AshNi Bas AshNi..Story So Far..NO COMMENTS PLEASE - Page 9

Nidhi was distraught the whole day at the thought of leaving nishu behind ..but though she tried to talk to dr ashutosh, he seemed v v busy, finally even at the end of the day when she knocked at his cabin n peeped inside, he was busy discussing issues with dr dubey n giving instructions to ranganath, seeing her , he said"excuse me sir"n came out, he held her fingers n said"nidhi, mujhe der hogi..aaj poora din surgeries thi, ab admin dekhna hai...der hogi..tum jaao, pack ker dena , mere liye bhi..aur haan auto se nahi, taxi se jaana..samjhi"??he looked into her eyes n was gone the next moment just as she tried to speak..nidhi had no option n returned home in a taxi..as instructed by the boss..
At home, nishu had gone on his pram ride with baba n as nidhi freshened up n began to pack for dr ashutosh, three suits, grey, blue n cream, shirts ties n accessories, her thoughts kept meandering to nishu, how d he sustain without her..for a full night n two days..what if he cried..??n didnt eat?? Nidhi sighed as she began to pack her stuff in another suit case, three sober saris, two churidaar sets, nighties ,...just as she was done, nishu ran in "mamma mamma"n hugged her tight..nidhi seemed driven to tears as she hugged n kissed him..n then made him sit on the bed..looking at his naughty smile n listening to his non stop baby talk..just then dr ashutosh entered , looking tired n jaded but smiled at seeing nishun nidhi n said"mai bus abhi aayaa nahaa ke"n nishu smiled, he had got programmed to the fact that his parents d hold him only after they had freshened up..as dr ashutosh emerged, bathed n fresh, nishu caught his leg, refusing to let go.."pappa godi...godi"ashutosh smiled as he pushed back all thoughts n lifted nishu up..into his warm hug..n came into the hall.baba n armaan were chatting as nidhi got tea n rolls, as ashutosh fed nishu, n talked to armaan about the ceremony at delhi, he observed that nidhi was not eating n seemed a lil lost...leaving nishu to play with armaan , who washiis favourite companion these days, teaching him all naughty tricks, ashutosh returned to the bedroom n nidhi followed, he was packing his stetho, bp instrument and nidhi's emergency kit...nidhi entered, ashutosh raised his eyebrow"kya baat hai nidhi..u seem lost"??nidhi was quiet..n then said,playing with the neck of ashu's tee"is it necessary for me to come...nishu kaise rahega...mere bina"??ashu looked at her n put his hands on her shoulders,"tum ye faisla mujh pe chod do...kya itna bhi huq nahi mera...aur nishu aaraam se reh lega baba aur armaan ke saath...but mai tumhe nahi chod ke jaa saqta, that is final..ab chalo..lets play with nishu..chalo..na"n he almost pulled nidhi out of the bedroom back to the hall..where nishu was running around armaan..n finally caught him..as armaan picked him up n kissed his cheeks..as nidhi looked on..armaan looked up to nidhi..n read the apprehension in her eyes..he smiled n came to hold nidhi.."hey nidhi, tujhe kyu chinta hai..kya vishwaas nahi hai mujh pe..??bachche nahi hain mere..zindagi ne mauqua nahi diya..per i promise mai nishu ka bahut khayaal rakhoonga..ek chance to de...plz"nidhi looked at armaan ..n then hugged him ,as a bemused nishu looked on!! As nidhi held nishu , sitting on the sofa, she kissed him again ..n spoke"baby, baba aur chacha ka kahaa manna, dont be naughty..be a good boy..mamma papa jaldi aa jaayenge.."baba took nishu n said"hum khoob masti karenge nishu..khoob khelenge..aur shopping bhi chalenge.."ashutosh relaxed as he saw nidhi smile..finally,baba looked at ashu..n raised his eyebrow ...n ashu responded the same way...nishu seeing them raised his eyebrow too n nidhi n armaan laughed.."dekh nidhi dekh, bilkul ashu jaisa lag raha hai..dekh"n nidhi hugged nishu..Ashutosh got up n said"chalte hain baba,subah 5 baje niklenge aur parson raat ..midnight tak laut aayenge..aap sambhaaliyega...sab kuch..armaan plz tu bhi"armaan patted ashu"meri jaan yeh bhi kehne ki baat hai kya..maine to tujhepaala posa hai to tera beta kya cheez hai"!!n baba pulled his ear"achcha armaan tu n pala ashu ko...to main aur heera man kya jhak maarte the"?? N all laughed!!
In the bedroom , nidhi was watching ashutosh tickle lil nishu..n he bursting into laughter..nidhi sat closeby, watching a fulfilled n relaxed ashutosh play with his son..just as she began to get up, ashu held her hand,"kahaan jaa rahi ho"??nidhi stopped..n the next moment nishu in ashu's lap was kissing her...and ashu hugging her...nidhi smiled..her world seemed complete,.now the only thing she wanted was their daughter...though she d be happy with a son also but she knew it d bea daughter..for sure...nishu pulled at her gown, and showed his fingers..nidhi smiled n spread his fingers as ashu watched mesmerised , nidhi folding nishu's fingers,"yeh baba ka, yeh papa ka, yeh chacha ka, ye mamma ka aur yeh ..nishu ki lil baby sister ka..."n nishu clapped as he hid his head in nidhi's lap, ready to be patted to sleep...nidhi patted him taking longer than usual as dr ashutosh checked his things,..nidhi had packed everything, perfect as usual..as nishu went to sleep, with ashutosh busy in his keynote address, nidhi got up n carried him to bed...and as she was returning, she bumped into ashutosh,he held her..arms firmly around her waist..now with a swell.."kyun uthaya..mai to aa hi raha tha "nidhi smiled n replied"pata hai..per mai sulana chahti thi aaj..."then she looked at dr ashutosh.."aap chinta nahi kariye, sab pack kar diya hai,.i pod charger, medical dvd, everything that you may need"ashutosh held her.."pata nahi tumhare bina mera kya hota.."nidhi wrinkled her nose n asked"itne saal kaise zinda rahe..mere bina"??ashu held her, his hand caressing her back"zinda kahaan tha..bas saans le raha tha..zindagi kya hoti hai..yeh to tumne sikhaya mujhe"!n nidhi nestled close to him..as he helped her into the bed, putting the comforter n kissed her , saying"so jaao, mujhe zuroori padhna hai"nidhi nodded n closed her eyes...dreaming of their trip...their life..their children...nidhi was drifting into sleep when ashutosh finally comoleted his work n came to bed, taking off his spechs, he recalled how his trips earlier used to be lonely,with no one to share what he wanted to...no excitement to get back home to..but now he had nidhi...to share his thoughts with..n nishu to come back home to...n then in 6 months there was going to arrive another bundle of joy...ashutosh smiled as he saw the regular breathing of nidhi...he put his cheek on her baby bump n whispered"hey baby..papa is waiting...my lil doll.."then as he caressed nidhi's hair , he suddenly recalled something n got up, opened his wardrobe...

In the morning, as nidhi got ready , ashutosh went to see nishu sleeping..as he was about to kiss him, he felt nidhi'ss hand.."nahi kariye, uth jaayega..kahi roya to..mai nahi jaa paaoongi.."ashu bit his lip...indeed it was tough to leave nishu behind...but then he smiled thinking of armaan n baba ..he could imagine how they d indulge nishu..pamper him...nidhi came to their room, as ashutosh put on his coat n adjusted his tie..they came out, baba blessed both..n armaan smiled"jaao, aur enjoy bhi karna..kyunki hum to yahaan pe bahut masti karne waale hain.."ashu smiled and the two left..
At the airport, nidhi sat as ashutosh attended to calls n confirmed their arrival time..suddenly nidhi felt him next to her.."bore ho gayee...delhi me you will get to meet top surgeons..its going to be really great..two papers are coming up.."nidhi seemed low"mai..to bus ek junior doctor hoon..i dunno if i d understand...they might feel i was not required'"ashu smiled benevolently, held nidhi's hand and cleard all doubts"jaan, wahaan tum as a dr nahi..meri biwi ki haisiyat se jaa rahi ho..n you are required wherever i go...let everyone know that..also..is age me koi frcs nahi hota..you are an upcoming doctor...dekhna aajse 25 saal baad..tum conferences pe jaaya karogi..aur main bachche sambhala karoonga..i mean unke gorl friends boy friends sambhala karoonga"!!!

As nidhi smiled, their flight was annonced and ashutosh n nidhi walked to the plane, ashutosh had again booked business class n as nidhi came, he made her sit at the window seat, knowing she just loved to gaze at the skies..as ashutosh helped her put the seat belt, the airhostess came with breakfast, nidhi had no desire to eat...during the take off, ashutosh held her..putting his hand on her ear n drawing her close..as the plane steadied, nidhi asked ashutosh if she could come to the aisle seat..ashutosh was surprised..nidhi mumbled"bas darr lag raha hai..."ashutosh smiled as they exchanged the seats...n nidhi slowly drifted into sleep, as ashutosh sipped tea n read the news paper, not failing to glance at nidhi..was she feeling unwell??as the plane touched down, nidhi seemed to wake up with a start as dr ashutosh held her..thru the landing..after deplaning,n getting theor suit cases , they were recieved by the representative of the conference n escorted to the car, awaiting them.As soon as they sat, nidhi dialled home"baba hum log pahunch gaye...nishu kaisa hai..roya to nahi..."ashutosh smiled..he knew the answer..nidhi disconnected the phone n smiled at ashutosh"theek hai..nahaa raha hai..armaanji nehla rahe hain..."
After a 30 minutes drive, the car entered taj mansingh..n as dr ashutosh completed the check in , nidhi strolled in the lobby..a little dazed..looking at the huge chandelier..n then standing outside the mehrasons jewellery outlet..gaze fixed at a pair of pearl n diamond tops..but the tag said, 1 lac only..as nidhi looked away, suddenly feeling the familiar touch"kya dekh rahi ho..kuch lena hai"??asked dr ashutosh..nidhi smiled n shook her head.."nahi bus aapka wait kar rahi thi..its a lovely hotel...mai pehle kabhi itni achchi jagah nahi aayee...'"ashu smiled as he drew her along n thought..rather wished he could take nidhi out more often..she was so young..enjoyed all the small pleasures..but then motherhood...was he burdening her??he seemed to be lost as they came to the elevator, n nidhi asked"which floor"??he smiled n pressed 10, from the lift , they were chaperoned to the luxury suite..a huge bedroom, a study..and a toilet with a jaccuzzi..nidhi seemed mesmerised..trying out everything like a child..as dr ashutosh just sat n looked at her...finally asking"nidhi..breakfast..room ya restaurant"??nidhi yawned n said"yenhi..room me"ashutosh ordered over the phone as nidhi unpacked..hung his coats n pants, her saris...n then suddenly had an urge to throw up..leaving the clothes she rushed to the toilet..renching her stomach..dr ashutosh quickly rushed to hold her as she kept throwing up..till she could no more and ashutosh washed her..carrying her to the bed,as he looked at her with a sharp clinical eye, nidhi opened her eyes.."i am starving dr ashutosh..."ashutosh smiled..and v soon the breakfast was laid as nidhi devoured aloo parantha while ashutosh stuck to juice n toast, wanting to keep light.."better lag raha hai..."?nidhi nodded at ashutosh's question n yawned..."aaahhh maza aa gaya..."n ashutosh could not help smiling at the changing faces of his child woman..autumnal a moment back,..n now colourful as the spring..ashutosh contd "award ke baad, bore hone lago to room me aa jaana, lunch pe milenge..ok"??nidhi nodded as ashutosh began to get ready..cream suit..white shirt..n he pulled out a red tie..the one nidhi had gifted him long back...nidhi seemed surprised.."yeh tie to maine nahi pack ki thi..."ashutosh smiled as he adjusted the knot.."yeh tie maine pack ki..bahut special hai mere liye..."nidhi smiled"yeh pehnenge..award ke liye...that one is better..."ashutosh stopped nidhi as she got up to get the other tie..."mai yehi pehnoonga...the first colour of my rainbow..."n he bent to kiss nidhi full on her lips...time seemed to stand still...
KUCH NA KAHO..KUCH BHI NA KAHO..
KYA KEHNA HAI..KYA SUN NA HAI..
MUJHKO PATA HAI..TUMKO PATA HAI..
SAMAY KA YEH PAL RUK SA GAYA HAI..
time ..life seemed to bow to this v special couple..divided by a generation but united by their deep love...

Dr ashutosh adjusted his red tie,n wore his polished shoes as nidhi draped the natural colour tusser with a crimson border around herself, put sindoor and wore the solitaires that dr ashutosh had gifted her...around her neck, she had her most beautiful n sacred ornament...really close to her heart..the mangalsutra,.she still recalled the look in dr ashutosh's eyes as he had put it around her neck the first time in the mandap...n then in the hospital after nishu was born..nidhi got up n wore her comfortable sandles..n looked elegant..with the stunning dr ashutosh..
Dr ashutosh got up, n said"ho gayaa, chalein"??so characteristic of him...nidhi followed him , locking the door n giving the magnetic card to dr ashutosh.The venue of the ceremony today was the ashoka hall at the hotel,as dr ashutosh entered, he was greeted with a flurry of hi n hellos, surrounded by his colleagues n juniors from india n london,..there were also some of his seniors..He shook hands n stood surrounded by well wishers n friends, when a dr asked"well dr ashutosh, we are waiting to meet your better half..whom you found rather late in life...where is she"??It now suddenly struck ashutosh...where was nidhi..as he looked around, he saw her, sitting quietly in one of the back rows...leaving him alone with his glory..he said"excuse me plz"n went to nidhi,touching her on the shoulder he said"aao na, tumhe milwata hoon sabse..."n as nidhi stood up, he escorted her back to the drs, n introduced"friends, this is my wife..dr nidhi ashutosh"n almost immediately nidhi was shaken hands with, introductions made, dr bajaj, dr sahni,dr vinny from lindon, dr mayank n dr sonia singh from u.s n dr keert from australia,,there were dr joshi,dr khare dr vashishth from delhi..n all knew ashutosh from a long time..nidhi shook hands, wished all n addressed them as"sir or mam"!dr bajaj held nidhi's hand n said"on behalf of all friends of ashutosh, i welcome you into the circle..its a pleasure to meet you.."nidhi felt more relaxed,dr sahni poked an elbow at dr ashitosh n said"ashutosh , you have proven der aaye, durust aaye..what a match..god bless you"nidhi seemed at home now..as they inquired about the family n nidhi answered"we have a son..ateet, he is nearly an year n a half..."n ashutosh joined in"n now we are expecting to complete our family with our second child..hopefully a daughter ..in 6 months..."everyone smiled n quite a few blessed nidhi...there was not a single snide remark about their age gap..his friends seemed genuinely happy..just as they wished to chat on, annoncements were made for drs to sit,the organiser ushered nidhi to the first row, where she sat on the sofa marked"mrs ashutosh mathur", while dr ashutosh went to be on the dias.
The president arrived on the dot n all stood up, he delivered a short but effective speech on the ethics that drs should preserve n then said"with great pride, i annonce this year's dr b.c. roy medal to dr ashutosh mathur...the dr of the year...dr ashutosh , with his endeavours in bringing relief to the rich n poor alike, has done us proud indeed, plz come dr ashutosh"n as ashutosh stood up, the entire fraternity stood up, clapping for him..dr ashutosh walked to the president, shook hands as the prez put a shawl around his shoulders n awarded him the certificate n medal...ashutosh accepted with all humility n was invited to say a few words...as he moved to the mike, his eyes were fixed on nidhi...his nidhi..her eyes filled with joy n pride...
Dr ashutosh took the mike, as all sat to listen in pin drop silence.
"HONOURABLE MR PRESIDENT, N FRIENDS, I AM TRULY HUMBLED N HONOURED TO RECIEVE THIS AWARD..THE VERY NAME OF DR B C ROY INVOKES REVERENCE , FOR HE WAS EVERYTHING THAT A DR SHOULD BE,.
FOR THIS, I AM THANKFUL, DEEPLY THANKFUL TO MY FATHER..DR SAGAR MATHUR, WHO PICKED ME UP FROM NOWHERE N MADE ME WHAT I AM TODAY...THIS ONE IS FOR YOU BABA,I WOULD ALSO MENTION MY DEAR FRIEND ARMAAN MALLICK WITHOUT WHOM I D NOT HAVE SURVIVED LIFE...N LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST, MY WIFE,DR NIDHI, WHOSE UNENDING PATIENCE N UNFLINCHING SUPPORT N DEDICATION HAS ENABLED ME TO FOCUS ON MY JOB..THE JOB OF TREATING N CURING PEOPLE...THANK YOU"as dr ashutosh sat back on his seat,there were loud claps n drs around patted nidhi...nidhi seemed lost in this sudden deluge of glory...she was always happy in the reflected glory of ashutosh...n there was dr ashutosh, his eyes brimming with joy reflected from nidhi's eyes...n his thoughts with baba...who had lifted him from a garbage dump...to change his life forever...
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At lucknow, in mathur niwaas, baba, armaan n kaka were sitting n watching t.v..as ashutosh said those words, baba's eyes turned moist...as kaka brought sweets, armaan, his voice choking with emotion said"nishu , dekh papa..."n nishu clapped, jumping around..n the phones began to ring, col verma, dadi bua,solankis, dr dubey...anji, the list seemed unending..
Armaan hugged nishu, holding him close..n then said"chal nishu...aaj celebrate karte hain...baba, dadi bua ko bulate hain col verma ke saath..kyu nishu khelega nana se"??n as baba said"ha haan kyu nahi"armaan dialled..
Then he took nishu to the nursery, opening his wardrobe , he asked"bataa, ab kya pehnega...achcha ye red tees aur yeh black shorts..kya lagega meri jaan...aur chal tujhe dark glasses kharedwaata hoon...ekdum heart throb lagega..."n nishu smiled.."chacha.."as armaan hugged him again, called his export house to sayhe d be available on phone but wouldnt come for two days..."kyunki mujhe mere nishu ko dekhna hai...masti maarni hai...yipeee"n nishu also ran shouting"pipeee"
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In the ashoka hall,as the prez left, and dr ashutosh came down , he was mobbed again , congratulations all around,people wanting photos with him..juniors vying for a hand shake..it was a good 45 mins after that the party broke for lunch, whichwas to be a personal affair, n then meet for dinner at the "sarovski"the global cuisine restaurant at taj, ...ashutosh made his way to nidhi, it was 2 , he knew she must be hungry, he stood next to her..holding out his hand,"chalein..."nidhi beamed n got up...putting his hand around her,..they came to "machaan"the multi cusine restaurant of taj,n as they settled, ashutosh asked"lets order,..kya logi...indian ya chinese...pizza"??nidhi smiled..."nahi indian...i want navratan korma n daal..bus"ashutosh seemed surprised"but why ..ye to tum nahi khaati,.kabhi"nidhi blushed..."aap bhool rahe hain shayad...i am pregnant..."dr ashutosh..smiled a slow smile...looking at nidhi...her changing form n life..n how beautifully she was adjusting to it...he took her hand"yes, i know...tumhari pasand badal rahi hai...humaari baby ko yeh chahiye shaayad..."nidhi laughed"yes, ye bhi papa pe jaa rahi hai apne..."ashutosh called the restaurant manager as nidhi ordered navratan korma, daal n bhindi masala with naan..n salad..and as they waited for the food, nidhi said"baat to kar leejiye ghar..baba se"ashutosh smiled, how nidhi always thought of everything...he dialled n talked..to baba, who could barely say beyond..."a job well done my son..."n then armaan shouting"chaa gaya mari jaan"followed by dadi bua, kaka n cv...ashutosh wanted to hear nishu..as he came , he said"nishu..oapa hu..kaisa hai,."??n nidhi could hear nishu's blabber"papppa..papppa'"as armaan took the phone n said"ekdum khush hai...chinta nahi kar..abhi dadibua ko pareshaan kar raha hai..."as ashutosh offered the phone to nidhi, she declined..she couldnt bear to hear nishu..n not hold him...ashutosh bit his lip...it was not easy to fathom a mother's heart...ashutosh's thoughts were cut short as food arrived n they began to eat, ashu taking great care that nidhi was eating enough and as he took relish in daal makhani, his cell rang and as he began to speak, he coughed violently..in a bout..a shocked nidhi rushed around giving him water n rubbing his back..not bothered that others were glaring...n smiling...ashutosh settled..n nidhi was angry"kum se kum ,khana to kha liya kariye..shanti se.."ashutosh patted her hand"dont worry, theek hoon main...kuch nahi hua..."nidhi looked away , trying not to show her tears...but as he held her hand, turning the engagement ring on her finger, she looked into his eyes"aapko..zara bhi kuch hota hai..to meri jaan nikal jaati hai...n you know it..aap jaante hain.."ashutosh kept caressing her hand to pacify her...n after signing the cheque, they came into the lobby,"ab kya mann hai...shaam tak free hain..kahi chalna hai"??nidhi pouted"nahi..yahi baithte hain thodi der..phir i want to sleep...neend aa rahi hai"ashutosh knew her preggy siestas...he replied'theek hai, mai bus hospital me phone kar loon..just to check"..nidhi shook her head n smiled..she knew you could take dr ashutosh out of kgh but you could not take kgh out of dr ashutosh...
As dr ashutosh talked, walking in the lobby, hand in his trouser po ket, looking majestic...people admiring him ..the dr of the year..as they went past...nidhi was watching all this from her sofa n felt greatly elated , proud, satisfied...not because he was a successful dr..that he always was but because he was a happy man..contented ...to the core..n with this daughter...nidhi knew ,all his desires d be fulfilled..she smiled...but then gave an exasperated look as dr ashutosh seemed to be running kgh from delhi..and she got up..n her feet took her to the jewellery outlet again...those tops seemedto captivate her..but they were v v expensive..at her father's home though she had never been deprived of anything, such fineries were out of question...both she n anji used to wear costume jewellery...would it be right to ask dr ashutosh...she knew he d never refuse him...nidhi turned around...trying to take her mind away...n saw dr ashutosh gazing at her..intently..n then he exclaimed"kuch lena hai to bolo...window shopping se tang nahi aa jaati tum"??and before nidhi could say anything, he was taking her to the suite..arm firmly around her waist...

