*Before you read...all you kids who should be writing school exams right now, don't read this, ok. This is a bit...mature.
For the rest of you, please judge according to your sensitivities. I don't often write adult content in an explicit way, but this story needed it at this point. I am not very good at it either, so excuse my indulgences.*
Chapter 25
His feet felt like they were made of lead by the time he stumbled to his room. He had left Madhu alone at the poolside, hoping his goodbye to her was cruel enough for her to have the strength she needed to survive, but only a few minutes later, RK knew he didn't have any strength left in himself to survive.
Making decisions was easy, but living with them...?
It takes monumental effort to build up the courage to face those moments in life - to stand up and announce a cruel lie, to pretend and to walk away. But the irony is, that moment consumes everything - all the energy, all the courage, all the strength - which makes the next moment, and the next and the next and the next moment almost impossible to survive. There is nothing left in the reserve.
And so, RK crumbled under the weight of his own decision. He had apologized to Madhu, but that was nearly not enough for what he had subjected upon her. He hated himself for having the power in the first place - power over his employees, power over Madhu's destiny. Why was it his decision to make? Why was the power so farcical that no matter what he did, he would be a monster?
You paid your dues. Nobody is accusing you of anything. Madhu had said.
She didn't blame him, strangely enough. But he did. He blamed himself for everything. Two months, give or take -that's how long they believed it would take for all the legal proceedings to be over. At this point, it didn't seem likely to him that he would be even able to survive two minutes once Madhu wasn't there. How he was going to survive two months was anybody's guess, especially because he would know very well what would happen to Madhu in the interim. And because he would know he was the one responsible.
I don't care anyway he had muttered to Madhu as he walked away from her. But that wasn't true. He cared. A lot. But why?
RK dragged himself to the bed and stared at the ceiling, exhausted with the battle inside him. Why did Madhu matter so much? Why couldn't he let go? The debate raged.
She saved me from hell...
...I never asked her to do anything!
She is an innocent pure soul...
...Yes, but she was a call girl when I met her. I didn't send her there.
How can I send her back?!!
...if I don't, how many families would end up homeless and how many little girls would end up like Madhu?
She would break. She deserves better. She trusted me...
...She is strong. Besides, I never promised her anything.
She cares for me. She didn't have to!!!
...I care for her too. I don't know when or how, but I care for her. I trust her even though I thought I couldn't trust anyone.
Would I be able to see her being touched, being abused by other men???
...No! But what can I do...I will bring her back as soon as I can.
She would never want to come back to me after this...
...Maybe not. But I can set her free. Away from Tony. Away from that hell. She can build her life.
But I'd never have her...
...Perhaps I don't deserve her. Perhaps I never did. Why do I want her so much?
I don't want her, I need her. I don't think I can live without her...
Everyone else in my life left and I still survived. Why not her?
What's so special about you Madhu? Rishabh's heart pled.
As if in response, the door connecting RK's room to Madhu's clipped open. Rishabh turned his head and saw Madhu standing there, at the door, still in the black sari. The light from Madhu's room shone in to reduce the darkness in Rishabh's, but it wasn't enough for him to clearly be able to see the expression on Madhu's face. Yet, just the sight of her leaning on the door, four feet away, was enough to return the oxygen to RK's lungs. Suddenly, he found he could breathe just because he could see her. Maybe that's why she was special.
Rishabh got up but stands immobile as Madhu walks three steps towards him, now standing mere inches away.
"Madhu..."he whispers. She shuts her eyes for a few seconds in response. He struggles to read her face - she is saying so much, yet nothing at all. Time slows down.
Madhu opens her eyes and lifts her hand upto Rishabh's face. Gently, her fingers caress his cheek. They move smoothly over to his forehead, her touch light and feathery. Rishabh shuts his eyes as he feels her fingers move downwards. His eyes, his nose, his lips. Her fingers rest on his chin and her thumb lightly moves over his lips. Rishabh's heart explodes as endorphins rush through his body and his eyes snap open.
He begins to say something but is shut for good when Madhu takes a gentle step forward and presses her lips on his. The kiss starts soft, gentle. Madhu's lips grab Rishabh's lower lip and suck on it. She goes up on her toes as she tilts her face and gently takes both of Rishabh's lips in her mouth, drinking on them. She leans further in and one of her hands grabs Rishabh's nape. He wraps his arms around her, coaxing her to let her weight fall on him. With her other hand, Madhu grabs Rishabh's hair and pushes him closer. A groan escapes his mouth and Madhu pushes her tongue inside, putting every sense in Rishabh's body on fire. He writhes in gentle pain as the dams inside him start to break one by one and all the confusion, agony and guilt is flooded over in a wave of unnamed emotion. He has never been kissed like this before.
His tongue meets Madhu's and they mate in symphony, hungry to devour each other's pain and in a matter of seconds the intensity multiplies. Madhu presses herself closer and brings both her hands on Rishabh's face, who in turn tightens his grip on her. His hands find her bare back and the softness of her body against his provokes a need so wild that any distance becomes intolerable. Madhu's feet are in the air, her weight entirely on Rishabh as she deepens the kiss another level. Their chests heave together in tandem and their breaths shorten. A tear escapes Rishabh's eye and Madhu pulls away from the kiss - though only a few centimeters. She wipes away the tear, then takes a step back to find her feet on the ground. Rishabh is unwilling to let her step back from the embrace, but she gently tugs at her arm and makes him sit on the bed.
