AshNi Bas AshNi..Story So Far..NO COMMENTS PLEASE - Page 12

Dr ashutosh opened his eyes...it was 6.30 g.m.t.and he seemed quite fresh..though it was only his second day in london he seemed free of the jetlag..he got up and pulled the curtain away..it was a misty day...at london..the typical british weather...and he had always loved it..he looked at the thermometer that was outside..it was _4degree celsius!!he yawned ..wanting to talk to nidhi..but he knew she d be busy at kgh..he d wait till her lunch..it was just about 7 hrs back that he had skyped..n talked to the entire family, nishu being most enthralled...he could hardly talk..or even look long enough at nidhi...There was a ring, and as dr ashutosh said"come in".mrs hudson entered with the tea tray.."morning doc"!!"morning mrs hudson..how r u"??"i am fine sir, your tean paper..breakfast will be ready at 8.30 sharp,would you like it in the room..."??"no, i d come to the dining room.."!!mrs hudson was the housekeeper of his suite of a living room, study, dining area and a changing room connected to the wash room,she was a lady of about 60, perfectionist, reseved..ntypically british!!the valet dr ashutosh had been given was zafar ahmed, originally an indian,but his parents had migrated to england when he was only5 years,yet he could manage a fair amount of hindi and knew all about hindi movies and actors..much to the amusement of ashutosh...Zafar was well informed about ashutosh's routine and professional appointments at the college,his lectures d start in two days, from 1 of january..so zafar , a man of about 32 had been prodding him if he d like to have a new year eve party, to which dr ashutosh had politely declined..he would just go thru his notes..n prepare for the next day...a day when he would teach the best sirgery students..a day when he would re enter his college after about 20 years..a day when he d miss nidhi more than ever...
As ashutosh came out of the shower, he bit his lip...he had forgotten to take his clothes n put them in the dressing room...as he rummaged thru the suits, he pulled out the blue one ..and a sky blue shirt...as he dressed his eyes had the image of nidhi bending over the bed..keeping his clothes...he sighed as he tightened his tie...and then took baba's photo n kept it on the study table..his inspiration..his guiding star..forever...n then he took the pic of nidhi n nishu n placed it on the bedside...his thumb caressing those two faces that had lit up his world...Ashu wore his shoes...ready to walk the london streets once again...
As he sat for breakfast, eggs, bread n butter, with veg cutlets, mrs hudson came to butter his toast..ashutosh smiled n took it"thanx mrs hudson but i wouldnt apply anything to my toast.."mrs hudson frowned..as ashutosh made an armaan type sandwich of toast n cutlet...n sipped his tea!!zafar arrived" morning sir...plan today"??ashutosh looked up from the newspaper n replied"well...id just look around for a waterproof overcoat...n a hat..london accessories"!!! Zafar laughed "oh yes!! I can take you to the piccadilly circus..."ashutosh smiled'dont worry zafar, i have spent years in london..i d mange..yes in the evening, just call and find ..if i need anything..you are free for the day"!!
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Nidhi had finished her opd and was sitting in the canteen...unable to decide what to eat..when her phone rang, she smiled as it was dr ashutosh.."hullo..kaise hain aap??naashta kiya??kapde mil gaye na sab??chashma saaf hai na??"ashutosh laughed at her expected barrage of questions..."nidhi nidhi...meri baat to suno...theek hoon mai..koi problem nahi..everything is taken care of..yeh bataao tum kaisi ho...khana khaaya"??nidhi ran her fingers thru her hair n said"jee bus soch rahi thi..."ashutosh added"theek se khaao plz...aur haan..kal 31 dec ka kya plan hai...where is the party"?? Nidhi closed her eyes for amoment n then as ashutosh repeated..she said"dekhte hain..shaayad baba ke ghar jaayein..kuch socha nahi..."dr ashutosh took in a deep breath...n said"friends ke saath baahar jaane ka mann hai??disco.."??nidhi laughed"nahi...nishu ke saath rehne ka mann hai..jaayenge kahi bhi to baba..armaanji..kaka maxi sab jaayenge...aur waisebhi disco ka mazaa to aapke saath hi aata hai..."ashutosh smiled broadly.."meri legpulling ker rahi ho kya"??n nidhi replied.."jee nahi..bus us disco nite ko yaad ker rahi thi...achcha ab rakhti hoon..ward me jaana hai...raat ko skype karenge...matlab aapki raat..meri subah..." ashutosh reflected as he said..."haan nidhi..humaare din raat alag jo ho gaye..."nidhi frowned.."ab london aur lucknow me time difference to ho ga hi..geography nahi padhi kya aapne...aur wahichaand jo aapki khidki se jhaankta hai...mere kamre me chaandni bikher jaata hai...ab bye..dr dubey aa rahe hain"!!!as ashutosh disconnected, his face was transfigured with the memories of the new years eve...the disco nite before their wedding,..after which he had got so upset...he mused..wondering if he d be more confident if they went again...??after all nidhi must be wanting to dance like her batch mates...but she did not seem to express even if the desire was there...Ashutosh got up..n walked outside..as the cold blizzard like wind hit him...and he went humming the old favourite..THANDI HAWWAYEIN.LEHRA KE AAYEIN...HUM HAIN YAHAAN..TUM HO KAHAAN..KAISE BULAAYEIN...
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As ashutosh walked back to his apartment in the college premises,pulling his new grey overcoat closer..his gaze fell on a store of candies..beautiful wrapped candies in santa shaped boxes...he walked in...emerging a lil later with two big boxes...he d show them to nishu on skype tonite...the drizzle had started again..and as ashutosh entered the college premises...the stone facade reminded him ..somehow of his own self..how cold ..dark..almost sinister he had been..in his lonely years...and today..he smiled as he saw the scarlet curtains of his apartment...his life had hues of joy..of union..of togetherness n of parenthood...
Dr ashutosh changed n sat for dinner..veg corn soup, followed by spinach troffle n cheese toast..ashu did not mind it...but yes the taste of nidhi's hare chane lingered in his mouth...n more than that..the warmth of nidhi giving him hot paranthas n nishu..his nishu opening his mouth to be fedby his papa...dr ashutosh smiled...as he looked at his cell...there was a message"SOCHIYE NAHI..KHAAIYE...:):):)" n he smiled as he bit into the toast...
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Nidhi woke up before her alarm buzzed,4.30 a.m...it must be 11 pm in england,she tried skype ...dr ashutosh came..he enabled the mic n settled with his i pad on his bed...as nidhi sat in their bed..."neend nahi aa rahi tumko"??he asked, nidhiresponded"nahi...aapko dekhne ka bahut mann tha...kya plan hai ab"??ashutosh rubbed his hands in his beard as he said"bus...sleeping..aaj kuch zuroori shopping ki..aur haan yeh dekho..nishu ke liye santa candies khareedi..."ashutosh showed the boxes..leaving nidhi speechles"wow!!!!!kitte sunder hain...but i am jealous..mere liye kya liya..."??dr ashutosh frowned"arre ..kya leta...tum aaogi tab khud shop kerna..."and he could see nidhi pouting..'achcha naaraaz nahi ho, bataao kya chahiye...kal hi le loonga..."nidhi replied impishly"mai nahi bataaoongi..aap khud sochiyega..." ashutosh looked at her...savouring her image...she looked thin..."tumne kya kiya aaj hospitall me"?? Nidhi smiled..."jaante hain...aapko miss kiya..aapke cabin me gayi thi...but anyway...bus thode dino ki to baat hai...per haan yeh cheating nahi chalegi ki bete ki liye gift aur biwi ko bhool gaye..not fair..."ashu frowned...but his eyes smiled..."achcha ab so jaao thodi der...aur haan...khayaal rakhna..." nidhi asked..in her typically nidhi way"kiska..khayal"??ashu responde..looking into her eyes"meri biwi ka..."and both logged out...as nidhi put her hand on his pillow...trying to feel his presence...n then slowly drifted into sleep...
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"Beta, colonel ka phone aaya tha, bula raha hai hum sabko aaj raat..anji ranganath bhi honge...kya kehti hai..." nidhi was listening to baba but her mind was full with the images of dr ashutosh...the new years they had shared...as baba put his hand on hers..she awoke to the present..."jee baba..jaisa aap sab chahein..armaanji..aap kahiye" armaan looked at nidhi's face..sensing her loneliness..he added"haan baba zuroor chalenge..nidhi ki dadi bua ki khaatir kaise chod dein...pucca 7.30 ..ab mai jaata hoon...nishu ??so raha hai"??
Nidhi returned to the bedroom, and went into the washroom ..to get ready,as she emerged in her green churidaar kurta..she felt strangely drained...but as she looked at the wedding pic on the side table...a smile came to her face..as she looked at dr ashutosh...and said to herself.."teen din to nikal gaye...".."mammma..."it was nishu calling her...as she cleared the mist from her eyes..n walked to him..hugging him in his nitesuit.."nishu..papa ka phone aya tha...unhone tumhare liye chocos lee hain...ab chalo..sweater pehno..i am going..tum enjoy karna..aur evening mei nana ke yahaan..."nishu pouted"mamma...nanaji bolo.."!!n nidhi smiled...as she picked nishu n he wriggled to run out...
Kgh was work n more work...and a tired nidhi entered the children's ward at 3 p.m.as she moved from one child to another..she recalled the times ,..long ago when dr ashutosh had stopped...to hear the story she was telling the kids...n that was the starting of the raja titli story...n how it had become the story of their life...dr ashutosh...her raja..the emperor who had conquered her life with his love...n his fortress...had the laughter of their son resonating in it..."dr nidhi...dr ranganath bula rahe hain aapko.."it was the nurse..and nidhi hurried to his cabin..."oh dr nidhi...actually aaj chaar drs leave pe hain..kya aap plz night duty kar lengi..."nidhi seemed confused..as ranganath went on.."i know col verma ke yahaan party hai..per you have to come at 11pm.and then next day off..plz dr nidhi..warna dr dubey meri jaan nikaal denge..." nidhi laughed.."dont worry dr ranganath..waise bhi i have no plans...i d surely come...aap to honge wahaan ..so you can shunt me out..."as dr ranganath smiled thankfully, nidhi walked back...n involuntarily her steps took her to dr ashutosh's cabin...she stood looking at his chair..n then came n caressed his chair...n ran her fingers on his books...her eyes scanning the cabin...her heart n mind full of images of the past years...she missed him..terribly so..but in this cabin..she felt him...strangely around her...though miles..thousands of miles separated them...time zones put them apart...n yet their love made nidhi feel that dr ashutosh was around...watching her each moment...his gaze caressing her..she could almost see him raise his eyebrow ...she sat in the chair...facing him...wherever he may be...he would always be around her...the raja and titli were inseparable...whatever be the season...whatever the occassion...their love would always bloom n blossom...nidhi put her head down on the table..his table that had the imprints of his hardwork..his dedication...as she closed her eyes...dr ashutosh emerged in front of her eyes...looking at her n saying "hey doc"!!...a smile came to her face...as she got up...ready for work..and with a lingering look came into the corridoor...and walked towards the ward...making work her worship...just as her dean ..now her husband dr ashutosh had taught her...

Nidhi n nishu arrived at col verma's place for the new year's party..nishu in maroon n blue wollen dungrees with a matching cap but nidhi in her regular purple n white churidar...as she had to go on duty..armaan followed with the rest of the house hold in crv..and as dadibua welcomed them, she commented"alag alag kyun..nidhi ne jhagda kiya kya"??nidhi laughed "arre nahi dadi bua, meri duty hai..alag car me nahi aati to kaise jaati hospital.."dadi bua slapped her forehead"he bhagwaan, mai to dukhi ho gayee teri duty se..yeh bata daaktar kum kamaata hai kya jo tu bhi lagi rehti hai din raat..." baba intervened"samdhanji, nidhi paison ke liye nahi, apne satisfaction ke liye kaam karti hai..sukh milta hai usse mareezon ku sewa karke.."just then dr ranganath khushi n anji arrived, n dadi bua said"ab dekh anji ko..kitne aaraam se rehti hai..ghar pe..aur ek tu hai..duty duty duty...arre iss duty ki wajah se hi to..."dadi bua checked herself as col verma coughed..trying his beat to indicate that she was crossing limits...everyone looked at nidhi...armaan's gaze...of a brother who could probably fathom the unseen pain...but nidhi did not let the facade fail..she smiled n added"achcha mai bhi ghar pe baith jaaoongi..bus dr ashutosh ko waapas aane deejiye"!! N the tension eased...shyama aunty seved soup as everyone talked...baba watched nishu play n talk animatedly with khushi...his old eyes looked at nidhi..looking at them n then heaven wards...will nishu ever get a sibling...god!!he prayed but then smiled at nidhi...he could not..would not burden her with his wishes...she had already given her much more than he had ever expected...nidhi came with a thick shawl n covered baba's shoulders"thand bahut hai baba, dhyaan rakhiye plz" and as she stood , solanki sahib spoke"bhai chalo ek bazi shatranj ki ho jaaye..." n as an excited armaan got up, shyama aunty refused"no way, no chess..aaj dr ashutosh bhi nahi hain..unke bina..." solanki ji added"arre tabhi to..unke saamne to koi jeet nahi sakta..ab unki gair maujoodgi me hi jeetne ka chance hai"!!and as armaan n col verma laid chess, nidhi seemed to miss dr ashutosh deeply...she was brought back by dadi bua's hand on her arm...as baba n solanki uncle played chess..and armaan got up to get some more soup..dadi bua enquired"beta, daaktar phone to kerta hai na..tujhe..kahin aisa to nahi..."n before nidhi could reply, armaan popped in"haan dadi bua..kahin ashu kisi mem ke chakkar me na pad jaaye..kuch bharosa nahi...kyun nidhi"!!and as nidhi laughed her head off, dadi bua seemed worried...when baba looked up from his game n assuaged her"samdhanji..kyu chinta karti hain...mera ashu to toast pe makhan bhi nahi lagata hoga nidhi ke bina"!!anji came n elbowedher friend..."yeh bata jeejaji kitni baar phone karte hain din mei...3 baar"?? Nidhi smiled"nahi phone to 2 baar hi karte hain..per skype karte hain bahut baar"!!!and nidhi moved to get dinner for baba...as she handed him the plate, he smiled"meri bachchi, tu kha le..duty pe jaana hai..." nidhi smiled as she then served nishu who wantd to eat with khushi...finally as she took her plate, she felt famished...these days her eating pattern was crazy..she d hate food at one time n then eat heavily at others...dr ashutosh's absence seemed to be playing havoc on her system...so she thought...

