AshNi Bas AshNi..Story So Far..NO COMMENTS PLEASE - Page 10

It had been three days since nidhi came home, the bleeding had nearly stopped, she would talk to nishu...feed him ,put him to sleep...she herself slept in ashutosh's arms...now qite peacefully..though the wet patch on his teeshirt always told ashutosh that she had silently wept...ashutosh had not tried to make her break down, he wanted to give her space ...to reclaim herself...in the morning while nishu slept ,dr ashutosh d take nidhi out into the lawn where baba n armaan would be waiting n they all had tea together...she d sometimes smile at armaan's jokes...heeraman kaka had returned..shocked at the tragedy n even more shocked to see nidhi's frail self...nidhi had lost 7 kgs

One morning as the family sat for breakfast,n nidhi was applying butter on ashutosh's toast,feeding nishu poha n making him sip the chocolate milk..baba smiled as nidhi had worn a churidar kurta first time after she had returned...ashutosh smiled too...but as she fed nishu, her kurta slipped from her shoulder...exposing her bare shoulder, armaan who was sitting opposite just lowered his eyes...n nudged ashutosh who was reading the paper...ashutosh looked up...observed n went up to put his hand on nidhi's bare shoulder...nidhi adjusted the kurta..as baba looked at ashu n then said"ashu nidhike liye naye kapde khareed de...uske size ke..."ashutosh smiled n looked at nidhi"yes nidhi..aaj shaam ko shopping chalenge...yeh kurte dheele ho gaye hain..."shopping ..reminded nidhi of the times when she d stand and gaze at the pink dresses, barbies...shoes...n then when she n ashu had bought a pretty pink...she didnt want to go shopping...she said,her eyes still lowered"baba ke ghar hain mere purane kapde...wohi le aaoongi...fit honge...shadi se pehle to dubli thi mai..."ashutosh remembered the slim nidhi...fresh as a flower n colourful n naughty as a butterfly,...after marriage...living eith him...she had begun to grow into a woman...n after nishu's birth...she was on the plump side...but today..she sat v thin frail..n jaded...ashu was brought out of his thoughts by baba saying"puraane kyun..naye le...'"ashu looked at baba...n baba understood..no words were needed in this relationship,.."baba nidhibka idea achcha hai, change bhi ho jaayega uska...nishu aur maxi bhi chale jayenge...shaam ko waapas le aaoonga..."baba n armaan both smiled in agreement, as nidhi called maxi to pack a few things, dr ashutosh put nidhi's medicines for the day in an envelope ...n nidhi came out with her purse n cell, nishu looking radiant in his maroon tees n grey shorts...his shoes were lighted as he jumped...baba patted nidhi , trying to make her smile"samdhanji se kehna...aayenge khane pe ekdin...woh to bulati nahi"!!nidhi gave a weak smile as armaan made her sit in the car..n said"nidhi shaam ko aajaana...mera mann nahi lagega tere aur nishu ke bina..."nidhi looked at armaan...making nishu hold his hand...ashutosh drove off...
Baba dialled col verma.."hullo colonel..nidhi aa rahi hai tumhare yahan..kuch kapde lena chahti thi apne...aur change bhi ho jaayega...dhyaan rakhna colonel...kaafi naazuk daur hai yeh..."col verma answeted"aap chinta nahi kariye dr mathur...mai to kehta hoon do chaar din yehin rehne deejiye...shyama bhabhi hain...bua hain..mann behal jayega"baba shook his head"na na colonel...jo security..usse yahaan apne ghar mei..ashu ke saath milti hai..woh kahi nahi mil sakti..shaam ko ashu le aayega waapas...bus din bhar hai...colonel khayal rakhna meri nidhi ka"col verma could feel dr mathur choking with emotions ...as he put the phone down ...n shouted"bua...chote sarkaar...nidhi aa rahi hai..."

As dr ashutosh stopped the car, he looked at nidhi..lost in thoughts..before he could say anything, nishu ran out to col verma,as dadibua n shyama aunty hurried behind"nana,,,mai aa yaaa"ashutosh helped nidhi down n corrected nishu"hey nishu naanaji kehte hain...ok'??"ok papa..."n nishu cuddled to col verma as maxi touched every body's feet n went in to arrange nidhi's room...ashutosh made nidhi sit on the sofa...as sarkaar came in"beebiji..leejiye aapki adrak wali chai"...nidhi took a cup...ashutosh too, but as everyone fussed over nishu..ashutosh didnt let his gaze move away from nidhi..he observed her fingers trembling...she d have dropped the cup..n probably burnt herself had dr ashutosh not covered her frail trembling hand with his large firm one...holding the cup...he pulled a stool..as everyone looked, took the cup from nidhi n sat in front of her...blowing his breath into the tea to cool it...n then made nidhi sip...col verma wiped tears from his eyes...such sublime love...dr ashutosh got up n gulped his tea, handed over nidhi's medicines to col verma"plz lunch ke baad de deejiyega" col verma asked ashutosh"uska mann ho to bahar le..."ashutosh smiled"zuroor...aapki beti hai..bas dhyaan rakhiyega..khoi khoi rehti hai..."n then he called nidhi...as col verma came to get nishu"chalo papa ko bye bolo"nidhi walked slowly "jee"??ashutosh took out his wallet n put about 7 thousand rs n told nidhi"rakh lo...purse mei...credit card chahiye..."??trying to bring back the memory of her shopping sprees...nidhi shook her head"na..yeh bhi kya karoongi..."??ashu held her hand"agar colonel verma bahar le jaayen..kuch mann kare to..."??nidhi didnt argue ..just held the notes..as nishu ran n kissed a kneeling ashu..."papa..shaam .."n ashutosh tousled his hair n said"yes , shaam ko ghar chalenge..aur nanaji ko trouble nahi karna ..."ashutosh drove off..giving nidhi a lingering look...as nishu pulled cv inside...
Dadibua opened nidhi's wardrobe, taking out the kurtas...nidhi tried a few ...they fitted her..infact were a trifle lose..nidhi packed 6 kurtas...as shyama aunty came in with aloo tikki chaat"le nidhi dekh..maine tere liye banaai hai..."nidhi sat..as shyama held her hand...watching her as she nibbled..."nidhi..beta zindagi me mausam aate jaate rehte hain...humesha ek rang nahi rehta...dekhna tu..sab theek ho jaayega..aur dekh nishu ko..usse teri ziroorat hai...aur dr ashutosh ko...kitna khayal rakhte hain...aakhir beta taqleef to unhe bhi hogi na"??nidhi kept looking at her reflection in the dressing table...zindagi ke mausam...yes autumn it was...will spring ever come...???col verma dialled dr mathur"dr mathur nidhi theek hai...chinta nahi kariye aap..aur dr mathur aapse kuc kehna chahta tha..."baba said"haan kaho colonel"??"jee aapne bilkul sahi kaha tha...ki zindagi ke khatarnak modon per dr ashutosh nidhi ko sambhalenge..uske friend philosopher guide honge...you were right..so right...ashutosh jaisa daamaad to mujhe chaand sooraj leke bhi dhoondne se nahi milta..."
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At kgh,ashutosh was coming out of his surgery, as he took off his gown n changed, he remembered the various occassions when he n nidhi had changed here...how once during their separation ,her mangalsutra had got stuck in her hair...n he had helped her...coping with memories dr ashutosh returned to his cabin,...there was a knock...n in walked dr megha, a cup of tea in her hand..ashutosh frowned..megha smiled"sir..aapko chai chahiye hoti hai na...surgery ke baad...so aapke liye...kuch aur laaoon kya"??said megha, her fingers running thru her hair...dr ashutosh measured her from top to bottom ..n said"dr megha...jab mujhe zuroorat hogi , mai chai mangwa loonga canteen se...you dont have to bother...now will you plz leave with this tea...now"and a smiling megha left...dr priyanka entered to discuss the cases, n when they were finished, she asked in a concerned voice "sir nidhi kaisi hai ab"??dr ashutosh ran his hands on his beard..."better hai...per ab bhi bahut quiet hai..."priyanka stood ..n added"sir...pehle nidhi kitni shararti thi...pata nahi zindagi ne uske saath yeh kyun kiya...but aap chinta nahi kariye..she will come out of it...she will"n dr priyanka withdrew...as dr ashutosh was lost in memories once again...priyanka's wedding it was..when he had first been irritated by n then fallen hopelessly in love with nidhi...how could he ever forget her enjoying the rain...n telling him in wide eyed innocence"umr 24 ho ya42 kya farq padta hai..."n he had let his floodgates open ...soaking in the rain..."sir...lunch kahaan lenge"??ashutosh looked around..it was janki bai ...he looked at his watch..2p.m."thank you. Canteen me kha loonga"as he got up...he wondered if nidhi had eaten...he dialled her cell...she recd"jee..."ashu replied"sirf jee..."??nidhi asked awkwardly "kuch kaam tha"??ashu smiled"kyun tumhe bina kaam je phone nahi kar sakta...nidhi khana khaya tumne"??"jee ..."and then after a pause.."aur aapne"??"ab khane jaa raha hoon...shaam ko 7 baje aa jaaoonga..."ashu put the cell in his pocket n walked to the canteen,nearly all drs were there...in their groups..nidhi's group..chirpy girls..dr ahana, dr jyothika..dr aditi...n then he saw dr dubey n dr ranganath..."come ashutosh"said dr dubey..as all stood up..ashutosh signalled all to sit n said"yes sir..bas abhi aata hoon khana leke..."dr ashutosh moved to the buffet..but on the way, it was dr megha again..with a plate laid with kofta, pulao n paneer..."sir ...aap kyun taqleef kartein hain , main hoon na...plz..maine aapke liye table bhi rakhi hai..."everyone around seemed to have noticed...n was looking at the duo...dr ashutosh seemed to be blazing ...as megha tried to be further audacious n touched his sleeve..the lid blew off..."dr megha..aap samajhti kya hain apne aap ko,..who the hell do u think you are??and how dare you take liberties with me...himmat kaise hui aapki mere nazdeek aane ki koshish bhi karne ki...do ont forget..you are just a junior doctor..."dr megha looked dr ashutosh in the eye..n replied"sir..dr nidhi bhi to ek jr dr hi hain..."the drs nurses were stunned into silence as ashutosh spoke with a harsh steely resolve they had not heard for a long time..."DR MEGHA, NIDHI MERI BIWI HAI...AUR AGLE SAAT JANMO ME KOI USKI JAGAH KABHI NAHI LE SAQTA...SO JUST GET OUT...RIGHT NOW..."dr ranganath came running at dr dubey's behest...n held dr ashutosh"sir plz aap aaiye..."dr priyanka got up n shouted "dr megha , plz get out..aapne suna jo dr ashutosh ne kaha...out"an angry megha stormed out as dr ashutosh slumped into a chair opposite dr dubey...dr dubey patted his hand..."ashutosh..calm down..tumne us badtameez ladki ko theek daanta per ab shaant ho ke khana khao..come dr ranganath..."as ranganath got a plate with a little rice curd n bhindi..he knew dr ashutosh kept lunch light...dr dubey contd"dekho ashutosh, ek baat jaanlo,..tumhare aur dr nidhi ke rishte ki gehraaye ko...bahut kum log samajh sakte hain...bahut kum...tum in baaton pe dhyaan dene ke bajaaye nidhi pe dhyaan do..usee tumhari zuroorat hai..."
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"Aaja nidhi, juice pee chall...kitni kamzor ho gayee hai meri bachchi"it was dadibua fussing over nidhi as shyama aunty fed icecream to nishu...who yakked non stop...nidhi took the glass ..n sat ..looking at the icecream..how baba used to get her an orange bar...she recalled...how she n anji fought once because anji took her bar...nidhi seemed to smile as she thought of those days...till suddenly she felt a terribly asphyxiated feeling...it seemed the emotions churning in wanted to break out..nidhi coughed...spilling the juice..."sorry dadi bua...mai saaf karti hoon..."as she tried to get up, col verma held her back..."ho jaayega saaf ...tu mere saath aa nidhi..."col verma took his daughter into his bedroom...a lonely room for the last 27 years..eversince nidhi's mother died...he took her to the photo of nandini on the wall..."jaanti hai nidhi..mai teeri maa se bahut pyaar karta tha...hab woh chali gayee to jeene ka mann nahi tha...per nidhi mai jeeya..tere liye...apne kaam ke liye...aaj zinda hoon solanki se chess me jeetne ke liye..nishu se khelne ke liye...bua aur sarkaar ka jhagda suljhane ke liye..."nidhi turned away but col verma held her by the shoulders"nidhi...mai tera dard samajhta hoon beta..per uski wajah se...kya tu jeena bhool jaayegi??tujhe jeena hai nidhi...humare liye...nishu ke liye...dr mathur ke liye...n most importantly dr ashutosh ke liye..."nidhi looked at herfather...n then quietly returned to her room...At about 3 shyama aunty came with a beautician"chal nidhi eyebrows karwate hain..meri bhi badh gayee hain..."before nidhi could resist , the beautician was at her work...n nidhi could only comply...shyama aunty had everything pkanned, facial..hair trimming...at 4.30 nidhi looked more beautiful...but the emptiness in the eyes was v much there...col verma patted dadi bua as sarkar asked for tea...nidhi replied"unko aane do chote sarkaar...aur sandwich bana do..woh lete hain shaam ko..."shyama aunty smiled...

Nidhi kept looking at the clock...6, 6.30...7 dr ashutosh was yet to come...nishu had gone to the toy shop with cv...n nidhi was getting v lonely...fears arising ...what if he didnt come?what if he left her here.?what if he said she was better looked after here??what if he just took nishu n left her behind...??nidhi's eyes had panic in them...as she heard the familiar horn of dr ashutosh's car...nidhi rushed out...dr ashutosh was coming up...unbuttoning his sleeves n folding them...he looked at nidhi...tears in her eyes..distraught he asked"kya hua ..nidhi..."??nidhi did not reply, she just rushed into his arms..n hugged him tight...dr ashutosh held her..a lil awkward as dadi bua n shyama aunty looked on...nidhi hicupped"mujhe ghar jaana hai..le chalenge na..plz"??ashutosh smiled"off course ..yeh bhi koi poochne ki baat hai...tumhare bina baba mujhe ghusne nahi denge...armaan jhagdega...aur main...main nidhi..main to tumhare bina saans bhi nahi le paata hoon..."just as they walked in , nishu came carrying a big bag of toys with col verma...n he saw ashutosh n began to show his toys...car, a block box and a teddy...dr ashutosh asked"thank you bola nishu"??nishu cutely went to cv , hugged him n said"thank you nana...ji"..
Ashutosh nidhi n nishu with maxi drove back...as cv n dadi bua stood on the stairs of their house..waving..wiping their tears...At mathur niwas, baba hugged nidhi...n armaan took nishu.."waah beta.. nanaji ki pocket khali kara li??nidhi tu bata ..maza aaya..."??nidhi smiled...n then looked at all of them...n slowly said"haan...achcha laga...per ghar waapas aake aur achcha lag raha hai...aap sab ke saath"...n ashutosh could feel the gaze of nidhi...as he looked up...n saw nidhi...looking at him..After dinner, nishu dozed off as he was v tired while nidhi just lay in ashutosh's arms...feeling his fingers entwined with her's..."dr ashutosh..."ashutosh looked at her.."hu..."??nidhi didnt say anything...just nestled closer...closing her eyes..as ashutosh kissed her nose...n patted her back...pulling her closer...she could see in her vision...the dark clouds lifting..n a weak sunshine peeping out...in her subconscious reverberated an old song that baba heard often
LAMBI SAHI DARD KI RAATEIN,DIL KI LAGAN SE KAAM LE
AANKHON KE ISS TOOFAAN KO PEE JA, AANHON KE BAADAL THAAM LE
DOOR TO HAI PUR DOOR NAHI HAI..SITAARON KI MANZIL..RAHI..
BAHAARON KI MANZIL..RAHI..

