A Note from Zoya to Asad with a short reply from Asad :( - Page 11

Originally posted by: gossipgirlxoxo

Thanks a lot my fellow Fawad Khan friend !

Are you watching Numm ?

Originally posted by: ...Binish...

u r welcome friend.😊

No, I am not watching Numm bcz of its storyline(the feudalist issues). I don't like these type of stories but I hv watched all other serials of Fawad Khan.

My all time favorite Humsafar and Fawad Khan as Asher in it.😳 I just love Asher's character.😳😳

Have you watched Humsafar?

Humsafar, Zindagi Gulzaar hai... and Behadd ... and everything else in between 😉 The best thing I liked IN ZGH was that tea scene . OMG that was awesome

Originally posted by: ...Binish...

u r welcome friend.😊

No, I am not watching Numm bcz of its storyline(the feudalist issues). I don't like these type of stories but I hv watched all other serials of Fawad Khan.

My all time favorite Humsafar and Fawad Khan as Asher in it.😳 I just love Asher's character.😳😳

Have you watched Humsafar?

Those plays are never OTT.

Originally posted by: gossipgirlxoxo

Humsafar, Zindagi Gulzaar hai... and Behadd ... and everything else in between 😉 The best thing I liked IN ZGH was that tea scene . OMG that was awesome

Originally posted by: -ForeverYours-

Well I want you to know I'm not in any sort of position to critique a writer as anything other than myself. So my opinions are solely mine and when it comes to writing I refuse to be dishonest.

Criticism: The lipstick and mascara, it just seemed out of context with the feel of the writing in the letter. So did the long fingers, it disrupted the flow of the text as a whole and was irrelevant. The clarification of what was in his coffee was not needed either.

Now, for starters, I loved the story. The way you penned Zoya's indifferent and matter-of-fact tone drove the message home for me, each word and if I may, taunt in disguise, weaved itself into the broken heart of two lovers, especially hers. It had been broken to the point of almost no repair. Asad's silent retaliation--whose existence she will never be aware of yet whose emotions she was more than familiar with, broke my heart. But I guess he deserved it. Mrs. Ayaan Ahmed Khan was a mirror of her situation, thrown far and out of place. And she decided the pain of this blow must be felt, by him as well.

While we are still discussing writing, there was one quote that specifically stood out to me.

"So today I refuse to let you be my priority, for you have made me just an option."

I loved that quote. It was apt. She'd been forced to dive into blameless sorrow face first. It was extremely well written in terms the story, concept, emotions.

Execution. You've written the story out well. The emotions have been expressed and they can be felt when reading the text, that is a sign of success as a writer.

Minor things in formatting that don't matter much in terms of writing but would enhance the presentation, there is an irregular amount of spacing between punctuation. Sometimes the period and the last word have a space between them .And sometimes the first word of a sentence is touching the punctuation of last one. And the same things , go with the commas and exclamation points as well ! The all italics I'm assuming is a personal style attribute, but when you really want to emphasize something you won't be able to with the italics and will have to resort to bold font. Font color, try to keep it universal and dark within the shades of black maybe dark blue or grey. It just makes the writing look a lot more professional. (The parentheses between the text to aid the reader) is unnecessary as a writer, if they get it they do and if they don't they don't, you do not have to compromise with the professionalism of your writing for the sake of who's reading it. And while this was a honest piece of thought out writing 👏, smileys suit the comments better.

One last thing that really irritates me, when good writers use the script format. When characters converse in books, they are in the form of written dialogue. "Yes Amber indeed they are," Asad agreed. Now if this were a script for a play or movie,

Asad: It'd be written like this Amby ji. But since this is writing, it would stay true to its art.

I hope you see what I mean. My feedback is nothing but honesty and I honestly loved the piece. The intentions, both of the writing and mine, are pure.

-Shweta Ben

P.S. Ignore the fact that my comment is almost equivalent to the size of the OS if not not longer. When it matters, I go all out.

And I loved it reading it again. ❤️

QH in a nutshell. Simple, spare, true and honest. ⭐️

Originally posted by: notagain

And I loved it reading it again. ❤️

QH in a nutshell. Simple, spare, true and honest. ⭐️

And Today , I read it again.