MG SS- LOVE ME NOT~ Thread #2 - Page 57

Meet though scared and hurt, found solace in the arms of her beloved. Those moments came back to her with his loving words when her life was snatched away from her. she cried... and she realized today how desperately she had wished for this one moment when maan would hold her and take away all her friends. She was in love with this man and there was no denying... her prayers were answered today. She had always imagined this day... and gulped down her pain when she knew he would have touched someone else... kissed someone else.. hugged someone else... but now nothing mattered. She fell in his arms, crying her eyes out, giving into her feelings that she had bottled up as mere wishes all this time!

"When you realize you are losing something, you try desperately to hold on to it, try not to let it go...cling to it. And this is how the human psychology works. But there are times when you have no choice but to let go! you know you are losing, your life is going away from you... yet you can't have it, you can't stop it...and you have to let go, despite it kills you."

Meet sobbed in his arms while she' was torn! Someone reconciled and someone lost. Someone cried openly and someone knew her cries were not meant to be heard. She watched maan console meet, asking again and again what had happened to her but she was all alone right now. May be this was for good..maan got to know about meet. That way, they don't have to stay away from each other at least. But what about her? she has to bear the consequences. She quietly retreated back to her room, making it oblivious to the duo...well she didn't have to, technically!

Maan cupped her face, "Meet...you hurt me!"

Meet was nowhere near stopping.. she had buried everything deep within. Seeing her life end... seeing her sister fall in love with the love of her life...and she knew well she hurt him!

"I... I am so..sorry..", her words here interrupted by her hiccups. He immediately grabbed a glass of water and made her drink, "shh..shhh... please Meet you know i cant see you cry."

But meet couldn't stop. Those terrible moments just flashed in her head like a movie making her tremble and maan realized she was not in a position to speak. And indeed meet wasn't... seeing maan after so long.. touching him, hearing his voice made her so weak today. She had somehow held herself without seeing him but now, she was way too vulnerable.

Maan caressed her cheeks lovingly, "shhh... am here. Lets not speak about anything of the past... not unless you are ready yourself... but i am upset meet! Why did you hide from me? You know you can trust me right... phir why all this?"

"I... was scared maan... i was scared of myself... please forgive me...please...", meet sobbed.

Maan sighed... he was upset with meet for hiding things from him but seeing her in this condition made his heart burst in pain. She might have been through hell and right now she needed no accusation but love!

Geet sat in her bed with her laptop, checking her mails. What has she done and what would she do now? She fell in love with someone who was like a forbidden fruit to her... she had made love to the person she loved... not her sister's fianc but the truth can't be denied. She sighed and threw her head back...her mind was too jammed and her heart already broken... she recalled the times when he had held her close... their first kiss... his touch... making love... she cheated him! and when this reason dawned upon her, there was a self loathe... her mother had been right. She was the one who did wrong... she knew it was a trap but still she was lured and she fell for it.

And then suddenly something new struck her... he never loved her! she had known this... for a long time and she had been stupid enough to ignore it. She felt like laughing at herself and she did. She kept the laptop aside and laughed like a maniac... until her laughter turned into cries of helplessness. And there was such surge of emotions in her.. that she fell on the floor, crying, keeping her head on the bed...

"Touch me love, Hold me Close..

Make me Yours but Love Me Not..."

She had read it somewhere she doesn't remember but it came to her mind and she recited them with her broken voice. How stupid she could be? she knew she couldn't be loved back and yet she was put nin a situation where she felt felt his touch, she felt his kiss but never his love! It was as if someone had put her on wet clay... se could do anything but love him or let him love her.

No one knew how long it was but maan carried meet to her bed and tucked her gently under the duvet. He seemed a bit lost. Meet had spent the whole evening with him, just holding him. as he caressed her hair, she held his hand,"its late maan...won't you go home!"

"no..i won't leave you all alone like this...", he spoke firmly.

Meet's eyes softened, "but geet is there for me..."

And he just turned his face away, gulping the immense pain that had shot up in his gut and it was tough to swallow.

Meet noticed that and squeezed his hand softly, "maan... isme geet ki koi galti nahi hain...it was..."

"No stop!", he halted her, unable to take that pain, " i don't want to talk about it meet. Please...anything but her..."

"but..."

He stood up, "you sleep. I will be around. If you need anything, just give me a call."

And he walked out, leaving a worried meet. She was scared as to what to do now. Maan is too upset to listen to anything. She felt so guilty... if he said anything to geet...it would be her fault. Geet did whatever she had asked to... then what was her fault if he fell in love with maan? She felt her disability a curse... she cant do anything! The least she could do was tell maan the truth but he was not even ready to listen. If her legs worked, she'd run to him right away and make him listen... she ruined her sisters and her maan's life!!

It was way past midnight when geet woke up with heavy eyelids. She had cried herself to sleep. She looked around for water and found her jug empty. She hadn't had any food and she just couldn't have it as well. She felt dizzy but still managed to get up, take her jug and go out. It was completely dark and she, for once, was glad that there was darkness.

With slow and stealth steps she dragged herself towards the kitchen. She filled her jug and slowly walked back towards her room when she noticed a faint silhouette of someone in the room. Suspicious, she quickly turned on the lights and turned, only to see maan, sitting on the couch, with his head buried between his hands. She felt like running to him, hugging him, crying, saying that she was sorry and she didn't mean to hurt him.. tell him she loves him whole heartedly and that there was no cheating when she fell in love...

