AshNi Bas AshNi..Story So Far..NO COMMENTS PLEASE - Page 8

It was saturday evening,all the cards had been distributed for nishu's birthday..dr ashutosh n niidhi had themselves gone to invite guests n baba too had gone to col verma,solankis n his friends..aradhana ji was due to land today ,specially for the bday..The card read..
Dr mathur solicits the pleasure of your company
On the joyous occasion of the first birthday
Of his grandson
ATEET
(Son of dr ashutosh n dr nidhi )
At his residence mathur niwas
On 3 february at 7 p.m.
Kindly grace n bless the child

R.S.V.P
Armaan mallik

Everything seemed set as dr ashutosh came back from a round of the hospital n looked around..no one was visible.He came in n could hear nishu laughing..he went towards the sound..baba n nishu were playing in baba's room..as baba saw ashu,he smiled"aaja ashu,nidhi gayee hai armaan ke saath ,cateres ke yahaan..crockery decide karne..aati hi hogi..tu bata..sab theek"??ashu smiled"jee baba..aap kyakar rahe hain..yeh nishu tung kar raha hai aapko"??baba looked at nishu..n held him close to his heart.."jaanta hai...ashu,nishu to bus life line hai meri...jabse aaya hai..sab taraf hunsi khushi hai...mera pota..mera laadla..."ashu noticed how comfortable nishu was in baba's lap..smiling,playing with his kurta buttons.."tujhe yaad hai..jab mujhe brain tumor hua tha...mujhe koi khaas dukh nahi tha..lagta tha zindagi ke sab kaam poore ho gaye...jaane ka waqt hai..per ab..ab to mujhe apne nishu ke liye jeena hai..apne ashutosh nidhi ki zindagi me bahaar dekhni hai...ab nahi maroonga mai..nishu ki shaadi tak...kyu nishu"??ashutosh looked on..and then found words"baba..nishu me mai aona bachpan to jee hi raha hoon..per aapka bhi woh rukh dekh raha hoon...jo aaj tak nahi dekha tha..."baba patted ashutosh n said"beta..pote poti cheez hi aisi hain..apne bachchon se zyaada kareeb hote hain..woh kehtehain na mool se byaaj pyaara hota hai..to mujhe to mera nishu sabse pyaara hai.."n then looking at ashutosh he said"sach ashu..nidhi ne humaara ghar aabaad kar diya..teri to duniya hi badal di...ab to dhoondne se bhi nahi milega woh akela..khoya khoya sa ashutosh..kyu nishu.."??nishu was now walking on the floor ..and ashutosh's eyes filled with love n pride on seeing him...his son..nishu looked up..n caught ashu's hand...and baba took nishu's other hand...the three generations of mathur niwaas stood together..incomplete without each other...ashutosh picked up nishu and looked at baba.."baba..nishu ne suchmuch duniya badal di...ab to iski hunsi..iska rona..din raat isi ka khayaal rehta hai...jab isse gode me leta hoon to lagta hai...ki hur kami poori ho gayee..."nishu wriggled down n ran to pull a new toy that armaan had bought for him.."pa..pa,.."n ashu had to follow him..obediently..as baba looked on..a satisfied smile on his face..
Nidhi n armaan returned,followed by the truck with crockery,stoves etc..as baba emerged n said"beta ,yeh sab mai aur armaan sambhaal lenge..tu nishu ko dekh..."armaan smiled n added"nishu se zyaada..ashu ko "!!At dinner,baba briefed heeraman kaka n maxi about the events,they had to go to the orphanage in the morning,then pooja,n thereafter jeevan sandhya.The evening party d start at 7 so they all should be ready by 6.nidhi smiled"baba aap tension nahi lein..sab ho jaayega..aapko menu to bataana bhool hi gayee party ka..dum aaloo,paneer mahraani..paalak paneer,gobhi matter..aapki favourite,hare chane..dr ashutosh ke favourite..pulao,naan poori..chocolates "baba was not amused"but nidhi beta..mithaai"??nidhi laughed ,knowing baba's weakness for sweets"pehle to cake hai..mickey mouse shape mei..aur chocolates..n icecream..."as baba seemed irritated n ashu controlled his smile ,nidhi finally said"aur...gaajar hulwa..and ..aapki favourite jalebi,imarti aur rabri..."!!!!"WAH BHAI WAH"baba's face shone with joy as he kissed nishu..nidhi added"yeh bhala ho sakta tha kya ki aapki favourite cheez na ho.."baba called nidhi by the hands..n as she came,he hugged her.."nidhi..o nidhi meri bachchi..tu ne hum sabki zindagi badal di...roshan kar diya ghar..."nidhi laughed"jalebi aur rabri se"??baba turned serious .."nahi nidhi...apni muskuraahaton se..ashu ke aur apne saath se..rishton se..aur nishu se..is makaan ko ghar bana diya..."armaan looked at the twosome n said"bhai log,reunion ke baad,apne apne kapde check kar lein..mere bhateeje ki party me ill dressed nahi aaye koi..and ashu..piano lagwa raha hoon..ganaa gana hoga..nakhre nahi..."nidhi winked"nahi to mai gaa doongi"armaan retorted'"yeh zulm na karna ..nidhi nahi to sab mehmaan bhaag jaayenge..khaana waste hoga"n as nidhi pouted..armaan n ashu laughed n the moonlight of satisfaction n bliss showered over their home...

Nidhi settled nishu early..she knew he d have a long field day tomorrow...nidhi came n sat near dr ashutosh..her hands on his chest.."yaad hai aapko..pichle saal ki 3 feb..humaari zindagi ka behtareen din...kaisa tha nishu..jab aapne dekha tha pehli baar..maine to kitne ghante baad dekha tha..."ashutosh played with the diamond bangles that she always wore.."kya bataaoon...laga tha ki god me chaand aa gaya..per phir.."nidhi prodded"phir kya"???"phir tum itni taqleef me jothi...i cant ever forget..itni bleeding..ek dum safed thi..."nidhi came closer"darr laga tha...aapko".."hu..bahut darr laga tha..agar mai tumhe kho deta to apne aapko kabhi muaaf nahi kar paata.."nidhi rested her head on his chest"dr ashutosh ..kyu karte hain itna pyaar mujhse..."ashutosh did not answer..he just put his arms around her n ran his fingers in her long silky hair...she looked up at him...removed his spechs..n he slowly but surely claimed her lips..his kiss throbbing with passion desire commitment love..n a promise..a promise of a tomorrow together..a life with each other..for each other...

Dr ashutosh was woken from deep slumber by the sudden sound of a utensil crashing...he looked up,nidhi was missing,he rushed to the kitchen ..n there was nidhi..all bathed n fresh in a yellow churidaar kurta..standing on a high stool n trying to take out plates from the top shelf..as ashutosh looked half irritated half amused..nidhi bent further away,trying to pull something n the stool tilted n she sceeched"ooouuuccchhh"cloing her eyes,expecting to land on the hard kitchen floor..instead she landed in strong ,protective..firm arms of her husband..she slowly opened her eyes to find dr ashutosh holding her...sainyaan...just then baba n armaan too came.."kya..hu..."and an embarrassed ashutosh put nidhi down"woh kuch nahi baba,shaayad nidhi circus me jaane ki practise kar rahi thi..maine pakad liya" nidhi pouted ,"nahi baba..mai khaana air prasad bana rahi thi..bartan upar the..so..."ashutosh asked"khana,..subah 5 baje??".."jee haan..dekhiye maine 50 tiffins pack kar liye hain anaathaalay ke liyye..matar gobhi paneer,mithai chocolates..sab kuch..aur pooja ka halwa..charnamrit sab ready hai..."ashu's brow furrowed"par maxi aur kaka bhi to hain..""nahi dr ashutosh..un bachchon ko mai khud bana ke dena chahti thi...air pooja ka.."baba interrupted"haan beta..pooja ka samaan to ghar ki luxmi hi banati hai...jeeti reh beta..per ab aaraam kar..maxi uth gayee..dekh heeraman bhi aa gaya.."

At 6.30,nidhi woke nishu up..n as he rubbed his large eyes sleepily,nidhi got him to their bed and touched ashutosh's shoulder..he looked up..n held nishu..ad both nidhi and ashutosh kissed him,nishu was amused..nidhi arranged his bath,took out his new yellow sweater with fruits logos n blue jeans..ashutosh got him to bathe n as nishu played..nidhi could see dr ashutosh touching his lil fingers..toes..his nose..n then he picked him up .wrapped in a towel n got him to bed,nidhi applied oil ..her hands feeling the creation of their love..the fibre of their union...as ashutosh made him wear socks,nishu kept pulling them out n finally an exasperated ashu gave up..nidhi smiled,sat..distracted nishu in the clap game n signalled to ashu...within minutes mission was accomplished..nidhi smiled"jaanti hoon..isse aur iske papa..dono ko handle karna.."nishu ran out n banged armaan's door .."cha ta"he cried in his sweet lisp..as a sleepy armaan opened the door n picked him up..."wow meri jaan!!aaj to mera nishu chchaa jaayega"baba emerged n nidhi made lil nishu touch baba's feet..baba picked him up..emotional..with his eyes moist he said"jug jug jeeyo mere bachche..khoob phoolo phalo..."n as he looked proudly at ashu,he added"aur sabse bade neurosurgeon bano...apne baba air paoa ki tarah..mathur family ki teen generations hongi neurosurgery mei..the best"nishu clapped n got down to play with his favourite truck...
At 7 sharp,baba ,nidhi,ashutosh with nishu left for the orphanage ,armaan staued back for the pooja arrangements..as they entered,the manager welcomed them,ashutosh got the stuff,the lunch boxes,balloons n some toys...the children came..43 in total..all boys between the age of 3 to 14..as baba interacted with them,nidhi saw the loneliness,the gloom in their eyes,..the vacuum in their livesshe looked at dr ashutosh..he too must have been one of them..nidhi closed her eyes for a moment as she saw ashutosh a little lost...she went n picked the young child..n kissed him,got him to ashutosh who was holding nishu...ashu looked at the child n then his gaze travelled to nishu...the contrast between his own childhood n his son's...ashu patted the baby n then as the children sat in a line,nidhi served them food..they ate in a well mannered way but it was evident they were enjoying the delicacies..The manager talked to ashutosh."dr sahib,chahte to hum bhi hain..ki best de..oer funds ki kami hai...ab woh ladka..anil.."said the manager pointing to a boy of about13,"bahut bright hai..per kahaan se padhaaoon..sach to yeh hai..ki in logo ko khana kapda de sakoon wahi bahut hai..."ashutosh looked at baba..n spoke"adoption nahi hota..koi in bachchon ko..."manager smiled"sir aatein hain log..per sabko chota bachcha chahiye..phir gora chitta sundar...bechara jo saanwla hai..uski kismat..."baba looked at ashutosh..recalling the awkward 10 odd year old he was when baba took him...he still had fresh in his memory how ashu had licked every morsel off his plate ..while heeraman had stood..tears in his eyes...Dr ashutosh collected himself n asked"aapko education ke liye annually kitna fund aur chahiye.."the manager...a nice kind middle aged man went in n got his register..showed it to ashutosh.."kareeban 60huzaar"ashutosh gave nishu to baba,went to his car to get his cheque book..n wrote out a cheque of one lakh rs."manager sahib..hur saal mai itni hi raquam deta rahoonga.par kisi bhi bachche ki padhaai na ruke..kaun jaane inme se koi scientist,teacher ya phir..neurosurgeon ban jaaye,.."said ashutosh..looking at baba..the benevolent man who had changed ashu's life...given him love education secrity...name ..fame...just then,ashutosh felt nidhi's gaze...he looked at her..she was staring at the cheque in his hand...as the manager accepted the cheque..nidhi looked away,while driving back..nidhi was quiet..solemn...as nishu played in baba's lap..

"Nidhi suno to idhar"cried ashutosh as nidhi was arranging for the pooja...she went in"jee..kahiye"dr ashutosh was sitting on his study chair...as nidhi went near..he held her hand..looking at her ,he spoke"naaraaz ho nidhi...??maine ek laakh jo de diya un bachchon ko...??nidhi ..tumne poocha nahi kabhi..na maine bataaya..my salary is 10 lakhs a month..phir pehle ke itne investments..baba ki property..tumhaare aur nishu ke liye kaafi hai..dont feel insecure..mujhe kuch ho bhi gaya to ,tumhe koi kami nahi hogi kabhi..i promise.."nidhi put her hand on his lips.."kya keh rahe hain...aap,kyu laga mai naaraaz hoon..maineaapse pyaar kiya hai..aapki property ya salary se nahi...aur aapko kuch nahi hoga...mujh se pehle..never say that again...nishu ko apne papa ka pyaar..unki guidance chahiye..jaaydaad nahi.."ashutosh pressed her hand"to phir wahaan..itni serious kyu thi..cheque dekh ke"??nidhi looked thoughtfull n said"kyunki mai dekh rahi thi aapka bachxhpan..aapka akelapan..aapki kaali yaadein...mujhe wahaan hurek chehre me aap dikh rahe the...aur ye humesha yaad rakhiye..mai poori tarah se aapke saath hoon..sachchi pooja to aap kar aayei hain dr ashutosh...un bachchon ke udaas chehron pe muskuraahat laake...i am soo proud of you.."ashutosh kept gazing at nidhi...her maturity beyond her years..her deep understanding,her sensitivity..he got up..put his hands on her shoulders n murmured"thanks nidhi..thanks a lot"

Solankis,col verma,dadi bua,chote sarkar ,anji dr ranganath n a cute lioking khushi in lehnga arrived for the pooja.dr ashutosh emerged in his white kurta pyjama,a shawl over his shoulders n nishu in his arms..nidhi came out in a light yellow sari..with her solitairre tops..sindoor adorning her maang..nishu sat in ashu's lap as baba armaan sat close by..lil khushi too wanted to come..n as baba said"aaja beta..tu bhi aa"she ran to sit with nishu...dadi bua looked at them n whispered to shyaama"bus ab bhagwaan ek beti de de nidhi ko"...the pooja was not very long and as ptji applied teeka..all stood up for the arti,ashutosh handing nishu to col verma,n calling him n dadi bua to lead...shyama aunty smiled..as she recalled how all had predicted the relationship to be doomed..ashu nidhi had proven everyone wrong...dr ashutosh n nidhi touched the feet of elders..n nidhi moved on to touch armaan's feet"kya kar rahi hai nidhi..."nidhi wiped her tears"wahi kar rahi hoon jo karna chahiye...yeh mai aur dr ashutosh hi jaante hain ke aap kya hain humaare liye..."an emotional armaan hugged nidhi...baba reminded everyone to come on time in the evening...as ashutosh looked at cs n then at maxi n said"sarkaar ,aaj aap yahi ruk jaaiye"cs jumped with joy as maxi ran in...

After the pooja,the family had a quick brunch n then proceede to jeevan sandhya...with gift packets of sweets,n clothes for each inmate..as they entered..baba seemed to be overjoyed in his old home..his companions hugging him...n he proudly showing a sleepy nishu..."mera pota ...ashu ka beta"the manager took nidhi inside"yaad hai dr nidhi..baba ka kamra...yaad hai jab baba kho gaye the..."nidhi blinked back her tears..as the scene stood fresh before her..baba came in with ashutosh n nishu n retorted"manager ..mai nahi khota..to mere ashutosh nidhi kaise milte..bhala"n baba looked at ashu,as the manager wothdrew.."issi kamre me..ashu yahi..nidhi meri dekhbhaal karti thi...par hurdum tadapti rehti thi..uske aansoo yaad hain mujhe...tere liye uska pyaar...sab in deewaron ne dekha hai..."nidhi chirped in"baba,jo beet gaya,so beet gaya..ab to poore ho gaye hum dono..."n baba put his arms around his beta bahu...as they proceeded back..

In the afternoon nidhi lulled nishu to sleep..so that he could be fresh for the party,dr ashutosh n armaan gave final instructions to the catere n decorators..n with maxi n cs as incharge..all came in for a siesta.

As nidhi took off her sari n wore her house coat..ashutosh looked at her..nidhi asked"kya dekh rahe hain..."ashutosh smiled n opened his arms..n nidhi just swam into them...as he engulfed her in a bear hug..caressing her back...nidhi finally spoke"aapko yaad hai...jab aapko pata chala tha ki..nishu aane waala hai...mai kabhi bhool nahi sakti woh khushi..aapki aankhon me...pata hi nahi chala..kaise waqt beet gayaa...ek saal ka ho gayaa humaara beta..jaante hain..jab hunsta hai to aapke jaisa dikhta hai...thankyou dr ashutosh...mujhe yeh khoobsoorat ehsaas experience karaane ke liye..."ashutosh just smiled n then the two just lay together..in peace of their togetherness,in the bliss that nothing could rip them apart ever...
At 5 p.m. nidhi felt warmth on her eyes..and realised it was dr ashutosh ..waking her up in his inimitable style...kissing those lovely eyes that could look through him...nidhi woke up..n awoke nishu.as she was going to set the bathtub ,ashutosh smiled and took off his shirt..carried nishu n said"ab dekho..boys ki masti..."both father n son stood under the shower once again..nishu playing with the warm drops..n ashutosh lifting him to touch the spout of the shower till he shouted in glee..nidhi kept watching..mesmerised..the joy that nishu had got to dr ashutosh...the sunshine..it was unbelievable..Finally nidhi had to pull both out..n ashu shook his hair to wet her face...his eyes reflecting a deep desire...nidhi ran into the toilet...when she emerged..in her purple petticoat n blouse,ashutosh n nishu were both ready..nishu in his fantastic tommy hilfiger overall with a bright cap n shoes that had lights...ashutosh was about to put on his tie..as nidhi saw him,he smiled n called her...nidhi put the silk tie..as ashutosh caressed her waist..his hands moving towards her bosom...n nidhi blushed n said"hey..nishu..dekh raha hai..."ashutosh smiled..a lil embarrassed n withdrew..but not before he kissed nidhi on her forehead...nidhi wore her kundan set..n applied a lil sindoor...she seemed to glow in the sari n in ashutosh's love..

