Originally posted by: pp29
I must agree with you on the self-respect clause. I do think it is often subjective and more so in the case of these 3 very different people. My take on the marriage is a little different. I do agree it was not a mistake in the sense that 3 of them knew what they were doing ( Or so they seem to portray) and never tried to consult the elders (for their own weird reasons). But I feel, these 3 have just displayed their immaturity. And this immaturity is what is hampering either of them to see the situation clearly and act accordingly. It was thoughtless decision and now they are regretting it. Ovi may not right now, but will soon regret it. This is why I think you can never force them to follow the "right" way as we may want them to. You may teach them what is right vs. wrong but you getting them to "follow" it is in noone's hands. And considering how they lack any sensibility in handling relationships of any sort, much less marriage, this is definitly going to spelll doom for all 3. If Arjun was mature enough, he would not have taken the route in the first place and since he proved how immature and lovesick he is, he is not going to exactly make this mariage work either. Same goes for the other two. THis in itself is indicative of what disastrous lives they are going to follow. Plus, noone wants the parents to even interfere. How will they ever learn? Hence, I believe it best to get out of this marriage. I wrote this on someone else's post but this is my take :
they might be 18+ but then they are still too young to know the right choices they are making. I don't think except Arjun, Purvi or Ovi have seen examples of what a marriage should be like. Even for Arjun, he hasn;t seen a marriage work, only the "love" his dad has for his mom. Same for the other two, they simply don't understand the meaning of marriage and for good reason. Their parents haven't been exactly the most ideal marital couple to follow. Purvi has seen her mother pine for her husband but that still comes under the category of "love". HAs she seen a sucessful marriage or a husband-wife relationship or the importance of this whole institution? Neither of the kids have seen it. Ovi, has seen Damo-Savita who I guess are the worst example to follow and she has seen her father stay silent while his mother instigated the kids against her mother. After that kind of a messed up image about marriage, I am not surprised all 3 of them treated it like child;s play.
However, they are kids, made a rash, immature and drastic decision without consulting anyone. But what were the family members doing? Arjun and OVi came married, to seek blessings, they heard Arjun pronounce loud and clear that he did not wish to do this, and was almost forced into it, and instead of giving this whole situation time to sink in, the adults decided " why waste all the money of the reception, let;s make it Arjun-Ovi and go ahead with announcing to the world about this "new" development". How ridiculous. I would suspend any such further functions and resolve to get to the core of this problem. As Manav ( most importantly), I would ask OVi whether she is ready to lead a life of a one-way marriage with a man who is clearly in love with someone else and seeems to have no resolve of getting over it. Does she have the capacity to wait eternally for him to love her back? If he did not love her for 18 years that they were best friedns, is he going to love her just because he was forced into this marriage? And as DK ( most importantly again), I would sit Arjun down and ask him if he can truly forget Purvi and move on in life with Ovi.
As parents, they did nothing except Archana reprimanding her daughter and then going in for the usual K ladies hug with tears, Manav did nothing except show a little anger and DK just nonchalantly accepted the whole thing like it was nothing. Only the bride got exchanged guy, no big deal. And then they had the nerve to disregard everything and go ahead with the reception.
Yes, parents do not need to interfere, but when you have been such poor examples of marital life yourselves, the least you can do is teach your kids about the importance of living it out with one person and making it work. As a parent, I would consider this marriage a Vegas mistake and annull it right away before the grand reception even took place. I am not saying I would advice Purvi and Arjun to then tie the knot, I would just keep 3 of them away from each other for a long long time. For Arjun-Purvi to realize the meaning of true love and life-long companionship, for Ovi to understand mutual love and for her to get over Arjun in a healthy way and for Arjun to realize the importance of marriage for the right reasons. As parents they all simply failed to do their job and now are reduced to bystanders while their kids mess up their lives in irreparable ways. JUst my POV. but rather than leading miserable lives throughout, better to rectify something that you did, without thought. To force them to follow through with their decision is as good as subjecting them to lifelong misery because neither can really move on going by the state of mind they all have.
Well, immature Arjun and Ovi's marriage was fixed by their parents to begin with. So, I guess even if they were immature, the parents were not and before this mess up, they themselves agreed to the alliance. So, maybe it is good that Ovi did marry Arjun, you see. And now that Ovi/Arjun are married, see now, how all the parents are happy and relieved...Archana and Manav are pretty happy and rather not worried, wouldn't you say...see, I guess, the parents did decide for these 18+yrs old adult before and that marriage only happened...so, they aren't worried...😃
Well, as of Arjun/Purvi's love, eh, well, I mean the 'love' wasn't because the 'elders' wanted rather accepted, in fact, If I might add, rather there were issues too...Archana's challenge, Manav's unhappiness...so, even the love affair had it issues...not accepted wholeheartedly by the elders...so, mature people had issues, like happens in real life too...😃
About bad examples of parents that these kids have seen, oh well, even if Arjun/Purvi married, their life would be based off those bad examples too, so those bad examples are to me a bit redundant. Just because at the nick of time Arjun/Ovi married instead of Arjun/Purvi, it does mean it was due to all these bad examples😃...I mean for Arvi fans, any justification goes, but I don't really see the extrapolation. The marriage that happened was previously blessed by these very elders, unless you are saying to begin with the couple was wrong (in that case of course, these 3 could never marry😆, since the parents wouldn't change into better married couple at least not in this life😉...convoluted yes, but hey, my logic hold), Besides, marriage between best friends happens and it works too. Rather if friendship forms the basis of marriage, it is even better than love, and with time, love will happen...😃
As for Arjun's coming around and accepting, I don't see why not. See, Arjun to defended Ovi from goons, accepted himself as her boyfriend. Then, Arjun and Ovi's marriage was fixed. Arjun then fell in love with Purvi (this is probably what he did by himself😃). Then Archana challenged, he accepted. Marriage was fixed. Then Purvi forced him to marry Ovi, he accepted. Now he is married, with time he will accept himself as Ovi's hubby too...see how he accepts things...hahaha, that is what I see...😉
About the situation he married Ovi in. Well, it wasn't really created by Ovi, really😉. Rather Purvi did make him marry Ovi. He screams that he didn't want to, like a 5 yr who does things that parents don't want him to, and then tells, he didn't mean too. How long will this line of logic really run😃...he is actually behaving like a spoilt kid, not Ovi, right? She is rather enjoying being a pativrata bahu...And if you tell me the circumstances under which the marriage happened wasn't conducive, oh, well, true, wasn't the ideal one, but it wasn't bad either...I mean he wasn't kidnapped, blindfolded and married off, it could have happened in that way too😆😆😉...or now marrying Purvi could be (I know, you don't want that😃), who sold him off for someone else...at least Ovi loved him enough to put forward the 'deal', but, Purvi planned and executed it all through, rather Ovi came to the temple and just got married to, arranged by Purvi, wouldn't you say😃...she wasn't actively pursuing Purvi to make up her mind or use any other underhand tactics...right????