He was startled with the sudden lights and stood up, only to see her standing in front of him, with a jug. Her eyes spoke volumes but he shut himself off... no! She deceived him. his love was brutally disrespected and she conned him. he hated her mere sight!! Her face had myriad of emotions he didn't want to read. He suddenly felt so enraged... and so hurt!!

He turned to walk away but her voice checked him, "maan..."

She couldn't see him turning away from her like this. She would apologise and she'd go away from them and never come back. She could take anything but his pain! And right now, he was in pain just because of her!!! and what killed her most was he didn't even turn back! He just remained still at his place.

She gulped down the lump that hurt her throat and managed to squeak," am so sorry... please mujhe maaf kar do...", and dipped her head.

"what are you sorry about?", his cold words pierced the silence brutally and so her heart. Tears rolled down her eyes as she bit her lips. And the next moment he turned back and walked straight to her, his eyes red with rage and hurt and what not!!

"what the hell are you sorry about hmm?", he roared! How dare she! How could she!!

"maan... I didn't mean to... i just didn't know how...", she fumbled with her words but he was nowhere near listening.

"what are you sorry about...tell me! Sorry that your are not Meet? Sorry that you are someone called Geet? Sorry that you played me? Conned me?? Tell me what is it!!". He screamed.

Her vision blurred with those endless tears while her lips trembled.. she had never seen him this hurt or this angry. And why wouldn't he!!

"i know i did wrong... but please.. believe me maan... i didn't want to deceive you.."

But he was too angry perhaps. He grabbed her by her shoulders and pushed her against the wall behind her. she cried in pain while the jug fell off her hands and shattered into millions of pieces. Some even pierced her toes and so did his! But they couldn't care!

"aahan... but you did deceive!", and a sarcastic smile played across his lips,"You played me well Miss geet Handa! Thats what you had always wanted right? You had wanted me... mujhe haasil karna chahti thi na tum... thats why...youare nothing but a cheat... a bloody cheap bitch!"

She wasn't even shocked that he called her a bitch, rather she was too hurt to see him hurt this much. Her trembling fingers reached his cheeks but he jerked it away, "dare you touch me!!! You disgust me right now... you are repulsive to me!!", and his voice turned more into a cry, "what did i ever do to you that you did something like this to me geet? Kya bigada tha meine tumhara... you let me fall down in my own eyes, do you realize that??!!"

She broke down, seeing him so distant today. She herself didn't have any words to tell him right now. Her intentions weren't wrong but his love was wronged here. Its he who was deceived!

"maan mein maanti hun mere galti hain but I really do love you. And I never wanted to come between you or meet...mera yakeen karo.. I never wanted to come between the two of you... and even now you can..."

"get out of my sight...", he breathed out.

She halted hearing that coldness in his voice... he repulsed her. her dreams remained mere dreams...they have already been broken.

"Get out...", he shouted, moving away from her and looked at his hands that held her and then back at her, "it disgusts me to even think that i touched you..."

And she couldn't take it. She ran back to her room and closed the door and fell on the bed crying. His words killed her... his accusation... it killed her. his rejection... those same hands had touched her in ways she ha never imagined... and now he was disgusted because of her! her heart broke into millions and zillions of pieces and she suddenly found it too difficult to live with this regret.

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Meet watched geet brew her coffee so mechanically. She couldn't see her sister break down like this. She had a vague idea that geet and maan had a confrontation but what, she didn't know. But geet seemed pale each passing day. Its been a week now and maan stayed with them, taking care of her. every time he stayed around, geet kept herself locked up in her room. She never came out to even have her food. Maan seemed upset too but he never showed it to meet and he wouldn't listen to her whenever she spoke about geet. The only time geet came out of her room was when maan went to office, took care of her, spoke nothing more than needed and quietly retired back moments before maan came back.

"geet... "

"umm??", she gave meet her coffee and settled on the step pf the backyard, looking into oblivion.

"i Know its hard for you... but you know you can tell me. I will tell maan everything..."

Geet gave a weak smile but her eyes seemed empty, "it perhaps doesn't matter anymore."

"but geet... you are hurting.. i can't see you like this!"

Geet stood up and turned away, hiding her tears, "am not hurting meet. I know it will take time but I will be okay. Don't worry about me. Lets get inside!"

She quickly finished her coffee and wheeled meet back into the house. And today she had perhaps been unlucky. Maan entered the house and she halted. He did too. Their eyes met in a painful battle and he looked away. Its been a week by now and he never stayed in the same room as she was. He had said she repulsed him... and his rejection had broken her!

She blinked away her tears and walked back to her room, leaving meet and maan alone.

And when the night fell, she took her belongings, left her phone on her desk and walked out of the room. It was almost 1am and she had chosen the perfect timing. She couldn't take his rejection. It was ironic... she expected yet she never expected it. She was done with love to last for a life time. She peeped into meet's room and found her sleeping. Maan had slept off on the couch itself. She looked at him for one last time and walked out. Her tickets were in place, her University had called her back and this was for her good...their good. She was indeed a cheap bitch. He had spoken that to her angrily..and she knew it well.

She checked the time...4:30am and the flight took off. She closed her eyes and silently recited the poem,

"Touch me Love, Hold me close

Make me yours, But Love Me Not!"

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next: meet confronts maan

Prev: PART 18

Next: PART 20

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