Tangled Webs - An IshRa OS
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave...when first we practice to deceive."
Walter Scott, Marmion
He walks into his dark, empty home at night.
For a moment he is confused but also relieved when he notices the place to be empty, he thinks he could not possibly have handled the riot that is his family right now. His head is a mess and he is lost.
How could he have ended up here? What is he to do? How should he do it? What will he tell Ishita? How will he face everyone?
The questions aren't new, they have been going on in his head ever since that fateful day when he confronted Shagun over Amma' accident...only things are a bigger mess now than they were before.
He has a glass of water and walks up to his room, unbuttoning his coat while at it. Carelessly he throws his coat on the bed and finally as his exhaustion takes over, he falls back on his bed sprawling on it. Closing his eyes for a while, he just lies there, praying and hoping for a miracle, for something, anything to show him the way to go about. However when nothing works, he sits on his bed and runs a hand through his hair. Letting out a sigh, he gets up and walks to his cupboard. Taking out his nightclothes, he shuts the door to the cupboard and finally discards his socks and shoes.
He is on his way to the bathroom for a shower, with his nightclothes in hand when he hears a noise that startles him. Someone is in Ruhi' room he figures from the direction of the noise. Alert and careful he makes his way to his daughter' room remembering the night when he was locked in with his wife and a thief had broken in.
He figures it could be much the same tonight... Pammy Aunty has invited the society for a Mata Ki Chowki she arranged to offer her prayers for Pooja and Shristhi' wellbeing after the forty-day period is over. Everyone is in the society hall and any thief might see this as an opportunity.
Dropping his clothes at the threshold, he slowly opens the door to his daughter' bedroom and notices a figure standing in the dark besides the bed.
Quietly he sneaks up on the figure and grabs hold of the person from the back, with the surprised move they end up falling on the bed. It is when he hears the scream; he recognizes the voice that is yelling is that of his wife.
Quickly he places a hand on her mouth to get her to quiet down, but before he could utter a word to say something to her she bites him. He screams out in pain which finally has her aware of the intruder who sneaked up on her.
"Raman?"
Still shaking his hand he lets out a hiss and annoyingly replies to her,
"No I am a bloody ghost, of course it's me."
She gets up and puts on the light then, and walks up to him once again.
"Let me see." She says quietly indicating his hand as he allows her to inspect it. She notices a slight bleeding on his palm and sees she tore off the flesh of his palm with the bite.
"I am sorry I didn't know it was you. It's just that you scared me."
She walks out of the room with that and is back with the first aid kit. Kneeling down before him, as he sits on their daughter' bed she cleans the wound with an antiseptic.
"You could have asked me who I was before biting that hard you know. Stupid woman, ahhh,... be careful will you?"
She does not look at him as she continues cleaning up the blood but with a slight tremble in her voice replies,
"The last time someone held me like this, the man didn't reply when I asked him the same question. You coming up on me from behind it felt like a dj vu I reacted first."
When he looks at her peculiarly and is slightly confused, she finally looks at him assuming he understood but his look, the lines on his forehead coupled with his silence assure her he is confused. She replies to his silent question,
"Parmeet, the night you were in Mumbai. He did the same thing. He came in our room and..."
She stops there and continues bandaging the wound. Once that is done she gets up and leaves the room.
He switches off the light to Ruhi' room as he walks out and notices his wife in the kitchen.
"Why didn't you go to the Jagraata?"
"I wasn't feeling well so I stayed home. You go freshen up, I'll set the dinner table."
"Why what's the matter with you? Is it anything serious?" He asks concerned. She looks at him than and for a moment as she notices the lines of worry etched on his face for her, she feels a mix of anger, hurt and pain.
"You need not be bothered about me, go and change." She replies coldly once she feels she can reply with a firm tone.
"What is that supposed to mean?" He asks affronted.
"Nothing at all, go Raman, dinner will be ready in five."
"To hell with dinner, what is the matter with you? Why are you talking like this? I asked you a simple question and I expected a simple answer than why are you behaving like this."
She closes her eyes and purses her lips before replying him.
"Nothing is the matter I told you; I am just not feeling well that is all."
He walks up to her in the kitchen when she is taking out the plates and bowls and holds her hand.
