Silent Whispers
-CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN-
Attributes of the Strong
"So in the
end, Jai called the receptionist back and decided that it wasn't worth his time
or mine to argue, a realization which took way too long to happen if you ask me."
Khushi
laughed. "Well, now you know what I was worth."
Arnav
narrowed his eyes. "I always knew what you were worth. My aim was to make you realize what you were worth."
"Yeah right. I
knew my capabilities since day one."
"On the
contrary birthday girl, I think I had a significant influence on the outcome of
your internship at AR Designs. You can ask your new employers if you have any
doubt."
"Why? So that
they can give me some sort of rigged version of what you think?"
"Of course
not! If you must know, I gave them a glowing recommendation when they called me
for a reference."
"I heard you
did."
Arnav stared
at her impassive face. "And you think I lied?"
She set down
the cup of coffee she was sipping. "I don't
think anything."
"Okay, fine.
In that case, my offer still stands - come work for me."
Khushi let
out a sigh. They were back to where they started.
It was a
sunny Tuesday afternoon in Delhi, almost three months since Garima's demise and
Khushi was found sitting in a luxurious restaurant, having lunch with Arnav.
The topic of their conversation was hard to ignore - he was trying to persuade
her to join his company. Again.
Truthfully,
Khushi had lost track of the number of times Arnav came to visit her after
their reconciliation in the park that day amidst a turbulent thunderstorm, if
that was what it was even called to begin with. It had taken her weeks to be able to vacate her seat
beside the window and simply step out of the house without feeling she was
betraying her mother's mere memory, let alone figuring out what place Arnav occupied
in her life.
However, that
didn't mean they were hostile. To Khushi's surprise, her bond with Arnav had
changed remarkably over the past three months. There was no trace of animosity,
uncertainty or guilt in between them. There was only peace, a comfort of sorts
that she openly welcomed into her life. In a way, he reminded her of the teddy
bear gifted to her five-year-old self, which she knew couldn't fix anything,
but hugged anyway to keep the nightmares at bay.
It was an
unexpected change in her life.
Of course, it
came with strings attached (what didn't?). Perhaps the most annoying of which was
Arnav's persistent job offers as an Assistant Project Manager in AR Designs. It was his way of giving her the chance to
rebuild her life, but it was a chance she didn't want.
After
spending a solid month in solitude, Khushi had finally realized what she
needed. So, without much debate, she applied to several companies throughout
the city and accepted the first offer she got. Her brother had almost called
her decision rash, but she knew it was right thing to do, because what she
needed was a fresh start, not the
complicated mess Arnav was offering her.
She was yet
to regret her choice.
Her new
company, a small upcoming textiles business called RKG Fabrics was practically radiant to accept her and more so to
see her work. It was a welcome change from the gloom surrounding her for the
past few days.
"I'm
serious," Arnav said, leaning forward. "Why are you being so stubborn about
this? You are being given a manager position in one of the city's top companies
- it's a chance many would kill to have."
"Exactly.
It's a position that I don't deserve."
"Of course
you deserve it! I wouldn't be here, if I didn't think you didn't."
"Maybe. But
what most people -including me- will see is that I'm being given this position
because you have feelings for me. And that is hardly what I need right now."
Arnav's face
softened. "Khushi, I know what you are capable of. You are doing nothing but
wasting your time at that company and you know it as well as I do. There is no
future there."
She pressed
her lips.
He let out an
exasperated sigh, understanding full well that she hadn't budged even an inch
from her decision. "You are as stubborn as Akash, if not more. And that is not a compliment."
Khushi
repressed a smile. "So, you and Akash are good then?"
"What do you
think?"
"Well, you
two were pretty civil at the graduation ceremony last month -thank you for the
dress by the way- so I'm assuming you both worked it out."
"My pleasure
birthday girl. And civil is just the word to describe where we stand right
now."
She snorted.
"He hasn't forgiven any of us then..."
"That depends
on what you consider forgiveness is."
Khushi stared
hard at Arnav, trying to understand the uncertainty in his usually confident
eyes; there was something he wasn't telling her. "He moved out, didn't he?" she
finally murmured.
If he was
startled to hear her accurately guess what was wrong, then he didn't let it
show. "Yes," he answered, curtly. "He moved out last week."
"And how do I
not know this?"
"You were
busy... and it's not something I wanted to advertise. It was his decision to move
out, and I have no choice but to accept that."
"What do you
mean you have no choice? I thought he came back to fix things?"
Arnav ran his
hands through his hair - it was a sign of how much stress this issue was
causing him. "Partly yes... he came back because he is our family and he owes it
to us. But he is different now. He doesn't see things the way he used to. He
moved on."
Khushi was
quiet.
"He believes
living on his own is the right thing to do."
"But?"
He was
confused. "But what?"
"There is
always a "but" with you two. What is it this time?"