"Ma..." he begins to say but she kneels down next to him and puts her fingers on the lips.
"Just one time" her lip quivers as she whispers. Tears leak freely through her eyes, but Madhu doesn't care to wipe them. Her eyes have just one emotion, one intense emotion which is the answer to every question Rishabh ever had. He pulls her to himself in another soul-stirring kiss but lets her take the lead. Gently, she pushes him on his back and climbs on top on him as he lies down. Her sari falls off her shoulder as she hovers over him. With an unexplained urgency she starts kissing him all over his face, her pecks short yet intense. A sigh escapes Rishabh as she licks and bites his right earlobe. His hands find the dori of her blouse, but constantly shiver as she maintains her sweet torture on that little spot just below his ears, then on his chin, then on his lips and then on his neck.
She needs him. She owns him.
Aa paas aa...sanam
Saha na jaye duriyon ka gham
Tujhe hai kasam
Her hands are more efficient than his as she starts unbuttoning his shirt, but eventually his hands win the race and the doris come undone. In a few swift movements, his upper half is bared while she's only in her black lace bra, her sari semi-stuck to her petticoat. Before he can move to remove her bra, she has him nailed down under her in a fresh assault on his body. She kisses him at his midriff and licks his abs before quickly moving upwards. She bites his nipples and scratches his arms, but Rishabh only feels pleasure as he pulls her up and slams his lips on hers. She bites his lips in response to that force, making it clear to him that tonight she's there to give, not receive, and soon his lips begin to bleed. Uncaring, she moves down again, this time settling on his chest, near his heart where she sucks and bites with an intensity that's sure to leave many hickeys. His hands meanwhile, have finally succeeded in unclasping her bra and begin to move in light circles over her smooth back. Every inch of him needs her, but there's nothing new about that. He has known that every night for the last 15 weeks. Tonight, however, for the first time he feels truly needed and he realizes he needs that more than anything else.
He needs to be needed. He needs her passion to flow unrestrained - maybe, that's the only thing that can heal them both.
Madhu squirms and writhes in pleasure at the assault of his fingers on her back. She pulls away and sits up. The pool of her sari and underskirt are discarded before she throws her leg across and sits on his stomach. Her bra has been dangling by the straps and she mercilessly throws it apart. She moves a few inches down until she's sitting directly above his throbbing erection, still trapped in his jeans and boxers. She rubs against him, closing her eyes for a second to let her body relish the need. He's pulling her upwards towards him, but she resists and instead bends to let her tongue play with his belly button while her fingers are busy unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans. His restrained member springs a bit with the release and she lets it rub against her dripping wet panty, knowing fully well how crazy it is driving Rishabh. The tips of her nipples touch against his bare chest and he can't hold off any longer. He has avoided overpowering her thus far, but now he uses all his force and drags her up back towards his mouth. She does it one better though, and instead of letting her lips collide with his thirsty ones, she lets them rest on her breast by pushing forward. His tongue finds the left nipple and he immediately starts sucking on it. She brings his left hand onto her right breast and lets him fondle away as she shuts her eyes tight. She needs to remember this.
He moves from one breast to another for a few minutes and she lets him suckle until she can take it no more and she moves downward again, bringing his lips back to hers. They're locked in passion as he rolls her over and she falls on his back. She watches as RK stands up and removes his remaining clothing. He lunges forward to remove her underwear, but she holds his hand and instead pulls him closer, sitting up. She digs her nails in his ass and takes her lips to his throbbing erection, kissing its head. It's hard to say this is the same woman who knew nothing of sex before she was initiated to it in the most horrifying manner a few months again. It is hard to say this is the same woman who had never initiated anything more than a simple kiss in all the nights she had shared with Rishabh. She had always been the responsive follower, the obedient servant but tonight she is the master. Tonight she is bold. And tonight she wants to get anything and everything she had ever wanted or was ever likely to want or need.
"Madhu" Rishabh moans as Madhu's tongue traces the length of his erection sending sparks flying all over his body. One of her hands grabbed his balls as RK grabs Madhu's hair in a desperate bid to retain some control.
"Just one time" Madhu repeats as she dug her fingers harder in Rishabh's butt and swallows his dick whole, making him gasp aloud. She plays with him for another couple of minutes before Rishabh pulls her up to his full height and slams his mouth on hers. He pulls down her underwear and lifts her up in his arms. She wraps his legs around him as their kiss turned into a whole different thing.
It was now the words they had never spoken to each other. It was now the intense longing they both shared but hadn't ever labeled. It was now the fear they both shared of a future too bleak to be livable. It was now the anger that they both had restrained against their fate. It was now the unsaid plea their hearts made to one another of never letting the other leave them alone and go away.
There were no barriers left anymore.
