Well, I think it is pretty much confirmed Tanya will be dying... so here is something I jotted down to understand her ... (i.e I am guess she is not going to be murdered, but instead accept death herself)....
All my life I have been a replacement. A replacement for a lover, a replacement for a mother, and a replacement for a wife. Every time we touched, I knew he thought of her. Every time we spoke I knew he yearned for her voice. Every time he smiled, I knew he remembered her. She was my best friend, and all I wanted to do was help. I didn't know helping someone would one day make me so helpless. Without knowing I fell in love, without knowing I started dreaming of him. Without knowing I started to live in a world which was not mine.
Time passed and dust settled on those old memories making me forget that all this was an illusion, nothing belonged to me. Not this house, nor my husband, nor my daughter and not even my own heart. Day by day the web of dreams, illusion, and fantasy spread wider and wider, taking me in deeper and deeper. Then she walked into our lives once again, bringing with her a new gush of wind, blowing away all the dust, all the webs. I started to see the love in his eyes again, the slight smile dancing on his lips and a new found joy in his life. I tired hard to believe it was all for me. I tried hard to fight back the wind and capture the tiny specks of dust that once helped me forget everything. But each time I opened my palm it was empty, just like my life and his eyes when he looked at me.
I was a replacement and that was the only truth of my life. Always came second. The second wife, the second lover, the second mother. It was time to change it all. It was time to not be a replacement any more … Embrace me death, embrace me as your first love and take me as your own. In death I will not be replaced, in death I will come before her.
Arjun
