My today's post is about Ishwari. I am just trying to lay out her perspective and pov. It does not mean that I am ok with what she did or doing. The whole of the post is exclusively from Ishwari's perspective.
When I think about Ishwari in reference to previous episodes and her actions and thought process, I feel I see a new side and another layer revealed. Today after watching Ishwari, her words, her body language, my brain started turning. 😆 . When maami was trying to instigate and Ishwari blamed her "karma", it was very revealing. When we usually go to temple or any place of worship, we usually think about our past, thank god for our present circumstances(if it is going good) and hope for a better future. We also repent for our mistakes. That is exactly why Ishwari faulted her "karma" as the reason for all the things that happened.
Ishwari belongs to old school. The way she looks at things is children taking permission, counseling and advice from their parents before making big decisions. What she was believing was Dev would first come and tell her if he liked/likes a girl. Choosing a life partner is a big decision. One that not only affects him, but also the entire family. She being the head of the house wanted her choice, her yes/not to matter for her kids, especially Dev as he was her "perfect" child. This was one of the reasons why she was ok with Natasha. The proposal came to her first. She was given the choice. The "respect" as the head of the family. When he broke up with Natasha it was Dev's responsibility to tell the truth. What he admitted to Natasha is what he should have told Ishwari. Even in Neha Ranveer case, she came to know Neha's decision to marry Ranveer the same time Ranveer came to know her decision. It was not "hidden" from her. She was "included" in their lives.
Dev didn't do this. He went and confessed his feelings to Sonakshi first. And she accepted. Here is where she feels Sonakshi is wrong. From her perspective Sonakshi should have rejected Dev and maintain her dignity. This was shown in the FB where Ishwari is insulted and accused of trying to seduce the man of the house by wearing torn saree. At that time Ishwari brought a new saree for herself at the time when they didn't have enough to eat. In her thoughts she chose her respect over what she could have gotten if she had accepted. I am by no means pointing finger at Sonakshi saying it was wrong of her to love Dev or any such thing. I am just writing Ishwari's thoughts and outlooks.
Ishwari's expectation from Dev was that he would come to her like how Neha came to her and say that he likes Sonakshi, ask her opinion and then leave the details to adults to work it out. But Dev did nothing of the sort. He went directly to Sonakshi bypassing Ishwari and proposed to her, and she accepted. After that for quite some time they hid their relationship from Ishwari.
Ishwari started to get the feeling that there is more than just boss employee relationship between Dev and Sonakshi during Neha's wedding. She was especially hurt by Sonakshi saying that she convinced Neha regarding the lehenga because Dev asked her. Till then she was the go to person for Dev. He would come to her for advice and do as she guided him. Here he told about a family crisis to an "outsider". From her perspective Dev gave importance to an "outsider's" counsel and did not accept her words. Didn't he argue in front of Ishwari as to why Neha should wear the lehenga given by Ranveer's family if she doesn't like it.
This was followed by many other such incidents where he accepted Sonakshi's advice and did as she told her. Like when he ordered food from the restaurant she recommended when the foreign clients come to IN. In such cases her expectation was that Dev would ask her for next steps like instead of saying Sonakshi said you are not feeling well. So we will order food from this restaurant which Sonakshi has recommended. What he should have said was you are not feeling well so from which restaurant should we order the food from. What she wanted was the respect as head of the family. Since Dev was her "good son", it was Sonakshi who was teaching him to be "bad son". This is exactly why she brought out the chula after maamaji confirms that Dev does love Sonakshi. What she was trying to say was she has not retired. She was still strong and in working condition so she was perfectly capable of managing her household and did not need another head of the house.
One of the things I frequently learn from my son is English grammar. When i ask him "can I have a glass of water", he usually corrects me and says that the right grammar is "may I have a glass of water". What he says is I should not ask permission to drink water but just request him to give me a cup of water to drink. Ishwari was expecting Dev to seek her permission before he fell in love irrevocably. What Dev did was come and tells her "we" have chosen each other. Are you ok with that. Here too if Dev had said "I" have chosen, it would have been different. But Dev said it as a mutual decision. Like we have already decided and we are just letting you know. She felt sidelined. At that moment she accepted Sonakshi and said Dev's happiness was her happiness.
The more truth regarding their relationship was revealed, the more she became agitated and discarded. She started to feel that she doesn't have any say as to what goes on in Dev's life, that he would not need her nor would he come back to her or even remember her. With all these thoughts she overdosed on the pills. When Dev broke up with Sonakshi citing the reason as "incompatible", she accepted it because that is what she felt. Hence she did not really want to accept that Dev was breaking down or that all was not well with him.
The way she looked at her sending Ritwick's alliance was her making amends to Dev breaking Sonakshi's heart. When Dev broke her phone, he gifted her a new one. He first asked his mom to give it to her. At that time Sonakshi did not accept it. This is exactly what she tried to do with Ritwick. She put that whole Dev loving her or proposing her and then breaking up with her as a mistake of his and as his mother her duty to make amends. To fix Sonakshi's life and give her happiness that Dev took away from her. If Sonakshi did not accept the phone from Ishwari's hands, she did accept the proposal. It is very similar to helping the girls of that area get married for breaking up that one marriage long ago.
