DESTINY'S COURSE chap 8 parts 1&2 updtd 1/6 page 130 - Page 94

Chapter 8

"I am pregnant!"

Ashutosh went still. He was not sure he had heard her correctly.

"What...? Nidhi what did you just say?"

Nidhi looked at him nervously and licked her lips, which had suddenly gone dry.

"I'm pregnant."

Ashutosh closed his eyes and turned around. His heart was hammering loudly, rejoicing at what he had just been told, but at the same time his mind telling him that just a few minutes ago her being pregnant had been the last thing that he had wanted. Caught between the two he did not know what to say to her, or how to react. His heart won. A child he thought with wonder. His child, his and Nidhi's... Now there would be a part of her that would always belong to him and be with him, whether she was there or not. He knew that Nidhi was waiting for him to say something and that at the moment there was no way he would be able to hide his emotions from her. So, Ashutosh took a deep breath and turned back around again.

Nidhi, who had been waiting anxiously for him to say something, breathed in relief. Everything that she could have hoped for, joy, happiness, excitement...everything...was there on his face, as plain as daylight. But there along with all of that, was also a light in his eyes that she had never seen before. Not in all the time she had known him had she seen his eyes lit up like that, and she prayed to god that this light would forever stay lit. She prayed that their child would bring his father as much happiness 50 years from now, as just the news of his coming into the world had brought him today, and much more. Though she would not be there to see it, she would be able to feel it, no matter where or far away she was. She would always feel it, and them. Her heart would always know. And knowing that they were happy would be enough to make her happy.

Nidhi was startled when she felt his hand on her shoulder shaking her gently. She looked up at him, "Ji. Aapne kuch kaha?"

Ashutosh chuckled, "Haan, par tum kissi aur duniya mein khoyi hui thi. I was just asking if you were sure. I mean picchle mahine toh tumne kaha tha ke you were not. And now... "

She blushed,"Haan. Mujhe bhi yehi laga tha. Woh kya hain na... Actually... Woh...last month jo bleeding hui thi, it was very light. I just thought ke kabhi kabhi ho jaata hai so I never gave it a second thought. Phir abhi ek do hafte se I was not feeling too well. Thode chakkar se aate the, and a bit of heartburn. I just passed it off as stress. Par kal Anji forced me go and see the doctor, and that was when I found out. I am about 8-9 weeks along."

"And doctor ne aur kya kaha...I mean other than confirming the pregnancy. Is everything alright?"

"Ji. Everything is fine."

"Par last month jo bleeding hui woh? What about that? Is there anything to worry about? Bleeding is not a good sign."

"Nahin kuch phikr karne ki baat nahin hai, baby bilkul theek hai. And haan, bleeding is not normal, but some women do. Kabhi kabhi there is no explanation for it. But, the Doctor did do a thorough check up and a sonogram, just to be sure. Everything was normal. She even showed me the heartbeat. Sirf thoda sa easy lene ko bola unhone, and kuch vitamins etc. prescribe karin hain. Of course the normal precautions that are observed during pregnancy have to be taken, but other than that, I can carry on as normal."

"Theek hai. I am glad. Par I think that I will also have a brief talk with her tomorrow, just to be sure. Tum Purnima ke paas hi gayi thi na, yaa Dr.Raana ke paas?"

"Uss samay Dr. Purnima was not available, woh delivery mein thi. So I met with Dr. Raana. She is very nice."

"Yes, she is very nice. It's just that Purnima and her husband are friends of mine. She and I went to medical school together. I can ask her to take over your case, I am sure Dr. Raana will not mind."

(Both were trying to make small talk to try to cover the awkwardness between them, when all either one wanted was to be near each other)

"Ashutosh...I...I think that I would prefer to stay with Dr. Raana... If its alright with you, that is..."

"Oh. Oh no I have no problem, I just thought... Koi baat nahin hai. Whomever you feel more comfortable with is more important."

"Thank you...". Nidhi's voice trailed off, and she lowered her face to stare at the floor.

There was brief silence as neither knew what to say to the other. Feeling curious about what Ashutosh was doing, Nidhi lifted her face to look... He was just standing there, exactly as he been since she had given him the news, only the earlier emotions that had been there before were gone. If anything he looked as if he were a million miles away... This aloofness of his hurt more than she could ever say. Ashutosh had given brief glimpse of how he felt, but he had managed to mask quickly enough, too. Nidhi had this sudden urge of going up to him and shaking him... She wanted to see how he would react to that. But knowing him he would probably give her one of those mocking looks of his and ask her, in a completely calm voice, if she was feeling alright. And now that she was pregnant, she would not put it past him to chalk her behavior up to hormones.

Why couldn't he trust her? Why couldn't he for once pretend that they were a normal married couple and let her in? Why did he feel the necessity to constantly hide his feelings? Why couldn't he give her a chance, give their marriage a chance? All these questions were churning around inside her mind, making her feel so overwrought that she nearly screamed them aloud. She had enough love for the both of them. And now with their baby coming, they had a chance to become a real family. She just needed him to give her a sign that he wanted that too... Just one small tiny sign and she would spend the rest of her life doing everything she could make him happy.

Growing up, like any young girl, she had often dreamed of the day when she would get married and have children. Having lost her mother at a very young age herself, Nidhi knew how important having a mother was. She had vowed to herself that, should she die young as her mother had, her child would always remember her and her love, just as she remembered her mother's. She would lavish all the love she had on her child, so much so that he/she would feel her presence and her love, even after she was gone. She had dreamed of the moment when she found out she was pregnant, and over the years she had come up with a million different scenarios of just how she would tell her husband. The only common thing in all her thoughts had been her husbands reaction. She had dreamed of how her husband would have a huge goofy grin on his face, and his eyes would light up with excitement and happiness. She had imagined how wonderful it would feel when he would rush up to her and sweep her off her feet and hold her tightly against himself.

Of course when she had married Ashutosh she knew that that would never happen, but she had never thought that he would act so nonchalant about the news either. Yet a hope, a small, silly, tiny hope that he would prove her wrong, had festered in some hidden part of her foolish heart. It was that and her love for Ashutosh that had not let her totally give up on her dreams, or him, until now... Seeing him standing so near, yet still be so far away, trying to look anywhere but in her direction, made her realize that the distances between were in their hearts, not in how close or how far they were standing from each other. They could not be measure in the tangible. And with that realization, any hopes she might have been clinging to were shattered, destroying all her dreams.

Ashutosh was also suffering. He wanted nothing more than to bridge the gap between them, put his arms around her and hold her tightly against himself and never let her go. He wanted to tell her he loved her. He wanted to tell het how precious she was to him, that she was his life and that he could not even imagine his life without her, and that the thought of their child growing inside of her was filling him with awe and wonder, and so much happiness that it was hard to contain it. Ashutosh wanted to touch her stomach and introduce himself to his baby, and tell it how loved and wanted it was. He wanted to make love to Nidhi and celebrate the miracle they had created...

But, he could not do any of those things, and he definitely could not tell her he loved her. After all that he had put her through, he doubted that she would ever want his love. And no matter how much he wanted it, or however much he wished and prayed for it she probably would not want him to be a part of her life. Not after the way he had treated her. No amount of yearning on his part could ever make her love him. But, she would love their child. That much he was sure of. Nidhi would never let her dislike for him carry over to the baby. Although the fact still remained that this situation had been forced onto her. Her the pregnancy was part of a legal contract between them, it was an obligation that she had to fulfill before she could move forward with the rest of her life. So even though it was not wanted, he guessed that Nidhi must be feeling relieved about the pregnancy.

The thought of their child filled him with elation and a heady sense of anticipation, but at the same time the thought that as soon as it was born he would loose Nidhi made him feel miserable. Earlier, he had come to the conclusion that he needed to stop being selfish, and even though it would be hard he had to let her go. And, as soon as he had reached that decision he had realized that the moment she left his life would cease to have any meaning. Of course now it was different. Their Baby would give his life a new meaning and a purpose.

Several minutes went by without either saying a word, then not being able to bear it any longer, and not wanting him to see the pain his continued distance was causing. Realizing that the tears she had been trying to hold back were about to seep out from behind her closed lids, she turned away tried to compose herself. Taking a deep breath she tried to get a grip on her feelings, "Baba, Maa, Please be with me now," she prayed silently," I need you both as I have never needed you before. I need you to give me strength to get through the next months... Please." Then taking another deep breath Nidhi hastily wiped her tears, and turned back, "Ashutosh mai soch rahi thi..." she started to speak, but stopped. There was no need to say anything. In fact, there had been no need to hide her tears or her pain. There was no one there that she needed to hide it from. Ashutosh was not in the room, he had left. A red haze settled over her senses. Somehow it did not surprise her that he had left the minute her back was turned. "He had gotten what he had wanted had from her, hadn't he?" she thought bitterly. He was going to get his precious baby. He had done his job and gotten her pregnant, he did not need to be near her anymore.

But he had wanted her... Inexperienced as she was, she knew that had. There was no way she could have misjudged that. The way he had touched her...the way he had trembled at her touch... No! He had wanted her. And it had not been one sided, she had wanted him desperately too, in fact, she still did. And if she was honest with herself, it was she who had been the one to make the first move. And, like any normal red blooded male, he had taken what she had offered him. So why was she blaming him for everything, now. "Aakhir duniya mein kaunsa aisa mard hai, who would say no if a woman offered herself to him as blatantly and shamelessly, as I did", Nidhi muttered to herself. She all served herself up on a silver platter to him.

Lekin, with her pregnancy becoming a reality and the knowledge that his was baby on the way, the reason/need for any sort intimacy had also disappeared, along with any desire that he had possibly had. "But..." she paused for a second, "I am being a bit unfair. Ashutosh's desire burned out much before I found out about the baby...hadn't it?" she asked herself rhetorically. The fact was that Ashutosh had not touched her after that last time a couple of months back, nor had he shown any inclination that he wanted too. Aur ab toh baat hi kuch aur thi. The reason Ashutosh and she had been intimate, did not exist anymore. And similarly once the baby was born, neither would their marriage. They had married because Ashutosh had wanted Nidhi to give him a child in exchange for financial help during her father's illness. So, for their family's sake, and because social norms dictated that that was the only way Ashutosh could have a child who would be accepted and welcomed, without being tied down to anyone for the rest of his life. They marriage would put the stamp of legitimacy on the child, prevent it from being the object of ridicule and pity for the rest of his/her life.

Out of anyone, she had never imagined that it would be her who would be the one to end up the one with a broken marriage. She had always been of the conviction that she would marry and love only one person in life, and that it would be forever. During her college and medical school years she had seen her friends fall in and out of love multiple times, pairing up with multiple partners, in the hope of finding "The One". Some relationships had worked out, and were still thriving today, one the other hand, many had fizzled out. Some had ended on a civil note, some were ended by mutual consent. But some partings had had extremely bitter and tragic consequences. She had learned from her friends' experiences and come to the conclusion that desire by itself was not a strong enough motive to continue with, or keep a relationship alive. Love, affection, caring, understanding, and trust, between two people had to be be there too. The "want" without love was just lust, and lust was never a strong enough emotion to keep two people bound to each other. She come to realize that lust was a finite and transient emotion that always burned itself out in the end. And, she had vowed that she would never enter into any relationship just because she was attracted to somebody. She had promised herself that her commitment to someone would be life long and it would be based on love. Nidhi did not want Ashutosh to tie himself to her because of the baby, or some misplaced sense of guilt or responsibility he felt towards her. She wanted his love, and she wanted him to want her love back in return, too. It was all or nothing! Since that was an impossibility because all he wanted from her was the baby, Nidhi knew that she would have to find the courage to walk away from him as soon as the baby was born.

Nidhi wondered what it would have been like if he had married her just for her sake...alone... But the next instant she shook her head and chided herself, " What the hell am I thinking? Main bhi bilkul paagal hoon. How can I even think this way? Akhir kyon karte mujhse shaadi? Aisi kya khaas baat hai mujhmein jo Ashutosh meri taraf dobara kabhi dekhte bhi", she told herself sternly. Calming down, she realized that other than the fact that she had been just another intern working under him at the same hospital, he had no connection or obligations, to either her or her father. There had been absolutely no need for him to help her. And, Ashutosh being who he was, an extremely handsome, successful, and well known Neurosurgeon...well, he could have gotten anybody to be a surrogate for his child. He knew women who were much more beautiful, sophisticated, who were more worldly and knew how to keep a man's attention, better than her. She was nothing in front of them. No...no he had not needed to do anything for her, but he had. So instead of blaming him, she should be grateful to him. Which she was. She was very grateful to him for that, and she would always be, for everything he had done for her, and for her father.

Although she understood that it was not Ashutosh's fault and that it was not fair on her part to make him out to be the bad guy, Nidhi still could not help the feeling of resentment welling up inside her. She fully acknowledged that he had more than lived up to his end of their bargain. She also knew that it was only fair that she reciprocate, because it was now her turn. She knew what she had been getting into when she had signed the contract. Ashutosh had been very upfront and honest about everything. However to be fair to herself also, at the time she had agreed to this arrangement, the only thing on her mind had been her father and his illness. All that had mattered to her was making sure his last days were comfortable and peaceful ones. She had neither cared, nor had she been able to think or rationalize anything beyond that. But now...(she swallowed the lump in her throat and brought her hand to rest on her stomach protectively) now the enormity of what she had promised Ashutosh suddenly registered. Not only had she just lost her father, she was about to loose her baby as well. So along with the the realization that she needed to be fair to Ashutosh, there was also feelings of resentment building up inside of her. Resentment that at the end of the day, other than money, Ashutosh would not be losing anything. He would have both his father and his aunt, and their child, whereas she would be left empty handed and alone, without anyone to call her own.