As dr ranganath closed the door of her car n said"thanx dr nidhi , thanx a ton" n col verma n armaan smiled, she waved to nishu n drove off towards kgh...it must be 5 pm in london...what must dr ashutosh be doing...she wondered..her thoughts were entwined in him...just as she herself used to be..each night...she sighed..seeming to count weeks that remained...but then she knew it was a long way off...before they were together again...but she did not have tears...she knew whether london or lucknow..their hearts beat for each other...she turned on the fm..
TUM PAAS AAYE..YUN MUSKURAAYE..
TUMNE NA JAANE KYA SAPNE DIKHAAYE..
AB TO MERA DIL JAAGE NA SOTA HAI..
KYA KAROON HAI KUCH KUCH HOTA HAI..."
Nidhi seemed to blush...at the song at the storm of love that dr ashutosh had stoked in her life...or she in his...how dr hardstone now ate chowmein...n shopped for saris...she smiled as she tried to humm.."kya karoon hai..kuch kuch hota hai"!! She loved the song...n she giggled as she recalled dr ashutosh raising his eyebrow n saying"what a stupid song...mockery of love...kuch kuch hota hai..what nonsense"!! N nidhi had come close to him n teased him"kyun ..galat kya hai..feelings describe hi nahi ho sakti...aur such much...KUCH KUCH hi to hota hai...aapki pasand ke gaane sunke to lagta hai philosophy ka lecture sun rahe hain..."!! N ashutosh had held her close,...their eyes locked ..their emotions bridging all barriers...Nidhi parked her car...in the parking lot of junior drs..she never used the slot meant for him...and as she walked in she hummed"kya karoon hai...kuch kuch hota hai..."!!
Nidhi took the rounds of the wards and gave injections, she was sitting in the children's ward putting a sick child to sleep,when she heard dr dubey ...he was on a surprise round...at this time of the night..."who is the dr on duty??aaj to sabparty ker rahe honge...new geeration ko sewa bhaav kahaan..jaaiye ek cup coffee laaiye mere cabin me...itni sardi hai"!!nidhi smiled as she emerged n took the coffe cup...n knocked at his cabin.."come in" shouteddr dubey...as nidhi entered...he stood up in surprise"tum dr nidhi...lekin tumhari duty to din me thi..." nidhi smiled n explained everything...adding"aap chinta nahi kariye...i will be here till 8 a.m. jab morning duty drs aayenge...sir plz go n rest..." dr dubey did not say anything but asnidhi moved out..he could not help feeling ashamed how mistaken he had been about this girl...he shook his head...as he sipped into coffee...
Nidhi was sitting in the staff room for drs..covering herself with her sweater...wish she had brought a shawl...she recalled the night when dr ashutosh had left his jacket with laxmi bai...for nidhi..that nite when she had been treating kumar...nidhi's phone buzzed...it was dr ashutosh...she took the phone"hi doc...party kaisi hai..khana khaya"??nidhi smiled "haan kha liya..."ashutosh asked"skype kab karenge..." nidhi smiled"aaj possible nahi..i am sorry"!!ashutosh felt a lil disappointed for a moment but then added"kyun..finally disco jaa rahi ho...ya armaan ke sath ...nishu kya kar raha hai"??nidhi had to divulge"actually, mai duty pe hoon...till 8 ...baba ke ghar seaa gayi thi..nishu baba armaanji sab theek hain...party me miss kar rahe the aapko..."ashutosh's voice changed"hey nidhi...new years eve pe duty...naaraaz ho kya"??nidhi answered"nahi to..aapne hi to sikhaya hai..duty first...aur kahin jaane ka mannbhi nahi tha...party se achcha yahaan lag raha hai..." ashutosh could sense she was missing him...he crooned"nidhi...pata hai...aaj maine humaare europe trip ka plan final kiya..tumhe mai ker raha hoon...bookings to abhi kuch din baad karoonga...hey nidhi ...theek ho na tum...".."jee...bus...aapko miss karti hoon...per kaam hai..ghar ..baba..nishu ..bas sab nikal jaayega...aap woery nahi kariye..aap bataaiye aapka kya plan hai..aaj raat ka...friends ya..."??ashutosh smiled"kuch nahi..kal se lectures hain...bus raat me walk pe jaaoonga...i love to walk in snow..tumhare saath mt titlis pe jaane ka intezaar hai..."nidhi wrinkled her nose"achcha..abhi mere patients ko mera intezaar hai..so bye..haan nishu se baat kar leejiyega..." ashutosh crooned'nidhi..ek baat..i am really proud of you..."nidhi laughed "makhan mujhe nahi..toast ko lagana seekhiye...rookhi bread kab tak khaayenge"!!
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Dr ashutosh wore his overcoat and n gloves..as he stepped out into the london streets...decorated for new year...he put his hat ..as he walked to under the elm trees...the icy breeze blew and snow flakes seemed to waft down...settling on ashutosh's overcoat...he looked at couples walking...hand in hand...n he missed nidhi...more than ever..as he came to the bridge on thames...overlooking the big ben...n the west minster...the majestic classy structure that had been the face of london for centuries...he just loved the grace n charm of its facade...it was kingly in true sense of the word...n then his eyes fell on the new ...addition..tthe london eye..taking young enthusiasts..tourists..up and round...he looked down n saw people dancing in the cruise boats,,.how nidhi would love all this...he walked along the briidge...till he could see the steely london eye ..the new face of london rotate against the granite n gold back drop of west minster...n he could not help recounting..."ashutosh aur nidhi...jaise west minster aur london eye,..."he took the steos down to his favourite coffee shop...but instead went to the adjacent mcdonalds and ordered"the spicy indian burger n coffee"as he could see so many kuds of nishu's age biting into their fries...ashu took out his cell...as he flipped thru pics of nishu...n nidhi...he then self clicked one with the burger...how his young intern had affected him...he smiled to himself as he walked back ...to prepare his notes for the class tomorrow,...
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Nidhi took her morning round..as the nurse got tea for her..."nahi radha ..ghar jaa ke..baba se milke peeyoongi aaj chaai...happy new year..." just then nitu came with a card"happy new year madam..." nidhi hugged her and took out the chocolates that she had got for her,..as she kissed nitu n said"may this new year give u the very best" nitu hugged her...and nidhi had tears of joy in her eyes,...
As dr jyothika entered followed by dr megha..jyothika hugged nidhi n said"thank you so so much nidhi,.teri wajah se mai jaa saki party me...thanx yaar kya party thi..kyaboys...muaah"!!!!as nidhi laughed n hugged jyothika, dr megha the sly added"dr nidhi ko kya zuroorat party me jaane ki..she has caught the best fish...after all"!! As jyothika turned to face her..nidhi pulled her away"forget it yaar...ab mai chalti hoon...nishu wait kar raha hoga..."as nidhi went...megha commented"jyothika..tumhe kya lagta hai...dr ashutosh nidhi ko use kar rahe hain...ya woh unko"??? Jyothika caught megha"look here megha...tum nidhi aur sir ke baare me jaanti nahi ho..so just shut up...aisaa pyaar..aisaa rishta bahut rare hota hai...tum nahi samjhogi..."!!
Nidhi entered home as nishu hugged her n cried"appy new year mamma..kal paapa ka phone aaya tha..." baba hugged nidhi as she touched his feet..and armaan got adrak wali chaai...nidhi took a sip..but somehow felt a lil sick...she smiled"naha ke aati hoon...thak gayi hoon..." armaan looked at the tea...yes so incomplete without ashu...nidhi's dr ashutosh...he looked at baba n then both looked at the door of ashu nidhi's bedroom...armaan took nishu's hand n said"jaa beta..,mamma ke saath khel ..she must be missing you"!!
Nidhi emerged from the wash room...freshened up...her hair still wet..she had vomitted..n felt frail..as she sat on the bed..nishu came...n looked at her.."mamma...miss ker rahi ho mujhe"??n nidhi hugged him...getting him over as she heldhim close to her...kissing his hair...and as nishu's tiny hands played with her cheeks...she slowly drifted to sleep...into dreams of dr ashutosh...with their son..the living evidence of their eternal love in her arms...
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"Happy new year sir" greeted mrs hudson as she served breakfast to him..and ashutosh smiled n ate in a hurry..he wanted to reach theclasses asap.Zafar arrived with his routine and together they walked to the magnificent granite facade of royal college of surgeons..the head of the college dr watson was there waiting for dr ashutosh...he shook hands as dr ashutosh said"thanks doctor for bestowing this honour upon me..."the old dr smiled n said"ashutosh its a pleasure to have you back..this time as a professor...i hope you are comfortable.." ashutosh smiled"sir, zafar n mrs hudson are taking good care of me...i d like to start,..i am prepared for my lectures..."dr watson smiled as he guided ashutosh to his lectire hall..as zafar took his laptop i pad n other things to his cabin ...
Dr ashutosh stood in front of his class, 50 students...drs who were doing FRCS...surgeons who might be better than him..in the years to come...there were young men as well as women ..many of asian descent...they introduced themselves...james, kethrine, julia, kay , mahmood , ...n meera..ashutosh smiled and started his first lecture on protecting occipital lobes during cerebral surgery.it was a compicated subject and the students paid complete attention as ashutosh made sketches, talked of his experiences..n then ended to meet after lunch with the presentation he had made...
Dr ashitosh walked to the canteen n took a cup of coffee ..it was 12.30..it must have been 6 in india...what would nidhi be doing...first day of the year...he looked at the cell n messaged SKYPE AT 12 NIGHT GMT...5.30 IST.MISSING YOU.
He smiled..even the thought of nidhi brought warmth to hs face..a softness to his eyes..."hi sir...would you like a sandwich"?? Dr ashutosh looked up..it was meera..with her sandwich...he smiled politely n declined '"no, thanx..i am fine" n before she could ask him permission to sit ..he had got up to leave...The class restarted as zaffar got dr ashutoshs laptop n he showed them slides of surgeries in which occipital lobes were damaged n explained why..then there was the round of questions ..julia n mehmood were most invasive in questioning while meera seemed a lil quiet...dr ashutosh somehow remembered the day when he had given his first lecture to the interns...and that impishly naughty dr nidhi who penetrated his foretress of loneliness...ashutosh shook his head...n thought to himself ...there could be no body like her...no body like his nidhi...
Dr ashutosh handed over the things to zafar and said he d reach his flat after a walk alone...dr ashutosh walked under the elm trees...n then towards the road to westminster abbey...evening was falling..though it was just 4 pm but it was europe...n as the snow flakes flew and kids played around in the park opposite the church...there was a sweat meat seller ..selling ice creams in the freezing evening...as dr ashutosh slipped his gloves...he sighed..seeing his own breath freeze...he walked back...not feeling lonely but experiencing nidhi ..his nidhi all around him...in the youth having ice creams..in the snow flakes...in the enveloping darkness that reminded him of her hair...n finally the london eye..the symbol of novelty..standing tall opposite the eddifice of dignity..westminster..like nidhi n himself ...he looked around ..he was waiting for nidhi to arrive..he would love to see europe with her..thru her joyous eyes...thru her exuberence...thru their love...with their nishu...ashu walked smiling...as he cleared the snow flakes from his overcoat...he hummed an old song that so much reflected his thoughts..his love for nidhi..
TERE JAMAAL SE ROSHAN HAI QUAYNAAT MERI...
TU NA HO TO ZINDAGI ADHOORI HAI..
.RAHE WAFA ME KOI HUMSAFAR ZUROORI HAI..
YEH SAFAR TANHA KATE TO MUSHKIL HAI...
YEH RAASTE YEH HAWA..
HER EK CHEEZ HAI APNI JAGAH
THIKAANE SE
KAI DINO SE SHIKAAYAT NAHI ZAMAANE SE..
TU PAAS HO KE NAHI..PHIR BHI
TU MUKHATIB HAI...
TU ISS TARAH SE MERI ZINDAGI ME SHAAMIL HAI..
JAHAAN BHI JAAOON YEH LAGTA HAI TERI MANZIL HAI...
yes...nidhi was everywhere for him...though he longed to see her..touch her..hold her in his arms...but he could feel her around him...within him...she was after all a part of him...