Ishwari doesn't know what Dev did during that break up. What she does know is that Sonakshi personally sent the invitation and asked Dev to come there. When Dev asks permission from Ishwari, both times she advises him against it. Dev then says that Sonakshi has personally invited him and wants him to go. She also doesn't know that maamaji had talked to Dev. The way she looked at it was once again Sonakshi forcing her decision on Dev. That Sonakshi wanted him to come and forced Dev to attend her engagement ceremony by sending the invitation. She blamed Sonakshi for Dev's inebriated condition. The one who did that was not "her son".
Her giving approval for Dev and Sonakshi's marriage is once again about making amends to Dev's mistakes. When she goes to maamaji's room in the morning even before she talks about Dev, maami tells that Sonakshi's engagement is broken. Once maami was out of sight, her first question to maamaji is, is she responsible for that too. That the society is not kind for girls whose engagement gets broken and here Sonakshi's engagement broke because of "her son". Lot of her acceptance of this marriage came from her want to assuage her guilt. Cause it was "her son" who is the responsible for Sonakshi getting hurt. She thinks Dev is not happy because of his guilt of hurting Sonakshi and not that he loves her deeply. She saw it as Sonakshi playing with Dev's guilt, the one she knows and has used in the past. She felt Sonakshi was doing the same. That is how she accepted Bengali wedding and non veg food. Saw it more as atoning for Dev's mistakes. Like mom paying the store keeper money cause her kid broke the glass or spilled the stuff.
Although she had given her "yes", she also wanted to teach Dev that he was wrong, that his decision, his choice was wrong. As a mother don't we want our kids to learn from mistakes, don't we say we should let them make their own mistakes. This is exactly how she saw the marriage. She wanted both Dev and Sonakshi to learn their mistakes. She wanted them to say they were wrong and that she was right. She especially expected Dev to say that. Even with the separation that has happened now, Ishwari doesn't take any responsibility. From her perspective she had given both Dev and Sonakshi the choice to live or break up. She did not do anything other than show them how wrong they were for each other. Aren't mothers supposed to guide the children and show them the right way.
As Sam mentioned in one of the previous posts Ishwari expected Dev to come back to her and say she was right. Not blame her and distance himself. She attributed all this as Sonakshi's doing and as her(Sona) brainwashing him.
Coming back from Vaishno Devi, she wants to trust with what Dev had told her before she left. That Sonakshi means nothing to him except as Suhana's mother and that she has no place of importance in his life. She truly is trying very hard( with her limits) to believe Dev's words. The way she is looking at it now is once again it is not Dev who is trying to bring Sonakshi into his life, but it is Sonakshi herself who is trying to come back to his life. With her seeing Sonakshi check his face, her pushing Dev to come forward to his mother, she deciding to stay for one more week, Ishwari feels that Sonakshi has once again entrapped Dev. For her Sonakshi has been sent by God to punish Dev for what she did with that family. Hence when she prayed to god she asked herself to be punished for her mistakes and spare Dev.
Right now there are 2 main tracks running simultaneously from Ishwari's pov. One is the time when Ishwari overhears Dev and Sonakshi following the puja and starts acting up and the other one is the episodes preceding the one in which Ishwari throws the food given to her by Sonakshi as per her diet chart. Ishwari this time will ask Sonakshi to leave, not indirectly but directly as she did at that time. If at that time Dev should her reports and Dr. Sinhas assessment of her health, this time he will give her the address of the house where those people are living now. He will elucidate Sonakshi's role in making that happen. That will be the first step towards Ishwari's realization.
The above post is my view and not intended to hurt anyone.
😃
Hi Shaavi,
You have brilliantly penned down your thoughts about ishwari.
I really had liked ishwari for the 1st 80-90 episodes and could understand where her insecurities stemmed from. The only part I felt was she getting so worked up and consuming over dose of sleeping pills was too much. Also before that she pretended to be different in front of Dev as if she had accepted sonakshi and with sonakshi she behaved very bitter. But her 1st selfish form was revealed during 1st break up. She stayed in a denial that breakup happened because of her. She knew it but took it to her advantage that it was a good riddance and Dev is so very strong that when he conquered his fate and achieved so much , a girl was very easy to forget and move on for him. She had come to know later that Dev calls sonakshi... she still preferred to live in a denial because that was what she wanted to believe.
Later things got worse wrt manipulations but the worst stroke were prenup and infertility. She cheated her own son on even legal grounds forget moral to get his sign on a legal document. When she realized that sonakshi has only 7% chances of conceiving. She emotionally blackmailed Dev to get sonakshi convinced for the treatment only then can she be back. She forgot the basic empathy of womanhood. She forgot what as a woman sonakshi must be feeling. In time to come sonakshi herself would have opted for the treatment even though it's emotionally draining because every woman who wants a baby and can afford the treatment does go through it if she cannot conceive naturally. But she didn't think as a woman. Her role in life is only that of a mother who thinks she knows the best for her son and only she knows it... that's where everything does wrong.
@everyone in this thread are wonderful writers... it's such a pleasure reading analysis here!
-Meghal
Anupamaa
Cricket