In the room ,dr ashutosh slumped on to the sofa as nidhi took off her sari, throwing her nightie on her shoulder she stepped into the jaccuzzi,she struggled with the taps..finally crying out to dr ashutosh to help her, he came in smiling, did it in a minute as nidhi slipped in..seeming to enjoy, while dr ashutosh went into the shower cubicle...as he emerged,he saw nidhi almoat asleep, he switched off the jacuzzi n drew her...out of her slumber.."doobne ka iraada hai kya??chalo sone.."he slipped her nightie on her n got her to bed,as she was deep in sleep..lost in dreams...as the smile on her face showed...ashu brushed her hair away from her face n smiled..knowing the lovely moments nidhi was dreaming of...

Ashutosh was awakened from his sleep by nidhi's touch...the feel of her lips on his throat..he turned to her...only to realise that she was trying to awaken him to have tea...ashutosh blinked n looked around as nidhi put his spechs on him..n he saw..it was6 in the evening..n nidhi was fresh..he could see her blue blouse beneath the gown...as she gave him tea..."kuch khaayenge kya..."??"na..but tumhe mann hai to..mangwa lo"nidhi looked wistfully.."ghar pe snacks kha rahe honge baba..nishu armaanji..."ashu put his arms around her..n whispered.."bas..kal to pahunch jaayenge..hum..ghar waapas..".."jee..ghar..kitna yaad aata hai..jab mai chali gayee thee..gusse me..to bahut yaad aata tha ghar..."ashu murmured"mujhe to ghar tumne hi diya..."nidhi contd."aur ab to humaara ghar khushiyon se jhoom uthega..jaante hain dr ashutosh, delivery ke baad..you must get nishu..aur hum chaaron ki photo zuroor khinchiyega...chaahe mai kisi bhi haalat me hoon..."nidhcould feel ashutosh breathe in sharply..as she put her arms around him..n hummed..quite out of tune"yeh tera ghar..yeh mera ghar, kisi ko dekhna ho gar..to pehle aake maang le teri nazar..meri nazar.."n dr ashutosh pulled her close..kissed her on her nose n said..."thank you nidhi...mere ghar..meri duniya me rang bharne ke liye,..,"
Dr ashutosh wore his dark grey suit, light blue shirt n his favourite striped tie...as nidhi wore her blue silk..plain with a shade of skyblue on the pallu, n applied a lil lipstick...she looked beautiful...simple but resplendant...pregnancy suited her...observed ashutosh..as he put the buttons of his cuff.
As dr ashutosh n nidhi entered the banquet, there was a buzz of activity..dr keerti, dr sahni, vashishth n others came n began to chat...dr sahni was impressed to know that nidhi was taking rural trips..dr keerti addedaffectionately,"nidhi , dont you feel..you should have done your p.g. before kids..now your career would be on the back burner for the next 5 years...nidhi guzra waqt nahi aataa waapas...tajurbe se keh rahi hoon"nidhi...saw dr ashutosh..that look of apprehension n guilt on his face...as he tried to camouflage it..nidhi smiled confidently n replied"mam...aap badi hain mujhse..so i am sure aapka tajurba hai...but mai feel karti hoon..ki hume..mujhe..ek ghar..ek family ki zyaada chaah hai...career can wait..but kids cant...aur waise bhi ek ghar me do do overqualified drs...nahi chahiye...i am happy being just an m.b.b.s."dr keerti hugged nidhi..."i wish..mujh me tumhare jitni clarity hoti..."dr sahni nudged"agar tumhe ashutosh jaisa pati milta..to tum bhi career chod deti.."nidhi came to dr keerti's rescue.."sir, maine career choda nahi hai..i treat n work as a general practitioner but i am not keen at studies...""though, she got a high rank in mbbs n topped internship..."said dr ashutosh..as his froends looked at nidhi in awe..dr vashishth chipped in"nidhi tum apna clinic kyu nahi khol leti..alag"??"kyunki sir..i got all i have ..all i ever wanted to have in kotnis...so kahi aur is impossible"As they took food, nidhi observed that most of the food was spicy thai or chinese..very lil indian..she looked at dr ashutosh"aap kya khaayenge"??ashutosh told her not to worry as he sipped lemonade..n chatted,suddenly realising that nidhi was missing..he tried to see..n there she was..coming with the chef..n a plate.."hi sir..i am so glad to serve you special aaloo ke paraathe with mishti dahi"n nidhi beamed as dr ashutosh thanked the chef...n then turned to nidhi..as his friends looked on amused...and nidhi took a piece of paratha n put it in dr ashutosh's mouth...as dr sahni joked"ab mila asli award,..god bless u nidhi..hum log bada darte the us dr mallika se ..peeche padi thi ashutosh ke...thankfully ye kabhi lift nahi deta tha..."keerti chirped"australia me hai..ek beta hai...sudhar si gayee hai..but one can never be sure with mallika...thank god..nidhi mil gayee ashutosh ko..."ashutosh was looking at nidhi..straight..trying to fathom her churning emotions..but she seemed ok...ashutosh gulped...as the topic meandered to other people.."chalo, custard lo...tum to like karti ho"said ashutosh getting a bowl for his wife...As nidhi chatted with ashu's friends with ease n elan, ashutosh looked at her...standing a lil away..who could have said 5 years back that the bleak world of dr ashutosh would turn to a riot of colours n joy...ashutosh smiled...and saw nidhi giggle...to something that keerti was saying...As they began to disperse, keerti held nidhi n said"nidhi, kal mera paper hai..zuroor aana...plz"nidhi smiled n said"mam, i am not a neurosurgeon..what will i understand"??keerti smiled"jisne dr ashutosh ko samajh liya, uske liye cranial surgery is kid stuff...i will wait for u..jaao ab aaraam karo..u look jaded"n ashutosh raised his eyebrow...to give that clinical look to nidhi...

As nidhi undressed, ashu emerged in his tracks n tees n before nidhi could realise, he was hugging her..his hands warm n big on the tummy..as nidhi turned.."mann nahi hai"??said ashutosh relaxing his hold...he d never force his desires...nidhi smiled..."thak gayee hoon..back ache hai,.."ashutosh seemed tense.."dekhoon to.."n as he made her lie, he began to massage her small back,..firmly as nidhi closed her eyes...trying to absorb his touch...just as ashutosh tried to move away, thinking her to be asleep...but as he moved, nidhi caught his hand n placed it on her bosom...ashutosh came closer...asking her the question..as she smiled, he hugged her...n began his journey of love n pleasure..commitment n ecstacy...as he kissed her breasts, abdomen..and she seemed to turn to desire at his touch..crying his name..her moans growing louder n louder..as he claimed her..n she shudderred in her peak..crying out his name...ashutosh separated..but nidhi seemed to cling to him...he put his left arm around her...still without clothes..n pulled the quilt over them..stroking her to sleep...as nidhi went into sound sleep, dr ashutosh got up n wore his night suit..n went into the study to do his work for the next day...
Nidhi seemed lost in a forest,..alone..she was pregnant..n someone or rather something seemed to chase her..she was running..but there were dark clouds..mist..she couldnt see anything..except a hand...coming towards her child..the sky seemed to funnel down in a firey fury...ready to swallow her unborn baby...nidhi seemed to burn..with no one to protect her..no one to save her baby..she twisted..tirned,..she was panting for she had been running..n as she felt she had escaped..right in front of her stood..a dark n sinister form...that extended its hand..filthy , clawed hand to wreck vengeance at her baby...nidhi cried out..as loudly as her lungs permitted"dr ashutosh...bachaaiye..."
Dr ashutosh had been making notes about cranial surgery ..when he heard nidhi..he was there in a split second..but whathe saw seemed to horrify him...nidhi was dripping in sweat...clutching at the quilt..as if to protect herself..n holding her bump most protectively...as dr ashutosh touched her face..she looked up,.n hugged him...crying incoherently..sobbing as never before...her whole frame seemed to wreck n heave in ashutish's arms...ashutosh wiped her tears..kissing her forehead, eyes..making her feel that he was there n no one could touch her or harm their baby..he was overcome with ..love n almost pity on seeing his strong nidhi cry so helplessly...pregnancy aleays made her so vulnerable...as he kept rubbing her bare back...sweat seemed to dry n she shivered...ashutosh got up to get her gown..n put it around..snuggling her v close once again...he held her face n implored"kya dikhta hai.,bolo..bataao mujhe...plz nidhi"his hands were soothing on her skin..but couldnt remove the fear from her eyes...as he seemed to shake her..she cried"ouch..."ashutosh looked shocked...his gaze on her bump"does it hurt..bolo..."nidhi shook her head violently "nahi..."n broke down again...as dr ashutosh seemed frustrated n exasperated...as he held her shoulders n met her gaze..she hicupped"dr ashutosh...i feel trapped...mera koi peecha karta hai..ek strange sight..sab andhera...air phir koi mere bachche ko maarne ki koshish karta hai...dr ashutosh...our baby..."n as nidhi broke down again...ashutosh hugged her again...trying to find answers to this strange vision...was it an expectant mother's insecurity...reminder of the previous painful pregnancy...or was it an omen...of misfortunes to come...ashutosh held a trembling nidhi...as he grappled for answers...

In the morning, ashutosh woke nidhi softly...and she opened her eyes...the spark seemed to be back..as she yawned..n ashutosh held her...pushing her strands back...n in his eyes..there was confusion...nidhi smiled...though weakly"theek hoon ab...bus darr jaati hoon us sapne se...but i am fine..you can check..."dr ashutosh took her b.p.128 by 90...almoat normal...he checked her abdomen ..the baby seemed fine..."yes..you are fine...i guess i shouldnt have left u in the night...you need me..more than ever"..n as he kissed nidhi ..he seemed to be able to fathom the hidden fears in nidhi...he had to draw her out of this quigmire...n he would...come what may..

LAAKH MANAA LE DUNIYA..
HAATH NA YE TOOTEGA
AAKE MERE HAATHON ME HAATH NA YEH CHOOTEGA...
whatever...n he meant whatever may happen..he will take care of nidhi...no thorns would damage the delicate wings of his titli...

Dr ashutosh dialled sudhir as nidhi went in to take bath,"hi sudhir...nidhi is fine , nothing to worry...par last night she again had that nightmare...trembled like a leaf...samajh nahi aata kya baat hai..abhi uthi hai..to theek lag rahi hai..i mean her bubbly self...kya karoon sudhir,..should i keep her in bed rest...bp is normal..but kuch to hai..."there was silence as dr sudhir contemplated n then said"ashutosh, let her be normal...its just a subconscious fear...nothing else..but 3 months poore ho gaye hain, so u get her for an ultrasound kal shaam...is that fine"??ashutosh said yes n disconnected as nidhi emerged to wear her sari,a green one with small maroon bootis, as she combed her hair, ashutosh came n put his hands on her shoulders..."breakfast room me mangwaaoon.."nidhi asked"kyun..restaurant itna sunder hai...phir pata nahi kab aayenge"??ashutosh smiled as he played with her wet hair..."itni badi baat nahi hai..jab kahogi tab aa jaayenge..."nidhi smiled.."abhi to ek saal kahi bhi mushkil hogi...aapki beti jo hogi nanhi si..."n ashutosh smiled..keeping his chin on nidhis head..kissing her hair...as nidhi took off her tops"uttaar kyu diye..doosre pehnogi"??nidhi smiled"nahi shaam ko high tea me pehnoongi..aur nahi laayi hoon..but these are lovely...aapne jo diye the"!!ashutosh looked at her with a deep n moving expression in his eyes...

As dr ashutosh in his light grey suit n nidhi in her green sari entered the restaurant, the manager welcomed them"welcome sir, the dr of the year"as ashu felt awkward n said"table for two..by the pool view"as they settled, ashutosh went to have a look at the buffet , nidhi sat looking outside , when she suddenly felt an affectionate pat..it was dr keerti"akele akele??ashutosh kahaan hai"??nidhi smiled as dr ashutosh arrived with a glass of pomegranate juice for her"hi keerti..join us"keerti smiled"i am thru..going to get ready..aur paper dekhoongi apna phir se..nahi to aapke dr ashutosh question pooch pooch ke maar daalenge...i tell you nidhi bahut achcha kiya jo m.d. nahi ki..isse jeetna impossible hai..n by the way u look beautiful..as ever"she said, caressing nidhi's pallu..n smiling she left...Ashutosh smiled as nidhi admitted she liked all of his friends but dr keerti the most...she was so jolly n friendly..,ashutosh while listening to nidhi's banter kept putting pieces of gobhi parantha in her mouth..as he himself had egg n bread..as masala adrak wali chai arrived, the chef came out smiling,"i hope sir this is the tea u wanted"as a dazed nidhi looked on..ashutosh searched her eyes as he said"yaad hai ..first delhi trip me...adrak ki chai..tumhari zid ke liye kitna pareshaan hua tha..."n then holding nidhi's fingers he said"bas...aise hi pareshaan karti raha karo..."nidhi laughed n said"ab to aapko pareshaan karne do do bachche honge..mera number kahaan aayega..."ashu put a finger on her lips n said"shhh tumhara koi number nahi hai...but tum sabse pehle ho..."nidhi pouted"kgh se bhi pehle"??ashu raised his eyebrow n asked"hey doc!yeh kuch zyaada nahi ho gayaa"??

