A/N: I am just feeling like I have just climbed the top of Mount Everest... My first paper will be published in the coming week... I am still can't believe it... Nearly 3 years of my life's hard work has now been worth it...
And, I just came here to share this joyous news with all of you... And, read 1-2 pages of posts... But, you guys are going like a fighter jet at full throttle... I had never expected to see that I missed nearly 6-7 pages of amazing posts in the past couple of days...
All of you absolutely rock... So, congrats to all the writers...
Today, I feel like sharing something from my real life...
My sister can't walk since the moment of her birth and has Cerebral Palsy... And, in fact, her first 7-8 years were a constant struggle. But, she is the most positive and the most inspirational figure in my life...
But, you know what I love the most about her... Despite all of the problems in her life, she is the most affectionate and the caring person that I have witnessed in my life.. There has not been a morning where she has not woken with a smile on her face...
And, let me tell you that her smile is by far, the most beautiful sight in my life...
From a very young age, I knew that I might be born as her brother but I also need to play the role of both a friend and at one point, a role of father/guide in her life...
But, you know, I don't think that she is my burden... You know why, because unlike her, I will not be able to live a single day, if I was in her shoes... In my mind, probably, she knew that I will not be able to handle it and hence, she decided to take this burden on her...
For me, she is more important and precious than God... So, I understand why Dev thinks that Ishwari was a like a God to him...
She loves to torture me but I also recognise the fact, that she depends on me... And, she is more important than my own personal desires... In fact, one of the main reasons that I decided to make my career in Artificial Intelligence (AI) and Internet of Things (IoT) was because I wanted to do something which could make her independent and empowered...
Hence, I know that when I finally decide to settle down, my partner will need understand that there will be situations in my life when my responsibility for my sister will supercede my love for her... I don't want my wife to treat my sister like a burden or hold a grudge against her, but respect her and love her like a sister...
And, I know that probably the biggest challenge in my life will not be love or trust on my wife, but balancing the my responsibilities as a brother and a partner/husband...
And, probably, this was why I connected with Dev and this story so much...
Like me, Dev also had responsibilities towards his family (and, especially his mother) and like me, these responsibilities made it difficult for him to cater the needs of Sonakshi.. He loved her deeply and madly, but was unable to create a balance between the two ends...
Usually, when two people meet and are looking for the a life partner, they are looking for compatibility... Whatever that is, I don't know it yet... Hopefully, I will do when I reach that stage...
But, for me, the first thing that I will probably notice or desire from my partner is how she interacts with Sonal... My sister is an amazing individual with her own thoughts, desires and views and she has the right to take her own decisions... She is both intelligent and naive in her thought-process.. She is an adult as well as a child... And, that's why I am so protective of her.
And, I absolutely hate those people who treat her like a 2 year old baby or treat her like a second-class citizen... I have seen some of my own family members do it and this is probably, I don't exactly feel any kind of deep connection with them...
For me, if my partner loves and respects Sonal, not as my sister but as Sonal herself... That's frankly, all I want and desire from her... Because, I know whoever can embrace my sister like that, will be a wonderful individual and soul... And, I will be indeed be blessed to have her in my life...
For me, what others or even my parents think of me, doesn't matter much.. But, how my Sonal perceives truly matters...
In my opinion, this was why Dev was so easily influenced by Ishwari because while other people words' didn't affect him, his mother's did... Even though, he really loved Sona, he was never truly capable of sharing his inner demons with her and hence, guarded his past whenever she tried to intervene...
Similarly, after the separation, Suhana became the centre of Sona's Universe and hence, this is the core reason why Soha's opinions or how her daughter perceives is so important... She does indeed love Dev deeply but like Dev, she is also clutching to her sorrows of the past 7 years so tightly, that she is unknowingly drifting away from him.
If Dev is susceptible to not listening to his mind, when emotions overwhelm him... Similarly, Sona is guilty of not listening to her heart when her emotions tend to consume her.
Now, coming to the topic of the ongoing tussle between Dev and Sonakshi that has become the crux of the conversations on this thread...
The only thing interesting about their current situation is how their core or fundamental aspect of their identities are acting as barriers and stopping them from progressing in their relationship further...
The only time, I hated Sonakshi in the series was when she tried to force change Dev's habits and control his relationships.. At that moment, I felt that she was acting like a control freak, instead of his wife.. And, this was season 1...
I can't blame her for her actions related to hiding Soha's birth from Dev, since he absolutely deserved it after his actions during the infertility track... He blames himself for not being there for Sona's delivery or her pregnancy, but he never deserved it to be there, in the first place...
7 years separation might have been a harsh and agonising period for Dev but he needed it to know where he went wrong.. He took Sona's love for granted and hence, paid the price in the harshest way possible...
But, I do hold Sona guilty of hiding the truth of Vicky's actions from Dev... She didn't had any right to hold something so monumental from her husband...
On the other hand, Dev's current behaviour and intervention in his wife's professional life is equally wrong...
And, I also don't agree that Dev is a chauvinist... Simply because, he has been completely supportive of Sonakshi's decisions, whether personal or professional... Sonakshi couldn't have found a better partner than him for her...
His qualities to be accept her as she is as well as his unwavering love for her (as well as his protectiveness/over-protectiveness), his sense of humor and his ways of making her smile truly serves as ample evidence of how good, he has been as a husband/partner for her..
And, while Sona might not seem like the perfect candidate for being Dev's wife, with all of her hiding her emotions and inner self from him... But, it is her very same qualities that are being put on a trial, that makes her the One' for Dev...