NIDHI SEEMED TO SHIFT ,AS ASHU LOOKED AT HER N SAW A FAINT SMILE ON HER PALE LIPS...HE COULD NOT HOLD BACK HIS TEARS...AS HE BENT N KISSED HER ON THE FOREHEAD...SOFTLY, BEFORE ENVELOPING HER AGAIN IN THE SECURITY OF HIS ARMS...

In the hospital, during lunch, dr ashutosh came to dr ranganath"dr ranganath..mai soch raha tha..nidhi ko aapke ghar laane ki..anji ke saath kuch time spend kar leti..if it suits you.."dr ranganath smiled"zuroor sir..we d delighted..nishu ko bhi laayiega..khushi yaad karti hai bahut...aur sir plz aap poocha nahi kariye..waise bhi aap anji ke jeejaaji hain...you n dr nidhi are v special for us"ashutosh smiled as he thanked ranganath n dialled nidhi..."jee"??"nidhi shaam ko tum aur nishuready rehna..anji ke yahaan chalenge..ok"??"jee .."as nidhi cut the phone..she had a faint smile on her face...anji..the years they had spent together..the fights..the love..it was almost like sisters..
As dr ashutosh rang the bell at dr ranganath's house, he could hear khushi..now nearly 5 yrs ..clapping"nishu aaa gayaaa"anji opened the door,..as nidhi n ashu walked in while nishu ran into khushi ...anji took nidhi to the kitchen...as she roasted paneer tikka..she asked"nidhi kaisi hai ab"??anji had been thru it all..she knew the pain..the heart ache..but she also knew recovery...the beauty of life...which was overwhelming...n she knew the power of love that ashu n nidhi shared...nidhi stood..breaking paneer pieces..anji contd"nidhi..mann lagaane ki koshish kar...jeejaji ke baare me bhi to soch..unhe kitni tawleef hoti hogi tujhe iss haal me dekh kar..dekha hai kitne duble ho gaye hain...baal safed ho gaye hain...plz nidhi ..itni sazaa mat de..unhe bhi aur khud ko bhi...dobara se jeena shuru kar..plz..yaad hai tu ne ek baar kaha tha..zindagi hume sab kuch deti hai..par zuroori nahi ki usi waqtde jab hum uski maang jarein...nidhi plz zindaginko ek mauqua aur de...aur mere paneer ka keema mat bana"she ended laughing as nidhi gazed at the mashed paneer..her fingers had made...she smiled..n said"chal iske rolls banati hoon main"
Khushi pulled dr ashutosh"uncle chaliye na ..mera room dekhiye plz"as ashutosh got up...holding nishu n khushi in two hands...her room was beautiful..pink walls, light pink bed..dolls n teddies around..story books in a pink shelf...ashutosh gulped...as he silently remembered the pink bundle ...buried in the corner of his wardrobe n a dream...a desire buroed in the corner of his heart..."uncle story sunaaiye na plz..."said khushi...ashutosh looked at the books...but lil chatterbox said "yeh to maine sun li..cindrella, snow white..thumbelina ..beauty..n the beast...kuch aur plz"ashu rubbed his beard...n smiled...he started as the kids settled on baby chairs...nishu wide eyed...n khushi excited"ek baar ki baat hai...ek raja tha...bilkul akela..aur tanha,uska koi nahi tha...bahu gussewala tha..kisi se milta nahi tha...akele rehta tha apne lohe ke quile mein..."dr ranganath stood behind the door as he listened n remembered dr hardstone of yester years..."ek din pata hai kya hua..."khushi asked"kya hua uncle..."nishu repeated "kya huua pappa"??ashu smiled.."ek titli aa ke baith gayee uske quile ki khidki pe...aur baithi rahi...raja ne bahut koshish ki...usko udaane ki...daraane ki..per woh to gayee hi nahi...waise to sabhi titliyaan sunder hoti hain..per yeh titli shaitaan bhi bahut thi...uske pankh..rang birange the...bahut sunder..aur woh ..she was v naughty,..ek din raja ne khidki kholi..use udaa dene ke liye..lekin woh..woh to andar aa gayee...quile mein..."khushi stood up..n asked"phir kya hua uncle??raja ko gussa ayaa"??ashutosh closed his eyes...recalling those years of nidhi as an intern...his slow realisation of love..."raja pehle to bahut gussaya..lekin phir jaise jaise titli ne uske quile me rang bharne shuru kiye...use titli se shaayad pyaar ho gaya...aur ekdin usne dekha ki natkhat titli uska mukut pehan rahi hai..."ashutosh could never forget nidhi wearing his coat in his cabin...never..."titli ko bhi raja se pyaar ho gaya...usne raja ko muskurana sikha diya...aur phir..pata hai kya hua"??the kids looked wide eyed"kya hua"???"raja aur titli ne shaadi kar li..aur woh lohe ka quila...ek pyaara sa ghar ban gaya...titli ek sundar si raani ban gayee...uski aankhe..badi badi...baal lumbe..bahut lambe"...nishu interruplted"mamma jaise"!!!ashutosh was shocked...could their son relate to their story??"haan beta ..bilkul tumhari mamma jaise"nidhi had come out from the kitchen...n drifted to the room...she stood behind listening to the story...their story..."phir kuch saalon baad unke yahaan ek sunder sa raajkumaar aaya...bilkul nishu jaisa...raja aur titli bahut khush the...unka ghar sapno ki tarah khoobsoorat tha...titli aur raja ka pyaar badhta jaa raha tha...per phir..."nishu seemed worried"kya hua papa...phir"??ashu patted nishu"ek din...titli se ek gudiya kho gayee..woh jaanti thi ki raja ko woh gudiya bahut pyaari thi..."nidhi tensed ...her nails digging into her flesh..."titli udaas rehne lagi...uske rang pata nahi kahaan udd gaye...apni titli ko iss haal me dekh kar raja bhi muskarana bhool gayaa...ghar udaas ho gaya...raja kitni bhi koshish karta ,..per titli nahi hunsti...nahi bolti..."khushi asked"uncle kya raja naaraaz tha ki titli ne uski favourite doll kho di"??ashutosh held lil khushi...as nidhi seemed to tear with tension...behind the door..anji n ranganath watching rthem...from the hall...ashutosh continued"nahi beta...raja apni titli se nazraaz ho hi nahi sakta kabhi...aur phir gudiya koi jaan boojhkar thode hi khoyi thi...woh to bus kho gayee thi..."there was a deep pain in ashutosh's voice...nidhi could feel the pain...she saw his sideburns...completely grey ...in these days of pain...her heart yearned for him...as khushi went up to ashu..n held his face..."to uncle..phir kya problem hai...raja apni titli ko ek aur doll de de...aisa nahi ho sakta kya"???ashutosh was stunned at the simplicity with which khushi had given a solution...children truly could solve even the most complicated issues...he hugged khushi n said"you are right...raja apni titli ko ek aur gudiya dega...woh kabhi udaas nahi rehne dega apni titli ko...titli me hi to raja ki jaan hai..agar titli murjha gayee to raja...raja marr jaayega...sub khatm ho jaayega"nidhi could take it no longer...she could feel ashutosh's love...his agony...his helplessness...no she d not let him suffer..she d not let them suffer..she d not let nishu suffer...she d give life another chance...she hicupped in sobs..as she walked to touch ashutosh 's shoulder...n as he looked dazed, she said"raja ko kuch bahi hoga...uski titli usse kuch nahi hone degi...woh doosri gudiyaa ka intezaar karegi...unka ghar humesha hansta khelta rahega...humesha..."n nidhi broke down...opening all her flood gates...as ashutosh hugged her...accepting n absorbing her angst..her insecurity..her pain...n then as anji took the kids away...he kissed her forehead...promising her...n himself..a new begining..to their dreams..to their joys..to the story of raja n his titli...n their eternal love...

Dr ashutosh entered baba's bedroom..looking a bit hesitant"kya baat hai ashu..kya hua"??armaan also entered, hearing the duo.."kya ashu, nidhi theek to hai"??ashutosh smiled"han theek hai..nishu se khel rahi hai...actually humaari anniversary aa rahi hai..to i was thinking...ki nidhi ko wild life sanctuary le jaaoon...you know..woh enjoy karegi..plus happy memories..."baba nodded"theek soch hai beta..ekdum leja.."ashu looked a bit confused"per nishu...wahaan guest house mei utni facilities nahi hain..kahin beemaar ho gaya to"??baba patted ashu"tu chinta na kar..humaare saath rehega nishu...ghumaayenge usse"armaan interrupted"ashu..nishu ko hum aaraam se rakh lenge..per for your information..teri shaadi ko chaar saal ho gaye hain...duniya badal gayee hai..dekh travel.com wild life sanctuary mei taj khul gaya hai..with all facilities of rides thru the jungle..aur hotel to dekh...one of the best..nishu bhi enjoy karega..aur tu kahe to main bhi chalta hoon"joked armaan..."chup reh armaan..kuch bhi keh deta hai.."admonished baba..but all fell silent as they saw nidhi standing at the door ..nishu sleeping in her arms...she seemed a little dazed and as ashutosh got up to cajole her back, she stopped him "maine sab sun liya hai..."all looked tense..she contd."idea achcha hai...per armaanji aur baba chalenge to aur bhi achcha hoga..aakhir taj me rehna hai..car se chalenge ..ab koi sarkari bus se thode hi jaana hai...kyun dr ashutosh"??ashutosh smiled.."jaisa kaho tum...mai to soch raha thanishu ko chod dein..bus hum dono..chalein"!!nidhi patted nishu"kyun bhala??nishu ko bhi holiday chahiye..aur baba n armaanji ko bhi..sab koi chalega to it will be more fun..aur waise bhi ab hum honeymoon pe..thode hi jaa rahe hain"!!ashutosh blushed n baba laughed...armaan added"yes..hum rahenge to nishu ko ghuma sakte hain...aur yeh dono love birds alag ekant me..."ashutosh pulled armaan's ear"shut up armaan..."armaan laughed..n said"dates bata..mai booking karwata hoon"ashu smiled n said. Friday se sunday..check out on monday..."he got up taking nishu from nidhi n put his arm around her waist...as baba n armaan smiled...n hugged each other...

Next morning as nidhi was getting parathas for breakfast, n ashutosh was reading the paper, nishu came n tapped at thepaper"papa, paper nahi..breakfast"n nidhi smiled...as ashu took nishu in his lap..putting a bite in his mouth...just as ashutosh began to eat, his phone rang...it seemed important as ashitosh left the food n got up"its an emergency..i have to go..."nidhi came after him"arre kuch le to jaaiye..plz.."ashutosh waved n said"dont worry, sandwich le loonga..."n he drove off...nidhi smiled as she returned to feed nishu...n she looked at maxi"maxi,plz bhindi dho do, aur mix veg bhi ,mai banaaoongi..."n then looking at baba ,she said"aaj lunch le jaaoongi unke liye...nahi to ek sandwich pe reh jaayenge..shaam tak.."baba smiled.."zuroor...per nishu ko chod ke jaana..mere saath khelega..aaj kal ABCD sikha raha hoon"!!nidhi smiled back...she always felt the home n family would be incomplete without baba..n armaan...they were the backbone of this house..n nishu its smile...ashu n nidhi would be lost if anyone of them d be missing...nidhi was so glad that they were going on a holiday together...nidhi smiled to herself as she thought of rediscovering the places they had seen n gone to in their honeymoon...
Nidhi drove to the hospital herself..with lunch for dr ashutosh..ashutosh was changing after the surgery as nidhi entered...n walked towards dr ashutosh's cabin..smiling...excited to see a smile on dr ashutosh's face.."morning dr nidhi..."nidhi turned..it was dr megha..standing n looking at nidhi...she came closer as in nidhi stood..holding no ill feeling...she felt megha had been irresponsible..but nothing beyond..she had no idea of the sinister jealousy that that megha harboured against her..."dr nidhi how are you"??nidhi smiled"theek hoon ab...""hospital kab join karengi..."nidhi smiled"kuch hi dino mein..."megha smiled bitterly n said"oh yes..you must still be quite weak...after all a miscarriage does wreck a woman...doesnt it..."??dr ashutosh raised his eyebrow ..as he heard a part of the conversation...as he walked briskly...seeing colour drain from nidhi's face..megha contd"i wonder if you d ever be able to concieve again...well sometimes after a miscarriage..its not"a furious ashutosh intervened"enough ..dr megha..my wife doesnt need your diagnosis"n then pulling nidhi..to him ,he took her into his cabin...nidhi pushed back her tears..n tried to look normal..she did not want ashutosh to see her agony...she had realised it wrecked him...n she could tolerate n bear anything in the world except seeing dr ashutosh in agony.."aaiye khana kha leejiye...aapke pasand ka hai..."ashutosh smiled...she was transparent as glass in front of him...he knew she was hirt n pricked but was covering up her agony...ashutosh smiled..n sat..as nidhi served the food...ashutosh's mind went back to the day after honeymoon, when nidhi had got lunch for him..but an irritated ashu had already eaten..n nidhi had remained hungry...till he fed her himself..in the night..Ashutosh smiled...much water had flown through...ashu knew nidhi liked to sleep till late..n made it possible every sunday..taking care that no one disturbed her...n nidhi too had become so responsible...putting the needs of the family before anything n everything..nidhi's light touch on ashutosh's hand pulled him out of the trance...and he began...then took a bite n put it into nidhi's mouth...wothout a word..nidhi ate slowly..as she looked at the cabin...everything had remained constant except their relatioship..that had evolved from a dr and intern...passed thru separation n heart ache to be cemented into that of a love too deep to be expressed n too strong to be supressed...
As nidhi got up to leave, ashutosh held her hand..she looked back...the two did not say anything...just looked at each other...and then there was a knock..luxmi bai entered..n looked at nidhi..smiled n then said"sir..bed no.45 needs you...sorry dr nidhi"nidhi smiled..as ashutosh got up to leave...nidhi meandered thru the hospital...trying to remember the moments of glory..of hardwork..of times when she had saved lives...she was missing the hospital...but was she really ready to work full time??nidhi sighed..as she came to the car..

