-*- Jokes AddA -*- - Page 4

A man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind :
" If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you. "
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him.
The man was astonished.
He went on, and after a while, as he was going to cross the road,
once again the voice shouted :
" Stop ! Stand still ! If you take one more step, a car will run over you, and you will die."
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came screeching around the corner, barely missing him.
The man asked. " Who are you ? "
" I am your guardian angel, " the voice answered.
" Oh, yeah ? " the man asked : " Then where the hell were you when I got married ?"

Thanks Sid for this Adda!

Imagine if Chatur Ramalingam aka Silencer's speech on Teacher's Day from the movie 3 Idiots were to be a real event. How would have the leading Hindi news channels of India reported it? Let's try to imagine the Breaking News headlines that would have been flashed by five leading Hindi news channels.

Starting with :

Zee News: a news channel that is hardly in news, maybe due to headlines like this?

In English Font : Shikshak Divas par Majakiya Mauhaul.

English Translation : Funny Atmosphere on Teacher's Day.

NDTV India: accused of trying too much with information and
analysis thrust down the throat of a helpless viewer.

In English Font : Chaatron ka girta Star, Kaun hai Jimmedaar ?

English Translation : Deteriorating Level of Students, Who's to be Blamed ?

Now

Star News: they keep you ahead (aapko rakhe aage) basically they
are hiding behind you, be alert and take care of your posterior.

In English Font : Silencer Ban Gaya Maamu, Sare aam Baj Gaya Band.

English Translation : Silencer becomes an Idiot, royally screwed in front of everyone.

Second Last :

Aaj Tak: sabse tez, they had started as a reliable 30-minutes daily news bulletin on Doordarshan, many people believe that their total news content even today is not more than 30-minutes in a day.

In English Font : Rancho ne kiya Chamatkar, Silencer ka Balaatkar.

English Translation : Rancho gets in Shape, Silencer gets Raped.

and finally

ladies and gentlemen, now presenting, the one and the only, India TV:

:drumroll:

In English Font : Aaj India TV pe hoga Live Balatkaar.

English Translation : Live Rape to happen today on India TV.

Doctor : I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr.Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)
Doctor : Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr.Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?
Doctor : Then why are you so happy?
Mr.Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!