In the conference hall, nidhi sat in the front row, as mrs ashutosh , with other drs while ashutosh was in the medical expert panel. Dr keerti read her paper about new techniques of cranial surgery, n it was widely appreciated, a dr named dr amardeep about 35 read out his thesis brief on cerebral palsy n its early detection.in his keynote address dr ashutosh recommended some new procedures of sirgery, emphasised on proper diagnosis..n then on the need for taking medical benifits to the people in rural areas,.he proudly showcased kgh venture into the villages n the contribution the young drs eere making...nidhi suddenly felt v elated n proud..of her endeavour...n vowed to do all that she could...the face n lines of sarpanch echoed in her mind...
The conference was over n now the delegates were to meet at 6 in the eveniing for high tea before they took off to their places..ashutosh nidhi sat in the restaurant ordering lunch , nidhi told ashu she had talked to baba, nishu n armaan were playing in the garden..baba had informed her that armaan had slept on the couch in nishu's nursery..n both were busy since morning...ashutosh smiled...imagining the two...dr vashisht n dr keerti also joined in n lunch was pretty talkative affair..as nidhi told them all they wanted to know...about how she n ashutosh had fallen in love, fought the world to get married...as nidhi chattered on, ashutosh looked relaxed..n gave an embarassed look only when nidhi told how he had planned a romantic nite for her..after his bday..he smiled as vashishth said"waah bhai ..kya baat hai..koi believe nahi karegaa..."!!As nidhi got up to use the washroom, dr keerti looked at ashutosh in a serious mood"ashutosh..nidhi has under currents of anxiety..i can feel them...kuch problem hai kya..."??ashutosh took in a ddeep breath"keerti, you were always so observant..yes, nidhi had a v painful first pregnancy...n i feel kuch insecure hai...subconsciously..."keerti nodded.."tell me ashutosh, i could make out her pain ..when i mentioned mallika..kuch..."ashutosh nodded n shared all...keerti n vashishth both knew mallika...it was only ashutosh who took so long to recognise her,...but then she had been the only constant in his life...before nidhi...keerti held ashu's hand"hey, damn mallika...just keep this girl happy n busy...keep her mind diverted..i am saying as a friend n a woman both..n off course as a dr.."ashutosh smiled"yes...mallika is nowhere in my thoughts...she was a friend but that was once upon a time...n now nidhi has filled my world..."ashutosh trailed off as he saw nidhi coming back...looking as fresh as a daisy...After lunch, the three ordered coffee ..n ashu knew nidhi"ice cream"??yes nodded nidhi"one large tooty fruity.."n the two drs laughed.."nidhi..you are a kid"nidhi laughed back:"yes sir,..i am tabhi to dr ashutosh me aur mujh me koi ego hassle nahi hota..see the advantage.."n as ashutosh gave an exasperated look, nidhi said"bass, mera kuch nahi kariye...ice cream khilaayie"!!!

In the room, nidhi began to pack..."shaam ko churidaar pehan loo"??ashutosh looked up"jo mann hai woh pehno...mai to casuals pehnoonga"nidhi smiled..thinking of how surprised his friends d be to see him in casuals...what a change in personality...Nidhi smiled as she packed things..n looked preoccupied..."kya hua nidhi"??"kuch nahi..bas soch rahi thi nishu ke liye kuch lele...dekhte hi daudega..."ashu smiled..n then looked at his watch..."ab time nahi hai...yahaan hotel me to useless jewellery wagairah ki shops hain...aisa karenge..airport se lelene..toy shops, benetton bhi hai..."nidhi nodded..as she pouted"jewellery shop...useless"!!! nidhi closed the suit cases n was going to lift them when ashutosh stopped her"are you crazy??kyu utha rahi ho...main hoon na...chup chaap aaraam karo ab..aao back press kar doon..."as ashutosh's hands began to press her back, she seemed lost..in the journey of their touch...she smiled as she recalled how she had hugged him before the engagement...n how he had just stood there...controlling the storm of desire...she was in the maze of the good nite gifts that they gave each other...after which there was often no sleep but only passion...nidhi smiled..only to be told"i know kya soch rahi ho...but dont worry..ab i can hug you any time...lekin abhi dr nidhi aap so jaayiye...samjhi..."!!n nidhi snuggled up n closed her eyes.
She woke up at 5.15.dr ashutosh was ready..in black tees n jeans, looking devastatingly handsome.nidhi got up n rushed to run a bath n then struggled on the bed with her churidaar..finally ashutosh sighed n sat on a low stool to help her..."pata nahi tha ki shaadi ke baad , neuro surgeon ki ungliyon ko yeh bhi karna padega..."nidhi looked naughtily"aap pati hain..ya neurosurgeon"??n ashutosh moved away..without answering...as nidhi dressed up, n took her tops, he remarked"phir wahi...kuch liya nahi jewellery shop se'"?? nidhi looked irritated..."pasand to kiye the..itne sundar..pearl aur diamonds ke tops...per 1 lac ke the...mere paas itna money kahaan hai.."ashutosh sat looking at her reflection in the ,irror"to mujh se keh deti...".."jab tak himmat ikaththi ki, tab tak to..kisi ne khareed liye the..."ashutosh gave a sorry expression"so sad...per jisne liye honge..pyaar bahut karta hoga apni biwi se...nahi"??nidhi pouted"aur nahi to kya...khair chodiye..chaliye i a m ready.."but suddenly nidhi felt ashutosh hugging her from the back..his lips on her ear lobes..his breath driving her crazy"kya..kar rahe hai..jaana hai..."ashutosh held her n pulling her back whispered..."main to sirf dekh raha tha ki..tumhare kaan mei yeh kaise lagenge..."n he pulled out a tiny box with the coveted tops...nidhi almost jumped with joy...but ashutosh caught her..."kya ho raha hai...meri beti ka khayal karo...aur apna bhi...yehi tops ke liye window shopping ho rahi thi na?"asked ashutosh, his arms holding her with the authority of a loving husband..nidhi blushed n whispered"aapko kaise pata chala"??dr ashutosh caressed her, drawing her closer n said"doc!pyaar karta hoon tumse...ek ek saans se waaquif hoon tumhaari...main nahi jaanoonga to kaun jaanega...ab pehnaane do..idhar aao..."n ashutosh made nidhi sit on his lap, as he pierced the earlobe with the tops...nidhi seemed to find it one of the most intimaye of touches as she seemed to tremble with ecstacy...having done , dr ashutosh, put his arms around her..n kissing her neck..he said"thank you nidhi...thank you v much"nidhi seemed puzzled.."thanks to mujhe bolna chahiye...aap kyun ...itne expensive tops..diye hain..."ashutosh turned serious...his eyes depicting the depth of his love...far beyond all gifts..more intimate than the intimate most caresses...he said"tum jaanti ho main kyun thank you keh rahaa hoon..."nidhi..just stood...her eyes glued to him...no words..no touch ..no thing was required...sainyaan...
KAUN KEHTAA HAI MOHABBAT KI ZUBAAN HOTI HAI
YEH HUQUEEQAT TO NIGAAHON SE BAYAAN HOTI HAI
*****************************
In mathur niwaas, armaan was in the kitchen , making omlette paratha for nishu, as nishu sat on his new dining chair n table that armaan had bought for him,blue in color with dennis on it..as nishu banged the spoon, armaan said"ruk ja meri jaan,..sabar kar..."and as the paratha with omlette was ready, arman sat on the ground, taking small pieces, cooling them with his breath n feeding nishu...enjoying the glee on his face...The previous evening, when they had gone shopping, nishu had sat on the chair..n kissed the table..armaan knew , he had to buy it...but when he made nishu sit in the car, n came two mins later having closed the boot, the way nishu hugged him tight crying"chachaaa"that had pulled at armaan's heart strings...for ages he had nursed the wound...camouflaged it...in his laughter...but the vacuum of not having a family was there...but when nishu hugged him tight,..armaan knew at that moment...a thousand stars were lighting up his lonely world...yes nishu was nidhi n ashutosh's son...but did that mean armaan could not love him...look after him...n he knew ashu nidhi would be too glad to see this chemistry...
Baba stood, seeing armaan feed nishu...he couldnt say much...just came and tousled armaan's hair...silence..the silence was speaking louder than a thousand words...the silence of understanding...the silence shattered by nishu's "chachaaa"that brought a wide smile on armaan's face ..as he stood up, bowed n said"kya huqum meri jaan"!!
*****************************

As ashutosh n nidhi entered, asking kaka"nishu...so gaya kya..."??all lights were switched on..and armaan did ball dance with nishu in his arms...finally saying"welcome back"n nishu hugged nidhi n then ashu...touching nidhi's nose...which like his father..he adored..n then assaulting ashu's spechs!!! Baba came out too..asking about the trip...n then nidhi drew the bag , pulling out a lovely car for nishu...n ke held it saying 'wow...car"then a teeshirt...bright red, with a yellow collar, sweets for kaka, n a lovely blue tee for armaan , a shawl for baba...baba said"arre is sab ki kya zuroorat thi..."ashu smiled as nidhi looked at baba..."zindagi me sab kuch zuroorat ke liye hi thodi hota hai baba..."n armaan added"yes..kuch cheezein paagalpan me bhi hoti hain"...n he kissed lil nishu..before giving him to nidhi...
After settling nishu, nidhi knocked at armaan's door...a tea cup in her hand.."kya hua nidhi"??"kuch nahi..chaai hai"nidhi looked at armaan...n mustering up the courage said"nishu ko miss nahi kariyega...aapka bhateeja hai...poora huq hai aapka uspe"...".aur is gudiya pe bhi"added dr ashutosh...as he came in...armaan looked away, wiping his tears..n then turned around"aaja..meri jaan"as he hugged ashutosh...n patted nidhi...and then returning to his usual self , he said"kahin..tum mujhe baby sitter to nahi bana rahe...payment is v v high..dr nidhi..."nidhi smiled n played along"kya payment hai..bataaiye"?armaan looked at ashutosh n then at nidhi..."bus, mere ashu ko phir kabhi tanha nahi hone dena...quile me waapas nahi jaane dena..."nidhi nodded,..blinking her tears back...as ashu nidhi returned to their room, armaan hummed an old song...
E NANHE SE FARISHTEY..TUJHSE YE KAISA NAATAA...
KAISE YEH DIL KE RISHTEY...
TUJHE DEKHNE KO TARSE KYU HUR GHADI NIGAAHEIN...
MUJHE KHUD PATAA NAHI HAI..
MUJHE TUJHSE PYAAR KYUN HAI...
n he turned to sleep...remembering naina...with a smile on his lips...

Dr ashutosh n nidhi went into the clinic of dr sudhir..who had been briefed by ashutosh..he looked at nidhi..smiling in her blue churidaar kurta..looking so much like ahaana..specially the naughtiness in her eyes..he called the nurse to take nidhi..ashutosh looked at her..she patted his hand..reassuringly..n went.sudhir looked at ashutosh"tell me , what do u think is the reason forthese nightmares..."??ashutosh seemed to contemplate n then said"i feel..its either because i wanted her to abort...she still feels i am a threat to the baby..i mean she might be fearing at a subconscious level...or its the memory of those bleak days of mallika..when i neglected nidhi...did not believe her...we even separated..."sudhir patted a distraught ashutosh..."let me talk to her...one to one..i have fixed u up with nanda...then you can get back to me over the phone...ok"??ashutosh nodded as the two walked for nidhi's check up n ultrasound..as sudhir wore his glove, ashutosh looked at nidhi..but she was not apprehensive at all..n cooperated as the dr conducted a detailed check up, n then as she was wheeled for the ultra sound...ashutosh held her hand...all the way.As dr sudhir pressed the probe, images danced on the screen...nidhi, herself a doctor wanted to have a close look...n ashutosh gave her hand a squeeze as he knew she was close to tears...tears of joy...Dr nanda entered n patted nidhi"all well baby"??nidhi smiled"yes mam"nanda looked at ashutosh,"hey hardstone, ek patient ko dekh na..i feel she has a neuro problem"ashutosh patted nidhi n said"bas abhi aaya"

Dr sudhir took nidhi in his cabin n looked at her intently.."nidhi all is well..your baby is of a normal size n both of u are doing fine..so just relax...chill as you guys say..."nidhi almost laughed"sir..aap unko samjhayiega...he is nervous"sudhir smiled"samjha doonga..per tum mujhe bataao..why do u feel u have these nightmares...any reason...is it because hardstone wanted you to abort...or is it mallika fear again"??nidhi kept quiet...n then spoke slowly"sir its neither...its just that i want this baby...v badly..i know dr ashutosh d never say but he always wanted a daughter,...n i know its a daughter...a mothers heart doesnt need an ultrasound...n i d never ask you...n even if 1%its a son..i want it..i want to complete our family..give dr ashutosh the bliss of a home full of the laughter of his kids...i want him to hold this bundle of joy...its just that i feel scared ki kahi kuch ho na jaaye...i"sudhir gave an understanding smile as ashutosh entered..."all well hardstone...bus keep giving her nutragen...things are fine..dont worry..n baby...obey hardstone"both smiled as they came back to the car...ashutosh smiling...this pregnancy really seemed a cake walk...things were smooth...

In kgh , back from surgery , ashutosh dialled sudhir"yes sudhir..could you understand her fears"??sudhir answered"yes, i talked to her for quite sometime...its nothing that you thought...actually she is just over excited to give you this baby...which incidentally she knows n i think you know too is a daughter...she is just apprehensive that some snag may not rob you of this impenfing bundle of joy...ashutosh the fact is ..as we all know, nidhi places u on a pedestal..for her your happiness matters the most..you are her boss...guide...lover..n the father of her kids...very few woman love so strongly...she can di anything for you...u lucky bloke"ashu smiled ..but asked'i know all this..but as a dr , what do you suggest...how can i make her more secure...tell her i am hsppy"sudhir smiled"share the joys of this journey...your wife n baby are fine..let her be normal..let her work..play a lil with nishu..n generally be positive"ashu thanked n disconnected..as there was a knock n nidhi ntered"chalein...ghar"??as dr ashutosh got up, dr ranganath entered,'sir...'..ashutosh looked up"yes dr ranganath...".."sir i have reconfirmed with choubeypur sarpanch for friday...4 days from now..he told me many deliveries are due.."ashutosh nodded "yes dr ranganath...this is the last of the compulsory trips..not only our grant but my n the hospital's reputation depends on it..brief dr..megha..n yes do inform all these 4 village sarpanches that our endeavour d continue..its not just for the grant"..dr ranganath bowed"i understand sir, i comoletely understand"as he withdrew, ashutosh called"yes ranganath..dont forget on saturday evening, there is a small party for nidhi...its her birth day..u anji n khushi must come".."sure sir..sure"nidhi smiled with joy as they sat in the car...

In the drive, dr ashutosh contemplated about what dr sudhir had said...yes he needed to enjoy nidhi's pregnancy with her...he had been holding back out of fear,.n probanly that fear was being reflected in nidhi's nightmares...he smiled..as he vowed to make amends..n looked at nidhi...zzz she was fast asleep..her right hand on where lay their second baby...ashutosh shook his head,..as his eyes showered love on nidhi.."utho nidhi, ghar aa gaya"he caressed nidhi with the back of his hand...as she opened her eyes n yawned, he caught her ..holding her by her waist..he walked her home..nidhi knew nishu d be on his pram ride with baba n maxi, as this d give ashu nidhi time to get freshened up...nidhi emerged in her purple floral gown..ashutosh followed in his towel..and as he dressed, he could hear nishu...knocking"paaapaaa mammma"ashutosh smiled n played"kaun hai...baba...armaan"??n he could hear nishu slapping the door..he opened, holding nishu"arre ye to humaara nishu hai...hullo"!!n nishu looked at his father..n then shyly planted a kiss on his cheek...

At dinner armaan informed"bhai..nidhi ke birthday ka arrangement ho gaya hai...food, decoration everything...dr sahib ..apna violin saaf ker lena zaraa...biwi ke liye gaana nahi gaayenge"!!dr ashutosh gave a hard look to armaan who was irrepressible"achcha bachchoo..aankhein dikha raha hai..woh din bhool gayaa jab kerala ke baad..sirf sad song sunta tha..."nidhi laughed"bataaiye na armaan ji kaunse gaane sunte the...".."jab dil hi toot gayaa..hum jee ke kya karenge..."n armaan began to sing the k.l.sehgal number as nishu nidhi n baba laughed...n ashutosh took a paper to hit armaan!!!!!!!!

As nidhi was making nishu play the finger game...folding his lil finger"yeh..nishu ki lil sister ki.."ashutosh came with the doll nidhi had been clutching that night"aur yeh bhi nishu ki lil siister ki..."n nishu laughed as he took the doll n then put it away ..playing with his car"grrr"he shouted..imitating the engine...as nishu played on the sofa...ashutosh asked nidhi...'kaise sambhaalogi dono ko..."??nidhi smiled"sambhaal loongi...aap chinta nahi kariye..inke papa ko sambhaal liya to yeh kya cheez hain..."ashutosh smiled...After settling nishu, adjusting his a.c at 22, ashutosh returned...to come close to nidhi...he put a hand on her bump...n bent down to kiss it...keeping his head in nidhi's lap,.."hi baby...its me..tumhara papa...just wanted to tell you...i love you...jab tum aaogi to bahut saare toys, pink dresses...aur ek naughty bhai..tumhara wait karte milenge..."nidhi played with ashu's hair...caressing his tired shoulders..she spoke"nishu trouble karta tha..to aap violin sunaate the..yeh sharif hai to..isse kuch nahi"??ashutosh smiled...remembering how he used to play the violin..to bring comfort to nidhi from the consistent kicking of nishu...he kissed the bump again...grazing his fingers on the swell..as he looked at nidhi n serenaded..to their baby"mere ghar aaye..ooo mere ghar aayee ek nanhi pari..chandni ke haseen rath pe sawaar,..mere ghar aayee.."he looked at nidhi...n kissed her tenderly on the lips..before pulling her to him...caressing her to sleep...

