Do u really think Archu is wrong? - Page 2

Originally posted by: prasad1991

yes ofcourse ... savita is biggest winner ... bcoz of her manav succeeded in life ... manav got so much wealth & success ... manav got peace in life ... his kids remained safe

& for any mother her sons success is her biggest victory ... right ?? !!!!!!!!

You can get all the money, success and everythinng. But it's not complete without love. Manav's love is Archana. He said he hate her..i don't think so. He still love her. Manav got all..but he is empty inside. Don't you think so?

Originally posted by: prasad1991

i hope shravani comes back ... & this time bashes & abuses archana ...

inspite of shravani being alive , sacchu had to leave motherless life ... all bcoz of archana

shravni shud ask her that wen she was no fit for the responsibilty ... then y she even took sacchu's responsibility

i have not seen this show in a long time actually ever since the divorce my interest ebbed

However I was active (very much so) when the triangle was happening so I am commenting on this

I have always held that all three were wrong in some degree for the triangle. Archana and Manav for leading Shravani on in an irresponsible and arguably emotionally cruel manner and Shravani for being masochistic enough to stay within the triangle at cost to her own future.

However, Shravani's decision to give her away her child to Savita was her own. Whether she did it out of a sense of guilt or indifference or self interest - that was never explained by CVs but she made the decision and gave up her child to Savita not Archana. Later on, when Archana and Manav had gone to speak to her she asked them to take care of Sachu - that did not inform or inspire her decision. As shown by the CVs it was the follow-up act.

I have never believed that it was Archana or Manav's responsibility to bring up Sachin as their son as they never stopped Shravani from leaving with the child or had any clue when they eloped that she had handed over the child to the Deshmukh family. Yes, taking care of the child as a nephew of their departed brother/ BIL was expected but not as their own child. The fact that living with them he grew up as their child not their nephew was to be expected.

I do not relate well to the character of Archana in general but on this issue (and each must be considered for its own merits and demerits) I do not believe that Shravani has the right to question anyone (not even Archana) about the upbringing of the child, except herself and Savita as this child transfer scheme was theirs. As a living mother one who has forsaken her child one does not have the right to question the approach or practices of a woman who has undertaken the care of the abandoned child. One has the obligation infact to show some gratitude for the fact that the child they abandoned is still alive, nourished and hopefully educated to whoever contributed to this child's development

I wanted to press the like button on Hope's post but again it is not working ... I agree that once you let go of a child , for whatever reason , you let go of your responsibility and then cannot question the person who is to take care of that child ..

tanya:

I agree with you that Archana has given up her rights and Manav is not obligated to promote her as a loving caring parent in front of the kids. I also agree that Manav cannot be held responsible for any impression of Archana that the kids have formed of their own accord.

I don't believe however that any parent should vilify the other parent (in their absence) if the other parent's fault has been emotional neglect. I am talking about neglect not abuse (emotional or physical). If Manav had cause to believe that his children were not safe or would have their lives destroyed under the care of his spouse then he has a right to protect them and if that protection is in the form of seperation then again it is his decision. though typically this is done through the courts and I think such was not the case with Archana and Manav and their marital seaeration. However, there are incidents that he could have sighted where his decision for sole custody would have found merit even in the courts.

In my opinion, when children are aware and mature enough to pose questions re custody or separation then they should be narrated situations factually not emotionally. At that point they are free to form their own opinions.

If Archana's children think of her as a neglectful parent that may not be solely because of the separation per say but because of the radio silence or non existent efforts from India since then. Especially once they found out that maternal care that they were entitled to as a birth right was showered abundantly on a stranger and still is.

Yes Hope , I agree with you that Archana's daughters can definitely question her for not getting in touch with them for the last 18 years and Archana should be ready with some answers ...

Originally posted by: manjulata

Do u really think Archu is wrong? But I dont think so. Arman savita ki vajah se split hue hein. Aur jahan tak baat hai varsha ki, yeh toh hum sabhi jante hein ki archu apne sabhi family members se kitena pyar karti hai. Yeh dusri baat hai ki log uske pyar ka fayeda uthate hein, ab chahe woh varsha ho ya savita. Wt is your opinion?