I had been two weeks since dr ashutosh had begun his lectures.the routine was tough but ashutosh enjoyed his work n without nidhi ..n nishu he was back to his workaholic ways...teaching, demonstrating n then planning for the next day...though nidhi was always there in his mind..or should we say heart...when he took his clothes out from the wardrobe...he missed her..when mrs hudson tried to butter his toast n he took it away smilingly..he missed her...when he walked the corridoors of yhe college with young drs wishing him n then interacting with each other boisterously..he missed her ...when he took his long walks through london..he missed her the most..dresses in shop windows..softy being sold near hyde park..n the sunshine piercing overcast days..it all reminded him of her...he missed her smile...her pout..he missed holding her in his arms..listening to her steady breath during the night...he missed her sprinkling water from her long hair on his face...and yet he felt her around him...within him...nidhi ..nidhi..nidhi...she couldnt be away from him...never..."dr ashutosh" ashutosh seemed surprised as he was walking back with zafar to his apartments...he looked back..it was his student dr meera ..hurrying up to him.."sir.." she smiled at him..."yes meera...what is it"?? Drawled ashutosh as zafar smiled..."sir i know you do not want to come coffee with me...wondr why though..but what if all of us are there...the whole class"?? Dr ashutosh smiled,he had been observing meera trying to getclose to him n he was making every conscious effort to thrawt her efforts...he sighed n shook his head"meera its mmid term , u guys better concentrate on the assignments i am giving you...sorry no coffee meets with me...n now thank you..ineed to go..."!! Meera smiled and said"sir...why are you in such a hurry..do u have a date"?? Ashutosh seemed a lil irritated but the innocent twinkle in meera's eyes calmed him..he relied"meera..its absolutely none of your businesss if i have a date or not..,..n now goodnight..."!! As they walked away, zafar who was now quite comfortable with dr ashutosh commented"sir..coffee would have been welcome..." dr ashutosh looked at him...measuring him he said" zafar,i am sure mrs hudson would serve us some good coffee...if you are interested in her company"!!
Ashutosh was reading new techniques of sucking away sub durral haemorrhage when the land line began to ring, he picked up the phone..and smiled recognising the affectionate voice of dr mallick almost instantly.."so ashutosh ..you are here and i need dr watson to tell me that...yeh to theek baat nahi hai..." ashutosh smiled and answered apologetically "sir i am actually sir...bus soch raha tha iss weekend aane ko...i am really sorry"!! Dr mallick laughed" kiran bahut yaad karti hai tumhe...aao na saturday shaam...sharma, joshi aur mohammed ko bhi bulaate hain"!! Ashutosh nodded"jee sir..surely...zurroor aaoonga"!! As dr ashutosh put the phone down , he looked out at the snow covered strrets of london..he remembered the years when he was in london as a student..the months when he had stayed with the mallicks...the train of thoughts took him to the years in england with mallika...the times when they had discovered london n its suburbs together...mallika at that time had seemed to be the only constant in his life...but then...ashutosh gave a wry smile as he sipped into the coffee that mrs hudson had made, mallika...what a serpant she had been...ashutosh could never forget or forgive himself ..for having wronged nidhi n having believed mallika...how could he have ever done that??...ashutosh's thoughts were broken by the ring on his cell...it was nidhi..he looked at his watch..it must have been well past midnight in india,..what was wrong..he took the call..."hullo nidhi...kya hua .sab theek "??there was a gap n then nidhi spoke"jee bus aise hi..neend nahi aa rahi thi..aapse baat karne ka mann tha...kaise hain aap"?? Ashutosh could sense nidhi was low n lonely...he gulped and spoke"theek hoon..but tum low sound ker rahi ho...kya baat hai..tabiyat theek hai na'"??"jee i am fine...nishu ka school khul gaya hai..busy rehta hai...bus ..apki ...yaad aati hai...i miss you dr ashutosh " nidhi almost choked...dr ashutosh extended his hand as if to wipe her tears...but then clenched his fingers...realising the immense geographical distance...he gasped"nidhi..kya baat hai...maine kaha tha na mai in aankhon mei aansoo nahi..." nidhicompleted "jaanti hoo ..aap aansoo nahi dekh sakte meri aankhon mei...per kai baar bina kisi baat ke hi aankhein bhar aati hain...chodiye kuch aur baat karte hain...aapke lectures jaise ho rahe hain"??ashutosh looked around...n answered"fine...aaj dr mallick se bhi baat hui..iss weekend jaaoonga wahaan...nidhi..ek baat kahoon..."??"jee..kahiye"??"nidhi mai waapas aa sakta hoon..i am just a flight away..jab chahogi aa jaaoonaga...tumse important nahi hai yeh lecture..."nidhi stopped him"plz dr ashutosh...mai chahti hoon aap apna dessertation complete karein...honorary doctrate mile aapko...its such an honour...aur phir hum bhi to aa rahe hain ...aapka credit card halaal karne,..abto kuch weeks hi bache hain...19 din nikal gaye..."she has been counting days...thought a distraught ashu..."nidhi..nishu ki party zuroor karna...mai gift courier kar raha hoon uske liye.."nidhi nodded n then said"chaliye...ab aap dinner khaiye..mai sone ki koshish karti hoon...bye" ashutosh kept the cell ..imagining nidhi sleeping alone on their large bed...her hand searching for him on his pillow...
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Nidhi was feeding nishu , hurrying his breakfast as she was getting ready for school, when suddenly she felt extremely cold and shivered...baba looked up"kya hua beta"?? Nidhi clutched her sweater tighter..."kuch nahi baba...thand lag rahi hai..."as maxi got her tea...the spasm seemed to have passed over...she looked at baba"i m fine baba...aap chinta nahi kariye..."baba raised his eyebrow..."nidhi pichle ek week se tu kha nahi rahi hai ,..theek nahi hai tu..is it something..."??the conversation was interrupted by a phone, nidhi took the call"yes...howwwee??kaise hain ab??i will call dr nagpal immiediately...i m rushing" baba looked at her questioningly..."baba, dr dubey has fainted ...dr gandhi is suspecting a stroke..i have to rush..aap plz armaanji ke sath nishu ko school le jaaiyega..olz baba..aur aaj pick ..."armaan had emerged, putting the buttons of his shirt..."tu chinta na kar nidhi..hum le aayenge isse..tu jaa" nidhi kissed nishu n rushedout...kaka after her"arre juice to peeti ja..."but she was gone.from the car she contacted dr nagpal n apprised him of the situation..he said hed arrive immiediately.when nidhi reached the hoital, dr dubey was in icu, completely unconscious..he had come early to the hospital...being a widower without children he often had breakfast in the canteen, it was there that he had collapsed..nidhi rushed in...examined his pupils...trying to bring to mind all that she had seen drashutosh do...she could guess it was a stroke caused by a stroke..n probably an an injection of a blood thinner should be given...she looked at her watch...dr nagpal had still not rrived..she looked at dr gandhi...a general surgeon..he seemed to agree to her diagnosis..nidhi decided to take the plunge ..n injected dr dubey...
Dr nagpal walked in quickly...as he examined dr dubey still limp n lifeless,he examined his pupils and asked.."has any other neurosurgeon seen him"??dr gandhi replied"no...but dr nidhi has administered a thinner...it seems a stroke..." dr nagpal looked at nidhi...standing a lil away..apprehensive..n nervous..."mrs ashutosh..you have probably saved dr dubey's life...the clot seems to be dissolving..lets take him for mri...but it does seem ur gut feeling was absolutely right..." nidhi looked down...a lil embarassed n then as the wardboys came, she led dr dubey be wheeled into the mri room...as drnagpal did the mri..nidhi, dr ranganath , dr aditi all were outside...waiting,, finally dr nagpal emerged..."well the clot is now very tiny and it has parked itself...mrs ashutosh..u certainly saved the day..bit its yet to be seen as to howmuch damage has been caused...but hed need to be in the icu for a few more days...where is his family...has he any??" Dr nagpal seemed pretty impersonal...nidhi came forward.."sir i dont think he has any immediate family..at least not in lucknow...but as he values dr ashutosh so much..i am here to look after him...dont worry..you just instruct me...'" drnagpal came close to a smile...but held it back...he wrote a list ofmedicines n gave nidhi..."get these n meet me in icu..." nidhi nodded as dr ranganath got dr dubey shifted back to icu.
"Mrs ashutosh, dr dubey will rather should regain consciousness in another 6 hrs or so...only then can we estimate the actual damage..though i presume only the motor side has been affected n that too marginally..but lets wait n watch...i have an urgent surgery lined up..keep me informed ..idcome as soon as he regains consciousness...take care..n dont try anything overzealous...guesses humesha sahi nahi hote..mrs ashutosh"nidhi bit her lip...shuddering at the thought if her diagnosis n first aid had been wrong...she took a quick round of the wards n then dialled baba , apprising him of the developments , she asked if he knew of dr dubey's family...baba told that there was a younger sister..probably in u.s.a.but he was not sure..nidhi told she was here to look after him...n baba answered"jeeti reh meri bachchi...jeeti reh...this is being a true doctor..."
Nidhi kept a strict vigil and it was at 3.30 in the afternoin that dr dubey regaind consciousness.nidhi phoned dr nagpal..n went in..dr dubey opened his eyes weakly...looking around...he saw only nidhi ..."dr nidhi..." nidhi shhhd him...n said'sir...take it easy..dr nagpal is here...dont worry..aap out of danger hain..." dr dubey seemed to smile...but nidhi could sense the muscles of the left side seemed flaccid...
Dr nagpal examined dr dubey..."clench ur fist...raise your leg...pout your lips..." he finally looked at him n said" sir, it was a stroke..not a severe one..per the clot has affected the motor area ...luckily only the left hand is affected..rest for a week n physiotherapy plus care should see you back on your feet v soon...medicines mei basically preva hi chalegi..rest vitamins etc...take care,..n no exertion..see you tomorrow"!!as dr nagpal left, dr dubey looked at nidhi , arranging everything ...and then she rotated the lever to make him sit so that he could have his medicines...he gulped them down n then lay peacefully...almost helpless...nidhi felt a strangeburge to weep...seeing the dreaded dr dubey so helpless...he seemed so linely n old...as he slept..nidhi kept sitting on the sofa in the room...monitoring his vitals...till at about 7 dr ranganath came n said" ghar nahi jaayengi dr nidhi..."?? Nidhi shook her head" nahi dr ranganath..meri yahaan zyaada zuroorat hai..dr ashutosh bhi hote to mujhe yahin rukne ko kehte...aap jaaiye..i m here for dr dubey...kal aap jaldi aa jayenge to change ker aaoongi aur nishu sebhi mil loongi..." dr ranganath nodded..he always knew themettle dr nidhi wasmade of!!
At about 10 in thenight nidhi put her hand on dr dubey's forehead..."sir plz ..kuch kha leejiye..."as the wardboy rotated the lever , nidhi got fresh juice and biscuits...she held the glass to his lips...as he sipped and then looked at her..." dr nidhi..tum ghar jaao..i am fine now...night duty pe koi dr hoga..." nidhi wiped his face n made him lie.."sir mai yahaan dr nahi...aapki attendent hoon...aap rest kariye main yahin hoon...dont worry...sab theek ho jaayega..its just a mtter of a few weeks..." dr dubeynodded..but then seemed pensive"i know...per do teen hafton ki care...kaise hogi..kaun karega...aisa karo ek nurse emply karlo..i d pay" nidhi smiled"sir...nurses to woh hire kartein hain..jinka koi apna nahi hota...aur yahaan to main hoon...mai look after karoongi..chahe jitna bhi waqt lage...dr ashutosh sachche dil se aapki izzat karte hain...phir yeh to mera farz hai...ek dr ki tarah bhi...aur aapke student ki biwi ki tarah bhi..." dr dubey smiled...as he drifted into sleep...
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dr ashutosh came to know of dr dubey's illness when he talked to baba..enquiring why nidhi was not picking her phome..baba had said'ashu nidhi dekh rekh kar rahi hai..tu chintana kar...he will be fine..mai bhi jaaoonga milne..nidhi baat karegi tujhse beta..." dr ashutosh smiled...nidhi..he could visualise her sitting thru the night..taking care of dr dubey an old man...not even related to her...but that is what made nidhi ..his nidhi so special...
In the early morning nidhi dialled dr ashutosh from the corridoor" sorry...aapki call nahi le payi...woh dr dubey..unwell hain..." ashutosh listened to the treatment n also the first aid that she had administered..."good doc..you saved his life...for sure..ab to bus rest n physiotherapy of hand..." nidhi smiled"aap worry nahi kariye main hoon na,..sab sambhaal loongi" ashutosh smiledand said..."i know nidhi..per apna khayaal rakhna..."
As nidhi entered the icu..dr dubey was semi awaje ...he mumbled in his sleep" sharda...sharda...kahaan chali gayi..."as tears trickled from his closed eyes...nidhi calmly wiped the gracious drops ...as she realised the loneliness ..the vulnerability behind the tough exterior...the face of her own baba emerged before her eyes...but atleast he had her...the lovely daughter...dr dubey seemed desperately alone..in the autumn of his life...nidhi had to help him...

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As nidhi reached home and rushed for a bath, she emerged and hugged nishu..kissing him all over" sorry nishu...maaf ker de mamma ki duty bahut long hai aajkal...naaraaz hai..."?? N nishu broke into a smile... touching her face he said"papa ne bola ..mamma ka khayal rakhna...juice logi mamma?? " nidhi seemed dazed at the warmth..at the understanding that their lil son exuded...she called him ..and as he came..she held him... looking into his brown eyes she said" pata hai mamma ko kya chahiye...?? Nishu...aur..." nishu smiled n cried" aur mere papa..." n clapped...as nidhi blushed' chup badmash"!!!
As nidhi dropped nishu to school , then she drove to dr dubey's house to pick up a few essentials..specially his reading glasses, as one pair had been broken when he fell...the servant let her in..she asked him for a few kurta pyjamas ..and as he seemed a lil confused , nidhi herself went in to take the clothes...she looked for the specs..she found them on a book.."maila aanchal" and as she looked at the bedside she saw an old couple photo of dr dubey...n his wife...nidhi took that too...n came out..
As dr dubey opened his eyes...nidhi greeted him...and gelped him wers his specs...as he looked around..his gaze fell on the picture...he was almost lost in thoughts...and as nidhi got up...he called her...as she leaned..he said" yeh sharda hai...meri patni...tees baras ho gaye guzre hue ..per aaj bhi lagta hai..yahin hai mere saath..." nidhi patted his hand...trying to smile thru her tears...she was witnessing another season ..another facet of the magic called love...