Next evening as dr ashutosh n nidhi were sipping tea with baba, col verma n dadi bua came..."wow what a surprise..aaiye"as ashutosh bent to touch their feet, cv hugged him..n baba said"welcome samdhin ji...kahiye kaise..."..dadi bua wrinkled her nose n said"ab kaise kya...apni bachchi ko dekhne ka mann hua to chali aayi..yeh yog to aa hi nahi raha tha..main kheench ke laayee"ashutosh looked at cv"plz col verma...aap zyaada jaldi jaldi aaya kariye...nidhi..n i..aur nishu bhi..we d be v glad"cv smiled...as maxi came in n touched their feet..n dadi bua said"haan haan theek hai..sarkaar...aane ko uchal rahaa tha..aayega kal..phir nidhi ki party tak rok lena..madad ho jaayegi.."cv looked at ashutosh"kya socha hai..ashutosh , looking after two kids wont be easy..atleast ek saal"ashutosh smiled"a naughty glint in his eyes..."do kahaan col verma..teen bachche sambhaalne honge mujhe to..."as cv n baba looked surprised,dadi bua screeched"judwaa hain kya...bete ya beti"??ashutosh calmed dadi bua"relax dadibua...ab yeh to unethical hai bataana ki beta hai ya beti...bhale hi mujhe pata bhi ho to...lekin twins nahi hain..."dadi bua looked confused"to phir teen..kaise"ashutosh looked at nidhi..."woh aise dadi bua, do mere bachche...aur ek aapki bachchi"!!!!n all laughed as dadi bua held ashu's ear..col verma laughed n added"dr ashutosh...aapke bachche to bade ho jaayenge...per meri bachchi ka bada hona...zara mushkil hai..."as nidhi pouted n went into the kitchen , dadi bua followed her"meri bachchi...baat to sun"!!!!Turning serious, ashutosh told cv "nidhi theek hai..ultrasound was also fine...no cause of tension...aap worry nahi kariyega"cv held ashutosh's hand and said"dr ashutosh...jise aap jaisa daamaad mila ho..woh apni beti ki kyun chinta karega bhala"??...n then he began to play with nishu...making him practice"nanaji"as nishu smiledn shouted"nanaaaji"...

At dinner time armaan was there too, n teased dadibua"waise dadi bua...nidhi ke birthday pe to aapko gaana cchahiye...meri bachchi"!!!dadibua looked at baba n added"kahe deti hoon..mujhe pareshaan nahi kariye...zyaada kiya to..."armaan teased"to nahi aayengi"??dadi bua threw an ace"nahi..yehii rehne aa jaaoongi..tujhe sudhaarne"!!!

The next day was a rare light day for dr ashutosh...he looked at nidhi..as she was making nishu ready..."nidhi, chalo...aaj shaam kahi ghoom ke aate hain...nishu ke saath"??nidhi smiled"waah!!aaj to baarish hogi..dr sahib biwi ko ghumaane le jaa rahe hain"!!n ashutosh..turned her around, prisoning her in his arms..."kyun ..kahin le nahi gaya hoon..tumhe"??nidhi looked for escape...but escape was impossible as dr ashutosh left the stamp of authority ...imprint of love...on her lips...nidhi seemed to gasp for breath...as ashutosh went on his knees..to put his cheek to her baby bump...saying"hi baby...shaam ko ghoomne chalein"???nidhi seemed excited"chaliye...dargah chalenge pehle...phir us dhaabe pe ...jahaanhum jaate the..."ashutosh held her..."hey doc!!khaana dhaabe pe nahi..."nidhi frowned"per kyun nahi..pehle bhi to..."ashutosh put his hand on her tummy n rubbing his nose on her neck s, whispered"tab tum pregnant nahi thi...shaayad"nidhi pushed him away , blushing...

The day was relaxed at kgh, as ashutosh called dr megha n briefed her about the trip to choubeypur...she seemed not too enthusiastic...ashutosh observed that..but kept his temper in control...as he waited for nidhi, his thoughts wamdered off to the joy that life had become...the house that was once so lonely n desolate seemed oozing with euphoria n energy...his lonely sleepless nights were a forgotten memory...now invariably he d sleep with nidhi...in his arms...fatigued after long lovemaking...n there was nishu..active n bright...what gave ashu tremendous joy was the fact that nishu was not only their joy ..but also brought smiles to baba..n armaan...armaan , who had been ashu's sheet anchor...when he had no one...neither baba ..nor nidhi...and how different he was from mallika...he accepted nidhi with open arms...for him , she was like a friend...a sister...but mallika...had always treated ashutosh as her property...n found nidhi to be a threat...how degraded friendship could be...ashutosh shuddered to think...and then he smiled again...thinking of how nidhi d grow big soon...how he d hear the heart beat of the baby...feel her kicks...ashutosh gulped...as the thought brought the face of nidhi in bouts of pain...but then this time it seemed so easy...n he d be there with her...to face everything..together.."KAHAAN KHO GAYE DR ASHUTOSH"!!!it was nidhi...asking him...pulling him out of his thoughts..as ashutosh smiled n said"chalo..Nishu wait kar raha hoga"!!
********
At home armaan had come early, knpowing the plan , he readied nishu in a green dungrees, n crea tees, with new sandles...as ashutosh nidhi entered , nishu ran to hug them n show his new sandles...nidhi smiled ...at the love of armaan...ashutosh looked at nidhi n sensing agreement asked "armaan tu bhi chal na humaare saath"armaan yawned"no way...kaun chalega tumhare dhabe pe...aur chai ki dukaan pe...mai aur baba to veg pulao n pineapple yogurt khaayenge yahaan pe..."ashu smiled...he knew the real reason...armaan d never intrude their personal space...
As dr ashutosh started the car, nidhi said"pehle dargah..."she had worn a cream churidaar today as well...similar to that day...when they had affirmed their love...ashutosh smiled as he took nidhi's hand...suddenly there was a whistle...ashutosh stopped the car..there was a barricade"sorry sir aahe nahi jaa saqte..vip movement""ashu asked..if they could take the route through mahanagar"sorry sir..aaj us area me jaa hi nahi saqte...c.m ki meeting hai..."ashutosh sighed...n drove towards the dhaba...nishu was enjoying the lights...as they stopped at the dhaaba n ordered chai..adrak wali..n nothing else..nidhi recalled the first time she had got him here...listened to lovely heer...n eaten oily pakore...ashutosh could read her eyes...as he requested the folk singers to sing..."par aaj heer nahi...koi khush numa saaz chediye.."soon the entire dhaba reverberated to the famous folk song"hariyaala banna aaya re hariyala banna ayaa...
Banni ke jo mann bhaaya re, hariyala banna aaya"
N nidhi was lost in the moments of their marriage...when she had thrown the rose at dr ashutosh...looking handsome as the banna... nishu clapped n both ashu n nidhi came to the present...ashu thanked n paid...n drove off to clarks awadh,..where he had booked a table for three.nishu jumped at the lights n freaked out at the ambience as...nidhi sat...ashu said"tum order karo..mai isse ghumata hoon"nidhi smiled...looking at the father son...so incomplete without each other..nishu held on to ashutosh's finger...n nidhi imagined..him carrying their pink..pretty baby in his arms...holding nishu by the finger...'mam d u like to order"??nidhi was brought out of her thoughts"yes...paneer korma, hare chane n korma...with naan n salad"as ashutosh n nishu came the food also arrived n the family began to eat...ashu smiled as he observed , nidhi needed no encouragement to eat...while nishu was fed by both alternately...ashutosh said"hmmm delicious"n nishu looked at him n repeated"hmmm dedicccos"n nidhi couldnt help smiling!!after dinner while dr ashutosh ordered a capachino, nidhi n nishu shared a large tooti fruity...ashutosh asked.."nidhi...tumhe ice cream kitni pasand hai"!!nidhi looked up n replied"bus aap se thodi si kum...jaantein hain..jab mai bachchi thi..to baba mujhe roz ek orange bar khilate the...bib laga ke...!!!jaante hain..ice cream is my index to life...yeh samajh leejiye ki agar main ice cream nahi khaaoon...that means...i am truly dead!!!"n she dipped in the spoon again..n fed nishu...as ashu looked on his world..his joy ...his rainbow..

As they drove back, it was stormy ...n soon rain broke out,..splashing the wind screen.."rokiye na dr ashutosh...yaad hai..priyanka ki shaadi ke baad..hum pehli baar saath bheege the"??...ashutosh looked at her...his eyes seemed to say"kaise bhool saqta hoon...tab..us pal hi to shaayad ehsaas hua tha...ki"nidhi was shaking him.."rokiye na...nishu nahi nahayega baarish me...to ..to uski personality nahi develop hogi...phir woh apni girlfriend ke saath bhi nahi bheegega...no rain..no romance...kya aap chahte hain..nishu unromantic ho...bade hoke..apne papa ki tarah..."ashutosh sighed...n stopped the car..it was impossible to contest against nidhi...he smiled...the most endearing of smiles n then said"dr nidhi...mujhe samajh aa gaya ..jo log saath baarish me nahi bheegte...unki life me koi romance nahi hota...aur kyunki aapko nishu ki love life ki bahut fiqr hai...mai uske saath jaa raha hoin baarish me...aap plz yahin baithe...kyunki jahaan tak mujhe pata hai...aapki love life kaafi achchi hai...okay"??n then as nidhi made a face he took off his jacket...handed it to nidhi in a typical husband way n said"pakdo...laao nishu ko"!!

As dr ashutosh got down from the car with nishu..into the rain...nidhi could see the difference...in him..there was no resistance to joy...no hiding behind the high walls of his fortress...he was open..to the joys of life.. as he lifted nishu in his arms n extended his hands to collect the rain drops...throwing them at nishu's face...n then as he jumped in water , nishu squealed..wanting to be put down...n soon both father n son..seemed to be savouring the rain...finally she had to shout"waapas aaiye ..bukhaar ho jaayega" n as a drenched duo entered, nidhi dried nishu's hair with her chunni...on reaching home, nidhi shhhd nishu..n they tiptoed into yhe room, she dried n changed nishu...n as he dozed off...ashutosh emerged from the toilet...his hair still wet...as he put nishu in his bed n came, nidhi whispered"baal to sukha leejiye..viral ho jaayega"ashutosh caught her..."achcha...baarish me bheegne se viral...maine to suna tha...isse love life improve hoti hai..."n nidhi giggled...as she switched on the fm, the song that was playing described her emotional state so well...
AAJ KAL PAAON ZAMEE PER NAHI PADTE MERE
BOLO DEKHA HAI KABHI TUMNE MUJHE UDTE HUE?
NEEND SE REHTI HAI , HULKA SA NASHA REHTA HAI
RAAT DIN AANKHON ME EK CHEHRA CHUPA REHTA HAI...
HUMNE DEKHA HAI...DO TAQDEERON KO JUDTE HUE...
as dr ashutosh came closer...n she held his face in her hands...he entwined his fingers into hers...n looked into her eyes...
JAANE KYA HOTA HAI, HUR BAAT PE KUCH HOTA HAI
DIN ME KUCH HOTA HAI AUR RAAT ME KUCH HOTA HAI...
THAAM LENA JO KABHI DEKHO HUME UDTE HUE...
dr ashutosh , held her close...really close..his arms holding his most precious treasure...his nidhi...as she finally settled her face in his chest...hearing his heart beat...a heartbeat that echoed of everlasting love ...n immortal commitment...thru all seasons of life...nidhi knew that...as she closed her eyes..n surrendered herself to her universe...dr ashutosh...

It was thursday evening,as nidhi ..having returned a little early was playing with nishu while baba n armaan were finalising with the caterers ..the menu for nidhi's birthday party, armaan looked at her n asked affectionately'nidhi kuch khaas khaane ka mann hai to bol"baba added"haan beta..jo bhi mann hai woh bol de..."nidhi smiled at the way she was being pampered...chote sarkaar had also come ..n with maxi was busy finalising the flowers..."bibiji...orchid ya gulaab..aap bataaiye"??nidhi smiled..as dr ashutosh who walked in said"red roses ...sirf red roses"armaan laughed..nudging him "kya baat hai meri jaan"!!nishu ran around in excitement...knowing that there was a party coming up...

After dinner as the family sat sipping tea..baba spoke"nidhi ..bata kya gift legi..anything for you...tu ne to mujhe is ghar ko..itna kuch diya...ab mujhe bhi to kuch..."nidhi looked up...n said"baba..aapne mujhe dr ashutosh de diye...samajhiye poori quayanaat mil gayee..ab kya maangoongi..."baba smiled...n added"bas nidhi ab to hum sab ko is gudiya ka intezaar hai...sach tu ne mera budhaapa roshan kar diya...beta".."aur mera bhi"!!!!quipped armaan..as nidhi wrinkled her nose, finally as a tired ashutosh yawned,they got up...with armaan n baba kissing nishu ..n ashutosh carrying him..patting him to sleep...but nishu seemed restless n kept crying 'mammma'finally nidhi sat n took him in her lap...hugging him n lulling him to sleep...but not before he played the finger game once more.nidhi said "plz sula deejiye isse..."as dr ashutosh carried a sleeping nishu to the lil cute colourful bed...nidhi came in ..n as she leaned on his shoulder...he said"ek aur nurssery banwaani hogi...all pink...barbie dolls..pink pillows...sab kuch pink,.."nidhi smiled at his anticipation..his joy...as she took her doll..n kissed it..dr ashutosh smiled"is doll ko doonga usse sabse pehle..bataaoonga ki uski mamma khelti thi isse..."n nidhi leaned on him...closing her eyes to rosy dreams...as they came to bed, dr ashutosh felt the baby...n finding it peaceful..looked at nidhi..her eyelids drooping with sleep..."neend aa rahi hai,,,"nidhi nodded as dr ashutosh smiled n enveloped her..caressing their lil bundle of joy..within her..In the night...ashutosh felt nidhi twist n mumble,..he seemed alert...as he felt she was seeing the nightmare yet again..he shook her"utho nidhi..utho plz"n kissed her on her cheek..nidhi opened her eyes...a lil dazed n then hugged ashutosh...ashutosh said nothing..just caressed her back..n then asked"noodles khaaogi".??nidhi smiled as the lines of tension disappeared n she said"yesss chaliye saath banayenge"ashu smiled n took her into the kitchen, wanting to distract her...as he made maggi while nidhi made tea..he looked at her n said"woh zuroor maggi khaya karegi raat me...aur uski do pony tails hongi..."nidhi whispered"aur uske papa uspe jaan chidka karenge"ashu couldnt say anything more..he just gazed at nidhi n said"yes...ye to hai..."as both ate maggi from the same plate..nidhi couldnt help commenting"shaadi se pehle koi soch sakta tha ki dr hardstone maggi khaayenge..woh bhi aadhi rast ko"!!!!ashutosh just smiled n rubbed his nose to hers...before claiming her full lips..she separated"bed room me to chaliye.."n ashutosh scooped her in his arms...dropping kisses all along.n then as he undressed her..he could see the changes...nidhi blushed..realising he was observing her...almost examining her...n she just cuddled up to him...leaving the rest to him

As dr ashutosh lay back..his breath coming to normal...his hand grazed nidhi ...again...as he could feel her ..hear her..whispering his name...he came over ..n kissed her on the forehead..."so jaao ..ab"they slept..in each others arms..their bodies having been united..just as their souls were...

In the morning, nidhi got ready n woke ashutosh.."uthiye...der ho jaayegi.."ashutosh yawned n looked at his watch"7 baj gaye...9 baje se surgery hai..major..i dunno how long will it take..raat bhi ho sakti hai..tum aajana ghar..samjhi"??nidhi nodded,.At the dining table as ashutosh ate sabzi paratha..he seemed tense n preoccupied"kya baat hai aashu"?? Asked baba,"kuch nahi baba..aaj rural trip hai..i just hope sab theek ho jaaye...kgh ki aur meri reputation ka sawaal hai..."baba asked"kyun sab theek nahi hoga...kya doubt hai"??"baba doubt nahi hai...bas...i wish yeh young drs samjhe ..villages me kitni zuroorat hai..humaari"baba patted ashutosh as nidhi too agreed n said"aap tense nahi hoiye..dr megha ki duty hai...she will do it well..she is not that irresponsible""i hope tum theek keh rahi ho...there are deliveries to be done...she d better be responsible..baat sirf aid ki nahi..humaare hospital ki izzat ki bhi hai...if we complete this mission successfully today...kgh will be looked up with reverence..."added ashutosh...nidhi just prayed silently that all went well...bcoz for her nothing mattered more than dr ashutosh's honour..n for him nothing mattered more than the honour of his hospital...kgh..

Dr ashutosh was greeted by dr ranganath in the corridoor"sor, everything is ready for the surgery..dr priyanka will assist you..n dr jyothika will be your scrub.is that fine sir"??ashutosh nodded n asked"all set for choubey pur? See to it that all instruments needed for delivery...are there..medicines..all..i want it to be a success..has dr megha come"??ranganath smiled"sir 10 a.m time hai...aap chinta nahi kariye...you have a tough surgery ahead..."nidhi also looked at dr shutosh..reassuringly"sab theek hoga..i promise you that..ab ek dum free mind se surgery ke liye jaaiye.. yaad hai aap kehte the ...NO EXTRA BAGGAGE IN THE O.T"ashutosh looked philosophical..."yes nidhi..per kehta to mai yeh bhi hoon ki EK DR KE LIYE USKE PATIENTS SABSE PEHLE AATE HAIN..BAKI AAB KUCH..N I MEAN SAB KUCH BAAD MEI...I REALLY WISH DR MEGHA YEH YAAD RAKHEIN"..n giving a pat to nidhi ..he went for his surgery..