Her heart continuing to break, Nidhi moved like an automaton towards her bed, turning off the main lights before laying down. She drew the blankets over herself and curled up like a baby on her side and closed her eyes shut, making no attempt to wipe the tears that seeped out and ran down her cheeks sparkling like diamonds in the dim light of the night lamp, as they halted for a brief second on her face before continuing on to soak into her pillow.

As she lay miserable upstairs, Ashutosh was sitting downstairs in the dark, lost in her thoughts.

He had seen Nidhi's face. He passed his hand roughly though his hair, as the image of the way she had squeezed her eyes as the tears had seeped out from beneath her lashes. She had looked so sad as she had tried to hide her emotions in an effort to prevent him from seeing how upset she was. He had seen the pain Nidhi had been trying to hide, but like her, he misunderstood the reasons. He thought that her suffering was because she felt helpless at her situation, and that she blamed him for it. That was why he had hurried out of the room. He could bear to see her like that, and he knew that if he stayed any longer he would end up on his knees in front of her begging her not to leave him. He would have not only put her in a difficult position, he have also made a total fool out of himself in the process. So, he did the only thing he could have at that moment, he had walked away. He could not be selfish and ask her to sacrifice her life and her happiness for his sake or the baby's. Ashutosh had come to know her enough to know that she would, and that too without a moments hesitation. But he knew that she had sacrificed too much already, and he would not...no he could not ask her to sacrifice anymore of her life. And besides, he did not want to keep her with him that way. He wanted her love. Ashutosh wanted her to stay because she loved him enough to stay, not because she had been forced or guilted into it.

After he closed the door to their bedroom, Ashutosh walked softly up to where she lay as if pulled by some invisible string, and crouched down next to where she lay on the bed, and stared at her. Her beautiful face was illuminated by the soft nightlight of the lamp, but a lock of hair that had fallen forward was covering her eyes. As he tenderly brushed the hair away, Ashutosh noticed her tear soaked pillow, and her still moist cheeks. His own eyes filled with tears and spilled over as he saw the ravages of her grief. Ashutosh stood up slowly and walked over to the sofa and lay down. He had no idea what he could do that would take her pain away. An abortion was out of the question, there was no way Nidhi would ever agree to that, but if that was what it have taken to bring the light back into her eyes, then for her sake he would have been willing to agree for that also... He felt helpless.

She wanted her freedom, and he wanted that for her too, but until the baby came that was now an impossibility, so the next best thing was that during the rest of her pregnancy and until the day she left he would do everything in his power to make sure that she was as comfortable as possible. He would do everything to make her happy. If she wanted him to stay away from her then that was exactly what he would do, was his last thought right before his eyes closed and he drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

The next morning Ashutosh had already left by the time Nidhi woke up. But she knew immediately that he had not slept on the bed. She could tell by the indents the he had slept on the sofa. By the time she got herself ready to go down she resigned herself to the fact that she would have to get used to and bear with his attitude towards her. Nidhi schooled her expression as she walked downstairs and turned into the dining room, where she knew tat both Baba and Bhua would be waiting for her to have breakfast.

As soon as she entered she purposely avoided looking at Ashutosh and went straight to where Baba sat, at the head of the table, and touched his feet. After Getting his blessings, she walked over to Bhua, who sat on her brother's right side, and did the same. Then bracing herself she straightened up and smiled at the two of them, before walking over to where Ashutosh sat, opposite Bhua on his father's left, and sat down next to him.

Then looking at Baba and Bhua she said,"Baba, I have to go to Anji's house before I head to the hospital, issliye mujhe abhi ghar se jaldi nikalna hoga. Par mai shyaam ko jaldi aa jaungi. Aaj I have a light shift, and in all probability mera kaam 3-4 baje tak khatm ho jayega."

"Chal yeh toh bahut accha hoga. Main abhi Bhaisahab se keh rahi thi ke mujhe mandir jaana hai tere saath. Maine koi mannat mangni hai, toh mandir jaakar ke sankalp karna tha. Main toh tujhse poochne hi waali thi ke tu kiss din thodi jaldi ghar sakti hai, par mujhe bolna hi nahin pada.

Chal phir, main aur tu aaj shyaam ko hi darshan karke aatein hain."

"Ji Bhua. Koi problem nahin. Aap jab kahengi hum tab hi chal lenge."

"Par bacche tu abhi itni subha Anji ke gar kyon jaa rahi hai? Sab theek toh hai naa wahan?"

" Bhuaji, aisi koi baat nahin hai. Saab theek hai. Aur agar mera bas challa toh sab aur bhi theek ho jayega...shayad aapko koi khush khabar bhi sunane ko mille."

"Kya matlab? Kaisi khush khabar."

"Woh toh surprise hai. Agar sab theek thaak raha toh main wahan se nikalte hi sab se pehele aapko phone kar dungi."

"Par..."

"Arre Saroj, bar kar abhi. Bahu ne keh toh diya woh humein phone kar degi. Ab bacchi ka man hai ke woh humein surprise kare, toh issmein kya problem hai? Thoda sabr karna seekho."

"Haan haan Bhaisahab. Par mujhse sabr nahin kari jaati."

"Bhua I promise aapko accha lagega. Par abhi mai chalti hoon."

She was about to get up from the table when,

"Arre aise kaise. Kuch khaa kar toh jaa. Bina khaaye tujhe nahin jaane doongi."

"Bhuaji, Anji ke saath hi khaa lungi. I know Aunty ne bhi breakfast tayyar kaar rakkha hoga."

"Nahin tu kuch bhi kahe, munh jhoota kiya bina tu kahin nahin jaa sakti. Bura shagun hota hai. Accha chal, ek cup chai peele. Khaa wahin lena. Main dal kar deti hoon..."

Bhua was about to reach for the tea pot when Ashutosh spoke up.

"Bhua chai nahin, aaj se Nidhi roz dhoodh peeyegi."

"Kyon bhai. Aisa kya hua Ashu? Aaj achaanak dhoodh... Nidhi betaa teri tabiyat toh theek hai na? (Bhua rushed over to Nidhi and put her hand on Nidhi's forehead to check her temperature, before looking at her from head to toe.) Bol bacche kya hua? Ashu Kya hua meri bahu ko?"

Meanwhile Dr. Mathur, who had also been surprised at Ashutosh's matter of fact statement, had been silent and had been observing both Ashutosh and Nidhi. He had seen the tender look in Ashutosh's eyes as he watched his Bhua make a fuss over his wife, and he had seen a delicate blush suffuse Nidhi's face, and also her lowered eyes. He had a pretty good guess of what the situation was.

After a couple of minutes, he started chuckling,"Saroj, dhoodh peene ke liye bola hai, jung par jaane ke liye nahin. Aur tu kisi ko bolne ka mauka degi toh koi kuch batayega na. Ek ke baad ek sawal pooche jaa rahi hai. Ab bahu ko chod and zara shaanth hoja aur thoda saans le, nahin toh nahin toh jis hissaab se tu usse jhinjod rahi hai bechaari ke saare daanth hil jayenge. Iss se pehle ke teri Bhua phir se panic karne lage, tu bol Ashu. Is there anything you need to tell us?"

Then getting up from his chair he walked up to Nidhi and put his arms around her and brought her close gently and then put a hand on her head," Kyon Nidhi? Koi baat hai kya beta?"

Nidhi blushed even more, and hid her face against her father-in-law's chest. Dr. Mathur raised his eyes to his son and looked at him with a gentle questioning smile.

Ashutosh looked at Nidhi, and then at his Bhua, who had still not caught on. Then looking his father straight in the eye, "Aap aur Bhua Dada Dadi banane waale hain."

Dr. Mathur grinned happily at having his suspicions confirmed. He held Nidhi's shoulders, and drew back to look at her.

"Meri Baacchi main bataa nahin sakta tune mujhe aaj kitni khushi di hai. Iss khabar ko sunane ke liye barson se taras raha tha..."

Just then her yes filled up. Nidhi lowered her face quickly, but Dr. Mathur had seen the tears.

"Kya hua Beta? Tu Rohan kyon rahi hai? Bata beta kya baat hai?"

"Nahin Baba, aisi koi baat nahin... Bas Baba ki yaad aa gayi..."

Dr. Mathur hugged her tightly and then drew back and smiled at her, "Main samajhta hoon beta. But I know that he is here with you in spirit. Aur Bacche main bhi toh tera Baba hoon. Hai na?"

Nidhi nodded and blinked her eyes and wiped her cheeks.

"Theek hai toh phir ab issi baat ar mujhe promise kar ke tu royegi nahin, and tujhe jab bhi tere Baba ki yaad aayegi tu mere pas aayegi. Hunh?"

"Ji Baba. promise karti hoon."

"Thank you Beta. I am so proud of you."

"Baba mai chaloon. Nahin toh hospital pahunchne mein der ho jayegi. Aur Anji mere liye wait kar rahi hogi."

"Haan Beta..."

"Koi haan nahin Bhaisahab. Ab toh yeh bilkul bhi nahin jaa sakti jab tak kuch khaa na le. Suna tune Ladki. Ab aise kaam nahi chalega. AB tujhe khayal rakkhna padega. Aise idhar udhar bhaaga daudi bilkul nahin. Mere khayal se toh hosital bhi nahin jaana chahiye..."

"Bhua yeh aap..."

Dr. Mathur held up his hand and nodded to Nidhi, then pointed to himself.

"Saroj tu rehene de. Kyon nahin jayegi yeh hospital. Ab woh zamane gaye. Aaj kal toh ladkiyan aakhir tak kaam karti hain. Aur phir agar yeh healthy hain, and iski doctor ne isse permission de rakkhi hai toh ismein koi harz nahin. Nidhi beta, doctor said that you can work, hain na?"

"Ji Baba. She said that I can follow my normal routine, and just need to follow the normal precautions. Baaki everything is alright."

"Theek hai. Toh beta bas don't over do and take care. And ab jaa, tujhe der ho rahi hai. Main a Ashutosh ke saath aa jaunga. Tu meri car leja."

"Par bhaisahab isne kuch bhi nahi khaya, aise kaise..."

"Theek hai baba. Beta apni bhua ke khatir kuch khaa le. Nahin toh yeh saari din pareshaan hoti rahegi."

Nidhi smiled and nodded.

"Ji Baba. Main kuch khaaye bina nahin jaa rahi thi. Mujhe pata hai Bhua pareshaan hoti. Bhuaji main abhi jaake dhoodh pi leti hoon. Aap phikr mat kariye. Par haan, sirf aaj...and woh bhi kyon ki aap keh rahin hain. Par kal se nahin. I hate dhoodh. Main kabhi nahin peeti, mujhe bilkul nahin accha lagta. And baaki aap jo bhi kahengi main wohi karoongi. Promise."

"Par meri bacchi dhooodh peena toh bahut zaroori hai, tere liye aur bacche ke liye bhi. Iss liye beta woh toh tujhe peena padega. Lekin iss vishay mein baad mein baat karenge. Abhi tu teher main dhoodh laati hoon."

Both Dr. Mathur and Ashutosh were amused as they saw the pained expression on Nidhi's face as she waited for Ashutosh's bhua to bring her the milk, as though she had just been given a life sentence or something. Dr. Mathur was surprised to see Chhote Sarkar come walking out of the kitchen right behind his sister, he also had almost the same expression on his face that Nidhi had, carrying a plate of elaichi. He was about to ask him what the elaichi was for when he was distracted by Nidhi's loud sigh. Both he and Ashutosh chuckled when he saw the way Nidhi reached for the glass. They were even more amused when they saw how she pinched her nose with her forefinger and thumb, took a deep breath, then bringing the glass to her mouth, they watched in amazement as she chugged the milk down in one go, not even stopping to take a breath in between. The second the glass touched her mouth, Chhote Sarkar lifted the plate of elaichi towards her. And as soon as the glass was empty Nidhi, still holding her breath, reached over and grabbed a couple and stuffed them into her mouth. She did not start breathing until she had begun chewing the elaichi.

At this point Ashutosh could not hold back the laughter that came bursting out. Still laughing he walked over to Nidhi and pulled her into his arms.

"You are absolutely priceless Sweetheart. Maine aaj tak apni zindagi mein kissi ko bhi iss tarha dhoodh peete hue nahin dekha."

Nidhi lost herself in the spontaneity of his embrace, and Ashutosh lost himself in her innocence. As they both stared into each other's eyes, both of them forgot about everything else, even the two adults, who stood there looking at them with tenderness, and indulgence. It was only when Chhote Sarkar cleared his throat loudly that they both became aware of their surroundings, and what they were doing, that they sprang apart guiltily.

"Bhuaji mere khayal se aap khoob saari elaichi mangva kar ghar mein stock kar lijiye. Agar aapka iraada hai inko roz dhoodh pilaane ka toh humein eaichi ki bahut zaroorat padegi. Kyon ke yeh inke bina dhoodh nahin pee sakti. Col sahab ko bhi inki iss dhoodh nafrat ke aage surrender karna pada tha."

Bhua had a tender look on her face as she came forward and clasped Nidhi to herself.

"Jis cheez se meri bacchi ko itni taqleef hoti hai, woh main iss par force nahin karungi. Dekh beta, dhoodh toh peena chahiye in dinon. Tere aur bacche dono ke liye zaroori hai. Par mai promise karti hoon ke agli baar tere ko dhoodh peene mein koi problem nahin hogi. Bas apni Bhua par bharosa rakkh. Theek hai."

Nidhi looked skepticaly at Bhua, and nodded.