As a tired looking dr ashutosh enterd home, nishu heard him..threw the toy that he was playing with n ran to hug him..."papaaa"nidhi hurried n caught him"nishu ..papa ko fresh hone do..."n nishu just jumped around as ashutosh emerged..bathed n changed..as the famliy sat for dinner, armaan said"ashu bookings ho gayee..all confirmed..a double room n a suite with a nursery..tum logon ke liye...ok"??ashu smiled n looked at nidhi..looking a bit jaded..after dinner nishu played around with ashu n armaan in the hall while nidhi was in her room..seeing her clothes for the trip..n recalling the childish nidhi ...who had packed the entire world for the honeymoon..n carried it all in a bus..her chain of thougts travelled to her convo with megha..n she sat knotting her hair...as ashu enterd carrying a sleepy nishu..."nidhi isko sula...are kya hua nidhi..."??nidhi was startled, she didnt say anything...took nishu..n patted his forehead..kissing his forehead as he closed his eyes...nidhi got up ..but ashutosh took nishu..n lovingly settled him...aAs ashutosh came into the bed.he looked at nidhi..lost somewhere"kya soch rahi ho"??nidhi looked at him n came closer...her hand playing with his chest hair...as ashutosh looked down.."bolo na.plz"nidhi lowered her eyes n asked v softly"dr ashutosh...i just wanted to know..aapne poocha hai dr sudhir se...can i ever concieve again"??ashutosh took a deep breath n looked at nidhi..her eyes full of fear and apprehension.."yes nidhi...you can concieve...per thode time baad...say 3 to 6 months...tab tak nishu bhi aur bada ho jaayega...hai na"??nidhi couldnt say anything ..she just nodded n closed her eyes...as ashutosh's tender fingers wiped her tears...
On thursday, dr ashutosh entered dr dubey's cabin n informed him that he d be away till monday n dr nagpal could be called incase of an emergency..dr dubey gave an understanding smile ..as ashutosh walked out..and drove off to nidhi..toa walk down their memory lane..to the forest where they were united forever...
As ashutosh drove out...an ambulance from barabanki village drove in...dr deepak called for a stretcher..as an old man was pulled out in a semi conscious state...barabanki was the same village where baba had found ashutosh...in rags..starving n hungry...about 30 years back...
As ashutosh smiled ..planning to rebuild his future..little did he know that his past had come to haunt him...once again...
NOTE...NEXT..FOREST REVISITED...ROMANCE REKINDLED...ASHNI BAS ASHNI..

Dr ashutosh was observing nidhi pack...only a few pairs of churidaar kurtas n gown sets with essentials...as she looked up"kya rakhoon aapke liye"??ashutosh smiled n replied"ab wild life sanctuary mei suit to pehna nahi jaa sakta...mujhe bataaya tha kisine...to jeans aur tees rakh lo...aur haan chappals bhi..sports shoes pehnoonga..aur tum bhi apne shoes rakh lena.."nidhi complied n the suit case was ready..he teased"ho gaya ..bus??vanity case..purses, high heels chudiyaannahi le jaaogi is baar..."??nidhi smiled..recalling the huge suitcases she had taken for her honeymoon..."nahi...ab mujhe pata hai..kya zuroori hai aur kya nahi"!!ashutosh came closer...holding her hands..he said"woh sab jagah jaayenge jahaan hum gaye the tab...ok??excited"??nidhi looked down, shaking her head"jee..."Nidhi arranged nishu's bag as he ran with all his clothes..he knew they were going to see a tiger..n he was damnd excited n kept growling at nidhi n baba"growwwl...tiger aaya"nidhi laughed at his euphoria...as she packed..her heart meanderingtime n again to what could have been bit what was not to be...as she kept nishu's favourite teddy in the bag,..she saw the doll...the doll she had reverred for their daughter...she wanted to hold it..but she could feel dr ashutosh's gaze..he was observing her v carefully ..n she did not wish to bring the cloud of gloom on his face again...nidhi knew he too had suffered silently..his completely grey sideburns told him that...she looked away..determined to smile "chalo nishu..so jaao ab.."but nishu had run to armaan ..who was packing..his clothes, shoes..n naina's photo..nishu watched intently ..and as armaan kept the photo..nishu took it up..looked at the smiling naina..with beautifulbrown eyes n a wide sunshine smile..nishu put his lips to the picture n kissed it..armaan stood speechless...the feeling was unfathomable...it seemed to him that his family with naina had been completed...though naina was no more..though nishu was not their child..yet in that moment...nishu had completed their union..their family..a family that never was n that never will be...armaan just looked at nishu..standing with naina's photo..he then took the photo n put it in his suit case ..lifted nishu n hugged him tight..really tight...

Nidhi entered"nishu ke bachche..kahaan ghoom raha hai tu"??n as nishu hid behind armaan, armaan countered "yeh to ashu ka bachcha hai..."!!!!n nishu squealed n ran to baba..nidhi after him..baba was still sorting his things as nishu ran n hugged him"dekhiye baba , so nahi raha...pareshaan kar raha hai"!!baba laughed as he seemed to glare at nishu n then broke into a smile...nidhi began to arrange baba's stuff,his clothes ..n then asked "bus ek kitaab..aur nahi baba"??baba smiled n said"eoh kya hai nidhi...kitaabein, philosophy ..pooja..yeh sab akelepan ko door karne ke khilone hain..aur ab jub toone hume jeeta jaagta khilona de diya hai..yeh nishu..to kitabein..they are not needed..main to nishu ke saath jungle safari pe jaaoonga ,tiger dekhoonga...maza karoonga..hai na nishu"??and as both looked back, nishu was fast asleep on baba's sofa..nidhi smiled...as she went to lift him...baba stopped"na beta..bhaari hai..ashu ko bula .."n dr ashutosh who had been packing medicines that any of them might need..came as he lifted nishu..he requested baba"baba kal 5 baje niklenge..ok"??armaan came in.."arre excitement ke maare mujhe to neend nahi aayegi..chaho to abhi chalo...per haan..baba odomos zuroori hai.."nidhi retorted"armaanji taj me rahenge..is baar..guest house me nahi.."armaan laughed"yeh to hai...wise ashu..pichli baar tum dono ka kum aur machcharon ka honeymoon zyaada mana hoga"??and as nidhi ran towards him, armaan raced to his room n locked it"kal subah 5 baje...goodnite"!!
When ashu got up at 4.30, and felt for nidhi, she was missing, he came out to see her preparing tea n sandwiches..as kaka was asleep n maxi had been sent to col verma's house for the duration..ashu came in n stood as nidhi poured tea n fixed sandwiches n just as she was moving to the bedroom...she walked straight into his arms...ashu enveloped her..his fingers grazing her back..from over the gown..it had been more than a month since they had been intimate...n though dr sudhir had told ashu many times that it d help nidhi heal at an emotional level..but somehow ashutosh could just not bring himself to it...for both of them being intimate was far beyond the satisfaction of physical desire..it was always a culmination of deepest emotions..of an agonising will to be a part of each other in all possible ways...nidhi experienced an emotional churning as she felt ashutosh's grip on her waist..n as he came closer..his lips seeking hers..she heard baba's bedroom door open ..n withdrew immiediately..leaving ashu behind...a deep look in his eyes..a look of desire..a look of satisfaction that nidhi wanted him...on nidhi's face was a thrill of a new bride..waiting to be carried across barriers of ecstacy...but both knew they were not newly weds..going on a honeymoon..they were revisiting happy memories to erase the painful ones..to submerge the undercurrent of agony in the tide of love..to drench thir parched eyes in the tears of joy...both wondered if they d succeed??

Nidhi removed the dishes n as she dressed a sleepy nishu, all waited..it was 5 a.m sharp when baba told kaka"heeraman dhyaan se rehna..dikkat ho to colonel ko phone karna..."n nidhi tched his feet..befoe taking the back seat ..insisting baba to sit in front.."aap baithiye..waise bhi nishu ko itni lambi journey me aagey...its not advisable..peeche khelega..."as baba sat ,ashu gave nidhi a look that spoke of a million thanks...she knew ashu's fulcrum of life was his relationship with baba...first n foremost...As ashutosh started the car..armaan shouted"woohooo!!!tigers here we come"!!!It was a four hr long drive..n the road had improved tremendously..as ashu remembered the bus ride ...rickety n umcomfortable...four yrs ago...he smiled as he looked at nidhi in the rear view..n she smiled too...recalling how a lady had handed over her kid to dr shutosh!!!!armaan watched them looking at each other thru the mirror,..n naughtily hummed"aankhon hi aankhon me ishaara ho gaya...baithe baithe jeene ka sahaara ho gaya..."n when nidhi pinched him"ouchhh..mai to gaana gaa raha tha..baba ki pasand ka"said armaan as baba smiled n said "yes..dev anand ..puraane gaano ki baat hi kuch aur hoti hai...old is gold"!!!they stopped at a highway motel, n as nidhi struggled to get down ..with nishu, armaan held nishu ..while ashu helped baba..."baba, aap theek hain na..."??asked ashu.."haan beta..bilkul theek..chalo kuch khaate hain...aaja nishu"while nidhi went to the wash room, ashu took nishu ..n was glad that nishu had great toilet discipline..nidhi was a wonderful mother...armaan ordered aaloo paranthe, gobhi paranthe n tea..adrak wali chai...as ashu smiled...having devoured all, armaan said"ashu ab tu baith, let me drive..."ashutosh was glad to join nidhi at the back...and as nishu drifted back to sleep, he made him lie..his torso in nidhi's lap..n legs in his...as nidhi caressed nishu's hair...ashu was looking at her...reading her thoughts...and just as he saw a shadow of pain drift across her lovely face...his fingers found her hand...n quietly he entwined them in hers...as his other hand rested on her shoulders...baba saw in the rear view...n smiled...it seems the long winter of grief was finally waning..

As they alighted at the taj"taj vanya palace"nishu ran in the lobby..enamoured of the decor...while dr ashutosh made the entries..n then they were taken to thire rooms.babanarmaan had a huge room , with a balcony oveelooking the forest while ashu nidhi had a suite..a bedroom, a small sitting area n a nursery for nishu..after making baba comforrtable , ashu nidhi came to their suite..though lil nishu remained with armaan n baba...as nidhi unpacked n arranged ashu's things...a smile played on her lips...ashu looked up from the sofa.."kya soch rahi ho..."??nidhi shook her head"kuch nahi...bas soch rahi thi..aapki cheezon ko meri cheezon ke saath rehne ki aadat hui ya nahi"??ashu recalled his honeymon days...how awkward he had felt ..initially ,sharing his space with nidhi...but now, she was the air he breathed...he got up..n put his arms on nidhi's shoulders..."ab main..meri cheezein..mera ghar..kuch bhi tumhaare bina nahi poora ho sakta...samjhi"n he took the pile of kurtas from her hand, placed them in the wardrobe n then came to the nursery...it was a lovely lil room eith a wooden horse,so,e pic books and cartoon cut outs..ashu smiled as he began to unpack for nishu..while nidhi arranged the itsy bitsy things..finally when ashutosh returned to the bedroom, he smiled as he saw nidhi fast asleep..her head on the pillow n her feet hanging down...he sat n took off her sandles and made her lie comfortably..adjusting the a.c at 22 he went to order lunch.He returned to baba's room to look at nishu...nishu was jumping on armaan's back..apparently a massage was being done..while baba was laughing his head off..."arre ashu...kya hua??nidhi kya kar rahi hai"??asked baba."baba, so gayee hai..abhi bhi weak hai..lunch tak utha doonga...nishu chaloge mere sath"??nishu romped into ashu's arms n he took him..as baba n armaan lay to rest..ashu sshhhd nishu as they tiptoed..nishu put a finger to his lips.."mamma..ninni"..n then as ashu showed him his space ..he ran on to the bed n began to play...while ashu lay..putting his arms around nidhi...

The ring of the phone awakened ashutosh..as he lifted the reciever"khaana nahi khaana kya love birds"???it was armaan!!ashu hurroed to awake nishu n as nishu walked to a sleeping nidhi..he rubbed his soft nose on her cheeks...n kissed her nose..quite like his father...nidhi opened her eyes...as father n son stood looking at her...she smiled...n opened her arms...as nishu ran into them..while nidhi n ashutosh were frozen in an eyelock...sainyaan...

Lunch was at the taj restaurant "jungle platter"ashutosh had ordered for all with great care..dal, paneer bhindi kofta..pulao...n then dessert...gulab jamun for armaan..imarti n rabri for baba..a coffee for himself and two tuti fruity for nishu n nidhi...as the icecream came..ashu looked at nidhi...n then slowly smiled as nidhi took a small bite...a bite of life...of a second glance at life...his thoughts were interrupted by the restaurant manager...who enterd into polite conversation, telling them about the joy rides, jungle safari..n all agreed to take the jeep safari in the evening..
At sharp 5 in the evening, ashutosh in his grey jeans n tees, nidhi in her green churidaar ,lil nishu with a hat, armaan n baba in safari pants boarded the gypsy...as they traversed the forest..armaan showing nishu deers, monkeys, birds...n then the geep stopped at a spot close to a water pond..waiting for tigers...armaan put a finger on nishu's lips...and v soon, the striped beast arrived...and all seemed mesmerised...as the big cat gulped water...while armaan clicked pics,..n the jeep drove on...towards the edge, the driver stopped pointing to various trees...as ashu looked at a particular tree..n the driver spoke"sir that is rhododendron...it has these flowers round the year..."ashu's gaze turned to nidhi...as both recalled...ashu told the driver to stop...and he alighted..pulling down a low branch n plucking a bunch of flowers...as he came back...nidhi looked at his fingers...remembering how he had got injured ..n how she had sucked his hand...their first intimate touch...both smiled...sharing the memory..in silence...
After dinner , as nidhi walked back with armaan..ashutosh talked to the manager..n as he joined them, armaan bade goodnite...nishu was with baba...ashu looked at nidhi..n extended his hand..."thoda walk ho jaaye...ek trail explore karein"??nidhi understood the relevance of the lines spoken four yrs ago...she replied"kahin phir kho gayee...to"??ashu put his warm hands on her shoulders .."to..ab mere saath khone se darr lagta hai...yaad hai jab akele kho gayee thi"??nidhi blushed..how could she ever forget..the fear of being left alone in the engulfing darkness...n then the security of ashutosh's arms...the hug...n then their walk to the machaan..how ashutosh had lit the lanterns...n then...the moon lit night..the cool breeze..the jungle around..n finally ashutosh touching her for the first time...making her awaken to desires..latent so far...n then the blissful union...nidhi could never forget that..never...Dr ashutosh's light kiss on her haor brought her back to the present...to her husband...who was waiting for her to walk once again through the winding path of life..with him..nidhi put her head on ashutosh's chest...and said"chaliye...kahaan chalenge..main jaanti hoon aap mujhe khone nahi denge..kabhi...bhi ..kahi bhi..."ashutosh hugged nidhi..n as they walked the trail in the hotel...the full moon shone on them...the silent witness to their journey..of reconstructing their life..of believing in love...n of giving life another chance...As ashu drew nidhi closer..n walked ..caressing her hair..he sighed wanting nidhi to forget what was lost n to move on in the journey of life with what remained...the glory of moonshine was showering them...their hearts seem to echo..
CHALO DILDAAR CHALO CHAAND KE PAAR CHALO
HUM HAI TAIYAAR CHALO...
ZINDAGI KHATM BHI HO JAYE AGAR..NA KABHI KHATM HO ULFAT KA SAFAR...