Nidhi was in her o.p.d when she saw dr ranganath running around..n heard dr dubey in a temper..she came out.."sir kya hua...dr ranganath.."??dr dubey did not answer..but looked away in disgust..nidhi turned to drranganath"kya baat hai aakhi..."??a frustrated ranganath answered"dr megha has taken casual leave..sms bheja mujhe.URGENT WORK..CANT COME TODAY..aur ab cell switched off hai unka.,now we are at our wits end...kaise hoga ye mission poora..health secy ..minister sab ke saamne naak kat jaayegi..."nidhi asked"koi aur dr nahi hai"??dr dubey answered"nidhi...we need a lady dr..deliveries karwa to koi bhi sakta hai..but its a village ..this entire scheme is for women..only lady dr...is needed"
Nidhi pushed her hair back..with her hand,n said'sir..i volunteer..i will go..mai do baar pehle bhi jaa chuki hoon..i can handle everything..just give me a replacement in opd...dr deepak..ya.."dr ranganath looked at dr dubey...dr dubey spoke..with worry"nidhi..is haalat mei,.itna strain...ashutosh bhi surgery mey hai...uski permission ke bina tumhe kaise bhejoon..."...there was a call on dr ranganath's mobile..he hemmed"jee sir..no worries sir...fine sir"..he looked at dr dubey n said"health secy confirmation chahte the...kal health minister aa rahein hain kgh..dr ashutosh n hum sab ko felicitate karne for this effort...ab main kya kehta unse"??nidhi held dr dubey's arm"sir..kch kehne sun ne ka waqt nahi hai...i am on duty..n i must do my duty..aap waise hi decision leejiye jaise ki aap kisi aur dr ke liye lete...aur sir for a dr..uske patients sabse pehle aaye hain..."dr dubey smiled...a lingering paternal smile ..as he put his hand on nidhi's head..."kisne sikhaaya tumhe yeh sab,.tum to meri student nahi rahi"??nidhi smiled"sir aap bhool rahein hain..mai aapke best student ki intern thi,...unse hi seekha",..dr dubey had no answer..this girl never ceased to surprise him...he nodded..as ranganath ran in...

At sharp 10.15, nidhi with laxmi bai..sat in the ambulance..with a big pack of food n drinks that dr ranganath arranged from the canteen..dr dubey n dr ranganath briefed the driver about nidhi..n laxmi nodded "aap chinta nahi kariye sir..."nidhi waved n said"dr ranganath..mai unki surgery khatm hone se pehle aa jaaoongi...pucca..promise"!!!n the ambulance started off to choubey pur...

At the health centre, the sarpanch was waiting...he smiled n folded his hands as he saw nidhi"waah ji waah,..docterni ji aap aa gayee phir sse..humaare bhaag khul gaye..."nidhi did namaste n walked to the patients..there were check ups..of expectant mothers..n then counselling sessions for family planning..the health worker came to tell nidhi that two women were in labor..nidhi got up n told laxmi bai to boil water..as the first patient was brought in..a mother of a son..nidhi smiled as she asked"beti chahiye"??the patient had tears in her eyes"daktarni ji..mujhe to kuch bhi theek hai..per pari aur saas ko ladka hi chahiye..."nidhi sighed...n began to work...encouraging the lady to push...working on her..till finally a cry filled the room...n laxmi bai soon appeared outside , holding a beautiful baby ...the relatives ran "kya hua..."laxmi bai replied"laxmi aayee hai ghar"n almost instantky the wailing started...making nidhi to step out n shout"sharm nahi aati...beti hona paap hai kya.."n then looking at the husband she said"agar tumhari maa nahi hoti..to tum bhi nahi hote...aur woh bhi aurat hi hai..."n as the relatives lowered their eyes, nidhi stormed inside..back to work...soon there were two more deliveries...nidhi was sorely tired..her back hurting...luxmi bai observed..she came to nidhi"chaliye dr nidhi thoda aaraam kar leejiye..kha bhi leejiye...aapko itni der bhooka nahi rehna chahiye..."as nidhi nodded n got up...washed her hands with dettol..n freshened up..she did feel ill at ease..some pain in the lower abdomen..she sat to eat..n as she took the second sandwich n sipped the juice..she could hear terrible croes of a woman...she knew it was labor...she threw the sandwich n got up...it was a young girl barely 20...expecting her first baby...nidhi took her in..as the sarpanch quietened the relatives...the young n concerned husband wept in a corner...scared...nidhi checked the woman...it was a breach baby...how could cesarean be done...it was impossible...the baby had to be brought into position...some how..nidhi worked deftly...trying all that she had learnt when she was posted in the gynae ward...it was hard work..as nidhi pressed..but finally she could sense the baby turn...she continued..n then suddenly as the woman cried in a spasm of contraction..nidhi put a hand on her abdomen...feeling a strange cramp...she could not bother about herself...she checked the patient..dialation was not complete..she encouraged..helped her to push...crowning finally happened,..but the girl was loosing consciousness,:"laxmi bai..i.v lagaiye fluid "laxmi bai quickly complied...as nidhi worked harde..her own back splitting with pain...n abdomen cramping...finally as nidhi pulled a healthy baby girl...there was relief...laxmi bai ran to clean the baby..as nidhi cleaned n dressed the mother..now conscious"beti hui hai..tumhe"nidhi kept looking at the girls face as her eyes dwelled with tears of joy..laxmi bai took the baby outside n the father kissed it..."meri bachchi..."nidhi smiled as she imagined herself in the girls position...but dr ashutosh wont wait outside..he d be with her ..holding her hand...

"Kya baat hai dr nidhi,..aao ekdum safed lag rahi hain..."asked laxmi bai ...as nidhi ended the last check up ..she did seem v v tored..looking at her watch , she saw 5.p.m. would dr ashutosh have come out of surgery...she picked her mobile.."arre signal kyu nahi hai"??sarpanch answered"daktarniji..gaaon hai..signal bhi aata jaata rehta hai...khair aapka bahut bahut dhanyavaad...aapne...KYA HUA MADAM ...KYA HUA"IT WAS THE SARPANCH..IN SHOCK..AS NIDHI ALMOST DOUBLED WITH PAIN...laxmi bai pushe everyone out...made nidhi lie on the cot..."kya hua dr nidhi..kya baat hai..let me see"a nurse of 15 years experience...she tried to examine nidhi...there were minor traces of blood...nidhi was cringing in pain...holding her bump..."LAXMI BAI...KAAM HO GAYA NA POORA...POOCHIYE SARPANCH JI SE..KOI AUR PATIENT TO NAHI HAI..."laxmi bai answered"dr nidhi..aapko hospital chalna hoga,..aao theek nahi hain...sarpanch ji...sarpanchji"sarpanch,..an old man of 70 entered,coughing to announce his arrival...as nidhi struggled to sit up..."sab ho gaya na..koi patient wait to nahi kar raha"??the sarpanch answered"nahi dr sahiba..koi nahi hai..per ab aap jaao...aap theek nahi ho...aap kyun aayi..aisi haalat mei..."??nidhi smiled theu her cramps n said"aap hi ne kaha tha na..ki agar dr aaye yahaan..to kitni aurton ki jaan bach sakti..."rest was lost in nidhi's agonising cry...as laxmi bai helped her into the ambulance bed..n instructed the driver..."jaldi chalo kgh...jaldi"the ambulance zoomed off...leaving behind a village..in tears..praying for the safety of their saviour...

Nidhi was groaning in pain...as cramps gripped her..."dr ashutosh..plz phone kariye..laxmi bai..plz"laxmi bai..tried to comfort her,..banging the cell in angst...no signal...lucknow was just 25 km away now..as luxmi bai tried to give juice to nidhi...the ambulance came to a screeching halt..."kya hua driver"shouted laxmi bai..."railway crossing band hai..shaayad..ya jam hai..dekhta hoon"..nidhi twisted n banged her head..the cramps seem to be tearing her...she wanted to reach the hospital...she wanted to save their baby...she wanted to be with drashutosh..."aahhh!!!"luxmi bai..pulled her legs apart..to examine her...the next moment she rushed..to call the driver..."laxmi bai..train aane mei time hai shaayad...doosra rastaa lumba hai...yehi wait karein..."??luxmi bai was facing the toughest situations of her life...she looked around...vehicles were jammed up..getting out would not be easy...waiting..was the only option..
As nidhi's cries n groans filled the ambulance..laxmi bai..changed the sheet beneath her...full of blood...laxmi bai knew...n nidhi also knew...she was miscarrying...as nidhi cried helplessly ..luxmi heard the whistle of the train...music to her ears...the crossing opened..n the ambulance made its way...35 mins had been wasted...were they too late to rach kgh?????

As they crossed the railway line, the signal came in the cell phones, luxmi bai dialled dr ashutosh from nidhi's cell...no response,..it struck her...he might still be in surgery...she dialled dr ranganath..dr ranganath had just been trying the cell of luxmi bai n nidhi but the constant message was"this phone is outside the coverage area"finally as dr ranganath seemed to be reaching his wits end, the cell rang..he grabbed the phone"hullo. Dr nidhi...ho gaya kaam...aap kaisi hain..kab aa rahi hain..chal chuki"??he fired a volley of questions...n when he finally sought the answers, he heard the quivering voice of laxmi bai"sir..camp to successful raha..par dr nidhi ki tabiyat bigad gayee hai...bleeding ho rahi hai sir unhe..."ranganath seemed shocked..he collecte himself n said"phone do..dr nidhi ko"as luxmi bai pressed the phone on nidhi's ear...she gasped in pain..."dr ashutosh...plz...aa jaaiy...aaahhh!!!"rest was lost as a cramp gripped her again...ranganath shouted into the phone"kahaan hain aap log..kitni der lagegi"??"sir bus 12 ..14 km door hain hospital se...".."turant pahunchiye...aur seedha rakhiye dr nidhi ko"...
Dr ranganath rushed to the o.t. the red light was still on...shoild he disturb...the patient was being operated for multiple malignant brain tumors...v risky operation...dr ashutosh must not be disturbed...he ran to dr dubey...n tod him the facts,..dr dubey seemed speechless..then he realised he had to act..."phone dr sudhir...aur sab kuch ready rakho...uske father ko khabar karo..."dr ranganath dialled dr sudhir..n as he divulged that nidhi was bleeding..n was in an ambulance..dr sudhir who was just going to rest after a tough day, threw on his jacket n spechs..n rushed, nanda shouted"kahaan jaa rahe hain..."sudhir did not look back...just shouted"nidhi is bleeding..kgh..."dr dubey looked at his watch.."mere khayaal se ashutosh aadhe ghante me nikal aayega...tum col verma ko phone karo na"..dr ranganath hesitated.."no sir..dr nidhi ki dadi bua ekdum nervous ho jaayengi..unhe sambhaalna mushkil hoga...i will call dr mathur" dr dubey nodded..n ranganath dialled mathur mansion...

Armaan had returned from work n he n baba were enjoying hulwa n pakore made by chote sarkaar..nishu too relished aaloo ke pakore..cs exclaimed"aaj jab beebiji aur dr sahib aayenge to yehi serve karenge...garma garammm"nishu laughed..he knew his parents were being discussed...as .baba laughed "haan..nidhi ko bahut pasand hain pakore..aur ashu ko hulwa..aur kal to muh meetha karna hi hai..meri nidhi ka birthday jo hhai...to aajse..."armaan picked the phone...he was silent...n signalled to nishu"shhh nishu chup..bachche"baba got up...touching his arm..."kkkya hua...armaan"armaan seemed miserable..he looked at baba"hospital chaliye... nidhi ko shaayad...miscarriage..."baba fought back his agony...he was a dr afterall...'chal beta..lekin nishu..?tu anji ko phone kar..bol aajaayegi ..khushi ke saath..la mai kehta hoon"as baba talked to anji..she said she was rushing...handing over nishu..quite dazed, armaan n baba rushed to kgh,..

The ambulance screeched...n the wardboys were ready with the strtcher...nidhi...her kurta almost soaking in blood was transferred..as dr sudhir took charge...nidhi was in agony...she cried"dr ashutosh...dr ashu..."dr dubey came to hold her hand as the stretcher was wheeled...she saw him...temse...but murmured"sir...i completed my job...all done..."n as dr dubey's eyes couldnt control tears..dr sudhir almost pushed him out..."i need to examine her..plz get out"...as the nurses cut nidhi's blood soaked clothes...sudhir found it difficult to focus on the job...so heart rending was nidhi's whisper"plz ..dr ashutosh..ko bula..."sudhir spread her heartlessly..this was not the time for emotions...but of action...As he wore his glove..n examined nidhi...trying to pin her down...he knew..with his experience of 18 years...she had lost the baby...there was no doubt about that...but she had to be cleaned...surgically..a dnc had to be done...he left her n emerged...

Baba, armaan had reached..as sudhir came out, baba asked"sudhir..."??"sorry dr mathur...nidhi has miscarried...i could not do anything...i feel it happened in the ambulance itself..anyway first..i want to clean her surgically...ashutosh is in surgery..someone needs to sign the consent form,..."baba gasped...n held on to the door...then he looked at sudhir..."mai karta hoon..sign..."dr ranganath rushed for the form...and baba...blinking back his tears...but with a firm hand ..a surgeons hand filled...
PATIENT'S NAME...DR NIDHI ASHUTOSH MATHUR
SIGNATORY'S NAME ..DR SAGAR MATHUR
RELATIONSHIP WITH PATIENT...(he paused for a moment..n filled)FATHER IN LAW..
n signed...then turning to look the other way..As dr dubey tried to console him...he hushed him..."i am fine...sudhir jaldi karo...hum nidhi ko nahi kho sakte..."

Dr ashutosh sewed the sutures...a smile of a victorious warrior lingered on his face,..he had pulled it off once again...now he could relax...n yes he had thought of a song for nidhu's birthday..."maine tere liye hi saat rang ke sapne chune..sapne sureele sapne..."he smiled...humming to himself as he changed..thinking of his dream..of having a daughter..come true...as he tightened his tie, the door opened,...it was dr dubey with dr ranganath..both looking v sombre...ashutosh raised his eyebrow..."kya baat sir...the surgery was successfull..."as dr dubey started in a choked voice"ashutosh...dr nidhi..."ashutosh's face seemed to have lost color...he looked at dr ranganath"dr ranganath..kya hua hai nidhi ko...tell me"??as ashutosh seemed to rush to his cabin..Ranganath held him..with all his effort ..he said"sir...dr nidhi has has...miscarried..."
ASHUTOSH SEEMED TO HAVE TURNED TO STONE...ALL COLOUR DRAINED OFF...HE STOOD ROOTED...FOR A WHILE...N THEN WALKED OUT ...TO HIS NIDHI...


NOTE...WRITING THIS UPDATE WAS TERRIBLY TORTUROUS...WHY CANT ASHU NIDHI BE JUST HAPPY..V HAPPY??BECAUSE LIFE IS NOT MONOCHROMATIC...WE HAVE TO SEE MANY "MAUSAM OF ASHNI"...NOTHING BRINGS A COUPLE CLOSER...THAN A SHARED LOSS...WE WILL WITNESS...ANOTHER MAUSAM OF ASHNI LOVE...SILENT..SOMBRE...BUT STRONGER THAN EVER BEFORE..
KABHI SUKH KABHI DUKH..YEHI ZINDAGI HAI..YEH PATJHAR KA MAUSAM GHADI DO GHADI HAI..
NAYE PHOOL PHIR SE DAGAR ME KHILENGE...