"Ji... Bhua ab main jaaoon?"

"Haan Beta. Aur shyaam ko main tera intezaar karungi."

She gave both the elders a smile, and nodded to Ashutosh before she hurried out of the house.

Anji was pacing back and forth nervously outside in the lawn, and as soon as she saw Nidhi pull into her drive, she hurried over to her. She barely gave Nidhi a chance to come out of the car before grabbing her in a tight hug.

"So... Kya hua? Bataya sabko...Jeeju Ko? Bataa na Nidhi."

Nidhi chuckled," Ab tu bolne degi to kuch bataaungi na. Tu question pe questio kare jaa rahi hai."

"Accha achha baba, ab mai chup ho jati hoon. Chal ab bataa."

"Raat ko hi bataa diya tha Dr. Ashutosh ko. And aaj subhya unhone Bhua aur Baba ko bataa diya. Sab bahut khush hain. Okay? Accha sun pehle mujhe bataa Bhai aa gaye kya?"

"Bas aate hi honge. Nidhi, jeeju..."

"Ek minute Anji. Let me call the hospital first and see if I can get someone to cover me for a couple of hours. Nahin toh mujhe jaana hoga."

Anji observed her carefully as she made the phone calls. She saw her smiling, but the smile did not reach her eyes. She knew Nidhi too well. She did not look like a woman, who had just told her husband they were going to have a baby, looked. There was no excitement, no joy. Nidhi's eyes were dull. She did not know what to do. Of anybody she knew, Nidhi was the one who most deserved all the happiness possible. She had lost her mother very early on, and Anji alone knew how much not having a mother had sometimes bothered and hurt her. And now, with her father's passing, it seemed that Nidhi had somehow withdrawn from everyone, even her. Of course, her marriage to had not helped any. From Armaan she had come to quite a bit about Ashutosh, so she knew that he was not a cruel or in sensitive person. But he did have a lot of baggage. She wished that she could have been here for Nidhi when she had found out about her father's illness. If she had things might have been different. But, she hadn't been, and this was reality. No amount of wishes, or should have's and could have's, could change that. She had talked to Armaan at length,(of course she had never revealed to him that Nidhi loved Ashutosh. She was the only one who knew, and whether she loved Armaan and married him or not, she would never reveal anything Nidhi told her.) and he had been equally concerned about both Ashutosh and Nidhi. But, like her was at a loss as to what they could do to help them resolve the differences and misunderstandings between them.

Anji was so lost in her thoughts that she did not notice that Nidhi had finished talking on the phone, until Nidhi tapped her on the shoulder.

"Oh hello madam, kiss du niya mein khoyi hai? Chal mera kaam ho gaya. I got a friend of mine to cover for me for the rest of the morning. Chal ab ander chalein, mujhe Aunty Uncle se bhi baat karni hai, and then Armaan Bhai bhi aate honge. Lets go. (she had taken a few steps, but stopped abruptly and looked at Anji.)

"Anji tere parents ko pataa hai ke mai..."

"Nahin maine nahin bataaya. Tune manaa kiya tha na, toh kaise bataati. Halaaki itni badi baat ko Mom se chippaana bahut mushkil tha. Kal raat se dard ho raha hai pet mein, teri yeh baat pachaane ki koshish karte karte. But, ab chal, jaldi se Mom ko bataate hain."

"Anji ek min..."

Nidhi had barely started to speak when Shyaama came hurrying out. She had a huge smile on her face, and and was holding her arms open towards Nidhi.

"I think the cat is out of the bag. Chal Nidhi ab tayyar Hospital jaa..." Anji said stepping out of the way, as her mother enveloped Nidhi into her arms.

She held her tightly for several seconds, then drew back and with eyes spilling over with tears, she cupped Nidhi's face in her hands and kissed her forehead.

"Mujhe abhi abhi Sarojji ne bataya. Beta mai aur tere Uncle itne khush hain ke shabdon mein bayyaan karna mushkil hai. Hum nana nani banane waale hai. Iss se badi koi khush khabri ho sakti hai koi bhalaa? Aur haan, teri saas keh rahi thi ke tune ghar par kuch nahin khaaya. Toh unhone meri zimmedaari lagayi hai ke mai tujhe theek se khilaaye bina kahin naa jaane doon. Chalo ab tum dono, bas bahut baatein ho gayi hain, ab khaane ke baad karna baaki."

Nidhi and Anji looked at each other and grinned, both remembering their childhood. This was almost the same thing Anji's mother used to say to them whenever they had been late for any meal.

No sooner had they entered when Nidhi was once again greeted by another warm embrace by Anji's father. Shyaama served Nidhi her breakfast despite her protests that she could do that by herself. Nidhi looked at her plate aghast, and then looked up at Anji, who grinned at her.

"Aunty main yeh sab nahin khaa sakti. I will not be able to move."

"Nidhi main kuch sunana nahin chahti. Chup chaap khaana shuru kar. (seeing the pained expression on her face, Shyaama relented). Accha theek hai, jitna khaa sakti hai utna toh khaa pehle, phir main dekhungi. Agar mujhe laga ke ke tune theek se khaaya hai toh jaane dungi."

Nidhi smiled and nodded then picked up her spoon and started eating.

"Aunty aaj main actually aapse aur uncle se kuch baat karne aayi thi. Woh kya hai na..."

Just then the doorbell rang, Armaan's voice boomed out from across the room.

"Arre meri wait nahin kari. Sab mere bina akele akele party kar rahein hain."

Shyaama smiled and got up from the table to go greet him.

"Armaan aap aa gaye. Aayiye baithiye. And abhi Nidhi ke illava kissi ne kuch nahin shuru kiya. Aur uska karan hai. Ab se Nidhi ka time se khaana khaana bahut zaroori hai."

"Accha! Kyon bhai, aisa kyon? Nidhi tujhe kya hua, teri tabiyat toh theek hai?"

Nidhi blushed,"Jee...Bhai main theek hoon. Aisi koi baat nahin..."

"Arre kaise nahin hai koi baat ,"Anji interrupted her,"Armaan baat toh hai, and bahut hi khaas. Nidhi ka khaana isliye zaroori hai , kyon ke agar yeh nahin khaayegi toh appka hone waala Nephew, ya hone waali Niece bhi isske saath saath bhookhe rahenge. Kuch samjhe aap."

Armaan looked stunned for a second, before he rushed over to Nidhi. Then pulling her chair out, and standing her up, he took her in a tight hug and swung her around. Both Shyaama and Anji immediately ran over and stopped him, making him put Nidhi down.

"Armaan, aap pagal Hospital gaye hain kya? She is pregnant. You can't do that. You need to treat her gently now."

Armaan looked sheepishly at Nidhi and put his hands on his ear,"Sorry Sorry, little sister. I just got carried away. Lekin tune subha subha khabar hi tni acchi di ke main apne aap ko rok hi nahin paaya."

Shyaama chuckled,"Haan, woh toh main samajh sakti hoon. Chalo koi baat nahin. Armaan chaliye baithiye, khaana thanda ho raha hai."

When everybody had started eating, Armaan looked at Nidhi and said,"Nidhi, tune mujhe aaj yahan yeh baat bataane ke liye tha?

"Nahin Bhai. That is even more important than my news. Lekin sab meri news ko leke itne distract ho rahein hain ke bas..."

"Iss news se important aur kya baat ho sakti hai, zara sunein toh? Bataa zara."

"Actually, baat aapke saamne honi zaroori thi, lekin karni mujhe Aunty Uncle se hai."

"Bol Beta, kya baat hai?"

"Aunty mujhe Anji ne uske aur Armaan Bhai ke baare mein bataya. I am so happy, ke main kya kahoon. Aunty main chahti hoon ke ab app jald se jald bas in dono ki shaadi karva dijiye."

The smile slipped from Armaan's face and he stopped eating and looked at her somberly,"Agar yeh baat pataa hai toh yeh bhi pataa hoga tumhe ke hum dono abhi iss baat ke liye raazi nahin hain. Hum thoda wait karna chahte hain."

"Maine bhi Nidhi se yehi kaha, par yeh sunane ko tayyar nahin hai. Maine socha hum sab saath baithenge toh isse samjhaa sakenge."

Shyaama interrupted,"Actually I agree with Nidhi. Kyonki yeh baat toh main bhi nahin samajh saki. Toh agar tum dono samjhaa hi rahe ho toh, Nidhi ke saath saath mujhe bhi samjhaa do ke why is it that both of you want to wait before getting married. Armaan, please aap bura mat manana, lekin I thought that you more than anyone would want the marriage to be as soon as possible."

"Ji, I know it's the age factor. And main bilkul bura nahin maan raha. Par kya hain na, both Anji and I think that this is not the right time. We would both like to wait for a bit."

"Par kyon?"

Nidhi put her hand on Shyaama's arm,"Aunty please, let me... Aunty mere upar chhod dijiye. Main handle karti hoon. (then she looked at Anji and Armaan) I want to talk to the both of you alone. Anji chal tere room mein chalte hain."

"Par Nidhi khaa toh lein pehele."

"Arre yaar, baad mein khaa lena. Mujhe Hospital bhi pahunchna hai, but, I want to talk some sense into the both of you first. Ab chalo."

Nidhi got up from the table, and before Shyaama could say anything, she picked up her plate and grinned at her.

"Mujhe pataa hai. Dekhiye saath le kar jaa rahi hoon. You don't need to worry."

Shyaama grinned at her in response, "Badmaash. Maa ka mazak uda rahi hai."

"Nahin Maa ko chinta karne se rok eahi hoon. Aunty aap phikr mat kijiye. Main inn dono ko manaa lungi."

"I know Beta. Agar koi bhi kar sakta hai, toh woh tu hai. Jaa ab, dono tera wait kar rahein hain."

As she entered, Armaan took her plate, and Nidhi closed the door of the room behind her. He handed the plate to Anji and then went to Nidhi and helped her sit before getting handing her food back to her. She just could not help the laugh the burst from her mouth.

"Bhai, I am just two months along, not nine. Abhi I am perfectly capable of doing everything, and taking care of myself. Plus I am pregnant, not handicapped."

"No need to be a smart aleck Nidhi. Tera bada bhai hoon. I am allowed to worry. And I will pamper you as much as I want. Arre koi mazak thodi hai, Mama and Chacha banane waala hoon . Plus, its my prerogative as an older brother."

She was about to argue

"I'd give in if I were you Nidhi. Jab yeh aise hote hain, toh it's impossible to argue with him. But in this case, though, I agree with him, kyon ki main bhi yeh hi karne waali hoon."

Nidhi shook her head in exasperation.

"Bhai kal Anji se baat kari maine, she told me everything. Mujhe bilkul accha nahin laga. Yeh aap dono kya kar rahein hain?"

"Kya kar rahein hain hum Nidhi? Is it such a crime to be concerned about your sister and your best friend?"

"Bhai is there a rule somewhere that says that you can't be concerned after you get married? How does yours and Anji's marriage come in the way of your concern? Aap dono ko pataa hai how precious and rare, what the two of you have is? Aap dekhiye aap kitne lucky hain. Anji how many parents would agree to an age gap marriage like yours and Bhai's? That too so readily. Maine Aunty uncle, dono ke chehre par zara sa bhi hesitation nahin dekhi, Bhai ke liye. Both of them were totally at ease with him. And Bhai aap bataiye, hamare samajh mein kitnon ko iss tarha se acceptance milti hai? Don't you guys realize how rare your relationship is? And love, what about that? Kissi se pyar karna aasaan hota hai, par uss pyar ke badle mein pyar mille yeh zaroori nahin hota. You both are so lucky to have each other, but both of you are not appreciating this gift nor are you grabbing the chance that God has given you. I think that the both of you are total idiots. Each second that you are loved, can give love is precious. And time is fleeting. You both are wasting time. Time that you can be together, time that you can spend showing each other how much you love each other, and how much both of you mean to one another. Aise sunder pal aap waste kar rahein hain. Aap dono aise kaise kar saktein hain? Zara unse poocho jo pyaar ke liye taraste hain how foolishly you both are behaving. Bhai maine Anji ko kal yeh bola tha, aur aapse bhi wohi baat kehti hoon. Bhai pyar jin daamon mille sasta hai. Pyar se bad kar kuch nahin, koi nahin. Pyar jab mile, jahan mile, jaise mile, you need to grab it with both hands and than hold on to it and treasure it for the rest of your life. Please meri baat maan lijiye, don't waste anymore time. Jitni jaldi ho sake, shaadi kar lijiye. And as for me, well the both of you can worry, love, be concerned, or whatever else, as much as you want, lekin shaadi ke baad, together."

Armaan's eyes were moist, and Anji had tears running down her cheeks by the time Nidhi had stopped talking. Both Anji and Armaan looked at one another, them both of them came up to Nidhi and the three of them hugged.

"Anji you were right, she really is something. Nidhi tujhe pataa hai Anji ne mujhe pehele hi bol diya tha ke tu humein manaye bina nahin manegi. And Nidhi, yeh teri saheli hai naa, yeh bhi teri tarha hai. Isse saare time teri phikr lagi rehti hai. Isko apni taqleef, teri taqleef ke samne kuch bhi nahin lagti..."

"Armaan..." Anji grabbed his arm, and glared at him.

"Wait a minute Anji. Bhai yeh aapne abhi kya bola? Takleef? Kaisi takleef? Anji ko kya hua hai? Anji tu mujhse kya chippa rahi hai? (she looks from one to the other) Will one of you tell me WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!!!!! What's wrong with Anji?"

Armaan and Anji once again looked at one another. Finally, Anji sighed and nodded, then she turned away and walked to her window staring out. Nidhi noted the desolate air about her, and she also saw the tears that had started running down her cheeks.