The three emerged as baba in his grey suit smiled to see ashutosh wearing the same colour..armaan wore a brown suit,.with a cream shirt...he took nishu n handed him a big pack of designer clothes...offcourse nishu was more interested in the wrapper..glittering,baba put 5 guineas in nidhi's hand..."yeh mere pote ki hain...jab uski biwi aayegi to sabse pehle yehi dena..."ashutosh hugged baba.."baba..aap khud deejiyega...apne haathon se"the family came out..the tent was lovely,with cartoon motiffs,cs n maxi were taking care of everything..as kaka came n held ashu's hand..."beta..bhagwaan kare humaara nishu tujh se bhi bada dr bane...bas ab to isse paalne ke liye hi zinda hoon"ashu had no words..he hugged kaka as nidhi touched his feet.."mera nishuuu,meri bachchiii"no one needed to say that dadi bua had arrived,along with col verma..loaded woth gifts,clothes,..ashutosh touched dadibua's feet as col hugged him,next to arrive were the solankis followed by anji,dr ranganath n lil khushi in another beautiful lehnga,armaan pinched ranganath"same pinch"as both were wearing identical suits...solanki sahib took armaan aside n asked'"armaan..sweet dish me kya kya hai"??armaan laughed as shyaama came n said"pahunch gaye sweet dish ke chakkar me..aap bhi na..bus keejiye"dr sudhir,nanda ahaana,aditi priyanka,jyothika n finally dr dubey arrived..the party was in ful swing n suddenly the doll like khushi came n hugged armaan from behind,holding his leg"pappa"nidhi looked as armaan 's face lost colur..the child had been decieved by the similarity of suits...anji came n took khushi..but the agony on armaan's face could not be hidden from nidhi..it was as nidhi walked towards armaan that anji announced"aaiye sab,cake cutting ke liye..."nishu..who was playing around nidhi came into ashutosh'sarms as the trio went,,it was a lovely cake,nidhi n ashutosh held nishu's hand n made him cut the cake...looking at eachother..n siddenly realising that all the guests were looking at them..nidhi made nishu feed ashutosh..n poor nishu put the finger on ashu's nose...so there was dr hardstone with a cream cake piece on his nose...as nidhi quickly came to rub it off n photos were clicked away..nishu was carried from one lap to another...dr sudhir held him..n looked at ashutosh"beautiful child...par bahut rulaaya tha issne nidhi ko..."n ashutosh suddenly turned serious..the memory of nidhi's agony still v fresh..dinner had started n solanki sahib requested ashutosh to keep shyama aunty busy"taaki mai chaain se khaa sakoon"ashu laughed n went to welcome aradhanaji..dressed in tusser she stood a lil lost..looking at baba..stunner in his grey suit..baba came too n saw aradhanaji admiring the suit..he joked"yeh batao aradhna,kaun zyaada handsome lag raha hai..baap ya beta..?"aradhanaji wrinkled her nose n said"mera nishu..hai show stopper"n all three laughed, as everyone heard..armaan "ladies n gentlemen..ab khaana to ho chukaa..so gaana ho jaaye..aashu..aajaa meri jaan"
A blushing dr ashutosh excused himself from his friends..took nishu in his lap n extended a hand towards a blushing nidhi...as he sat to play the piano..nidhi stood..nishu in her arms.Ashutosh struck the notes n the song flowed from his heart.."MAANGI THI EK DUA JO QUBOOL HO GAYEE
U,MEED KI KALI KHIL KE PHOOL HO GAYEE
ABKE BAHAAR ME ,DIL MERA KHIL UTHA,
JISKI THI AARZOO WOH MUJHKO MIL GAYAA...(n he touched nishu's head...with affection showing in his eyes)
JANNAT MERE LIYE AB FIZOOL HO GAYEE..(baba looked at araadhanaji..who had just come)
HUM SOCHTE THE YE DIL MUFT ME DIYA(a naughty look came on ashutosh as he got up to hold nidhi's hand)
KITNA HASEEN AAPNE TOHFA HUME DIYA
KEEMAT HUMAARE PYAAR KI WASOOL HO GAYEE
MAANGI THI EK DUA..(there were thundrous applause as ashutosh looked at a nidhi blushing deeper than the colour of her sari)..
Dr ashutosh got up to hold nishu,put an arm around nidhi...as the photographer clicked the wonderful moment...imprinted for ever..in the two hearts that beat as one...ashni..ashni..ashni...

As nidhi settled nishu with great effort ,after the party...he had been terribly excited wanting to play with all his gifts,he hugged the brown life size teddy that anji n ranga had given n wanted to ride the scooty gifted by his papa,mamma n it was aftter a hurculean effort that he retired...holding the teddy's ear...nidhi kissed his hair..as she returned to her bedroom,wanting to change.she was surprised to find dr ashutosh awake...he looked at her n said"thank you nidhi...merebete ka first birthday..yaadgaar banaane ke liye"nidhi smiled n retorted"dr ashutosh,beta hum dono ka hai...aur thankyou kehne ke behtar tareeke bhi honge shaayad..."ashutosh got up lazily n hugged her from the back..rubbing his nose in her hair..n then delicately removing her kundan necklace..,turning her around he took of her earrings ..n as his hand touched the mangalsutra,nidhi resisted"ooonh yeh nahi"ashutosh pressed her small hands to take off her bangles..n then as her pallu fell down,he gazed at her..with longing..as she covered her modesty with her hands crossed over her chest,ashutosh smiled n slowly removed them...undoing the hooks of her blouse..his hands grazing those taut peaks...nidhi moaned"fresh hone deejiye na..plz"ashutosh was in no mood to relent,he lifted her...with hardly anything on her..n brought her to the bath tub,as he opened the tap...n water covered nidhi...almost.He divested himself of everything..n entered the tub,protected...n responsible.His fingers seem to fill the water eoth electric current..as nidhi bit her lip in anticipation of his intimate touch...he took some scented bath gel on his palm..n began to rub it down on nidhi...touching those hidden spaces behind her ears,underarms n toes..they were covered in bubbles...as he felt her hardened nipples..n then her lovely deep navel..his favourite spot,nidhi squirmed as ashutosh bit her ear lobe ..continuing his soaping..till he could feel her abdomen muscles contracting with pleasure...his fingers went lower...exploring each delicate hidden intricate detail...as nidhi closed her eyes..all she knew n wanted to know was that she was his wife..his love..n he was her existence...A loud moan escaped nidhi's lips as ashutosh pierced her with his finger..while his other hand held her abdomen most possessively..nidhi was moaning as her husband ..18 years her senior,continued to prove that he had learnt more from their experinces of intimacies together..n he knew her body better than she herself did...ashutosh kept rubbing her...n drawing exquisite patterns with his lips...n tongue on her stomach...his strong fingers not stopping even for a moment..till he realised that nidhi was literally groaning for him...he kissed her..deep n then finally withdrew his fingers...as nidhi clutched him...and the next moment he entered his steely manhood into her soft dripping core..his arms held her so that she d not hurt herself against the hard bath tub...n then he heaved ..n pushed..carrying her across all barriers of ecstacy...

As dr ashutosh dried his dear wife..n then both slipped into theor night wear..it was1.30 in the night..nidhi slept but somehow the sleep was disturbed,ashutosh could feel her restless in his arms...as he smiled n made her change side..his hand on her stomach..he drifted back to sleep..till about an hour later when he was ripped out of his sleep by a loud cry from nidhi..she was up n awake...looking dazed n scared..ashutosh hugged her..she was sweating.."nidhi kya hua..bura sapna dekha"??nidhi,now calmer..wiped her tears ..n whispered.."haan..shaayad,yaad nahi kuch..bus ek kaali chaaya thi..hum pee,..aur shaayad mai darr gayee.."ashutosh held her tighter..nidhi had seen a nightmare after ages...he made her lie,taking her closer..n put his leg on her's ..making her secure under his weight..he smiled ..with moist eyes as he saw nidhi holding his kurta..after ages..he kissed her hair n caressed her to sleep...quite sure that no dark shadow could eclipse their bliss..but was he right??????????????

Next morning,when dr ashutosh got up,he heard the shower n knew nidhi was in the wash room,as she emerged in her green n cream churidaar kurta n coaxed ashutosh to get ready"uthiye na...aap bahut lazy ho gaye hain..."ashutosh held her nose naughtily exclaiming"achcha..prove karoon ki lazy nahi hoon...repeat of the night"??n nidhi blushed as she could still feel the tingling..Dr ashutosh emerged from the bath n was not surprised to see that nidhi...his nidhi had placed his suit,shirt tie even his hankey on the bed..his lonely years..his sleepless nights were a forgotten memory...his titli had painted his quila pink...with her smiles..her positivity n now with nishu...Ashutosh smiled at the thought of nishu n went to see him..only to find him fast asleep...clutching his new teddy..ashutosh smiled...the smile of a satisfied man...a complete man...a man free from complexes n insecurities...

At the breakfast table,baba n nidhi were chatting about the party as maxi excitedly told "dadi bua ne mujhe bulaaya hai..."n nidhi saying"tu chinta naa kar..tujhe wahaan permanently bhej doongi mai...bus nishu ko thoda bada hone de..."as kaka sent the poha n sandwiches,ashutosh looked around for armaan"armaan nahi dikh raha...tabiyat to theek hai..dekhta hoon"as ashutosh knocked at armaan's door...a sleepy armaan emerged"kya yaar..sone bhi nahi dete"as ashu tried to touch his forehead,he moved away n came to the dining table.."kaka kuch raat ka bucha ho to dena..ye healthy khana drs ko khilaaiye"n as ashutosh asked his plans ,armaan yawned n said"aaj maa badaulat apne bhateeje kesaath khelenge ..aap log hospital jaaiye"nidhi smiled n then turned to maxi"maxi,nishu ko sone dena..raat bahut der se soya hai...n naye toys ke saath khelne dena..armaanji sikha denge scooty remote handle karna.."as ashutosh got up ,pushing the last bite into nidhi's mouth"chaloo..der ho rahi hai"

In the hospital it was a busy day as usual,dr ashutosh had two surgeries lined up n nidhi had to be in the o.p.d..finally at about 3 ,nidhi was walking to dr ashutosh's cabin when she bumped into dr dubey..he smiled as she wished him"dr nidhi..kal bahut achcha laga...ashutosh ki veeraan zindagi ko hura bhara dekh kar..."nidhi smiled n added"sir aap plz aaya kariye..baba ko,infact hum sab ko bahut achcha lagega"dr dubey smiled n patted her..as he proceeded to the canteen.Nidhi knocked at ashutosh's cabin n as he drawled "come in"she entered n saw him sitting on his chair..head leaning back,..relaxing after a tough surgery..she poured him tea n said"pee leejiye,better feel karenge..mai khaana lagaati hoon"nidhi served gobhi matar n aloo paalak,with rotis n salad..as dr ashutosh ate ,he looked at nidhi looking out of the window..lost in thoughts,"kya hua nidhi..khaaogi nahi"??nidhi shook her head"kal itna heavy khaaya ki mann nahi hai abhi..."ashutosh raied his eyebrow n asked"kahi us sapne se to nahi darr rahi ho abhi tak"?nidhi did not reply...as dr ranganath came in to inform of a meeting that dr ashutosh had to attend...ashutosh looked at nidhi..n then left..telling her"thoda sa kha lo plz"nidhi tried to eat a little vegetable but it seemed food did not interest her...she looked around dr ashutosh's cabin..got up n touched his chair..n closed her eyes ,trying to recall the many loving moments they had shared here...how she had to walk out of his life...n then re enter ...never to leave again..could she even imagine life without dr ashutosh...???nidhi took a deep breath,trying to absorb the air that smelt of dr ashutosh...of their togetherness...

Driving back,ashutosh looked at nidhi..who was looking outside ..but her mind seemed preoccupied,"kuch baat hai kya nidhi;??kahaan khoyee ho"??nidhi smiled at dr ashutosh...n trying to prove her peace..her happiness,she switched on the f.m .the song playing was of an old melody ..one of those rare old songs that nidhi loved..
EK MANN THA MERE PAAS WOH AB KHONE LAGAA HAI
PAAKE TUJHE ,HAAI MUJHE KUCH HONE LAGA HAI
MERE PYAAR BHARE SAPNE KAHIN KOI NA CHCHEEN LE
DIL SOCH KE GHABRAAYE,YEHI SOCH KE GHABRAAYE...
the poignant words..the scenes of the tragic love story...n probably some thing else brought tears to nidhi's eyes...as she turned her face away...ashutosh put his hand on her's n patted it...trying to say in his own inimitable style"main hoon na..."

As they entered the house,baba was walking in tension ,on seeing ashutosh,he said"thank god tu aa gaya ashu,armaan..."ashutosh caught baba midway"kya baat hai..baba,kya hua armaan ko"??baba explained"beta,11 baje se high fever hai...calpol dee par kuch asar nahi..dekh zara"dr ashutosh threw his coat on the sofa n went into armasn's room..followed by nidhi..armaan was lying..his face flushed with fever..as ashutosh touched his forehead he spoke"arre kuch nahi hua..thoda sa bukhaar..."dr ashutosh gave him an icy look.."chup rahenge aap...aapki raai ki zuroorat nahi hai..mr armaan"n went on to take the fever..104.5 ashutosh ordered nidhi to get ice packs.As nidhi got them,ashutosh himself sat close n began to put the packs...his eyes looking worried..as armaan moaned..ashutosh told nidhi.."ek fresh teeshirt do to plz"as nidhi opened the almirah...naina's pic smiled at her...nidhi pulled out a soft tee,as ashutosh sponged his torso n changed the tee..nishu had heard his parents n came running,not ready to bestopped by baba,ashutosh looked at nishu,standing on the doorway,his hands extended..n then he said to nidhi ,"nidhi,tum jaao nishu ko dekho...mai hoon yahaan"nidhi nodded n got up..taking nishu in her godi,she went into the kitchen ,made nishu sit on his truck n put soup for armaan..talking to nishu all the while,as nishu clapped n ran he disappeared to come back with his new teddy,double his size,dragging it by the ear.."teedddyyy"he cried as nidhi kissed him n grinded the soup,then giving instructions to kaka for dinner,she took nishu to the room,a bath was overdue,she bathed n changed nishu n then as maxi took nishu,she rushed thru her bath...to come out n hug her bundle of joy once again.Dinner was ready,she went to armaan's room ,touched ashutosh on his shoulder n said"aap fresh ho ke dinnr kar lejiye baba aur nishu ke saath...main hoon yahaan..soup pila doongi armaanji ko,"ashutosh got up n went out...preoccupied...as nidhi got hot veg soup for armaan..hlped him to sit n began to feed him...armaan moaned in pain,fever was still high,he didnt finish the soup n lay groaning,nidhi sat n began to press his ankles..his back,forehead...and sleep seemed to descend..
Ashutosh was caught by nishu,as soon as he emerged from the bath,carrying him in his lap,he came to the dining table,baba was waiting..as maxi servefd,mutter paneer,raita n paraanthe,ashutosh fed nishu...smiling as he saw his son's growing appetite...baba asked ashutosh"kya hai armaan ko...viral u feel"??ashutosh shook his head n said"no,i suspect lung infection...chest congestion hai...pneumonia..kal..x ray ke liye le jaaoonga..antibiotics deni hongi"baba nodded as ashu held nishu..now asleep in his lap...he got up ,n placed nishu in his new cot,covered him with his quilt n came to armaan's room...nidhi was pressing armaan's ankles...ashutosh gulped as he stood...seeing nidhi's affection for armaan..he couldnt help feeling proud..how this girl,half his age knew how to establish relationships...ashutosh caressednidhi's hair...as she looked up"jaao kha lo..mai hoon yehaan..n ..nidhi..."ashutosh seemed to hesitate.."nidhi..if you dont mind,mai yehi sona chahoonga..armaan ko raat me zaroorat pad sakti hai..."nidhi smiled"its ok..dr ashutosh..aap yehaan rahiye..jab tak armaan ji better nahi hote..mai hot water rakh deti hoon,kuch baat ho to bulaayiega..."ashutosh looked at her...thankfullness glistening in his eyes...as nidhi went out..

Nidhi sat for dinner..but somehow the dinner didnt appeal to her...she just got up n came to her room...lonely without dr ashutosh...but then she smiled..recalling how armaan had cared for her when dr ashutosh had gone to delhi n she was pregnant...he had sat in her room..to see that she felt secure...armaan was their family n they had to care for him...it was a bond that nidhi cherished n respected...She put the teddy near nishu,..n nishu cuddled it instinctively,as she came back to lie on the bed...feeling dr ashutosh's side..n then hugging his pillow...feeling his presence...close to her..
Ashutosh too worried about nidhi..as armaan slept..though he did cough violently between sleep...ashu wondered if nidhi was sleeping..??what if she had a nightmare again??he recalled his terrifying actions when he had left nidhi alone...to be with the ailing mallika...how could he??ashutosh tried to rid himself of those shameful days..when his blind friendship had almost ruined his marriage..but armaan was so different..he hsd done everything possible to unite ashu nidhi...n even now he tried his best to be a friend...a sibling to nidhi...ashutosh gulped as he looked at armaan..looking so frail..but then he got up to have one look at nidhi..He tiptoed into the bedroom,only to find her asleep..hugging his pillow tightly..ashu smiled...extended his hand to caress her..but then withdrew..not wanting to disturb her...he returned to armaan

The next day,ashutosh took armaan for investigarion,he was diagnosed with double pneumonia n was put on high antibiotics..nidhi returned early to look after him..Now it had been 3 days n the improvement was only slight..as nidhi sponged his face ..armaan looked at her"hey meri gudiyaa,kyu itna bigaad rahi hai...akela musaafir hoon..."nidhi fought back her tears n said"ek dum chup ..mai bahut strixt dr hoon...chaliye dawaa khaaiye..nahi to injection lagegaa"armaan smiled n patted her...nidhi sat as armaan seemed to be asleep...but then in a kind of delirium he muttered"naina...naina...kahaa chali gayee,.."nidhi looked away..some wounds probably never healed...wounds of love..wounds of loss..loss of loved ones...Dr ashutosh contd to sleep in armaan's room.as his cough was still quite bad...n he needed nursing..though he told ashutosh every nite"ashu tu jaa nidhi ke paas...kaka so jaayenge yahaan"but ashutosh told him to be quiet,...