Arnav paused,
seemingly trying to find the right words. "It's difficult... trying to let go of
someone you spent your entire like protecting. I know he means the best, I know
he didn't make the decision out of spite or resentment, but it goes against
everything I hold dear to watch him out on his own, without my help."
It took her a
moment to understand that. If there was anything Khushi learned from being in
his companionship of the past few days, it was how much Arnav needed his siblings. He needed them to
be alright, to be happy, for that and nothing else assured him of his place in
their lives, and more importantly, of a job well done.
It was both
admirable and unsettling.
"Arnav," she
said seriously. "What he wants is not your success. He wants your support. And there are a million ways
you can show him that without having to pay his bills for him."
He gazed at
her, the truth of her words slowly sinking in. "You know him so well..."
"Not as much
as you know him."
"I wish I knew him as well as I think I do.
But what surprises me, is that even with all that understanding, you two are
still not talking."
Khushi
averted her eyes. "We will... at some point."
"You aren't
even angry."
"No, I am
not," she agreed, honest. "Because he is my best friend. And whatever is going
on between us has nothing to do with you. No offense."
Arnav shook
his head. "None taken. I expected you to say that... I might have actually been
disappointed if you didn't defend him like you always do."
"Old habits
die hard."
He laughed.
"True. But new ones are not hard to make apparently."
She scrunched
her eyebrows. "Who are you talking about?"
"My brother... you
would be interested to know that he is exceptionally close with someone
nowadays."
Khushi cocked
her head to the side. "Why do I feel like you have been dying to tell me that?"
"Maybe
because I have been."
"So, you are
telling me that you brought me to lunch just so you can ask me about what your
brother does behind your back?"
He rolled his
eyes. "Stop being dramatic."
"No, I feel
insulted."
His evergreen
cheeky smile vanished as he said seriously, "I was joking Khushi - You know why I brought you here."
She didn't
answer.
"Fine, make
me tell you why," he continued, his tone dipping into sarcasm. "The weather is pleasant,
this restaurant is celebrated, the food is delicious, and you... are beautiful - should I continue? Or do you
get the picture?"
A coy smile
lit up her face. His annoyance was so endearing. "You made your point."
"I'm glad.
And I'm sorry if I made-"
She brushed
off his apology. "I was joking too Arnav. So, tell me, who is that "someone"
your brother is exceptionally close to?"
"Payal
Sharma."
Khushi waited,
a hundred percent sure that she misheard the name. There was no way Arnav was
talking about the same girl she rivaled with for most of her college days, the
same girl she uncontrollably spilled her feelings to. It just wasn't possible.
"What?" Arnav
said, confused to hear her pause. "Why are you acting like I have spoken a dead
person's name?"
"Payal
Sharma?" Khushi asked, snapping out of her reverie, aghast. "Akash is BFF with Payal Sharma?"
"Sounds like
you know her."
"Way too well."
It was
Arnav's turn to tilt his head and stare curiously at her. "You are hiding
something."
"No, I'm
not!" Her reply was too instant.
"That just proved you are. What is it?"
"Nothing
important."
Arnav raised
an eyebrow, incredulous. "Really? Then why are you keeping it a secret?"
"I'm not. I-"
"Seriously?
After all that I have confided in you, you don't trust me enough to tell me the
truth?"
Khushi
vaguely remembered saying something along those lines to him once. "Don't quote
me!"
"You quote me
all the time."
"Yes, because
I am Khushi and you are Arnav. Not the other way around!"
He crossed
his arms. "Fine. I will see if I can't find out by other means then."
She knew only
too well what that meant. Letting out a frustrated growl, she muttered, "Fine! I will tell you - She loves him."
His eyes widened,
astonished. "She loves him? Does he
know that? And more importantly, how on earth do you know that?"
Khushi smirked.
"Don't underestimate me. We have been down that road before, remember?"
He ignored
her taunt, and instead stared at the empty air. "This won't end well..."
"No, it
might," she said, thoughtful. "As long as you
don't interfere."
Arnav was
suddenly indignant. "Excuse me? Care to explain?"
"You sent me
a dress as an apology. Should I say
anything else?"
For a second,
Khushi got the vague feeling that she won, even though they weren't in an
argument or for that matter, a competition. But in that one second, all she
knew was that dumfounding the illustrious A.S.R. was nothing short of a
victory.
He cleared
his throat, somewhat recovering from her retort. "I sent you a dress," he clarified. "So that you can distract
yourself, even it was for a few short minutes, from the hailstorm of grief you
were caught in."
Khushi looked
down at the table, not wanting to be reminded of those black days.
"I'm not going
to apologize for that," he said firmly. "If there is anything I'm sorry for in
this situation, it is that I didn't give you the dress personally."
She was touched.
"Then why didn't you?"
"Because I
didn't want to press your brother any more than my actions already did."
"So you heard
about my brother?"
"Why would
you think I didn't?"