Dr nagpal had just emerged after examining dr dubey, he was fully conscious now and the damage could now be assessed.His left hand had certainly suffered and there was motor dysfunction in the left leg as well due to which he could not stand without support...the worst part was that he seemed rattled by the stroke n very apprehensive if he d ever be able to walk n work again..dr nagpal had smiled n patted him saying"sir you are urself a doctor..you know if you cooperate with the physiotherapy regime , you have a v good chance of complete recovery...now its up yo you n the care that can be provided" he had ended looking at nidhi...
That night nidhi got the dinner tray for dr dubey but he seemed disinclined to eat...she smiled and tried to involve him in conversation" sir...aap aur shardaji kahaan mile the...plz bataaiye na..." dr dubey had smiled wistfully and sighed" dr nidhi...shaadi ke mandap me mile the..aur kahaan..our's was an arranged marriage..uss zamaane mei aise hi hota tha..."nidhi meanwhile encouraged him to eat...porridge and sandwich."mai mbbs kar raha tha...aur woh b.a. english...padhne ka bahut shauk tha usse...woh 20 saal ki thi...aur mai 24 ka...jaanti ho hum pehli baar kahaan gaye the ghoomne??india gate ke lawns pe...dilli me rehte the...india gate pe ice cream...wahi honey moon hota tha..humaare zamaane mei..." nidhi smiled as the dinner was nearly over...she took the tray away and took the towel to wipe his face...dr dubey looked at her..saying nothing...he just tried to pat her...but could not lift his left hand...nidhi saw the frustration on his face..she smiled..n said"dont worry...issi haath se pakdenge mere kaan...chaliye ab sone ki koshish kariye..mai baithti hoon..." dr dubey closed his eyes..he knew nidhi would not go home .he had been prodding her to go home for the last three nights but she had just smiled...n stayed on..
As dr dubey fell into sleep, nidhi came out of the room and fixed up with the physiotherapist who was to come from the next morning...n then as she sat in a chair..completely drained she dialled dr ashutosh..."hullo...kaise hain aap"?? Ashutosh smiled n replied"mai theek hoon..dr dubey kaise hain...hows the progress"?? Nidhi sipped into her coffee that the nurse had brought, she replied"well hes out of danger...left hand affected hai..leg bhi thoda ..kal se physiotherapy shuru karenge..lets see..." ashutosh turned his attention to nidhi"tum...hospital me ho...aaj bhi?? Nishu rota nahi..."??"jee..din me jab dr ranganath free hote hain tab ghar jaati hoon...armaan ji aur baba sab sambhaal lete hain..nishu sach much ..bahut sweet hai...trouble nahi karta...miss to karta hoga..per kya karoon...aap hi bataaiye.." ashutosh sighed..wishing he could be there..to share nidhi's burden..she must be going thru a lot..home ..hospital..nishu...his absence..."tum ekdum theek ker rahi ho...just take care of yourself...dont worry dr dubey will improve...lets see how fast...thode mushkil temperament ke to hain..." nidhi agreed"jee..i understand...lonely hain...per unke gusse mei bhi ek pyaar hai...dil ke bahut achche hain..." ashutosh smiled as nidhi seemed to be repeating his lines..."kal baat karwaana meri...when he feels better...chalo...thoda rest kerlo...aur sweaters pehne hain na...are u still having chills"?? Nidhi smiled n evaded"i am fine...dont worry...hab tak aap nahi aate..mujhe hi to sab sambhalna hai.." ashutosh looked at his cell lovingly as he imagined his nidhi ...holding the fort i his absence...her strength always surprised him...
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Dr ashutosh was just finishing his lecture and as he wound up his things and tried to look for zafar,..who seemed invisible..meera came and helped him..."sir let me take these things to ur cabin..i am sure you will not be offended..." dr ashutosh did not say anything ..but walked away...dr meera following him..in the cabin dr meera put his laptop, papers n files as he smiled formally n thanked her...meera just lingered on...and as dr ashutosh raised his characteristic eyebrow...she fumbled..with words but managed to say" sir...how is my performance in the class...do you think i d make a good surgeon"?? Dr ashutosh smiled..n said" meera, you already are a surgeon n this is superspecialisation...surgery is perfected thru focus n practise..each day one has to try to be better...so maintain ur focus..dont digress"
Meera smiled back..her eyes twinkling" thank you sir..n i promise i d do you proud..." n before dr ashutosh could say anything else..she was gone...ashutosh seemed a lil frustrated ...he could sense meera's attraction to him...n he knew he must nip it in the bud...
As dr ashutosh settled in his bed , having talked to baba armaan n nishu...he was relaxed..nishu indeed was sensible for his age...probably a lil lonely...wish he could get a sibling...n then ashu's thoughts automatically went to nidhi...had she healed now??was loneliness bringing her grief back?? Would she be able to bear if she did not concieve again??ashutosh did not seemed to have any answers to these questions...as he closed his tired eyes...he tasted the bliss of sleep...
ASHUTOSH SHIFTED IN SLEEP...AS HE SEEMED RESTLESS ...N THEN HE GOT UP WITH A SRART...A SMILE ON HIS FACE...HE RARELY SAW DREAMS...BUT TODAY HE HAD SEEN ONE..N A BEAUTIFUL ONE AT THAT...HE HAD SEEN NIDHI COMING TOWARDS HIM N HANDING HIM A CUTE LIL BABY IN PINK FROCK...HE HAD RUBBED HIS STUBBLE ON THE BABY...N SHE HAD CRIED...WHICH SEEMED TO HAVE AWAKENED HIM...
ashutosh sat n reflected...he did not want to share his dream with nidhi...he knew though she did not talk of this to him..but he knew it was on her mind all the time...each time he made love to her..he had seen that hope in her eyes...he just wished...to see a smile in those eyes...nidhi had fulfilled his dream...he wished he could fulfil what had now become nidhi's dream...the song ..mere ghar aaiyee ek nanhi pari...almost came to his lips...but he restrained himself..he too seemed scared to dream...he knew how pieces hurt when dreams got shattered...
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"Sir aap koshish to kariye..plz you r not trying hard enough"it was dr anuj the physiotherapist trying to encourage dr dubey who seemed to struggle with the regime of excercises..the young physio's admonishing tone seemed to flare up his temper..."majboor hua hoon..dr ..per mazloom nahi...abhi bhi tumse zyaada jaanta hoon..." nidhi who had been observing from the door, rushed in as dr dubey tried to move away...n held him before he stumbled..."plz dr anuj..be patient..dr dubey is just coming out of the stroke...he d take time..thoda patient rahiye" dr anuj looked at nidhi n remarked" madam...this is how i work...if you feel i am not helping you can get the excercises done urself..." and giving dr dubey a cold look he went out...nidhi saw the helplesness in dr dubey's eyes...she held his arm n made him sit..." aap chinta nahi kariye...mai karaaoongi aapko excercises...just dont be tense..."
Nidhi came home..n hugged nishu..." kaisa hai mera baby..."??" I am fine mamma..dekho mers hw bhi over ho gaya...chalo ab khelte hain..." nidhi seemed to be splitting with back ache...but the hope of her company in nishu' s innocent eyes..touched her..she took him to the sofa as they began snakes n ladder..nidhi realised nishu could count n even add pretty quickly...as she wanted to kiss his hair in adulation...he clapped"mamma ko to snake ne bite kar liya...ha ha"!! N nidhi smiled n tousled his hair...as he raised his eyebrow..so much like his father...nidhi looked at the calender...4 more weeks to go...she had to help dr dubey recover before that...for once she remembered what dadi bua used to say" aurat hona matlab dus dus haath hona..." only god was giving her the strength...it seemed...
Nidhi got hot khichdi n boondi raita for dr dubey's dinner..as she made him sit...she realised he was looking at his n shardaji's photo...nidhi picked it up carefully..wiping it with her dupatta..she handed it over to him...as she served food... dr dubey gave her the photo back...n smiled as he saw hot home made food..."aapka manpasand boondi ka raita..." said nidhi...as dr dubey smiled bacj" baking soda to nahi daala..."?? N nidhi smiled as she shook her head...as she fed him..for the first time he tried to eat himself...nidhi handed him the spoon...it was the first step towards recovery...as he finished the meal...he said" ghar ke khane se badi koi dawa nahi...sach kitna bewkoof tha mai..jab woh rule banaaya tha...i am sorry dr nidhi...mere rules ne bahut dil dukhaya tumhara...aur us couple ka...sach kahoon..akele rehte rehte ek thandapan aa jaata hai..ek sakhti...jaise dil ki..aankhon ki narmi kahi kho see jaati hai...akelapan aisa andhera hora hai...jisme sab rang kho jaate hain..." nidhi smiled n added"siwaa pyaar ke rang ke..." dr dubey laughed" you are right...per iss umar mei...pyaar"?? Nidhi looked at him...n sat on the stool..." sir pyaar..zindagi me ek naam se hi thode hi aataa hai...har rishte ka apna rang hota hai..pati patni, baap bete..dost...sab humaari zindagi ke alag alag pehloo ko ujaagar karte hain...you know like colors of a rainbow..." dr dubey smiled..."theek kehti ho...per mere..humaare koi bachche nahi the...shaayad isiliye zindagi itni khali ho gayee sharda je baad..." nidhi listened ...probably it was the first time that dr dubey was speaking his heart...and as he finally lay...she adjusted his sheet n settled in the sofa...
In the morning, after the sister had helped dr dubey freshen up...nidhi came with the clutch pad n the excerciser...and there began the first of the sessions..in which nidhi held his fingers ..encouraging him..pleading..smiling ..n just not letting him give up...
At the end of the session, as she settled dr dubey, she herself seemed extremely tired n suddenly very hungry...,nidhi came to the canteen...and ordered tea and poha...just as she ate hungrily..she remembered she had to give medicines to dr dubey...dr dubey looked at her..." dr nidhi ..main tumhari sb baat maan raha hoon...tum ek baat maanogi??aaj raat ghar jaao...tum beemaar ho jaaogi to mujhe kaun dekhega..."?? N nidhi nodded...as dr dubey tried to hold her hand in his left one,..but couldnt...nidhi gently patted him...as there was a knock at the door...it was baba..." dr mathur...aap??i am sorry meri wajah se dr nidhi ghar bhi nahi..." baba sat n looked at dr dubey" dr dubey..main nidhi se nahi..tumse milne aaya hoon...kaise ho ab"?? Dr dubey tried to evade his eyes...fighting his own tears...baba..his senior n old friend held his hand..." yaad hai..humaare...infact tumhare zamaane ka woh gaana..." dr dubey looked up..as baba tried to sing..
PONCH KER ASHQ APNI AANKHON SE
MUSKURAAO TO KOI BAAT BANE..
SIR JHUKAANE SE KUCH NAHI HOGA..
SIR UTHAAO TO KOI BAAT BANE...
dr dubey smiled...as tears flowed...and nidhi looked at and admired the two old men...
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As nidhi bathed n came to bed...she sawnishu fiddling with her lap top..." kya nishu..."..." papa se skype karo na ..." nidhi smiled...she too was dying to see him..it had been a week,...but she looked at the watch..he might be out on his walk...but her heart n nishu's nagging made her try...n dr ashutosh was there...
"Hi papa" said nishu as hewaved...n ashutosh lookedmesmerised.." beta..jaga hai abhi...kya kar raha hai"??" Aapse baat ker raha hoon papa"n ashutosh laughed...as he talked with nishu discussing his birthday plans..his gaze was constantly at nidhi sitting quietly...and as finally nishu kissed the screen n said goodnight...nidhi came..."kaisi ho jaan"??"theek hoon..bus thoda thak gayi ..."dr ashutosh sae her in her red gown...her mangalsutra hanging ...the ring still in it..."nidhi...let jaao...you are fagged out..."nidhi pouted" nahi..mujhe aapko dekhna hai..baat karni hai aapse"dr ashutosh laughed" let ke bhi baat ho sakti hai..." as nidhi lay...n looked at the screen...dr ashutosh's gaze was fixed at her.nidhi pouted"mujhe miss karte hain ya nahi"?? Ashutosh smiled n shook his head...as a surprised nidhi sat up" yaad nahi aati meri"?? Ashutosh looked at her with that deep intensity...almost reminiscent of kerala days" nidhi..miss unhe kiya jaata hai...jo apne se door ho...tum to humesha mere saath ho..mere paas ho...hur dum..humesha humesha..."as nidhi smiled...n ashutosh saw from thousands miles away her eyelids droop...as she drifted into sleep...he could not control himself from kissing the computr screen...
He logged out...but kept humming an old kishore kumar song..
PAL PAL DILKE PAAS TUM REHTI HO
JEEVAN MEETHI PYAAS YEH KEHTI HO...
as he came to the window n looked at the trees shaking down snow flakes..his heart reverberated..
MAIN SAANS LETA HU,TERI KHUSHBOO AATI HAI
EK MEHKA MEHKA SA PAIGAAM LATI HAI
MERE DIL KI DHADKAN BHI TERE GEET GAATI HAI
PAL PAL...
YES NIDHI WAS ALWAYS CLOSE TO HIS HEART...ALWAYS...

Dr nidhi , you need to teach dr dubey..your patient n boss that he needs to cooperates with the physiotherapist..otherwise he might not be able to walk ever..."!snarled dr nagpal at nidhi..who had come to report about dr dubey's progress..she listened but then replied"sir, if you would kindly listen to me ..dr dubey has made progress ..his hand is 95%functional...you also have observed that...as far as the physio is concerned, we feel he was just too ambitious..dr dubey could not cope up so fast...with me he s responding..isnt he"?? Dr nagpal gave a cynical look to nidhiand said"indeed his hand has improved but what about his walk??and do not forget that you are not a trained physiotherapist??you could ruin his regime of progress completely..anyway its up to you n dr dubey ..he is the chief administrator here and you dr nidhi ..happen to be the wife of the chief surgeon n the chief trustee of kgh...so ithink i cant make you see reason...i am leaving...you can contact me when required...thank you"..as nidhi came out ..she had her lower lip in her teeth...was she making a mistake in helping dr dubey to recover with her regime..would he recover??or would he collapse??should she revert to the physiotherapist??whom should she consult??it hadbeen 9 days..n though his hand was much better now, he could cut, eat, put his buttons..but this was also a fact that she had not been able to muster him for standing exercises...nidhi sighed...as she could think of no one else except dr ashutosh..she doalled...
It was early morning in london...as dr ashutosh was still asleep...but got up to take the call..seeing nidhi's call..he grabbed at the phone"haan nidhi kya hua"??nidhi 's brow was furrowed..she said" suniye ..woh dr dubey ke baare me baat karni thi..if you could give me some time...otherwise i will call later..." ashutosh smiled...his nidhi..never askedtime for herself...she was always worried for others...this was she ...the girl whom he had fallen in love with..the one who continued to be the heart n soul of his home...the strength of his life...the lifeline of his hospital...ashutosh smiled"bolo nidhi..you have all my attention..go ahead..." nidhi explained dr dubey's condition to ashutosh, his progress and also his handicaps...she also narrated why the physiotherapist could not maje any head way...ashutosh heard her patiently and thrn finally said" nidhi, i gfeel you are doing a terrific job and dr dubey is making good progress..i too feel, knowing his temperament ..he would not be able to cooperate with the physio...i feel you should continue..from tomorrow start walking excersises...but be careful..i am mailing you the steps but use ur own common sense and see how he s responding...ok?? Do u want me to talk to nagoal..i know he must be irritated...he wont understand your kind of medicine...i d talk.."!! Nidhi immiediately interrupted" no dr ashutosh, aap bilkul nahi kahiyega kuch..i am his junior ..he has full authority to bang me...plz aap nahi kuch kahiye..it will make him even more convinced that i have a special status...because i am ur wife...i dont like it dr ashutosh..." dr ashutosh smiled again...a light of pride in his eyes...so typical of nidhi..not wanting to rake any privilege...he finally relented" ok..baba nahi kahoonga..per yaad rakhna...you need to be careful about youself too...back to nahi dard karti zyada"?? Nidhi smiled..feeling her back that ached so much..that it had almost become a part of her being...she smiled n said" thoda dukhti hai...aap aayenge to press kariyega..theek ho jaayegi...achchaab bye..got to go on duty...nishu aur baba se skype keriyega...i have got a new i phone for baba...maxi aur baba dono skype seekh gaye hain..Bye...haan yeh bata deejiye ki mujhe kabhi sapne me dekhte hain bhi ya nahi"?? Ashutosh laughd and wanted to share his lovely dream with nidhi...wanted to describe how he had seen her place a doll like daughter in his lap...the feel of the child's soft skin..seemed fresh in his memory,..but he stopped short..nidhi's loss ..her sorrow...her desire...he knew them all too well n did not want to accentuate them...so he just laughed.."sote jaagte...tum hi to rehti ho in aankhon mei..." n nidhi smiled as she got up...imagining ashutosh..lying lazily in his bed...ashutosh too kept looking at his cell..imagining nidhi ..trying to guess what must she be wearing today...he recalled her favourite kurtas...and how she would prod him to put her back zip...n he would invariably slip his big hands..on to her breasts...feeling and teasing the tits..and then eventually end up making love to her...ashutosh looked at his hands and tried to remember nidhi's soft feel...her shoulders...her face..her long hair...ashutosh sighed as he got up...thinking of how tired nidhi must be..how her back must be hurting...howw she must be dropping off to sleep...the only good thing was she was indeed v busy..n thus had no time to be sad or low...ashutosh looked outside..it was not snowing but the london sky was covered with clouds...he thought of the gloom in nidhi's heart...when would the sun of fulfilled desires shine??
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Dr nidhi was holding dr dubey by her hand strongly, as anil the ward boy walked close behind and the old dr took small steps ..holding to the walker...specially designed by nidhi..keeping in mind his load and gait...It had been a week since se had started the foot excercises..and initially the progress had been v slow indeed ...but now dr dubey was taking steps..pushing the walker and th lifting his feet...if he dragged his left foot, nidhi would immiediately bend and make him lift it...It was a common sight in the hospital corridor..the old infirm patient looking tired and dejected and the young but determined dr prodding him in..telling him that he could do it..repeating that giving up was not an option he had...they gad started witha shaky step and dr dubey collapsing in nidhi n anil's arms...but now they could come till the ward door...nidhi often did not hold dr dubey..though he d always look back for reassurance..though he was much senior to her father...yet it seemed the roles had been reversed..dr dubey seemed the helpless child just out of his infancy ..trying to take baby steps..and nidhi the ever vigilant mother...telling him that he had to try again...that she was there to hold him if he fell...That day as they returned from the walk till outside the ward...nidhi smiled as dr dubey clapsed her hand...and she said"is weekend tak dr ashutish ke cabin tak pahunchna hai aapko..." dr dubey looked at his cell ringinh..n picked up...nidhi came out...thinking of nishu...she had hardly reached the end of the corridor when anil came calling for her..."dr nidhi aapko..sir bula rahe hain..." nidhi turned and almost ran to dr dubey...he seemed calm..as he saw nidhi..he smiled.after ages..."dr nidhi...tumne jo e mail bheja tha ...so meri behan ka phone aaya...woh aa rahi hai..newzealand se...mere pass...2 maheeno ko...kusum aa rahi hai...15 saal choti hai mujhse...kitne saal baad miloonga ...thanx dr nidhi..." nidhi withdrew...seeing dr dubey smile...as he looked at shardaji's photo lovingly...she came our with the joy of satisfaction in her heart...
The next day dr dubey found it difficult..he almost collapsed twice..just after the ard...nidhi recalled dr ashutosh's words"setbacks are a part of recovery..learn to respect them" she brought him back...and as he lay he had tears in his eyes...nidhi looked at him n took his left hand" sir aap himmat nahi haariye...aap chalenge zurroor chalenge...hum honge kaamyaab ek din..." she left dr dubey at that time but returned after his siesta to restart the walk...initially apprehensive..bbutwith nidhi's encouragement , he slowly walked ...first out to the ward...and then as anil tried to change the direction of his walker, he told him to back off in his typically dr dubey temper...and did it himself...nidhi and anil were aghast...all the nurses watched, even dr gandhi , just out of his surgery stood and looked what had seemed unbelievable till a week back...dr dubey seemed to move with firm steps...and as he pushed his walker in front of ashutosh's cabin...his eyes read his favourite students name...and then he looked at dr nidhi..strong as a rock with him...heis eyes shone with a strange light...of joy pride...confidence...and a child like ecstacy...he looked at nidhi and said..."hum ho gaye kaamyaab nidhi...tumhare vishwaas ne mujhe chalna sikha diya...kaamyaab kar diya... impossible ko possible ker dikhaya..thank you dr nidhi ..thank you..."!!