One afternoon,when ashutosh returned early,he cried"nidhi nidhi..."maxi came out,carrying nishu"sir,madam baahar gayee hain..4 baje tak aayengi..bataya nahi kahaan"ashutosh tried to control his temper..but he was irritated..baba was with armaan..as kaka got tea in armaan's room,nidhi too came looking v apologetic...ashu looked at her..n sneered"friends ke paas gayee thi ya shopping"??nidhi didnt answer but armaan interrupted"hey hardstone...biwi hai teri..intern nahi..."n nidhi smiled...At dinner ashutosh observed nidhi wasnt eating...he whispered"naaraaz ho??i m sorry..woh armaan ki wajah se..."n suddenly they heard armaan vomit,so they rushedin...ashutosh cleaned him ,changed ..n settled..At about 11,nidhi came..looking worried.ashutosh looked up..had he hurt hrr so much??he cursed his temper...as nidhi said"dr ashutosh..ek minute zaroori baat th..."n armaan coughed violently...ashutosh rushed in..n told nidhi to get some ginger extract in hot water..they ouldnt talk...nidhi returned...heavy hearted...As armaan settled,ashu's thoughts turned to nidhi...what did she wish to say??was she upset?ashutosh got up n came to his bedroom.."nidh..."only to find her in deep sleep...hugging his pillow...ashu gulped..switched off the lamp n returned...

The next week,ashutosh was dead busy,hospital,surgery meetings n looking after armaan..though he did wish to ask nidhi what was troubling her..but some how could never get the time...
On 25 of feb,nearly a month after nishu's bday,armaan seemed much better...as he walked to the dining table n asked"kaka,aaj aloo ke parathe khilaaye plz" n ashu nidhi smiled..as all sat,ashu's gaze fell on nidhi..she seemed pale..n unwell..he felt terribly guilty..for not having been able to give her anytime..in the last month...He observed she was hardly eating...just then she got upto get hot parathaas from kaka...as she entered the smell seemed to get on her..a warm waveof nausea swept her..as she came out eith parathaas..as armaan took one..nidhi couldnt control...n ran into the toilet.. stunned ashutosh followed,holding her as she renched out...as he got her back,she collapsed ..in his arms,aahu carried her to the bed..sprinkled water...as she opened her eyes...ashutosh's eyes had a deep question...nidhi loojed away..n then whispered"dr ashutosh...i am pregnant...again"n then as she lowered her eyes...dr ashutosh's eyes flashed with love...concern...shock...but what nidhi feared the most...guilt n anger...very evident...as he looked at her..tightening his jaw...

Dr ashutosh made nidhi lie down..probably too shocked to speak..but as nidhi tried to hold him,he looked at her...nidhi smiled at him tentatively as she was not able to fathom the look in his eyes...nidhi sat up..holding his shirt sleeve,she whispered"kuch kahiye na plz"dr ashutosh got up n walked to close the door,then stood looking out of the window...finally he asked"are you sure nidhi"??nidhi replied"jee...us din jab mai baahar gayee thi,aap naaraaz ho gaye the,i had gone to dr sudhir...he confirmed it.."ashutosh drew a sharp breath,thrusting his hands into his trousers pocket ,he questioned nidhi.."how many weeks..."??nidhi looked down n murmured"its two months dr ashutosh...i think i concieved on that night...when..."ashutosh banged his fist into the wall n said"when i told you that probably the precaution had failed...n you said that there was no need to worry..."nidhi looked at him n tried to clarify.."i had thought that at that time of the month it wad probsbly highly unlikely for me to concieve...but kya karoon..ho gayaa.."dr ashutosh gave her a stern look .."that means you have missed two cycles n you did not think it necessary to tell me..hu nidhi bolo"nidhi did not seem to have an answer...she spoke softly ..feeling ashutosh glaring at her.."dr ashutosh...pehle nishu ka bday,village trips aur armaanji ki beemaari me pata hi nahi chalaa..jab doubt hua tabhi to gayee dr sudhir ke paas..aur aapko bataane ki bhi koshish ki..per aap preoccupied the...i am sorry..."ashutosh seemed to be losing his patience as he sneered"i am sorry..great nidhi"nidhi got up to calm him "aap chinta nahi kariye..dr sudhir has said ..all is well..there is no need to worry.."ashutosh raised his characteristic eyebrow n spoke in an icy tone"oh i see!!so you will tell me if there is a cause of worry or not...really nidhi...tum mere sabr ka imtihaan le rahi ho.."nidhi looked up,a trifle scared n confused"aapka matlab"??.."matlab yeh ki how can i forget..your pregnancy..nishu ke time..kitni taqleef..kitna pain..n the delivery..pata nahi tumhe yaad hai ki nahi..almost marr gayee thi tum...how can i ever think of..."nidhi interrupted him..in a choked voice.."iska matlab dr ashutosh aapko koi khushi nahi hai..iss baby ke aane ki..."ashutosh looked at nidhi's face..tears falling on her cheeks"nidhi ,try to understand..baat meri khushi ki nahi..tumhari safety ki hai...how can i risk your life again..?"nidhi could feel the pain camouflaged in his anger...she held his hands..."to aap kya chaahte hain dr ashutosh"?? Ashutosh pulled his hands away..did not look at nidhi's face...coloured with apprehension...but said with a steely resolve"nidhi ye gulti meri hai...aur mai hi isse sudhaaroonga"nidhi seemed shocked..she shook him.."you mean...".."yes nidhi i mean,you must abort the foetus...i cant risk your life..bilkul nahi...its out of question"nidhi moved back...too shocked for words ..but then tried to collect herself.."dr ashutosh...aapke liye yeh ek gulti hai...kaise dr ashutosh..its our baby..our love ..yeh bhi nishu ki tarah hoga..hummari gode me khelega...maybe its a daughter...woh beti..jiski aapko humesha se chaah thi..mai jaanti hoon"dr ashutosh seemed to shut his eyes..probably to hide the pain..the guilt..the anger...he turned to face nidhi..."nidhi..mujhe emotionally blackmail karne ki koshish mat karo...humaara parivaar poora ho gayaa hai...bus..mai aur arguments nahi chaahta..i am phoning sudhir...chalna hoga abhi..."as nidhi slumped to the sofa,ashutosh dialled sudhir's no."hi sudhir...nidhi ko leke aanaa chahta tha abhi..we wantto terminate the pregnancy..."there was a long pause..n ashutosh disconnected the phone saying"ok then,let it be 3 days from now,..bcoz i dont want your asssistants to do it..."ashutosh looked at nidhi..spoke without even a trace of emotion in his voice"sudhir conference ke liye bombay gayaa hai...so 3 days ke baad yaanifriday ka time mila hai..."nidhi did not reply..ashutosh put a hand on her shoulder n said..almost ordered"hospital chalo..ghar me rahogi to useless baatein sochti rahogi.."he handed nidhi's apron n stetho to her ..as she followed him...

Baba and armaan looked at them..trying to guess what was wrong...ashutosh lifted a sleepy nidhu from the sofa n kissed him as nidhi patted him..n then said"bye beta..shaam ko aaoongi"in a voice that shook armaan n baba...ashutosh walked out..without displaying any emotions...The drive was absolutely silent as nidhi kept wiping her tears while ashutosh chose not to look at her..as he stopped the car,nidhi got down,banged the door n went into the opd...as dr ashutosh walked with heavy steps towards his cabin...if nidhi could understand his fears..his concern for her...he sat down n put his head between his hands...image of a weeping nidhi haunting him...there was a knock at the door and ashutosh said"come in"it was dr ranganath with a schedule of two surgeries...probably work was the best balm..thought ashutosh..as he read the case history...n then proceede to change for the surgery...dr ashutosh was an experienced surgeon...with scalpel n scissors in his hand,rest of the world ceased to exist for him...

As he emerged from the second surgery,changed n rang for lunch,luxmi bai laid his lunch ..n as he sat..his thoughts went to nidhi..had she eaten...??would she like this food??what were her pregnancy cravings this time??ashutosh smiled a sadsmile as he recalled how she used to love daal n baingan when she was carrying nishu...He looked up..asked luxmi bai"dr nidhi kahaan hain??khaana khaaya unhone"??luxmi bai answeted "sir,woh children's ward me hain..khaana lay kiya tha maine,..per kha nahi paayeen..vomit ho rahi thi..boli stomach infection hai..."dr ashutosh seemed to freeze...he could somehow muster to eat a chapati with veggies n then told the ward boy to clear it up...He walked to the children's ward...nidhi was sitting with the kids,holding the hand of a just admitted lil girl with tuberculosis..,two children srood by her ,playing with her chunni n cajoling her"didi..raja aur titli ki kahaani sunaao na...plz"nidhi heaved a sigh..n relented...askids sat around her..."bataaiye na..raja aur titli ka rajkumar kaisa hai..."??nidhi smiled n began..as dr ashutosh stood behind the door...listening silently"raja aur titli ka rajkumar ab ek saal ka ho gayaa tha...bahut khush the woh teeno...par ek din..titli ko mann hua ek sundar si ,choti si titli ghar laane ka...usne bhagwaan se dua ki...aur bhagwaan ne sun li..."..the kids were anxious"phir kya hua didi..."??nidhi caressed the lil girl's hair n went on"per raja ko pata chala to usse gussa aa gaya...usne kaha ki uski titli kaise itna sab samvhaalegi..raja,rajkumar...aur nanhi titli ko..."??lil girl lisped"phil kya hua didi...laja ne kya kiya"??"raja ne kaha ki nanhi titli ko maar do...udaa do...mahal me nahi aane do..."the kids were aghast"raja ganda tha,didi"??"nahi re...raja apni titli ke pyaar me andha tha bus..."ashutosh couldnt bear to hear anymore...he walked away briskly...n shut the door of his quila...his cabin...

As nidhi n ashutosh reached home,baba was waiting,playing with nishu...nishu jumped up on seeing his parents..as nidhi lifted him in her lap...ashutosh could not help saying involuntarily.."kya kar rahi ho...itna bhaari hai woh..usko nahi uthaao"baba..looked at ashutosh...as he realised the faux pass n bit his lip..n nidhi went inside..taking nishu along...Babaput a hand on ashutosh's shoulder..'"kya baat hai ashu...subah nidhi ki tabiyat kuch...mujhe jaanne ka huq nahi hai kya beta"??ashutosh hung his head...in despair..shame...guilt..n answered"baba...i was irresponsible...nidhi is pregnant again..."baba seemed disturbed but then looked at ashu"kitne din ..how many weeks"??"two months baba..."baba gave ashutosh a questioning glance n said"to phir...kya socha...tum dono ne"??ashutosh stood up..."baba..you are a dr,aapne dekhi thi nidhi ki haalat?..pregnancy mei bhi aur delivery ke baad bhi..nearly kho diya tha usse..tell me can i risk her life??how can we have another baby...yeh ek mistake..ek accident hai..we can ..can..get rid of it..abort it.."baba ran his fingers thru his beard"nidhi kya chahti hai...ashu..woh bhi to important hai..."ashutosh seemed to be reaching a point of frustration where pain gets packaged as anger..."nidhi ka kya hai...woh to humesha immature baatein karti hai..she wants the baby...but i am not going to allow this...mother's life is always more important than the baby's n mai kisi ki nahi sunoonga iss baare me..."ashutosh went in..nidhi was playing with nishu..But he knew she had heard all...her eyes were red...ashutosh went into the toilet n banged the door...he just stood against the door...trying to come to terms with his own angst...his own agony...of having failed to be the responsible partner...of putting nidhi thru this emotional turmoil...of having to cause so much pain to his tender titli...and of having to lose ..to kill his baby...ashu stood under the shower...the stream of water seemed to numb his pathos...

At dinner nidhi was feeding nishu,aaloo mutter n hare chane with paraanthe..his tastes were v much like his father's..dr ashutosh was forcing himself to eat...as baba n armaan who knew all observed...finally baba spoke"nidhi,beta tu bhi to kuch kha le...kya mann hai tera bataa mujhe..heeraman se kehke banwa deta hoon"nidhi kept quiet,trying to gulp down her tears...finally saying"yehi kha loongi baba...kuch khaas mann nahi hai..."armaan looked at ashutosh...with question in his eyes...could he not see nidhi's suffering??nidhi ate half a paratha n got up...taking nishu by his finger...armaan n baba confronted ashutosh"ashu jo tu kar raha hai..usse nidhi bahut dukhi hogi...soch le plz"ashutosh faced them n said"main jaanta hoon dukhi hogi..per kam se kam zinda to rahegi...aur waqt her zakhm bhar deta hai...mai hoon ,nishu hai..aap sab,uska parivaar ..sab bhool jaayegi waqt ke saath"armaan put a hand on ashu's shoulder..as ashu walked away..nishu had gone to sleep..as nidhi got up to carry him to bed,ashu took him ..their eyes met...but then nidhi looked away,handing nishu to him...when he came,nidhi had changed in her green nightie n was turned towards the lamp..back towards ashu..ashutosh knew she was weeping...begging him silently to let her carry...but no..he had made one mistake...he couldnt make another...even in the darkness,ashutosh couldnt sleep...as nidhi turned flat in her sleep..he observed her...it was the second month end..but her belly was flat..in nishu's time the bump had begun to show...but did that mean the baby was of a normal size??could she continue...ashutosh looked at nidhi's face..gloomy even in sleep...he didnt want to hurt her..but it was too big a risk,..and after 12 weeks,abortion would be dangerous,...he had no choice..it was all his fault..that was making his nidhi suffer...ashutosh gulped as his gaze shifted to nidhi's belly,n his thoughts to their unborn baby...what if it were a daughter...a daughter he had always desired...a daughter who d have naughty eyes like nidhi...ashu had tears in his eyes...he sooo wanted to put his hand on nidhi's abdomen..to feel his baby..their baby..to say sorry to the innocent lil thing..that he..her father was not ready to let her see the light of the day...ashutosh extended his hand...almost touched nidhi's belly ..but then drew away...his eyes moist..but features hardened...this was not the time to be soft...nidhi's life was at stake.

Early in the morning,ashutosh was awakened by nidhi's renching...he kept sitting...trying to bear it..but finally got up..n entered the wash room as she washed her face...he tried to support her but nidhi walked back on her own...ashitosh held her shoulders"kuch chahiye nidhi"??nidhi looked at him n answered ..her voice full of angst"jo chahiye woh aap denge nahi...to rehne deejiye..."ashutosh walked out of the bedroom...At breakfast time,dadi bua n col verma arrived,looking worried n solemn...ashutosh looked at nidhi...baba saw it n said"ashu,maine bulaaya hai..inhe..nidhi beti hai colonel ki...bhool gaya kya.."??col verma smiled n shook hands with ashutosh..dadi bua hugged nidhi who did not say anything at all..baba took up the responsibility,"colonel,nidhi pregnant hai...phir se...per uski health dekh ..past history dekh kar..ashutosh nahi chahta risk lena..so...abortion socha hai..."dadi bua looked at nidhi..holding her chin..as her face trembled.."meri bachchi,daaktar theek soch raha hai...dekh nishu to hai hi...agar tujhe kuch ho gayaa to...bata"??dr ashutosh seemed to have given a sigh of relief...but col verma said"ashutosh...nidhi kya chahti hai..ye poocha aapne"??ashutosh kept quiet...as nidhi looked away,baba looked at colonel..n sighed"tum kya kehte ho colonel"?colonel verma looked at ashutosh n baba..n said"dekhiye dr mathur..ye to in dono ka faisla hona chahiye...par mai sochta hoon..."dr ashutosh interrupted"colonel verma..jo bhi kahiyega,yeh doch ke kahiyega..ki aapne bhi khoya tha nidhi ki maa ko..aur poori zindagi akele..nidhi ki parvarish ki...kya aap chahte hain..mere saath bhi..yehi"col verma stopped ashutosh"ashutosh ,meri baat to suniye...mujhe bharosa hai aap per..hum aapke faisle ke saath hain..."nidhi got up n went into her room...as ashutosh replied"thank you...yeh aasaan nahi hai..mai jaanta hoon..per mai ek doctor hoon..aur nidhi ki life risk nahi kar sakta..."

Hat evening ,as nidhi sat for dinner,she again had a feeling to throw up...as she rushed in,ashutosh followed...holding her..as she again seemed v weak..making her sit,ashutosh explained"dekho..kitna pareshaan ho rahi ho..tum"nidhi looked at him with bitterness,"do din ki baat hai...bechaari ka itna huq to rehne deejiye mujh pe..."ashutosh got up..clenching his fists in frustration he spoke loudly"nidhi stop it..stop it i say"nidhi held his arms ,shaking him angrily,she cried"yes,mujhe to stop karna hi hoga...sab to aapke saath hain..mera kaun hai...kaun sunta hai ki mai kya chahti hoon...aap meri zindagi bachaa rahe hain...baba,dadi bua ko meri sehat ki chinta hai...kisi ko meri marzi,meri khushi ki parwaah hai"??dr ashutosh seemed to erupt,throwing away the files on his table,he shouted loudly..."nidhi..yad rakho..biwi ho tum meri...woh bhi 18 saal choti...biwi hi raho...dont dare to dominate me...nahi to..."and ashutosh walked out in furious anger...