"Bhai please, kuch toh boliye. I am really scared."

After glancing at Anji, stuffed his hands in his pocket and then looked Nidhi in the eye.

"Nidhi tu kal Anji se Hospital mein milli thi naa? Did you think how Nidhi just happened to be there? After all, naa main doctor hoon, aur naa yeh."

Nidhi shook her head, thoroughly confused as to where Armaan was leading.

"Nidhi you know naa Anji ki tabiyat kitni kharab hoti hai, every month. The cramps are almost unbearable."

"Haan bhai, cramps toh isko shuru se hi hote hain. I had given her some medicine for the pain also."

"I know. But, what you don't know Nidhi is that for the last few months problem kaafi bad gayi thi. The reason that Anji and her parents had gone to Europe was because her Gynecologist wanted her to get thoroughly tested, and recommended a specialist in London. Nidhi her fillopian tubes are completely blocked, due to an infection... I think the term is Endometriosis. Anyway because of that, and the fact that it went undetected for a long time, the damage is extensive and irreparable. She can never get pregnant. IVF is also out of the question, not only are her tubes blocked, but there is damage to the uterus lining. Agar pregnancy ho bhi gayi toh it is un likely that she will ever be able to carry a baby to term. Most probably a miscarriage will occur. Jo main keh raha hoon woh toh tum samajh hi gayi hogi abh tak. Anji kabhi Maa nahin ban sakti Nidhi."

"Mujhe kuch samajh nahin aa raha hai. Itna sab kuch ho gaya and mujhe kissi ne kuch nahin bataya..."

Then she stormed over to where Anji stood and jerked her around to face her

"Tu apne aap ko meri behen kehti hai. Meri best friend hone ka pretense karti hai. You don't know the meaning of the word friend Anji. Do have an explanation for for this? Kya reason tha yeh sab mujhse chipaane ka, zara bataa sakti hai mujhe please?"

Nidhi angrily wiped the tears of her cheeks as she waited for Anji to give her the answers to her questions. ButAnji just stood there with tears pouring down her cheeks looking helplessly at Nidhi.

After several seconds of silence Nidhi, with no response forthcoming , Nidhi said,"Theek hai. Whatever! Aaj se mere se bhi kuch mat expect karna. From now on, my life and whatever is or is not happening in it, is a closed book as far as you are concerned. Aur naa mai teri zindagi ke kissi bhi asspect mein kuch bolungi. Tujhe jo karna hai tu kar, main chalti hoon."

Just as Nidhi tuned to leave Armaan caught her arm,"Ek minute Nidhi. Tumne kaafi kuch bol diya Anji ko. Itne saalon ke baad itna hi jaana hai isse. Main samajhta hoon ke tumhe kitna dukh hua hoga, lekin you are being grossly unfair to her. You above all people should know that there is a reason why Anji did not tell you."

"Kya reason hai. Aur maine iss se abhi abhi aapke samne poocha toh hai. She just stood there. Aape aamne abhi toh poocha tha maine, and appne dekha ke Anji ne koi jawab nahin diya. Toh aur kya samjhun mai iska illava ke yeh mujhe bataana nahin chahti."

"Nidhi zara dekh isse, aur phir bol. Dekh, tujhe lagta hai ke iss samay yeh iss haal mein hai ke tumhe kuch bataa sake. Nidhi soch zara, apne aap ko iski jagah rakkh ke ek baar, ke Anji ki stithi kya hai. Lekin ek baat zaroor hai ke tujhe pataa hona chahiye. And I agree that she should not have hidden it from you. Main bataata hoon tujhe, sun. Nidhi when Anji and her parents found out, uss smay tere exams chal rahe the. They knew that if you found out you would not be able to study. That is why tere ko uss samay kissi ne kuch nahin bataya. Lekin tumhare Baba se baat kari thi Mr. and Mrs. Solanki ne. Wahan par saare tests ho bhi nahin paaye the jab unhe tumhare Baba ki khabar milli. Yeh sab toh ussi samay agli flight le kar wapas aane waale the, par tumhare Baba ne rok diya pni kasam dekar. He wanted them to finish her treatment. Iss liye Anji ek dum wapas nahin aayi. Lekin jab tumhari shaadi ka pataa chalaa toh Anji ruk nahin saki. Tujhe pataa hai iss ne apne treatment ke baad test results ka wait bhi nahin kiya, aur teri shaadi ke liye wapas daudi chali aayi. Nidhi jis din Baba guzre the, uss se ek din pehle hi Anji ko results ke baare mein pataa chalaa. Aur phir tu jis haal mein thi... Anji forgot herself. Uske liye teri takleef apni takleef se kahin zyada lagi. Nidhi tu iss se iss tarha kaise rooth sakti hai."

Nidhi was crying in earnest," Toh aur kya karoon. Isnein ek baar socha mujhe kaisa lagega jab mujhe pataa chalega. Ek toh itni badi baat, doosra ke isnein itne dinon tak mujhse chippayi. Iss se poochiye toh zara, ke agar main aisa karti, koi itni badi baat iss se chippati, toh isse kaisa lagta? Mujhe kaisa lag raha hai iss samay app dono mein se koi soch bhi nahin sakti."

Nidhi felt Anji's tentative touch on her shoulder. She shrugged her hand off, but still turned around to face Anji. Anji smiled at Nidhi through her tears and put her arms around Nidhi in a tight hug. Nidhi did not move away, not did she hug Anji back.

"Nidhi mujhe kuch nahin pataa, magar itna zaroor pataa hai ke iss baat ko sun kar mujhe jitna jhatka laga aur dukh hua, uss se kahin zyada dukh tujhe hoga mere liye."

Then she drew back and took both of Nidhi's hands in hers.

"Lekin Nidhi jab Baba ki bimaari ka pataa chalaa toh mujhe pata tha ke tera kya haal ho raha hoga. Dekh hum sab ko pataa tha ke Baba humein chhod kar jaane waale hain. Lekin Nidhi main toh kahin nahin jaa rahi. Yahin hoon tere paas. Mujhe pataa hai ke mujhe jab bhi teri zaroorat hogi tu mujhe mere saath khadi milegi. Lekin uss samay mujhe teri itni zaroorat nahin thi, jitni tujh meri. Meri toh yeh problem zindagi b har ki hai, aur mujhe acchi tarha se pataa hai ke tu mujhe kabhi akela nahin chhodegi. Nidhi I just wanted to be there for you to help you. I wanted to help ease your pain, not add to it. Bas iss liye nahin bataaya. Aur phir yeh tera Jeeju ke saath contract etc... Tu kya kya handle karegi. And now the baby. Yeh baat mujh se behtar kaun jaanta hai ke iss bacche ko give up karna tere liye kitna hard hoga. Phir jitna tu unse pyaar karti hai tere liye bacche se zaya hard hoga Jeeju se door jaana. Nidhi mai selfish kaise ho sakti hoon. Tujhe meri zaroorat hai. Meri problem toh kuch hi nahin. Paar shayad maine galti kari ke itne time tak jo tujhe nahin bataya. Mujhe maaf karde na. Please... Mai promise karti hoon ke iske baad chahe kuch bhi ho jaye kabhi kuch nahin hide karungi. Sacchi mein."

And Anji brought both hands up and held her ears, her eyes silently beseeching Nidhi to forgive her.

Nidhi sighed held out her arms to her friend. Anji too held out her arms to Nidhi and both friends embraced each other tightly and held on to each. A couple of minutes later the loud clearing of a throat brought them back to the present, and they both drew apart with a smile, but still held each other's hand, not quite willing to let go just yet.

Armaan looked at the both of them, and moving close he put his arms around both for a quick hug before stepping back.

Then smilingly he looked from one to the other and said, "Tum dono bilkul ek jaisi ho. Ek doosre se itna pyaar karti ho ke apne aap ko, and apni har problem ko nazar-andaaz kar deti ho dono jab ek doosre ke upar koi museebat aati hai. Saath hi mein tum dono ke dono bilkul pagal bhi ho. You know mujhe saaf saaf meri zindagi ka poora road map dikhayi de raha hai. It tells me ke kissi na kissi din tum dono ke saath rehte rehte main bhi pagal hone wala hoon."

Both girls laughed, and seeing this Armaan silently breathed a sigh of relief. A major crisis had just been averted.

"Agar aisa hai toh aapko koi zaroorat nahin meri jaise pagal se shaadi karne ki. And mujhe bhi nahin karni aapse shaadi. Aap jaakar kissi aur ko dhoond lijiye jo aapki tarha sane ho, and aapki sanity ko preserve karegi. Aur main apne lye koi apne jaisa pagal dhoondti hoon."

Just as she turned to walk away, Armaan grabbed her hand and pulled her into his arms. It took her a second to get over the initial surprise, but then she started struggling against his hold.

"What are you doing? Let me go Armaan. You are totally shameless. Nidhi bhi yahin khadi hai."

Nidhi was enjoying herself.

"Actually I am having a lot of fun. Please don't mind me. Carry on. I can't wait to see how this turns out. Par ek minute wait kariye, zara main comfortable ho jaaoon."

Then picking up the plate of food she had put down earlier, she sat down on Anji's bed.

"Ok now, ab I am comfortable. Go for it."

Anji looked at her, her face a mixture of amusement, annoyance, and disbelief. It was as though she could not make up her mind whether she wanted to laugh or yell.

"NidhiI can't believe you. Mujhe help karne ke bajaye tu wahan baith ke khaana khaa rahi hai?"

"Haan toh kya? Tune suna nahin. I have to eat. After all main tere bhatije ko bhookha toh nahin rakh sakti naa.?"

The minute the words were out of her mouth, her face lost its smile, and she looked Anji, "Anji I...I...I am so so sorry. I didn't mean..." She bit her lip and her eyes pleaded for forgiveness.

Anji untangled her herself from Armaan and went to Nidhi.

"Oh sweetie, you can't keep on doing this. You have to accept it. This is the reality of my life. I have already come to terms with this, now its your turn. We can not turn away from this, none of us can . And you don't have to watch your words every time you come in front of me. Plus how long can either of us ignore the fact that you are pregnant. I mean lets face it honey, sooner rather than later you are gonna start to show. And chalo agar tum kuch time ke liye kissi tarha apna stomach chippa bhi lo, lekin ultimately you are gonna get as big as a house, tab kya karogi? Jokes apart Nidhi, ek tu hi toh nahin duniya mein jo pregnant hai. The world is full of pregnant women. There is no way I can avoid the world. Nidhi it is always going to hurt that I can't be a mother. Lekin kismat se kaun lad sakta hai. Iss liye please aise mat kar, and be normal. In fact this pregnancy of yours is a blessing for the both of us. This way through you I can experience it too. Hain naa? Now lets all be normal. And most of all lets all finish this rona dhona, and fighting. Ab kamre ke bahar chalte hain. Mom and Papa must be wondering ke andar itni der se kya ho raha hai."

"Aise kaise bahar chalein? Nope we are not leaving this room till I get the answer I want from the both of you. Are you both going to agree to get married immediately ot not. Agar nahin toh phir theek hai, main bhook hadtaal par jaa rahi hoon. and then tu hi apne bhatije ko samjhana why his mom is not feeding him."

"Nidhi tu poori ki poori nautanki baaz hai?"

"Toh tum kaunsi better ho memsahab? Nidhi, tujhe pataa hai mujhe kitni mehnat karni padi thi isko shadi ke liye manane mein. Manane ke liye tayyar hi nahin thi. Kept on spouting nonsense about being less of a woman because she would not be able to give me children. Khair bahut papad belne pade mujhe tab yeh jaa kar ready hui."

Nidhi once again put her plate down and got up then she walked up to them and took a hold of one of their hands in each of hers.

"Anji you are no less of a complete woman today than you were when you didn't know. And there are always solutions. Har ek mushkil ka koi na koi hal hota hai. Aur hum sab milke iss issue ko solve karenge. Yeh mera tere se vaada hai. I promise that you have someone who will call you Mom, if it's the last thing I do. And I am so thankful that you someone in your life who loves you so much, that he does not need anything else other than you to complete his life. Sun Anji please shaadi ke liye haan karde. It would mean a lot to me, and it would make your parents feel so relieved. Soch iss baat se unko kitni takleef ho rahi hogi naa. Kyon Bhai? Please aapbhi haan keh dijiye. Please aap dono, say yes."

They looked at each other and smiled, then turning to Nidhi Armaan nodded.

Her face let up with a huge smile and she hurried from the room before either could get a word out, screaming loudly,"Aunty, Uncle... Suniye please. Jaldi jaldi shaadi ki tayyari kijiye, dono ne haan kardi."

The moment she left, Armaan tuned to Anji,"She loves him?"

Anji nodded,"Par Nidhi said that Jeeju does not love her. Kasam di hai mujhe ke main unse kuch nahin kahoongi."

Armaan ran a hand through his hair in agitation,"Christ, what a mess!"

"Kya hua?"

He looked at her,"Anji Ashutosh loves her too. And he has forbidden me from interfering."

They looked at each other helplessly until Anji face lit up with a huge smile.

"What? Kya hua? Why the huge smile? Koi idea aaya hai?"

"Yes. You see hum dono par hamare respective dost ne kasam chadha rakkhi hai, yes? (he nodded) Par Jeeju ne toh mujhe koi kasam nahin di, and Naa hi Nidhi ne aapko. Toh..."

Armaan's face lit up and holding her tightly he swung her around, before bending to to give her a deep hard kiss on her lips.

"What are you doing?" Anji said as she pushed away from him and looked at the door in panic.