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Dr ashutosh had just finished taking a class test and all the students had gone out...all except one...dr meera stayed back...and as ashutosh busy in going through the papers ..finally looked up..he was surprised almost shocked to see meera sitting..gazing at him...mesmerised...dr ashutosh was a little irritated..."yes meera...whats it now..."?? Meera stood up...n walked to him..."sir...i cannot hold back any further...i idolize you...you are everything a great dr should be...you are my inspiration...i ..i ..i kind of worship you dr ashutosh..."!! Ashutosh stood up..pulling his hand away from the table as meera tried to hold it...but she extended hers...touching dr ashutosh's fingers...dr ashutosh closed his eyes...in anger ..in frustration..to him meera was nothing more than a student...why was she then indulging in this adulation...ashutosh had to put a stop to this...he looked at her sternly and said" dr meera..you are my student..and our relationship is purely professional...of a dr and student...nothing else..." meera tried to say" but dr ashutosh...after frcs...i d not be your student...then ..what of it then..."?? Dr ashutosh' s eyes flared with anger.." dr meera..you are nothing but a student to me...and that is how it d remain..today..tomorrow n for ever...got it"??saying so...ashutosh stormed out...while meera stood rooted..her eyes full of tears..tears of love..of sadness of rejection...as she put her cheek on the table on which dr ashutosh had been working a few minutes ago...n she wept " but dr ashutosh...i d love you..today tomorrow n for ever..."...
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"Dr nidhi, aapse koi milne aaya hai..." it was luxmi bai talking to nidhi..nidhi seemed a lil surprised as she got up from her consultation table and came into the foyer..a middle aged lady of about 50..52 was waiting for her..as nidhi moved she observed the lady's long hair..tied in a bun..she had strands of grey hair...and a face that oozed of kindness...nidhi movedand said"yes..mam..i am dr nidhi" the lady extended her hand and said in a voice that had an accent " hi nidhi, i am kusum..kusum tripathi..i am dr shiv dubey's sister..remember u had mailed me..." nidhi realised ..she had mailed her a fortnight back...finding her address n id from dr dubey's diary..." oh v nice you came...dr dubey bahut khush honge..." .."kaise hain dada...can we meet him"?? Nidhi smiled" off course you can meet him..he has nearly made a 100%recovery..ab aap aa gayee hain to he d be fully fit..."kusum smiled..her kind eyes shining with moisture.."thanx nidhi for having contacted me...thanx" nidhi bit her lip" actually, dr dubey was not ready to come to our home..aur servant ke bharose unko unke ghar pe nahi chod sakti thi...hence i had to contact you..." kusum patted nidhi's hand"thats fine...tell me can i take him to his home..and more importantly when i meet him..can i be emotional...or do i have to hold back..."??Nidhi laughed and saod"aap aone bade bhai se mil rahi hain...dil khol ke miliye baatein kariye...aaj dr nagpal .i mean the neurosurgeon d come for the check up..if he allows , you can take him home...maine ghar ready karwa diya hai...ek nurse bhi jaayegi saath mei..aapko koi problem nahi hogi...madam.." kusum smiled ..n said" madam ..nahi..kusum aunty kaho...tumse bahut badi hoon mai...aur dekh liya hai maine ghar...thank you...nidhi thank you vv much... chalo ab dada ke paas..."
As they entered..dr dubey who had just finished his morning hand excercise ...looked up..his gaze met kusum' s...and nidhi saw a strange feel descend into the old man's eyes...kusum could not hold herself back..she rushed n throwing her arms around him cried" dada..mai aa gayee..." dr dubey patted her head...n said" meri baby aa gayee...dekhoon to tujhe main...aa to baith mere paas..." as kusum sat close to dr dubey..the two lost in their past..their common bondd...nidhiwalked out...quietly closing the door behind her..suddenly feeling very lonely..very left out...her feet took her to her favourite refuge..dr ashutosh's cabin...and as she entered ..n looked around at the cabin overflowing with memories...with moments of life..their life..she could see herself rushing in to reort about her alzhimers patient..that actually turned out to be baba...her meeting dr ashutosh agter their engagement..then when they brought their tiny nishu ..into the cabin...and finally when after she had lost their baby..how dr ashutosh brought her in here...nidhi could nnever forget it..tears dwelled into her eyes..tears of their loss that still clawed at her..tears of loneliness..tears of not being able to give enough time to nishu...and tears ...just idle tears...she wanted to see dr ashutosh..wanted to be with him..to feel his strong arms...she looked at her cell..it was 9.30.in london it would be 4 a.m. she did not have the heart to disturb dr ashutosh...she just sighed and wiped her tears herself...and came out...to attend to her duties..she had learnt from her boss...her dr ashutosh that for a dr..duty always came first..
In the afternoon , dr nagpal arrived...and as he was lead into dr dubey's cabin, nidhi followed him..he looked at nidhi n then at dr dubey.."so sir ...are you now ready for the physiotherapist..i am seeing you after 12 days..i feel now you should be more reasonable..." nidhi bit her lip...as dr dubey looked at dr nagpal...cold and hard..and then at an apprehensive nidhi...as kusum stood by his side..holding his shoulder..."nagpal...apni advice se pehle yeh to dekho..ki do i need a physiotherapist at all..." and as dr dubey stood up from his bed...straightand walked towards dr nidhi...dr nagpal's expressions changed from irritation to anger...and then to utter bewilderment..he looked at dr dubey standing next to nidhi..."how did this happen.??i dont believe it..this is impossible..that too without a physio...or is she your physio"?? He said pointing towards kusum...dr dubey laughed and patted drnagpal..." she is my younger sister...new zealand se aayeehai aaj ..mere paas...aur let me introduce you to my general physician..my nurse, my physiotherapist...my support...dr nidhi...yeh kamaal sirf isi ki mehnat lagan..aur hausle ka hai...dr nidhi ke commitment ne mujhe waapas apne pairon per khada ker diya... " dr nagpal seemed to have lost his speech..he was dumbfounded ,.as he looked at dr dubey n then nidhi ...dr dubey continued"jaante ho nagpal...qualifications bahut important hain..per for a dr to be truly great...ek commitment..ek lagan ..ek tapasya ki zuroorat..hoti hai...jo dr nidhi me hai...you know nagpal , jahaan humari medical science fail ker jaati hai..wahaan ek sachche dil ki lagan kaam ker jaati hai...dr nidhi ne ek baar phir yeh saabit ker diya...ab bataao mujhe relieve kab karoge...i want to join work...ab koi apaahij thode hi hoon main..."?? Dr nagpal's frown finally disappeared and a faint smile appeared on his lips..as he turned to dr nidhi..." dr nidhi..i have to admit..that you have done wonders..you have achieved the impossible...tumne dr dubey ko stroke se bahar nikal ke..rehabilitate ker ke..mera point of view badal diya...you know i always believed on techniques..on qualifications...on thherapy...but tumne sab galat saabit kar diya...you have proven ..degrees se bada..bahut bada hota hai ek dr ka apne patient ke liye dedication..."and then he looked at dr dubey"sir...you are relieved today...i recommend a rest for three days and then you can join work..i am sure kgh is missing you..." dr nagpal patted nidhi and smiled..almost affectionately.." i d commend you to ashutosh...n yes he is indeed very lucky to have you..god bless you dr nidhi"!! Nidhi lowered her eyes...as dr nagpal walked out...
Nidhi handed over all the papers , medicines to kusum n introduced her to kiran n aasha the two nurses that thad been deputed for dr dubey's home..for a week..when dr dubey asked er ranganath for the bill, dr ranganath smiled and replied"sir..your bill has been cleared..you dont need to pay anything..bus aap jaldi se aa jaaiye aur hume daantna shuru kariye...specially dr nidhi ko..." and all laughed...as dr dubey got up to leave..heput his hand on nidhi 'head n said"ashutosh ne apni guru dakshina di..samajh me aata hai...per tumhara to mai guru bhi nahi raha..phir bhi itna kiya tumne mere liye...raaton jaagi...ghar ..apne parivasr..yahaan tak ki apne bachche se bhi door rahi mere liye...kaise chukaaoonga..ye karz..dr nidhi..."?? Nidhi pushe back her tears...as she felt a sudden surge of emotions...but then said"sir..aap waapas aaiye..iss hospital ko sambhaaliye..aur rahi baat karz ki...to kya jo bachche apne parents ke liye karte hain..woh unpe karz hota hai??maine wahi kiya jo mai baba ke liye karti...bus " and dr dubey looked away..wiping his tears...as he then asked kusum" sharda ki photo le li.."?? N kusum nodded as nidhi n dr ranganath accompanied them to the car...
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Nidhi sat in her bedroom as nishu played with his arms around her neck..n as she hugged him , she asked" nishu, birthday hai kal...dress pasand aayee tumhe"?? She had bought a jeans and a disney sweater with a hood...armaanwas shopping still..they had planned a small party with family ..and nidhi had made 40 goodie bags for his froends and teachers at school...and one for nitu...baba had also planned to take sweets to jeewan sandhya n the orphanage...nidhi smiled as nishu played ..putting his head in her lap..n then closing his eyes..only to open them again n kiss her on the cheeks...there was a knock at the door...it was armaan..nidhi got up..asnishu ran to his chacha..." chal nishu ..ye shoes try kar...aur yeh watch pasand hai"??nishu seemed fascinated with the lovely sports shoes and a watch with a mickey on the dial..as armaan lifted him and went dancing in a circle...the phone rang...nidhi picked it up...it was dr ashutosh.."taiyaari ho gayi birthday ki...kya plan gai"??as nishu somehow knew it was his papa, nidhi put the phone on loudspeaker...as nishu explained ..his words not as fast as his thoughts...n ashutosh laughed" dheere nishu..papa nahi samajh pa raha..." n nishu slapped his forehead..n said" oh papa..be smart"!!n baba n armaan laughed..as nidhi remembered how she had commented on ashutosh's slow progress"poore teen mahine laga diye thebataane me ki mujhe pyaar karte hain"!!! Ashutosh talked to armaan about nidhi's visa n also nishu's and then as nidhi took the phone, he said"jaan...now dr dubey has recovered..thand bhi kum hai kuch...mere lectures are going to be over tomorrow and i have been quicker with my dessertation...i want ki tum dono..12 feb tak aa jao...i have booked everything...bus a" as nidhi was talking, nishu playing beside..pressed the loudspeaker..."jaan ab bahut miss kar raha hoon tumhe .." the entire family including kaka n maxi heard dr ashutosh speaking his heart..as a shocked..bemused n embarassed nidhi switched off theloud speaker...n glared at naughty nishu as armaan n nishu laughed and baba smiled...nidhi turned beetroot red n kept the phone saying"thodi der me baat kerti hoon..." n ran inside her bedroom...
Late at night..infact almost in the wee hours at about 3 in the night she got a skype call from dr ashutosh...she sat up sleepily n answered...his face flashing on her computer screen..."kaise hain aap..."?? She asked lazily...ashutosh could see her in her purple gown..he gulped.as his fingers grazed the screen...nidhi smiled seeing the love n longing in his eyes...she sat up n asked" bataaiye ..kya karna hai..." ashutosh spoke"day after tomorrow..visa ke liye jaana hai ..and then just pack..i have booked tickets for 11 feb..bus 8 din bache hain..packing theek se karna..woolens rakhna..but not too many .yahaan shop ker lena,.."nidhi smiled ..wt limit kya hai...ashutosh smiled"40 kg each..you are flying business class...stop over hai dubai me ..for about 4 hrs..i hope manage ker logi akele..." nidhi pouted"off course ker loongi...aapko manage ker liya to sab kuch manage ker loongi..." ashitosh laughed..n added"medical insurance ke papers mail ker diye hain ..print out leke sign n give to armaan..aur mujhe bhi scanned copy bhej dena...ok"??nidhi nodded.."aapka kaam ho jaayega na..hum disturbance to nahi honge.."??ashutosh looked at her long ..and said"kaam ka to pata nahi...per haan neend zuroor disturb hogi..." and as nidhi blushed...he responded" hey doc..seriously..tumhare aur nishu ke bina ab kaam bhi nahi ho raha...i d be thru by 14feb...aur 16se ghoomenge..now start packing..." nidhi smiled.."kal ki party ke baad,..nishu bahut excited hai...per miss ker raha hai aapko..."ashutosh raised his eyebrow n asked"aur tum..."?? Nidhi smiled and replied..."apne aapko kaise miss kar sakti hoon...bataaiye...mai to aapka hissa hoon..." ashutosh heard the doorbell...must be zaffar,.he thought ..n looked at nidhi.." bye dear...ab kal baat karenge..bahut jaam khatam karna hai..."
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Dr ashutosh looked around for mrs hudson ..not seeing her around..he opened the door...expecting zafar...he was shocked to see..dr meera standing there...her eyes swollen with hours of crying...
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Nidhi could not sleep after skyping with dr ashutosh..the thought that they were just 11 days away..enthralked her...yes she was dying to see england n the continent...but much more than that..she wanted to be with dr ashutosh...it would be full 6 weeks since they met...n nidhi had begun to feel a strange emptiness without him...she would feel lost..at times not knowing what to do...specially now after dr dubey had joined work...routine was normal..but life wasnt..how could it be..when the light..the force in her life was away...nidhi looked at the bedroom...just as she had at his cabin ..remembering the uncounrable moments together...she put her hand on the empty bed ...searching for him..his feel...and as she gazed at their wedding picture...she seemed to sing the only one line of an old song that she could vaguely recall..."dinbhar mujhe youn sataaye..
Tum bin ab to raha nahi jaaye..."
N clutching dr ashutosh's pillow she slowly drifted into sleep...

-----------------------------------------------------------

Tumhaara Intezaar hain..Tum Pukarlo..