In the morning, dr ashutosh got up, extricating his arm from under nidhi ..as she still slept..ashutosh looked at her with love..it was after weeks that she was sleeping so soundly..he just didnt have a heart to wake her..he pulled the curtains so that the sunshine d not disturb her n then carrying nishu ,who was awake n playing in his nursery, he came to baba..baba n armaan were having tea n armaan handed a cup to ashu as well..."nidhi kya kar rahi hai beta"??ashu replied'baba so rahi hai...sleep deficit hai shaayed ya weakness..."as nishu imitated a sleeping nidhi n said"mamma ninni"!!n armaan pulled his nose.."bata kya plan hai aajka...tum aur nidhi jaao akele..hum nishu ke saath khelenge...childrens club bhi hai..."ashutosh smiled n said"i have found out...there is an excellent elephant safari uspe chalte hain forenoon mei...n then drive to a nearby tribal handicraft centre...phir raat ko...i was thinking..."ashu hesitated...arman n baba questioed"kya...bol na"??ashu contd"ek machaan hai...taj ka hi hai ab...wahaan le jaana chahta tha nidhi ko...raat mei..."baba smiled..his eyes reflecting pride...surprise n understanding..."zuroor..leke jaa usko..nishu humaare saath rahega raat ko..kyun nishu"??armaan added"aur kya..khoob tv dekhenge ..icecream khaayenge...hey ashu..kal anniversary hai tum dono ki...kuch plan hai..."??ashutosh smiled"haan..bus..."he was interrupted by a phone..armaan took it"yes a table for 5.."then he looked at ashu,"restaurant se tha..for beeakfast..."ashu got up"chalo ready ho jaayein...n thank you baba,..armaan..thanks yaar"as he closed the door carrying nishu n humming"pal pal dil ke paas tum rahti ho...jeevan meethi pyaas..ye kehti ho..."

Ashutosh put his hand on nidhi's arm..n gave it a lil squeeze..she woke up instantly..."chalo jaan ready ho jaao...time for breakfast.."nidhi smiled n yawned but as she saw the watch..9a.m.she threw away the duet n got up, pulling out hers n nishu's clothes from the wardrobe..n nishu clapped n laughed asshe ran around in a tizzy.dr ashutosh emerged from the washroom in his green tees n jeans...as he combed..he recalled how he had been shocked four years back when nidhi hadgot tees n jeans for him!!!!but then so many things had changed since then..nidhi had made him so warm towards life...open to joys..nidhi stepped out in her mustard n green churidar kurta carrying nishu in his undoes...panting she sat om the bed..trying to regain her breath...dr ashutosh seemed to panic..rubbing her back he asked"kya hua...bolo"??nidhi smiled ..rubbing her cheek against his hand n said"aapka beta..nikalne ka naam hi nahi le rahatha...drag ker ke lift kiya...water baby"!!ashutosh seemed relieved but said"kuch bhi ho,itna load nahi uthaya karo..not good for you.."!nidhi looked at his eyes..grey with concern...but then both were shaken out by nishu standing with his dungrees n shouting"pease pinhaao"n a smiling nidhi dressed him up n made him wear shoes...the family moved for breakfast.
As nidhi helped baba open the juice can n feed nishu, and armaan enjoyed chole kulche,ashutosh talked to the activities manager..n returned.."all fixed..chalo nishu breakfast kebaad elephant ride"n nishu n armaan clapped n cheeredasppl around looked n ashu frowned..!!

Nidhi returned to the room to come out with odomos n a change over for nishu..as she applied the cream, the huge jumbo arrived..n nishu seemed somewhat intimidated by its size..he was seeing the animal in reality what till now he had seen in books n on t.v.!!ashu laughed as nishu caught nidhi's waist..hugging her...he took him ,reassuring "kuch nahi hoga..dekho its so kind.."and ashutosh made nishu touch the elephant...They climbed a stand to sit into the howdah.first ashutosh then armaan then the guard gave nishu as babawas held securely by ashutosh n as he sat, he put the hat that armaan was carrying"hey armaan , mujh pe zyaada achcha dikhta hai"!!n as nidhi climbed up, ashutosh held her by the waist to pull her beside him..The jumbo got up, fanned its ears n moved as the guide with the mahaout explained all forms of wild life they could see..they saw a herd of deer..n as armaan showed nishu..he looked nonplussed unable to see..so armaan turned his head n said"dekh gadhe...sorry gadhe ke bachche"!!as ashu glared they came thru thick forests n nidhi felt it was somewhere here that while on their first trail, ashu nidhi had felt hungry n had been given a meal by a tribal...nidhi still had the taste fresh..as she smiled she felt ashu looking at her..she looked up..he was recalling the same thing...love n life after sometime become a journey of revisiting memories...so thought nidhi ..n she understood why ashutosh had got her here..to rediscover the blissful time they had had...if only they could go to the machaan again..thought nidhi.."ouuuch"cried nidhi as the elephant swayed..n she felt ashutosh's warm n firm hand around her waist..reassuring her...as she sat snugly against his broad chest...armaan clicked loads of photos n the guide too clicked some for all of them..n then they came to a lovely spot , surrounded by trees of saal n teak , n lots of undergrowth n as the guide pointed silently ,they saw two baby elephants..jostling their trunks..quite like two kids playing!!They were not able to spot a tiger as it was mid day..but had lots of fun and had a feel of the forest..as they reached the hotel, they got down...and the jeep waited to take them to the tribal centre.."baba aap thake to nahi"??nidhi asked"arre nahi beta...ab teri dadibua jitna boodha bhi nahi hoon main!!!aur aaj raat nishu dabaayega na meri kamar...kyun nishu"??n all laughed.As they drove, ashutosh said "jaanta hai armaan, jab hum yahaan aaye the to nahi tha yeh centre,..kuch shopping nahi ho paayi thi"!!armaan added"bechari nidhi..koi baat nahi..aaj kasar poori ker lena"!!the centre Tribes of india was run by an n.g.o. n had beautiful shawls n fabrics on display...ashu bought teeswithtiger face n foot prints for the three adults n two for nishu..a save wild life tee for his father in law ..n curios for dr ranganath, dr dubey ...he looked around for nidhi...she was standing in front of a beautiful lehnga for a baby girl...ashu gulped..as he put his arm around her...she was dazed..but quickly regaining herself she said"woh..bus dekh rahi thi...khushi ke liye"!!ashu smiled..he knew the reality but he played along n said"to le lo...uspe bahut achcha lagega...aur yeh shawls dekhi...apne liye..yeh jumpers"??nidhi looked at him..as he took the lehnga n she said"sab kuch bahut mehnga hai..."ashutosh smiled..with time nidhi had become quite wise with money though she knew his huge earning n saving..but now she rarely went into binge shopping..ashutosh said"nidhi...mehnga kuch nahi hai..humaare liye haan ..kuch cheezein bahut keemti hain..."nidhi understood his pun..n looked at him..unable to move away...dr ashutosh bought a lovely crimson n grey cardigan for her, and shawls for dadibua.shyama aunty n a stole for anji...as they came out, ashu said ,"just a minute "n returned to the shop...to come out a lil later..something in his pocket...
Lunch was awaiting them and they quickly washed their hands...though still dusty, they couldnt resist the buffet ...a truly grand affair..baba relished rajma n pulao with pineapple raita while nidhi had baked veggies n dal makhani, dr ashutosh had bhindi, rajma n curd..n armaan almost the whole buffet lil nishu took bites from each one of them n turned sleepy...but as soon as ice cream arrived, he was alert...ashu laughed as he looked at nidhi.."tumhari true copy hai...ice cream mei"!!nidhi smiled back"air nahi to kya..betamaa pe hota hai...betiyaan hoti hain papa pe..."as soon as she said this...realisation of pain dawned...as she seemed to look away...but ashutosh caught her eye n said"you are right...dekhna meri beti mujh pe jaayegi...just wait..n watch"n the agony on nidhi's face faded...baba looked at both...as nidhi smiled tentatively n ashutosh with a lot more surity...
In the room, ashu bathed nishu as the ride had been a dusty one..n as he too bathed n put a tired nishu to sleep, nidhi seemed to be looking for something..."mera pink nightie gown missing hai..."ashu drawled"wear something else...tum bhool gayee hogi laana"..nidhi did not seem convinced but kept quiet...maybe he was right..she took the purple set n immersed herself under the shower...trying to shake away the memories of weeks gone by...she emerged a lot fresh..,dr ashutosh was lying in bed watching old songs...his favourite hobby, he raised his eyebrow..as nidhi dried her hair..n droplets flew to him...as he too k off his specs to clean them, nidhi came into the bed in her purple gown..as she lay, ashu lowered the volume of t.v. .he knew she did not like old songs..nidhi asked'dheema kyun kar diya...achcha to hai gana.."ashutosh was surprised"tumhe puraane gaane kabse achche lagne lage"??nidhi came closer"jabse aapke saath rehne lagi...aapki pasand ..meri pasand ban gayi...dheere dheere.."ashutosh looked at her...n then ran his fingers in her wet hair..."meri aur tumhari pasand alag bhi ho to iska matlab yeh to nahi ki hum alag hain...tumhe jo achcha lage woh karo...tum meri biwi ho..parchchaai nahi.."nidhi seemed overwhelmed..inspite of being 18 yrs her senior, much more qualified, rich n successful, dr ashutosh had never tried to dominate over nidhi..they had had their differences but that was also because nidhi had full freedom to express herself...she had loved dr ashutosh tremendously when she married him..today her love had deepened n seasoned with a great amount of respect n reverence for him...for the amount he had changed for her,...for the way he now expressed his love..for giving up bitterness..for accepting her family as his own..n forbeing such an excellent father...nidhi touched dr ashutosh on his cheek...he looked at her"kya ..nidhi"??he saw a smile on her lips...n tears in her eyes...he took her closer...n kissed her hair...he knew she wanted to be with him...desired him to possess her..to make love to her...but she was tired...n he had other plans...so he kissed her on her nose n said"so jaao jaan...shaam ko baahar chalenge..."nidhi asked'kahaan"??ashu put a finger on her lipsn said"shhh shaam to hone do..."and asnidhi closed her eyes,she could still hear the old rajesh khanna song that was coming on t.v ""woh shaam kuch ajeeb thi..yeh shaam bhi ajeeb hai..woh kal bhi paas paas thi, woh aaj bhi kareeb hai..."dr ashutosh snuggled her to him...feeling her breasts on his chest...as he patted her to sleep..n soon drifted himself too...

He was awakened by a soft kiss on his forehead...n instinctively he enveloped nidhi in his arms...nidhi whispered"kaise pata ki mai hi hoon??koi aur hota to"??ashutosh didnt open his eyes...he just smiled n said"tumhe pehchanne ke liye mujhe tumhe dekhna thode hi padta hai,..mehsoos kar sakta hoon...n secondly..dr hardstone se aisi gustakhi koi aur nahi kar sakta...siwa uski naughty intern...biwi ke"!!nidhi pouted"thank u, per ab intern nahi..jr dr hoon main...aur ab uthiye..shaam hone ko aayee...nishu ready hoke gaya armaanji ke sath"ashutosh opened his eyes...n took the cup of tea from nidhi..he finished his tea n then went to change...emerging in his fresh jeans n blue tees n said"chalo..lets go.."nidhi looked quizxical"per kahaan..."ashu was in no mood to tell..he locked the room, put a light jumper of cotton around nidhis shoulders n came to baba 's room..nishu had just returned from the club n was excited with the stuffed tiger that he had got...ashu spoke"baba hum chalte hain...kal breakfast per milenge..nishu khelna chacha sath..ok"??n nishu ran around 'bue bye...masti karenge hum"plainly tutoredby armaan!!nidhi tried to reason but she was just forced into the gypsy and the manager shook hands with dr ashutosh...clearly something had been fixed!!as they drove, n the evening seemed to close into night, nidhi could not help remembering the nite when she had got lost...only to be found by dr ashutosh...n then claimed on the machan...yes nidhi seemed to find the drive somewhat familiar...she touched dr ashitosh's arm"hum kahaan jaa rahe hain..."ashutosh just smiled...indulgently...as the jeep stopped...n nidhi held his hand to get down..there was a taj staff who led them thru a winding path...n LO ..THERE STOOD THE MACHAAN...THE SITE OF THEIR UNION...OF BLISSFUL MEMORIES...OF INTIMACIES...OF THEIR FIRST MORNING AFTER...NIDHI LOKED AROUND..SAW THE BOARD"LOVERS' RETREAT"N SAW THE TAJ LOGO.THE PLACE WAS THE SAME BUT HAD BEEN TRANSFORMED...AS ASHUTOSH HELD NIDHI N THEY CLIMBED UP THE SECURE STAIRS..BOTH RECALLED THE UNSURE WEAK STEPS ..THAT HAD TAKEN THEM UP THE PLAIN MACHAAN 4 YRS BACK...TODAY..IT WAS AN EXCELLENT NET COTTAGE...SECURE FROM INSECTS..REPTILES...WITH AN A.C BEDROOM...WITH A TRANSPARENT ROOF...N AN OPEN BALCONY...THERE WAS A DINNER TABLE FOR TWO..WITH A LANTERN...NIDHI REMEMBERED HOW ASHUTOSH HAD LIT THE LANTERNS...N THEN LOWERED THEM LATER...AS HE HAD CLAIMED HER...SHE SEEMED TO TREMBLE AT THE MEMORY...ASHUTOSH OBSERVED THIS..N PUT HIS ARM AROUND HER...SIGNALLING FOR DINNER...HE HAD ORDERED HER FAVOURITE AALOO MUTTER N PANEER ..WITH PULAO..N AALOO PARANTHE ...N THEN CAME A LARGE CUP OF TOOTI FRUITY...NIDHI LOOKED UP...'AAP KYA LENGE...'ASHU LOOKED AT HER..N SMILED'AAJ TO SHARE KAROONGA ...SAB KUCH...'N NIDHI BLUSHED...
After dinner the staff retreated to their abode a little away, giving ashutosh the walkie talkie in case he needed them...n they were left all to themselves...ashutosh walked to a dazed nidhi n took her to the balcony...as they looked out at the eerie darkness of the forest..n the beauty of the floating fireflies..nidhi held hos hand..."yaad hai aapko...woh raat"??ashutosh put her fingers to his lips"uss raat ko kaise bhool sakta hoon...yaad hai..jungle ki khamoshi...soonsaan ghane raaste..aur hum tum...uss raat jab iss machaan ko dekha tha ..to laga tha..ki ..."nidhi completed"ki zindagi mil gayee...hai na"??ashitosh nodded...n pointed to the lanterns...as nidhi went n touched each of them...remembering how she had teased ashutosh...not yielding easily to his advances..n how he had lowered her dupatta to kiss her on the neck...for the first time ever...she seemed to shudder...as she felt dr ashutosh graze her neck...n lower his lips on to the same spot...nidhi didnt move...just stood still...ashutosh brought her to the bedroom...with huge netted windows...n a transparent roof...woth stars twinkling...just like their memories...as ashutosh stood before her...asking with a raised eyebrow...she answered with lowered eyelids...n turned to put his arm across her neck...just as she had done 4 years ago,...ashutosh kissed her forehead...her eyes n her nose...before coming to her lips...his lips seemed not to be evoking passion but absorbing every drop of agony n melancholia from his nidhi's form...as he turned nidhi around...she could not help smiling how he had fumbled with her kurta zipper...but that was four yrs ago...an experienced n wise ashutosh knew ...he lifted nidhi...carrying her to the bed...as he poened her garments...they both knew ...it was much more he was opening...more than the hooks being undone..it was the caps on buried grief that was being undone...he wanted not only her body ..but her heart..her soul to experience ecstacy...dr ashutosh cupped those breasts ...after what had seemed ages..n nidhi whispered'dr ashuto...'n as usual the rest was lost as he kissed her again...running his fingers in her hair...trying to undo all the knots...of hair n heart...nidhi came close..burying her face in his chest...trying to tell him ..this was her sanctuary..her haven from all storms of life..ashutosh stroked her bare back...n then ..sighing ...he bent to kiss her abdomen...his hand flat..feeling each molecule of her skin..his fingers caressing her ..as his lips seemed to pay tribute...to a loss so deep...so personal...so mutual...n as nidhi could not stop herself from teara...he knew n his lips were there to drink all her woes...so that she could smile n be the sunshine of their world again...dr ashutosh...began to work on her...rediscovering all that had been dead or latent for long...he wanted the shoots of spring to emerge from the heart of autumn...his fingers ..his lips ..n most of all his heart seemed to be doing the magic yet again...as nidhi began forgetting all...pain..loss..depression...all that mattered was she n ashutosh were together n they loved each other tremendously...That nite...inspite of being drs ..well versed with human anatomy...they had both been shy n apprehensive...nidhi of doing something unabashed..n ashutosh of hurting her in his storm of passion...tonite it was v different...they knew n understood each other completely...n as ashutosh's caresses became stronger...nidhi knew...she was going to feel the bliss...as ashutosh united with nidhi...tendrly holding her with his strong arms...what followed was an act of complete claim by him n total surrender by her...it was a moment when he took her beyond all suffering...n when she recalled nothing else except that nite when she had learnt...how pain could be pleasure,...
Dr ashutosh dressed n threw the pink nightie gown to her...she blushed...so here it was dr ashutosh asked"chai peeogi...adrak wali"??nidhi looked confused...he switched on the kettle...n poured ginger paste from a sache ...kept there...as the sipped tea..sitting on the terrace...nidhi smiled...at herself...her destiny...at the man who had changed her world...who was her world...dr aahutosh said nothing...just extended his hand ...n nidhi took it as they returned to the bedroom...n ashutosh caressed nidhi..till she was stoking with desire...n he took her one more time...n then they slept...in each others arms...relaxed...happy...n blessed..to be united...
In the wee hrs..nidhi opened her eyes...not finding ashutosh around...she slipped on her gown n looked around...n like years back...he came..with a plate of fresh fruits...nidhi smiled ...n he said"bilkul sahi...apni biwi ke liye nashte ka intezaam karne gaya tha..."n nidhi recalled the peach she had bit into that morning...the sweetest fruit ever...the fruit of love...
As they descended, dressed n ready to leave...dr ashutosh took nidhi by her hand to the tree...where she had engraved"ASHUTOSH NIDHI.."...n as he stood gazing at her...their hearts seemed to murmur together..."jab bhi baadal achayenge..jab bhi baarish ki boonde girengi..jab bhi bahaare aayengi...hur mausam me padhengi humara naam...sath sath...ashutosh nidhi...humesha humesha..."