Dr ashutosh was getting ready for hospital,when his cell rang,it was dr sudhir"hullo sudhir,aaj aa gayaa"??there was a long convo about the conference at the end of which,dr ashutosh said"fine,see you at sharp 6in the evening..."saying so,ashutosh looked up at nidhi,who was tying the saree..n ashutosh gulped as he probably saw a faint..v faint baby bump.he shook his head n said" shaam..."nidhi interrupted"sun liya maine,shaam 6 baje ka appointment hai..."n she went out of the bedroom as ashu looked at his own reflection in the mirror..was he being unreasonable??did he not care about nidhi 's emotions...??why didnt she realize,he too loved the baby...the unborn baby in her womb...but could he risk her life for it??no,certainly not...At breakfast,nidhi did not speak a word though baba n armaan tried talking about various topics that might interest her...but she just sat n fed nishu...eating v little herself..armaan looked at ashuyosh n then at nidhi...he finally cajoled her"nidhi plz kha le,khaayegi nahi to..."nidhi looked up"khaaoongi nahi to kya armaanji...kya farq padega"???no one said anything,as nidhi kissed nishu,ashutosh told "baba,ho saqta hai aane me thodi der ho,6 baje ka appointment hai sudhir se,nidhi ke ..."baba gulped..as nidhi sat in the car..Dr ashutosh decided to drive thru shah najaf road n not via gomti nagar,nidhi looked at him"kahaan jaa rahe hain..hospital nahi jaana kya"??ashutosh replied without looking at her"hospital hee jaana hai,per woh road bahut kharaab ho gayee hai..tumhe taqleef hoti jhatkon me..."nidhi looked at him..her pain being reflected in the depth of his eyes...sainyaan..
Both had a v busy day,which was a relief otherwise it d have been virtually impoasible to survive..as nidhi finished her child ward round...she came to the common room,n just sat on the sofa..looking out ..at the evening drawing in..n then as she realised that it was probably just a matter f hours or at most a day before she lost her baby...their baby...already a part of her...nidhi wanted to put a hand on her stomach...but she did not..she just broke down..sobbing helplessly..Dr ashutosh sat in his cabin ,his surgeries over..he looked around,each corner of the cabin reminded him of his n nidhi's love story...after he makes her abort ..will nidhi love him the same way??will it harm their relationship for ever?will nidhi never understand that he was taking this extreme step to save her life..their life..??whydidnt she realize nishu needs her..her lifecan just not be risked...Dr ashutosh got up with a firm resolve n rang the bell...as luxmi bai came he said,"dr nidhi ko bula deejiye plz..kahiye mai wait kar raha hoon"

As ashutosh drove to dr sudhir,he could see,from the corner of his eye,nifhi sitting like a wilted flower..wiping tears from her eyes..ashutosh chose to keep quiet..words failed him..once again..nidhi looked at him...realising that he probably hadnothing to say...As they entered dr sudhir's cabin,sudhir got up,to shake hands with ashutosh..n as he looked at a v quiet nidhi..he gave ashutosh a questioning look...as they sat,sudhir started the conversation"so,both of you have decide to terminate the pregnancy.."??ashutosh looked at nidhi n spoke"yes...i have decided..it d be too much for nidhi.."sudhir looked up at nidhi..as she turned her face away"nidhi..nidhi kya chahti hai..."nidhi bit her lip..Dr ashutosh got up,impatiently putting his hands in his pockets,"sudhir,at least you should remember..how nidhi suffered through the 9 months last time..yaad hai..even the check ups used to be a torture..raat ko so nahi paati thi...baith nahi paati tho..pain bouts...oh how can i ever forget"shouted ashutosh...sudhir looked at him..passively n then at nidhi..."i agree ashutosh,it was a terrible pregnancy..but that was bcoz the baby was big..maybe this time it is not so..may be its normal sized..so??"ashutosh retorted"and what about her weak uterus..the wounds in the birth canal??will they be able to bear the abrasion again..you tell mewhat advice d you have given to some other patient"??dr sudhir seemed at a loss of words...n then rallied "see ashutosh ,what you are saying is not wrong at all..nidhi n you as well suffered like hell...but i feel lets give it another chance..maybe wait n watch for another month...n then go in for the same procedure"ashutosh smiled a bitter smile,looked at nidhi..sitting quietly..controlling the storm within..."you feel,i did not think of this option??but what if ,the baby is actually big..n we have to do an m.t.p.wouldnt it be dangerous at 12 weeks or more..n the emotional connect..between the baby n nidhi..it d have grown..making it so much more tough..."as he said so,a gasp of pain..of the agony to come..escaped nidhi's white lips...ashutosh heard it,..saw her face lose its colour ...ashutosh winced in his own angst...as he put an arm around nidhi...ashutosh looked at sudhir...exasperation n pain seeming to break the bonds.."as a doctor sudhir,humaare liye patient ki khushi se zuroori uski safety hai...you tell me..sudhir..had you been in my position...tum kya karte"??sudhir got up silently..contemplating the answer ,measuring his response...n uttered"ashutosh..had i been in your place,i would have been more responsible...i wouldnt have let my frail wife get pregnant...this is what i d have done..do you realize..first due to your irresponsible behaviour,she has concieved...n now she is gonna suffer the agony of an abortion.all because of you.."as dr ashutosh closed his eyes..to shut off his pain ..sudhir realized he had overstepped...ashutosh looked away..trying to retain his composure...the guilt of putting nidhi thru all this writ large n clear across his face..nidhi looked at ashutosh..her ashutosh ,getting crushed under guilt..under pain..she calmly interjected"sir...i realize the problem..unhe blame nahi kariye..mai taiyyaar hoon abortion ke liye..."ashutosh looked at her with the look of a surgeon..trying to examine her emotional intricasies...sudhir got up.."chalo then,if you are ready..lets go for an examination first.."

As the nurse came to take nidhi for changing,ashutosh got up to accompany her..nidhi smiled n said"dont worry,aap baithiye sir ke saath..i am okay"ashutosh mirrored pain in his eyes,..as nidhi walked away...slowly..he knew he was hurting her..but did he have any option??As dr sudhir n dr ashutosh entered the examination room,nidhi lay in the gown on the table...sudhir smiled at her..n she tried to smile back..he pressed her abdomen..feeling the foetus probably..n then as he wore his gloves n went behind the screen to examine her cervix,ashutosh stood close to nidhi...recalling how she used to wreck herself during the check up in nishu's time..as dr sudhir examined her cervix,ashutosh had his eyes fixed on her face..nidhi turned away...wincing...n not allowing her tears to flow out of her eyes..."as sudhir completed,he said"chalo,we d discuss in my cabin...sister ,nidhi ko le ayeeyaga..change karwa ke.."as he walked away,ashutosh put an arm around nidhi's waist..trying to make her sit...nidhi did not resist..but she just whispered"mai manage kar loongi..aap jaaiye..sir must be waiting"In dr sudhir's room,ashutosh looked at him ..waiting for his diagnosis..as nidhi sat,n ashutosh glanced at her..concerned,sudhir began"well ashutosh n nidhi..the foetus is about 9 weeks old..as of now,it doent seem as big as nishu was..but its difficult to say with guarantee right now..yes nidhi's uterus has healed..but the birth canal..its still tender..so..i guess its a sticky 50:50 situation...n considering nidhi's past history..n the fact that she seems ok with an abortion,i too feel..we may go ahead..though i d still say ..its 50 :50 so even keeping the pregnancy wont be wrong,but finally its your call..."ashutosh kept quiet..to his surprise,nidhi asked"sir,when do i have to come for the m.t.p."??ashutosh breathed a sigh of what was almost relief...as sudhir said"tomorrow,8 a.m n empty stomach nidhi...""yes sir.."said nidhi as she got up...ashutosh shook hands n thanked sudhir..who still was looking at nidhi...

During the drive back home,ashutosh held nidhi's hand ,giving it a squeeze he said"thank you nidhi..for supporting my decision,...thanx...chalo ab dekho nishu wait kar raha hoga"as nidhi nodded,n ashutosh withdrew his hand,he could feel a deep gloom in her feel...the kind he had felt when she had come to meet him as he lay injured in the hospital..As they reached home...baba n armaan were waiting anxiously..ashutosh saw the question in baba's eyes..as he replied"tomorrow 8 a.m. per nidhi maan gayee hai..."baba nodded..as he looked towards the kitchen where nidhi was telling kaka n maxi to lay the table n get a paratha n sugar for nishu..nishu seemed to be in a jolly mood n wanted nidhi tojump with him...ashutosh saw..as nidhi put a hand on her belly n took a small jump...he could see a mother's instinct...as he got up n took nishu.."come nishu,papa jump karega,mamma tired hai..."and he looked as nidhi seemed torush into the bedroom...At dinner ,nidhi served everyone n even laughed at armaan's jokes,finally excusing herself to put nishu to bed,ashu seemed to smile as she left with nishu jumping behind her...baba tapped ashu's hand as he got up to leave.."ashu...dekhna nidhi ko...khayaal rakhna raat mei...theek nahi lag rahi ..mujhe woh..."ashu understood n nodded..he too felt tense..simewhat scared..thinking of what nidhi must be thinking n going thru at the moment...As ashutosh came in,nidhi was patting nishu..humming a song for him..ashu could make out..it was her favourite.."chanda hai tu mera suraj hai tu..o meri aankhon ka taara hai tu..."ashu smiled...as he sat on the sofa..wondering what would nidhi have sung ..if they had had a daughter...ashu gulped n looked away...unable to blink his tears...He got up to carry nishu to his bed...n then as they retired,he tenderly took nidhi in his arms...nidhi did not resist...but he could feel her agony...he kissed her...her lips seemed white..her face pale..she tried to respond..but began to cough violently...as ashutosh panicked..pulling her into sitting position n rubbing her back...she lay back..quiet n lost...Ashutosh put his arm around her...finally spreading his hand on her belly...the last tribute to their unborn baby...he thought nidhi would cover his hand eith hers...or cry...but she did neither..she just lay...quietly..slowly drifting into sleep...At about 4 in the morning,ashutosh tried to feel her...but all he could sense was emptiness..he panicked as he opened his eyes...looking for nidhi...she was not there in the toilet..he went to the kitchen...no..wasnt there too..he rushed back..n finally into nishu's room...there she was..her hand on nishu's forehead..n in the other..she cluthched something...what was it...ashutosh had an intense fear..was she trying to kill herself...nooo...he tried to open her fist..nidhi opened her eyes...he seemed to have violated her privacy..her solitude for the first time..ever..he looked at her..angrily..nidhi saw the worry...camouflaged as anger...n understood...she opened her hand...as if showing her most personal part to ashutosh...she looked away..as a cute lil doll fell out of her hands...the same one which ashutosh had picked when dadibua had organised nidhi's gode bharaai...nidhi had been with her children..one born n the other unborn..the doll seemed the personification of the unborn daughter...ashu seemed shaken...more bcoz nidhi did not say anything...he put the doll back on the shelf.. n returned to the bedroom...bringing a silent nidhi along...

In the morning as nidhi dressed in a light cream churidaar kurta...he wanted to hug her tight ..to put their hands together on the baby ...to say sorry to their baby...to console n hold each other...as he came closer...trying to...nidhi looked up..n said"aap naashta ker leejiye...mujhe to empty stomach jaana hai..."as she got up..ashu's eyes trailed her...trying to feel beneath this apparent calm...As ashutosh gulped down his breakfast...finding it difficult...he got up..this had to be over..."chalo nidhi"nidhi got up..kissing nishu tenderly ..n then as baba came to her...she bent to touch his feet...baba patted her hairnot knowing what blessing to give ...he withdrew his hand..as armaan came n helped nidhi sit in the car...looking at ashu...n then walking back...Dr ashutosh started the car..The roads were crowded,with holi just 5 days away...shops had extensions on the road selling colour n gulaal..ashu wondered what this holi d be like...as he glanced up to nidhi...smiling to find her fast asleep...pregnancy means sleeping for two...that is what she used to say when she was carrying nishu...It was good,if she slept till they reached..she would atleast be free of the agonising wait..the anxiety..how painful will the actual procedure be??will it scar her emotionally...for ever...??will she be able to get over the loss n smile again...??while ashutosh was caught in the web of these thoughts..nidhi was seeing distorted..strange visions..she was carrying a lil girl..n running across fields of fire...danger all around..as the baby cried relentlessly..n nidhi held her tighter to her breast..running all the time..n then there was a strange dark shadow...that seemed to engulf her n suck out the baby from her arms...as nidhi wailed...n shrieked"aaahhh..chod do..plz...chod do..."ashutosh brought the car to a screeching halt...as nidhi sat up white as a shroud...her eyes blank...As ashutosh tried to hold her..n ask"kya hua..nidhi...phir sapna dekha...bura"??nidhi seemed to cringe at his touch...squeezing herself into a corner,..her hand on her baby bump...looking absolutely shaken with fear...

As ashutosh stopped the car at dr sudhir's nursing home,he came out to help nidhi..but she got down..by herself n walked behind him..in absolute silence..as ashitosh entered the chamber..sudhir asked"so..ready??where is nidhi"??ashutosh looked behind..shocked not to find her behind him...n darted out...Nidhi was standing in the corridoor..looking at a couple walk out happily with their tiny infant in their arms..she seemed absorbed...mesmerised...n infinitely sad...As she saw ashutosh,she wiped her hands on her kurta n mumbled 'sorry'as she came in n wished sudhir..Sudhir checked her blood pressure,it was normal..n then he looked up to ashutosh.."i will relieve her immiediately,take her home ..n let her sleep..rest for 2 days before she can join work..."n then as sudhir called the sister to take nidhi..he drew out a form from his drawer n gave it to ashutosh.."consent form..plz sign ashutosh..."nidhi got up as the nurse touched her shoulder softly...an she got up to walk..her head bowed...as ashu looked at her..n then at the form..his signature d end the shadow of danger that was probably threatning his nidhi...but will it not take her away from him...emotionally..will he see the magic of her smile ..the sunshine of her laughter again??it was his mistake...n he was punishing her...doubly...dr ashutosh looked at sudhir as he questioned "kya..hardstone??second thoughts"??ashutosh closed his eyes as the picture of a scared nidhi..cringing away from his touch..flashed into his mind...he threw away the pen..n rushed out..nidhi was not there...sudhir came n put a hand on his shoulder to calm him..."o.t...you can go"ashutosh rushed up..taking two stairs at a time..not bothering to wait for the lift..he came to the o.t...sudhir came by n told him to go in...

As ashutosh entered,he saw nidhi in the blue gown...on the operation table,the nurse had exposed her lower half for the doctor...n nidhi had her eyes shut...shut from the gruesome reality...the pain the agony..the conflict...ashutosh softly said"nidhi...aankein kholo...plz.."nidhi opened her eyes...never failing to respond to his command..ashutosh gulped hard ...and then held her hand in his left hand..."chalo nidhi...khushiyon ko ek aur mauka deke dekhte hain...kya pata tumhari khwaaish poori ho hi jaaye..."n saying so he pulled nidhi's gown to cover her..n then placing his warm protective hand on her belly..said"chalo..ghar chalein...humaari beti hungry hogi...aur uski maa bhi..."nidhi looked dazed..n as the words sank in..she slowly covered ashutosh's hand on her belly with her own...as he continued"jo bhi hoga,saath saath face karenge...lets give the baby a chance..."and as tears flowed out of nidhi's eyes now...ashutosh looked at them..the drops that were the confluence of their love,their fears..their shared agony...n now their hope...their dream...

As ashutosh made nidhi sit in the car n started it,the song that reverberated in the car..filled them with hope..with joy..with a renewed faith in each other...
TERA MERA SAATH RAHE,TERA MERA SAATH RAHE
DHOOP HO ,CHAAYA HO,DIN HO KE RAAT RAHE
TERA MERA SAATH RAHE...