Dr ashutosh moved back ..more in anger than shock...as meera looked at him , her eyes telling the tale of her tragic love."dr ashutosh..plz" as she tried to extend her hand towards him, he put up his hand barring any advances..and lookedseverely at her..meera had a determined look on her face..."dr ashutosh ..i want to talk..." ashutosh spoke in his icy tone"sir..plz call me sir..i am your professor..i think you have forgotten that..havent you"??meera sat on the sofa and replied"tomorrow the course ends ..you d no longer be my professor...we can be colleagues..friends and even more...if you would say yes...i would like to make you the happiest man in the world.."ashutosh's eyes seem to blaze with anger..as he gave her a cold stare and said"dr meera..plz do not cross your limits and for your kind information ..i am married...i have a family..do you understand"?? Meera was certainly shocked for a split second...but then regained her composure..."maybe you are married..but probably do not know what bliss it is to be truly loved ..what it is to be with a woman who loves you...what it is to be transported to anothr world when she touches you...what it is when the two of us create magic ..."ashutosh seemed to have lost his cool completely , he gave a fierce glanceto meera .that quietened her..."what do you know about love??its not the useless fantasy ..the crap that you have in your mind...and anyway i have no desire to explain you what l8ve is..but get this loud and clear..my wife has made me the happiest man in the world..the earlier you understand it ..the better it is.."and then ..seeing meera's tear stained face, he elaborated"dr meera, i value youas a doctor..you have a bright carreer..try to understand ..that i am happily ..v happily married ..and you have no place at all in my life,..plz do not force me to report of this misbehaviour to dr watson..and now plz leave..."meera seemed to have understood that dr ashutosh was angry ..very angry..but she made a last ditch effort" ashutosh...if you d just let me colour your life..let me be with you..you d know what true love actually is..."ashutosh gasped..clenched his fists and snarled.."dr meera..you have no idea what true love is...and probably never will...now before i lose my temper and fore you ..plz leave the place immiedaitely...right now.." a dejected meera walked out with her head bowed down...but her eyes still not hopeless..if only she could make ashutosh realise...
Ashutosh closed the door and retired to his bedroom...looking at the picture of nidhi n nishu..his world..his universe..he smiled softly as he held the picture...and said softly..."i am waiting nidhi...ab bus aa jaao..."as he glanced at the clear night outside...the stars twinkling ..in the dark night ..and as he lay on the bed he hummed an old hemant kumar song that baba had taught him on the piano..it echoed..
NA YEH CHAAND HOGA ,NA TAARE RAHENGE
MAGAR HUM HUMESHA TUMHAARE RAHENGE
CHALE JAAYEIN TUMSE JO DOOR KAHIN
TO YEH NA SAMAJHNA MOHABBAT NAHI
TUMHAARE LIYE HAIN..TUMHARE RAHENGE..
yes..he was only n only for nidhi..his nidhi...
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Nidhi hugged nishu in his bed and kissong him crooned"happy birthday..my chanda...muaah"!!and nishu threw his arms around his mother...as she tried to lift him..she suddenly felt v frail..but s0lift him..she did and brought him out ..where armaan had decorated the entire hall and baba was waiting to greet him...as he wriggled down n ran to armaan n baba..and soon the entire hall was ringing with happy birth day to nishu!!!nidhi quickly readied him for school in the new dungrees and then as nishu was having his halwa...she packed thegoodie bags...but she knew what nishu was really waiting for...a call from his father...just as nidhi wiped nishu's face and baba gave him a set of wonderful board books...and a big paint box, the phone rang,..and nishu ran"hato..mera hai,.mere paoa ka"!!and grabbed the reciever from maxi's hand"hullo papa..its me nishu" nidhi held her breath..but the glow on nishu's face told her that it was his father's phone...and as nishu smiled and said"yes..papa party hai shaam ko..nana..bua nani ..khushi sab aayenge..."and then he asked ..."papa...tum kab aaoge...aa jao na plz".it brougtt tears into nidhi 's eyes...as armaan n baba looked away...nidhi took the phone.."aap chinta nahi keejiye..theek hai..khush hai nishu...woh to bas..." and nishu took the phone again..as probably ashutosh explained that he n nidhi would be flying to england...nishu's eyes twinkled as he held the cordless and jumped around his one hand flying like the plane...and then he ended" bye papa..love you ..lo chacha se baat karo.." armaan took the phone and explained that all arrangements for the visa interview had been made..and finallybaba took the phone"ashu...kaisa hai...dekh aaj tera beta teen saal ka ho gayaa...'dr ashutosh replied"baba..nidhi aur nishu twenty days nahi honge...aap kaise ..." n baba laughed n said"arre koi chinta nahi..armaan gai na..hum khoob mauj karenge aur col samdhanji sab to hain...tu nidhi ko khoob enjoy karana..."and armaan shouted from the back ground"aur shopping bhi...bachchoo tera credit card to gayaa ab"!!!!
Nidhi went to drop nishu to the school, met his teacher and explained it was his birthday n handed the goodie bags..in the hospital she called nitu and handed her the bag..holding ger clise for a moment...before patting and saying"tere birthday pe bhi goodie bags doongi tere friends ko..." nitu smiled and added"mam, mere friends to bade hain..you dont need to give them all yhis...bus ek chocolate kaafi hogi..." nidhi couldnt help feeling proud of this girl...so selfless ..so satisfied...so well mannered..probably daughters were always so beautiful...she bit her lip...
Having finished her work, she knocked at dr dubey's cabin at 4 0clock..as she went in she said..a lil apprehensively"sir...woh aaj nishu ka birthday hai...may i go a lil early..."??dr dubey looked at her severely ..before breaking into a smile"off course dr nidhi ..zuroor jao..you need tobe with him..."as nidhi thanked n turned..twitching her fingers nervously,dr dubey said"haan..tumne apni leave application nahi di ab tak...bhai 25 days ki chutti ke liye application todeni hogi..." nidhi almost jumped with joy...dr dubey smiled"ashutosh ne phone kiya tha...your leave is granted..khoob enjoy karo...you deserve it...per nidhi you look pale..plz look after yourself...ashutosh ki dunoya to tumhi pe tiki hai...so you have to look after yourself..." nidhi smiled n thanked him..reminding him not to overwork himself...as she came out..she bumped into dr ranganath...and said"mujhe chutti mil gayee..yoo hooo!!!!" To which dr ranganath replied"lucky you...aap wahaan europe ghoomiyega...aur main yahaan wards ki sair karoonga..." but then laughed and shook hands...nidhi knew he was her well wisher much before he became her bestie's husband...he had always supported her even during the dark mallika days...
Nidhi readied nishu in his jeans n new sweater...with his watch n brand new shoes...but as she opened her own wardrobe,she just didnt feel like dressing up...a wave of loneliness seemed to sweep over her...and finally she took out her pink n white churidaar kurta..with a white sweater...but vefore closing the wardrobe..she touched dr ashutosh's shirts...his suits that were left behind...her fingers caressed the wool..to feel him..the man she loved..the only man she could have ever loved...she closed her eyes...and his face..with those deep eyes emerged before her...
It was a small party eith only solankis, col verma dadi bua and dr ranganath anji n khushi...
Nidhi had got a cake in yhe shape of n aeroplane and as nishu saw it..he clapped" nanaji..i will go to papa in a plane..."nidhi made nishu stand properly as he cut the cake...she felt very lonely...and though she tried to pull baba n armaan...they both reflected" na...nidhi..ashu ki jagah..koi nahi le sakta..."as nishu cut thecake..and offered nidhi a bite,..she first made him feedbaba n armaan...the two pillars of their home...the guarding angels of their haven...anji began to offer the cake as nidhi organised the dinner..solanki sahib took a plate full of jalebi n rabri...and baba laughed his heart out...armaan made nishu n khushi burst the balloons as the family sat n chatted...nidhi hardly sat..looking after everyone..till finally baba said " nidhi beta..aa..khana kha..nahi to aahu se shikaayat karoonga..." asnidhi sat ..she looked at col verma..."baba mai aur nishu jaa rahe hain 11 ko...aap aate rahiyega baba ke..."col verma smiled ..."tu chinta na ker...main hoon na..." n chote sarkar added"aur main bhi hoon na...'!!!!
As the guests left, nishu sat in armaan's lap opening his gifts...a big toy train from nana...a sweater from bua nani...a big tin of chocolates n a jacket from solankis ...and another teddy from khushi!!nishu as delighted...but then looked a lil sad...as armaan asked.."kya hua beta"??nishu pouted"mere papa ka gift..."nidhi smiled ..she had foreseen this..and she went in to get a big pack that she had got for nishu..with a message"TO MY SON NISHU..
PAPA"
nishu excitedly tore the wrapper...and exposed a beautiful quilt with superman on it..nishu was ecstatic"mere papa ka gift ..dekho...choo chweet" and running around he stood near the pic of ashutosh in the drawing room..trying to reach it he said"thank you papa...love u sooo much"!!as baba n armaan hugged him...nidhi looked at them...her family...the people who had stood by her even when the world was against her...
As nidhi patted nishu in his superman quilt...she looked at their photo on nishu's wall...taken when she had come home after nishu's birth...dr ashutosh holding her..his strong arm firmly around her shoulders...nidhi seemed lost..mesmerised at the memory ..but feeling v lonely...she knew the party had been good...food, decorations cake wasall perfect..but without dr ashutosh's presence..his song...nothing in their life could ever be complete...as nidhi returned to her bed..their bed...she recalled their tragic separation in kerala...but then wiped her tears as she looked at their wedding photo...the picture of a heavily pregnant nidhi...with dr ashutosh rubbing her toes...with the month old nishu...and then her favourite...the one at their sangeet...dr ashutosh holding her...a lil awkwardly ..but she loved it...them and she loved it now...it had been a long time ..since they met...the obstacles...family resistance..mallika..barbs of the society were all fresh in nidhi's mind...but she also knew that their union had been inevitable...no one ..absolutely no one could have torn such lovers apart..they were destined to be together..to be one ..for ever n ever...as nidhi lay in bed looking at the pics on the wall...and millions more that flashed in her mind..she hummed
TU BADAN HAI ..MAI HOON CHCHAAYA
TU NA HO TO MAI KAHAAN HOON..
MUJHE PYAAR KARNE WAALE
TU JAHAAN HAI MAIN WAHAAN HOON.
HUME MILNA HI THA HUMDUM ..
KISI RAAH BHI NIKALTE...
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Dr ashutosh was glad as he kept the cell back..nishu n nidhi had got the visa..so just 8 days more...his lectures were over n he went to the hospital n college only to research for his thesis...as he smiled at the breakfast table, zafar who had just come in smiled too..n asked"sir..you seem very happy...may i ask what is it..it certainly cant be the weather..."dr ashutosh laughed as he looked outside..a typically london day..overcast and dull..but there wasbright sunshine in his heart...he answered"zafar,..you are right ..its not the weather..its my wife..she n my son are goung to arrive on 11 .."!!zafar seemed elated"oh wow sir...great...tell me what arrangements need to be made...shopping...room for your son..would he like to stay here or separately where he can hang out with boys n girls of his age...you take care of madam..leave the son to me...he must be in college..i d take him to the most happening places in london...by the way is he bringing his international licence to drive..we could drive ..he n i to scotland..while you n madam can visit friends..go to museums...history..the stuff that all professors do.."!!! Ashutosh raised his eyebrow at zaffar and halted him"hey zaffar..chill..you can certainly have loads of fun with my son...but you would have to take him to amusement parks and candy stores..." zaffar seemed a lil confused but then said"well what ever he wishes..but dont you think he d be haier staying separately ..hanging out eith guys of his age..girls too..dont worry ,i d be his guardian ..sir"!! Ashutosh laughed"well zaffar i dont think he can stay separately...he has to depend on us ..for his bath..his clothes..food..."!zaffar gasped...as ashutosh cleared the suspence"you see zaffar , my son is only three years old...he is a baby"!!
"THREE...O MY GOD ...I THOUGHT HE D BE 18..20"!!dr ashutosh laughed"no, he is just three...you see.." zaffar smiled but could not control his curiosity"sir may i ask you...plz dont mind..is it your first marriage or..." ashutosh laughed"yes zaffar..its my first and last...love came late into my life you know..but when it did...it changed everything...wait till you meet my wife...nidhi...dr nidhi..."
Zaffar looked at dr ashutosh smiling to himself...he added"sure sir..i am dying to meet them..and plz let me pkay with your son..take him to candy stores..fun parks...plz sir...and from tomorrow,...operationfamily time preparation...zaffar would be at your service at 9 a.m sharp
That night...as dr ashutosh walked down the west minster bridge...and looked at the londoneye...he could almost visualise nidhi sitting in it..shouting with joy...excited as a kid..and then seeing his raised eyebrow would just put her head on his strong shoulder...n close her eyes...
Ashutosh looked at the reflection of the moon appearing from the clouds...in the ripples of thames...as he walked back...humming a melody..
MERI BAAHON ME LAJAATE JAISE TUM AAYE
BAADLON ME CHUPKE CHUPKE CHAAND CHUPP JAAYE
YE TANHAAI YEH MAI AUR TUM,..
ZAMEE BHI REH GAYEE GUMSUM...
NEELA AASMAA SO GAYA...
yes ..the beauty without nidhi seemed desolate...but ashutosh knew that the moment she stepped in...the dull frozen scenery would dazzle with life n colours...he smiled as he counted on his fingers...8 days to go..."sirf aath din..."he said to himself ...and walked on...waiting to enjoy london n europe thru nidhi's eyes...

Aaj kal paaon zameen par nahi padte mere..