As dr ashutosh n nidhi returned the next morning...n knocked at baba's door...it opened n lil nishu ran ..saying "happy anniv..."n nidhi hugged him tight...feeling guilty at having left him behind...as baba n armaan wished them, they touched their feet...as nidhi touched armaan's feet...he pushed back his tears..saying.."haan haan theek se choo...mai nahi hota..to ye bhai sahab to majnoo bane rehte...hardstone majno...waah kya title hai picture ka..."n nidhi laughed ...as they sat for tea...n ashu's phone rang ..it was col verma..wishing them n then dadi bua at her hyper best..telling nidhi not to go out in the forest..as everyone was laughing, col verma said"dr ashutosh, kal shaam ko yehi aaiye..khaana khaayenge saath ..ek choti si party rakhi hai..."ashutosh smiled"sure col verma...jo aap kahein..."n then he told nidhi"col verma ne bulaya hai kal raat...ek party hai.."nidhi beamed with joy,..at the thought of spending time with her father...dadi bua shyama aunty...then she looked at dr ashutosh"suniye..kyun ba kal hi maxi aur chote sarkaar ki sagaai kar dein...after all hume hi to karna hai sab kuch...kal rings kapde khareed loongi..."ashutosh looked at baba n smiled"sure why not"!!n baba added"nidhi ..beta badi mushkil ho jaayegi..samdhanji ladke wali..hum ladki wale..bahut pareshan karengi..."!!!n all roared in laughter...
After breakfast as baba settled to read his book, nidhi ashutosh...with nishu across his shoulders..n armaan walked to the sparkling rivulet behind taj..n armaan showed nishu..the huge elephants bathing...nidhu gaped..wide eyed n then clapped "nhaai ..nhaai"!!!as ashutosh saw nidhi faltering..he made nishu sit on a rock n held her by the waist...as armaan clicked pics..ashutosh lowered nishu inyo the shallow water..n he began to splash..water n fun sprayed all around...as nidhi n nishu were almost soaking wet...n finally they waded back...armaan clicking memorable pics with jumbo in the backdrop...
As ashutosh took nishu into the shower, nidhi could hear the exuberence of both father n son...she waited with their clothes..but finally went in to bring nishu...only to be herself held captive...of love..with nishu holding on to her legs"mammma"n ashu holding her waist...giving it a gentle squeeze...as she too shook her hair tospray water...n finally ashutosh had to lie ..as he ofed the shower"nishu paani khatam..."n as he carried nishu to change..nidhi shouted"kapde hain bed pe..."n then began to undress n bathe...her hair felt sticky as she shampooed them..n soaped herself...blushing as she saw the graze of dr ashutosh's stubble on her breasts...she onned the shower...smiling as she recalled the night at the machaan...n the wonderful togetherness that they had had...As she emerged, she could hear nishu play in his space...she dressed into a crimson n cream churidaar ..n sat to wear her earrings...but just then, dr ashutosh stopped her...holding her hand...she looked at him..n said"pehan ne deejiye na...plz"ashutosh smiled..."theek hai..pehno..per yeh waale..."n he opened his palm..to show a pair of lovely filigree work studds..with gold beads..a beautiful pair from the tribal centre...nidhi was speechless..."kya karte hain aap bhi..tops the to mere paas..itna paisa kharch kar dete hain...binabaat ke..."ashutosh put a finger on her lips n said"kamaata to sadiyon se tha..per koi tha hi nahi jispe kharch ker sakoon...chalo pehno...do u like them:"??nidhi kissed the tops...n murmured"lovely...beautiful..."as she wore them..ashutosh looked at her..."mera gift..."nidhi gulped...she had been so lost in her grief...n herself..she hadnt thought...she lowered her head...ashutosh spoke as he held her quivering face in his hands...steady n firm..."mai iss gift ki baat kar rahaa tha..."n he kissed her eyes..softly...before releasing her...she smiled n got up...ashutosh asked"chaai"??she smiled n put the kettle...as she was setting the cup...a single one from which they could share...the intercom rang..it was baba"kya ashu kahaan ho tum log..bhai aao..chaai wai ho jaaye..."ashu replied..looking at nidhi..awkwardly"jee baba"..."nidhi baba bula rahe hain..shaayed mann nahi lag raha..."nidhi beamed as she switched off the kettle"jaanti hoon..apne pote ke bina reh nahi sakte ...chaliye.."ashutosh held nidhi's fimgers..."hey doc!!pareshaani nahi hoti tumhe joint family me...baba..kaka..armaan...itni zimmedariyaan..mera waqt bhi bat jaata hai..akele me kahaan zyada time spend kar paata hoon ..tumhare saath"??nidhi smiled"aap bhi kya baat karte hain...parivaar hain woh humaara...they are a part of us...aur jaante hain...baba se to jeevan sandhya se jud gayee thi main...tab to na yeh pata tha ki woh mere nana hain...na yeh ki aapke baba...per lagta tha ki koi to rishta hai...aur agar armaanji aur baba na hote..to kya hum kabhi ek ho paate..."??ashutosh nodded caressing her hair..looking at her with silent appreciation...till finally nidhi screamed"chaliye ..nahi to gussa ho jaayenge baba..."!!!!
As the family sat sipping tea that nidhi prepared in the kettle..while nishu ate his biscuits...dipping them in hot milk...baba took a deep breath...n remarked.."jaanti hai nidhi..jab tu aaya karti thi ghar..mujhe dawa dene...tab mai socha karta tha ..ki kaash main jaan paata..usko jise tu chahti thi...mila paata tum dono ko...mujhe kya pata tha ki tu mera ghar aangan hi aabaad karne wali thi...really ..i could not guess..."n then looking at ashu he added"uss din agar hum dargah na jate to mai to kabhi sach na jaan paata...aur..."n then smiling ,he pulled armaan's ear n said"yeh nalayak to yeh kehta tha..'babakoi hope nahi hai...un dono ne akele jeena eeekh liya hai..."armaan rubbed his ear...n remarked"main kya karoon baba...maine to itni koshish ki..."ashutosh was lost in memories...how armaan always stood by him...lucknow orkerela...n prodded him saying"ashu..mujhe adhuri kahaniya nahi pasandkahani poori kar..."..he smiledashe looked at nidhi...in love..in silence...in perfect harmony...sainyaan...as baba n armaan looked at each other...n armaan remarked"bhai ashu..tera pet to nidhi ko dekh ke bhar jaata hai..per baaki sabko bhookh lagi hai..so lunch per chalein"???


In the evening , as shadows were lengthening, ashutosh looked at nidhi...and extended his hand..."walk pe chalogi..."nidhi smiled n nodded..n as nishu played with armaan..trying snakes n ladders...n baba contd with his book, ashu n nidhi descended to walk...walk down the memory lane...as they walked...ashutosh remarked"hey doc!!chaar saal ho gaye...lagta hai abhi kal ki baat hai..."nidhi looked at him..."yaad hai aapko..jab aapne mujhse haath milaya tha ..pehli baar...kuch ajeeb si..feeling hui thi...laga tha...ki bas..ek rishta ban raha hai...aapko bhi laga tha..aisa'"??dr ashutosh did not answer...he just walked..as nidhi tried to keep pace...finally he spoke"pata hai..jab tumhe bombay convention me dekha ..tab ehsaas hua..ki zinda nahi reh paaoonga tumhare bina..."nidhi looked at him..."armaanji bhi the na ..aapke saath"??ashu nodded"haan..aur roz kehta tha..ki kahani..poori kab hogi.."as ashutosh laughed a relaxed laugh..nidhi held on to his hand..."jaante hain..jab airport pe...baba ne..mere baba ne kaha ki mai aapke paas jaaoon...mujhe vishwaas nahi hua..."ashutosh sighed..."yes,..us se pehli kitni raatein main soya nahi tha...lag raha tha..ki zindagi phisal rahi thi haathon se...tum europe jo jaa rahi thi...mujhe chod kar...i had lost hope...per baba ..ne bahut zor diya.."he smiled..."pata hai yah bhi kaha..ki agar col verna nahi maane..to uthake le aaoon tumhe...but you know nidhi..main col verma ka point of view,..unki pareshani samajhta hoon...humaari umr ka faasla..humara rishta samajhna aasaan nahi tha...per unhone samjha..kuch waqt laga..per samjha...yehi kum hai kya..."??nidhi smiled...her eyes misty at the memory of the terrible separation..."jis din baba aaye the ghar..mere baba ko samjhane...i feel tabhi baba ko ehsaas hua...such armaanji aur baba..nahi hote to..."ashutosh kissed her hand and said"to raja ko apni titli kaise milti bhala,..."??and nidhi laughed...as dr ashutosh said"chalein waapas..ki phir se khone ka iraada hai"??nidhi answered"aapke saath khone se bhi darr nahi lagta...phir koi machaan mil jaayega..."n nidhi bit her tongue..as a naughty glint came into her husband's eyes...they turned...nidhi leaning on ashutosh's arm...taking the winding road back to the hotel...ready to face all the turns..all the bends..hand in hand...