As dr ashutosh stopped the car at mathur niwaas,he got down n opened nidhi's door..n extended his hand.nidhi looked up smiling,realising the symbolism in the gesture..she quietly put her hand in his..just as in their marriage..ashutosh brought her in,his arm around her waist..baba n armaan ran ..expecting to find a sad broken nidhi..but lo!!!they came to a smiling ashutosh n nidhi..as baba looked at ashu questioningly,he bent down n touched his feet as a blushing nidhi went into the bedroom..ashu looked at her n smiled..turning to baba he said"baba,we have decided to keep the baby...dr sudhor said there is no cause of immediate worry..and nidhi bahut crack ker jaati emotionally..so lets wait n watch..."baba nodded..but turning serious he said"ashu,bahut dhyaan dena hoga beta..."ashutosh nodded"jee baba,dhyaan to rakhoonga hi...n we have to keep our fingers crossed..kaam pe le jaaya karoonga,i feel that will be good,sudhir also feels so..although ultrasound to 12 weeks pe hoga..bit sudhir is confident ki baby is of a normal size..."baba smiled n patted ashutosh"zyaada chinta na kar...kuch cheezein bhagwaan ke haath me hoti hain...agar unki marzi hogi to..teri bitiya zuroor khelegi is aangan me...yaad rakh ashu jahaan humaare vigyaan ki hud khatm hoti hai..wahi se bhagwaan ke vishwaas ki duniya shuroo hoti hai...mere operation ke waqt bhi to..yaad hai na...so hausla rakh..vishwaas rakh..."armaan came n hugged ashu...tears in his eyes.."ab mai do do bachchon ka chacha ban jaoonga..cant believe it.."Dr ashutosh came into the room..nidhi was standing..looking at their honeymoon photos...as ashutosh put his arms around her..she whispered"yeh kahaan socha tha ki sab sapne poore honge..."ashutosh caressed her shoulders'"yes nidhi..jab mai kerala se lauta tha..akela ,tab mano zindagi ek bojh lagti thi...lekin phir tum waapas aa gayeen...aur meri aankhon ko sapne dekhne ki aadat daal di..."nidhi snuggled closer n said"aur ab to humaare sab sapne poore ho jaayenge..."ashutosh smiled..n then turning her around,said in mock anger"dr nidhi..shaayari kaafi ho gayee...ab kuch kha lein..shayad tumhe yaad nahi ki pregnancy me bhooke nahi rehte"

As ashu nidhi sat for breakfast ,armaan joined in..nidhi said"arre aapne to naashta ker liya tha..ab phir"??armaan puled nidhi's nose n said"my dear bhabhiji..subah to kuch khaaya nahi gayaa..ab aapki khushkhabri sun ke lagi hai bhook...bhai mujhe strong banana hai..do bachchon ka chacha ..aasaan baat thode hi hai...phir tum dono to thehre drs..dhyasn to mujhe aur baba ko hi rakhna hoga"!!!n all roared in laughter..just then maxi brought nishu from his pram ride..seeing his parents at this hour,he seemed confused but as ashutosh rose to take him,he ran around..with ashutosh after him n then as he caught him both laughed...nishu came to nidhi.."mamma...mumm"n nidhi understood he wanted water...as she gave him the sipper,he sucked...n then threw the sipper away..jumping at the sound..as nidhi bent to pick it up..ashu raised his eyebrow"dhyaan se nidhi..."n nidhi smiled..love overflowing in her eyes.ashutosh came into the room..nidhi was putting his suits in the hangers..he asked"hospital chalogi ya..."??nidhi closed the almira n replied"chaloongi..kyu nahi..aaj kal to pregnant mothers 9 months tak kaam karti hain..."ashutosh caught her arm n retorted"jaanta hoon..women's emancipation ko...per mujhe tumhare career se zyaada tumhari tabiyat ki fikr hai..samjhi"??nidhi looked down..as ashutosh got up to hold her face in his hands"hey doc,naaraaz nahi hu,bas careful rehna chahta hoon...per yes i agree jab tak theek feel kar rahi ho..kaam karo..."

As ashutosh nidhi walked into the corridoors of kgh,nidhi reminded him"parson holi hai,dr dubey ko invite kar leejiyega..dr ranganath ko mai keh doongi"ashutosh nodded as he went into his cabin n nidhi on her duty.dr ashutosh saw the duty chart,today dr priyanka was on rural duty...the mission was on but many more trips were needed..contemplated ashutosh...as dr ranganth came in with his surgery schedule..it was as usual a busy day..He emerged out of the o.t at 3 and after changing went to look for nidhi..she was in the children's ward,tending to the patients,changing them..helping the nurse..n giving injections ..something she was great at..n the mesmerised kids smiled as she injected them...ashutosh entered,confronting nidhi'"tumne khaana khaaya..juice piya?"nidhi looked around consciously as the nurse seemed surprised at this overt concern of the m.d. for his wife..nidhi said"sshhh..dheere boliye...sab sun lenge..."ashutosh seemed non plussed,scratching his beard ,he asked"is it supposed to be a secret...that my wife is .."nidhi cut him short ,n holding his hand almost dragged him out of the ward into his cabin.."kya kar rahe hain..sabko nahi bataaiye abhi..."ashu asked"per kyon"??nidhi blushed beet root n leaned against him"mujhe sharm aati hai"ashutosh gave an exasperated look"tum aurtein bhi na...unpredictable hoti ho...n dr nidhi..mai iss pregnancy ko koi secret nahi rakhne wala hoon..chalo ab jaao..kaam karo"as nidhi pouted,ashutosh caught her by her shoulders n sucked her pout in a most possessive kiss...nidhi was almost breathless as he withdrew...n went out ..leaving her..emotionally intoxicated in the cabin...
Dr ashutosh entered dr dubey's cabin.as they discussed the grant issue,dr dubey accepted"ashutosh,we need to speed up the rural trips...at this pace we eill miss our target...now there should be three trips in a week..there ate so many drs...give them extra payment...what do you say"?ashutosh looked thoughtfull n replied"ok,sir i will tell dr ranganath to draw a chart n i shall see...we wont miss our grant..its vital for the hospital..."dr dubey interrupted"ashutosh,aaj kya baat thi tum bahut late aaye..dr mathur to theek hain"?ashutosh smiled"woh,baba to theek hain sir..lekin nidhi ko dr sudhir ke yahaan le gayaa tha...".."why kya kuch khaas..."?asked dr dubey.ashutosh seemed half worried half happy as he repkied"actually sir..nidhi is pregnant again...so for check up"dr dubey gave a paternal smile"congratulations ashutosh..bhai mithaai khilaao,..family poori ho jaayegi..itna muh kyu utra hai tumhara"?ashutosh smiled as he said"sir..bas nidhi ki liye chinta hai..abhi choti hai...aur first pregnancy difficult thi..."dr dubey came n patted him"ashutosh..yeh socho,ki tumhari umr to badh rahi hai...der se bachche honge to settle kab karoge...aur dont worry,sudhir is a v good dr..kuch nahi hoga dr nidhi ko...haan khush hain woh..ya"?"nahi sir..she is delighted...we hope for a daughter this time"!!dr dubey blessed ashutosh as he got up.n then ashutosh recalled"oh sir...nidhi is having a holi party on sunday..aap zuroor aayiyega at 11 in the day..."

As the family sat for dinner,nidhi seemed full of energy n vigour as she fed nishu ,playing akl the while with him...baba observed n said"sach ashu..nidhi jitni energy..itni positivity hona mushkil hai..."!!ashutosh smiled as nidhi added"baba,agar mai positive nahi hoti to dr hardstone ke melt hone ka koi chance nahi tha"!!n armaan roared in laughter..finally nidhi said"haan sunday ko holi hai..baba aap plz mere baba aur dadibua,solanki uncle aunty ko invite kar leejiyega..main gunjhiya,pakore,nimki,kachori thandai sab bana rahi hoon..per decoration armaan ji aapke zimme raha.."armaan bowed n said"jo aagya bhabhiji"n nidhi pouted n left...dr ashutosh entered the bedroom with a sleeping nishu in his arms..n settled him,thereafter looking at nidhi ,changing into her red nightie"bahut active hai nishu..bilkul tumpe gaya hai..ek minute aaraam nahi..."nidhi gave a naughty smile.."yeh baby aap pe jaayegi..lazy hogi.aap ki tarah..pehle aap kehte the "nidhi..raaton ko neend nahi aati.."aur ab uthaate hue thak jaati hoon mai...paanch minute aur karte rehte hain"ashutoshwalked close,holding nidhi ,he answered"..pehle meri raatein akeli..sooni thi...neend nahi aati thi kyunki andhere se darta tha..koi sapne nahi the in aankhon me..jabse tum aayi ho,..sapne bhi hain ..aur unhe dekhne ke liye neend bhi..per tum sone kahaan deti ho..."nidhi blushed n looked away..ashu caressed her hair"hey doc!!mujhse sharam karke kahaan jaaogi...i know you inside out..."nidhi lowered her eyes,turning serious ,she said"apnebaby se baat nahi karenge"?ashu sighed as nidhi lay n he sat by her...opening her nightie..to see n feel their creation...as his hand spread across her belly,nidhi felt a warmth spread in her..the warmth of his love...ashu caressed her n said"slight bump aane laga hai..dekho"he put her hand on it...and then bent to kiss her ...as he took nidhi in his arms,she asked"dr ashutosh...aap pyaar to karenge na isse"??ashutosh smiled"offcourse nidhi,pyaar kyu nahi karoonga..isse bhi aur iski mummy ko bhi,..per nidhi we will have to take care..abhi sab theek hai..but still"nidhi nodded understanding his concern..she said"aap chinta nahi kariye..i am fine..aur phir aap to hain hi mere paas...humesha.."ashu kissed her on the forehead...n said"yes..humesha..humesha...aur haan,maine cs ko bulaya hai holi ki taiyyariyon ke liye..no overwork...samjhi"?nidhi smiled..."aap itni chinta kyu karte hain..meri"?ashu hugged her tightly n whispered"kyunki ab mai tumhare bina zindagi ki kalpana bhi nahi kar sakta...tumhari aadat ho gayee hai mujhe"nidhi settled in his arms..xlosing her eyes to everything except the reassuring touch of his big hands...around her waist..she hummed an old favourite

JEETII HOON TUMHE DEKH KE ,MARTI HOON TUMHI PE
TUM HO JAHAAN SAAJAN MERI DUNIYA HAI WAHIN PE
EK TERE BHAROSE PE SAB BAITHI HOON BOOL KE
YUNHI UMR GUZAR JAAYE TERE SAATH GUZAR JAAYE...
ashutosh smiled..n held her tighter..pushing away all worries,all apprehensions...

It was the evening before holi and as dr ashutosh returned from hospital, armaan was getting the arrangements done outside,while baba seemed busy showing nishu his new water spray,that delighted him no end and as he saw ashu he ran to hug his leg..it was a beautiful sight ,lil nishu in his green shorts and yellow tees hugging ashu really tight and refusing to let go even as baba tried to pull him saying"nishu ,papa ko haath to dho lene do beta"!finally ashutosh had to use his water spray to wash his hands as nishu looked on,hands on his knees, completely mesmerised by his father...and then as ashutosh finally took him in his arms ,nishu hugged him n put kiss on his cheek..bringing a wide smile to ashutosh's face.As they came in, they saw nidhi making gunjhiyas ,mathris,kachoris n pue were all ready, as chote sarkaar arranged things ,kaka got hare chane"lo nidhi beti ,aa gaye ashutosh ke hare chane"nidhi smiled and said"thank you kaka,ab bus chai bana deejiye aur sandwich maine bana diye hain, phir aap aaraam kariye,dinner aaj maxi aur cs ke zimme ,dekhe kya karte hain dono"cs retorted"beebiji,hume challenge mat kariye,humne dadi bua ke haath ke neeche kaam kiya hai...poori paltan ka khaana bana sakte hain.."ashutosh,who was at the doorway butted in"arre sarkar,aap paltan ka khaana baad me banaaiyega pehle hume sandwich khila deejiye aur nidhi,tum idhar aao plz" As nidhi adjusted her dupatta n eent into the room,nishu was jumping around,and ashutosh looked at her.."maine cs ko isliye bulaaya tha ki tum kam strain lo...sab kuch mangwaaya bhi to jaa sakta tha" nidhi smiled n held his tie"my dear husband,aap chinta nahi kariye, main theek hoon ..i am fine..i know mai kitna strain bear kar sakti hoon,after all its not the first time...dekhiye..aapki beti bhi theek hai..hullo,feel keejiye "and she put ashu's hand on her tummy...as a satisfied smile spread on ashu's face..drawing her closer,he kissed her forehead..n just then lil nishu threw away the toy he had been playing with n tugged at ashu."leejiye ,ab ise pyaar kariye pehle...jab woh bhi aa jaayegi ..tab to aap mujhe dekhengi bhi nahi..."as nidhi pouted ,ashu laughed n kissed her on her cheek n then put nishu's lips on her cheek..,as nidhi smiled,ashu put his arm around her..holding her close..till nishu thought it was a boring game n wriggled out.Nidhi took out ashu's clothes from the almirah as he went in to bathe,emerging a little later in his blue towel..smiling as he saw all his things neatly arranged.As he combed his hair ,he reflected that it seemed to be an easy pregnancy this time...he seemed really relieved..and a little excited now to see n feel nidhi grow big ...and then the arrival of what both hoped d be their daughter..

Ashutosh sat with the family for tea n sandwiches n baba said"ashu kal 11 baje se ghar ki duty..samajh gaya na"??ashutosh smiled n said"baba agar emergency hogayi to jaana hi padega..."nidhi interrupted"aapki emergency ka to jawaab nahi...woh to humaari suhaag..."n then bit her tongue as she realised what she was goimng to say , n armaan n baba laughed,armaan saying "shukr kar nidhi,pheron meemergency call nahi ayee ,nahi to 4 phere abhi...aur 3 operation ke baad"as ashutosh showed his eyes to armaan,baba played the peace maker..."chalo jhagda nahi...achcha ashu tu ne dr dubey ko kaha"??"jee baba"armaan was making nishu clap n looked teasingly at ashutosh"kal mazaa ayega,papa ko bhaang pilaayenge..."ashu pulled armaan's ear n the banter ceased.Ashutosh looked at baba n armaan with serious eyes , as nidhi sat munching a sandwich ,"actually mai chahta hoon,3 baje tak sab over ho jaaye,so that nidhi can rest...aap to jaante hain..jab tak holi chalegi..tab tak yeh bachchi bani rahegi..."baba nodded"u r right doc,2.30 tak sabko bye kar denge...aakhir meri bahu ko aaraam bhi to chahiye..hai na"completed baba,holding nidhi's chin..as she turned pink..

Every thing was arranged,food colours ,gulaal,decorations when nidhi came into her bedroom,nishu had already slept off and ashutosh was flipping thru a journal "ho gayee taiyaari ki raat bhar kaam karogi"??asked an irritated ashu, nidhi smiled n came close,"bus aapka gussa to naak pe rakha rehta hai,..thoda temper improve kariye dr ashutosh ab do do bachchon ke papa ban ne waale hain aap"Ashu,pulled nidhi to the bed,chup chaap leti raho ab..ek lafz bhi bola to punish karoonga..samjhi"? Nidhi gave a naughty smile "aapka punishment sir aankhon pe...deejiye na,.."ashu broke into an exasperated smile"nidhi...mai tumhara kya karoon"??nidhi hugged him"same question..kitni baar to bata chuki hoon..pyaar keejiye..aurkya"??dr ashutosh seemed in no mood to relent to nidhi's naughtiness n said "chalo,let me examine your feet..swelling to nahi hai"nidhi held his kurta,"paaon kya,aap ko jo bhi examine karna hai..."n ashutosh gave her a frosty dr hardstone look...and nidhi pouted"sorry,leejiye dekh leejiye feet..koi swelling nahi hai"ashu examined her fet which were surprisingly fine...as he sighed in relief,nidhi hugged him close,wanting him closer...he smiled n kissed her"hey nidhi...bahut raat ho gayee hai...tumhe rest chahiye..chalo so jao plz"nidhi seemed disappointed..but dr ashutosh drew her to him n kissed her once again..she settled on his hary chest n finally drifted into deep sleep...

A deep kiss pulled nidhi out of her slumber...dr ashutosh was sitting beside her,tea in hand.nidhi looked at the watch..7a.m.she tried to get up,but dr ashutosh held her back "abhi kuch nahi karna hai,baba aur armaan ko chaai mil chuki hai,nishu soraha hai,sab arrangements ready hain aur col verma se baat ho gayee hai meri ,11 baje se pehle koi nahi aayega...so dr nidhi ,prescription hai,pati ke haaton ki banayee hui chaai aur ye biscuit.."nidhi smiled as she took a sip from the mug n handed it over to dr ashutosh..as he sipped he observed"yaad hai woh holi...jab tum..."nidhi blushed remembering how she had rushed to the hospital in her gown for the pregnancy test...she added"aur is holi pe...yeh aane waali hai...tell me dr ashutosh ,aapko kaisa lagta hai"??ashutosh kept the mug n looked at nidhi...that look of his which was louder than all words could say...sainyaan...but then ashu held her hands and added ,"mujhe sabse pehle tumhaari chinta rehti hai...but yes..i cant deny that i am delighted nidhi...tumne to meri duniya hi badal di"

Ashutosh dressed in white lucknow kaam kurta pyjama while nidhi wore a white sari with a chunri border n a red blouse,as they got ready ,nishu walked into the room,rubbing his eyes"hey,sona,apne aap utra bed se"??n nidhi kissed him.,Dr ashutosh said"isse mujhe do,tum baaki sab kuch dekho..okay"?? Nidhi smiled as nishu held dr ashutosh 's hand..not even reaching his knees...but the father son duo looked in complete harmony...as nidhi went out,ashu took nishu to bathe,nishu wanted the shower...but ashutosh smiled.."dekho papa nahaliya...ab geela hoga to mamma maaregi...so jaldi se nhaai nhaai karo..good boy..phir nanaji aayenge..bua nani bhi..anji mausi..khushi"engrossed in talks,nishu obeyed ashu's commands and was soon bathed n ready in white tees n brown shorts..As the duo came out,baba smiled n hugged ashu"holi mubaarak beta...bhagwaan kare humaara ghar..aise hi hansta khelta rahe..."n nidhi got a tray of gunjhiyas ,with silver work..n as she bent to touch baba's feet ,he held her..to her heart.."khush reh meri bachchi..tu kya aayee,yeh ghar hi badal gaya..."n then armaan emerged with a new water sprayer in the shape of an aeroplane...sprinkling water at nishu..."holi haiii"cried chote sarkaar.. as guests began to pour in..first solanki sahib n shyaama aunty followed by dr dubey n then dadibua n col verma ,.everyone sat n began to talk..nidhi was restless ..after all where was anji??n lo just then anji,dr ranganath lil khushi in a white churidaar kurta accompanied by dhol waalas entered mathur niwaas,as anji came n hugged nidhi n then ashutosh,armaan n dr ranganath exhorted the dholwalas to start..as the symphony of "aaj na chodenge bas humjoli khelenge hum holi..."began to fill the air...solanki uncle gulped down 4 gunjhiyaas n pulled shyaama aunty to dance...everyone seemed enthralled as aunty sprayed gulaal on solanki sahib..n then as usual, chote sarkaar pulled dadi bua n the two seemed to compete with eachother..on the tune of "holi khele raghubira awadh mei..."as ranganath n anji got a glass of thandaai for ashutosh ,he backed off"no ranganath...bilkul nahi..."n poor armaan had to gulp it down...ranga n anji began to dance to"holi aayee holi aaye,dekho holi aaye re..."n suddenly to every body's surprise dr ashutosh got up...holding nidhi's hand n serenaded..."yehi din tha ,yehi mausam...zubaa jab humne kholi thi..."n as nidhi blushed pink,armaan joined"kahaan gayee bhala woh din ki jab apni bhi holi thi..."and all got up...to join as ashutosh looked at nidhi ..n she cleared her throat to continue the song"tum ho to...her raat diwali ..her din meri holi hai..tum ho to..."as an overwhelmed ashu put some red gulaal on her cheeks..she stood..rooted to the spot...looking at him...the words "tum ho to her raat diwali ..her din meri holi hai..tum ho to"echoing in her heart n ..then suddenly armaan lifted nishu n repeated"tu hai to..her raat diwali..her din meri holi hai...nishu hai to..."n nidhi ashitosh looked at armaan as he held nishu,covered with colour,..close to his heart...it was a moment..when their nidhu had brought genuine joy to his lonely chacha...n the song "holi aaye..."went on..

