stay with us, and because Bulbul is your only family. Right?" she asked coldly. Her coldness stung me, she was never like this with me.
"Aalu, I---"
"Please, don't call me Aalu, I only allow my family to call me that."
"Listen Aaliya -"
"Oh, so you are hell bent to prove you're not family huh?"
"Aree!"
"You listen Pragya! You are family. You know that too. You are daadi's granddaughter, my sister and the truest love of my bhai's life. You know all that! And I understand that sometimes one may need validation! Then ask us, we will give you! Why listen to an outsider and leave us all?"
"Aalu I am not looking for validation here"
"Yes you are! And it's completely justified. You are fulfilling every role of a Mehra bahu, and who are you? A granddaughter, friend and lover?? No you are more Pragya. You are more than daadi's grandchild, you're her bahu, you're more than my sister, you're my bhabi! You just need to be bhai's wife in all sense - you already are, in some sense!"
"I am none of that Aalu. And especially not your bhai's wife - in any sense"
"Listen Pragya, I know you are mad at bhai, because of your past - I agree he was wrong - but also understand he was young! Immature! He has paid the price for that mistake more than you Pragya! How do you think he must have felt, holding you close to him while you were collapsing in depression - knowing all along he started all this? He loves you beyond measure, but he is quiet. Because, he knows it took you ages to forget the past and accept him as a friend - he doesn't want to hurry things and lose you again. Tell him once that you love him and see - he is waiting to be yours now and forever Pragya." Aaliya finished breathlessly.
"Aalu. I don't love your brother." I put across my thoughts plainly. She was stunned. She kept quiet for a few moments, her hawk eyes all the time following me. I was nervous, I shifted on the spot under her gaze.
"Acha?" she asked simply. I looked up uncertainly, and she continued.
"Why does it matter, when he sleeps uncomfortably sitting on the couch watching late night matches? Why do you go and make him lie down and support his head with his favourite pillow? Daadi's granddaughter or my friend shouldn't feel obliged! Why do you keep a backup of all his new music scratches for him, lest he loses his copy? That shouldn't be of any consequence to you! Why is it important for you to add that extra pot of sugar syrup in Abhi's bowl of paneer makhni, simply because he loves it sweet? Why should you put in efforts to make him have a god meal? Why do you stop Robin from stocking up his mini fridge with beer sometimes - why is getting him a detox important for you? Why do you worry if he catches a cold, and why the hell do you make kada for him - then you tell him daadi has sent it? Why Pragya? Why do you feel obliged?" Screamed Aaliya.
I was stunned to silence. Why indeed. Did I? NO. Of course not. He had ditched me once - it is not likely he will again, and hell that's not why I said no to him. It was all in the past - I had no more feelings for him - that's why I sad no. But is that the case now? I found myself asking that question. Has the truth changed? In all these months, have I fallen in love with Abhi again? If yes, then what was keeping me? I trusted him all right. I cared for him, his family loved me, I lived in the same house as him - then why did this thought not occur to me? Maybe because, I am already so majorly a part of his life, that I took all this for granted - I never saw it the way Aaliya did - maybe I did love him, and maybe there was no reason for me to not accept it anymore.
Wasn't I always Abhi's to begin with?
"Accept it Pragya, you have long since forgiven him. You love him too. Take this opportunity to tak this relationship ahead, don't go back to square one! Go talk to bhai Pragya! Tell him you love him - help him n taking this decision - I know he wants you to stay because he loves you - but for your sake he will not say it - out loud." Whispered Aaliya
"Aalu, you are right! I will talk to him. I will talk to him right now!" I said breathlessly. I felt happy and warm in a different way today - I felt like Prags again today - I didn't have a worry in life. I was going to tell Abhi everything today! I found myself running like an excited child, towards his room. I heard Aaliya laugh from behind.
"Yes! FINALLY" said Aaliya in an exasperated voice. "Gosh bhabi, you're such a drama queen!"
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