Kal ki kisko khabar hai
Bas is lamhe ko mujhe to hai jeena
Tera kaisa asar hai
Tere bina to lage dil kahin na
They both fall back on the bed another time and every restraint is lost. They match each other with the intensity with which they hands explore, their finger scratch, their teeth bite and their lips kiss. They match each other with the intensity of their tears as they both cry soundlessly, having allowed their emotions to pour out. Madhu feels Rishabh kiss every inch of her body and she cries because she is scared she cannot focus hard enough to remember every second of this. Rishabh feels Madhu touch every inch of his body and cries because he has never felt so worthy, so complete before. Neither stops the other from crying because they both are now painfully aware of the one fact - neither is ready to let the other go, yet time is advancing and is soon going to stand between them and separate them for good.
Madhu feels Rishabh kiss her inner thigh as he gently fingers her wetness and she pushes him in a sudden movement so he flips over and Madhu is on top of him. She groans as their bodies join and Rishabh supports her hips as she gently rocks over him, her eyes closed.
Just for tonight, just for this one time, every nerve in her body is free to feel. Pain and helplessness. Betrayal and anger. Protection and care. Compassion. Desire. Love.
Just for tonight, just for this one time, she is nobody's mistress but her own. She is nobody's obligation, nobody's burden. She isn't to be pitied, or humiliated. She is no object. She is a person. A complete individual. Just Madhu.
She falls over him and Rishabh hugs her tight as they continue to move together in a frantic rhythm. Her tears are reduced to mere sobs, but in the warmth of her chest she feels completed. Joint by pain and no longer alone, Madhu lets go as her body convulses in the first rhythms of pleasure. Rishabh flips her over again and drinks from her parched throat as their heart beats race in unison. He envelopes her entirely under him until they are one entity. Rishabh-Madhubala. Rishbala.
He enters her again, lying flat over her and moved so slowly that breaks the last of her resolve. She is broken, she is vulnerable and she is nothing but a million pieces of agony hoping that she would stop breathing and the misery would be over somewhere between these long, gentle strokes.
"Rishabh" her lips let go and she feels him come inside her, their bodies shaking together in a violent union. He kisses her eyes and drinks her tears as he falls to her side and pulls her tight in his arms, their legs intertwined.
"Shh..." he says. They have both suffered too much. She puts her hand on his chest and slips into slumber. There's nothing left to give.
Na tod pyaar ka haseen bharam
Tujhe hai kasam
Aa paas aa...sanam
Rishabh though holds Madhu tighter than ever as his breath starts to normalize. As the tremors of the orgasm subside, fresh tremors of pain rock him and he cries bitterly for everything he has ever lost, every wrong he ever committed, every second when he hurt his Madhu knowingly and unknowingly. Until there are no injuries left unwept for.
**********************
Rishabh woke up three hours later exactly how he had slept, with Madhu tightly wrapped in his arms. He gently pulls back and smiles on seeing his sleeping angel. He kisses her lightly on the forehead.
"I love you Madhu" he says aloud and then smiles because with those words every question, every confusion, every dilemma in his heart has now faded into oblivion. In face of the force of their shared passion and their shared pain, nothing else had survived the night.
Too many times, Madhu had left him torn and perplexed. Too many times, his mind, his logic or the memories of his pain had led a war inside him trying to fight what his heart or his body would tell him. Too many times, he had wondered and questioned because he had been too busy rationalizing. Too many times, his mind struggled between the images of a laughing Madhu, a broken Madhu and a cold Madhu, a call girl Madhu.
But now, he was no longer afraid. There were no questions, no doubts. He knew. His soul knew. He didn't need any facts. He didn't worry about how Madhu ended up in prostitution because he knew she didn't belong there. She was a pure, innocent, lovable soul who deserved all the joy in the world. That was that. He didn't need any more evidence. He loved her for her soul, for the beautiful person she was. He trusted her with his life. Even his own past and his history of betrayal didn't scare him. He didn't need any defenses to hold back from her. It didn't matter where she came from, whether she ever had an agenda, whether she was trustworthy. It didn't matter if someone else had touched her before. It didn't matter what the world would think of their relationship. There were no judgments necessary or relevant. There was no baggage, no past that could change his mind. Just the truth.
Rishabh loved Madhu.
It was pure, unconditional, unshakable love that didn't depend on circumstance or pity. It didn't originate out of lust and attraction, it didn't reveal itself in flowers and rituals. It didn't even depend on her loving him back or her staying with him forever. It was love at its very unadulterated core.
Love without expectations. Love without boundaries.
"I love you Madhu."Rishabh repeats "Not just one time. Every time. Forever"
He kisses her again before silently vowing to protect her from the world, whatever the cost maybe. He'd be damned if he let another man touch his Madhu. He'd be damned if she got any more pain than she had already suffered.
"I am not letting you go." Rishabh mutters as he gets out of bed. He covers Madhu comfortably with blankets, then kisses her one final time before getting dressed and leaving the room. He still had 14 hours. He would die before he loses his love to someone's deceit. He would die before he lets her walk into that hell for even a second.
If destiny wanted to separate them now, she would have to play dirty.
Edited by teekay - 10 years ago