Nidhi n maxi brought out the food as maxi took great care of dadi bua...she gave her a stern look n then said"e ladki.. theek se kaam seekh le..aana tujhe mere hi ghar hai"as maxi blushed,dadi bua pulled her ear..n then turning to baba said"samdhiji..ye bachche sochte hain ki hum to bewkoof hain..kuch pata hi nahi hume...bus ab iski aur chote sarkaar ki shaadi karwa do..haan nahi to" armaan chipped in"dadi bua,woh to theek hai..lekin din me maxi humaare yahaan rahegi..raat ko cs le jaaya karega..kyun maxi"??dadi bua fumed"aise nahi hota..hum ladke wale hain..maxi ko shift hona hoga...humaare ghar..kyun heeramanji aap hi bataao"finally col verma bought peace..abhi baat pukki ho gayi..nidhi ko ek achchi maid dhoond lene deejiye..phir shaadi..kyun sarkaar..manzoor hai na"??anji laughed"haan tab tak chote sarkaar..dukh bhare gaane gaa ke din kaat lenge.."!!!As others ate n chatted,ashutosh stole a moment eith his father in law "col verma, nidhi is fine..at least as of now..so we have decided to continue...plz do not think..i will risk nidhi's safety...kabhi nahi"col verma smiled n patted ashutosh affectionately"ashutosh,mujhe tum per poora bharosa hai..mai jaanta hoon tum nidhi ko humse zyaada chahte ho...i know you will do whatever is the best...hum humesha tumhare saath hain...dont worry"ashutosh seemed relaxed n reassured as he looked back at nidhi..trying to clean nishu's cjeeks with her aanchal while nishu was putting more colour on himself as well as on her...holding his water pistol,he sprayed everybody...n as khushi held his hand,the two walked into the garden..nidhi n anji watched..as nidhi said"dekh anji..humaare bachche bhi dosti kar rahe hain..hai na..."??and anji smiled...squeezing her best friend's hand.As everyone was having lunch in the lawn, baba came to sit with dr dubey.."bataaiye dubeyji..nidhi kaam to karti hai na theek se..hospital me..ki abhi bhi shaitaaniyaan jaari hain"??dr dubey smiled n replied "dr mathur..kam umr hai to shaitaani to karti hi hai..per as a dr bahut dedicated hai...aur sabse badi baat..usne ashutosh ko kaise sambhala hai..kaise badla hai..muje to taajjub hai.." baba smiled n looked at dr dubey"jaante ho dr dubey,jo humaara gyaan, vigyaan ,humaari mehnat..padhaai degrees barson me nahi kar paati..woh pyaar ek pal me kar deta hai..."n the two old men smiled as they looked at ashutosh n nidhi..trying to control nishu...

As everyone was feeling tired and needed a change,it was time to say adieu,first to leave were dadi bua n cv..dadi bua hugged nidhi n then patted dr ashutosh"daaktar..kisi cheez ki zuroorat ho to fauren phone karna,..aur tu ladki..daaktar ki baat maanna.."ashutosh smiled as he wondeted how dadibua had developed a deep faith in him..though initially she had been v apprehensive...throwing barbs about his age,..but ever after he accepted that she had been right about mallika,the ice had thawed n dadi bua was the biggest supporter of ashutosh, as ashu touched her feet,she blessed him.."iss baar aur zordaar godbharaai karenge..kyun yog"??"haan haan bua zuroor.."n then as solankis were about to leave ,anji came to ashutosh,"jeejaji,ek favour chahiye tha aapse.."ashutosh smiled"bolo anji..anything for u..."dr ranganth smiled at the affection that dr ashutosh had for anji..."actually jeejaji,next week, khushi ke liye ek fancy dress party n song n dance rakh rahe hain..so i just wanted..ki..ki agar nidhi aa jati to help ho jati meri..dont worry,kuch bhari kaam nahi ..."ashutosh put his hand on anji's head n smiled"sure anji..kyu nahi aayegi nidhi zuroor aayegi..aur nishu bhi..ise bhi to do bache sambhlne ki aadat honi chahiye..."armaan dropped in"this is not fair anji..hume kisi ne nahi invite kiy..."ranganath hugged armaan n said"armaanji aapke bina koi bhi party kaise poori ho sakti hai..u r most cordially invited n baba aap bhi...plz" as everyone left...nishu tried to hold on to khushi..crying loudly as she said"bye nishu.."ashutosh smiled n lifted him...observing their son missed company...very soon he d have a sibling...nidhi looked at him..thinking exactly the same thoughts...Baba called out"ashu ,ja tu nidhi nishu ko leja,yahaan maxi aur heeraman hai..sab simat jayega..armaan tu bhi change kar nahi to beemar padega phir..jaa"baba had the satisfied smile of a patriarch of a happy home...

As ashutosh came into the bedroom with nishu n nidhi,he signalled nidhi to sit.."baitho tum,isse nehlaata hoon..aur lo pair is stool pe rakho..."in the bath room he n nishu splashed more water..as he soaped n shampooed the baby..n nishu seemed to shake his head nervously as ashu poured water on his hair..he got him out ..wrapped in a yellow towel..ashu smiled as he saw nidhi had dozed off on the chair..ashu applied oil on nishu and then changed him..,putting him on the bed with his blocks ,he said"nishu shhh!!mamma soyi hai..mai abhi aaya..good boy banke..ok"??n nishu smiled...ashutosh found it difficult to scrub out the pink colour that armaan had applied,..n it was with much effort that it became dull..when he emerged ,he found nishu..fast asleep..his block in his hand...ashu changed n took nishu to his bed..n then came in and shook nidhi.."hey, nidhi jaao,nahaa lo.."as nidhi opened her eyes,..ashu put his hand on her cheek...she got up n went in sleepily.."lock nahi karna plz"called a concerned ashutosh..nidhi had a long head bath..but then felt totally drained out..couldnt manage to get up from the bath tub..she called out"suniye..plz "ashutosh had been waiting ..he rushed in ..panic on his face.."kya hua..bolo"nidhi smiled.."kuch nahi..dont worry ,bas uth nahi paa rahi..plz help.."a relieved ashutosh smiled as he bent to put his hands under her underarms and hauled her out..patting her dry..and slipping her nightie on her...as they came back..nidhi asked"nishu.."??"so gayaa..thak gayaa tha..tum bhi so jaao..u look fagged out"nidhi yawned n leaned on ashutosh as he helped her to lie..pressing her back..n then rubbing some lotion on her feet...as he caressed her hair...he looked at her closed eyes...and he bent to kiss them...

And nidhi even in her sleep murmured "hu...dr ashutosh..."he kissed her again n then settled beside her..reflecting how colours had filled his life..nidhi's love was a rainbow across his world...she had so many colours...colour of naughtiness, of desire,of sacrifice...of sharing n caring n love..a deep intense but sublime love...that had helped him to rediscover himself...ashutosh took off his spechs and as he closed his eyes,words of an old song seemed so true as they came to his mind n lips...
HAI DUNIYA USIKI ,ZAMAANA USIKAA
MOHABBAT ME JO HO GAYA HAI KISI KAA...

A few days after holi,ashutosh drove to dr sudhir alone as he entered the chamber,dr sudhir got up"aree ashutosh kya hua..how is nidhi"??ashutosh smiled"dont worry she is fine,..infact abnormally normal..na swelling hai..na discomfort...the bump is also quite normal...thodi morning sickness hai..aur haan soti hai zyaada...which is fine"sudhir was smiling"hey hardstone...to phir chinta kya hai??sab kuch to theek thaak chal raha hai..its just ur anxiety...dont worry..."ashutosh smiled"maybe u r right actually nishu ke time she suffered so much..."sudhir put his hand on ashutosh's "hey thats over..this foetus seems to be normal in size..dont panic..aur main hoon na..do one thing,mondaymorning ko get her for a check up...fine"??ashutosh smiled n shook hands.."thanks sudhir"n left...feeling lighter n better,

In the hospital,it was time for his rounds,but before going into the wards ,he peeped at nidhi's o.p.d.she was examining a pregnant woman,telling her all about a nutritious diet,green vegetables n the importance of keeping clean..ashutosh smiled...his nidhi seemed to be growing up fast...As he entered the wards n began his detailed round.Just as he was finishing the round,dr ranganath came, ashutosh looked up"yes,ranganath"?ranga seemed a little hesitant"sir,actually,mujhe agar aaj shaam thoda jaldi relieve kar de to..."ashutosh raised his eyebrow"why dr ranganath..any problem"??"no sir..actually kal ghar me party hai...yaad hai na aapko..khushi ki fancy dress"ashutosh seemed to remember"oh!yes...sure you can go...right now...no issues..anything for khushi..itni pyaari bachchi hai..actually ranganath tumne aur anji ne bahut hi bada kaam kiya..."ranga smiled"sir ab to khushi humari life hai...n u know sir..father daughter relationship is v special..haan ye baat aur hai ki solanki sahib jaise papa beti ko kabhi bada nahi hone dete..."n both laughed.ranga added"sir plz aayiyega kal..."ashu patted him"positively ranga,nahi to anji maar daalegi mujhe..ek surgery ,hai kal..woh karke 4 baje tak aa jaaoonga..i hope thats fine"??"perfect sir..party will start at 4"after ranganath withdrew,ashu was lost in the thoughtsof his own daughter...would she be slim or plump...will her eyes twinkle like nidhi's??he sighed...the wait to see her seemed v long...he was waiting with all his love...to hld her in his arms...a small version of his nidhi...

As ashutosh sat finishing his work..seeing the goals of thehospital,things were going fine,eye camps were being organised for the poor..n the rural trips for women health were also going on though the target had not been achieved...as ashutosh contemplated new approaches,the door of his cabin opened and nidhi walked in..he got up in shock.."kya baat hai nidhi"??nidhi yawned"kuch nahi...bus mujhebahut neend aa rahi hai...may i sleep here for an hour...abhi lunch hai..."??n before ashutosh could say anything,nidhi almost crashed to the couch..n was almost asleep...pregnancy always made her sleep a lot...maybe she couldnt sleep enough the previous night..as dr ashutosh had made passionate love to her...well past midnight..both wanting more..ashutosh smiled n put cushions around her...as he looked at her...innocence personified...he could fall in love with her over n over again...
Ashutosh went out,closing the door softly ,to get sandwiches,coffee and juice for nidhi,as he returned laden with stuff,nidhi's friends looked at him with wonder n then as he almost bumped into dr dubey,he smiled a shy smile.for once dr dubey did not say anything but just smiled at his student who was learning the lessons of life from a girl half his age..As dr ashutosh came into his cabin,he saw nidhi still sound asleep,her hair falling to the ground,dr ashutosh sat near her n looked at her,in this position the bump seemed more visible,just as he extended his hand to touch it,nidhi's phone rang..it was anji.as a sleepy eyed nidhi blared"haan baba aa jaaoongi.."n then her eyes sparkled"yes khoob maza karenge"..as she saw ashitosh looking at her,his eues narrowing,she got up..."sorry,woh kal party hai na..khushi ki"ashutosh smiled "mujhe pata hai...per zara dhyaan se..samjhi"??nidhi nodded as ashutosh brought the tray of food.nidhi looked greedily at the coffee .ashutosh asked"coffee chahiye"??nidhi shook her head"jee nahi,main dr hoon.i know its not advisable in pregnancy...per dr ashutosh aapko yaad hai woh raat..jab"ashutosh contd, "jab tum jeevan sandhya se patient laaye the...aur surgery ke baad coffee banaayee thi..yehi is cabin me"...nidhi added"jee,aur aapne kaha tha"aapki coffee ka swaad bilkul nahi badla"...aur mai boli thi.."..."tumne kaha thakaash mai bhi coffee hoti to mujhebadalna nahi padta..."yaad hai sab yaad hai..woh raat,woh drive..."ashutosh looked at nidhi, lost in thoughts,he caressed her cheek by the back of his hand"hey doc..bhool jaao woh sab..abto sochne ke liye bahut kuch hai..."nidhi smiled n sipped her juice...It was 2,lunch was over,nidhi got up,adjusted her apron n dupatta n began to move,dr ashutosh looked at her n his eyes seemed to caress her..nidhi smiled n left.
Dr ashutosh had a meeting with dr nagpal.the pther renowned neurosirgeon of lucknow,who wanted to discuss some complicated case with dr ashutosh.nidhi took a detailed round of the children's ward and then sat with the lil girl recuperating from glandular tuberculosis.Her thoughts travelled to her own daughter..what d she be like...will she be like her or dr ashutosh...will she be naughty...or quiet??as nidhi,smiled n pushed her dreams aside,she came out as the duty got over...n she recd. A sms "snapdeal 40%off at raymonds...only till tomorrow 12 noon"nidhi couldnt controll her excitement n ran into dr ashutosh's cabin ,almost jumping with joy"dr ashutosh..raymonds mei sale hai..." !n asdr ashutosh raised his eye brow,she realised he had been in a meeting with dr nagpal...nidhi was embarrassed"i am sorry sir...really sorry"as she began to withdraw,dr nahpal, smiled"dont worry,we r thru...dr ashutosh is all yours"!!and as the men shook hands n dr nagpal left.ashutosh caught n7dhi by ythe arm"itna jump karti ho..meri beti ko chakkar aagaya hoga...baitho chup chaap ,mujhe kaam khatm karne do"a sullen nidhi slumped to the sofa,as drashutosh completed his work,looking up from the file,trying to control his smile.
Finally as he got up, he said"chalo...ab bataao..kahaan sale hai...kahaan halaal hoga mera credit card."!!N an excited nidhi hugged him.

Dr ashutosh n nidhi drove to Raymonds store in hazrat ganj,everyone recognised dr ashutosh there as he always wore raymonds suits,linen in summer n terry wool in winters..they knew his favourite shades,his tastes,he was like their brand ambassador...
Nidhi went to the ties section while ashutosh looked at the suits,as always, his eyes fell on grey suits,he chose a steel grey n a dark blue for himself,then picked a blue blazer for armaan and a black bandgala for baba...nidhi came with 7 ties,"dekhiye,each day a new tie..."and began to show ashutosh,purple,maroon ,beige,pink plain and in stripes...ashutosh smiled ,4 years bck he d not have even looked at these ties,but today it was different,he smiled"sab achchi hain...ek armaan ke liye bhi lelo"nidhi smiled n pulled out a floral blue one that she had already selectedAshutosh handed nidhi hiscredit card while he got the suits packed.nidhi smiled as she recalled how she had blown up money thru ashu's card before anji's wedding n how ashu had fumed,she seemed to shiver at thememory ,even today.Dr ashutosh looked at her,"kya hua,sihar rahi ho"??nidhi smiled"nahi..bas yaad kar rahi thi aapka gussa jab maine 1 lac uda diye the..."ashutosh looked sorry,held nidhi's hand and made her sit in the car..."chalo ab nishu ki aur tumhari shopping"nidhiseemed bewildered "kyun,nishu ki to abhi kitni shopping ki hai bday ke time,aur mera to size abhi hur week badlega.."ashutosh kept his hand v tenderly on her belly,"shhh, mai tumhare liye maternity wear khareedna chahta hoon..."nidhi argued"but why dr ashutosh, nishu ke time ka rakha hai maine...dont waste money"dr ashutosh seemed in no mood to relent"chup raho aur mera kehna mano...ok"??nidhi had no choice.dr ashutosh took her to kids n mum store n picked up 4 new maternity kurtas,new shoes, undergarments,lotion ...nidhi smiled"aapko sab pata hai ab, kya chahiye mujhe"ashu replied"aur kya,second time papa ban raha hoon..i am experienced"then they chose a blue denim dungrees for nishu n also a lovely mobile toy...suddenly ashutosh found nidhi missing,he looked around..in panic to find her...in theinfant section...looking at pink frocks,pink bibs...dolls...ashutosh put his arm around her shoulder..."usse aane to do...sab kuch le aaoonga ek pal mei..."nidhi kept quiet...what was the doubt in dr ashutosh's mind??but she did not want to spoil the moment...
As ashutosh nidhi entered home,nishu ran to greet them,ashutosh hugged him n lifted him up...as nidhi took out his gifts"dekh nishu,papa kya laaye tere liye"n nishu saw the dress ,seemed disinterested but jumped at the toy,learning within no time how to play with it.Then ashutosh gave baba his suit ,the smile on baba's face showed that he loved it..he beamed"bahut badhiya hai...apni poti ke function me pehnoonga.."n then as armaan got the blazer n tie, he hugged ashutosh but added"ashu ye tie to tu kabhi nahi khareed sakta...this has to be nidhi's choice...hai na"n ashutosh nodded...At dinner,ashutosh said"kal khushi ki party hai..mai to surgery ke baad aaoonga around 4 baje...aap sab chale jaaiyega..bus nidhi thoda aaraam se..dont go in overdrive..."nidhi smiledn said"kal dekhiye to..kya kya hota hai..."ashutosh seemed strict"kuch bhi karna...take care ..i hope you are mature enough"baba intervened"ashu,bachchi nahi hai woh.."ashu turned to baba"aaj,jump kar rahi thi mere cabin me...ab kahiye"??both of them looked at nidhi...n she just held her ears n said"sorry..."to which armaan replied"jaao maaf kiya...n dont worry ashu kal main hoon na..i am mature..."

