Kool's commentary : Sep 17 PR - Page 7

Originally posted by: Kalapi

Btw, people do commit suicide'.because depression can be a very serious disease that needs to be treated with care'.I rather have a soft corner for these people'the disease is still untreatable and these people needs all the support they can get from people all around them'

Originally posted by: pp29

I have seen the movie actually with my mom and I loved it too actually. I guess if you take the middle path of separation and somehow Arjun does realize the gravity of the situation, I still think the foundation is pretty distorted for it to be like any other marriage. Sure you agreed to it because you were in love with some woman but if it also means trying to love the woman who struck the deal too (both are equally guilty), it is hard to look past that. Again when Arjun jumped into this he did not know that OVi brought this suggestion to the table and hence Purvi agreed. So I stil stand by that he did what he did for Purvi but he only later found out about how cold heartedly Ovi made the deal for him over her mother. If Purvi and Arjun get all the blame, why should OVi not be subjected to a little analysying of her brutal character ? It isn;t easy to surpass such things and move on. I am old school to about marriage but I am also flexible about it if it means binding 2 people who have no hopes together. Even if Arjun tries, this is no normal arranged marriage, this is a marriage based on deciet and it is usually very hard to over look that and go onto loving or even RESPECTING the other person.

Hi there dont mean to butt in but wanted to say something here..

Arjun had to know why Purvi @ the last minute b4 their wedding would force him to marry Ovi...He had to know that w/o a reason and just for mother's happiness Purvi would not come up with it..

As Ovi put the deal out same way he also accepted Purvi's deal..Both are at fault...They both need to accept the part they played in this dishonest deal of marriage and work on it...There is a possibility that they might see the part they played and both were not innocent as he blames it on Ovi..

Seperation is a good suggestion which allows them to do their own soul searching. If Purvi loved him so much why would her mother's happiness at the cost of their love would be more important to her? He might also see beneth the manipulation or deal Ovi still loves him like no one else...His obsession for Purvi is same as Ovi's so called obsession for Arjun himself..He might be able to put it all in perspective..

Asfar as depression is concerned, I am a psychologist by profession and I only know too well how the disease takes its course on a person. I also know the seriousness of being diagnosed with depression. However, I can guarantee that OVi was not depressed, it was a state of denial and noone in her family tried to help her through it.I have seen a ton of cases like these too where it is not depression, it is the patient not being able to accept a situation in their life and suicide is usually a result of that. Also, my sympathy is with her when Arjun unceremoniously broke up with her without giving her time, but to think that by blackmail and suicidal attempts if you achieve a marriage deal then you first need help with therapy and hence I do believe this marriage glorifies this whole aspect. I don't think either of them deserve each other but just because two people got married in some temple and ut sindoor and mangalsutra, this to be a lifelong committment without any soul in it is also wrong. And again, if thsi was a normal arranged marriage like before when the adults made this alliance without Purvi or OVi;s deal in between, I am sure Arjun and OVi would make a successfull married couple. But just being married to a person who is obviously in this relationship for all the wrong reasons (Arjun) and to someone who struck a deal for you like you could be bought (Ovi) this marriage would never work. Just my POV.

with due respect Personally it does not matter if you are psychologist by profession to make an assessment whether Ovi was depressed or not...Not to disrespect your profession at all...Not everyone is seeing her in denial alone...Denial also is part of depression when one thinks the way Ovi did..SO it is all subjective..Seeing someone's true suicide attempt as manipulation or blackmail...But you surely are entitled to your assessment and opinion...I simply disagree or have my own opinion on this 😃

But i will take your separation clause and see if the CV's plan it and if it takes shape the way you would suggest it to. 😊 IT would be atleast better than the current eye-locking with sister-in-law thatis going to happen for sure.

Originally posted by: Dabulls23

with due respect Personally it does not matter if you are psychologist by profession to make an assessment whether Ovi was depressed or not...Not to disrespect your profession at all...Not everyone is seeing her in denial alone...Denial also is part of depression when one thinks the way Ovi did..SO it is all subjective..Seeing someone's true suicide attempt as manipulation or blackmail...But you surely are entitled to your assessment and opinion...I simply disagree or have my own opinion on this 😃

No offense meant and post is with due respect..😳

Pooja, the psychologist, good to meet you…well, you call it denial, I will accept as you are the expert here, but still it is a mental state of where a subject lives in an alternate reality….that state at which Ovi was at, no one helped and the situation was further aggravated my none other than Archana and Sulo…I never said what Ovi did right, but the way I see it, her fault was less than the other 2 here. See to me, no one can come in between a couple if the couple let them in the first place…..and I for one that Ovi prove herself….I said somewhere love can melt stones, but that is some love indeed, so I want to see Ovi prove that she is indeed in love with Arjun. Besides, it is one difficult situation to be in love with someone without being loved back. See, if I were in this Ovi/Arun mess, I could rather be Arjun…it is great to be loved than loving someone without a return…this is the situation that Ovi has to work on…tough, don't you think??? So, yes Ovi has a lot to work on too…There was something else too, I wanted to say, but forgot…oh well…..

Yes, I think the middle path is best at the moment and yes, I wish that Cvs don't butcher Arjun's character anymore….