As soon as they entered, the manager informed that there were circuit issues in their room that were being attended to..so they could chill in the lobby...ashutosh was surprised...but then he saw baba n nishu walk with a big goodie bag..n as nishu saw them, he ran...to them ..lisping"papa..gooodies..."as they sat in vaba's room..armaan was missing...probably swimming...or ...as the clock struck 9, there was a phone...it was armaan"ashu...khana nahi khayega kya...jaldi aao restaurant mei..."!!!before dr ashutosh could answer , he had hung up...an exasperated ashutosh...a bemused nidhi n baba with nishu walked to the restaurant...
THERE WAS ARMAAN...WITH A BIG CAKE ON THE TABLE...BALLOONS, HEART CUT OUTS ALL AROUND...AS THE TAJ STAFF WISHED HAPPY ANNIVERSARY..ASHUTOSH SEEMED DAZED ...N A TRIFLE EMBARASSED..BUT AS BABA CLAPPED N ENCOURAGED ASHUTOSH...ASHU HELD NIDHI'S HAND N CUT THE CAKE...FOLLOWED BY A VEG DINNER...N ABSOLUTELY RAVISHING SWEETDISHES...ASHUTOSH N NIDHI LOOKED AT ARMAAN..."THANK YOU ARMAAN...TU NE TO KAMAAL KAR DIYA..."ARMAAN SMILED"WOH AISA HAI MERI JAAN...KI MAI ZINDAGI KE LAMHON KO QUAID KERNA CHAHTA HOON..TUMHARI KHUSHI...KE LAMHE...AUR ADHOORI KAHAANIYAAN MUJHE BILKUL NAHI PASAND..."N HE WINKED AT A CONFUSED ASHUTOSH

As the family walked out..to their rooms...armaan tried to hold a sleepy nishu"chal nishu..aaj phir chacha saath tv dekhna..."but nishu was not game..he put his arms around ashu..."uunnnh papa..mama"!!n nidhi n ashu smiled..."rehme de...armaan..aaj uska mann nahi hai!!armaan seemed to scratch his head...as ashu nidhi said"good nite.."AS ASHUTOSH OPENED THE DOOR ..N NIDHI ENTERED ..A SLEEPY NISHU IN ASHU'S ARMS...THEY SAW..THE ROOM BEAUTIFULLYDECORATED WITH ROSES...THE BED SHROUDED WITH TUBE ROSES...N PETALS ON THE PILLOWS...ASHUTOSH LOOKED AT NIDHI...N RAISED HIS EYEBROW...NIDHI LOOKED DOWN N BLUSHED...AND LIL NISHU OPENED HIS EYES...LOOKED AT THE WONDROUS NOVEL SIGHT...WRIGGLED DOWN...N BEFORE ANY OF HIS PARENTS COULD SAY ANYTHING...HE JUMPED ON TO THE BED...PLAYING WITH THE FLOWERS...SMELLING THE PETALS...HIS SLEEP COMPLEYELY DISAPPEARED!!NIDHI N ASHUTOSH LAUGHED...AS HE CRIED"MAMMA..COME..PAPA..."AS THEY CHANGED..N LAY..NISHU PLAYED BETWEEN THEM..CLEARLY IN NO MOOD TO GO..OR SLEEP!!NIDHI PATTED HIM...AS ASHUTOSH LOOKED AT THEM..HIS WORLD...THE LIGHT OF HIS LIFE...THE SYMPHONY OF HIS HEART...AS NIDHI'S EYES BEGAN TO DROOP...BUT NISHU WAS STILL AWAKE..ASHU LAY..PUTTING HIS ARM AROUND NISHU N NIDHI...YES..THEIR SON..HAD CHOSEN THE NIGHT TO SLEEP WITH THEM...BUT THEN ...THATS WHAT CHILDHOOD IS ALL ABOUT..ASHUTOSH..JUST AS HE YEARNED FOR NIDHI..IN HIS ARMS...HAD ALSO LONG DESIRED TO SEE HIS HOME RING WITH LAUGHTER..LAUGHTER OF HIS CHILDREN...HIS DREAM HAD COME TRUE...AS NISHU MOVED CLOSE TO ASHU..N NIDHI SMILED IN HER SLEEP...ASHUTOSH FELT..IT WAS THE PERFECT MOMENT...FAR BEYOND PHYSICAL UNION..FAR BEYOND WORDS...IT WAS THE SILENCE OF COMPLETION...IT WAS THE MOMENT OF ETERNITY...IT WAS THE SOUND OF MUSIC...MUSIC OF THEIR TOGETHERNESS..LOVE N LIFE...
DR ASHUTOSH SMILED AS HE TOOK OFF HIS SPECHS..N CLOSED HIS EYES...A HAPPY COMPLETE N SATISFIED MAN...

Early morning, nidhi woke up ashutosh"waapas nahi chalna hai kya"??and a sleepy dr ashutosh yawned as he got up n smiled ,seeing nishu still asleep close to him..n in his hand was a rose ..ashutosh caressed his hair and then looked at nidhi..apologetically...he knew she would have wanted him the previous night but nishu had jeopradised what could have been...yet neither nidhi nor ashutosh had any regret...they knew there d be many more nights...many more moments..as nidhi handed him his tea,she said"mai ready hone jaa rahi hoon..sab packing kar di hai..bus aap nishu ko ready kariyega"n she rushed into the toilet with her orange n white churidar kurta.she emerged before ashutosh had finished his tea, and he seemed surprised..'nahaai bhi ho ya aise hi ...'nidhi wrinkled her nose..'mai cheating nahi karti..chahe to check ker leejiye"and dr ashutosh got up n hugged her ..rubbing his nose in her wet hair n finally planting a kiss on her neck..."yes...nahaai to ho..."nidhi smiled"ab jaaiye bhi..aap bhi na..."and she took out ashu's clothes from the wardrobe and nishu's too ..n then said"jaldi kariye..lucknow me kaam hain..phir shaam ko party...mai baba ki packing me help karke aati hoon"and she went out...as dr ashutosh stood shaking his head n smiling at the tremendous energy that she had...he sat n pulled nishu to him,..ruffling his hair..as nishu opened his eyes..n said"mammma"ashutosh smiled...'achcha, tumhe bhi uthte ke saath mamma chahiye !!!chalo nhaai nhaai..."n nishu jumped out of the bed n tried pulling out his tees, threw his shorts n rwn around in undees...ashutosh lifted him into the shower n enjoyed the sprinkling of water...as he put shampoo on nishu's hair..n washed them..
As nidhi entered the room, both father n son were ready..each looking more handsome than the other... as they saw her, they smiled ..after all she was the light of their lives..nidhi hurried"chaliye breakfast ko..."

After a sumptuous breakfast ,as dr ashutosh brushed armaan's efforts to pay the bill and cleared it himself..nidhi got the luggage loaded into the crv and as they sat, with ashutosh at the wheel and nidhi nishu n armaan at the back..ashutosh drove...thru the forest ..through the same route that the jeep safari had taken during their honeymoon...and as they could see the machaan at a distance ,ashutosh looked at nidhi thru the rear view and could see har smile...as the fm radio played"pyaar ki anokhi hai daastaan..."and they hit the highway to lucknow...

Just before sitapur, nidhi phoned dadibua n told her to send maxi home to mathur niwaas as she d need help..dadi bua agreed..as they reached n nidhi ashu armaan touched kaka's feet,baba gave him the shawl that ashu had got from the tribal centre..he was overwhelmed...as nidhi said"kaka, aaj raat ko chalna hai mere baba ke ghar..aapke bina humari party adhoori hai..."while armaan took care of nishu , nidhi n ashu went to the sahara mall,to buy rings for maxi n cs.nidhibought a plain band of gold with maxi inscribed on it for cs,n a ruby in gold for maxi...as she was paying,ashutosh asked"size ..kaise pata karogi"??nidhi smiled "mujhe idea hai..dono ka..."n then both seemed to be lost in each other's eyes..remembering the unforgetable moment when ashutosh had ventured into nidhi's home to check the ring size...n had been shocked when she had hugged her...though he had not hugged her back..out of shock n shyness but eversince he had longed for her...nidhi blushed as dr ashutosh looked at her...n she shook him finally"chaliye..kapde bhi kene hain"nidhi bought a shirt n trousers..peach n brown for cs and a magenta n green churidaar for maxi...finally tired they headed home for lunch...nidhi laighed as dr ashutosh exclaimed"itni mehnat to apni shaadi me bhi nahi ki thi"!!!!

Early in the evening as the family got ready, maxi was a bit surprised when nidhi gave her the lovely suit...but didnt say anything except"madam..iski kya zuroorat thi"??n nidhi smiled"zaroorat thi..abhi para chalega..."
Nidhi was wearing her blue georgette with kundan work..her kundan tops n..put a dash of lipstick ,dr ashutosh wore his navy blue summer suit with a sky blue shirt and the red tie..that nidhi had gifted him long back..as nidhi admired at his reflection while he stood behind her,combing his hair...she said"yeh tie ..bahut achchi lag rahi hai aap pe...pasand haina aapko.."ashutosh smiled but didnt say anything...as nishu came rumning in his squeaky new shoes, he was looking dashing in his black shorts, grey tees with a red collar..somehow a lot like ashutosh...nidhi hugged him..making him sit in her lap..she gushed at the reflection of all three in the mirror...
As they emerged, baba armaan kaka n maxi were all ready, nidhi was carrying the rings in her bag..n as they sat..baba said"ashu..zara haldiram se mithai lelena..koi 10 kg.."ashutosh seemed dazed"kyun baba..."n as nidhi tapped his hand he recalled it was a special occassion.."jee baba.."as ashutosh got down with armaan to buy the sweets,armaan looked at the tie...smiled wistfully and said"yaad hai..jab nidhi ne yeh tie di thi..tab tu hansa tha..ki tu isse pehan nahi sakta...ab dekh.."ashu reflected his smile,..putting his hands in the pockets of his trousers ,he said..."armaan..sach to hai ki sab ..sab kuch badal gaya...nidhi ke aane se...main..meri zindagi..mera ghar..sab kuch...mujhe kabhi kabhi khud yakeen nahi hota ji yeh mai hi hoon...itna khush rehta hoon..."armaan patted him"yes meri jaan..mai to kabhi kabhi apne uss jale phoonke ashu ko miss karta hoon...but yes jokes apart..i do miss our chess games,.."!!!ashutosh smiled as he paid..n replied"chal kal dekhte hain..khelenge..."armaan teased"beta...ab to chess kya..aap raat ko noodles khaate ho"!!nidhi seemed amused as the two friends came back..laughing"arre mithai to laaiye"n ashu glared at armaan..who feigned fear"oh sorry my lord ..ghulaam bhool gaya..abhi haazir karta hoon"!!!

As they alighted at col verma's gate, he was there to recieve him..ashutosh touched his feet and then looking at the huge arrangements..he exclaimed.."col sahib..aapne kaha tha..choti si party hai..yeh to lag raha hai ki humaari shaadi ho rahi hai phir se..."col verma hugged his son in law n replied"ashutosh..jaise jaise saal guzarte ja rahe hain..waise waise lag raha hai...kitna lucky hoon mai...aap bahut special hote jaa rahe hain..humaare liye..so this party is just to say thank you..thats all" dr ashutosh stood smiling and then he looked at nidhi..n heldcol verma's hands"col verma..jahaan tak thanks ka sawal hai..woh to mujhe kehna chahiye...infact i cant thank you enough sir..for having given me nidhi..."the conversation was stalled as dadi bua came "meri bachchiii aa gayee jungle se...bhai daaktar sab baat pasand hain tumhaari..per tum ye jungal le jaana chod do meri bachchi ko...haan bus kahe deti hoon"and ashutosh laughed as dadi bua hugged him..n they entered...The guests were yet to come..as ashutosh looked around..wonderful arrangement..and there waseven a piano...so ashutosh will have to sing again...as he shook his head thinking of a song...and as he thought.."maine tere liye hi saat rang ke sapne chune"echoed in his heart...but there was pain...pain of loss...though he tried his best to keep it buried...yet it did resurface at moments...more than the loss of the baby..it was the agony of nidhi that tormented him...no ..that song will wait...wait till their daughter d come..come again she would..he was sure of that...
"So dr ashutosh..kaisa raha jungle safari..."??it was mr solanki..as ashutosh shook hands and began to talk..while nidhi was insife arranging things..telling cs to get dressed,when she emerged,she saw col verma n ashutosh sitting in a relaxed way..chatting and col verma laughing!!nidhi loved the moment...she came to them..as col verma held her hand..and she leaned on him..ashutosh said"col sahib mujhe apni army life ke kisse suna rahe the.."nidhi smiled...n said"baba, aap ghar aaya kariye na..infact aap dr ashutosh aur armaanji chess bhi khel sakte hain...aur dadi bua baba ludo...plz baba.."as col verma smiled, dr ashutosh looked at him n said"col verma...nidhi theek keh rahi hai...infact mai bahut din se aapse kuch kehna chaah raha tha..but bus keh nahi paaya...col verma..kitna achcha ho ..agar"nidhi looked at him..trying to fathom his thoughts.."achcha ho..agar aap aur dadibua bhi humaare saath rahein...ghar ko extend karwa loonga...jaisa aap require karein...per it d be very nice..sab saath me..nidhi bhi to kitna miss karti hai aapko..aur nishu bhito..usse rehna chahiye aapke saath.I know mai beta nahi hoon ...bete ki umr ka bhi nahi hoon...per jaisa bhi hoon...aapki family ka hissa hoon."col verma seemed a little surprised at the proposal...he held ashutosh's hand..."dr ashutosh..aap mere liye nidhi se badh ker hain...umr ke sawaal ko to aapne kab ka khatm kar diya...haan mai bhi miss karta hoon nidhi ko...per sach kahoon...agar mera beta bhi hota..to bhi mai uske saath shift nahi hota...you see i am ..maithoda independent kism ka hoon...aur is ghar ko..nahi chod sakta...nandini ko laaya tha iss ghar mei...yahin se woh gayee...yaheen meri nidhi aayi..."col verma trailed off ...as baba ,joining them ..put his arm around and said"colonel...samajhta hoon tumhara lagaav iss ghar se...per nidhi ..nishu aur hum sabko bhi to tumhari yaad aati hai.."col verma smiled..."dr mathur...dr ashutosh..main shift karne ka vada to nahi karta...per haan maheene me do weekends pe zarroor aaya karenge..sat sunday..poora aapke yahaan...okay"??and ashutosh gushed with joy..."thank you sir...kam se kum shuruaat to hui...to next week pucca...mai lene aajaaoonga friday nite..."!!as col verma shook hands with ashu...nidhi silently wiped her tears,..tears of joy, of fulfillment...of love..how could dr ashutosh know of her desires..that she herself did not really know...probably that is what made him so special...

Guests began to come in..neighbours, mr n mrs sharma, mr n mrs khanna, dr dubey, dr sudhir nanda n ahaana, brigadier kulwant ,dr ranganath anji n khushi...n many others...a total of about 100 people.col verma had planned everything v thoughtfully..each detail had been taken care of...and at sharp 8..a big cake arrived..with chocolate topping and icing.."happy anniversary..ashutosh n nidhi"!!a lil embarrassed ashutosh n a beamimg nidhi ..came to cut it,..only to be interrupted by lil nishu..and ashu lifted him as they cut the cake and fed him...followed by the usual joy of congrats n felicitations...as shyama aunty fed nishu..n khushi...as the claps died ..mrs khanna remarked"bhai aahib aapne to bilkul silver jubilee ki tarah party ki hai..Kya baat hai"!!another neighbour...one who had always disliked the success of nidhi ashutosh relation remarked"achcha to hai...kyunki silver jubilee tak to..damaadji sattar baras ke ho jaayenge...tab kya khaak party karenge..."nidhi 's hand stiffened...dadi bua bit her lip...col verma seemed embarrassed...but dr ashutosh was relaxed...he replied in his own dignified way.."mam..humari silver jubilee per main satter ka nahi sirf 67 ka hoonga...aur party to zuroor karenge...agar aap theek rahin to aaiyega..please..aur haan..pyaar hi ek aisi cheez hai jo waqt ke saath aur jawaan hoti hai...so..jab tak rahenge anniversary manaayenge...kyun nidhi"??n nidhi ..barely able to speak..just shook her head...as dr dubey ..clapped...to be joined by others...as food was laid n friends were pressing ashutosh for a song, nidhi called the guests n family...
"Doston...aaj bahut special din hai..kyunki do aur dil mil rahe hain...aur chupke chupke nahi...sabke saamne..humaare pyaare chote sarkaar aur maxi dsouza..aaj unki sagaai hai..."and anji brought in maxi ..while dr ashutosh guided chote sarkaar...as nidhi gave them the rings n as they exchanged...col verma dadibua..solankis clapped...followed by the guests..as cs and maxi touched baba..kaka dadibuas feet..n were hugged by ashutosh n armaan..and finally col verma said"aaj ka din bahut special hai...verma aur mathiur family ke liye...and now ..lets not forget..dr ashutosh has to sing...bhai ashutosh..gaana nahi..to khaana nahi"!!!!