PLZ BEAR WITH ME...LOTS OF POIGNANT ASHNI MOMENTS...COMING UP...AS THEY TRAVERSE THESE DARK DAYS...TOGETHER..AS ALWAYS

Dr ashutosh walked towards the o.t., the truth still not sinking into him...he was unable to understand...how had it happened..had nidhi slipped??hurt herself??or...was it just her body rejecting the foetus...He stopped as he saw the red light on...n baba armaan outside..ashutosh was in a daze..baba realised it..he touched him...trying to make him feel the reality..."ashu...dekh..kya se kya ho gaya.."ashutosh looked up...as dr dubey came close..patting him.."pata hai..ashutosh...you..infact all of us..we should be proud of nidhi..."dr ashutosh looked up.not understanding the relevance of the statement...dr dubey elaborated""pata hai ashutosh, nidhi ko miscarriage kyun hua..."??ashutosh looked up..."woh gayee thee aaj choubeypur ..duty pe..dr megha nahi aayee..koi aur lady dr nahi thi...aahna deepika..to bus interns hain...udhar health secy ka phone aa raha tha..ki kal minister aa rahe hain hum sab ko...tumko honour karne...to jnidhi ne volunteer kiya...woh,..tumhe aur is hospital ko sharminda hote hue nahi dekh sakti thi...maine kaha..dr ranganath ne bhi kaha..ki pregnancy mei...to boli ki ek dr ke liye sabse pehle uske patients aate hain...aur yeh usne tumhi se seekha...hai" dr ashutosh gulped..to keep his tears in his eyes..."phir kya hua"??luxmi bai spoke up"sir...aaj bahut load tha...7 deliveries to karwa chuki thi...par unki kamar dukh rahi thi,..maine bithaya...khana nikala,.lekin tabhi ek aur difficult caes aa gaya...breach baby tha...bahut effort lagana pada...usi mei...mere khayal se,...lekin tab bhi ..is haal me bhi unhone poocha sarpanchji se..ki koi aur patient to nahi hai...lekin sir...waapasi me bahut tadpi...woh..bahut bleeding hui...traffic jam tha...phone ka signal nahi tha...woh bus baar baar aapka hi naam pukaar rahi thi...sorry sir..mai kuch nahi kar saki...i am sorry...per dr nidhi jaise dr ...laakhon me ek hote hain,..doosre ka bachcha deliver karne mei..apna bachcha kho diya..."n laxmi bai just turned away..sobbing...
A shocked dr ashutosh..looked at dr dubey..."sudhir..."??"haan dr sudhir ko fauren bula liya tha...but it was too late...aahutosh...she was soaked in blood...bus ab dnc kar rahei hain..."ashutosh seemed frozen..numb,..devoid of any emotion...he wanted to enter...but dr ranganath stopped,"no sir..dr sudhir ne strictly manaa kiya hai..."alost ashutosh meandered to his cabin...and as he slumped in the chair...the deluge of millions of impressions of nidhi...smiling..wearing his coat...hugging him...came to his mind...as the lovely vibrant face of nidhi flashed in his mind...as he recalled how he had kissed the baby bump that morning...how excited nidhi had been about the baby...he couldnt help..holding his head in his hands...as tears flowed...freely..n silently...Ashutosh heard a knock..he wiped his agony n said "come in..."it was baba..ashutosh stood up...as baba n he looked at each other...their forms quaking in misery.. their eyes heavy with the burden if unshed tears...their hearts..with the woman who lay in the o.t.n whom they knew had suffered much more than any of them...no words were spoken..probably none were needed..as both knew it was the begining of a long drawn season of grief...which they had to face...for which they had to brace...
Dr ranganath entered"sir..the procedure is over"dr ashutosh was drawn out of his trance as he walked quickly to the o.t. as dr sudhir emerged...ashutosh wanted to rush in...to see nidhi..his nidhi..the nidhi who had suffered so much..sacrificed so much in the line of duty...n for him..his dreams...Dr sudhir stopped ashutosh"ruk jaao ashutosh...sister dress kar rahi hai...n she is not conscious...anesthesia mei hai...come..come with me...chalo"sudhir almost pulled ashutosh away to the cabin, as dr ranganath sent coffee...sudhir held ashutosh"i am sorry..ashutosh..i couldnt save the baby...i am really sorry...but it was over by the time she reached...i had to clean up...so much of blood..dead tissue..mucous...she was calling for you...you know jab maine use anaesthesia diya...she looked at me...such utter hopelessness in her eyes...she knew...she had lost the baby..."dr ashutosh who had been standing next to the window banged his forehead against the bars...probably trying to feel the pain...probably trying to feel something...finally ..he regained his voice...in a husky..deep voice..trembling with emotions...he asked"kaisi hai nidhi...ab"??sudhir smiled..a sad sardonic smile of a dr..for whom coping up with grief is an occupational hazard...he answered"she is stable...out of danger...bleeding to naturally bahut hui hai...but she is o.k...but ashu ..i really dont know how she has taken it...or will take it..i am not too sure...its gonna be tough hardstone...the lil girl is hit hard..real hard..."n sudhir walked out barely able to control his own tears...ashutosh stood alone..contemplating what dr sudhir had said...trying to comprehend how hard nidhi had taken it...there was a knock...armaan entered with col verma...ashutosh...could not meet his gaze...as col verma came close...ashutosh mumbled"sorry col verma...main nidhi ka khayal nahi rakh saka...plz forgive me if you can"cv held ashutosh..."kya keh rahe ho..ashutosh..aapse zyaada kaun khayal rakh sakta hai...bhala nidhi ka...himmat nahi haariye...aap toot jaayenge to uska kya hoga..."armaan patted ashu"chal baahar chal...sab hain baahar"
Solanki sahib, shyama aunty...n a silently weeping dadi bua were all there...dadi bua came to dr ashutosh...looked at him n hugged him..."daaktar...meri bachchi..."ashutosh patted her...n made her sit...armaan sat next to ashutosh...he knew how to handle ashutosh in grief...he had seen many seasons of ashutosh's gloom n grief...he just held his hand...n smiled...probably the most difficult smile..Sister emerged from the o.t. n handed over dr ashutish , nidhi's mangal sutra..ashutosh clutched it...n put it in his upper pocket ..close to his heart...he recalled how he had put it around her neck...at the mandap..n then after nishu's birth...nishi..nishu.. dr ashutosh suddenly realised..nishu must be alone...with whom??he looked at armaan"armaan..nishu..kiske paas hai...bas maxi aur sarkaar..kaka to gaye hain..."armaan patted"dont worry..anji aa gaye hai,,khushi ke saath...theek hai woh...ek baar nidhi ko hosh aa jaye to mai chala jaaoonga..tu chinta na kar...tere bete ko koi taqleef nahi hone doonga"ashutosh looked at armaan...how had he..how could he cope up with grief...ashitosh was finding it impossible even to breathe...as he loosened his tie...At 10.30. Finally baba came to ashu.."ashu beta...mai aur armaan chalte hain..nishu ko bhi to dekhna hai..anji ko chod aayega armaan...tu phone karna...subah ki subah dekhenge...beta..yeh yaad rakhna..tujhe hi sambhalna hai nidhi ko...hum sab hain tere saath...humesha...per yeh imtihaan tera hai...hausla nahi tootne dena...chalta hoon...nidhi ka khayal rakhna"

It was at 12.30...when dr ashutosh n col verma were alone in the corridoor that sudhir came out"hish aa gaya hai..mil sakte ho..usse tum...ashutosh" ashutosh looked at col verma,..apprehension ..anxiety so apparent in his eyes...he knew he had to go in...baba's words echoed in his heart...it was indeed a test for him..a test of patience...a test of the ability to bear pain without showing it,...He got up...n braced himself...he closed the door softly ..as he entered...she was there...in the blue gown..her hair open on the pillow...looking whiter than the sheets...ashutish gulped,..n came closer...she did not react...she saw him...he knew that,..but did not say anything...she just lay...her left hand on ...where the ...the engagement ring...on her finger...ashutosh sat close to her...he took her hand...she did not withdraw...she did not quiver...for the first time ashutosh felt...nidhi not responding to his touch...he caressed her forehead...n spoke...after a mammoth effort to keep his emotions under control..his tears in rein..."nidhi..."bit nidhi just lay...breathing ...her chest showing rhythmic movements...but she just did not respond...she could hear him...it was her dr ashutosh...but what could she say...what was there left to say...nothing...absolutely nothing...nidhi closed her eyes...closed them from dr ashutosh...from the baby that had been a part of her till a few hrs back...from her own self...there were no tears...that flowed...ashutosh observed that...as he caressed her cheek...as always by the back of his hand...n came out...at the signal of dr sudhir...
Dr ashutosh came out...col verma ..looked into his eyes..ashutosh was almost wrecking within..col verma realised ..dr ashutosh needed to be alone...ashutosh entered his cabin again...sitting down ..he closed his eyes...as tears flowed out...tears for his nidhi...tears for himself...tears for their mutual loss...tears for the fact that life would probably never be the same again...as he composed himself...he recalled how..in this very hospital..during baba's sickness..nidhi had given him her shoulder to cry on...how he had said,.."nidhi ..maine tumhare kitne roop ..kitne mausam dekhe hain..."today ..his vibrant nidhi...his rainbow was facing a harsh autumn...an autumn..which was colourless...soundless ...tearless...
Raja's titli had been injured...how d the raja reclaim her from the fortress of silence...????
Dr ashutosh closed his eyes...n all that emerged in front of him was nidhi nidhi nidhi...in various hues..in various seasons...in smiles ..in tears...n in silence...

Nidhi lay on the bed in the hospital room, it was probably wee hrs in the morning, dr ashutosh had come to her thrice diring the night...looking at her with grave eyes..overflowing with love...n concern ..but nidhi ?nidhi had closed her eyes each time..prefering not to meet his gaze...she just couldnt have..she did not have the courage to meet his gaze...he had only one question in his eyes"how are you feeling nidhi"??n she could never lie to him...n the truth d only make the grief deeper...nidhi still could not comprehend her own loss ..her grief..n her pain in totality...but even in this state of emotional trauma..she knew one thing ..n that was the fact that dr ashutosh was suffering...maybe not physically ..as she was..but emotionally...his dream..his desire...it was shattered...she had failed him...she had failed herself...n she had failed their baby...not being able to grapple with her thoughts..she closed her eyes...shutting off herself from the world...

Dr ashutosh sat outside...still in a state of shock...not only by the loss but by the complete silence of nidhi...he held his head in his hands...ashutosh felt a hand on his shoulder..it was sudhir...ashutosh stood up..he knew dr sudhir couldnot have done anything more...some things were just beyond a dr...somethings are just not meant to be...sudhir spoke"ashutosh, i am going home now...she is stable, nurse has to change her every 2 hrs bcoz she is still bleeding heavily...but it d wane..dont panic...i would come tomorrow at 9 a.m then we will see ...ok..n take care of yourself
too..."ashutosh nodded ..as dr sudhir left...dr ashutosh leaned on the chair..n closed his eyes...sleep was miles away..even though he was bone tired after a long surgery..in front of his eyes, the only form that emerged was nidhi's...heknew..it was going to take long for her to recover , to come to terms with the loss, he also knew nidhi was suffering , from physical agony(he shuddered when he thought about her already weak back n an injured birth canal) but also from an emotionally shattering experience and also from the burden of guilt...ashutosh knew that...he rued the day when he had laid hos heart bare to her...sharing his deepest desire to father children..to live his child hood in them...he had never thought his desires would boomerang this way...
At 6.30 , ashutosh's cell vibrated, it was baba,he took the call"jee baba.."there was a hesitation at the other end ..but finally baba spoke"haan ashu...nidhi..nidhi kaisi hai beta...bleeding kuch kum hui"??ashutosh tried to look into the invisible horizon..n answered"jee baba..stable hai...bleeding to hai...maybe ab wane kare dheere dheere...aaraam kar rahihai...sudhir aayega 9 baje...examine karega..."ashu kept quiet..then asked"baba, nishu kaisa hai,..roya to nahi"??baba smiled..a sad smile"nahi beta...roya nahi...woh to party ki tayyariyan dekh kar khush tha...ab jab sab kuch hatwaayega armaan..tab roye shayad...par usse sambhal lenge hum...tu bas nidhi ko dekh...aur ashu...himmat nahi chod..."ashutosh wiped his eyes..n mumbled"jee baba"
At about 7.30, when the nurse touched nidhi for the change..she opened her eyes...her back seemed to be splitting...but it didnt bother her..shee was not fully aware of the pain...she looked towards the window...the sun was shining...but their life seemed to be covered by thick dark clouds...nidhi's thoughts went back to the previous morning...when dr ashutosh had grazed his fingers on her baby bump...n planted a kiss...she trembled as she moved her hand across her belly...strangely she had no urge to cry...maybe she couldnt...she looked at the nurse ..bending over n asking her"dr ashutosh ko bulaaoon kya"??nidhi didnt say anything...she closed her eyes again,..

At 8., an hour before schedule , dr sudhir entered, he looked at ashutosh..looking composed but in deep gloom...he went in, telling ashutosh to wait outside..."you dont need to see her bleed...that will only make you worse..."ashutosh did not argue..it was against professional ettiquette...he just sighed..as with his hands in the pockets of his creased n crumpled trousers , he looked at nidhi's room...dr sudhir examined her...she was bleeding...quite heavily still..but her medical parameters seemed ok..if not fine, dr sudhir took off the drip himself..n told the nurse to sponge nidhi...n rotated the lever of her bed into 120 degrees..as she sat.."nidhi..."asked sudhir..."baby, kya baat hai...taqleef hai bahut...dard hai"??nidhi was lost...as sudhir held her arm..deliberately pressing it hard..trying to extract a response...nidhi looked at him..her eyes almost blank...dr sudhir patted her n came out to ashutosh, who asked immediately"kaisi hai...kuch boli"??sudhir shook his head"naa..nothing ...chup hai ekdum...but bleeding wane kar rahi hai..though i feel..i know jitna pain ho raha hoga..."sudhir looked away, recalling how women criedn wailed in agony n pain after a miscarriage.."drip hata diya hai...2ghante baad..feed her..anything light..khichdi...or"ashutosh turned away..."you know sudhir...aaj uska birthday hai...i had ordered a black forest cake for her...her favourite...today she turns 27...only 27..."ashutosh broke off...unable to bear the suffering that she was undergoing...

In the room, the nurse sponged nidhi...opened her gown, cleaned her armpits n then her neck...nidhi moved her hand...n felt for something...she looked around...nurse observed"kya hua dr nidhi..dard hai"??nidhi didnt reply,..but her fingers were constantly at her neck...nurse came out to dr ashutosh n sudhir"sir, dr nidhi ko dard hai shaayad,..gale me..baar baar choo rahi hain"sudhir seemed shocked, he entered , followedby a worried ashutosh...nidhi was feeling her neck...the top of her gown...sudhir asked"what is it nidhi...dard hai"??nidhi looked up...her fingers still on her neck...ashutosh understood...he came very close to a smile ..as he said"i know sudhir..."sudhir looked back at him surprised...as aahutosh moved close to nidhi...n slowly pulled out the mangalsutra from his upper pocket...he had understood nidhi was feeling its absence,..trying to look for it...feeling incomplete without it...the silent symbol of their love...their union...ashutosh 's fingers grazed her skin, pushing her hair away , as he put the mangalsutra...once again around nidhi's neck...as he moved away..wrenching at seeing this still n silent nidhi...devoid of any expression...any emotion..nidhi moved her hands...n silently held the mangalsutra ...n then as ashutosh looked intently, she raised it to her lips ..n then to both her eyes...a gesture of devotion...devotion to their relationship...to dr ashutosh...to their years together...n as ashutosh tried to fight the strong urge to weep...nidhi closed her eyes again...

At mathur niwas, nishu was still sleeping in his nursery , when arman called the tent house workers to dismantle the lovely tent...told the caterers that the party was off...n kept away the violin that ashutosh had taken out a day ago...no party, no music..no lights..mathur niwas was in mourning...as baba stood in the hall looking at the photo of ashutosh n nidhi...taken years ago at their sangeet...when to everybody's surprise...even baba's disbelief...ashutosh had danced with nidhi...armaan came to baba...putting an arm around his ageing shoulders...he said"aayeiye baba...thoda aaraam kar lee..."baba looked at him...n then back at the photo...as they suddenly hears the sound if nishu..."mammma"armaan rushed in...n gathered a sleepy nishu in his arms..."haan baby kya hua"??nishu looked around...searching for his parents"papa...mummma"he said...maxi tried to diatract him by bringing milk n chocolate in his favourite mickey cup...n then opening his wardrobe..pulling out his bright baba suit...red n blue.nishu smiled n climbed on ashu nidhi's bed...putting out his fingers...remembering the finger game...

At col verma's home, cv tried to make dadi bua eat something...but the grief was just too unbearable...n it was only after cv promised dadi bua that he will take her to the hospital soon, that she accepted tea...with trembling hands...
Dr ashutosh phoned home"armaan...nidhi ke liye khichdi le aa...jaisi woh kha sake...with low salt..."armaan nodded...as nishu caught the cell...knowing somehow that it was his father..he cried"papppa"ashutosh gulped...n answered"haan beta...mai papa...mammma bimaar hai...mai aaoonga abhi thodi der mei...nahi nahi karenge..."n nishu laughed dropping the cell..."nhaai nhaai"!!!!Armaan came to where ashutosh was sitting...he handed over the tiffin...n looked at his friend...facing the silent storm of grief...yet again..though armaan had himself lived with grief...for decades..yet ashutosh's pain always rattled him from deep within...he nudged ashu."jaa khila de...main wait karta hoon..."ashutosh walked into the room...nidhi was lying..her eyes closed..but he knew she was awake...trying to grapple with thepain..the agony..the loss...dr ashutosh sat...n he put his hand on nidhi's arm..."nidhi...utho..thoda kha lo..nahi to bahut weakness hogi..."nidhi opened her eyes...he got up to leve up the bed..n then asking the nurse for a towel, he began to feed nidhi..she opened her mouth..as he slipped the spoon ..having cooled the khichdi by blowing it with his mouth...nidhi found it tough to swallow...as the warm food passed down the gut...a v v strong desire to throw up arose...n as dr ashutosh nudged her to have one spoon more , she coughed violently...throwing up..as ashutosh quickly cleaned her face...n took it into his hands...forcing her to open her eyes"nidhi..nidhi..meri taraf dekho...plz..aankhein kholo...nidhi..."he almost commanded her...n she...could she ever refuse him??slowly...her eyelids lifted..she opened her eyes...n tried to look at him...felt ashutosh but then ..she looked away..ashutosh asked the nurse for a fresh gown n toldher to go..as he d change nidhi...he opened her gown..lifting her in his strong arms to pull it away...n then he slipped the new one..helping her to push in her hands...as she seemed settled..he fed her 4 spoons more...before lowering the bed ..n sitting by her...

Ashutosh held nidhi's hand...as she looked at...nothingness...they had nothing to say to each other...as nidhi closed her eyes...ashutosh put his hand on her cheek ..n said"hey doc..i know tum so nahi rahi ho...aankhein kholo aur dekho meri taraf...plz"nidhi looked at him...as he smiled at her...weakly, caressing her cheek..repeating it again n again"sab theek ho jaayega...mai hoon na..."n nidhi seemed to quiver..if only for a moment...but quiver she did...she responded to ashutosh...n it did light a tiny spark of hope in the darkness that had enveloped their heart...

It was 11 a.m. dr ashutosh knew he had to go home to change...to see nishu...but was leaving nidhi easy...equally difficult was staying away from nishu...yearning to be with his parents...he also had to meet the health minister n secy when they came in the evening...though he had excused himself from the function to be held at the town hall..dr dubey n dr ranganath d represent kgh.As col verma arrived, with dadi bua, an ashen ashutosh held his hand n said"col verma, main nishu se milke aataa hoon...nidhi better hai...a shade...aap mil leejiye...bus dekhiyega..dadi bua roye nahi uske saamne..plz"cv nodded ..as he clutched ashutosh 's hand...his son in law..had suddenly aged in one night...
As ashutosh parked his car in mathur niwas n walked in, he was greeted by baba.."aaja ashu...chaai mangwaata hoon..nidhi ne kuch khaaya"ashutosh slumped..as he saw red roses wilting in a corner...today had to be a day that he wanted his nidhi to remember...sadly fate had made it a day that shecould never forget...as baba repeated the question, ashu answered"ji..thoda khaya...nausea hai...maybe due to anaesthesia..."baba scratched his beard...n asked"beta, nidhi ghar kab tak...actually nishu miss kar raha hai..."ashutosh looked around for his son...baba answered"actually, woh armaan ghumaane le gaya hai...ro raha tha..."ashutosh winced..the thought of naughty nishu crying,...he thought how strange it was...kids could spend days with others in joy...n happiness but the moment there was grief..they had a sixth sense..n wanted only their parents...ashutosh got up..n with a massive effort went into the bedroom...he dumped his jacket on the sofa...n came to stand in fron of their wedding photo...nidhi..smiling..exuberant...a lovely bride...n today...she lay in the hospital...those lovely eyes had dark circles around them...the smile seemed to have vanished...the colour gone...she was but a sad shadow...of his titli...ashu 's thoughts were broken by a cry of nishu..."papaaa"n he ran towards ashutosh...ashu picked him up...hugged him in his arms...kissing him all over..wiping his tears away..."nahi ro..nishu..papa is here..."nishu hugged him tight...n uttered "mammaa"??ashutosh looked a lil nonplussed but then pointed towards nidhi in the wedding pic..."dekho..."n once again nishu smiled...ready to kjump out of ashu's arms to kiss the pic of his mother...
Dr ashutosh took out his clothes...maybe after years...n took nishu for another shower,..as they emerged , n ashu changed him...n then began to change ..into a white shirt...black tie n grey suit...nishu was playing on the dressing table..n he picked up nidhi's lipstick..n cried out"mammma"ashu looked at him...n sat with him in his lap..looking around the room..yes everything spoke of nidhi...nidhi who was lying in the hospital...nidhi who was hurt n injured...nidhi whose dream was shatttered...how d ashutosh put the pieces together again...he looked at nishu...the beautiful..rippling symbol of their love...would he help him reclaim nidhi???
As ashutosh wore his shoes, nishu played withnidhi's radio..swithching it on...the song made ashutosh stop in his tracks...