"Koi bhi After all, sakta hai."

"Arre toh kya hua? Apni hone waali biwi ko hi toh kiss kar raha hoon. Plus koi nahin aayega. Sab bahut smart hain. And madam you had better get used to it. But, yeh kiss toh tumhare brilliant idea ka reward tha. Sach mein kya loop hole nikaala hai kasamon ke contracts ka. Are you sure tum waqeel nahin ho?"

"Wakeel toh nahin, par ek bahut bade wakeel ki hone waali b iwi zaroor hoon. Aakir sangat ka kuch toh asar hona hi hai."

"Absolutely my love. Vey true... Anji...(cupping her face in his hands) I can't wait till you are mine. I love you."

Anji put her arms around him and burrowed into his chest," I love you too. Par..."

He drew back,"Koi par var nahin. Bas bahut ho gaya hai Anji. Sab decide ho gaya. And jo rehe gaya hai we will work through it together. Sab theek ho jayega. OK? Now just forget about everything and lets look forward to our life together and be happy. And...And lets find a way to fix things between Ashutosh and Nidhi so that they can find a way to each other and be happy too. Yes?"

Anji nodded, and clung to him again, before drawing back and smiling,"Chalein?"

Armaan nodded and held out his hand,"Chalo."

Anji put her hand in his, and they walked out of the room together.

Shyaama got up the minute they came out,"Tum dono sach mein raazi ho? Anji beta, Nidhi theek keh rahi hai naa, tune haan kardi?"

Nidhi laughed and went up to hug her aunt,"Haanji, haan kardi... Bilkul pakki haan."

Shyaama hugged her tightly before looking over her shoulder at Armaan and Anji who were now standing right behind Nidhi, with big smiles on their faces.

Nidhi let her go and turned and up to her daughter and future son-in-law.

Arman and Anji bent to touch her feet. After blessing both of them, she put her arms around both for a hug. Then Anji and Armaan went and sought her blessings, who also did the same as his wife.

Then Shyaama came to Nidhi,"Beta pataa nahin tera thank you kaise karoon. Tune..."

Nidhi stopped her,"Aunty, Maa ko apni beti ko thanks karne ki koi zaroorat nahin hoti. Besides Aaj se toh ek naya rishta juda hai mera, kyon...Jeeju."

"Jeeju? Nidhi main toh tera bada bhai hoon. Yeh jeeju..."

"Dekhiye, bade bhai tab tak the jab tak app sirf Dr. Ashutosh ke dost the. Lekin abhi toh aap meri behen se shaadi kar rahein hain. Aur behen ka pati toh Jeeja hi hota hai. Iss liye ab se aap mere Jeeju hain. Besides, jeeju ho kar bhi toh aap bade bhai ka farz nibha sakte hain. Nahin?"

Armaan chuckled, and gave her a hug.

"Haan, of course. Mere ko tere saath dono rishte qubool hai, behen ho ya saali, dono sar aankhon par. Either way you will be my little sister. Mere liye kaafi hai"

"Yep. Now we are on the same track. Plus Jeeja ke naate hamara rishta bana rahega. Warna divorce ke baad toh koi..."

Nidhi realized her mistake immediately, but it was too late, the damage had been done. The instant the words had come out of her mouth she heard a gasp from both of Anji's parents.

"Divorce?!!!! Kaisa divorce? Kiska? Kisse? What divorce are you talking about Nidhi, and whose?" Shyaama asked, panic and worry in her voice.

Nidhi slowly turned to face them. Shyaama came up and took her by the shoulders and shook her gently,"Nidhi I asked you a question. I need an answer. Right now."

Nidhi swallowed hard, then turned her face to look helplessly at Anji and Armaan. Her eyes silently pleading for help. Armaan and Anji both came and stood on either side of Nidhi, flanking her protectively.

Then Armaan put an arm around her shoulder," Nidhi tujhe hospital ke liy der ho rahi hai naa? Tu jaa, Anji and I will handle everything here. Don't worry everything will be all right. Hmm?"

Nidhi gave him a grateful smile, and then hurried out of the house without giving either Shyaama or her husband a chance to say anything else.

As soon as she left he faced both of Anji's parents, "Hum aap ko sab kuch batate hain. Chaliye baithte hain, this is going to take a while..."

Nidhi was worried about how Anji's parents had taken the news. But, what plaqued her the most was her worry about Anji. She needed to find a way to help her best friend. Both these things plus her work at the hospital kept her too busy to even give a thought to her own problems. During the course of the day Nidhi came to the conclusion that she had go and talk to Ashutosh about this. Whatever their relationship, she knew that he had a genuine affection for Anji. She had seen that affection reflected in his eyes. And, then Armaan was his best friend. Not only did he deserve to know, but she knew that he would definitely think of something. As soon as she had reached that decision, Nidhi went to his cabin and was about to knock at his door, when she was informed by his peon that Ashutosh was up in the neonatal ICU. She knew that he had probably gone to check up on the newborn baby girl, whose parents had died the night before. The father had been hit by a drunk driver, and her mother had gone into premature labor on hearing the news, and had passed away right after giving birth.

Nidhi stopped right outside the NICU, and looked through the glass doors, and saw Ashutosh. he was holding the baby and rocking her, almost absentmindedly, because it was clear that his thoughts were elsewhere. Nidhi knew he was worried about the child, he had told her that last night. Now that both parents were dead, and there were no other relatives to claim her, as soon as she was declared healthy by the doctor, she would have be sent to an orphanage. She wished there was something she could do to ease his worry. God knows, with her around, he had enough stress and tensions in his life. He did not need any added worries. If only there was a way... She paused in mid thought as an idea came to her. Her face lit up at the ideas that were fooding into her head. Just as she was about to knock and get his attention, Nidhi stopped.

"Should I?"She muttered to herself. "Maybe I should talk to someone else first, before I talk to Ashutosh." She decided. After all, she did not want to come across like a fool nobody agreed with her. So nidhi turned round once again and walked back to the doctors common room and took out her phone and dialed.

"Hello? Bhai? Bhai it's Nidhi. I need to talk to you can you come to hospital if you have time this evening? Great. I'll see you then." She smiled and crossed her fingers for luck as she hung up and put it in her pocket. Then she hurried out of the room and went back to her work. She finished her work and raced out of the hospital just as Armaan drove up. Arman drove to a nearby cafe, and after they were seated, he asked her why she had wanted to meet with him so urgently.

Nidhi started at the beginning and told him about the newborn and explained about her parents and their deaths and the fact that the baby had no relatives and the fact that she would be sent to an orphanage as soon as the doctors declared her fit enough to be discharged from the hospital. After she had finished the story she stopped talking and looked at Armaan expectantly, excitement lighting up her face.

"Par Nidhi yeh sab tum mujhe kyon bataa rahi ho? What do I have to do with any of this? What can I do? Mera matlab I don't know anybody in that field. And none of the people I know are wanting to adopt. So..."

Nidhi shook her head ruefully,"Sacchi kabhi kabhi toh aap aadmi log itni dense hote ho ke I feel like screaming. Jeeju maine jo kuch bhi abhi aapse kaha uske peeche kya matlab hai is crystal clear. In fact you should have understood right at the onset exactly what I was getting at. Iss baat se aapka yeh lena dena hai Bhai...uh Jeeju... is, and I am still surprised that you don't see what is staring you right in the face, that this baby is the answers to Anji's prayers. She is like a gift from heaven for the two of you. I was hoping that you and Anji would think about adopting the baby. It is such an ideal situation...for everybody. That is...only if you and Anji are willing to at this point. I mean both of you are not even married yet... Actually iss liyye maine iss vishay mein sab se pehle aap hi se baat kari. Agar aap ko mera sujhaav theek lagaa toh aap Anji se baat kar ke dekhiye if she is also willing to be a mom at this point. I mean...I don't know...maybe I could be way off base and you both might want to be alone for a while before you start thinking about children... I am sorry if I over stepped my bounds Jeeju."

Armaan did not answer her immediately. He sat with his head lowered and stared at the table silently for several seconds before he lifted his face to look at her.

"Nidhi mujhe samajh mein nahin aataa main tumhe kya kahoon. Tumhari aur Anji ki dosti never ceases to amaze me. Sweetheart I love your suggestion. As far as I am concerned this is the perfect solution, lekin as you said yeh sirf mera decision nahin hai. Iss vishay mein Anji ki razaamandi bhi zaroori hai. Phir Ashutosh se bhi toh baat karni hogi. We need to see if he also agrees."

"Jeeju don't worry about Ashutosh, I will talk to him. Aap jaa kar Anji se baat kijiye. If you can I would suggest that you do it right now. Bacchi zyada der hospital mein nahin reh sakti, and I want us to act before she leaves. Kya pataa once she leaves uske baad kya ho. I mean that the demand to adopt newborns is quite high...You know what I mean."

"Haan main smajhta hoon. And yes you are right we need to act immediately. Theek hai main Anji se baat karta hoon, tu Ashu se kar."

"Nahin...mera matlab hai ke pehele aap Anji se baat kijiye and depending on her answer I will talk to Ashutosh. Uss se pehle kya fayada."

"Yes, you are right. Chal phir main chalta hoon. I'll call you as soon as I can. Tujhe ghar chod doon?"

"Nahin Jeeju, I have a car. Main chali jaungi."

Ashutosh's Bhua and Baba, both were waiting for her when she got home. Bhua also had a plate of fruit in her hands. She handed Nidhi the plate and made her sit down.

"Kaisi hai bacche. Thak gayi hogi na din bhar kaam karke. Chal After all, thodi der baith aaraam se aur yeh phal khaa. Lekin beta tu toh aaj jaldi aane waali thi? Kissi ne rok liya hoga naa, end waqt par. Mujhe pataa hai aisa hi hua hoga. Yeh marre Hospital waale aise hi hote hai. Kohloo ki bel ke tarha kaam karvate hain. Main kehti hoon tujhe kaam karne ki kya zaroorat hai? Meri maan to jab tak baccha nahin ho jaata tujhe ghar par hi rehn a chahiye. Aisi halat mein toh..."

"Saroj, tum phir shuru ho gayi. Bacchi abhi abhi toh aayi hai, isse thoda saans toh lene de. Aate hi ladki ko dhar liya."

Nidhi looked at the two of them arguing over her and felt I overwhelmed for the love and affection they had given her ever since the night they had come to see her, when Ashutosh had informed them of his intent to marry. She stood up and hugged Bhua, and then Dr. Mathur.

"Main bahut lucky hoon jo mujhe aap jaise saas aur sasur mille hain. I love you both."

Bhua's eyes filled with tears as she brought Nidhi's face down and kissed her forehead.

"Beta khushkismat toh hum hai jo humein bahu ke roop mein tujh jaisi beti milli hai. Mere Ashu ko tujh se behtar patni kahin nahin mill sakti thi. Tum dono ek doosre ke liye hi bane ho. Bhagwan tum dono ko hamesha khush rakkhe."

Then Dr. Mathur put his arms around her,"Beta tu toh hamare ghar ki laxmi hai, aur khushi bhi. Bas tu hamesha issi tarha chehkti rehna."

Bhua's wiped her eyes and smiled, "Accha bas bahut ho gaya, ab mandir jaana hai ke nahin? Jaa beta jaake haath munh dho kar kapde badal kar aaja... Lekin beta agar tu thak gayi ho toh kal chal skate hain, aaj jaana zaroori nahin hai. Jaise tu kahe."

Nidhi smiled,"Nahin Bhuaji main bilkul theek hoon, hum aaj hi jayenge. Bas do minute dijiye, main abhi fresh ho kar aati hoon."

"Theek hai meri bacchi. Lekin beta tujhe rush karne ki koi zaroorat nahin hai. Mandir band hone mein abhi kaafi der hai, humein koi jaldi nahin hai. Aur tujhe ab har kaam aaraam se karna chahiye. Abhi kuch mahinon ke liye bhaagna daudnaa allowed nahin hai. Samjhi. Ab jaa, tere Baba aur main tere liye yahin wait kar rahein hain."

By the time she came down, she saw that Ashutosh had also arrived, and was sitting with Bhua and Baba. He looked up as soon as she entered the room and smiled at her.

Nidhi smiled back ,"Aap aa gaye? Mujhe pataa hi nahin chalaa. Aapke liye chai laa doon?"

Ashutosh shook his head,"Nahin, I was in a meeting with some of the other HOD's, so I had a cup right before I left the hospital. Tum baitho."

"Nahin, abhi hum Mandir jaa rahein hain. Besides Bhua had a huge plate of fruit all ready for me the minute I got home, abhi thodi der pehle hi finish kiya hai. I don't think I could sit down right now. Agar baith gayi, toh uth nahin paaoongi."

Ashutosh chuckled and stood up and walked over to her and taking her hand he brought her over to the sofa and made her sit down.

"Abhi toh baitho, and jab uthne ka time aayega, I will help you. Abhi mandir jaane ke liyye thoda waqt hai."

"Kyon? Kya hua? Bhuaji, kya baat hai?"

Ashutosh answered,"Kuch nahin hua. I am coming with you guys also, but abhi we are waiting for some people."

She looked at him, totally confused,"Kuan hai? Who are we waiting for?"

"Have patience Sweetheart. Abhi pataa chal jayega."

He had barely gotten the words out, when the doorbell rang. Nidhi was surprised to see that it was Anji and her parents followed by Armaan. She looked at Armaan then Anji with a puzzled expression. Then turned to Ashutosh.

"Hum Aunty, Uncle ka wait kar rahein hain?"

"Sirf Aunty and Unle nahin, but also Anji and Armaan. Lekin tum itni hairaan kyon ho rahi ho?

