Major-sa Welfare Association
Somewhere between Chandangarh, Birpur and IF, 26th Jan 2014.
A certain document apparently claimed to be a pre-nup has come to our attention, and as the well-wishers" of Major-sa, the Major-sa Welfare Association (MWA) has decided to respond to the same and place our demands on behalf of Major-sa.
Firstly, Major-sa objects to the said document being called a pre-nup as he hates all beautiful women and considers Paro only as his witness / suspect. It is suggested (not so politely ) by Majorsa that the document be hence forth referred to as the BONDAGE AGREEMENT.
1. Roti- MWA agrees to the Teen wakth ka khana for Paro but its impossible for Major-sa to cook any rotis that are not burnt owing to his own hotness- anything /anyone in his vicinity is usually on fire. Therefore its required of Paro baisa to overcome her fear of fire and do the cooking. Kindly note that this is likely to help the plunging TRPs. Any kind of help towards cure of the phobia including but not limited to climbing over sleeping Paro, soothing Shaants , hugs and the like shall ne whole heartedly provided by Major-sa.
P.S. In any event aloo-ki-sabzi shall be exclued from the diet.
2. Kapda- MWA agrees to the clothing clause but strongly recommends against the use of widows garments by Paro and in case she proceeds to do the same Major-sa shall not be responsible for fall in the TRPs.
3. Makaan- Major-sa requires that Paro reduce her futile attempts to escape from the Haveli-e-Jallad to no more than once a week as he has better things to do and has not joined BSD to chase Paro. Violation of this will result in further bondage for Paro.
Subclause to this-
MWA demands 2 way mirrors in Paro's room...as we have come to know recently paro baisa has a habit of trying to escape...so for her own well being... she needs constant surveillance by Majorsa.
4. TRPs- Major-sa refuses to comment on this as the said matters like kitchen politics, matkis and shedding of tears he has to remain silent for TRPs to rise. He has however agreed to shed his shirt once week towards the cause of raising the TRPs. The other clauses are required to be negotiated with the TRP family aka kakisa aka maasi.
5. Physical Proximity- Major-sa demands a step up in this - unlimited grabbing of the arms, unlimited eye sax, unlimited carrying in the arms as and when Major-sa wishes. If the said demands are not granted Majorsa shall be forced to resort to Laila.
Majorsa will keep his "gun" loaded all the time and take care of "protection".
When it comes to "it", Majorsa will not be affected by Paro's komal kaya and become "shaant" by any chance!
6. Laila- MWA would like to impress upon Paro and PWA that Major-sa has needs and that he is not a SP dikra to have unlimited control in the face of temptation.
P.S.- These 2 clause needs detailed negotiation which cannot be carried out publicly in view of the delicate sensibilities of the TRP aunties and the 9yr old roaming about here.
Closed door discussion of this clause had the following conclusions-
Originally posted by: napstermonster Addendum to the (PWA's) Laila Clause:
Thus, Major sa proposes, that Laila not waste her education, and start giving Paro bai sa the benefit of her years of training. Laila can sneak inside Jallad Mansion using her commando training, and teach Paro how to also go commando.
7. Education- Major-sa agrees to ensure the sax education for Paro but would like to remind every one that the same requires practical demonstration. The members of IF may take the theory classes thru e-coaching but practical classes shall be limited to Major-sa himself.
8. Bhai-sa clause- Paro shall be permitted to meet Aman bhaisa but only under the direct supervision of Major-sa and during the time specified and limited by him. This clause in non negotiable as Major-sa has a reputation to maintain as the resident Jallad.
9. The no recklessness clause- Major sa would like to once again remind himself and everyone that HE HAS NOT JOINED BSD TO PROTECT PARO but for the unlimited supply of bikes and jeeps to explode and men to kill, a chacha to taunt and an Aman to train. Additionally this shall violate the agreement already signed with Nautanki.
10. The Confession- MWA requires that Paro delay/refuse the confession of any kind (love or guilt) until and unless we are satisfied the physical proximity clause is fulfilled.
11. The maaa- clause - No unnecessary references to maa or Othello shall be made in front of the Major to ensure his mental fitness.
Subclause- Originally posted by: geetababyrads Major-Sa exhibit 'feelings of tenderness' towards Paro baisa as recommended by General Singh in dosage of 250grams 3 times a day minimum.
Major-sa is willing to attempt to humor PWA in this matter but shall not be responsible for the consequences of the same and is unwilling to give any guarantee of the same as its not in his blood!!
12. The accessories clause- MWA on behalf of Major-sa would like to add a list of accesories Major -sa needs.. This list shall be updated as and when Major-sa feels like it.
Originally posted by: JazzyMohd List of accessories n stuffs major sa needs all the time like
1.Rudraksh
2.Chlorofom
3.Rope
4.Dabar amla oil nd shampoo..
Aman shud b ready with all these stuffs 24/7
5.Never ending supply of bullets.
6. Never ending supply of Raybans (to be continued)
13. The Rukhmini clause-
Originally posted by: napstermonster The Rukhmini clause: Major sa promises to not buy a large can of Baygon/Raid/Mortein bug killer and zap that creepy blue-vampire butterfly next time he sees it if:
Paro bai sa will tell him exactly what magic song Birpur walis sing to sick camels and injured people to fix them instantly, that also keeps insects alive for so long.
Suggestions and negotiations between Paro Welfare Association and Major-sa Welfare Association are welcome.
For anyone who has not understood please refer this-
The pre-nuptial agreement (Updated)
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/rangrasiya/3896062/the-pre-nuptial-agreement-updated
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