Posted:
OS | Unforgiven
She was sitting on the corner of the wooden bench, wearing a chiffon-white-colored sari. The curves of her body openly taunting me with the red scars that they were covered with. Her hair came out loose as she looked up towards me. She'd always knew when I was around.
It was our thing.
The soft curve that would appear on her lips with my arrival didn't surface today, instead the rigidness in her soft face grew. I wanted to apologize today. I had been wanting to that since last two years but the amount of courage it takes was not something that I had in me.
Her eyes, soft orbs of hazel glittered with the light casting its rays from the window behind her, fluttered breaking the eye-contact. Her lawyer walked out from the door right beside to take her away.
There clearly aren't any rules with me seeing her further or taking to her but her lawyer has threatened me a number of time with a retraining order when I tried to talk to her after hearings. Perhaps he knew that I would take advantage of her weakness and have her come back to the house.
I didn't blame him. The man was doing his job.
Heaving a heavy sigh that was full of regret that was never to be erased, I walked towards the courtroom. The verdict for the kids' custody was going to be given today.
She was already seated with her lawyer, the man mumbling by her ear and most likely giving her instructions of what to do if asked anything in the last minute; while she sat like a lifeless person. To add to that was the colorless cloth draped around her. While on any other day it would make her appear angelic, today it appeared as a cause of her misery. I was the cause of her misery and standing her alive. I should be the one walking around in white with my face blackened.
She was still young. Still beautiful. She had the world in her footsteps for a couple many years then me.
She stiffened, realizing my presence in the room. I silently went ahead and sat beside my lawyer. The lady looked at me wearily. She wasn't too happy to be dealing with a person like me; "I'm sure all will end well or at least fair." she whispered stiffly pulling out her notes.
I nodded, adjusting myself on the hard seat. In minutes the judge arrived. It was there, the moment whe everything was going to be declared. When the final decisions of my life would be taken. The churning in my stomach wasn't unusual but the increase in the amount of it wasn't something that I would come across on regular basis.
I was after all, a man of confidence and stature. I still owned India's most expensive brand in fashion and still was wealthy with materials. My fists clenched each other tightly as proceedings started once again.
She was looking at me. She would always look at me as days like these would start. I don't want to owe her anything more then i already do.
"It's been decided that Mr. Raizada would financially support and hold on to all the expenses of the children. The court upholds the decision of letting the two children study in the boarding school. During the school's vacations, the children will spend time with their mother and shall remain in her supervision. Mr. Raizada is allowed to visit them weekly. Mr. Raizada is also allowed to celebrate holidays with the children but with Ms. Khushi's presence.
Further he is subjected to three months of anger management from today onwards. If there are positive changes in his attitude, he may be allowed to keep the children depending on the children's will.
..."
Further he is subjected to three months of anger management from today onwards. If there are positive changes in his attitude, he may be allowed to keep the children depending on the children's will.
..."
That was it. That was it. Something had gripped itself inside me, tightening up my body and leaving it numbed. It was going to alright perhaps. If not today then maybe tomorrow. I lifted my head to see the judge bang the gavel again. It was all over now. The nightmare that had been taking place. The intensity was now going to be replaced by dull darkness that I welcomed myself.
My eyes lingered at the man who just announced the destiny my life will follow from now on. I shifted to see her. She appeared less fragile then before. She will have her kids by her. She has her family by her. She has my family by her. That's probably enough people to compensate my absence from her life.
I thanked my lawyer as we all stood up to leave and empty the court-room. The musky smell in the small room settled inside me as I weakly thanked the lawyer and took on the materials I would need for my anger-management.
She lingered behind her lawyer, eventually stopping shirt by the door where her aunt was waiting for her. I assume she came in late after my arrival. She looked at my frozen steps before meeting my eyes.
I watched her breathe heavily before handing the folder in her hands to her aunt and walk away from her towards me.
My eyes lingered at the man who just announced the destiny my life will follow from now on. I shifted to see her. She appeared less fragile then before. She will have her kids by her. She has her family by her. She has my family by her. That's probably enough people to compensate my absence from her life.
I thanked my lawyer as we all stood up to leave and empty the court-room. The musky smell in the small room settled inside me as I weakly thanked the lawyer and took on the materials I would need for my anger-management.
She lingered behind her lawyer, eventually stopping shirt by the door where her aunt was waiting for her. I assume she came in late after my arrival. She looked at my frozen steps before meeting my eyes.
I watched her breathe heavily before handing the folder in her hands to her aunt and walk away from her towards me.
"I forgive you Arnav. I forgave you a long time ago. I came to peace with all that has happened in last two years, a long time ago. I' sorry I had to do this to you.. I can't thank you enough for the apartment and everything you are doing for the kids. You realizing your mistake has always been enough for me."
She paused again before covering her face with her left hand. The tiredness was apparent. Words never came to me easily, and like every other time, she knew exactly what to say. She leaned towards me in flip of a second and placed a light kiss against my lips. I looked at her taken aback. She gently patted my arm before turning around to face the disapproval of her aunt.
I think I saw a small smile appear on her face as she walked away. I knew for a fact that she being herself would never stop loving me but then there were always things about her that surprised me everyday.
I missed that.
My blinding rage on considering her more of a possession then a wife in last years of our marriage had made me lose sight on the important things. The defeated feeling overcame me once again ans I watched her leave.
Aman was waiting outside for her and her aunt to be escorted safely. I stepped out from the now-empty room into the hall and walked towards the entrance where my guards were waiting for me.
We all make mistakes. But I know that this wasn't a mistake. What I did to her. It wasn't love. It wasn't protecting her. It was making her weak enough to be considered as my possession. All of this, the vanishing of my wife and my kids from my life was enough to make me realize what kind of society we have molded; and of course, the monster I let myself turn into.
It was time to rectify. Pulling off my shades, I sat inside the car before being driven away from the chaos I had welcomed.
continued on here: http://www.unforgivenemotions.wordpress.com
I think I saw a small smile appear on her face as she walked away. I knew for a fact that she being herself would never stop loving me but then there were always things about her that surprised me everyday.
I missed that.
My blinding rage on considering her more of a possession then a wife in last years of our marriage had made me lose sight on the important things. The defeated feeling overcame me once again ans I watched her leave.
Aman was waiting outside for her and her aunt to be escorted safely. I stepped out from the now-empty room into the hall and walked towards the entrance where my guards were waiting for me.
We all make mistakes. But I know that this wasn't a mistake. What I did to her. It wasn't love. It wasn't protecting her. It was making her weak enough to be considered as my possession. All of this, the vanishing of my wife and my kids from my life was enough to make me realize what kind of society we have molded; and of course, the monster I let myself turn into.
It was time to rectify. Pulling off my shades, I sat inside the car before being driven away from the chaos I had welcomed.
continued on here: http://www.unforgivenemotions.wordpress.com
***
dear friends, i recently got into college and as it turns out, it is way more hard then school with only just the classes itself. we can all only hope for my survival after i get an internship or a job perhaps. anyway, i apologize for my hiatus and would give a heads up that the blog will be fully updated by december. if you've stuck around this long, please do stay a few more months. - A x
dear friends, i recently got into college and as it turns out, it is way more hard then school with only just the classes itself. we can all only hope for my survival after i get an internship or a job perhaps. anyway, i apologize for my hiatus and would give a heads up that the blog will be fully updated by december. if you've stuck around this long, please do stay a few more months. - A x
Anupamaa
Hindi TV Shows
Love Friendship Dating and Relationships
Udne Ki Aasha
813