"Ishita, is there any problem? Look you can talk to me."
When she looks at him, he finds something amiss in her. Her eyes look blank and her face is devoid of any emotion whatsoever.
"I am fine Raman, there is no problem."
He cannot accept her reply for the truth and so prods her again.
"If everything is fine, then what were you doing in Ruhi' room?"
"I was cleaning it up."
"Without lights on?"
Finally, something snaps in her as she looks at him angrily,
"What is your problem Raman?"
"I asked you the same thing."
"Why can't you just leave me alone?"
He holds her arm at that and turns her around,
"Ishita, look I am really not in a mood to play games alright, so whatever it is you have to say, just say it. I wanted to talk to you... about something very important. Something I think you should know but unless whatever you have on your mind that is clearly troubling you, we cannot proceed. So just spit it out."
She frees her arm from his hold and walks towards the dining table.
"I already told you I am annoyed because of my health nothing else. You don't have to worry about me."
"How am I supposed to not worry about you, you are my wife."
The comment brings a smile on her face with an amused look that confuses him.
"Just say what you have to say Raman please. From the looks of it, something has been on your mind for days now and right now, it is just the two of us at home so you can say whatever you have to. If you delay now... everyone will return sooner or later and perhaps you might not get another chance to talk with me in privacy."
"Why don't you go first? I'll say what I have to later."
"Raman... look I am not having any problems for the last time, and I know you do have some. I am not blind to not notice things, so if you have anything to say please just say it or else I am going to bed. "
Up against a wall, he realizes she will not budge so finally with a sigh relents.
"Have a seat." He says with a worried expression on his face, as he takes a seat beside her on the dining table.
"Ishita, there is something I have been meaning to say to you for a couple of days now. "
She nods her head in response.
"Ishita... for the past couple of days...I, I have been hiding things from you." He says without looking at her, he feels his mouth dry and licks his lips as he fidgets with the mobile in his hand.
When she does not respond at last he manages to look at her and notices her face is ashen, nonetheless she is looking at him silently and finally she nods her head and replies in a small voice,
"Go on I am listening." She says with a hitch in her voice.
"Ishita...I, I have been avoiding you for the past few days. I... I wanted to tell you this for so long now but I could not, but I have to say it now. I cannot... just cannot keep on doing this anymore. It's tearing me apart."
"What is it Raman?" She asks him finally, he notices her face looks blank but there is no mistaking the sadness in her eyes.
"I have been secretly meeting Shagun for the past few days." He says and lets out a breath. Trying to figure out how to continue he misses the way she closes her eyes and swallows a gulp.
Before he can continue, she speaks up in a small voice,
"I know."
He looks up at her with wide eyes incredulously.
"You do?"
She merely nods her head once again, not trusting her voice.
"Since when?"
"Ruhi' first day back at school."
He clearly is caught off guard at her revelation as he catches a sharp breath.
"Why didn't you say anything then?"
"I was waiting for you to speak up."
"I... I am... I ... oh god. What did you see? "
"I saw you two...in your car and... I know about you two meeting up in that hotel."
"And?"'
"I followed you to the law firm you went to."
"I... Ishita I wanted to come clean believe me, I was just too lost, too confused before tonight. I was really... I had no other choice. "
"I understand."
He is confused when she says the last words.
"What do you understand?"
"She is the mother of your children after all Raman, your first love... I...I cannot give up Ruhi; I love her way too much for that. I will sign any papers only on this condition; you will not cut off Ruhi from my life. That is all I want from you."
Even despite her resolve to not show any weakness a tear escapes her eye at the last word, that she wipes off quickly.
He is perplexed at the turn of events and thoroughly confused at her statements.
"Huh? Papers? Condition? Ruhi? What are you even talking about Ishita? "
"I am just making your job easier Raman...I just hope things won't be messy and long."
"Okay you clearly are not making any sense to me."
"Why are you acting Raman? As I said I saw you two, go to the lawyers... I will not kick up a storm as long as you and Shagun have no problem that I keep in touch with Ruhi."
"Keep in touch with Ruhi? Why would you need to... what are you even saying and what does Shagun have to do with Ruhi? You are her mother, you have her custody Ishita."