KABHI SUKH , KABHI DUKH..YEHI ZINDAGI HAI..
YEH PATJHAR KA MAUSAM GHADI DO GHADI HAI,,,
NAYE PHOOL KAL PHIR DAGAR MEI KHILENGE..
UDAASI BHARE DIN KABHI TO DHALENGE,...
dr ashutosh smiled...at the hope the song gave him...at his young nishu...at the thought that come what may..he d not let his nidhi..his titli wallow in grief...and at the renewed confidence that he d ..certainly would bring smiles back to nidhi 's face...
He lifted nishu , n came out to the hall...baba n armaan looked at the duo...n as ashutosh touched nishu's cheek n said"pata hai , aaj mamma ka birthday hai...shaam ko hospital aajaana...baba ke saath..."..rays of hope..though weak through the clouds of gloom...seemed to have touched mathur niwaas once again...

Dr ashutosh left home...having fed n pecked nishu..n having himself had a plain toast without butter n tea...he couldnt bear any one put butter on his toast...it had to be nidhi..n only nidhi..he often used to say with pride n adulation."mere haath surgery me kaam karte hain...per toast per butter nahi laga sakte..woh kaam mere liye nidhi hi karti hai..."dr ashitosh parked the car n entered kgh, dr ranganath was busy getting the hospital readied for the ministerial visit...he looked at dr ashutosh ..apologetically, ashutosh smiled...realising that there were things that had tobe done...there was no choice...he came to his cabin, went thru the details of the visit..finalised everything, dr ranganath was going to maje a presentation, n ashutosh knew it d be good, it always was...having completed his work, he went straight to nidhi's room...luxmi bai was changing her..dr ashutosh asked"kaisi bleeding hai..kum hui kuch"??his voice loaded with worry"yes sir..kum to hai..per kuch kha nahi rahi hain..dekhiye kya haalat hai..bilkul weak ho gayee hain..do din mein.."ashutosh nodded...n told laxmi bai to go..as he d be there...
He looked at nidhi, she had her eyes open..but was not looking at anything in particular..ashutosh put his hand on her forehead...she looked at him...he asked"kaisi ho...nidhi..dard hai bahut"??nidhi just gazed at him...she did not answer but she also did not look away...dr ashutosh kept looking at her intently...yes she looked extremely weak...n fraildark circles around her lovely eyes...her hair uncombed...ashutosh got up..patting her hand , he said"bus abhi aaya...juice laane jaa raha hoon..mango ya orange"??nidhi did not answer...dr ashitosh got a pack of orange juice..he knew nidhi liked it..n then he went to the common room, opened her locker..n smiled as he saw her hair brush..he knew she kept one in the hospital..infact in happier times he had teasedher.."dr nidhi aap..patients dekhti hain..ya baal sanwaarti hain..."??n she d pout n answer.."senior neuro surgeons ko impress karne ke liye baal bhi sanwaarne padte hain.."ashutosh held the brush...put it in his inner pocket of the jacket...and walked back to nidhi...He did not leve the bed..deliberately, but sat close to nidhi n put his right arm around her..holding her waist, he made her get up..n put pillows around her..then , with his left hand, he put the straw into her mouth...her eyes were locked to his..n only when he raised his eyebrow..did she began to suck...she took a few sips...their eyes locked...but then she pushed the pack away...ashutosh did not press ..he just said.."dekho..baal kaise ulakh gaye hain...baitho..mai comb kar deta hoon..."without waiting for her response, he took the brush from his jacket n stood behind, brushing her tresses tenderly, distangling the knots with his deft fingers...hoping that he d be able to unknot the problems of life as well...the same way...As ashutosh combed...both nidhi n he recalled that terrible moment when the conniving mallika had made ashutosh comb her hair...right in front of nidhi...ashutosh cringed...at his foolishness..unable to forget the hurt..the injury that he must have caused to nidhi...n nidhi...she recalled the moment dimly...how she had cried in her room...mallika was gone...and it seemed so had the tears...nidhi just couldnt cry...ashutoshcaressed her cheek.."ho gaya...dekho ab let jaao..abdomen pe zyada strain nahi dena hai..."n he removed the extra pillows n made nidhi lie...she wanted to turn..he put his arm under her..n helped her...then began to press her back..massage it..trying to get some relief...for her..for himself...he began to pat her...n slowly..like a child her beautiful eyes began to droop n she seemed to drift into sleep...ashutosh withdrew quietly...but just as he took a few steps back...nidhi turned...her face seemed contorted...n she woke up with a start...scared...her hand on her abdomen...n then the realisation that the baby was lost...she looked at ashutosh...helplessly, as he rushed to hold her...n she put her head against his chest..clinging to him..like ivy to a castle...ashutosh hugged her tightly...n closed his eyes...trying to protect his world...Dr dubey entered the room, had come to see nidhi..but he stood rooted to the spot...seeing his best student hold on to his life..his wife..half his age..dr dubey..held back his tears..as he silently prayed for both..n came out...dr ashutosh felt nidhi trying to shift..he heard a hiccup..he looked down..was she crying...finally??no she was not..but she was holding him..probably wanting to say something...but she didnt...ashutosh put her back..gingerly..,and as she shut her eyes once again, he emerged...to take thecall that was ringing on his cell.

Dr ashutosh seemed shocked...it was the chief minister..."yes sir..what can i do for you"??the c.m replied"dr ashutosh..mujhe dr nidhi ki durghatna ke vishay me pata chala...meri samvedna...kaisi hain ab dr nidhi"??ashutosh took a moment n then said"sir recover karne mei waqt lagega..."..cm cond"dr ashutosh..kya mai kuch kar saqta hoon..mere layak koi kaam...sankoch nahi kariyega"ashutosh said"thank you sir...but dr s are looking after...bus ek baat sir..mai shaam ke function mei nahi aa sakoonga..mere drs represent karenge..pur mujhe nidhi ke paas rehna hai..."the cm responded"aap bilkul chinta nahi kariye...main health minister ko bata doonga...aap dr nidhi ka dhyaan rakhiye...poore predesh ko aap dono per naaz hai..."ashutosh hung up...

The health minister n secy arrived..the minister shook hands with ashutosh..holding on he said"dr ashutosh...aapka dukh mai samajh saqta hoon..."ashutosh nodded...in the conference room, dr ranganath made his presentation, showing the drs visit to different villages, figires n facts of the cases treated..n then the feedback section had the villagers speak..the sarpanch of choubeypur spoke of nidhi,..in glowing terms...dr ashutosh felt extremely proud...but pained at the same time...as he looked away...Dr dubey took over n began giving details of the plan lay out...ashutosh was finding it hard to focus...surgery was different..he could concentrate there..infact it was like a therapy..but now his mind meandered tonidhi...as dr dubey wound up,the minister signed n gave the grant..n they walked into the corridoor..while going out...the secy asked "dr ashutosh..could we meet dr nidhi..just for a while"??ashutosh answered sharply"sorry, my wife is unwell...no one can meet her..."the secy withdrew...but the press did not...as ashutosh retirned after seeing them off, the reporters gathered around..."dr ashutosh..kaisa feel ho raha hai aapko..is samay"??"aap batayenge ki dr nidhi ke dil pe kya guzar rahi hai"??another fired"aap ko kya lagta hai..dr nidhi niklengi iss sadme se baahar...aapki prem kahani..ek anokhi dastaan..khatm ho gayee kya..plz dr humare viewers ko bataiye"dr ashutosh pushed the miken the camera away as he snarled at the journalists"journalist hone ka matlab insensitive hona hota hai kya??hur chot story ya scoop nahi hoti..n my dear friends..mai ek surgeon hoon, main zakhm silta hoon, udhedta nahi hoon...n now plz leave the premises...meri biwi koi breaking news nahi hai..out i said"the hospital staff n drs stood in silence as the press withdrew...dr hardstone was back...

At mathur niwas, armaan was making nishu ready..he asked"kya pehnega meri jaan.."??as nishu ran around in his underwear...as armaan caught him and made him wear a blue tee n black shorts..combing his hair , he said"mamma ko kissi dena..aur rona mat..samjha hero"??as they emerged, baba was talking over the phone to col verma..."haan tum aur samdhanji bhi pahuncho...dekhte hain..."the sombre look disappeared as baba saw nishu..hugging him he murmured"mera pota...aaja baba ke paas...chalega nidhi ke paas"??nishu nodded n mimed"nidddhhhi paass"armaan started the car...as baba sighed.."armaan ..kya se kya ho gaya..."

In kgh, dr ashutosh dialled sudhir"sudhir...".."yes ashutosh..any issues"??.."no..she is stable..thodi response bhi hai...just wanted to know..if nishu can meet her...thodi der ko"??"why not..lets see the response...but zyada nahi..bcoz it may be traumatic for nishu..too...shaam ko around..8 i d come ..ok"??"yes ok sudhir..thanx"..there was a knock at the door, "come in olz"n in came baba, arman n nishu...ashutosh's face seemed to light up for a moment ..only to turn ashen again...but he got up to hold nishu...n made him sit on his table...as baba looked at him...raising an eye brow...ashutosh took a deep breath..."i know aap kya pooch rahein hain baba...but main bhi nahi jaanta nidhi kaise react karegi...karegi bhi ya nahi..."..armaan n baba understood...baba said"tu bas nishu ko leja..hum sab bahar hain..colonel..samdhanji anji bhi hain,.."
Dr ashutosh took nishu by his finger,...as the two came to nidhi's room...ashu shhh nishu n left him with baba...as he went in...nidhi was sitting...lost in her thoughts...ashutosh came closer...stroking her hair, he said"nidhi..koi hai jo tumhe bahut yaad karta hai..miss karta hai tumhe...milna chahta hai..tumse ..milogi???"nidhi slowly turned to ashutosh...n her lips trembled...ashutosh smiled n patted her cheek...he came out n entered again ...nishu in his arms...he slowly put nishu down...and watched...

The mother in nidhi..looked up...the agony ...the pain ..the misery of losing her unborn child had eclipsed the memory of the one who was thriving...pining for her...nishu..their nishu...how he must have missed her...and she...lost in the forest of her loss..had she thought about him even once...nidhi was overwhelmed with guilt...as nishu walked ..a little apprehensive in the new surroundings...he came to the edge of her bed ..stood there..n then simply looked up n said"mammma"nidhi seemed overcome...moved...a tumult of emotions rising in her heart...n wanting to escape through those lovely eyes...she held nishu..patted his hair...n whispered"nishu..."ashutosh , standing in the doorway ..was moved to tears...as a weak smile seemed to break out on nidhi's face...nishu put forward his hand...wanting the finger game...nidhi's mind rewinded..the flood of memories...she n nishu in the bedroom..playing..."yeh nishu ke baba ka, yeh papa ka, yeh armaan chacha ka, yeh nishu ka...aur yeh hai...nishu ki baby sister...ka..."the loss..the enormity ..the finality of it seemed to dawn on nidhi...she clutched nishu's hand...n looked at ashutosh...ashutosh knew her train of thoughts...as he moved towards her...hoding nishu up..he put nidhi's head to his chest...her haven in many a painful nights...ashu looked at nidhi...her eyes seeming moist with tears ..tears which were still not flowing...grief that was still deep in her heart...and a deafening silence..that ashu n nishu would break...with their laughter...their care...n joy..ashutosh pushed his tears back...n hugged nidhi closer...he could hear her heart beat against his...not knowing how ..not knowing when ..his nidhi would smile...would conquer her grief..would share her loss...would let out the pent up emotions...coiled up within her...but ashutosh knew one thing...he d be with his nidhi...holding her..caring for her..through this long dark night...n he was not alone..in this struggle..he had nishu...their son...though they had lost a baby...though their hearts were broken..though their tears were painfully unshed...but the ray of hope..in nishu's smile lived...ashu touseled nidhi's hair...as in his heart reverberated the words...
KUCH BOL KE KHAAMOSHIYAAN TADPAANE LAGI HAIN..
CHUP REHNE OE MAJBOORIYAAN YAAD AANE LAGI HAIN..
TU BHI MERI TARAH HUNS LE ..AANSOO PALKO PE THAAM KE
JO HAI THODI KHUSHI WOH BHI..ASHQUON ME NA BEH JAAYE...

HE HAD TO MAKE NIDHI SMILE...BRING BACK THE CO
OUR OF HER DREAMS...FOR HER SAKE..FOR HIS OWN N NISHU'S SAKE...FOR THE SAKE OF THEIR LOVE..THEIR TOGETHERNESS..THEIR SUFFERING..THEIR LOSS...

Dr ashutosh brought nishu out..after he had made him kiss his mammma...nidhi had smiled...a weak pale smile..but her fingers had played with nishu's hair...Outside ashutosh sat with nishu..and told the others to see nidhi...dadibua, col verma, armaan anji n baba entered...nidhi was sitting...dadi bua said"nidhi...meri bachchi..."she had tears...in her eyes n much as she tried she could not hold them back...nidhi gazed at her but had no tears to shed...col verma came n patted her...holding her hand..he spoke"nidhi..beta himmat rakh...dekh to idhar...aaj birthday hai tera...apne baba ko smile nahi degi"??nidhi looked at col verma...n it was silence...intence deafening silence...armaan patted her...anji sat but said nothing...having been thru the trauma she knew...words of encouragement only hurt ...
As they got up to leave...nidhi raised her eye lids...n overcoming all her misery..her grief..she softly called out"baba..."col verma looked back...but nidhi was looking at baba...ashutosh's baba..the fulcrum of their home n heart...baba smiled n came to nidhi...being a dr n a father he understood what it means to lose a child...he too had suffered...his hand grazed nidhi's hair..as he looked at her...his daughter in law..."bol beta..kuch kehna chahti hai.."??nidhi spoke...softly.."baba...dr ashutosh ka khayal rakhiyega...bahut chot lagi hai unhe..."baba held nidhi..close to him...there could be no greater l8ve..no stronger commitment than this..even in her deepest pain..nidhi was thinking about ashutosh...he patted her...n came out..dr sudhir was there, waiting for the family to come out...col verma"sorry dr , we kept u waiting"sudhir smiled"dont worry...family support is v important for nidhi...kuch boli kya"??all looked at baba...ashutosh was on the edge"bataaiye baba"??baba smiled...a sad melancholy smile n said"haan..usne kaha mujhse...tera dhyaan rakhne ko..."ashutosh closed his eyes...unable to bear the agony...the thought...even in so much pain nidhi was concerned n worried about him...sainyaan...
Ashutosh handed over nishu to armaan...but for the first time nishu resisted...n cried"papa...mammma"stretching his hands...to ashutosh...the child was clearly distraught..n was missing his parents...as dadi bua tried to cajole him, he shouted n cried even more...n finally ashutosh kissed him...took his face in his hands n explained"nishu..mamma beemaar hai na...papa thodi der me aayega...chacha ke saath rehna...plz baba bhi to hain..dekho"and a misty eyed armaan took him again...n walked out quickly...woth baba...Ashutosh took a deep breath n entered the room with sudhir..sudhir examined nidhi..n looked a little shaken..."arre she has passed so many clots"n then looking up at nidhi , he asked softly"baby..pain nahi feel hota...kuch bhi nahi"??ashutosh knew...as a dr, passing clots..was v painful for a woman..he came n stood by nidhi..his eyes clearly reflecting his agony...nidhi looked at them..into them..even in this condition she knew what was crosding ashutosh's mind...she spoke...v v softly"sir..thoda back ache hai..."sudhir was frozen for a moment..but then contd with the check up..n finally as he adjusted nidhi's gown, she asked"sir..when can i go..home"??sudhir smiled...n patted her cheek"lets wait..dekhte hain...subah baat karenge..ok..ab tum sone ki koshish karo"..n he turned to ashutosh..."come hardstone..."ashutosh, looked at nidhi...as she nodded ...saying"i understand...jaayiye aap"...

In ashutosh's cabin,sudhir began"see ashutosh, the healing is there but slow hai..."ashutosh interrupted"these clots that she passed..."sudhir contemplated then spoke"its not abnormal...though d&c ke baad hona nahi chahiye...per i am sure they eill stop...what i am really worried about is her emotional state...she is still quite numb...nurse told me..she doesnt sleep...thats worrisome...it has hit her real hard...n its gonna take time...you need to be patient..."ashutosh seemed moved...but did not let the garb of strength fall..."jaanta hoon...samajhta hoon...aur mujhe pata hai..woh so kyun nahi paati...sudhir..when can she go home"??sudhir retorted with another question"do you feel sending her home d be better...she d feel secure"??ashutosh nodded"i feel...nishu hoga...i d be there too..for as much time as possible..mujhe lagta hai..known surroundings mei...puraani baatein yaad aayengi...shaayad ..uska dard kum ho...ya shaayad roye...i feel she wouldnt cry...amin she wont break down...its too deep a grief...aur usse meri fiqr hai...usse lagta hai..mai toot raha hoon...i know nidhi...i know her inside out..."sudhir smiled...n added"fine, if there is no set back..i will relieve her tomorrow evening..fine..bu be careful..at the moment she is emotionally brittle...n you have to wait...as far as a normal relationship is concerned,..."ashutosh sighed"i know sudhir...i know...n nothing ..believe me nothing matters more to me than her safety..her comfort...but sudhir..i want to know..only for her sake...can she concieve again...ever"??sudhir took a deep l8ng breath n faced ashutosh"yes..ashutosh, she can concieve again...off course she can...n maybe that is what d finally bring her out of this melancholia...but i feel another 3 to 6 months..."ashutosh nodded..."i am never going to force her...woh already mere sapno ko poora karne ki bahut badi keemat chuka rahi hai...i just wanted to know..kyunki mai jaanta hoon..woh poochegi mujhse..."

