NiBir Story-My Hell My Heaven epilogue up - Page 42

I didn't see him after that, nor did he come or called, what surprised me was that he didn't even come during my delivery. I gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Taking him in my arms was the best moment, unknowingly tears stared flowing without stop. He was a symbol of our love, a part of him and a part of me though he looked exactly like him, same eyes, same texture same smile only had my nose. I desperately wanted him with me but he was not there, fear overtook me as i remember him saying that if he feels himself as a threat he will walk away himself. I asked mom to go and she him but she did not wanted to leave me alone in the hospital but after a lot of pleadings she agreed and went. I fell asleep after a while feeling tired and holding my little bundle of joy close to me. When i woke up mom was already there but not kabir, when i asked her where is he, she just handed me a envelope which had my name written on it in his hand writing. I opened it to first find legal documents stating that our house now belonged only to me and i have full authority over it, putting that aside i looked inside the envelope and saw a letter inside, i opened it in a hurry, fearing it to be what i thought it was. It was a letter by him to me i still remember it and still have it with me, it stated

Dear wifey

By the time u will get this letter i would have gone out of your life, far away, hey don't worry i won't harm myself or commit suicide i am just going away from u and our baby for betterment of everyone. I know u will hate me for this and not for what all i did to u, for the pains i made u go through...ahh u know i still don't know how u managed to live with me all these years, be my strength which u always will be on matter what. Nisha i don't know what to say but u know na somewhere we both knew that we will be heading towards this. I knew u would have never asked me to go away, u love me too much do that hai na. So i had to do something for u after all it can't be only u doing things for me and i nothing... but trust me i still have selfish motives behind this... i don't want my child to be sacred of me at any point of time. Nishu plz don't try to find me, promise me that you won't think it as the last favour i want from u.. but don't worry i will stay close, look out for you and my child and protect you at every step of ur new life and for that know u na i have to first protect u from me. Nishu i know u will understand everything i have written and even that which i am not able to write. At last thanks for coming in my life and making it a paradise, loved u yesterday, loved u today, will love u more every day.

Urs and forever urs

Kabir

Tears dwelled in my eyes as the letter ended, clutching it to my chest i cried hard, mom rushed and took me in his embrace, rubbing my back. My child woke up due to my cries i came out of mom's embrace and took him in my arms and hugged him with all the love i had, as he was i only one now i had, mom kept caressing my head "mom why did he left?" i asked her "i was surprised how he was still there now" came her reply i looked at her shocked "ur love made him a little selfish Nisha" "mom i didn't get you" "he went to stay alone knowing he can harm me but still stayed with you for two years only because his love for u made him selfish, his need for u made him selfish" "but i need him mom" "he will always be there Nisha and u know it" i nodded. She smiled "by the way thought of a name" she asked eyeing the baby "kabir" i said and kissed his forehead, he smiled and giggled hearing his name as a approval of it.

After discharge for hospital i came back to our house, my and kabir's, as i stepped in our room i was surprised to see all his things gone he had not left a single and now i had only the photos of our together as a remembrance. I went to the spare we had and my eyes dwelled with tears seeing the entire room was decorated with cartoon wallpapers and soft toys, it had a small cradle too, he did everything it showed how much he waited for the bay's arrival and then went away but i was happy that he had atleast taken it in his arms. He came to the hospital a day after i got the letter at night, i was not asleep but seeing him coming silently i knew he was realise that i was awake he will go away, he quietly walked towards the cradle and took the baby in his arms and played with him, he talking to him but due to the medicines affect i could not hear what he was saying but felt content seeing my kabir with little kabir. Lying him back on the cradle he walked towards me and kissed my forehead with utmost love and affection and walked out of the ward. That time i got to know that even if he is far he will always stay near.

I purchased the house where i was staying during my pregnancy and shifted there, i and mom decorated the baby's room exactly the way kabir had. We sold out our house, it did had memories of me and kabir which were precious for me but it also had memories of Arjun and my cries and fears, while this house had only happy memories of me and kabir together, him telling stories to me, cooking for me fulfilling every wish of mine. Mom stayed with me and chotu kabir for about 4-5 months and then went back to pune.

Everything got settled slowly, with each passing day kabir use to get more naughty. He was exact replica of kabir totally like him.

Today 4 years have passed and me and kabir are very happy together i loved him a lot and he too loved me back, a adorable baby he was. And for other kabir well he never failed to surprise me, every month i get a notification that he is still there, he even changed his job so did i and now didn't know where he works now. Every month he deposits money in the joint account we have which we made for saving money for our baby's future. We had decided had we will deposit half of our salaries every month and both of us and still doing it. Besides that he sends three gifts every year without help i.e. on my birthday, on our marriage anniversary and on kabir's birthday. I receive the gifts at my door step and still hope and one day i will see him too. As he never wanted our child to know everything about him i have told him that he is there and watching over us, protecting us, he does not ask further question at least now. And every year he is more happy to see the gift kabir gifts him on his birthday rather than mine, which makes me realise that he does look out for us and even watch us closely to know all likes and dislikes of his son. Every year on our anniversary i will receive my fav cake baked by him, i still remember how his food tastes and now that has even became chotu kabir's favourite, sometimes after receiving something from him i will stand at the entrance telling him that i still miss him and want him back, though i cannot see him everywhere but my heart always says that he is here watching ur reaction and i fell that hearing my love declaration he smiles and chuckles, hope i could even see his smile and the twinkle in his eyes at least for one more time.

I am happy today kitty but still there is a place that could be fill only by him and him.

bye kitty,need to pick kabir from school

Nisha