Nidhi was clearing her table in the room for junior drs, she had given all the relevant case histories to dr priyanka n dr deepak,and was about to go to dr dubey to say goodbye as she would not be coming the next day..it was 9 feb n her flight was on the 11 early morning via delhi.Just as she was collecting things, in walked her friends jyothika, ahaana and thereafter dr priyanka.sharing with her the excitement of travelling abroad..each had a list of demands and nidhi laughedas she said"weight limit hoti hai flight mei..pata hai na"??and jyothika laughed n added"arre tu to business class fly karegi dr ashutosh ke sath..usme limit bahut zyaada pe hoti hai,..dont worry..bus humaare perfumes mat bhoolna.."as nidhi also laughed, they were all startled by the vicious voice of dr megha"haa...business class flights, five stars mei rehna...endless shopping...yeh sab faayde to honge hi...boss se shaadi karne ke...boss aur woh bhi dugni umr ka...wow kya baat hai..cheers"!!! As ahaana confronted her...nidhi stopped ahaana "chod de ahaana...dr dubey pareshaan ho jaayenge ..let her go..." and a defiant dr megha stormed out ...bit surprisingly nidhi felt tears stinging in her eyes...these days she came cl8se to tears v quickly...seeing her friends looking concerned..she wiped her eyes n smiled...dr priyanka came n hugged her"nidhi...tu to jaanti hai..she is a frusto..kisi ki khushi nahi dekhi jaati uss megha se...you take care of yourself...enjoy karna..khoob ..nishu bhi to excited hoga apne papa se milne ko...bus care le apni...you look v tired ..n jaded..."nidhi smiled...the previous 8 weeks or so had been a whirl wind..first dr ashutosh's preparations, then his departure followed by dr dubey's stroke...n then nishu's birthday...infact she was sorely tired after her one day trip to delhi for the visa...n the packing ...probably it was taking a toll on her...infact at times she felt ..she d just sleep in the trip...her eyes were sleep deprived and back almost splitting...but she smiled thru all this n hugged her friends back..twisting jyothika's arm when she joked good naturedly"dekhna agar mere liye london college ka dean ..suitable ho to...i dont mind"!!?
Nidhi entered dr dubey's cabin ..dr ranganath was also there.."sir, i have completed all my work..submitted all the reports to the concerned drs...may i go sir"?? Dr dubey smiled n got up.."by all means...jaao packing karo...ashutosh europe gayato saikron baar hai...per shaayad enjoy isi baar karega...bas khayaal rakhna..thand hogi kaafi...take care" nidhi smiled n said"aap bhi sir..n comvey my regards to kusum aunty...bye dr ranganath..."!!and she bent to touch dr dubey's feet...as she got up she felt strangely dizzy ..but regained her balance n no one observed...nidhi walked out..stopping n peeping in dr ashutosh's cabin...the haven of their love...her cell rang..it was dr ashutosh..."packing ker li"?? He asked ..nidhi replied"bas, ab ghar jaa rahi hoon..karoongi" ashutosh was surprised" abhi tak ghar nahi aayi..kaise hogi shopping...aur haan..zara market se do achche gifts le lena...fab india se..ya kashmir emporium se...one nice really nice shawl for mrs hudson...and a sweater n scarf for zaffar..my valet..plz " nidhi seemed a lil irritayed...why couldnt he have said earlier...she simply didnt seem to have the power to drive thru the crowds in hazrat ganj.."nidhi,..nidhi..sun rahi ho na"??repeated ashutosh..."jee...le loongi" she said ...in a tired voice...ashutosh smiled from over his laptop on which he was working..."bus less than three days...aur haan nishu ke gloves bhi lelena...aur apne bhi.."!nidhi responded with a tired smile"sab rakh loongi...ab jaane deejiye nahi to market close ho jaayega..." dr ashutosh smiled..n said"jaao...i will phone at night..."...and a fagged nidhi started her car...when her phone rang again...it was baba.."jee baba..."??"beta ghar aaja..colonel aur samdhanji kab se teri raah dekh eahe hain...aa jaldi..aur raaste se thode samose le aana...baaki sab mai organise karwa rahaa hoo,..tu bus aa jaa meri bachchi"!! Nidhi smiled as she drove..stopping at ramasrey's famous shop to pick samosa...as she looked at the shop window...the fresh dhokla seem to make her mouth water..she had never been fond of it..infact it was always dr ashutosh's favourite..but today she found it irreresistable...and told the shop keeper"aadha kg dhokla bhi...mirch ke saath..plz"...as nidhi finally reached home..she was welcomed by dadi bua saying"aaja meri bachchi...ab to bees din baad milegi...kitni kamzor ho gayi hai...hai hai..kyun nahi chod deti iss mui nakuri ko..." and nidhi sighed as she looked at her father n baba..whose eyes reflected joy...but also concern for her...baba patted her "tu to jaanti hai apni dadi bua ko..." n nidhi nodded as she yawned...while maxi brought tea samosa n dhokla...col verma smiled"arre dhokla kaun khaayega..dr ashutosh to hain nahi..."!! Nidhi replied"aaj mera hi mann ho gaya..to le aayee"!! baba seemed surprised as nidhi bit into the dhokla...armaan also came in with nishu...carrying hi in his arms..."usse kyun godi uthaate hain ab..bigad jaayega...ab big boy hai"!!armaan smiled"chinta nahi kar..bigdega to pitaayee bhi karroonga...bhai chacha hoon..koi mazaak thode hai..."!!as nidhi yawned ..col verma patted"beta tu ab so ja thodi der..phir pack karna..hum log bhi chalte hain ab...bye...ab jab tu laut ke aayegi dr ashutosh ke saath...tab airport pe milenge...ja so ja..." as nidhi looked at her father...her first friend..n confidant..she seemed grateful to him..for having understood her needs..he always did...nearly always...but dadi bua retorted"yog mai yahii ruk jaati hoon..nidhi ki madad kar doongi..akele kaise karegi meri bachchi,." baba looked at nidhi...n then at col verma..who was form"nahi bua aaj chaliye...nidhi ko sambhaalne deejiye..hum 12 13 ko aayenge dr mathir ke paas...kyun armaanji"?? N armaan said with a welcoming smile"yes dadi bua..phir mere liye ek sushil sundar kanya bhi dhoond deejiyega...ok"?? n all laughed ...as cv n dadi bua departed.patting nidhi n kissing nishu...dadi bua repeating instructions a hundred times...the family came in...nidhi almost rubbing her tired eyes...nishu ran as the land line was ringing..."mere papa ka phone hoga..."!!n as nishupicked up..nidhi knew it was dr ashutosh indeed...all smiled as nishu talked excitedly...asking questions and saying yes when ashu asked him if nidhi had been telling him about london...nishu gleefully said"lap top pe we saw..photos..queen ka bhi..."and then finally he gave the phone to nidhi" mamma..your call now"!!n nidhi laughed as she took the phone.."jee..." dr ashutosh immiediately asked..."shopping ker li jaan..gloves n gifts...achchi quality li na..." n it suddenly dawned on nidhi that she had completely forgotten about all that dr ashutosh had said...she felt embarassed n irrotated at herself first...but when she admitted that she had forgotten...n dr ashitosh reacted by saying"come on nidhi...tum hospital se ghar tak drive karne me bhool gayee...this is really too much...ab kab shop karogi..kab packing hogi..Thoda plan karo..bachchon ki tarah nahi..."hearing it...a sudden inexplicable tornado of irritation...amalgamated with fatigue...n anxiety of the pending packing...made nidhi almost snarl..."haan mai to hoon hi immature bachchi..kuch kar hi nahi paati...irresponsible..incompetent..insolent...sab kuch ...mai hi to hoon..."and the rest was lost in her incoherent sobs...dr ashutosh sat up ...shocked n perplexed...nidhi never reacted this way...he tried assuaging her"hey doc..i am sorry...sorry..plz rona band karo..plz...i feel tum thak gayee ho...so jaao...sab kal ho jaayega...kya kuch aur baat hai...problem hai kuch...skype pe aaogi..."?? Nidhi shook her head..violently..saying..."nahi...mijhe nahi aana skype pe...kal sab kuch ker doongi..."n disconnected the phone...as a bemused baba n armaan and a wide eyed nishu kept looking at what had gone wrong...with someone who was the anchor of their lives n their home...had they hurt hrr...armaan looked at baba..n then put his arm around nidhi..as she sat sobbing on the sofa chair..."hey nidhi..tu thak gayee hai bahut...jaa so ja...aaj nishu ko mai sula doonga...tu ja...aur ashu ki baat ka bura kyun maanti hai..tu to jaanti hai uski aadat hai..hukum chalaane ki...you know it...come on..uth ab..."nidhi got up...and tears still streaming from hrr face...she went into her bedroom...as armaan lifted nishu...rubbing his nose with his he said"mamma tired hai...chal aaj hum log khelenge..."..
Much later..after maxi had taken a sleeping nishu to his room..n covered him with a quilt...having had a look at nidhi..fast asleep...she came n reported to a tense looking baba"so gayeen hain...ek dum gehree neend mei...thakee lagtee hain bahut..."n baba nodded as he looked at armaan n said"armaan..zara ashu ko phone laga.."
Dr ashutosh had also been extremely worried...n guilty after a sobbing nidhi had put down his phone...as he had walked back from the research lab..to his apartment..he was agitated...at himself..why was he never able to understand how haed it must be for nidhi...being away from him...discharging duties at kgh...looking after dr dubey..singlehandedly..taking flak from dr nagpal...working at home..looking after the family..his family...he had to understand her better...after all she was only 28...as dr ashutosh absentmindedly sipped tea that mrs hudson served...his phone buzzed...it was baba..a worried ashutosh took the call.." jee baba...nidhi kaisi hai..ab..sab theek hai na"??baba nodded n said"haan..so gayee hai woh...per ashu ..thoda sainyaam rakh ...us bechari pe bahut kaam raha hai jab se tu gaya hai...hospital..ghar dr dubey ki beemaari..phir nishu ki party..delhi visit...ek dum thaki lagti hai...issi sab me bhool gayee hogi jo tu ne kaha tha...kal le aayegi...per usse aaraam chahiye..mai to suggest karoonga...wahaan bhi bahut hectic programme nahi rakhna..jitna ghoomna relaxed way mei...arre phir chale jasna..europe kaun si badi cheez hai..."...dr ashutosh sighed"jee baba..i understand...actually mai naaraaz nahi tha...per bus woh ro padi...i will take care..." baba smiled as he ran his fingers thru his beard..."beta aaj kal thodi jittery to rehti hai...thodi akeli bhi hai tere bina..khoyee khoyee see rehti hai...khair ab to aa hi rahi hai...tere paas...sambhalna usse beta..."ashutosh smiled ..understanding baba's concern..."jee baba...aap chinta nahi kariye...i will take care...aap bus apna khayaal rakhiyega..."as ashutosh sat...he reflected...was nidhi in depression..was the loss still eating into her...ashutosh seemed worried...had he dome the correct thing in coming to london..leaving her behind...was anything in his life..even half as important as nidhi...??a thoughtfull ashutosh looked at the elm trees outside...and then closing his eyes seemed to resolve..he would do everything in his power to make nidhi smile...her smile was like a thousand splendid suns in his life...
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It was a rejuvenated nidhi who had just almost completed her packing..calling dr ashutosh"kaise hain aap??naaraaz hain...i am sorry woh kal...buss mai bahut thak gayee thi...back dukh rahi thi...bahut..." dr ashutosh gulped..looking at his hands...wish he could bring her comfort...how she must have been hurting...he thought of all the nights when his large n firm hands had brought relief to her tired aching back...she had never probably recovered fully after nishu...n then the miscarriage..had wrecked her...but his thoughts of worry bordering on guilt were interrupted by nidhi...almost chirpy.."ekdum lovvvely gifts liye hain...zaffar aur mrs hudson je liye...aur mr mrs mallik ke liye bhi..aap unhe kaise bhool gaye the"?? Ashutosh smiled ...the clouds lifting...he could feel his nidhi..always thinking about everyone else except herself...he had to think of her...nidhi continued"baba ke paas sab kuch hai..cash bhi withdraw ker diya hai..cheque book to aap deke gaye the..medicines...essentials..sab kuch...mere baba aur dadi bua bhi aa jaayenge 12 ko ..baba ke paas for the week end,..." ashutosh added"now relax...aaraam karo..kuch snacks rakhne ka mann ho to u can carry...aur haan dubai mei exit instructions dhyaan se gollow karna..luggage thru n thru book karwaana...and plz plz carry the passports carefully...main yahaan heathrow pe wait karoonga tum logon ka...aur cell on kerna dubai me..try calling otherwise i will..."nidhi smiled"aap chinta nahi kariye...itti bhi irresponsible nahi hoon main...pahunch jaaoongi aapke paas..uske baad...aap jaanein..."!!dr ashutosh responded.."bye now...aur haan...brufen carry kerna flight mei..back ache ke liye..."as the call was disconnected...nidhi n dr ashutosh both at their respective ends smiled..nidhi rolling in bed...watching dilwale dulhaniya le jaayenge in bits n pieces...determined to go to all the places where the leads had . been...and dr ashutosh sat..looking at the conclusion of his thesis...but nidhi's face emerged on the screen of his mind...humming in his deep voice...
TUMHAARA INTEZAAR HAI..TUM PUKAAR LO..
DIL BEHEL TO JAAYEGA ISS KHAYAAL SE
HAAL MIL GAYAA TUMHAARA APNE HAAL SE
MUKHTSAR SI BAAT HAI..TUMSE PYAAR HAI..
TUMHAARA INTEZAAR HAI...
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Nidhi touched baba n kaka's feet ...as she n a sleepy eyed but excited nishu sat in the car with armaan at 4.30 in the morning to be driven to the airport...nidhi had double checked the passports tickets money, her credit card,cell...n yet she was a lil nervous...but as baba hugged her...he said"jaa..khoob enjoy karna..yahaan ki fikr bilkul nahi karna...main hoon na..."she put her head on his chest...feeling once again like a tiny sparrow that had built its nest in the branches of yhis banyan tree...n today it seemed tough to fly away from this protection...even if it was only a temporary flight...nishu pulled"chalo mamma...papa wait ker rahe honge..."n the car started...At the airport...armaan kissed nishu ...n put his hand on nidhi's head..."nidhi...jaaa...per ...jaldi waapas aajaana..." nidhi couldnt stop herself as she hugged him...armaan was much more to her than dr ashutosh's friend..he was her guarding angel...her friend...her sibling...her support...a man who hsd so much pain in his life but filled thevhome with so much joy n laughter...
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In london, zaffar had got the apartment arranged to perfection, a room adjoining the master bedroom had been done up for "master nishooo"as mrs hudson practised..ashutosh had instructed zaffar to stock the kitchen with indian groceries, veggies n nidhi's favourite samosas...he had shifted his clothes to one side to make space gor her aris..n churidaars...infact he had visited marks n spencers to get a lovely wine coloured coat for nidhi...and a jacket n gloves for nishu ...he had taken care to see that the wash rom had all that nidhi might need...now it was really difficult to wait..moments seemed to be crawling...ashutosh looked at his watch...nidhi must be in her international flight...by now...
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Nidhi had checked into delhi n was now ready to board the emirates flight to dubai...nishu was mesmerised seeing so many aeroplanes ..and as nidhi n he boarded they were ushered to the business class..and as nishu gleefully smiled , nidhi herself felt like a kid who had got the moon!!as they settled and nishu fiddled with the seat belt before nidhi put it forhim..the plane screeched on the runway...and as it took off , nidhi felt a strange tremor...n discomfort in her abdomen...but as the plane stabilised..the discomfort disappeared...n she began to point out to nishu the buildings looking so tiny from that height...as the airhostess gave nishu..a lovely toy aeroplane n he got busy in that...nidhi began to reflect on her long lasting desire of visiting europe finally coming true...she n europe were always a mismatch..so it had seemed..always fascinated by the tales told by col verma..seeing pics..reading books nidhi had yearned to go to the continent..but then the first trip was aborted because she chose to be with dr ashutosh recuperating from a fracture n thesecond plan ..a lonely bleak one...running away from the memories of dr ashutosh ...till things fell into place n she in ashutosh's arms...and now finally she would see westminster..n londoneye..stand atop mt titlis...n take the euro rail...and all this with dr ashutosh...as she closed her eyes...she could not help thinking..what was giving her greater joy..the fact that she was on the verge of fulfilling her long standing dream or the fact that she d be seeing her husband after 6 long n lonely weeks...nidhi looked outside...the clouds were far below...and the wide expanse of her dreams n desires extended all around..as boundlessas the blue sky...but what made that sky shine brilliantly was not the sun...yellow n bright..but the face n love of dr ashutosh..illuminating her yesterdays todays n tomorrows...nidhi smiled to herself as she recalled the song that seemed to have been written for her..
AAJ KAL PAAON ZAMEEN PAR NAHI PADTE MERE ..
BOLO DEKHA HAI KABHI TUMNE MUJHE UDTE HUE..
NEEND SI REHTI HAI HULKA SAA NASHA REHTA HAI
RAAT DIN AANKHON ME EK CHEHRA BASAA REHTA HAI..
PAR LAGI AANKHON KO DEKHA HAI KABHI UDTE HUE??
she was awakened by the airhostess for lunch...a wonderful assortment of veg cutlets, fried rice , cake n juice...but nidhi suddenly felt full...n took only one for nishu...as she fed him , he asked"mamma..tum kyun nahi kha rahi.khaao na plz ..and put a piece of cutlet in her mouth...nidhi suddenly n unexpectedly found her eyes moist...she caressed nishu's hair as he slept...she too reclined her chair and was almost as comfortable as a bed...she closed her eyes...n what emerged ion the canvass was neither mt titlis nor the london eye...but the face of dr ashutosh...raising his eyebrow...and saying"hey doc!!"