After all, tumne hi toh inn dono ko shaadi ke liye ready kiya. So ab mandir akele kaise jaa sakti ho. Apni behen aur uske hone waale pati ko bhi toh saath lekar jaana chahiye naa, taaki yeh bhi bhagwaan ka aashirwaad le sakein apne nayi zindagi ke liye...aur...apni beti ke liye bhi. Hai naa?"

It took her a moment for her brain to register what Ashutosh said. But, soon as it did, her face lit up like a thousand watt bulb. Nidhi immediately jumped up and ran to Anji and pulled her in to her arms for a tight hug. But, she was startled out of the hug when all the six people in the room spoke in unison,"Nidhi, be careful!!!!"

Nidhi let go of Anji and stood there grinning at all of them,"Have you all been rehearsing how to say this together. I mean you guys have it perfected down to a 'T', including the panic in your voices." She said on a chuckle.

She had barely gotten the words out when Anji came up to her,"Nidhi yeh koi mazaak ki baat nahin hai. You can't be jumping and running like that. Tujhe apni halat ka sochna chahiye. You have to think of the baby."

Nidhi realized her mistake and was at once contrite, "I am so sorry, maine bilkul socha nahin. Par promise karti hoon ke ab se khayal rakkhungi. It's just that mujhe thoda waqt lagega, for my condition to register."

Bhua came up to her and ran a hand soothingly down her back,"Koi baat nahin beta, par thoda dhyaan kar, hmm?"

"Ji"

Then she turned to Anji once again,"Anji I am so glad you said yes. I wasn't too sure whether you would be ready for this just yet. Abhi toh shaadi bhi... lekin how... I mean how did everyone come to know so quickly? I just talked to Jeeju barely a couple of hours ago. So...?"

"Well," Armaan spoke up,"Tere se baat karte hi I called up Anji from the car, I could not wait till I got home. Maine poori baat bhi nahin finish kari before she screamed a yes into my ear. By the way I think that I probably have permanent hearing loss in that ear, abhi bhi isski cheekh goonjh rahi hai kaan mein. Anyway, she ordered me to talk to Ashutosh at once, and I did. The rest is history."

"So Jeeju ab aage kya karna hoga. I mean legally what is the procedure?"

"Mujhe adoption laws ke baare mein zyada kuch nahin pataa Nidhi, par I remember vaguely that unless its a blood relative, a couple has to be married to be able to adopt. Although I am sure that there are always exceptions to the rule. But I do know that it is a lengthy procedure, forms bharne padtein hain, backgrounds and family life are investigated, etc. Itna aasaan nahin hain.

However, Ashu ki wajah se kaafi easy ho gaya hai sab. Mere se baat karne ke baad, he pulled some strings etc etc... And to make a long story short, other than Ashu ke taraf se ek written guarantee vouching for us, all we need to do is provide a marriage certificate. They are even letting us bring her home, but legally we cannot have her till we get married. Technically she will under Ashutosh's guardianship."

"Lekin that will take a while. I mean shaadi ki date, and all the arrangements...kam se kam do chaar hafte toh lag hi jayenge. Toh are the officals willing to let Ashutosh have temporary guardianship for that long?"

"I don't think so, but pakka nahin pataa. Anyway, all that is irrelevant. We don't want to take any chances. So we have decided that we are going to get married the day after tomorrow. Pehle subha mandir mein shaadi hogi, phir late afternoon registrar ke office mein court marriage. I have a colleague who can pull some strings and set things up for us. He is a really good guy. Aur phir over time maine bhi uske liye kaafi favors kare hain. Baaki jo bhi riti rivaaz hain, woh sab baad mein hote rahenge. So? Kya khayal hai? Acceptable."

Nidhi was stunned,"OH MY!!!! Wow!!! Anji talk about chat mangani phat byaah. I think iss se accha example aur kahin nahin hoga. Par tere case mein abhi mangani hui kahan hai. Its just straight to the shaadi part. Anyway, it's awesome. I am so happy for the both of you."

"I know you are. After all, yeh sab teri wajah se hi toh ho raha hai. Although thoda nervous zaroor hoon."

"I can imagine. Anji jo kadam tu uthaane jaa rahi hai, it will not be an easy one. I mean shaadi, and a new born all at once...It will be really hard. Pehele toh shaadi hi bahut bada adjustment hota hai, but normally jab tak bacche ke aane ki khabar milti hai tab tak insaan shaadi shudaa zindagi ke saath usually adjust kar chuka hota hai. And Bacche ke liye mindset ko adjust karne ke liye aath nau mahine hote hain. But, you will have to do it all at once. Lekin mujhe pataa hai ke tu bahut strong hai, and if anyone can handle this situation and come out with flying colors, its you. Plus hum sab bhi toh hain tere saath."

Anji cut her off, "I know that Nidhi. I know that I have the support of my whole family behind me. Issiliye toh mujh mein itni himmat aayi ke main confident hoon that I will be able to handle my new life, and both my new roles, as a wife and a Mom. Tujhe pataa hai jis din se mujhe pataa chalaa meri condition ka, tab se mere dil ke kisi hisse ke andar ek kabhi na khatm hone waala andhera sa chaaya hua tha. Mujhe kuch bhi accha nahin lagta tha, and kuch bhi karne ka man nahin karta tha. I just wanted to be left alone. Phir teri shaadi hui, and then Baba passed away. Aur maine thodi der ke liye sab bhoola diya, because I wanted to take care of you. And uss beech meri zindagi mein Armaan aaye, aur inhone mujhe sambhaala, mujhe zindagi ke liye nayi hope di. And aaj tune aur Jeeju ne... Nidhi har ladki ka sapna hota hai ke woh kissi din maa bane. Ke kissi din woh bhi apne bacche ko apni godh mein khilaaye , uske bacchpan mein apna bacchpan phir se jiye. Par mere andar toh in sirf sapnon ke toote hue tukde the. I had given up all hopes of becoming a mother. Yeh bacchi...yeh bacchi mere liye aashirwaad hai, dua hai, mere Mom and Papa ki, aur meri behen ke pyaar ki. Yeh mere koi acche karmon ka phal hai jo bhagwaan mujhe de rahein hain. She is a miracle. Har kissi ko aisa chance thodi hi milta hai. Aur yeh sab teri wajah se. Mujhe samajh nahin aataa ke main tere iss ehsaan ka badla..."

"Just shut up Anji. Ek taraf toh behen, miracle, pyaar and aashirwaad, jaisi badi baatein karti hai, aur doosri taraf ehsaan jaise shabd se meri insult kar rahi hai. I haven't done anything. Bas woh kiya jo ek behen doosri behen ke liye karti hai. I just want you to be happy always. Teri khushi mere liye sab kuch hai. Ab bas... Enough of all the senti talk. Lets all of us go out to celebrate. Kyon? Aap kya kehte hain Baba?" She turned to Dr. Mathur.

"Bilkul theek kaha beta. Celebrate toh karna hi hai. Bhai double double khushi ka auka hai...actually double nahin triple khushi! Ek toh subha subha Nidhi bitiya ke taraf se khushkhabri, aur ab Armaan Anji ki shaadi, aur inke ghar aane waali khushi. Bhai wah, kitna shubh din hai. Chalo pehle mandir chal kar bhagwaan ka shukriya adaa kartein hain, phir kahin bahar chal kar celebrate kartein hain. OK?"

"Haan bhai, phir agle teen dinon ke arrangements ke liye bhi toh plans banane hain. Bahut kuch karna hai, aur bahut kam samay hai." Bhua said and then immediately started muttering to herself about what arrangements needed to be made.

Later that night, after coming back from the dinner celebrations, Ashutosh and Armaan sat in Ashutosh's study to go over and iron out all the details pertaining to the baby's adoption.

"Ashu hospital kab discharge karega baby ko?"

"I think the day after tomorrow. Kam se kam aaj subha tak toh yeh hi plans the. Baaki kal subha dekhenge ke baby ki progress kaisi hai. So...are you ready to be a father?"

"Pata nahin Ashutosh ready hoon bhi aur nahin bhi. Kal tak toh iss baat ki wait thi ke kab Anji shaadi ke liye haan karegi. Par aaj ek dum se shaadi, aur phir baby...My head is still spinnning. But at the same time ek ajeeb si excitement bhi hai. I can't wait to hold my daughter inh my arms. I never thought ke meri zindagi mein yeh din kabhi aayega. I mean for me marriage was not even an option till I met Anji. Lekin bottom line yeh hai ke I am happy. Infact I am happier than I ever have been in my life. I can't wait to start my life with my family."

Ashutosh smiled affectionately at his friend,"I am glad. And I am happy for you and Anji. Mujhe khushi hai ke tujhe itni acchi life partner mil rahi hai. And Armaan...I am very proud of you also. Jis tarha se tune Anji ko support kiya hai, is commendable. Indian society mein not being able to bear children is a big stigma on a woman. Tune uss baat ko shuru hone se pehele hi khatm kar diya. I wish only the best for all three of you."

"Thanks meri jaan. Mujhe pataa hai ke tu meri har mein mere saath khushi mein shaamil ai. Accha ab we have talked enough about me and my life for one day. Meri shaadi aur hamari beti ka adoption, dono ke saare stails bhi finalize ho gaye hain. Par Ashutosh main abhi iss wajah se tere saath nahin aaya tha. Kal ka din shaadi ke saare preparations mein and ghar ko bacchi ke liye ready karne mein nikal jayega, aur parson shaadi mein. And once the baby is home I don't know when we will have a chance to sit like this, just the two of us, for one of our late night chat sessions. Life as we knew it is coming to an end. Sab kuch badal raha hai mere dost. Iss liye I wanted to sit with you for a while tonight and talk...about you and Nidhi."

Ashutosh looked at him with a guarded expression,"What about me and Nidhi?''

Armaan glared at him,"Who are you trying to fool Ashutosh. Shayad tu bhool gaya tu kiss se baat kar raha hai. Main tere ko tere se bhi behtar jaanta hoon. Ashu tu uss se keh khyon nahin deta ke tuu uss se pyaar karta hai?"

Ashutosh stared at him for several long seconds, before closing his eyes and leaning back on his chair tiredly.

He sighed,"Because she does not want my love."

"How can you say that with such conviction? Jab tune uss se kuch kaha hi nahin abhi tak, toh tujhe kaise pata ke usse kya chahiye? Hunh? Ashu, meri jaan, ek chance le kar toh dekh. What have you got to loose? Zyada se zyada she will say no. I mean its not as if you will be any worse off. So...what say?"

"Armaan tu kyon mere peeche pada hai? Yaar kya chahta hai tu mujhse? Why can't you just let things be?"

"Main tujhse kuuch nahin chahta Ashutosh, tere liye chahta hoon. Dher saari khushi. I just want you to be happy. Yaar ateet se bahar nikal. Har koi ladki Nisha jaisi nahin hoti. Aur ab toh tu baap banane waala hai, apna nahin toh kam se kam apne aane waale bacche ka tohh soch. Nidhi se baat kar ke toh dekh, shayad woh maan jaaye. I mean yeh baccha uss ka bhi to hai."

"Armaan I have no doubt ke agar main bacche ko beech mein laaunga to woh maan jayegi. Lekin main yeh nahin chahta. Main itna khudgarz kaise ho sakta hoon? I mean, haven't I been unfair enough to her already? Armaan why should she be guilted into tying herself to a man so much older than her, someone whom she doesn't love, and would never have married had she had a choice in the first place. Why should I force her to sacrifice herself for the sake of a child she is having because she thinks that she has no choice, because she is bound by a legal contract? One she feels that she is legally and morally obligated to fulfill. Yar woh itni choti hai, usse aage us poori zindagi hai. I am sure she must have had some dreams about her life and in which direction she wanted to take it. Main uss se usski zindagi jeene ka haq kaise cheen sakta hoon? No Armaan! Absolutely not!"

"Ashutosh tune saare decisions khud hi tai kar liye. Doesn't Nidhi have a say in any of it? Tune kabhi inn saari baaton ko doosre pehlu se sochne ki koshish kari hai? Soch zara ek baar. Jisse bacche ke baare mein tu baat kar raha hai, woh usska bhi hai. Tune socha ke shayad woh apne bacche ke paas rehna chahti ho, lekin uss contract ke wajah se tere se kuch kehne se dar rahi ho? Phir? Ashutosh, Nidhi bahut naak waali ladki hai, aur jahan tak maine usse jaana hai woh kabhi kuch nahin bolegi. Ashutosh koi bhi maa apne bacche ko kaise give up kar sakti hai? Don't you think that that is more unfair. Kam se kam choice toh de usse. Accha soch agar woh kehti hai ke woh apne baccche ko giveup nahin karna chahe toh? Toh tu kya karega? Ashutosh aaj kal courts bhi baache ke upar maa ka haq zyada samajhte hain. Aur meri jaan, chances are, even with the almost ironclad contract, like the one I drew up for you, that Nidhi will almost surely get custody. The circumstances under which she signed the documents were...unusual. Any halfway decent lawyer can argue that she did not know what she was doing because of the stress she was under. I told you that in the beginning, right? Ashu should Nidhi choose to fight you for custody, she will most probably win."

"Arman woh naubat nahin aayegi. Nidhi ke sirf ishaare ke zaroorat hai. Main usse kabhi kissi cheez ke liye manaa nahin kar sakta hoon. I will let her have the baby if that is what she wants. Mere liye uss se zyada koi cheez maiyne nahin rakkhti. But she has to tell me that face to face. I don't want to force anything on her anymore."

Armaan shook his head in exasperation,"Ashutosh koshish toh..."