"I will always be her mother, but I have her custody for now after... after you two get together that may be revoked."
"Get together? Wait a minute...just wait a bloody minute. You think I am getting back with Shagun?" He almost yells.
"Aren't you? You went to the lawyer too. I assume it must be about us... getting a divorce as well as its effects on Ruhi' custody after that."
As soon as she is done so shocked is he by her conclusions that he almost jumps off his chair in his haste, making the chair tumble down with the movement.
"Divorce... us getting a divorce? What are you even thinking? I am not divorcing you. Why would I do that? Are you out of your mind?"
"You still love Shagun that is why." She replies still seated on the chair.
"Oh my god you insane woman... you think I wanna get back with that woman? I will not want that ever in my life again. I would rather a truck run over me than that to happen. "
"Raman..."
She gets up to reproach him but stops herself at the last moment.
Closing the distance between them, he holds her arms and looks her in the eye. His face betrays his anger, dismay and shock all at once.
"You thought I was having an affair all these days? With Shagun of all women and... were ready for a divorce, without as much as a fight. What are you? What kind of a woman does that? How can any wife do that? How can you not put up a fight for your marriage huh? "
"Our marriage happened for Ruhi Raman, how can I forget that? You were hiding things from me... I assumed ... "
"Well you assumed wrong. God Ishita I thought you were smarter than that at least! How can you even think I would cheat on you? Do you really know so little of me by now? Do you really think I would ever do that to you? When I know what it feels like to... " He shakes his head at that.
"Shagun is the woman you once loved; she is the mother of your kids... I am just your wife on paper. If you are not getting back together, why were you hiding things Raman? Why did you go to a lawyer with her?"
"First thing first... I do not love Shagun anymore you thickhead. I will never again in my life love her. Next, I will not ever cheat on you or even divorce you no matter how much you drive me up a wall, I might strangle you one day but never divorce you. You are my wife and that will not change, not in this lifetime. I was hiding things from you and lying to you, I know... I was meeting Shagun because of the accident Ishita. I know it was wrong of me to do that but I... I was."
"What has Amma' accident got to do with all of this?"
He lets go of her arms and walks away from her, unable to meet her eyes he says,
"That day when you took Adi shopping, I saw that car again Ishita. It was at Ashok'."
She crosses the distance between them and turns him around holding his arm,
"That means we were right, Parmeet did Amma' accident?"
He shakes in head finally looking at her and bowing down his head, he holds both her hands in his, somehow seeking strength from her,
"Ishita what I am about to tell you... I do not know how to explain this. I am so ashamed of myself; I have been feeling so guilty in even facing you since then. That day Shagun said she did the accident, she begged me to not have her arrested and Adi came in, he pleaded with me to not take his mom away. My son cried and called me daddy after ages and I relented... I was trying to save her all these days."
"Shagun hit Amma."
"No..." He says the word and breaks down at last, sinking to his knees.
Watching her husband in the state, she is confused and lost, she gets on her knees and holds his face in her hands as she makes him look at her,
"Raman... Raman please look at me. What is wrong? If Parmeet and Shagun are innocent, then why are you so upset, what do you know? Who is the culprit Raman? Please tell me."
With quivering lips and tears in his eyes, he finally manages to reply to her in a choked voice,
"Adi... its Adi Ishita, he ran over Amma."
With the words out at last he breaks into tears holding on to her as he cries his heart out.
"He... I heard them talk today Shagun and Adi, when I went to pick her to meet a lawyer for the case. I managed to make him cough out the truth. My son... my own son, I could not believe my ears Ishita. That woman is ruining his life... and I, I wouldn't have learned of the truth if I hadn't heard them today."
She lets the news sink in, trying to process all that she learned and unlearned in a short span of few minutes. Her husband is not cheating on her, though he was lying to her. He was being deceived while deceiving her himself and last but not least that her mother was run over by her stepson.
She does not know what to say to him when he speaks up finally letting go of her.
