FF: The Beautiful and the Condemned (Completed) - Page 20

Night had fallen. Rudra had returned back home with a solemn and silent Parvati. He immediately led her down into the cellar. The entire ride back was silent, except for the small sniffles that escaped from Parvati. Even now, she hadn't said a word. She quietly let Rudra take her wherever he was going. Rudra un-cuffed her hands and she immediately grabbed her grazed arm, which was still dripping in red liquid. She hissed as she applied pressure to it in an attempt to stop the bleeding. Knowing all too well about the pain of gunshots, Rudra let out a small hiss as well. Parvati leaned back against the wall and slid down, closing her eyes and letting out a sob. Rudra was immediately worried and knelt down in front of her.

His voice dripped with concern, "Paro! Are you okay? Does your arm hurt?"

She didn't respond nor did she open her eyes.

"Paro, does it hurt?"

She nodded slowly.

Rudra went back upstairs and returned with a small first-aid box. He sat back down next to Parvati. She refused to look in his direction. Her head remained down, but she knew he was there with her. Rudra glanced at her before turning his attention to her wound.

She dropped her hand as if she had lost all feeling in it, revealing the gash on her arm. Her alabaster skin coated in red peeked through the tear in the kurta. Rudra ripped the sleeve from the tear so he could properly examine and tend to her injury. As he glanced up at Parvati, he found that she hadn't moved nor did she resist. He opened the first aid box and began attending to the gunshot graze. Each movement Rudra made was done with caution. He looked at her every now and then to make sure she was okay. She hissed and flinched as he wiped the blood off her arm and pour antiseptic on it. The second she felt the stinging she grabbed onto Rudra. He shot a concerned look at her. Parvati squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her jaw. He waited until he felt her loosen to continue. Rudra taped a plaster to her arm, and as a precaution wrapped a bandage around it as well.

The entire time she remained silent, and it irked him to no end. He wanted her to say something, anything. If she was in pain, he wanted to know. If she was alright, he wanted to know. Anything, as long as she was talking to him, explaining what was going on in her mind. She hadn't even looked at him since Tejawat pointed a gun to her head. She could at least say thank you for saving her, he growled mentally. Finally unable to take her silence, Rudra shifted his position so he was now in front of her. He opened his mouth to speak, but stopped. What could he say to her? Parvati had just watched her mami-sa die. She had just realized Tejawat, a man who she considered the savior of her village, was a criminal. The foundation of her faith in everything around her crumbled. And Rudra, being the emotionless man he is, didn't know how to make her feel better. He didn't know how to empathize with her. He was unaccustomed to giving words of comfort. He was the executioner, not the comforter. Yet, Rudra found himself searching the darkest depths of his mind to find something to say to Parvati.

That was when her soft sniffles reached his ears. Her tears, which now escaped her eyes, fell on the concrete floor, leaving dark spots on it. Rudra's eyes widened in shock. Without any hesitation, he moved forward and lifted her chin so she would look at him. There was nothing that could have prepared him for the surge of pain he felt when he looked into her eyes. Her tears were streaming down her face, her soft sobs echoed in the room. But that look in her eyes had the ability to kill him. Her eyes, which once shined brightly with its hazel intensity, was now almost pitch black. The sparkle, the glimmer, it was gone. Her ability to hope was gone. His own eyes reflected anguish, as if he was feeling the pain she was trying to show him.

With pain laced in his face, Rudra spoke, "Paro..."

"Why didn't you let thakur-sa kill me?" she asked.

The question left Rudra speechless. His mouth remained agape. He dropped his hand from her chin. Parvati continued to look at him, asking him questions he himself couldn't answer.

"Why didn't you let thakur-sa kill me?" she repeated.

No response.

"You're right you know. When the order comes, you will have to kill me. It's your job. The job thakur-sa has given you. The job you've been doing for so long. Right?"

Rudra swallowed hard and looked away, giving a silent answer to her question.

"Why don't you just kill me now?"

He looked back at her, "What?"

"Thakur-sa has managed to kill me and still keep me breathing. Everyone I loved, everyone I trusted is gone. I have no one. All I have is my aching soul. Killing me will separate me from that as well. So why don't you just do it now?"

Rudra didn't respond. The seriousness of her tone intimidated him. He had had prisoners beg for death before. They screamed mercilessly, begging to be freed. Some begged to be spared, promising to never speak of their imprisonment ever again. But Parvati was different. She was asking for him to rip her soul out of her body. She was asking for death because she felt that she had nothing left. And for some reason, it infuriated him. He had done so much to keep her alive, even deceived Tejawat, even if it was for a few more days. If thakur-sa found out, it could cost him his job, maybe his life. But at this moment, Rudra didn't care. He was more upset about the fact that she wanted to die, and that raging flame of anger began further melting the ice around his heart.

"Stop talking nonsense," he said harshly.

"It's not nonsense," she retorted. "You will have to kill me one day won't you?"

"How can you look at your executioner and say that so easily?! You're asking for death as though you are ordering a meal!"