For me it is not a question of right or wrong as that is a subjective opinion unfortunately

For me the question is trust. If I were Manav could I have trusted Archana witht eh care and more important safety of my children. As the incidents were narrated in the updates, my answer would be no.

I am a parent and not an obsessive or overindulgent one at that. I have obligations towards my family, my work, my maika and my sasural and I try to balance all these obligations without compromising my primary obligation - my husband and my kids. I did not see this with Archana. she did not balance her obligation and prioritize her husband and kids and so I as Manav would have been constantly uncomfortable with her ability and more importantly her commitment to the care and security of my children. if I were Manav I would have seperated and taken sole custody of kids as well based on incidents narrated in the updates.

Originally posted by: Tanyaz

Yes Hope , I agree with you that Archana's daughters can definitely question her for not getting in touch with them for the last 18 years and Archana should be ready with some answers ...

If she does not have an answer then she should just let the girls do what they want to do ..If they don't want to keep in touch with her then thier decision has to be respected ..

However I am of two opinions if Archu should have just let the girls go ..If Manav had gone in court then I don't know if he had such clear chances of winning ..All Archana had to say was that he himself was giving up Soham in legal adoption and that too when no doctor had declared Varsha medically sane ..If that had happened then who knows the case would have looked very different but she didn't fight it then ...now it is too late ...

But In a way it is good that he took the children because he has so much money and is basically a good man who loves the girls ..The kind of life he has given her , Archana could have never been able to give them this life ...

Just like Shravani has come to terms with her decision and she just lets Savita and manav take care of Sachin ( and they are doing a good job it seems ) , Archana too has to just let Manav take care of the girls and not interfere in their life ...

I agree family dispute situations are not always predicatable and definitely depend on the temperament of the judge as much as they depend on the facts of the issue.

Manav is generally speaking more practical as an individual and a parent/ family man and I think that the situation actually worked out for the best for all the kids

Originally posted by: --Hope--

[Manav is generally speaking more practical as an individual and a parent/ family man and I think that the situation actually worked out for the best for all the kids

Originally posted by: --Hope--

i have not seen this show in a long time actually ever since the divorce my interest ebbed

However I was active (very much so) when the triangle was happening so I am commenting on this

I have always held that all three were wrong in some degree for the triangle. Archana and Manav for leading Shravani on in an irresponsible and arguably emotionally cruel manner and Shravani for being masochistic enough to stay within the triangle at cost to her own future.

However, Shravani's decision to give her away her child to Savita was her own. Whether she did it out of a sense of guilt or indifference or self interest - that was never explained by CVs but she made the decision and gave up her child to Savita not Archana. Later on, when Archana and Manav had gone to speak to her she asked them to take care of Sachu - that did not inform or inspire her decision. As shown by the CVs it was the follow-up act.

I have never believed that it was Archana or Manav's responsibility to bring up Sachin as their son as they never stopped Shravani from leaving with the child or had any clue when they eloped that she had handed over the child to the Deshmukh family. Yes, taking care of the child as a nephew of their departed brother/ BIL was expected but not as their own child. The fact that living with them he grew up as their child not their nephew was to be expected.

I do not relate well to the character of Archana in general but on this issue (and each must be considered for its own merits and demerits) I do not believe that Shravani has the right to question anyone (not even Archana) about the upbringing of the child, except herself and Savita as this child transfer scheme was theirs. As a living mother one who has forsaken her child one does not have the right to question the approach or practices of a woman who has undertaken the care of the abandoned child. One has the obligation infact to show some gratitude for the fact that the child they abandoned is still alive, nourished and hopefully educated to whoever contributed to this child's development

i found ur post quite balanced ... so i want to say something ... some peoples' posts are not even worth arguing

if I were Manav I would have seperated and taken sole custody of kids as well based on incidents narrated in the updates.