"I guess
Anjali really can't keep things to herself," she said, more to herself than
him. "But yes, Bhaiyya was pretty mad at you. He couldn't believe you had the
audacity to send me a dress, when you should have said sorry."
"Would saying
sorry change anything?"
"You did say
sorry. Multiple times."
Arnav stared
at her, surprised. "Is that why you defended me in front of him?"
"Did Anjali
tell you that?"
"No, she
didn't have to. The fact that your brother didn't say a word to me so far
proves that you said something you shouldn't have."
"I told him
the truth."
"Which is...?"
"Which is
that you did whatever you did for your brother. And you expected me to
understand. That's all."
He bore into
her eyes, sifting for the truth. "And do you? Understand?"
Khushi gazed
back, deep in thought. She had a long time to think about his actions and what
they meant. And as much as she wanted to evade his question, she knew she
couldn't put it off any longer. Even though they both never explicitly admitted
it, the truth was, they were in a relationship;
perhaps the strongest one she had in her whole life.
She had never
expected them to survive the set back she faced upon her mother's passing, but
they did. He stood by her for the three months, doing what, she was sure, even
he didn't realize.
"I understand
what you did," she answered slowly.
"But I'm not sure I understand why."
"You know
why."
"Do I?" she
challenged, leaning forward, not breaking from his unflinching gaze. "You
ditched me Arnav. Maybe I understand why, but the point is I'm not the type of person who takes
abandonment well. You know that more than anyone else."
He blinked, turning
away to look at the wall behind her. "I can't deny what I felt Khushi... what was
growing between us was much more than it should have been. And all I tried to
do was to stop it, before it got serious. If I truly believed you returned even
a miniscule of my feelings, I wouldn't have been able to let you go."
"Liar."
His eyes
flickered to hers.
"You knew
what I felt," she continued, boldly. She had reached a state of brutal honesty
with him and it was something she was going to keep for however long she could.
"Especially what I felt for Akash. And still you let me go."
"Not my
finest hour," he replied, with a sigh. "I agree."
She didn't
answer, knowing that there was more; he wasn't finished yet.
"But I love
you. I know it doesn't fix anything, but it's the best I've got."
Khushi didn't
know what to say. It was the second time he had said those three complex words
and even though her mind was clear of grief, something was holding her back.
"So, if
tomorrow Akash has a problem with us again," she said, clearing her throat.
"You would let me go?"
"I trust my
brother," he replied calmly. "He will never have a problem with something that
makes me happy."
"Well he did
until now."
"That was a
misunderstanding."
"Fine," she
grumbled, annoyed at his well-rehearsed answers. "But let's just say he has a problem. Then what?"
"Then we will
talk about it."
"And if it
doesn't work out?"
Arnav
shrugged. "Then it doesn't work out. Believe it or not, I do learn from my mistakes. And what I learned from the biggest
mistake I made in a very long time, is that I can't control my brother's decisions. I accepted his refusal to
join the company, I accepted his decision to move out... So needless to say, I will accept his hatred for our
relationship."
And without
knowing why or how, Khushi was satisfied with his answer. She had spent so much
of her life holding on to things that didn't matter, that she couldn't afford
to let go of things that did. It was what her mother had been trying to tell
her all along and it was something she didn't understand until weeks after her
death, when she had the courage to go back and remember her parting words:
Promise me Meeti... you have to stop
running...
She hadn't
understood it then, too caught up with the horror of what had unfolded after,
but she understood it now.
She had to stop avoiding the truth; she had to stop running. She loved him and
that was the only thing that mattered. What he did and didn't do wasn't even
relevant to her decision. So, all she said in answer was:
"We are not
in a relationship."
A dazzling
smile lit up his face, as he understood what she had said. "Yet."
She bit her
lip.
"But we will
be -officially that is- in about two seconds because I convinced you."
"No," she
interjected. "Because you love me."
"And?"
She was
quiet, knowing the expectant look on his face. But she couldn't and didn't want to say it; she had enough
bad luck as it is.
"And I'm
getting late," she replied, turning away from his disappointed expression and
collecting her handbag. "I have to get back to work."
He rolled his
eyes. "Oh please! I'm sure you do more work in an hour than they do in the
whole day. You don't have to get back to anything."
"Have some
respect!" she chided, standing up. "At least they didn't grill me on the spot
in front of the entire board of members on my very first day!"
He rose too, slipping on his metallic grey blazer. "Save the accusations birthday girl
- you enjoyed being in the limelight
that day."
Khushi
smirked, knowing she couldn't argue with that. So instead, she leaned in and
kissed him on the cheek without even the slightest of hesitation. "Lunch is on
you by the way."
He grinned,
not at all startled with her gesture. "Will it ever not be on me?"
"Maybe... but
not in the near future. I will see you soon."
Then waving
her hand, she set off from the restaurant, determined to finish the sales
report she delayed doing all morning, courtesy of her vividly imaginative brain
upon finding out she was going on a date
with the legendary Arnav Singh Raizada.
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