"Does it matter how I ask? Even if you say no now, you'll have to fulfill thakur-sa's order eventually."

Rudra leaned forward so his face was only inches away from Parvati's. At this point, her tears had stop. Her eyes didn't dare break contact with his, which were burning with an unjustifiable rage.

In a deep growl, he said, "You will never...never...ask me for that again. Do you understand?"

Paro remained silent. When she broke eye contact, Rudra took that as an understanding that she wouldn't ask for death again. He quickly chained her back up. He looked at her for a minute longer before grabbing the first-aid box and getting up. Rudra had just made it to the staircase when he heard her voice.

"You were right," Parvati spoke.

He stopped and glanced over his shoulder.

She looked directly at him now, "You were right...about Varun. Everything has happened because of him. But then, I'm also at fault too. I didn't love him and yet I agreed to marry him. If I had just said no, then I wouldn't be here. And maybe, my mami-sa wouldn't have been killed. I should've spoken up and said no to the proposal. I'm just stupid-."

Rudra turned around, "You're not stupid, Paro. He was the stupid one. You're not to blame. It's all his fault. You've been a pawn this entire time, an innocent pawn. You did nothing wrong."

"Then why do I feel so guilty?"

This was something Rudra was unable to answer. He tried to explain to her that it wasn't her fault, but the guilt was something he couldn't understand. As she wiped the tears from her face, he looked away. He had seen her cry so many times before and it hadn't bothered him, but now her tears were making him suffer. He didn't like the sight of them, not one bit. However, there was nothing he could do or say to make her tears stop. So he did the only thing he felt he could do to end his own pain. Rudra turned around and walked out of the cellar, leaving Parvati alone.

She wanted to cry, and for a little while she did. But after an hour, the tears had dried up. She leaned her head back against the wall and took in the silence around her. She realized she would have to get used to it, after all, silence was going to have to be her solace for the remainder of her life. She prayed for comfort. However, when her eyes finally closed, an image of Rudra flashed in her mind. Although stunned, she kept her eyes closed. Instead, Paro let the images her mind was showing her continue, while letting her heart try to interpret its meaning. She remembered him taking care of her, protecting her, comforting her, talking to her. His gentleness towards her was surprising, even now as she thought about it. But there was something she realized some time ago, when he was comforting her in the storm...she found solace in Rudra. Calling him her captor felt wrong now because a captor was suppose to be cruel, and even though Rudra was a jallad before, something was different now.

He had just gotten upset with her because she asked him to kill her, but why? That was his job and he was going to have to do it eventually. The way he growled at her was frightening. It wasn't just anger that he displayed towards her, it was a genuine concern. Paro wondered why there was even concern visible in him now. He wasn't the same person he was a few days ago, something in him had changed. She wished she could ask what, but she knew she had no right to ask. Her mind was saying that, but with every convincing statement, her heart would beat twice as fast as Rudra's image reappeared. Parvati continued to battle between her head and heart, unknowingly drifting into a deep slumber.

What startled her awake was the sound of the cellar doors being yanked open. She blinked a few times to wake herself up. That was when she noticed Rudra making his way to her. That anger that was normally present around him had disappeared. He looked much calmer now. He came up to her and pulled her up by her uninjured arm. He quickly managed to unchain her again. Parvati didn't resist, she just went along with whatever he was doing. His hand encircled her wrist, and his tight grip made her flinch in pain. He glanced up at her face before looking down at her hand. Rudra loosened his hold and pulled her behind him, guiding her up the stairs out of the cellar.

She remembered when the realization dawned on her that she was living under the jallad's home. She was terrified with shock, but now, she felt nothing. What she was more curious about was why he brought her back up here. She looked around and took in the emptiness of the room. This emptiness wasn't any different than the cellar below. Rudra stopped in the middle of the room and released her hand. He walked over to the cupboard and pulled out a large black bag. Parvati tilted her head to get a better view. It was a shopping bag. He turned around and walked up to her with it in his hands. The closer he got to her, the more nervous he looked, so much so that when he stopped in front of her, he was having difficulty making eye contact.

With his eyes on the bag in his hand, Rudra spoke, "These are some clothes for you."

"For me?" she said in shock.

"You can't continue wearing my clothes. And I figured you'd want a fresh change of clothes...seeing that yours are..."

Parvati looked down at herself, remembering that her mami-sa's blood had seeped through the now-tattered kurta she was wearing. Her ignorance of the situation sent a chill down her spine. How could she have forgotten the feel of her own mami-sa's blood seeping through her clothes, touching her skin? Parvati slowly extended her hands and took the bag from Rudra. She looked inside and found three sets of clothes, each a different color.

Rudra at the bathroom door behind him and said, "The bathroom is right there. I assume you will want to bathe, since you haven't since you've been here. Go ahead. Go."

Parvati nodded and walked towards the bathroom. As her hand grabbed the knob, she stopped. Without turning around she spoke, "Rudra?"

He turned around and found her back facing him, "Yes?"

"Thank you."

Parvati entered the bathroom, leaving Rudra in a bewildered state.

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