"Armaan maine kaha naa... Please ab iss baat ko yahin rehene de."

"Theek hai, mat kar, lekin agar main Nidhi se baat karoon toh? Main usse samjhaa sakta hoon."

"Sun yaar, mujhe pataa hai tujhe meri phikr hai, par please... Let me have some pride left. Mere ko uski daya nahin chahiye. Tere ko mere liye kissi se bheek mangne ki zaroorat nahin hai."

"Ashutosh main samajhta hoon, lekin ek baar phir tuhe yeh kehta hoon ke sochle. Kahin aisa na ho ke baad mein tere ko apni pride ki koi bahut badi price deni pade. Ashu har cheez hamesha waisi nahin hoti jaisi humein dikhti hai. Khair, you are an adult, tu dekh le."

Armaan called Anji on his way home,"Anji tumne Nidhi se baat ki?"

"Haan," she sighed,"lekin bahut stubborn hai. She is not ready to listen to anything. Says she doesn't want his pity, and all such nonsense. Samajh nahin aa raha hai kya karoon. I feel like banging her head against something."

"I know what you mean, I got the same response too. Ashutosh bhi apni baat par adda hua hai. Aise toh kuch nahin hone wala. We will have to take will have to take matters into our hands, khud toh yeh dono kuch nahin karenge."

"Ji, aap theek keh reh hain. Theek hai we can start immediately. Hmm."

"Nahin, abhi nahin. Ek baar baby ko ghar aane do phir."

"Yes you are right. Samajh gayi aap kya keh rahein hain."

"So on a totally different note... Are you ready to start your new life? Ghabrahat toh nahin ho rahin hai?"

"I can't wait. And ghabrane ki kya baat hai. I am going to be with the man I love, and getting a daughter along with it. Iss se zyada wonderful aur kya ho sakta hai."

"Anji mujhe bahut khushi hui ke tumhe mujh par itna bharosa hai. Zindagi ke har mod par saath saath chalenge, chahe jo bhi ho. Yeh mera vaada hai. Hamari umr ke faaslon ko hamare beech nahin aane doonga."

"Yeh aap kya keh rahein hain! Mujhe aap par, aur hamare pyaar par poora bharosa hai. I love you."

"Thank you Anji. I love you too."

The next day and a half passed by in a whirl. There was so much to do, so many details that needed to be taken care of that time just flew by. Shyaama was caught up in the marriage preparations, so she did not get to have a minute alone with Nidhi, whom she knew had been avoiding being alone with her. She had been stunned, as she had listen to Armaan and Anji had disclose all the details and the reasons behind Nidhi and Ashutosh's marriage. She was extremely worried about her. But, she promised herself, that she would talk to Nidhi the first chance she got after the wedding.

Even Ashutosh hardly got a chance to speak to her. Nidhi wanted to make sure that even though the wedding had been arranged on such short notice, that everything be as perfect as she could possibly make it for Anji, so she had taken a three day leave from the hospital. In fact, she had, after taking permission from both his aunt and father, packed up a few clothes and essentials and had gone to stay with Anji until her wedding. It was strange to be in the room by himself, thought Ashutosh, as he looked around. The room just wasn't the same without her. And, though he would not admit it in front of anyone, Ashu missed his wife terribly.

"If I am missing her this much now, when I know that she will be back in a couple of days, then what will I do when she leaves for good?" He muttered to himself, as he stared at their wedding picture.

The ceremony at the temple was beautiful. It was also a bit painful, as well as an emotional one for Nidhi, reminding her of her own wedding not so long ago. The most difficult part had been the part of the kanyadaan, which brought back a flood of memories of her father as he had been on that day. He had looked so very happy, and peaceful. Nidhi was so lost in her thoughts that the next thing she knew was that the ceremony was over, the priest was telling everyone that Armaan and Nidhi were husband and wife. They both got up from the mandap and went to touch the feet, and get the blessings of the elders.

Both Anji's and Nidhi's eyes were moist as the two friends hugged each other. After that there was a quick lunch and a change of clothes before the newly weds had to rush off to the registrar's for their civil ceremony.

By the time everything was done everyone was exhausted and collapsed on the couch as soon as they got home. After a couple of minutes Anji opened her eyes and looked around.

"Jeeju, Nidhi kahan hai? Courthouse se nikalne ke baad dikhai hi nahin di."

Both her parents, Armaan and Ashutosh also had a puzzled look on their face as they realized that Nidhi was not there.

"Anji maine socha ke woh tumhare saath hogi! Ussne toh mujhse yeh hi kaha tha ke woh tumhare saath ride karegi."

"Par Ashu Nidhi ne toh humse bola ke woh tumhare saath aa rahi hai. So where is she? And Baba bhi dikhaai nahin de rahein hain. Bhua aapko..."

Just then Nidhi spoke up from the doorway,"Main yahan hoon Jeeju. Aapka aur Anji ka wedding gift lene gayi thi."

Everyone looked up at her. Nidhi was standing in the doorway carrying a pink bundle in her arms, beaming from ear to ear. Dr. Mathur was standing right behind her with a similar expression on his face as well.

Everyone stood up, and had stunned expressions on their faces, as Nidhi walked slowly up to stand in front of Anji. She looked over to the side where Armaan stood.

"Jeeju aap wahan khade khade kya kar rahein hain? Idhar aayiye na. Apni wife ke paas aakar khade hoyiye."

Armaan moved dazedly across the room and came up next to Anji. By this time Anji had tears running down her cheeks.

"Nidhi...Yeh...Yeh sab...tune kaise kab...mujhe toh kuch samajh mein nahin aa raha hai." She said staring at the tiny baby in Nidhi's arms.

Nidhi grinned,"Abhi sab batati hoon. Pehle teri amaanat toh tujhe saunp doon."

And she gently placed the tiny bundle i n Anji's arms. Then she reached out to wipe the tears off her cheeks as well as Anji's. After that she turned to Armaan and wiped his cheeks as well.

"Accha abhi aap dono rona band kijiye. You know naa babies are very affected by the environment around them. Ab agar yeh rone lag gayi toh woh phir aap dono ka headache hai. Abhi isski Massi ki duty aaj ke liye khatm."

Everyone laughed. Then Shyaama came up to her,"Par beta baby ko toh kal discharge karne waale the, toh phir aaj...kaise?"

"Woh sab jawab main deta hoon Shyaamaji." Dr. Mathur spoke up.

He came up and put an arm around Nidhi's shoulders and hugged her to his side.

"Yeh idea Nidhi ka tha. She wanted to surprise Anji and Armaan. Parson jab saari baatein decide hui, usske baad yeh mere paas aayi and I just pulled a few strings. Of course tum dono ko abhi legal papers par sign karna hai. Par that is a formality. Kal Jaa kar sign kar aana. I have taken care of the rest. Kyon kaisa laga surprise tum dono ko? Hmmm?"

Nidhi came and put both of her arms around Anji, mindful of the baby in between, then drew back.

"Anji how could I not give you a wedding gift? Maine jab socha ke kya doon, toh iss se better mujhe kuch bhi samajh mein nahin aayaa. Maine tere se vaadaa kiya tha na ke tere ko Maa bulaane waalaa zaroor aayega teri zindagi main. I am so happy ke main itni jaldi apna vaadaa poora kar saki. Lekin ismein Baba and Ashutosh ka poora poora haath hai. Inn dono ki help ke bina kuch nahin ho sakta tha."

Armaan and Anji came over and bent to touch Dr. Mathur feet." Nahin nahin isski koi zaroorat nahin. Tum dono ke chehron ki khushi mere liye kaafi hai. Bhagwaan kare tum sab hamesha issi tarha khush raho. God bless all three of you."

Then they turned to Nidhi, but before they could utter a word, she put her hands on their mouth.

"No more thank you's. Bas. Ab aap log bas smile kijiye and take care of your daughter. Oh...haan ek baat toh bhool gayi. I don't do night shifts. Din mein baby sitting is fine, but raat ko you both are on your own."

Her words made everyone laugh, and also lightened the atmosphere. And Ashutosh came up to hug them too, and blessed the baby. Emotion had made his throat clog up so he could not say too much, but his eyes spoke the volumes, which was understood by both his friend and his sister in law. After that there was laughter and noise as everyone came up to Anji wanting turns to hold the baby, and all of that was followed by the few traditions and little games that newly weds had to play before they could retire to their rooms. Later Nidhi escorted both the newly weds, along with their new daughter, to Anji's room for their first night. Both Anji and Armaan were surprised even further when they saw the room fully decorated and decked out like a scene from a movie.

She escorted them in,"Would you both like me to take the Baby for tonight? I am sure you both want to be alone hai na? Baby ke saath toh aap..." she said with a wink and cheeky grin, as she took the baby from Anji.

Anji blushed, but Armaan came up and took the baby back,"Aap phikr naa karein SAALIJI. I think we can manage. Aab aap jaa sakti hain befikr hokar."

She made a sad pouty face,"Haan ji, ab mera kya kaam. You know duniya bahut matlabi hai, kaam nikla and sab bhool gaye. Anji..."

She was cut off as Ashutosh came up behind her,"Nidhi I think we need to leave them alone. I am sure both Armaan and Anji are more than capable of managing. Humein ab ghar chalna chahiye, tumhe bhi rest ki zaroorat hai. Pichle do din kaafi exertion hua hai. You have to take care of yourself. Good Night to the both of you, we will see you guys in the morning."

Both Armaan and Anji noticed that Nidhi's face fell and her eyes lost their happy glow as soon as Ashutosh uttered the words. She nodded to them, and gave them a tiny superficial smile as she turned away and followed Ashutosh out.

Armaan and Anji looked at each other, before going to sit on the bed.

"Ashutosh kabhi nahin sudhrega..."

"Armaan he is just concerned about her. Aapne dekha naa how tired she looked during dinner?"

"I know... Lekin he could have said all of that in a softer tone. Itna kadak sound karne ki kya zaroorat thi. Har baat karne ka apna dhang hota hai. "

"It not just one or the other, its the both of them. Niidhi ko bhi itna sensitive hone ki kya zaroorat hai. Thodi samajh se kaam lena chahiye na. Baat yeh hai Armaan, ke there is total lack of understanding on both parts. Dono ek doosre ko bahut pyaar kaartein hain, lekin jiss tarha se inke rishte ki shuruaat hui hai... That is the main problem."

Armaan nodded. He was about to say something, when the baby started squirming, and then let out a yell as she started crying. Both Armaan and Anji looked a each other in panic and started looking around the room, frantically searching for something that would sooth the baby.

Anji suddenly spotted a tiny cradle on the far side of the room. Handing the baby to Armaan, she rushed over and found a small bag with a note on top. She picked it up and smiled,"If you are reading this, right about now my niece is probably crying, and you both are panicking. Maine toh kaha tha I could take her for tonight...Kair... Anyway usse most probably bhook lagi hogi so you might want to try feeding her. Another reason could be that her diaper is dirty. Or, it could be a combination of both. I leave it up to you both what you want to do first. There is a bottle already made up for her, and plenty of diapers and wipes etc to last you all night. Direction for making another bottle, which she will probably want in another 2-3 hours, are on the formula box. Rest, well you are her parents you figure it out. Saara kaam main thodi hi karroongi. So Good Night, and Good Luck.!!!!! P.S. You can thank me for thinking of everything in the morning..." Anji laughed as she finished reading the note. Taking the bottle Nidhi had prepared out of the bag she went and took the baby from Armaan and put the bottle to her mouth. Anji smiled as she saw the infant latch herself greedily to the nipple. She should have known that Nidhi would have taken care of all the details. No matter what Nidhi said, this was one debt that could never be repaid.

By the time Anji had seen to all of the baby's needs, she was sleeping peacefully once again. And, in the meantime Armaan had moved the cradle near their bed so that the baby would be near to them. Anji laid the sleeping baby inside, tucked the blankets around her snuggly, and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. As she stood staring down at the infant, Armaan came up and stood behind her admiring his new daughter. Then after a few seconds he put his arm around Anji and turned her to face him.

"Ab hamari beti toh soh rahi hai, so maybe you can give your husband a bit your TLC now. Aakhir humein bhi toh aapki attention chahiye. I have been patient long enough, nahin?"

Anji blushed as she moved close and leaned against him. Armaan crushed her in his arms, and held her close for several moments just savoring her presence. Then he drew back and looked into her eyes," So... Biwi, shall we start our life together...?"

Anji nodded shyly. Armaan bent and put his lips on hers and kissed her passionately, leaving her breathless with anticipation on rising tide of desire. Then picking her up he laid her on their bed and came down beside her.

When they got home, Ashutosh saw that both his father and his aunt had already retired to their rooms. In a voice devoid of all emotion he told Nidhi to go up and sleep, and that he would come later as he had some work that he needed to finish before sleeping.

It was a flimsy excuse, he knew that, but Ashu wanted to give her some time. So he waited downstairs in his study until he was sure that Nidhi would be asleep. After a while he went up and crept quietly into the room. It was dark with only the night lamp burning n the corner. Assuming that she was asleep, Ashutosh tried to be as quiet as possible as he went over to the closet to get his night suit. As he gaze passed over to the bed he stopped in his tracks and stared in surprise. Nidhi was not there. Ashutosh turned on the lights and looked around, but, she was not in the room. He walked over to the terrace, but the doors were locked from the inside. He wondered where she could have gone. Then an idea occurred to him, and turning around he hurried out of the room.

