having watched the epi like countless number of times and reading ur post equal number of times too, I think I can finally jot down something, tho I kno it wont make justice to the adrenaline rushing thru me at this very moment ..
do I REALLY remember what happ during the holi thingy in coll after their last scene ?? nope, I really dont think I rem that .. and I echo u diya, does love like this really EXIST ??? If it does, then lucky are the ppl who get it, because when u have love like this, even ONE lifetime isnt sufficient to completely FEEL and appreciate it ..
in jus one freaking episode, and not even every min of it, SaJan made me experience soo many myriad of emotions that by the end of it I was left AWE STRUCK ..
the first jalebi scene - oh I thought he is soo CUTE .. and a stubborn moron, later one as the scene proceeded, my sweetness for him was replaced wit curiosity, jus what was he trying to do? SHE cared for his happiness .. enuf to WANT him to stay away from him, because she THOUGHT she wasnt worthy of him ever, and even more so now, because she is physically incomplete for him .. they play along wit their battle of wits, she trying to tel him to go and he, trying very much NOT to..she is trying .. really trying very hard, making all sorts of excuses, not changing his lifestyle for her..not ditching his friends for his love, which may go down as selfless in her defense, because she IS selfless .. and there's nothing else she can think of otherwise anyway, he very calmy and coolly wins thru all of them .. without ONCE making her feel as tho she is alone or surrounded wit self pity .. his dialogue "isiliye toh main tumse door jaata nahin chashmish, kahin agar tumhe meri jaroorat nahi padi, toh main akela reh jaunga!" to a third person, it wud seem jus a flirtatious line filled wit humour, but only THEY knew how much imp it held at tht very moment .. because it was ALL she needed to hear and at the same time, not wanting to hear too ..
finally, very calmly and in her style, she tells him "main tum par bojh nahin banna chahti..." if I had EVER wondered what was it that can ruffle the very cool and calm interior of samrat..because VERY rarely can he get angry .. then its only two things - either something that happens TO her ... or something that happens BECAUSE of her .. the moment he heard the word "bojh" it felt like a slap to him and yet, he KNEW where she was coming from .. sheeesh jus HOW can they b soo magical ?? hence getting angry ON her wasnt something he could even imagine in this circumstance too ...
but she is stubborn and if she is stubborn then he is stubborness personified, however, jus this once, he lets her won because that is for her too .. he knows that she wants to prove something and hence for once he lets her win .. and leaves from ther ...
whatever happened later on, has gotten me completely ZAPPED .. all I rem is sam telling the doc "aisi hi ek koshish chashmish ne jane anjane mein ki.." and then he promises her .. that THEY wil make her walk again, not she..not him .. THEY wil ..
and thus began his promise .. the bedroom scene was something that I stil feel undescribable .. because jus thinking abt it races my heartbeat to such an extent that I need to calm myself down to even make myself coherent ..
if I hav always seen and felt gunjan's love to b selfless and pure, then today, for the first time I experienced the selflessness and purity of sam's love for her ... he knows she is as fragile as a glass, but deep deep within, he knows that she has the sheer strength of steel and an equally strong determination and once he is able to reach THAT, then their battle is already almost won .. jus what were those dialogues ?? jus what were they ?? no..I dont think I wud call them love .. because then I wud b demeaning the very essence of that scene .. because thats the strength of their love and he knows that too..thats why he is soo able to attempt to make her angry .. provoke her until she jus HAS to give in .. because thats what she had always wanted to, even tho she never admitted it ..
yes, she had accepted her paralysis wit grace and diginity and a zeal to live life WITH it .. but what after? had she really thought whether she wud WANT to recover? she admired life's beauty but never hoped for much, jus like the person she is and has always been .. sam, however, was and has always been a dreamer .. and this time, it wasnt only HIS dreams.. but HERS too and more importantly, THEIRS .. and he wil do anything..anything in this world to protect them and make them REAL ..
and SHE knew later on what he was trying all along, ofcourse she had to.. they can READ each other's minds..jus for a few mins earlier sam was a bit too fast for her to figure him out .. later on, he let her figure him out tho .. and she did! but the determination that he had gotten inside her made her believe that its possible for her .. and she realised she HAD to give it a try ..
she tries, she is falling, he doesnt LET her .. he pushes her, encourages her .. until she finally falls down .. he picks her up and puts her on the bed .. satisfied that the first attempt went on pretty well .. but SHE has almost given up .. did he expect that? ofcourse he did, its chashmish! but thats why he IS ther for her ..
"main haar gayi samrat..main kabhi nahin chal paungi.."
"kabhi nahin chashmish..abhi nahin chal sakti.."
and thats WHY sam is the only one who completes her, her true SOULMATE .. because he doesnt give up on her..nor does he let HER given up on herself .. he teaches her to brace the storms that she is running away from and not only to brace them and face them, but also win over them so completely .. such that they can NEVER leave a scar behind .. it was the same wit talent parade..its the same now, tho now the feelings and determination have magnified thousand fold because its not jus for her this time .. its for THEM ..
Can I really add anything to this??? Not a word!!! All I can do is ... to all the bold parts ... 👏 😍 👏😍 👏 😍 👏
Book Talk
Anupamaa
Vasudha