Nidhi was awakened by the air hostess as the plane was about to land at dubai...nidhi tied her seat belt..n then turned to nishu..n was sirprised to find that he had already tied his...n as nidhi asked.."kaise kiya"?? He smiled"so simple ...aise" n did it again
...As nishu n nidhi meandered to the terminal , nidhi first found about the connecting flight, got the boarding passes n found they d have to board from gate no 54..flt 4537 to london...now relieved..she found a row of vacant chairs , made nishu sit..kept her travel bag..that just had their gloves n jackets...n dialled dr ashutosh...
Dr ashutosh had been walking up n down in tension..awaiting the call...as soon as he saw nidhi.'s no, he grabbed the cell.."have you reached"??nidhi replied"jee...onward journey ke boarding pass bhi le liye...bus ab kuch khilaaoongi nishu ko..."dr ashutosh seemed relieved.."trouble kar raha hai bahut"??nidhi smiled as she hugged nishu...her eyes full of love"na..bilkul bhi nahi..he has been a very good boy...leejiye aapse baat karna chahta hai..nishu..lo papa"nishu took the phone and kissed it..nidhi could not believe..a child could feel so strongly..."papa...we r fine...plane big tha...really big,...aap kya kar rahe ho...operation"??dr ashutosh laughed"nahi beta..operation ker raha hota to aapse baat kaise karta...bolo..o.t.mei phones nahi allowed hote..."nishu scratched his hair..."o...i see..."n handed the cell to nidhi..who smiled hearing her sin talk like an adult.."nidhi...lounge me bhi kha sakte ho..you are entitled to the buffet...aur mcd hai..4 floor pe..can you find .."??nidhi smiled"aap worry nahi kariye..i will manage..but one thing..yahaan rupees bhi accept ker rahe hain..pounds bhi..n dollars bhi..so what should i pay in..i mean i have all these currencies..."??ashutosh replied patiently.."nidhi..jahaan bhi apni currency accept ho..wahaan pay in rs..otherwise $ or ok"??"jee..abhi nearly 4 hrs hain...dekhte hain..aur haan kal aayenge na heathrow pe"??dr ashutosh smiled"off course aaoonga..arrival lounge me wait karoonga...aur plz passport carefully rakhna..ok jaan"??"jee" n nidhi hung up...n checked her passports once more...
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Dr ashutosh sat smiling at nidhi's question..off course he d be there...he was counting moments to their arrival..infact he had taken care of each detail...got methi..hare chane..n maggi...he knew nidhi d like to cook for him n nishu...and how could their house be a home without maggi in it...mrs hudson could not help commenting"dr you sure love your wife a lot...your smile tells me so...she must be reaaallly nice to have you like her...you are a tough nut to crack..."and dr ashutosh almost laughed...he replied"wait till you meet her..." mrs hudson asked"what should i cook tomorrow..what does the lil boy nishhooo like"??ashutosh scratched his beard for a while and said"i feel sandwiches...of tomato n cuccumber...n potato chips...n yes plz make the wonderful souffle that you make...he will love it...n for dinner i am sure nidhi will...help you" he deliberately refrained from using "guide you" because he knew that mrs hudson was a typically stiff upper lip british housekeeper...but yes a warmth had sprung up...n she would sit once in a while n talk of her husband who died a few years back...n they had no children...
Ashutosh finished his soup n came to his bedroom...he did nt want to eat more...probably too consumed in the eagerness to have nishu...n nidhi...he looked around..nishu's room..with a floral quilt...some toys...that zaffar had shopped for..n their bedroom...wardrobe..his suits waiting to feel the silk of nidhi's kurtas against their wool...his ties probably aching to feel her fingers on them...and as he spread his hand on the vacant part of the bed...his figers could almost imagine nidhi...a sudden wave of desire swept over him...as he took off his glasses n lay...waiting for his nidhi...to walk into the apartment...n make it their home...
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Nidhi had fed nishu at the wonderful buffet in the lounge...she had herself eaten v little..the sight of food seemed to have turned her off...fatigue she thought...as she gazed at nishu..looking at the children in the attractive shops...she tapped his head"shopping"??n the mother n son entered the shopping arcade of the terminal...jewellery did not interest nidhi...she always believed n said"kisiki ek pyaar bhari nazar..duniya ke sab solitaires se zyaada keemti aur khoobsoorat hoti hai..."she smiled as she entered into disney studio ...with a mesmerised nishu...he was dazed at his favourite characters all around..on walls...clothes..bags...but nishu was a real darling...he never troubled her for anything...n when she asked"kya lega beta"??nishu just picked up a colourful ball with cartoons on it..nidhi felt overwhelmed..as she bought a bag n a tee for him...as she handed him the bag..with the tee inside...he just hugged her n said"thank you mamma..." as mother n son waled out...nidhi's gaze fell on a beautiful pink frock..with lovely motiffs of minny mouse...it d have fitted...a girl of 6 to 8 months...nidhi tried to look away...her eyes brimming with tears...as nishu asked"kya hua mamma..."??nidhi quickly wiped her face n smiled"kuch nahi baby...aankh me kuch chalaa gaya tha...chalo ab lets go...next flight...papa ke paas jaana hai na"??n nishu quickly held her hand.."yes mummy..jaldi se...zooom" n his left hand moved lije a supersonic jet...as they walked...nidhi giving a last lingering look to the frock...n recalling what could have been..but was not to be...she seemed to hum..."kuch sapne jeevan bhar saath saath chalte hain..."

As nidhi n nishu settled in their seats..n the plane took off...on its 8 hr journey to london..nishu seemed sleepy ..nidhi patted him...as his eyelids began to droop...and then she..she too tried to sleep but could not...in her mind flashed the cute pink frock...it seemed to call her...she had so wanted to buy it...but for whom...??nidhi made an effort to think of other things...yes she was finally going to europe...her long standing dream was being fulfilled...but what enthralled her more...was that she d be meeting her husband after 6 long weeks...she had missed him..terribly so..at each moment...while eating lunch alone in the canteen..or seeing the parking slot marked'DR ASHUTOSH' vacant...or whenever she cooked hare chane for baba n nishu...but she had missed him the most at night...in their bedroom...when she would keep teling him about her day..while she tidied the wardrobe..kept the jug of water..and he d raise an eye brow..or look up fromhis book that he d be invariably reading..she missed massaging his tired shoulders...after a long surgery...she missed him in their bed...no..not the love making...but the simple act when..he d put his left arm around her n draw her to him...n she would keep her head on his chest...his fingers caressing her long hair...their heart beats resonating ...till they both fell into sleep...nidhi smiled...as her eyes again felt moist...
Nidhi was woken by a strong urge to throw up...n she rushed to the wash room...as she emerged feeling drained...she requested the air hostess for a coke...and had a sudden desire to eat...she asked for a snack...nidhi was too tired to think...she knew she had overworked herself...so she thought,...After about a couple of hrs, meals were served..veg paneer chilli, chow mein n tarts...as nidhi n nishu relished the meal...nidhi could not help thinking what dr ashutosh d have done had he been served chinese food!!!
Nishu was feeling a lil landlocked..so nidhi told him he could walk around...he soon befriended the couple adjacent to them...british drs...almost of dr ashutosh's age..and finally nishu slept...and the plane flew in the darkness...across time zones..nidhi saw the route on the screen in front of her seat..they were flying over greece n bulgaria...4 hrs more to go...she flipped with the remote but did not feel like watching any movie...she was waiting each minute..each nano second to be with dr ashutosh...the centre of her universe...the darkness outside did not depress or scare her for she knew that she was flying to the brilliant sun that lit up her world...
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Dr ashutosh awoke early..at 5,30..nidhi was due to land at 10.30 ..his work was complete..he had already submitted his dessertation with the ROYAL BOARD OF NEURO SURGEONS n he knew it was only a formality that he d be awarded doctorate in techniques of cerebral surgery...his heart today was else where..flying with his son...waiting for his wife..the love of his life..he looked into the darkness outside...but smiled as he knew light was around the corner...when his mornings would again begin with adrak wali chaai ..shared with nidhi..from the same cup..n his breakfast would have buttered toasts...he looked at his watch..it was 6.30...and he got up to take out his clothes choosing his tie..one last time...for he knew from tomorrow it will be nidhi doing it all..taking over his life..his home..his very existence...
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As the descent began and nidhi could see a weak sunshine , she showed nishu the first sights of london...the harbour..and the buildings..tiny as they seemed..."mamma..hum queen lizaabeth se bhi milenge"??n nidhi laughed"no..buddhu..queen sabse thode milti hai..but we d see her palace..buckinghum palace.."nishu mused n then added"where is papa..mujhe dikh nahi rahe..."as he looked at the traffic below...n nidhi knew he was dying to meet his father... the plane landed on heathrow..nidhi took the travel bag..n nishu his tiny disney one and they emerged...as nidhi had her first breath of london air...her heart longed for dr ashutosh...
It was a long wait for luggage and she texted dr ashutosh..unable to reach him on call...he texted back"WAITING IN THE LOUNGE..:)..nidhi called home ..baba picked up"baba..mai nidhi..hum land ker gaye...aap kaise hain"??.."beta mai..theek hoon...khayal rakhna...thand hogi...nishu kaisa hai...khoob ghoomna..enjoy karna..aur relax bhi"..."jee baba"nidhi rushed as she saw their suit cases on the conveyor belt...lifting them with an effort , she loaded them on the trolley..for which she had to fish for a coin to have it..dr ashutosh had forgotten to tell her that coins had to be dropped to unlock trolleys...nidhi found it tough to manage the trolley with one hand...so she lifted nishu n made him sit on the begs ..n seemed to enjoy the ride..looking at the crowd..searching for his father...nidhi made her way out after getting the passports at the emigration..her eyes scanning the crowd for that one face ..the only one that she wanted to see...
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Dr ashutosh had been waiting impatiently with zaffar..for the last one and a half hour...his anxious eyes looking for that vibrant face...and he ..from his height of 6 feet 1 inch saw nidhi..as soon as she meandered into the lounge...yes it was she in her black churidaar kurta...and a dark green sweater...dr ashutosh could spot this face in a million strong crowd...and a smile aroee in his heart...and came to his lips n eyes...his face had smiled this true smile after what had seemed to be ages...and as he looked at her...nidhi almost knew instinctively..he was there...she felt his gaze..n as she spotted him..she pointed him to nishu...who wriggled down n ran into the open arms of his father...dr ashutosh hugged n lifted him up in his arms..kissing his cheeks...and then looked at his world...nidhi..extending his hand...firm n strong..nidhi's heart almost skipped a beat...as she gave her hand into his...both frozen for a moment...realising that they were together...complete...
Zaffar seemed astounded..he knew that dr ashutosh had a 3 yr old son..but he didnt know his wife was a young girl...he had been looking at all indian women of about 40 who had come out with a child...but nidhi ..simply disarmed him..
Dr ashutosh introduced "nidhi..meet zaffar..my life line in london..n she is my wife...dr nidhi..."as nidhi extended her hand..zaffar did a namaste n surprised them with a"london me swaagat hai aapka..."!!ashutosh remarked'"arre wwaah zaffar..main nahi jaanta tha ki hindi bol lete ho..."zaffar smiled.."sir..woh kya kehte hain...kahin bhi rahein..lekin dil hai hindustani"!! Ashutosh made nishu wear his gloves n jacket n nidhi tried to slip into hers...he smiled and shook his head..as he saw nidhi struggling..she was always a mess with gloves n laces..he smiled n helped her..looking at her face...trying to read it...she was smiling...but ashutosh had a gut feeling ..that there was something...nidhi seemed different..in these 6 weeks...
Once in the car..nishu between nidhi n ashutosh in the back seat was telling all, that nidhi n baba had taught him about england..n zaffar clapped ..impressed"waah nishu..tum to encyclopaedia ho..great"..n as it was a 40 minute drive..nishu told ashutosh all about home..their flight..shopping at dubai..n dr ashutosh..MBBS, MD, FRCS,listened intently to his three year old son..a son ,in whose twinkling eyes he saw his own dreams taking shape..in whose smile he saw his own desires being fulfilled...when ashutosh held nishu's lil hand ..he was not only holding his son..but also his own hand ..because by giving nishu a happy ,secure n joyous childhood,dr ashutosh was erasing all blemishes of his own..by showering him with love ,he was filling his own crevasces of loneliness..in his son he was reliving a childhood...which in real life he never had...as he bent to caress his hair...sighing at the sneaking thought of what it would have felt to hold his daughter as well...suddenly zaffar spoke "see west minster..."and nishu looked up...as they drove on the bridge..nishu looked at papa..n murmured..thames!! N then ashutosh showed him the london eye...nishu clapeed"wow..mamma ne kaha hai ..ride pe chalenge..."dr ashutosh smiled"yes pucca..monday ko..pata hai ..wahaan se poora london dikhta hai.."n nishu looked wide eyed"oh my god...poora london..."dr ashutosh spoke "dekho nidhi...london eye...dekho..."and as he looked towards nidhi..not responding to him...he saw nidhi fast asleep...her head on the door...dr ashutosh smiled...though a frown of concern did cross his face...and then he lifted nishu onto his lap n shifted towards nidhi..extending his right arm and drawing her firmly to him...her head resting on his shoulder...it seemed the loneliness that he had been experiencing had suddenly disappeared..everything seemed to be in its right place ..perfect...he looked outside at the streets of london..the streets that he knew almoat as well as the lines of his palm...but today they seemed different...more vibrant..more lively...london seemed almost home..n it was because nidhi..his nidhi was with him...he knew every heart needed an anchor...n his anchor was nidhi...she who had lit up his life..with her smiles..who had flown as a butterfly into his seemingly autumnal forest...and then the hues of spring...that followed...ashutosh caressed nidhi...and as she trembled...he knew there was something...was it fatigue...or...???his heart almost stopped for a while...he tried to look at her face...but her hair..long dark n black...covered her...and he drew her closer...looking at london..almost figuring his own lonely figure walking on the pavement...dreary...n bitter..n today london was seeing him..with his hands full...literally with nishu n nidhi...drawing nidhi even closer...feeling her heart beat with his...his lips against her hair..his hand around her waist..closing his eyes..he savoured the moment...the moment for which he had yearned...he wanted time to stand still...as they crossed the magnificent westminster..n the london eye...he knew he was at peace for he had found his talisman ...nidhi...his light in the forest of life...and as the car drove on...dr ashutosh hummed an old kishore kumar number...
TUM BIN JAAOON KAHAAN
KI DUNIYA MEI AAKE
KUCH NA PHIR CHAAHAA SANAM
TUMKO CHAH KE...