Dr ashutosh sat at the lovely woodden piano...and as he sat...he looked up...looking at that lovely face in the crowd..his nidhi..standing with baba...col verma..dadi bua..armaan n nishu ..with kaka..cs n maxi..ashu cleared his throat and spoke..."yeh gaana hai ..humaare parivaar ke liye..baba..col verma kaka..armaan ke liye..cs aur maxi ke liye...nishu ke liye and ...nidhi ke liye..jisne mujhe rishton ka...family ka sukh diya...mujhe mera ghar diya..."
AATI RAHENGI BAHAAREIN...JAATI RAHENGI BAHAAREIN..
DIL KI NAZAR SE DEKHO...DUNIYA SADA HI HASEEN HAI..
(He looked at nidhi..signalling her with his eyes to come close...as she did...n held his shoulder...he sang)
TUM JO MILE HO TO DIL KO YAQUEEN HAI..
DHARTI PE SWARG JO HAI TO YAHEEN HAI...
LEKE AAYE YOUN..HAR NAYA DIN..ZINDAGI...
(Ashutosh got up..holding nidhi..he moved to the family...n samg)
TUMSE JO HAIN JEEWAN ME SAHAARE..
JAHAAN JAAYE NAZARE WAHI HAI NAZAARE..
LEKE AAYEGI HUR NAYEE BAHAAR EK NAYA PYAAR AUR KHUSHI...
and as nishu hugged him...the song ended with a thundrous applause...

As the dinner was served..ashutosh chatted with col verma's friends , neighbours..even mr khanna..who was apologetic about his wife..but ashu was gracious as he said"arre khanna sahib..i have got used to all this...mujhe bura nahi lagta..sorelax n enjoy the dinner"!!ashutosh joined dadi bua and shyama aunty..shyama aunty was saying"aaye nahi..kya karein..."ashutosh asked "kiski baat ho rahi hai ..dadi bua"shyama answered"dr ranganath ke parents...abhi tak unhone maaf nahi kiya anji ko...kya karein..."ashutosh nodded and added"chaliye ..ek din chalte hain unke yahaan..khushi ke saath...lets try...ummeed nahi chodni chahiye.."shyama smiled"aap theek keh rahe hain..sach dr ashutosh..aap sab worries..sab mushkilon ka solution hain..."dr ashutosh laughed'"arre nidhi se poochiye..kitni shiquayat karegi..meri.."!!dadi bua smiled..n asked"ab theek to hai nidhi...dukhi to nahi hai"??ashutosh bit his lip..."dadi bua..dukhi to hai..per himmat kar rahi hai...kal se hospital bhi jaayegi..dhyaan to rakhta hoon..per kabhi kabhi...chup si ho jati hai..."dadibua held ashutosh's hands..."daaktar..himmat rakho..kabhi kabhi bajrang bali pareeksha lete hain..."

As the family bid bye..long after the guests had left..and ashutosh held col verma again"sir..yaad rakhiyega..next friday..main aa jaaoonga..and i promise aap logon ko koi dikkat nahi hogi...and very soon i d start building a new wing also...aur infact..mai aur nidhi bhi aaya karenge rehne aapke paas...dadi bua ka paneer mahrani khane"!!!

As dr ashutosh came to the bedroom, nidhi had put nishu to bed..and as ashutosh entered..he looked at her.."hey doc!!kya baat..mazaa aaya"??nidhi smiled"jee...per aapko bura to nahi laga...khanna aunty..."dr ashutosh looked at nidhi..."kuch bura nahi laga...aur yeh to sach hai...i will be 67 jab silver jubilee hogi...tum to 50 bhi nahi hogi...tumhe bura lagega kya"??nidhi smiled...opening the buttons of his tees"aapko lagta hai..mujhe bura lagega??nahi dr ashutosh...humari umr ka faasla..to ek pul ban gaya hai ab..faasla kahaan hai...aur aap mera haath pakad ke chalte rahiye bus...sab mushkile..sab faasle..sab taqleefein khatm ho jaayengi..peeche choot jaayengi..ahenge to bus hum ...aur humaara pyaar..."ashutosh put his arms around hher...holding her tight..caressing her..against his chest..as she spoke on..."aapko kaise pata ki mai apne baba ko miss karti hoon..."ashutosh smiled..patting her"pyaar karta hoon tumse,.tum kab kya chahti ho..sab pata rehta hai..aur sach kahoon..."nidhi looked up..."mai bhi miss karta hoon..dadibua ko..col verma ko..abhi weekends me aayenge..phir dheere dheere shayad rehne lagein...kal se architect ko bhi bulake ghar ke expansion ka bhi plan karoonga..."nidhi bit her lip...ashu held her face..raising his eyebrow.."aur nishu ka study room bhi to banwana hoga..."said ashu...as nidhi closed her eyes...not speaking what she wanted...because ashutosh knew...she was dreaming for another nursery...with pink walls..with barbie dolls...and their own doll..playing there...ashutosh did not say anthing...he just squeezed nidhi in his arms..sharing her dream..her desire...her hope..but much more than that..he wanted his nidhi smiling...blooming...as ashu lay down..nidhi in his arms...he did not know whether their cherished dream will be fulfilled or not but yes...they d be together..come what may..together..inseparable...holding his life cl8se..he hummed...his thoughts..his hopes..
"Aati rahengi bahaarein..jaati rahengi bahaarein..dil ki nazar se duniya se dekho...duniya sada hi haseen hai.."

**********************
As ashutosh n nidhi slept...in kgh an old drunkard groaned"munna..."

The night seemed very warm..as dr ashutosh lay restless in the bed..nishu had gone off to sleep but nidhi was working on a paper he had asked her to prepare for paediatrics..she d then present it before the lucknow I.M.A. ..her first paper.He could probably not sleep without nidhi being close by...it was not physical yearnimg but the comfort she exuded ,simply by being there...his thoughts travelled to the hospital..to nitu..n her father..how grinding poverty could be, how it could sap childhood away ...n then he thought of the drunkard n the ward...n something stirred in his mind...a forgotten buried memory..dark n sinister...an angry , violent cry from the past "munna".. n dr ashutosh seemed to shudder ..even at this stage,as he suddenly felt the reassiring touch of nidhi..her hand on his chest, she asked"kya baat hai..aap ghabra kyun gaye hain..."ashutosh smiled n said.."kuch nahi ..bus ..nitu ke bare me soch raha tha..kal jaana zuroor uske school..cheque book le jaana"nidhi smiled..."aapki cheque book...wow ..kuch air shopping ker loon"??ashutosh gave a wry smile"kuch bhi le lo..sab tumhara hi to hai..."nidhi understood his serious tone..n putting a hand on his cheek, she said"mai to mazaak kar rahi thi..kuch nahi chahiye mujhe..aap mil gaye..to sab mil gaya.."n she put her head on his chest..kissing the hair on it..as ashutosh sighed n put his arms around her..."aao so jaao..i am tired today..."nidhi nodded..n came..switching off the lights...but a trifle anxious at what was troubling dr ashutosh..she knew there was something indeed...

Nidhi awoke as the alarm rang, it was 5.30.she rushed thru the bath, got ready in a cream sari with a brown blouse ,arranged dr ashutosh's clothes on the sofa, n then emerged..but not brfore sitting beside him for a moment..trying to assess his thoughts..his dreams..his fears n his apprehensions,..she told baba, she had to leave early ..for a "good cause"that dr ashutosh had assigned her to do..n promising to tell the details in the evening, she left carrying her stetho, coat n dr ashutosh's cheque book in her bag , for k.g.h.
As soon as she arrived, nitu was overjoyed to see her..dressed smartly in her grey n white uniform she was sitting besides her father..both waiting gor nidhi..unsure n apprehensive ..but as she entered, their faces lit up n nidhi remarked,"nitu..bag ready??aur tiffin"??nitu looked a lil jaded"mam, bag ready per tiffin to nahi...mai aake kha loongi..aap worry nahi karo"!nidhi smiled n said"arre koi hungry school me jaayega kya...ye lo mai laaye hoon tumhare liye sandwiches...kal water bottle bhi khareed doongi..ab chalo..."n then looking at the father she said"aap chinta nahi karoye..mai sab kuch kar doongi..aur chutti ke baad nitu walk ker yahaan aa jaayegi..paas hi to hai..theek na"??he nodded as he folded his hands n nidhi smiled..n then got up , holding nitu's hand...as nitu smiled n waved"bye baba..."..as nidhi walked...the drunkard thakur turned ...wailing in pain...with the now familiar cry"munnaaa"

Nidhi went to the principal's office n explained the scenario, paid the fees for the entire year n then asked if nitu needed anything else, the principal, a kind lady mrs. Bhargav spoke"dr nidhi, nitu is a v bright kid..if you continue to support her, she will shine.."nidhi smiled n said"mam,just one request..whatever you feel she requires at school, just ring me up..this is my card..n plz dont sympathise with her..she needs our support ..not our sympathy..nd i am sure..with our combined efforts she d do well"as nidhi came out, she patted nitu..took her to the school canteen n gave her 20 rs. "Nitu, jo tumhara man ho khana..every week twice , you can have snacks in the canteen..rest of the time healthy home food..aur haan padhna mehnat se,.,n mind you school se seedhe hospital..baba paas"!!nitu smiled n hugged nidhi..as nidhi felt elated..thinking how happy dr ashutosh would be...

Dr ashutosh was getting up for his rounds when there was a knock on the door "come in"..and in walked aradhanaji.. ashutosh got up "arre aradhanaji aap..kab aayeein u.s se waapas"??aradhanaji smiled"kal hi aayee...came to know aboutnidhi...really sorry...samajh sakti hu kya beeti higi tum dono pe..per ab kaisi hai "??ashutosh almost winced at the wound being touched..but then smiled n replied"theek hai ..abto hospital bhi join ker liya hai...aap ghar aaiye na plz ..baba bahut khush honge..."aradhanaji smiled ..n replied"ghar to zuroor aaoongi per us mathur se milne nahi..apne nishu se milne"!!...

Dr ashitosh completed the round of kids ward n was now about to enter the social service ward...as he saw nidhi hurrying towards him.."aapko hi dhoond rahi thi..nitu ki fees pay ker di..principal se mili..n i let her know that ee r responsible for nitu..so she should contact us..aur haan..usse thoda junk food khane ke liye 20 rs bhi de diye"!! Dr ashutosh smiled n said "good, chalo ab let me check the progress of her father..."dr ashutosh sat n read the reports of nandlal..he still had 2 weeks to go before the cast could be taken off..n it might take more than 1 month before he could ride his rickshaw...dr ashutosh looked thoughtfully...the patient seemed tense"dr sahib..main theek ho jaaoonga na!rickshaw chala paaoonga "??ashutosh smiled"tum..kitna padhe ho..."??"sir b.a. part one ker ke chodna pada...garibi..per ab apni bachchi ko padhana chahta hoon..tabhi to rickshaw chalana bahut zuroori hai...agar mai apaahij hogaya to meri nitu to dar dar bhatkegi..."ashutosh patted n reassured"dont worry...thoda sa time lagega..per bilkul theek ho jaaoge..aur nitu to ab dr nidhi ki zimmedari hai..kum se kum tab tak jab tak tum phir se kamaane na lago.." as ashutosh held the poor man's held...n nidhi smiled like a school girl..the patient on the next bed turned..moaning ..and nidhi pointed to dr ashutosh.."yehi hain..jinke baare me ..."rest of the sentence was lost in the growl of the patient as he threw away the medicine that luxmi vai was trying to administer ..n shouted" munna...marr gaya kya...daarooo" n as the old man turned...dr ashutosh got up..his face seemed to have lost its colour momentarily..but only to be replaced woth redness in his eyes...dr ashitosh got up n walked yo him..holding his papers..reading them..n then looking at the old man...as he stood..for a moment thinking...nidhi looked at him..his eyes having a mixed colour of pain n anger...as the man shouted again"thakur raghuvendra ko intezaar karwate ho...kahaan hai mera chabuk...munna teri to khaal udher doonga..aaj" n as the patient coughed violently, dr ashutosh looked at luxmi bai "dawa deejiye ""sir subah se teen baar phenk chuke hain..itna gussa hai...ufff"dr ashutosh stood as the old man tried to struggle free from luxmi bai..n then finally ashutosh took the pills , pushed them in his mouth n forced water down..finally warning in a voice that seemed to chill nidhi"thakur raghuvendra..chup chaap ilaaj karwaaiye...samajh gaye..."??the old man wriggled free n shouted"munna...daarooo" dr ashutosh seemed at the end of his patience n shouted"marr gaya munna...samjhe??chup chaap dawa khaiye ..nahi to phinkwa doonga hospital se baahar...jaise..." n he got up to storm out ..shouting "luxmi bai..mere cabin me aaiye" nidhi was thunderstruck...she had never seen dr ashutosh get so angry on a patient...she lookd at luxmi bai n then at the angry thakur...completely nonplussed..as she woke out of her thoughts to hear her name being announced to go to the children's ward immiediately...she hurried off as luxmi bai entered ashutosh's cabin...

"Dr ashutosh was standing next to the window as luxmi bai said for the third time"sir,.."??he finally looked around "oh luxmi bai..mai chahta hoon aap us patient ke saath strict rehe..and agar trouble karte hain to mujhe bulaaoye...dr deepak jab aayein to kahiyega mujhse mile...aur ..aur dr nidhi ...ya aur kisi lady dr ki koi zurorarat nahi hai..dr deepak aur mai handle kar lenge..."luxmi bai nodded"aur kuch sir..."??ashutosh added"haan..us bachchi..nitu ka khayal rakhiyega..kisi bhi cheez ki zuroorat ho to dr nidhi ko kahiyega plz" luxmi bai wiyhdrew as dr ashutosh turned to the window again...

Nidhi could hear an agitated ashutosh shout on somebody in his cabin...as she was about to enter in the evening..but refrained...n walked around to bump into nitu..."mam...thank you , bahut maza aaya..mujhe teen "excellent"mile aur maine ice cream khayi..thank you..."nidhi smiled n patted her.."good, ab jaao aur padho..problem ho to nurse ko bolna...ok..dinner coupons to hain na"??nitu smiled"yes mam abhi to dher saare coupons hain..itna khana mai nahi kha sakti...baba kehte hain aadat bigad jaayegi..."nidhi held her...her eyes moist "nitu..khaane pe koi kamee nahi...tum bas padho aur good girl bano..promise"??the lil girl put her hand on nidhi's and repeated .."promise"!!As she walked back, she saw dr deepak emerging from dr ashutosh's cabin..down cast"kya hua..dr deepak"??"kuch nahi bus dr hardstone is back..."

