*From To Sathish*-Sathish's new movie Info & Pics pg20! - Page 58

Hi All,

Its been so long that I visited IF... So busy days...
I just got few mins and dropped in to inform, that 'Im trying my best to be active in IF soon...
Now wanted to give an attendance in two threads.. VR and Sathish thread..
No serial, no updates, no discussion nothing for so long.. not sure, when this will end.. Waiting to join you all..

I know im missing a lot here.. but still have to balance work and life and unable to find time for IF..

Ppl, don't forget this poor little creature...

Happy Tamil New Year all..

Two wives go out for girls night.
Both got drunk, started walking home and had to pee.
They stopped at a cemetery but had nothing to wipe with.
One used her panties the other grabbed a wreath off a grave.
The next morning one husband called the other and said, "no more girls night out! my wife came back with no panties."

The other husband said, "you think that's bad? mine came back with a card in her crack that read "from all of us at the fire station... we'll never forget you"!!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN McCAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road!

HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me...

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interwesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, forw the firwst time, the heart warming storwy of how it experienced a serwious case of mowlting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dweam of cwossing the woad.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@*&^(C% ...reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. "I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."

"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"

"The guy was your doctor."

A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Central Park in New York and was astonished to see an old man, fishing rod in hand, fishing over a beautiful bed of lilies.

"Tch Tch!" said the passer-by to himself. "What a sad sight. That poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I'll see if I can help."

So the kind fellow walked up to the old man and asked, "What are you doing, my friend?"

"Fishin', sir."

"Fishin', eh? Well how would you like to come have a drink with me?"

The old man stood put his rod away and followed the kind stranger to the corner bar. He ordered a large glass of beer and a fine cigar.

His host, the kind fellow, felt good about helping the old man, and he asked, "Tell me, old friend, how many did you catch this morning?"

The old fellow took a long drag on the cigar, blew a careful smoke ring and replied, "You are the sixth today, sir!"

Final Exam

Four college friends were so confident that the
weekend before finals, they decided to go up to Dallas
and party with some friends up there. They had a
great time. However, after all the partying, they slept
all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Austin until
early Monday morning.

Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find
their professor after the final and explain to him why
they missed it.

They explained that they had gone to Dallas for the
weekend with the plan to come back and study but,
unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back,
didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long
time. As a result, they missed the final.

The Professor thought it over and then agreed they could
make up the final the following day. The guys were
elated and relieved.

They studied that night and went in the next day at the
time the professor had told them. He placed them in
separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet,
and told them to begin.

They looked at the first problem, worth 5 points. It was
something simple about free radical formation. "Cool,"
they thought at the same time, each one in his
separate room. "This is going to be easy."

Each finished the problem and then turned the page. On
the second page was written:

(For 95 points): Which tire?

This guy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in his tree. He looks in the phone book for a gorilla removal service until he finds one.

"Is it a boy or girl Gorilla?" the service guy asks. "Boy," is the man's response. "Oh yeah, I can do it. I'll be right there." An hour later the service guy shows up with a stick, a Chihuahua, a shotgun, and a pair of handcuffs. He then gives the man some instructions. "Now, I'm going to climb this tree and poke the gorilla with the stick until he falls.

When he does, the trained Chihuahua will bite the gorilla's testicles off. The gorilla will then cross his hands to protect himself and allow you to put the handcuffs on."

The man asks, "What do I do with the shotgun?"
"If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."

beneath the skin on my own

My skin is not my skin nor are my lips my own
My bones are not my bones nor are the eyes that see everything
My hands are not my hands and neither is the heart that beats

I am buried deep inside and in it beats a soul to a different beat
It beats faster and harder when i gaze at the blue sky
and it beats harder still when i gaze into the night sky filled with the winking diamonds


My breath is my breath but my lungs are not mine
My brain is not my brain and yet the thoughts are mine

Crawled,toddled and finally stood tottering
i stood finally strong on my own
but these legs are not my own

They belong to my mother and father
So i peer into the distance and scan the scenery
with eyes that are not my own

And a thought whispers what is it that you own
and what is it that you want to own
I said stop screaming into my ears
for they are not my own

So light of the day which is not my own
and the dark of the night which is not my own
and i have struggled to be own even when i am owned

And the whisper whispered and i felt my soul turn
and it breathed into my spirit
and now i know for that is my own
all that i have an will ever own

Even in the last breath with lungs
that are not my own
I will be my own in the darkness of my soul
a darkness i now call my own
For only in the darkness and solitude of your own
all the things that you dont own fade away
and you are naked in your spirit and the first breath
which i took with lungs that are not my own

so my own and the unknown i go forth
on legs that are not my own

BABY BABY

Baby Baby you said you would stay forever
But baby now you are gone and everything is hollow
Baby Baby you said you would love me until your last breath
But baby now i am on my last legs breathing my last breath

Baby Baby the house is empty and my soul emptier still
No thoughts,No emotions nothing but the still of my shadow
All i do is go from room to room in search and in vain
I stand before the mirror to see you in me
for all i was and am is you and because of you

Baby Baby the bedroom is now a shrine
Candle light,highlight your eyes and smile
But every step without you is a mile
And dying to be with you seems better than living without you

But Baby i am hanging on and going on
For you,ours and she is still a baby
She smiles like you,has eyes like yours
And her tender grasp reminds me of your touch

So Baby i will go on for our Baby
For it is your breath in her and your shadow in her
And sadly my shadow and reflection in her

So Baby watch over us for we need you more than ever
I stand by the window in the pink and oranges of the dawn
And every ray of light reaching me touching me is you
My Baby,My angel and so here i am waiting
Waiting,waiting and the waiting goes on

by satish