Nishu was just too excited to sleep,even when he finally dozed off,the cell phone was in his hand...Ashutosh turned to nidhi in bed"kal kya programme hai..."nidhi gave a mischievous look"bahut surprises hain...mazaa aayega but dont worry..i shall take care..apni bhi aur iski bhi..."ashu flipped thru the journal he was reading n said"haan,bataana bhool gayaa, monday 7.30 appointment hai subah ka ..sudhir se...a complete check up"nidhi nodded"haan ,ye bhi poochenge kican i go on the rural trips...after all maine hi pehal ki thi, ab mai hi nahi jaaoon..this is not right..."ashu held her hand"jaanta hoon,per let sudhir give a clearance...then we d see...okay"??nidhi kissed his cheek in reply..n he looked at her..."aaj bhi padhne nahi dogi kya..."??nidhi made a face...n just as she was going to say something..ashu spoke"yes i know shaadi mardon ke liye lust laundry aur...kis cheez ka ilaaj hoti hai..bataao"!!nidhi looked away ,faking anger...only to yield when ashutosh hugged her...n pushed her hair to one side to kiss the nape of her neck...n holding her he said"jaan baat maano,aaj so jaao...kal bhi nahi soyee thee...meri bhi surgery hai..morning mei..."nidhi smiled,she knew the responsibilities of a surgeon...ashu hugged her..his hand on her breasts...

At 2.30 after lunch,the next day,nidhi,armaan nishu,baba,maxi n kaka left foranji's home.A lovely stage had been erected in the lawn.with mikes,lighting n all,dinner was being organised,col verma,dadibua,solankis and cs were already there...also khushi with her friends from neighbourhood,..ranganath was taking care of dinner n solanki sahib was taking care of ranganath!!!!shyama aunty was getting the arrangement done,armaan was called by cs as baba,n col verma began to chat...kaka meandered to solanki sahib..as he said"heeramanji,aaj ka dinner superb hoga..sab mera arrangement hai"n dr ranganath gave an exasperated look...nidhi n anji took khushi nishu n all kids inside as anji's neighbours whose kids were participating began to arrive...as nidhi was helping anji in making the kids ready,her eyes were on her watch...waiting for dr ashutosh...hoping against hope that he d not be held back today...and her face lit up in a million watt smile as dr ashutosh entered,with a big teddy n a box of chocolates for khushi...who ran out ,her make up half done"uncle..."ashutosh hugged her n handed over the gifts as she gave him a kiss n said"thanku..."thankfully nishu who was getting his face done up,did not see him...As maxi served snacks outside,the show started with cs announcing"ladiej n gentulmen n daaktars..dekhiye nidhi bibiji aur anji ji ka fancy dress show...i mean bachchon ka show...per mehnat to unki hi hai"everyone clapped but maxi pulled cs,admonishing him for the goof up..
The first child to come was a 5 year old boy dressed as mr bachchan ,he said"kaun banega krorepati..."n all cheered,then came a lil girl dressed as a doctor...she walked the stage n then got down to put the stetho on solanki uncle..."aapka bp high hai...weight kum kariye"n as she returned n the clapping roared,dr ranganath laughe the loudest,hence forth,thete wrre astronauts n cricketeres n children dressed as treesasking for afforestation, then came khushi,in a skirt n top..with miss india sache..n blew kisses around,bowed n said"my next stop...bollywood", finallycame lil nishu, dressed as baby krishna,complete with mayurpankh n flute...as he held the flute,the background voice of nidhi said"karm kar,phal ki iccha mat kar"n then ashu could see her extending her arms as nishu waved his hands n ran into the sanctuary of his mother...
Ashu seemed swelling with joy n pride seeing his son's first performance...baba armaan kakalooked mesmerised...
Cs appeared again "ab..dekhiye...aa rahi hain sridevi"n there was anji..in red ghaghra choli..dancing to "mere haathon me nau nau chooriyaan hain..."as she winked to dr ranganath,he blushed like a bride ..while the viewers enjoyed..suddenly baba said"arre samdhanji kahaan gayee"n the stage saw dadi bua in a yellow sari with four kids singimg"nani teri morni ko more le gaye baaki jo bacha tha kaale chor le gaye"khushi was dressed as morni while poor nishu was one of the chores,as the stanza came"choron ki to khoob khabar li mote thaanedaar ne..."lil nishu began to cry n ashutosh had to get up to bring him down...as maxi took him to get him back ,cleaned n changed...the act was a super success n as dadi bua came down to sit,baba commented"wah samdhanji,maan gaye..."n then came the final act of the evening as cs announced"dekhiye aa rahi hain..kashmir se...dr nidhi"maxi hit him"idiot kashmir ki kali"
Nidhi appeared in a red phiran n salwar,head gear n earrings ,flowers,looking every inch a kashmiri as the song played "kashmir ki kali hoon mai..mujh se na rootho babuji..murjha gayee to phir ma khiloongi..kabhi nahi kabhi nahi..kabhi nahi"as she danced to music,dr ashutosh seemed nervous ...n then angry as she stepped down...seeing him in temper,she wrinkled her nose n held his coat..."tum pyaar pe gussa karte ho..tera gussa humko pyaara hai..yehi adaa to quatil hai,jisne humko maara hai..."n then she ended holding her ears as ashutosh finally smiled ,n put his hand around her waist...
Dinner wasa boisterous affair n as they took leave,anji came n hugged nidhi..."thanks jeejaji n nidhi...i pray..aapke yahaan bhi ek nanhi si bitiya aajaaye..."armaan took the family in crv,while ashutosh drove nidhi n nishu in honda city,they were together...all three of them in this car for the first time...n as nidhi switched the f,m on ,the song seemed to echo her thoughts..
SAU BARAS KI ZINDAGI SE ACHCHE HAIN ,PYAAR KE DO CHAAR DIN
ZINDAGI KI HUR KHUSHI SE ACHCHE HAIN PYAAR KE DO CHAAR DIN...

By the time they reached home,nishu had gone off to sleep,as nidhi tried to get down with him in her lap,dr ashutosh scolded,"kya kar rahi ho,baitho chup chaap"n then he came to the other side, opened the door ,took nishu in his arms andhelped nidhi get down ,putting his arm around her waist..
As he settled nishu ,he could not help reflecting how adorable nishu looked in the fancy dress...ashutosh touched his cheek n bent down to kiss him...the apple of his eye..it was much more beautiful than he had ever expected it to be...bringing up nishu...his smiles,his tears,his activities that were becoming more n more naughty by the day...n the fact that he ran into dr ashutosh's arms, sometimes just hugged his leg n didnt let go...it all touched a deep chord in ashutosh's heart...only a man who had suffered long years of loneliness could understand n appreciate what a loving family meant...as ashu got up ,stroking nishu's forehead as the child turned in his sleep,he had a lingering smile on his lips...Nidhi emerged from the toilet,her hair wet ..she had taken a bath...ashutosh looked at her..as she dried her hair..deliberately sprinkling the spray on ashutosh's face...it did not seem to have the desired affect..finally nidhi sighed seeing ashu settle in his chair to read...she threw her hair brush n came to settle in his lap..a little surprised,ashutosh cosied to her..putting his book away,he put his arms around her waist..n rubbed his nose to hers "kya iraada hai..."??nidhi bit her lip coyly n put her head on his shoulders..."aapko mera dance kaisa laga,..kuch bhi nahi kaha..."ashu snuggled hercloser,caressing her hair he said"sach kahoon...i felt scared...kahi pair fisal jaata...chot lag jati.."n he seemed to close his eyes..even imagining such a scenario...nidhi held his face in her hands...n a mist seemed to descend in her eyes...she whispered"theek hai aapki beti ..ekdum...feel kariye"and she put ashutosh's palm on her abdomen...ashutosh looked serious,"hey nidhi,.you simply cant forget your first pregnancy...back muscles weak hain...just because sudhir says all is well...it doesnt convince me,...we have to be vv careful...main bus tumhe taqleef mei nahi dekh saqta...thats all..."nidhi tried to lighten the tense atmosphere...taking off his spechs,she said"taqleef to aap mujhe dete hain...roz raat ko is medical book se chipak ke baithe rehte hain...aap ne m.b.b.s kar liya, m.d. kar li, d.m. aur f.r.c.s sab kar liya..ab kitna padhenge..."??ashu smiled..looking thru his wife's naughtiness,he replied"nidhi, ek doctor ki padhaai kabhi poori nahi hoti..infact tumhe bhi roz general medicine padhni chahiye...m.d. nahi karogi..raat me dono padha karenge..saath saath"nidhi seemed irritated,.not able to see that her husband was teasing hee...she pouted,putting away dr ashutosh's hand she said"wah!! Kya plan hai...aapko to honeymoon pe bhi kitaabein leke chalna chahiye tha,.."ashutosh bit his lip..trying to control his laughter..."arre nidhi,..yeh idea pehle kyun nahi diya tha..bolo to"??as an exasperated nidhi tried to push dr ashutosh n get up,he caught hold of her..."itni buddhu ho..mazaak bhi nahi samajhti"??and before nidhi could say anything,ashutosh had her firmly in his backhug,pushing her long hair aside he kissed her neck...his fingers running thru her long hair...n then coming to slip in to her pink gown...which was soon a heap at her feet...he took her to the bed n made her sit,...as he sat below...kissing her toes...sucking each of them...n then slowly coming up to caress her cheeks...which were flaming with a heady mix of shyness n desire..ashutosh read them perfectly well...he came up,took his position behind nidhi, n began to massage her back,his lips trailing his fingers...n then as nidhi moaned,he slid his palm on her breasts...he could feel they had grown..n put the other hand on their creation of love...caressing in the tender most possible way,..and then he pulled nidhi into his arms...kissing her full on the lips...his gaze..its intensity making her shudder...he sensed that..n immediately touched her cheek with the back of his hand,raising an eyebrow..nidhi understood..he was concerned about her level of comfort..she smiled n slid her hand to his chest...he had got his answer..as he bit her earlobe...his fingers turning her nipples into taut peaks ..and his hands travelled lower...nidhi could feel a sense of passion...greater than ever before..as she surrendered herself fully n completely to him...her senses couldfeel nothing except the movement of his deft fingers...soft at first but now strong...nidhi seemed to love his strenghth..with which he pressed her core...she could know the feel of each of his finger...different..but making her feel his love...his desire..nidhi kissed ashutosh...opening his mouth with her tongue...as he sought her's and as he realised she was close to a peak...he turned her..though she resisted,..wanting him..as always..but then she knew..he was the boss!!he continued to massage her core from behind..while she could feel his suirging steely manhood...and as she groaned louder n louder,ashutosh entered her...sideways..nidhi quivered...as his fingers continued to play havoc n then he pushed...,harder n deeper...holding her belly most possessively...till she could feel millions of stars...stars of their love inside her...like the supernova...
As nidhi lay,ashutosh looked at her intently...soothing her..till her breathing returned to normal...his concern always was greater than his passion...or so he tried till he made that mistake...he looked at nidhi...the slight swell on her belly..n just prayed that his nidhi should not suffer for that mistake...,hugging her in his arms...her face against his bare chest ,her wet hair all over his torso,they tasted the bliss of sleep...deep sound sleep.

In the morning as nidhi dressed, ashutosh was busy playing with nishu..throwing the ball n nishu trying to hit with the bat..missing each time..till he came to ashu n hugged him...nidhi smiled but then said"dr ashutosh...ab hume nishu ko diapers nahi pehnane chahiye,...i think we need to start his toilet training"ashutosh nodded...as nidhi continued"abhi to mai fit hoon..ek maheene me seekh jaayega...what do you feel"??ashutosh added"theek keh rahi ho..mai bhi utha karoonga raat me..i feel do baar toilet le jaayenge to wet nahi karega..."nishu seemed to know what was being discussed as he dragged the blue baby toilet seat that nidhi had got for him!!!
It was 7 when ashutosh nidhi left for dr sudhir.

As sudhir looked at nidhi,he smiled"you look fine lil girl..but let me do a thorough check up..because ashutosh doesnt look fine"!!!as nidhi n sudhir laughed,dr ashutosh seemed to be in hardstone avataar!!As sudhir turned serious n asked nidhi "tell me nidhi,kaisa feel ho raha hai...any pain or discomfort.."??nidhi answered:"no sir,i am feeling fine..nothing at all except for morning sickness woh bhi ab kum hai.."ashutosh interrupted"soti bahut hai..."sudhir smiled at ashutosh's concern n addressed him"isnt that normal in pregnancy"???ashutosh smiled n bit his tongue.Sudhir called the nurse to take nidhi..and as she got up..she told ashutosh"i am ok, i will manage"ashu smiled..his nidhi was confident n sure of herself this time...he then turned to sudhir,"you know sudhir,i have to say one thing...she has a nightmare...repeatedly...n gets up all scared n shivering...per batati nahi hai exactly kya dekhti hai...ya yaad nahi rehta..she just says...a dark form...but i feel ..its about the baby,she probably feels scared as ...i do.."sudhir turned thoughtful..."it may be some hidden fear...or insecurity in the subconscious...the fear that you d make her abort...let me know if it recurrs"ashutosh nodded as they walked to examine nidhi.As ashutosh stood by her..she seemed so much more relaxed...probably because she knew what it was all going to feel like...after all it was the second time..but dr ashutosh seemed more concerned,more worried than the first time..as he observed nidhi while dr sudhir conducted a detailed examination...

Back in the cabin,sudhir smiled n looked at ashutosh"hardstone nothing to worry at all.she is doing fine ,no complications,the foetus seems to be of normal size..the symptoms are all ok...even her b.p. is fine.The birth canal is healing faster now,due to hormones, but yes we wil start nutragen again,to counter that heriditary weakness of collagen.."he then looked at nidhi,.putting a hand on her head ,he remarked"you n your baby are first class,no worries..."ashutosh asked"can she continue working"??sudhir smiled"yes off course she can,infact she should...it will keep her busy...nahi to ghar me nishu ko bore karegi"!!nidhi nudged ashutosh to ask aboit rural trips, sudhir smiled n said"yes , you can be intimate..no problems..but dont put your full weight on her"nidhi felt embarassed as ashutosh spoke up"thanks, but actually we wanted to know if she can go on day long rural camps near by lucknow..in an ambulance"??sudhir nodded"yes she can...no issues, just make surethat you carry your own water...you are normal..normal pregnant woman..you can work, you can fly, you can cook...but just be careful that you eat well,n do not lift too much of weight...then we will review after a month, ultra sound bhi karenge"as ashutosh n nidhi thanked sudhor n came out, hr called dr ashutosh back,"hardstone let her work...she d feel confident...which is v important..."ashutosh nodded..as he closed the door n they drove to k.g.h.
The health secretary was waiting for dr ashutosh,as nidhi wished "good morning sir"n went to her duty, dr ashutosh sat,inquiring the reason for the visit.The secretary replied"actully dr ashutosh,we r v happy with ur eye camps for the poor,but the naari seaasthya scheme needs a little more effort,we d hate to stop the huge grant that we have set aside foryour hospital"ashutosh nodded in understanding.."i understand, i d have a meeting today..n then renew the efforts with greater vigour..also,even after the target is met, i promise our visits on a monthly basis will continue, we d kind of adopt 3 villages, take care of child birth,family planning , general medicine..."the secy smiled thankfully, but reminded ashutosh again,that he had only two weeks to meet the deadline..
The drs gathered in the community room as dr ashutosh n dr ranganath appeared.everyone was silent.Dr ashutosh began"drs, the hospital n i had promised to the health ministry that we d work to strengthen the women's health programme in villages. I know you ,specially the lady drs are making efforts to spend the day in rural areas n bring the virtue of health to those who dont have access to hospitals..but i am afraid the efforts are not good enough."the drs had their eyes lowered...as dr ashutosh contd."mai jaanta hoon,aap sab ke aur commitments hain..but let me repeat, hum jab mbbs complete karte hain tab yeh shapath lete hain ki hum logo ki swea karenge, yaad rahe ek dr ke liye, uski niji zindagi, uska parivaar , uska apna sukh chaiin kuch maane nahi rakhta, mane rakhta hai to sirf yeh ki woh zyaada se zyaada logon ki jaan bacha sakee,beemari taqleef door kar sake..wahi sachcha dr hai..aur mujhe aur kgh ko aise hi drs ki zuroorat hai..."As ashutosh ended, dr ranganath announced"first the volunteers can come n meet me n then i d make the duty chart..."

In the afternoon ,dr ranganath brought the duty chart"sir..plz'"even before he looked at the chart, he knew nidhi must have volunteered n yes he was right,nidhi had her duty the very next day..dr ranganath saw the concern in ashutosh's eyes..."sir, dr nidhi was v insistent, agar aap kahein to unko nahi deta hoon ye duty..."ashutosh was in a dilemma, as a dr and a boss he was convinced that nidhi must go, sudhir had also given a green signal n as a dr ashutosh knew that pregnancy was nt a disease ...yet as a husband, he wnted his preggy wife to be in the lap of comfort n security..."sir..may i change,.."dr ranganath repeated the question"no,dr ranganath , let her go..i am sure she will be fine..she is going to choubey pur,its not v far..just put in a word to the driver to be careful n send laxmi bai..."ranga nodded n then discussed the remaining trips to be done by dr jyothika, priyanka n megha.the last trip d be to haripur ten days from now, by dr megha..ashutosh nodded n signed..as ranganath withdrew..