Like him, she also not only understands the responsibility that comes with being the so-called head' of the family, but she also understands the consequences and the sacrifices that he is required to make...
She is slowly but gradually, embracing her role as the emotional anchor of his life and also understanding her significance in his life...
Some people might accuse her of considering herself of being flawless, but she has given ample amount of evidence in support of my argument...
In her conversation with Nisha, she had accepted her flaws of trying to change Dev too much and controlling him during her marriage (7 years back)... This was why, she tried so hard to reunite his family, even though, she didn't require it since she knew how important was their significance in her husband's life...
She might have made Dev sign a legal document but she has never tried to create a negative image of Dev or poison her daughter's mind... In fact, she has always encouraged their relationship...
Unlike Dev, she might not shed thousand tears, but like him, she also does feel remorse and guilt for not being there for him in the past 7 years... Since, the reunion, she has not once run away from him and while she may have had arguments with him, but she has always supported him...
At the current moment, both of them are acting irrationally simply because both of them are fighting with their own personal demons and until and unless, something or someone doesn't show them the consequences of their actions, they will continue to act as per their instincts...
In my opinion, Sonakshi needs to tell Dev that she loves him too much and assure him that she will never leave him, despite the challenges that will come up in their future... But, she could only do so if she stays with him and constantly remind him of her love and her affection.. And, it could only happen, when she learns to let go of her fear and trust him with her vulnerable self...
But, similarly, Dev also needs to tell Sonakshi that he loves her, in spite of her flaws and she doesn't need to anything extra to deserve his love... She is already special to him and always will be.. For him, all it matters is her happiness... But, he could only do this if he gives her the freedom that she so desperately desires...
In my opinion, the only people who are to blame here are Ishwari and Bijoy...
Ishwari's insecurity that her son would leave him was so deep-rooted that she unintentionally welcomed and encouraged this possessive sort of... love from Dev... She never realised that while she was basking when her son was worshipping her, that she was making him incapable of acting rationally, if he was emotionally overcharged...
Dev's problem is not his heart but how he loves someone so deeply that he easily becomes a victim of this powerful sense of feeling abandoned, as soon as the person whom he considers the core of his being moves away from him slightly...
This was the same reason why Ishwari always tried to disconnect herself emotionally from Dev, whenever she tried to manipulate him during the first season and this is once again happening now, when the late-night incident to Sona and the revelation of Vicky's deed triggered..
But now, after watching the precap, it is my hope that Ishwari has realised where she has went wrong and could either guide Dev or inform Sona about the same, so that she can realise the absolute gravity of the situation.
Similarly, Bijoy has always desired and wanted a child who was a high achiever... He has always and desired respect from the society... And, hence, he always sought external validation from everyone around him...
His sense of false pride and importance prevented him from appreciating Saurabh's efforts, even it ended up in failure... This created a belief in Sona that the society or people appreciate or welcome only those who have achieved something in their lives..
Hence, this is where her need for external validation and her need to constantly prove herself stems from... This is why she considers her own qualities and traits insignificant and hence, calculates her worth through her professional achievements...
According to her, if someone loves you deeply, then there must be a reason for it... And, since she knows that both Dev and Soha loves and adores her with all of their heart, then she must do something which which could make her worthy of their infinite love...
Another thing which makes me inquisitive is the Boses' involvement during the 9 months during her pregnancy because the way, both Bijoy and especially, Saurabh were acting.. It was like they have never dealt with any pregnant woman earlier...
I don't something about Sona's actual pregnancy really throws me off... This family who was literally forcing Ronita to drink gallons of water or was hovering over her like a bunch of bees, was nowhere to be seen near Sona during any of the flashbacks...
Sonakshi also sounds vague when it comes to the contributions of her family during her pregnancy... Then, Saurabh's complete absence from any kind of work related to Sona's company, even though, he is supposedly Sonakshi's partner doesn't really give me good vibes...
Probably, I am overthinking it... And, while I am at it, can I tell everyone that I am liking Saurabh's character less and less, with each passing day...
In my opinion, it will be the revelation of Soha's cheating which will break this spell for Sonakshi as she will realise that her daughter needs her more, than she actually thought... And, while I don't think that she will not quit her work, but she will definitely reduce her workload and then, we might Saurabh finally doing some work.. But, I am still doubtful about it...
But, let's see what happens in the coming week...
-Suyash.
P.S: Frankly, I really didn't like exposing so much of my life to all of you... But, when I ended up writing it, I felt so relieved...
At the same time, I also wished all of you to get a glimpse from where which angle I watch this show and how I connect with it...
Like I said, many aspects of my life mirror the lives and the subsequent decisions of Dev & Sonakshi... And, this really makes them more relatable as well as their relationship so fascinating to me...
P.P.S: Yesterday, I did post the same on the previous week's thread, but then, I deleted it... I am not exactly comfortable sharing my past with others...
Funny thing is, I realised that I was acting like a hypocrite..
While I was endorsing Dev and Sona to have a heart-to-heart talk with each about their painful past, I did not had the courage to do the same...
Sharing past is a difficult thing.. Not because, the past is a terrible or a dark secret, but because the part of our past that we guard like a soldier protecting a country, is an integral part of ourselves like our heart...
We all have difficulties in opening our heart to someone else... In fear, what they might do with it.. The same thing also happens with regards to our closely guarded secrets..
Probably, this is the reason why I am reposting my deleted post..
Edited by Harryfan011 - 8 years ago
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