"I didn't wanna lie to you Ishita but was influenced by Adi' tears; by Shagun stopping me. She said you won't understand since you aren't Adi' mother. I was lying to you, all of you. I was letting you down. All of you trusted me and I deceived all of you... I did it out of my love for Adi. I was not thinking about anyone but him... but when I learned that he is the culprit today I knew, I had to tell you the truth. I do not know what to do Ishita. I just cannot understand what to do. I cannot let my son become a criminal and I cannot punish him. I cannot hand him over to the cops, he is a kid after all and I cannot let him go scot-free too else it will set a bad example to him in the future. Today he did an accident and had no remorse, no guilt; tomorrow he may do worse."
"Raman... I do not know what to say right now. I will not lie I am upset with you for keeping things from me. I thought we were friends Raman, we had an honest relationship. I asked you to respect Shagun and yet when you met her you chose to lie to me. As for Adi... we will have to meet him."
"You want to meet Adi?"
"Yes and Shagun as well, she needs to understand that she is ruining Adi' future, his life by hiding his mistakes and allowing him to make them in the first place. That day when we went shopping Adi was carrying thirty thousand in cash Raman, how can a mother hand out that much cash to an 11 year old kid, not to mention if Adi was driving and he escaped so fast someone must have been with him. We would have to tackle this carefully. "
"What? Why did you not tell me this before? That woman, I ought to kill her. She is just ruining my Adi."
"Raman relax, getting angry with her won't help us. Remember you already have a restraining order when it comes to Adi, she can use that and create trouble for you."
"I don't care Ishita; a piece of paper cannot stop me from teaching my son what's right from wrong."
"No it cannot, but a piece of paper might help you."
"What do you mean?"
"Call up Neil tomorrow we would take him along to meet Shagun."
"Neil?"
"As our lawyer, we need to get Aditya to understand what he did - not just morally but legally as well - and for that Neil would be helpful also with him there we can always shut Shagun up. If she wants this case dropped she would have to do as we say."
"What are you thinking?"
"First thing getting that restraining order against you canceled and second getting Shagun to allow Adi to spend weekends with us. He needs guidance of the proper kind and asking for Adi' custody outright will not help us right now, not when Adi himself will not want it. However, if he sees us every weekend we can set him right and the first thing he would do on coming back is apologize to Amma and everyone else, even Romi who was nearly arrested because of him."
"Shagun won't agree to that Ishita."
"If she won't, well then she has already confessed her crime to you, like you said. One way or another she would have no option but to comply with us. That car and an eyewitness will ensure that she is trapped in her own scheme. Either she ends up in jail in which case you can take Adi' custody back legally and she loses him or she allows you visits and we take things from there."
He looks at her appraisingly as she gets up and is about to walk towards their room as he catches her hand.
"Ishita thank you. I don't know..."
"Save it Raman, just because I understand things doesn't mean I am in a forgiving mood."
"But..."
"There is no space for ifs and buts here Raman. You yourself said Shagun stopped you from telling me the truth and you listened to her. I am your wife Raman, even if I am not Adi' mom. And the decision of what we should or shouldn't share with each other should be taken only by the two of us, not by a third person - any third person, especially our exes Raman. How would you feel if one day I turn to Subbu for advice or comfort instead of you? Would you want him to interfere in our matters?"
He gets up to face her and is visibly rattled at the mention of her ex. Somehow he doesn't want to even think of Ishita seeking comfort or advice from another man.
"I am sorry Ishita... look I wasn't thinking..."
"That's the point isn't it Raman? You stopped thinking - about me, our marriage and what is right and wrong, even your kids Raman. You yelled at Ruhi. You, your blind love is as much damaging to Adi Raman as is Shagun' ego here. "
"Ishita..." He says her name in vain to stop her.
"Think about it Raman. Are you setting the right example here for your kids? "
With the last word, she leaves him standing alone in the hall as she enters their bedroom with only his deeds and thoughts for company along with the words she uttered.
Sitting on the sofa as he places his head on his hands, with his elbows resting on his knees Raman Kumar Bhalla realizes how much he has screwed up in the last few days - as a husband, a father, a son, a son-in-law and as a man. He knows he cannot change things now, but vows to learn from his mistakes.
"You showed me a way to deal with this problem Ishita but how will I win back your trust? How will I ever earn your forgiveness?"
He speaks aloud to himself in the empty room.
Edited by EkPaheli - 11 years ago
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