Nidhi entered the cabin...dr ashutosh got up..."chalo" nidhi nodded quietly..feeling the storm beneath the quiet surface...Dr ashutosh drove in complete silence...and as they entered home baba was sitting in the hall teaching nishu to count n play abacus..he smiled"aaja ashu..dekh nishu 5 tak ginta hai..."ashu sat..but his mind seemed elsewheere ..baba looked up at nidhi..was there a fight..but he could make out..it was something else...dr ashutosh patted nishu n went into his room...nidhi entered with a cup of tea...touching his shoulder tentaviely ..he looked up .."chai pee leejiye...sar dabaa doon??thak gaye hain kya??"ashutosh looked beyond nidhi...n then answered"nahi...bus thodi der akela chod do plz..tum jaao nishu ke paas...aur lights off ker dena "nidhi did not argue...his voice had an angst that she had not heard or felt before...she closed the door n came out..baba asked"kya baat hai beta"??"kuch nahi baba..i feel bahut thak gaye hain...haan ..aaiye main aapko batati hoon us good cause ke baare me"n nidhi narrated the entire course of events to baba...about nitu n how she had paid her fee at the behest of ashu...baba did not smile..he turned v serious..."nidhi...ho sakta hai..us gharib bachchi ko dekh ker ashu ko apna yateem bachpan yaad aagaya ho...aakhir jab mai usse laaya to woh koi 12 saal ka raha hoga...aur sach kahoon to usne mujhe kuch kabhi nahi kaha ..ya share kiya apni zindagi...pehle ki zindagi ke bare mein...main jaanta hoon..uske dil me abhi bhi kuch kamre hain jo andhere hain ..jahaan tak mere pyaar ki kiran nahi pahunch paaye...shaayad..."nidhi looked at baba..a lil sad ..a lil disappointed"nahi baba , aisa nahi hai..woh jitna aapse pyaar karte hain utna kisi se nahi..shayad mujhse air nishu se bhi nahi..",.."beta jaanta hoon...per yeh bhi sach hai..ki apne andheron me..apni guzri taqleefon ki baat woh nahi karta...woh uss dard bhare safar me aaj bhi akela hai..tanha hai..."

Nidhi entered the room to call dr ashutosh for dinner...he was awake..it seemed..but the room was pitch dark..as nidhi felt her way ..only to stumble against the tablen fall...dr ashutosh immediately switched on the lights..n came to her..holding her..the familiar worry in his eyes..nidhi got up"kuch nahi hua..bus andhere me gir padi..."dr ashutosh..looked at her..n said..in a firm pacific voice.."sorry nidhi..main tumhe apne andheron me nahi bhatakne doonga...aur nahi chot pahunchne doonga...never...chalo..roshni mei..baba nishu wait kar rahe honge..."nidhi nodded..hoping she could open up the dark corners of his past that still haunted him...

When nidhi awoke the next morning, dr ashutosh had already got up, she looked at the watch, it was just 6.30 where was he??she quickly wore her gown n came out...but he wasnt around..neither in the lawn...nor the kitchen..baba had gone for his walk n armaan was still sleeping..finally nidhi came in and peeped in nishu's nursery,and there he was...all dressed for the hospital..hands in his pockets n gazing at nishu intently..as nidhi stood, she saw him caress nishu's hair in the most tender way..nidhi could feel something amiss but could not comprehend what...she withdrew...respecting dr ashutosh's privacy with his son...their son.

At the breakfast table , baba was observing ashutosh ..n then finally started conversation,"ashu..pata hai aradhana aa gayee hai waapas..."dr ashutosh smiled"jee, kal mili thi mujhse..maine kaha ki ghar aaiye.."baba smiled n said"beta, zindagi bhi kitni ajeeb hai na...jab koi jaata hai..to dil toot jaata hai..aur apno ki waapsi..sab gum bhula deti hai..."dr ashutosh had a sad bitter look on his face...n replied..rather seemed to say to himself.."kahaan baba...kuch logo ki waapsi to sukh chaiin chcheen leti hain..."nidhi looked at dr ashutosh ..but his gaze was lost...armaan nudhed.."naashta ker na..kya subah subah philosophy leke baith gayaa.."dr ashutosh smiled..n said"i think for once, you are absolutely right armaan"armaan smiled n said"meri jaan, i am always right...achcha guys mujhe aaj raat ki flight se delhi jaana hai..fashion week ke liye..so ab 4 din baad milenge..n mind you..mere nishu ko koi daantega nahi.."and armaan seemed serious'"i wonder kaise rahoonga mai 4 din uske bina..."ashutosh patted him "ab armaan tu philosophical ho raha hai..mai nahi"!!!nidhi got up as she could hear nishu calling her, maxi brought him out and as nidhi called him, hre ran into the open arms of armaan..as armaan held him n closed his eyes...n then said"hey nishu, papa mamma ko bye bol..nahi to royenge"!!n nishu wriggled out n ran to nidhi n ashu...as the couple left, armaan could be heard "chal beta..masti karte hain kuch der..."

As ashutosh drove, he seemed again engulfed in his thoughts...almost oblivious that nidhi was with him...finally she spoke"lunch pe milenge..."??ashu nodded..n added"nitu ke paas sufficient coupons hain na"??nidhi smiled"jee, aap worry nahi kariye..bus uske father ke liye kuch..."ashutosh added"yes..yaad hai..dekhta hoon.."as nidhi got down n walked to the duty schedule..she saw dr ashutosh walk to the ward where the intruiging thakur lay...nidhi saw her duty as an assistant to dr gandhi in a surgery..it d be a long one..she came to dr ashutosh's cabin and wrote a note"long surgery,am assisting dr gandhi..plz dont wait at lunch..see u:)"n then took out a rose from his flower vas and kept it onthe note...like she used to put...long time back...

Dr ashutosh came to bed no.7 and asked the nurse"medicine li patient ne"??"jee sir lekin zabardasti karni padi...do baar blood vomit hui..maine chart me likha hai..."dr ashutosh was reading the chart..as the frail thakur tirned...ashutosh looked up..n then with a bitter smile asked"kyabaat hai...aaj aap apne munna ko yaad nahi kar rahe"??thakur seemed to smile too but then with his usual bitterness added"kahi marr gayaa lagta hai...mile to khabar loon"dr ashutosh seemed to..wince at the distant memory of being lashed...hard..n abused in choicest bad words...he tirned away..trying not to remember...but sad unhappy memories are like a swarm of bees..the more u try to evade them, the more they follow you
Dr ashutosh went thru the rest of the round ..but he had to make a conscious efgort toremain focussed...whenhe finally reached his cabin, it was 1.50..he looked at the rose...n nidhi's note...with a wry smile he slumped into his chair ...n then called for dr deepak.As dr deepak entered..ashutosh signalled him to sit..n asked"dr deepak..what is your take on bed no.7.."??"oh sir..you mean that drunken thakur"??dr ashutosh seemed surprisingly hurt...he raised his eyebrow n replied"dr deepak , he has a name..raghuvendra pratap singh..."and then probably realising his strange reaction, came to the point"so, do u feel liver transpant or surgery can save him"??dr deepak shook his head"no sir, i n dr gandhi have bothlooked at all the details..the liver is 95%damaged n there is t.b too...so transplant is not possible..frankly the prognosis is pretty bad..he is not going to last more than a few days...a week maybe..."dr ashutosh closed his eyes for a moment ..as dr deepak looked at him,dr ashutosh sighed n continued"whatever..whether its a day or a week..see that he remains comfortable..n yes,.please put nandlal on tractions n physiotherapy..from tomorrow..i shall personally monitor his progress"
Dr ranganath entered ashutosh's cabin..ashutosh was standing near the window...ranganath spoke"sir..."ashu looked up..managing a smile"so dr ranganath..how are things ..how is anji n lil khushi..."dr ranganath smiled"all well sir...khushi is doing great...anji ko din bhar busy rakhti hai..i just wish..."ashutosh looked at dr ranganath"kya dr ranganath...do u still miss not having ur own..."ranganth shook his head"no sir, not at all..to tell u the truth..hum to bhool gaye hain ki khushi is not our flesh n blood...she has filled our void..n the inspiration is your n dr mathuir's relationship...so special...bus kabhi kabhi dukh hota hai ki agar maa babuji maan jaate to...woh bhi khushi mei apni poti dekhte..but it doesnt seem possible...anyway , sir there is a short surgery ..at 4..karenge na aap"??ashu nodded"offcourse..ranganath i will do it"As dr ranganath withdrew, his words resonated in ashutosh's mind n heart"your relationship with dr mathur is so special...an inspiration..."dr ashutosh sighed as he remembered ...n went down that memory lane...it was 34 years back...that baba had got him home...a gawky ..unsure hungry boy of 12...ashutosh did not recall the date but he remembered it had been winters...early winters..the village where he roamed ..homeless n houseless had been hit by an epidemic..people were dying...and ashutosh had seen white vans with drs..coming to treat people...how he had wished he could be one of them...he recalled, how hecarried young children in his arms to the drs...and a kind middle aged dr had looked at him with concern...and then as ashutosh had looked hungrily at the food thrown in the garbage dump...he had desired it...he had not eaten for more than 2 days...the tea shop owner where he cleaned , had shut the shop n fled to save himself...n there was none else...but then..ashu had been stopped by a call he could never forget...a call of love ..of concern n kindness"beta..."a shocked ashu had stared at the dr in his white coat...The dr had walked out n held his hand..taking him inside.."aa beta..bhookh lagi hai..le kha...khana kha"n a dazed ashu had been served a meal...some thing he had not had for ages...but dr ashutosh smiled sadly as he recalled, how he had turned his face away..even though he had wanted to devour the meal...the dr had touched his face..n spoken"kya baat hai..."n ashu had answered"aaj aap de doge..kal se to phir...kachre me se hi ..." n the dr had hugged him"na beta na..aisa na soch...pehle kha plz"n had encouraged ashu to eat..soon after dr had called a village elder to ask him about ashu..n he had answered"munna ..munna hai ye...pata nahi kahaan ka hai...do saal se hai..yahaan...chai ki dukaan pe bartan saaf karta hai...aur haan school ke baahar baith kar master jo bachchon ko padhaate hain woh sunta hai...anaath hai bechara..."nthe dr had held munna close...n said ..to him n to himself"aaj se nahi hai anaath...dr mathur...dr mathur ka beta hai...beta padhega??chalega mere saath..mere ghar..mai padhaaoonga tujhe"and as a confused ashu had said yes...dr hugged him...that was the moment that marked the begining of an inseparable bond between ashu n dr mathur...
Dr ashutosh sat in his chair..n remembered that drive to the big house.."lucknow hai yeh..yehi rahenge hum..aur kal se school jaaoge tum..jaaoge na??achcha batao kya banoge bade hoker"??and a distraught ashu had said"doctor...aapki tarah..saahib"and dr mathur had drawn him close to say"baba...baba bulaao mujhe..dil taras gaya sunne ko ...koi hai hi nahi pukaarne waala"and from that moment he had got his baba...forever...and when heeraman kaka helped him get ready into nrew clothes the next day...ashu had asked him..."yeh baba...doctor sahib...daaroo to nahi peete"??n kaka had laughed"buddhu..kyun poochta hai..dr mathur hain..lucknow ke sabse bade dr..sharaab ko haath bhi nahi lagaate"...n kaka must have seen a strange relief onthe child's face for he told baba "pooch raha tha yeh ki aap peete to nahi"!!!n baba had seemed worried"kyun beta..koi peeta tha tumhaare ghar me..yaad hai "??but he had just turned away...from earlier memories...bruises...abuses..Baba had not pressed..but when he took him to the school, he said"kya naam likhwaaoon..."munna"??n the boy whispered"nahi..."baba smiled a sad smile n asked"achcha...ASHUTOSH kaisa rahega...mai to ASHU bulaaoonga...ASHU"n from that split second he had become baba's ashu...munna was dead...almost..Ashutosh always performed v well at school, always topping..n baba was a true father figure...though a loner..a widower..he n kaka tried to amuse ashu, played with him...taught himmusic...dr ashutosh looked at his fingers.. remembered how baba had held them ..the first time he played violin..n said"teri ungliyaan to ek surgeon ki hain..you should be a surgeon..."The journey thru school,medical college was smooth...and the bond with baba...they truly became inseparable..n yet...n yet..on rainy wild nights...lil ashu would get up from sleep...in fear...scared that some shadow of his dark past might reappear...n today...after soo many years...his fears had come true...ashutosh's brutal past lay coughingblood on bed no.7 in his oen hospital...ashutosh closed his eyes...
"Dr ashutosh...kahaan khoye rehte hain..."??ot was nidhi, back from her surgery.."khana khaya??nahi??v bad..per baat kya hai aajkal..kahin koi aur...to nahi..meri competitor"???she deliberately tried to make him smile...but his smile was jaded..."tumhe lagta hai kya...aisa bhi ho sakta hai bhala"??nidhi smiled"mai to mazak kar rahi thi..aap serious ho gaye...chaliye khaane..i am starving...ab mai pregnant nahi hoon to meri parwaah nahi karenge kya..."?? Nidhi bit her lip..at what she had uttered...regretting deeply..ashutosh got up...looked at her..his eyes in a deep gloom.."aaj kaha so kahaa...phir kabhi sochna bhi mat..."
In the evening, as they entered home,nishu n baba were trying to teach kaka ..how to operate the remote of the new l.e,d.in the hall while maxi wascooking...as kaka seemed not to understand..baba exclaimed"ufff hiraman" n nishu imitated"ufff...hi..."n nidhi caught him..."shhh!!kaka..bolo kaka" n lil nishu smiled"ufff kakaji"!!!!n all laughed...As nidhi took nishu inside, baba returned to his bedroom to lie down.. n listen to old songs on radio...as he closed his eyes..he felt the familiar touch..."ashu..kya baat ...nishu ke paas ja..mai to bus aaraam kar raha hoon...abhi aaoonga baahar...tu ja beta"but dr ashutosh did not go...instead he sat near baba...n said"baba..yaad hai bachpan me jab mai aapki maalish kiya karta tha...to aap ..."baba smiled"haan..to me kehta tha..ki 'main ek honewale neurosirgeon se maalish karwa raha hoon'...yaad hai beta..tere saathka her ek lamha yaad hai..my son"!!dr ashutosh stood behind and gently began to massagebaba's hair...as baba exclaimed"arre kya karraha hai...ab to tu top neuirosurgeon bhi hai..aur kgh ka maalik bhi...ab to...nahi kar"ashu gulped..n said"kuch bhi bann jaaoon...per rahoonga to aapka beta hi ...hai nababa...aapka ashu"
As nidhi came to call them for dinner..she stood transfixed at the door...imbibing in her soul..the unsaid n often unexpressed love between dr ashutosh n baba...his baba...his world...nidhi looked on...
Baba smiledn closed his eyes..his hand patting ashu's fingers...as they rubbed thru baba's hair...reiterating the bond..the special unique bond...that was far beyond the narrow walls of D.N.A.strands...baban ashu...ashu n baba..incomplete without each other...inseparable...father n son...forever...
The song playing on the radio..sealed the moment..
MERE BAAD BHI ISS DUNIYA ME ,ZINDA MERA NAAM RAHEGA
JO BHI TUJHKO DEKHEGA, TUJHE MERA LAAL KAHEGA
TERE ROOP ME MIL JAAYEGA , MUJHKO JEEVAN DOBAARA..
MERA NAAM KAREGA ROSHAN JAG ME MERA RAJDULARA...