Just as he had guessed, he found her in her father's room asleep on the bed. Ashutosh walked softly up to where she lay and stood there staring at her for several long minutes. Then sighing silently, he turned and left, closing the door softly behind him. He understood why she was there. Ashutosh had been observing her throughout the ceremony and had seen the sadness on her face. He had known immediately that she was remembering her father, and his heart ached for her. But, he could not do anything other than stand and watch. He desperately wished he had the right to go and comfort her...

Nidhi bit her lip, and sighed silently as she heard the door close behind Ashutosh. She knew the moment he had come into the room, and had closed her eyes and feigned sleep. It had been really hard to keep still as he had stood staring down at her, but she dot have the strength to talk to him right then. She knew that Ashutosh wanted to talk to her. Over the last could of days he had tried several times to get her alone, but, she had gone out of her to avoid any sort of contact with him. She could not bear any more of his indifference, and had wanted a bit of a respite from their issues. She knew that she could not keep this up indefinitely, but she really needed this break from him. So Armaan and Anji's wedding had given her an excellent excuse to keep busy and away from him. In fact she had not talked to him at all since the day the night before Anji's wedding had been fixed. The only times they had had any interactions had been in front of, and for the benefit of their family. Nidhi sat up and dried her tears, and desperately wished that there was a way to turn back time...

The next couple of months went by quickly. Between her hospital duties, and spending time with Anji and the baby, Nidhi made sure that she spent as little time in Ashutosh's company as possible. In fact, she went out of her way to make sure that she was asleep when he came into their room, or she would pretend to asleep so he would leave her alone. Then there were days when she would not come to the room at all and spend the night in her father's room. She even managed to make sure that she rode to the hospital with Dr. Mathur in the mornings, to avoid being alone in the same car as Ashutosh.

As for Ashutosh he was fast reaching the end of his patience as far as her avoidance tactics were concerned. He knew what she was doing, and why. he also knew that she was often awake when he came up, and was only pretending to be asleep. He had let all this go in the beginning, but now her childish behavior was just getting on his nerves. He knew that she did not love him, but he had the thought that they at least had an understanding, in fact, they had even had a friendship of sorts when they had first gotten married. But now she was acting as though even the very sight of him repelled her, and the pain was just too much to bear. He could not stand her distance, specially since he knew that all too soon it would be a permanent thing.

Something had to give, and soon. Both Ashutosh and Nidhi knew that it was only a matter of time. And sure enough the day came. Nidhi was about five months along and it was time for her monthly check up with her OB, and also was due to have a sonography. Before she had left for work that morning she had informed Bhua, who up until then had accompanied her for her previous checkups. Nidhi, up till that day had done her utmost to make sure that Ashutosh was not with her. She knew that he was not very happy about that, but since she made sure that he got all of the reports for the checkup. So, even though he had put up with her deliberately excluding in regards to her pregnancy, he fact that she did not inform him about the sonography appointment, thus depriving him of the opportunity of getting the first glimpse his child, was the trigger that lit the fuse.

As they were coming out of the doctors office after her appointment, Nidhi and Bhua ran into Ashutosh.

"Bhua aap? Yahan? "

"Arre haan. Aaj woh Nidhi ka doctor ke saath check up thaa na, uss ke liye aayi thi. Ashu betaa ab tak toh mein kuch nahin boli, par yeh jo tu har waqt masroof rehta hai na, yeh baat bilkul acchi nahin hai. Aisa bhi kya ke apni patni aur hone waale bacche ke liye bhi time nahin tere paas. Aaj iski sonography hui, aur tu uske liye bhi nahin aa saka. Yeh Nidhi hi hai jo sab kuch chup chaap bardasht kar leti hai, koi aur hoti toh tujhe pataa chalta."

Nidhi lowered her eyes and flushed guiltily as Ashutosh glared at her with accusing eyes.

"Yeh tu isski taraf itne gusse se kyon dekh raha hai. Nidhi ne mujhe kuch nahin kaha. Yeh bechaari toh teri taraf daari karti hai hamesha. Sawal toh main tuhse kar rahi hoon."

Ashutosh turned back to face his Aunt,"I am sorry Bhua, aap theek keh reh hain . Promise karta hoon aaj ke baad aisa kabhi nahin hoga. Aaj ke baad har appointment mein Nidhi ke saath main hi jaaoonga. And Nidhi ko mujhe remind karne ki bhi zaroorat bhi nahin padegi. Main khud Dr. Ranaa se iske aage ke saare apointments lekar apni reminders mein enter kr doonga. Kyon Nidhi, ab toh koi shikaayat nahin hogi na mujhse?"

And then he put his arms around her shoulder and pulled her close to his side.

Bhua smiled and looked at the both of the indulgently. After blessing them and asking if there was anything special Nidhi wanted to have for dinner she went home feeling relieved that she had managed to smooth things out between the two of them.

As Nidhi turned to walk away,Ashutosh caught hold of her arm and said softly,"Just a minute Nidhi, I need a minute of your time. Please come with me."

Nidhi knew that the time for reckoning had come. The minute they got there he told the peon to make sure that they were not disturbed. Then locking the door behind them, he turned to face her.

"What the hell are you trying to do Nidhi? I never guessed that you could hide behind lies."

"I have not told any lies. Aur aapka lya matlab hai... Main kya karne ki koshish kar rahin hoon? Kya kehne ki koshish kar rahein hain aap?"

"Mera matlab meri family se hai. Bhua se kyon kaha ke I am too busy to accompany you? When did I ever say that? For that matter when have I ever said anything, when have you ever given me a chance to say anything? Mujhe toh tumne kabhi kuch bhi bataana zaroori nahin samjhaa. Other than telling me you were pregnant, you have kept me away from anything and everything concerning your pregnancy. Tumhein toh aajkal mere saaye se bhi allergy hogayi hai, jaise. Don't you think that I know what you are doing? Don't you think that I can't see past the excuses you use to keep away, to keep me away? I am not a fool, and I don't appreciate being treated as one."

"I resent your accusations. I have never thought you were a fool, nor have I ever treated you as one. And I have never lied to Bhua or you, or anyone else. And they are my family too. I love them both a lot. My only crime is that I did not correct Bhua's assumptions. But what else was I to do? Aap bataiye? Aapne kahi kaha ke aapko mere saath appointments ke liye jaana hai? How was I to know what you want or what you don't want? Aapne aaj tak kabhi koi interest nahin dikhaaya meri pregnancy mein. Jis din aapko bataaya tha uss din se you have never asked me about it. And phir I have always given you the reports of all the check ups, I thought you were fine with that. All you had to do was tell me. Ashutosh aapko kitna involve hona hai kitna nahin yeh aapke upar hai, ismein meri marzi ka koi issue nahin hai. This is your child, mera role toh superficial hai, I am just the means for you to get the child you want. Mere part toh aapke contract ke mutaabik yeh hi hai hain naa? I have no say in the matter, your contract clearly says I have no role other than as a surrogate. And I will have no rights to the child ever, nor will I ever have any kind of say in it's life. Yeh hi likkha hai na. Well as per our deal I am doing what is required. Maine aap pe, ya iss bacche pe kabhi apna koi right nahin samjhaa. In fact, I have gone out of my way to try and make things as comfortable for you as I can by keeping away. Mujhe pataa hai that you would like to keep as minimum of a contact between us as possible, so I have tried to facilitate that. That's all!"

Ashutosh was stunned,"When the hell did I ever say that? Aisa kya kiya hai jiss se tumne yeh sab bakwas assume kar liya? Tum ho jo raat ko sone ka pretend karti ho. Tum hi ho jo apne Baba ke kamre mein jaa kar chupti ho. Tumhi bahane se mere Baba ke saath Hospital jaati ho mere ko avoid karne ke liye, and tumhi ho jo bina kahe ghar chali jaati ho shyaam ko yaa phir der tak kaam karne ke bahaane dhoondhti rehti ho. Nidhi you know as well as I, that these are excuses to stay away and to keep away from me, and to keep me away from our child."

"Pehle toh this is YOUR child. Not mine. I m the one who has to give give up so please don't say ke eh hamara hai. Hamara would indicate that I have some rights on it. I don't ave any rights. Mujhe toh yeh bhi nahin pataa ke iske paida hone ke baad aap ek dum mujhe iski zindagi se jaane ke liye kahenge, ya mjhe isske saath thoda waqt milega ke bhi nahin. I don't know anything. I have tried to not let myself even think of it as my child. Ek maa ke liye apne bacche se badh kar kuch nahin hota, and woh kabhi usse apne se alag nahin kar sakti. Yet that is exactly what I am having to do. Iss liye maine kabhi isse appna baccha, and apne aapko iski maa, kabhi nahin maana. Yeh aapka baccha hai. Mera iss par koi haq nahin. As far ass I am concerned I am just a vessel for you. Aur hamare beech iss se zyada kaya hai? You have made that more than clear by all your actions, that you don't want to have anything more to do with me.

"MAINE!!!!! My actions...?"

"Haan aapke actions. Aur kiske?"

"Kaunse Actions?"

Nidhi looked at him and shook her head,"Ashutosh please let it be. Inn baaton se kya faiyda? Thode mahinon ki baat hai, phir aapko mere se chutkara mil jayega."

"How can I let it go? Tumne mere upar jo ilzaam lagayein hain unka proof bhi toh do. I have taken enough flak from you. And contract ko beech mein na laao, I have not brought up the contract since the day we got married. In fact if you remember I extended an offer of friendship, which you excepted, on that very day. Is this your idea of friendship? Nidhi maine hamesha tumhari iccha ke samne sar jhukaya hai. I have bent over backwards for you. I have done everything I could to make you comfortable with our arrangement..."

"That's what I mean!!!! Arrangement!!!! See aapke munh se nikalgaya naa. What we have is an arrangement. That's all."

Ashutosh looked at her with amazement. His anger, which was fueled by his own pain at her lack of understanding towards him and misinterpretations of his actions made him lash out at her.

Words which he did not mean, and would regret later came bursting out of his mouth,"Of all the ungrateful, self centered people I have met in my life Nidhi, you take the cake. After everything I have done for you, this is the thanks I get. You know anyone else would have probably been my slave if I had done half as much for them as I did for you. Accha hota ke tumhare jagah main kissi aur se ..."

Ashutosh stopped mid speech as he realized the enormity of the words that he had uttered. He and his damned anger. He had been told by both his father and Armaan that it would be his undoing, and that someday he was going to say something that he would never be able to atone for. What he had just said to Nidhi a few seconds ago, had been exactly that. Even though he did not mean the words, he knew that no matter what he did he would never be able to take them back, nor would he ever be able to erase them from Nidhi's heart and mind. He cursed himself to hell and back as the hurt in her eyes began pouring out in the tears that were flowing down her cheeks.

He extended his hand towards her, his face full of remorse, regret, apology and some emotion that Nidhi saw but could not identify just then as she was blinded by the unbearable agonizing pain that was ripping her very soul apart.

She backed away from him holding her hand out to ward him off, "NO!!! No, do not come near me! Do not try to touch me. And do not try to apologize. Jis baat ka ehsaas mujhe kab se thaa, woh aaj aapne khud confirm kar di. Aakhir ke aapke dil ki baat aapki zubaan pe aa hi gayi. I am sorry you have had to put up with my objectionable presence for this long. But no more. Aapko ab kabhi iss ungrateful, selfish ladki ki shakal tak nahin dekhni padegi. Aapko sirf aapke bacche se matlab hai, right? Theek hai. As per our contract I will give that to you. And usske baad we are done. You will get your child. I will make sure your lawyer informs you of it's birth. And the as soon as I am able I will come and deliver him or her to you in person. I will fulfill my part of our deal Dr. Ashutosh. I promise. Ab agar aapko aur nahin kehna ho toh main chalti hoon...and...I... I will leave it to you as to what explanation you want to give to you family regarding my departure. Jo bhi aap kahenge sabse, I will abide by that and back you up..."

Ashutosh reached out and grabbed her hand in a desperate attempt to stop her, and make her listen.

"Nidhi...please... Nidhi meri baat toh suno... Nidhi I did not mean any of it. Oh God, please believe me. Please Nidhi, rukko... I am so sorr"

"Please Dr. Ashutosh. Let me go. Ab inn sab baaton ke liye bahut der ho gayi hai. Mujhe kuch nahin sunanna. Just let me go..."

Nidhi struggled with him, and then with a sudden burst of strength she jerked out of his hold. But, the next second he let out a scream of terror as she saw Ashutosh stumble on the chair that had been right behind him. She watched in horror as he lost his balance and fell with his head striking the corner of his desk with a sickening thud.

"ASHUTOSH..."

"Nidhi..." He said in confusion as he reached out towards her. The panic in her voice as she screamed his name, the horror on her face, and her arms reaching out frantically towards him, were the last things he saw before his world went black.

Nidhi rushed to his side and sat down on to the floor next to him. As gently as she could, she pulled his upper body into her lap and cradled his head in her arms, "Ashutosh...Somebody help... Ashutos...

Ashutosh, darling open your eyes... Oh God No... Please No... Not my Ashutosh... Please don't let anything happen to him. Please God... I can't live without him... Mujhe nahin jeena inke bina... Ashutosh you can't leave me... Please...please be alright. Please aakhein kholiye. Kuch toh boliye... Aap jitna chahe mujhe daant saktein hain... Main aapko kuch nahin bolungi. Bas ek baar aankhein khol kar meri taraf dekhiye. Please aankhein kholiye. Main promise karti hoon agar aap kahege toh main yahan se challi jaaungi, aap bas apni aakhein kholiye. Aapko kabhi tang nahin karungi. Please... Please mujhe Maaf kar dijiye... I love you...I love you..."

She kept saying those three words as she clutched him tightly to her heart and rocked back and forth sobbing helplessly...