Originally posted by: pp29

I won;t take offense on that but yes I have seen too many depression cases TO BE ABLE TO make an assessment. However, denial is a part of depression but it is always accompanied by certain other behaviors that make up the criteria for diagnosing depression. Too many youngsetrs these days cannot cope with stress and try out suicidal attempts. ALL of those cases are not diagnosed as depression. OVi needed care and help and a lot of understanding, but depression has a direct link to the brain and the neurotransmitter system which gets disrupted. And by simply giving the child who is in denial what they want, depression doesn;t just GO AWAY. Ovi seems to clearly not have any behavior that shows that she simply went through a "serious disease"" without treatment. Diseases and their diagnoses or behaviors have a criteria and ofcourse everyone is different but it usually is not subjective when we work as psychologists making serious diagnoses on people's lives.

But yes, maybe you are right on the separation count. IF both have done wrong, who knows Arjun might realize that he was no saint either and maybe two wrongs could make a right.

Originally posted by: Kalapi

Pooja, the psychologist, good to meet you'well, you call it denial, I will accept as you are the expert here, but still it is a mental state of where a subject lives in an alternate reality'.that state at which Ovi was at, no one helped and the situation was further aggravated my none other than Archana and Sulo'I never said what Ovi did right, but the way I see it, her fault was less than the other 2 here. See to me, no one can come in between a couple if the couple let them in the first place'..and I for one that Ovi prove herself'.I said somewhere love can melt stones, but that is some love indeed, so I want to see Ovi prove that she is indeed in love with Arjun. Besides, it is one difficult situation to be in love with someone without being loved back. See, if I were in this Ovi/Arun mess, I could rather be Arjun'it is great to be loved than loving someone without a return'this is the situation that Ovi has to work on'tough, don't you think??? So, yes Ovi has a lot to work on too'There was something else too, I wanted to say, but forgot'oh well'..

Yes, I think the middle path is best at the moment and yes, I wish that Cvs don't butcher Arjun's character anymore'.

Originally posted by: pp29

Just a point, this is why I feel the parents had a huge role to play which they did not. ESP Manav. And the man (Arjun) who could be least bothered about you trying to kill yourself, I wonder why you would ask to her to try this marriage with him since it is pretty obvious as a friend he didnt care why push her into depression after this marriage ? I would as a parent keep my daughter away from a man who cares two hoots for her.

Yes, if I was the parent, I couldn't advise any of the girls to date 2 timing Arjun...if I was the mother who Ovi seeked for advise, I could have said dear, this love isn't worth it...but Ovi didn't ask for my guidance nor did she ask MAnav/Archana, right??? She got married without Manav's consent, so she needs to learn... now even if I tell Ovi to divorce, why would she, right...she didn't listen in the first place when she got married...besides, forcing her could result in more depression or denial again right...the same loop starts all over again...

I sympathize with people who have depression but for people who have a mind-block dealing with a break-up and go suicidal, that isn't qualified as depression, considering OVi had all the senses intact to go make deals, to talk to Archana, to practice hate speech against Purvi, to scheme with Punni, soft corner for such people is a little tough for me. Depression is usually very very serious and the person loses all ability to even get up out of bed and do anyting, much less talk and make sense. But for suicidal people I do think, that they definitely do neeed all the love and support and help possible to overcome it. And Ovi definitely lacked that.

Originally posted by: pp29

Nice to meet you too :) I know the past few posts back and forth have been very strong on getting the point across by both of us, however I should say no matter how strong my opinion may be, you did have me think it out twice before writing anything. And I am not married yet, so maybe my take could be a little inexperienced too. SO I hope you did not take offence to that. As far as calling me the psychologist, I hope that wasn;t sarcasm that I did not get. But I do agree, it came out wrong probably but I absolutely understand the mental situation of a person like OVi and I did say I have absolute sympathy for her. Her family did not stand by her and shoving her ex fiances wedding in her face is what really pushed her to the wall. I believe she still needs love and support and Arjun's behaviour might just push her into the well this time. She has the tough end of the situation no doubt. Like I said, my sympathy is with neither of the fools, all of them who have literally called this upon themselves.

Amen to your point about butchering any more characters now. Although making Ovi a self-sacrificing lamb like Archana or Purvi will be butchering her character too. She is atleast shown human, but I am sure, not for long. 😛

Originally posted by: Kalapi

Pooja🤗, there wasn't any sarcasm in my calling you a psychologist, not at all, it was rather appreciation of the profession and my eagerness to learn from anyone who care to share their professional experience. It was only today that I got to know another member's field and it sometimes amazes me to know that the faceless members we interact on a daily basis comes from different professions and in reality there are things that are more common between members than we know or even appreciate. This virtual world gives us a forum to interact that goes beyond age, sex, religion, culture, profession ...you just name it...in fact, I feel that I have made some friends in this forum that couldn't have had happened otherwise...rest assured, no mocking was involved only a deep appreciation of your profession and of course you opinion and even if those are/were different...without the diversity of opinion how lifeless and boring life could be or how few new things could have come about...see the interactions resulted in me suggesting a middle path of separation...love these debate...and if you ask my friends here, I had heated exchange with all of them at some point...in fact we do still now...that is what binds us too, in a sense, of course, there is always a underlined sense of deep respect we have for each other too...oh god..another long post...😃