Dr ashutosh entered nidhi's room...she was nibbling with soup n sandwich...ashutosh looked at her...trying to fathom the depth of her grief...she smiled...a smile he knew to please him...he came n sat...close to her..n began to feed her...nidhi looked at him...n spoke...for the first time after the loss...she spoke to him..."suniye...nishu ro raha tha..hai na"??ashutosh nodded..."aap aaj raat ghar chale jaaiye...mai theek hoon...akhir ab aur kya hoga..."ashutosh bit his lip...realising the pain in her thoughts n words...nothing worse could happen...he spoke with an effort..."theek hai..chala jaaoonga per..ek shart hai..."nidhi gazed..."tumhe sone ki koshish karni hogi..promise"??nidhi nodded...as ashutosh got up..n holding her tired face in his hands he spoke into her eyes...not words..because none could express his feelings..his love his concern...he just kept looking n finally hugged her to him..n closed his eyes..trying to shut out everything..n everyone else...

As dr ashutosh entered home...nishu ran to him, "papaaa" ashu knew he d not wait...he picked him up..n held him close...armaan came"achcha kiya tu aa gaya ashu,..nishu miss kar raha tha..."n then caressing nishu he said.."rona nahi ab...papa aa gaya na tumhara..bolo"?n nishu giggled n kissed armaan on his cheek...the moment was divine...as ashu realised the selfless love of armaan..for nishu, he knew armaan loved nishu deeply..doted on him...but also knew that for a child, no one could replace the parents...ashu felt overwhelmed at the selflessness of armaan's love...here was a friend who only knew to give..not to take...ashu was shaken out of the trance by armaan"jaao bhai...aona nahi nahi kar ke aao...jaldi..."ashu smiled as he carried nishu inside...as they stood under the shower..nishu played with the drops...while ashu..let the watr fall on his body...parched by grief...he wanted to just feel the sensation of the water falling on him...mixing with his tears...as they flowed..camouflaged in the shower...grieving for his nidhi...for the agony that she was facing...for the tears that remained unshed...n yes for the dream that remained unfulfilled...nishu pulled at ashu's shorts...'chalo papa..."ashu seemed mesmerised...this was the forst sentence that nishu had strung together...he came out of the shower n as he wiped nishu, he asked"kya bola nishu..phir se kaho"n nishu smiled..raised his eyebrow n repeated"chalo papa...mammma paas"ashutosh could not move for a moment...the child had put forth his desire so simply...He changed nishu into the night suot , n then changed himself...n took nishu to their wedding photo...as nishu gazed, ashu's hands..touched nidhi's face..n he whispered"beta..kal ghar aa jayegi tumhari mamma...kal..."n nishu hugged ashu...seeming to understand all...At dinner..ashu answered baba's questioning eyes..."mujhse bhi thoda boli...kaha ghar jane ko...per weak bahut ho gayee hai...baba...kaise theek hogi..kaise niklegi iss sadme se...i donnt know...said ashutosh..as he refused the roti that maxi..her eyes red with tears had brought..baba patted ashu"ashu...jab bhagwaan dukh deta hai na...to usse sehan karne ki shakti bhi deta hai..."Ashu kept quiet..as armaan forced another roti..."kha ashu..tu bhi beemaar hogaya..to nidhi ko kaun sambhalega..bata..try to be logical plz"...
In the bedroom, ashu was trying to lul nishu..but he was not sleepy...just as ashu knew , nidhi must be lying awake...on her bed...ashu hummed...inadvertantly..."mere ghar aayi...ek nanhi pari...oooh..mere.."n then realised...the baby..for whom this song was sung...was gone..gone without a trace..not even a memory...ashu switched off the light, n held nishu to him...making him sleep in their bed tonite...he needed the comfort of their son...their nishu...

In the hospital, nidhi kept thinking...how d life be...??why did this happen...she recalled baba's words when ashutosh had been kidnapped"ashu ne kisi ka bura nahi kiya..to uska bura kyun hoga..."??she wanted to ask god..why did ashutosh have to suffer so much...n why was that tiny life snatched away..even before it could bloom..there were no answers...none at all..nidhi tried closing her tired eyes...but the darkness that emerged befor her closed eyes was eerie...the same forms...the dark skies...n the voice of a aby girl..."mammmaaa"nidhi opened her eyes...pained..agonised n tearless...no she could not sleep...she shuddered...
In their bedroom, ashutosh suddenly awoke...his heart seemed to be racing...he had suddenly realised..why nidhi was unable to sleep...it was her nightmare that had turned true...ashutosh looked at the peacefully sleeping nishu..n then looked at nidhi in their wedding pic...he seemed to be saying..."hey doc...kal,..bus kal tak ka intezaar karo...kal hum saath honge...kal mai sulaoonga tumhari thaki aankhon ko...just wait...

Dr ashutosh awoke and spread his hand instinctively...to feel nidhi..but he touched lil nishu instead..sleeping holding on to his mamma's pillow...ashu smiled...was nishu also getting nidhi's familiar smell from the pillow as ashutosh himself got??ashutosh went to freshen up quietly and then began to dress, he had two surgeries coming up ...as he stood in front of the mirror, he saw nidhis bangles..numerous colourful ones...he recalled hoe after marriage she used to weae them..many of them...n once in his passion ,he had broken one ..injuring her hand...ashutosh bit his lip...as he touched the coloured glass circles...trying to hear the jingle...that was so familiar in the initial months ...after nishu ofcourse nidhiwore only the diamond bangles that baba had given her...ashutosh heard nishu get up...the boy smiled"papaaa" ] ashu held him..n then spoke"nishu aaj tumhari mamma ghar aayengi..good boy van jaana...ok"??nishu clapped n jumped"mammma aagi..mammma'n ashu followed him, explaining things to baba n giving instructions to maxi to arrange things in the bedroom n washroom, and then he remembered n went in again, to pack nidhi's gown, nightie,...n other essentials...it was a torment opening her wardrobe...feeling her silks n cottons..her blues..n purples..pinks...while she herself lay so shrivelled n colourless...ashutosh took the needed things n shut the wardrobe...as he was telling baba"dekhiye , hopefully aaj aajayegi ghar .."armaan called"arre ashu kuch kha to le..."ashutosh looked back n said"nahi usi ke saath karoonga..shaayad mere saath kuch khaaye...bahut weight lose kiya hai...usne"n he drove off...thinking ..dreaming of nidhi's return...his home without nidhi was so lifeless...she was the spirit of things...ashu wondered how he had survived so many years without her...no wonder he had been so bitter..lonely...n sad...dr hardstone..till she arrived..n waved her magic wand of love...Drashutosh parked his car in kgh n was walking in the corridoor, nodding to the patients n staff who stood up to wish him...most of them knew of the couple's loss...n admired that inspite of everything..he was at work..saving lives..dr ranganath came"sir...two surgeries lined up, you are booked till 4 in the afternoon, then u are free..."ashutosh nodded, i know ranganath..i think i have an hour ..i will spend it with nidhi...i have read the case history ..dont worry i m prepared...by the way who is assisting me"??"dr ahana in the first n dr jyothika in the second one sir..."ashutosh mused"n o.p.d."???"dr megha...should come..."dr ranganath saw dr ashutosh's eyes flare red,...as he looked away n calle luxmi bai"luxmi bai,nidhi ka breakast le aaiye..aur mere liye bhi ...poha ya kuch bhi...aur coffee"n ashutosh walked with firm steps into nidhi's room...
Nidhi seemed uncomfortable, he went to her quickly...his eyes questioning her..."plz sister ko bula deejiye..."said nidhi...ashu raised an eyebrow..."wash room jaana hai...ya...phir you need a change..."??nidhi lowered her eyelids...embarrassed she whispered"i need a change...kaafi bleeding ho rahi hai..."ashutosh put his palm on her forehead..."dont worry...i will do it..."and proceeded without bothering to nidhi's requests...as he returned after washing his hands...he could see the shame in her eyes...of making him do all this...he smiled...n making her sit..he remarked"main nahi karoonga to kaun karega...n there are no clots...kaisa feel kar rahi ho...i hope sudhir permit kar degaaaj ghar jaane ko..."the breakfast had arrived n s nidhi had her porridge,..dr ashutosh was surprised...she used to hate it...now probably it didnt matter to her...as she almost finished...ashutosh asked"ice cream khani hai..."??nidhi shook her head saying no...ashutosh seemed stunned...just a few weeks back she had said"agar ice cream ko mana kar doo...to samajh leejiye nidhi marr gayee"!!!ashutosh looked away...but then there was no looking away...as baba had said , it was his war n he had to win it...for his nidhi..for their nishu...for their home...He made her lie n began to press her back..slowly but firmly...and a low moan of pain escaped her lips...ashutosh looked at her face...ashen..dark circles around eyes..his titli seemed to have lost her colours...ashutosh looked at his watch...nidhi smiled faintly"aap jaaiye...surgery hai..hai na"??ashutosh nodded...it was v tough being a dr...at times..he got up, called luxmi bai n explained things to her, gave her nidhi's clothes n patted nidhi "sudhir aayega 3,30 pe..mujhe to 4 baj jaayenge..."nidhi didnt say anything...but as he reached the door, she called"suniye"...ashu came back...nidhi did not say anything...just held his hand...for a moment...n then withdrew...she knew he had to go...ashutosh found it v hard to go...but for a dr that too a surgeon...patients always come first...

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There was a knock at dr ranganath's cabin n he said"come in.."in walked dr megha...dr megha came from a lower middle class family, she had fought gender bias n dearth of money to get to the medical college...but once she became one...she seemed consumed with the desire to earn money n enjoy life...dedication was a word she had long forgotten...she always envied ahaana for being born a rich father's daughter...n nidhi even more for she believed that nidhi had "hooked"ashutosh for his wealth n status...dr ranganath asked...keeping his temper in control"so dr megha..hospital ki yaad jaise aayee aapko..tabiyat to theek hai na"!!megha was sharp enough to understand the sarcasm in his voice ...she replied"sir..i was unwell..."ranganath raised his voice"i see...no wonder dr jyothika saw you enjoying at hazrat ganj..when you should have been here..infact at choubeypur..."megha snarled back"dr ranganath..maine mbbs, gaaon ki dhool phaankne ke liye nahi kiya tha...samjhe"dr ranganath replied"sir...call me sir..n aapko kuch ehsaas hai...aapki irresponsible attitude ki wajah se..dr nidhi ko jaana pada...n i am sure u know kitna suffer kar rahi hain woh..."megha didnt seem affected"oh come on sir...she has just had a miscarriage ..heavens have not fallen..she can have another baby...i am sure dr ashutosh..her prize catch will only be too willing to oblige..."dr ranganath almost screamed"plz stop this nonsense dr megha"megha..smiled n contd."kyun sir...dr nidhi ke dedication ke kisse to mashhoor hain...dedicated na hoti to apne se 18 saal bade chief neuro surgeon...millionaire dr ashutosh ko hook kaise karti...aap hi bataaiye"????
There was a sound nthe door of the cabin opened..in walked dr dubey..his eyes red in anger..as a shameless smiling megha stood up n said"oh hullo sir...i am back..."dr dubey looked at her with eyes that would have made anyone shiver n shudder ..but megha wasmade of a different material...dr dubey spoke .."maine sun liya sabkuch..jo aapne kaha..dr nidhi ke baare mei..."megha feigned "sir maine kya galat kaha...aakhir dr ashutosh unke jaal me phans to gaye na...poor him...aur dr nidhi ..unki to mauj hai..crorepati ki wife hain..country ke best surgeon ki...aur kisi bhi ladki ko kya chahiye...paisa..rutba..status...sab to hai...aur phir dr ashutosh...thode bade hain...per he is a hunk,,.."dr dubey thumped the table throwing the file he was carrying,"tum jaanti kya ho..nidhi ashutosh ke baare mei...pata kya hai tumhe..batao to..kabhi dekha hai nidhi ne kaise badla hai ashutosh ko...ghar jaake dekho unke..kaise poore parivaar ko samet ke rakhahai..dr nidhi ne...um sochti ho nidhi ...khair jaane do...i cant talk at your level dr megha...n coming to the point...here is your letter for explanation...plz explain your conduct ..in writing..n then we shall see...n go n report to dr priyanka..you do not deserve independent charge..Get out..this instant...
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Dr ashutosh emerged from the o.t having completed both the surgeries successfully..he tried to move past the grateful relatives..who blessed him...if blessings could work...thought he..As he walked, dr ranganath came.."sir...""yes dr ranganath..job completed successfully...now shift them to icu...n phone me if there is any problem..tell dr deepak..i think he is on night duty..haan..has sudhir come"???dr ranganath spoke"sir..he is examining dr nidhi...but has told you to wait...n sir..."ashutosh raised an eyebrow"yes dr ranganath..any problem..."???"sir woh dr megha aayee hain...dr dubey has asked for her explanation...now you will have to meet her..."dr ashutosh, throwing his jacket around...said"send her in..."his eyes blazing in anger...There was a knock at dr ashutosh's cabin n in walked dr megha...resplendant in her insolence..Dr ashutosh looked uo..n spoke in an icy voice that could cut thru like a knife"yes dr megha...have you explained..."??megha looked up, running her hands thru her hair...glamourously..."yes..sir...n i really feel dr nidhi should not have gone to choubeypur...i am sorry that you lost your baby...all due to her foolishness...anyway..let me know where is my duty..."??dr ashutosh replied crisply..."dr megha...you dont have to give your opinion about dr nidhi..dont forget..apart from being a jr dr she is also my wife...n now get out n report to dr priyanka...you will work under her..for the next 6 months.."as megha tried to explain, dr ashutosh raised his finger"enough...now plz get out.."

As ashutosh sat , trying to regain his composure...as dr sudhir entered...ashutosh stood up..."ashutosh..you can take her...but keep giving the medicines i have prescribed...we ll meet next week again...n yes an advice...sex is a taboo for a week...but dont keep away entirely...your touch can be a therapy...but its a thin line...be careful..let her not have that feeling of rejection...understand"??ashutosh nodded..n shook hands...as sudhir left...n ashutosh entered nidhi's room.

She was dressed in her purple gown...laxmi bai had tied her hair in a plait...it was the first time ashutosh was seeing her in a choti...she seemed like a college girl...she was young,..v young...indeed..n so much of agony...ashutosh walked up..told luxmi bai to keep the things in his car..and then made nidhi stand ..holding her firmly by the waist..slowly they emerged...as nurses n drs stood watching the two...dr ashutosh opened his cabin..."thoda baitho...let ranganath get the discharge papers..."nidhi sat on the chair...as ashutosh rung ranganath...n observed nidhi carefully ..through the corner of hus eye...she sat there...looking at his chair...n then she just put her head down on the table...dr ranganath came in...with the papers..dr ashutosh signed the cheque..n came to nidhi...caressing her head, he looked at her,..she was nt asleep..just lost.."nidhi ghar chalein...nishu wait kar raha hoga,.."she stood up n as they came out...she kept looking back at the cabin..."ashutosh..."it was dr dubey..hurrying thru the corridoor...ashu nidhi stopped...dr dubey put his hand on nidhi's head..n said"dr nidhi...kgh ko aur mujhe tumhara intezaar rahega...jaldi theek hona hai tumhe...god bless you..aur milne aaoonga...khana khilaaogi...baking soda nahi daalna phir se..."nidhi gave a weak smile ...as dr dubey looked at ashutosh , pensively...accompanying them till the car,.along with dr ranganath..."good night sir"said ashutosh..as nidhi lowered her head...n they drove home...

As soon as the car stopped , nishu ran out screaming"mamm,a aagi..mamma'n came n hugged nidhi...ashu lifted him as baba maxi n armaan all came,armaan admonished nishu for running out alone...n the naughty boy tried to hide behind baba...nidhi entered..holding nishu's hand...n then he was gone...reappearing with all the toys that armaan had bought for him in these four days..nidhi smiled..as he showed each one"mamma..dekho..chacha toy"...maxi had laid the dinner..n nidhi fed nishu...eating v little herself...ashutosh was observing...n as armaan nudged him..he nodded n asked maxi to get some kheer..n as it came...baba told nidhi"chalo ab nishu ka ho gaya...tu kha ab...chal..."n he indicated to ashu...but nidhi began to take small portions herself...as baba watched intently... n ashu sadly...

In the bedroom, nishu climbed on to the bed...as nidhi began to pat him...lulling some melody that ashutosh could not recognise...nishu slept...his arm around his mammma...ashutosh picked him n took him to the nursey...as he returned, he saw nidhi lying...looking at their wedding photo...her eyes dead tired...ashutosh came close...n opened his arms...inviting her to sleep in his arms,..like one night during mallika's stay...nidhi had asked"bus aapke saath sona chahti hoon..."n ashutosh had enveloped her in his arms...today too he did the same...held nidhi close...a tired weak..fragile nidhi...he pulled out the band holding her plat n began running his fingers thru her hair...as she slowly closed her eyes...ashutosh planted moist kisses on her eyes...n watched as she drifted into the land of peaceful sleep...ashutosh kept holding her...knowing no nightmare to come...if she felt his presence...his touch...
Ashutosh kept holding nidhi...pulling her to his chest...n slowly ..v slowly , he could feel her relaxing...her hair falling on her face...n on his chest...as he pushed them away..n looked at her...he saw...two big tears falling from her eyes...ashutosh did not wipe the tears...he let them flow...this was probably the only cure to her agony...only tears could wipe away the dark soot of pain...n then pave way to a new begining...a new dream...a beautiful one...