In the evening as nidhi was arranging ashtosh's wardrobe, admiring the new suit..n touching the ties...fondly..while ashutosh was helping nishu to play with plastersiene, nishu was all attentive, raising an eyebrow exactly like ashutosh as he marvelled at the wonders , ashu was making ball n apple for him..n telling him not to put it in the mouth...nishu loved the bird that ashutosh made ...n ran out to show baba"birdie...baba..birdie"ashutosh remained lost...thinking of his unborn child...their daughter...somehow he was sure it d be a daughter...what d she belike...tall like him..or short like nidhi...will she be quiet or talkative...will she smile like nidhi...n ashutosh just closed his eyes for a moment ..imagining a bubly talkative lil girl in two pony tails, tugging at him."...dr ashutosh...kahaan kho gaye"??right now it was her mother...nidhi..bubly, smiling n energetic...ashutosh smiled as he looked at nidhi's quesrioning eyes..n then slid his hand into her gown , caressing the baby bump..."iske baare me soch raha tha..."nidhi sat, close to him, putting her own hand on his ..feeling the protectiveness of his touch n the softness of his eyes...ashutosh murmured"soch raha tha..woh bilkul tumhare jaisi hogi...shokh, chanchal...khoobsoorat...aur..aur..."nidhi touched his face"aur kya"??ashutosh smiled n said"aur tumhari tarah raat mein uth kar noodles khaane waali...mujhe to bus ek choti nidhi..baby nidhi chahiye...i cant seem to wait..."nidhi laughed"wait to karna padega...aap to itna darr rahe the..ab sapne bhi bunne lage"??ashutosh continued to caress her but gulped.."nidhi,darta abhi bhi hoon...per tumhari aankhon ke sapne mere dil me palte hain...meri ragon me daudte hain...meri saanson me baste hain..."nidhi...came closer...was about to brush her lips on to his...when the cell rang,ashutosh talked briefly, n then turned to nidhi.."kal ke trip ke liye, sab ttaiyyari kar di hai,wahaan tumhare liye clean toilet ,a comfortable bed..sub kuch...khaana to pack karwa doonga"nidhi shook her head n laughed"bed...??wahaan mai kaam karne jaa rahi hoon, sone nahi..samjhe..aur aapne bata diya wahaan bhi..that i am..."ashutosh looked away"sirf jo health worker hai, usse pata hai..aur chupaan ki kya baat hai..n yes mujhe chinta rahegi tumhaari..jab tak aa nahi jaati, hur 20 mins me sms karna...nahi to..."nidhi raised her eyebrow..."nahi to kya..."??"nahi to sab surgeries chod ke aa jaaoonga...tumhare paas" nidhi hit her forehead with her hand n exclaimed a line which was normally ashutosh's "hey bhagwaan!!dr ashutosh...mai aapka kya karoon"??ashutosh looked at her..with a depth of emotion that made her..look at him...without a blink...ashutosh spoke in his calm voice, trying to conceal the quiver due to emotions"mai nahi jaanta nidhi...par bas..meri duniya..mera ghar..aise hi aabaad rakho...thats all..."

As nidhi slept peacefully, ashutosh kept gazing at her, worried tense apprehensive, how would the rural trip be...will nidhi be able to bear the strain...what about the baby...??ashutosh wished he could accompany nidhi..just as dr priyanka's husband accompanied her...but then he had his surgeries, his meetings...owning kgh was a huge responsibility..but he gulped as he looked at his nidhi..she knew he loved her deeply but did she know he felt guilty of not being able to spend enough time with her..not be with her when she must have wanted him..not even on their first night...and many nights when he thought mallika needed to be looked after...ashutosh recalled all such moments, when nidhi d be waiting for himwhile he d be busy in surgeries or meetings..yet she hardly ever complained...Ashutosh had promised her that they d go on every anniversary to the wild life samctuary...three anniversaries had gone by..they had never been able to go...he promised himself that as soon as nidhi recovered after the baby's birth, they d go...nidhi turned...n murmured "dr ashuto..."ashutosh smiled...n moved closer, enveloping her in a bear hug , he finally slept.

In the morning when nidhi got up, ashutosh was in an overdrive.he was getting sandwiches, aaloo parathe packed, juoice tetrapacks were ready, then water n also a bottle of pepsi which he normally did not want nidhi to drink. There was a bag of a salwar kurta, undergarments, hankeys,tissues, sick bags n medicines.
Nidhi laughed"aap kya kar rahe hain??mai south pole nahi choubey pur jaa rahi hoon,40 km away..aa jaaoongi shaam tak...aur sab hunsenge nahi..mera itna saamaan dekh kar??"dr ashutosh was not amused, he retorted"tum bhool rahi ho ki shaayad tum pregnant ho...n u need to be looked after..."nidhi smiled"itni chinta mat keejiye , kuch bhi nahi hoga mujhe...aur hoga bhi to...abhi to aap kaafi hot n handsome hain..ek aur titli dhoond leejiyega"nidhi had joked...but she saw ashutosh's jaw tighten ..his eyes seemed to turn into burning coals as he came n held her arm , almost hurting her...n said in a deep n serious tone"main tumhaari bakwaas nahi sun sakta...samjhi...tum mere liye kya ho, yeh tum jaanti ho..so stop being funny..aur agar tumh kuch bhi hua to...main...nahi zinda..."nidhi did not let him speak the complete sentence as she pulled him to taste her open lips...which he did..crushing her in his embrace..nidhi could feel his fears..his agony..his love..

In the hospital, dr ashutosh saw that everything was loaded in the ambulance and as nidhi came carrying her stetho, followed by luxmi bai carrying the other instruments, ashutosh opened the door for her n held her as she boarded, then told the driver "aaraam se chalaana..aur luxmi bai plz dhyaan rakhiyega"n then he loked at nidhi..as she waved to him..heheld out his cell..signalling her to sms..regularly...the ambulance drove off ...as dr ashutosh returned to his work..

As nidhi arrived at the health centre at choubey pur,she was greeted by the sarpanch n health worker, n proceeded to check the waiting patients,delivery after delivery, then check ups, counselling..but nidhi did not forget to sms dr ashutosh every half an hour...till a child crying n wailing was brought in, it was a four year old boy who had fallen off the motorcycl of his father n sustained multiple injuries , as nidhi cleaned n stiched the wounds, trying to soothe the child all the while ..she did not rather could not sms dr ashutosh...finally as she was thru with the job n washed her hands...she found 40 sms from her husband..she could not help smiling..n smsed back"doc at work, plz do not disturb". The patients were over at 4 .30 n then nidhi sat to have her lunch..sharing it with luxmi bai..who smiled n said"sir ko bahut chinta hai aapki,..."nidhi nodded n said"sab khaana unhone hi pack kiya hai.."After lunch , nidhi told the health worker to call the other expectant mothers on the next friday when dr would come...n also inquired if there was any thing that was needed.As the sarpanch came to thank dr nidhi n folded his hands"daktarni ji, aap humare gaon ke liye bhagwaan se zyaada ho..agar is gaon me pehle bhi aap jaise daaktar aate to kitni bahuon ki jaan bach jaati...humaare yahaan to bachcha hona, aurat ka doosra janam hi hota hai..."nidhi had tears in her eyes thinking of the lives that could be saved during delivery simply by sanitation n efficient drs.As nidhi got into the ambulance, she felt tired..sorely tired..she messaged dr ashutosh"work over, returning"...she had the smile of a satisfied dr...one who had done her job well...

At kgh, dr ashutosh emerged afyer his last surgery, it was 5 pm n he saw nidhi's message..she d be back in an hour...he phoned home n instructed maxi to organise snacks, n clean the room...nidhi d need rest..he had no work now..n nervous tension seemed to be eating him up...as he paced up n down the corridoor, all drs n nurses knew it was not the chief trustee or the great neurosurgeon but..a loving n doting husband...an expectant father..who was waiting for his wife , the expectant mother of his child...His cell rang, it was baba"beta , nidhi aai waapas.."ashutosh answered 'nahi baba, wait kar raha hoon , usse leke hi aaoonga..nishu theek hai na"??baba smiled n pacified ashu"nishu ekdum theek hai, masti se jhel raha hai mere aur samdhanji ke saath..dopaher me aaye thi woh ,ab jaane waali hain...dont worry,"ashutosh smiled at how his n nidhi's family were always there gor the two of them...he remembered the scene when he had come back from certain death in the air crash,..how everyone had rallied around nidhi..n nidhi..nidhi how she had refused to give up hope...ashu could never forget the way nidhi had held on to him,..breaking down in front of every one...but now ..whatever happened , in this pregnancy he will not leave nidhi, not even for a single night...just as dr ashutosh smiled at his resolve, the ambulance entered kgh...

Dr ashutosh opened the door n helped nidhi out, whie the staff took care of the rest of the things, he wanted to take nidhi home straight away but she said"dr ashutosh, plz i want to go to the toilet.."n as she walked into his cabin to use his toilet, he waited outside..n as soon as she emerged, he held her hands"kya hua??theek ho na..."??nidhi laughed,"chill , dr ashutosh..cant i use the toilet??kuch nahi hua hai..i am fine n she too..chaliye ab...i want to rest"and ashutosh took her purse ..as they walked:"kya kar rahe hain..kya sochega staff..ki aap mera purse utha rahe hain...come on..."ashutosh wasin no mood to listen"chup raho nahi to tumhe bhi utha loonga...n i care a damn about anyone"
As they entered home, nishu ran n cried"papa...mamma"n as maxi called him "nishu ,papa mamma ko fresh ho lene do.."he ran back to play..ashutosh nidhi smiling at his understanding..most endearingly...how nishu had changed their world..

Ashutosh took out nidhi's nightie n gown as she slumped to the bed"chalo, paani taiyyar..hai, have a good bath..u will feel better..nishu waot kar raha hai"nidhi yawned n undressed to step into the toilet n dip her self in the wonderfully relaxing bath tub, as dr ashutosh had a shower..in the cubicle, n as he emerged to dry himself , n wraed atowel around his waist..nidhi smiled...she just adored his understanding ways...he raised an eyebrow"ho gayaa"??nidhi nodded n so he lifted her up, holding her as she stepped out...n then rubbed her long hair dry, as she slipped into her nightie n put the gown, he looked at her feet, swollen but only slightly so,as they emerged into the drawing room nishu ran ..knowing his parents d hold him now, as ashu held nishu, nidhi sat on the sofa,..ashutosh said'nidhi pair upar karo, sweling kum ho jaayegi"as a sleepy nidhi nodded, n maxi entered with hot adrak wali chai n poha..nidhi seemed to be starving as maxi handed her the plate,baba looked affectionately n encouraged "theek se kha beta...kuch aur banwa doin??ashu tu bhi le beta"as nidhi seemed rejuvenated after the snack, she took nishu in her lap, kissing his brow she asked, nishu "nishu..kya khaaya aaj..bataao ..baba ko trouble to nahi kiya..."?baba laughed"aaj to bade maze ka din tha, teri dadi bua aayeen thi, naaraaz hain colonel se..muje judge banana chahti hain"nidhi laughed"to kya kaha aapne baba.."??baba smiled"arre beta kehna kya tha, samdhanji ka gussa thanda kar diya, yaad dila ke ki nidhi ka..matlab tera bday aane waala hai..uski taiyyari me meri madad karein.."ashutosh came in"yeh aapne achcha kiya baba, nidhi ka bday yahaan uske apne ghar me hoga...kyun nishu mamma ka bday manaayega na..bol"??nidhi frowned"kya baba..mera bday kaun si badi cheez hai.."baba patted her affectionately n said"tera bday to sabse zuroori hai..tujh se hi to yeh makaan ghar bana..."n he hugged nidhi as nishu jumped around"budday..budday"!!

After dinner nishu was playing with nidhi as ashutosh was reading some files...just then his cell rang n he went out to talk, as nishu n nidhi were at their boisterous best..nidhi hugged nishu n tried to play finger game, folding each of his finger n saying"yeh nishu ke baba ka, yeh armaan chacha ka, yeh nishu ke papa ka, yeh mamma ka..aur yeh choti ungli..nishu ki choti si baby sister ki..."n as she tickled him , he laughed loudly...and nidhi's eyes n her hopes seemed to dance with him...

Dr ashutosh re entered the room, saying"thanks sudhir..bye"nidhi looked up as she came after settling nishu, "kya baat hai, dr sudhir se kya baat kar rahe the..."?ashu didnt reply, looked at her n then said, "zuroori kaam yaad aaya, baba ke paas se aa raha hoon..ok, "?nidhi nodded..a bit concerned n worried.Dr ashutosh entered baba's room after knocking at armaan's .armaan also joined in"kya baat hui ashu, nidhi theek hai na"??ashutosh spoke"jee baba, nidhi theek hai...actually baba, abhi abhi phone aaya, mujhe dr bidhan chandra roy medal for being declared dr of the year mil raha hai...at the international conference of surgeons at delhi.."baba n armaan seemed to jump with joy as armaan hugged him n baba's face shone with pride...but he saw the worry in ashu's eyes, he raised his eyebrow to ask what the matter was,ashu answered"baba the problem is that mujhe do din ke liye delhi jaana hoga..n as aap log jaante hain..mere delhi trips...humesha nidhi ko tabaah kar dete hain..yaad hai pichli baar"??arman nodded recalling the look on nidhi's face when he had given her the news of...he shuddered, baba asked"to kya socha hai beta"??ashutosh contemplated"baba, main nidhi ko saath le jaana chahta hoon...dr sudhir ne allow kar diya hai,parson subah jaa ke agle din raat ko lautna hai..."armaan smiled"to problem kya hai meri jaan"??ashu answered"nishu...nishu ko le nahi jaa sakte conference mein...aur yahaan kaise rahega...woh"??baba laughed"what do u mean 'kaise rahega'?arre apne baba aur chacha ke saath rahega, aur kya,tu uski chinta chod de..khoob masti se rahega..khelega, aur ek din uske nana ko bula lenge..aur samdhanji ko bhi..tum dono jaao"ashutosh seemed relaxed.."thanks baba..thanx armaan..actually is haalat me mai nidhi ko akele chodna nahi chahta..."armaan held ashu n said"pehli baar actually doosri baar tu kuch sensible baat kar raha hai.."ashu frowned "pehli baar..kab"??"arre meri jaan jab nidhi se shaadi kerne ka faisla kiya tha tab..."n all three laughed ...
Ashutosh returned to the bedroom happy n relaxed to share the news with nidhi..but as he entered , he saw nidhi fast sitting against the pillows , fast asleep...she must have slept waiting for him...ashu came close...kissed her on the forehead n slid his hand to her bacj, making her lie down comfortably as she mumbled like a child...he smiled n patted her, then massaged her back...finally sleeping , his hand caressing her baby bump.Nidhi woke early in the morning , trying to recall the events of the previous night..just as ashutosh walked in, looking handsome as ever in his kurta pyjama...kal raat kya baat thi"??ashutosh smiled n gave nishi the tea cup from which he had been sipping,"nidhi...you know i have been conferred woth dr of the year award..n international neuro conference mei keynote address bhi dena hai mujhe"...nidhi seemed delighted as she hugged him.."wow...aap to hain hi mere hero"but then seemed serious"lekin award lene kahaan jaana hoga,..kab air conference"??"nidhi nidhi nidhi suno to..award conference me hi milega, president of india is going to inaugurate the conference, wahi denge award...delhi me..kal jaana hai..2 din ki conference hai, parson waapas..back home"nidhi's thoughts went back to ashutosh's previous trips to delhi..his brush with death...she shivered as tears came into her eyes though she tried to fihght them back..."hey doc, ro kyun rahi ho..khush nahi ho ..."asked ashutosh holding her chin..as she closed her eyes..."nahi aisa nahi..bus aap delhi jaate hain to darr sa lagta hai...mai aapke bina nahi jee sakti dr ashutosh...ek pal bhi nahi"n she hugged ashutosh tightly, sobbing n trembling ...as ashutosh tried to calm her..rubbing her back..n then pushing her a little away, he put his hand on her growing bump"shhh, itna roogi to baby bhi dukhi ho jaayegi...chup ek dum chup...'"nidhi wiped her tears n asked "kab jaana hai aapko"??ashutosh smiled"sirf mujhe hi nahi tumhe bhi jaana hai...akhi dr of the year ki wofe ho..tumhaare bina kaise accept ker sakta hoon award..bolo..aur waise bhi..is baar ek raat ke liye bhi akela nahi rehne doonga tumhe...yaad hai pichle delhi trip me tumne kitni taqleef uthaai thi...tum saath chalogi mere...kal 8.40 ki fl7ght hai subah me aur parson raat 11 baje aajaayeng waapas...aaj pack karna hai..mujhe aona key note lecture bhi prepare karna hai.."nidhi looked at him n asked"lekin nishu..woh kahaan .."ashutosh held her face in his hands n said"wahi to baat karne gayaa tha raat , baba aur armaan rakh lenge usse, ek raat ki hi to baat hai..reh jaayega..dont worry"nidhi bit her lip...she was delighted at the thought of seeing dr ashutosh get the top honour n yet it was breaking her heart to leave nishu behind...without any of his parent...what if there was a...if neither of the parent survived...if nishu became an orphan like dr ashutosh...nidhi shook her head,.,trying to push the negative thoughts away...but she still felt bad at having to leave nishu,.,she got up..n looked at him, sleeping on his bed..n then at dr ashutosh getting ready for the hospital...nidhi felt torn between the two..husband n son...one her universe n the other the colour n light of that universe...how could she live without either..even for a day...nidhi couldnt stop her tears..why was being a woman so difficult...she thought...