*Season 2, Week 9* Analysis Thread - Page 32

Originally posted by: _Payalj_

First you could have disagreed without using demeaning linguistic style like why I even respond to views like this. If not fo r the sake of decorum then at least for the sake of the spirit of this thread!

Second I really don't understand why you take every thing personally and try to apply it on yourself? Nowhere did I divide the female population into two.

Please note that what I was talking about was the double standards of the so called hardcore feminists who have totally distorted the meaning and definition of the word feminism and think they are the only well wishers and preservers of female dignity.

I am myself a highly qualified professional working woman employed on a very senior post in a fortune 500 company and a divorcee. Am I not a feminist? I am but I am also fair because I realise that fighting for women rights doesn't mean negating male rights or constantly demeaning them.

I still have my feminine qualities like my maternal feelings and I love to cook and care for my family. And I am not ashamed of it. I am proud of being feminine as my feminine qualities are not my weaknesses but my greatest strengths.

Feminism means equality in every field of life but the definition is constantly misinterpreted to means preferential treatment in every treatment of life.

Heard the famous saying- 'chit bhi mera pat bhi mera angootha mere baap ka' or another version 'chit main jeeta pat tum haare'

If the word feminist is being loosely used as an abuse word today, the responsibility is solely of those women who misuse and exploit it day in and day out.

PS: if you seriously believe in what you said about the real definition of feminism then why react so strongly on an example which simply showed how several people are not following the true spirit and misusing it? Why take it as a personal hit and also start hitting others also on a personal level?

Originally posted by: LiveLife321

@jigsaw, first thing first, cool down dear. Now coming to your reply, let's agree to disagree. If you really want to know the answers for your questions then please visit the previous threads of this thread since this topic was discussed to it's death.

I just mentioned my POV and I haven't forced it to accept it. For me, when a marriage fails then it's not just because of one's mistakes. It fails when you fail to work as a team. If you give me 99 reasons on why I should move on from my relationship then I will hold on to the hope given by the single reason left out.

I am not any abala nari to cry and leave my house if my husband says get out to me. I can pack his bag and throw on his face and push him out of the room and say go and live with out me for a day and then come back, we will sit and discuss the meaning of get out.

For me, their relationship not ended on the day when he said get out or when she said it's over. It ended on the day when she walked out of IN after slapgate. The way I see, these two understood that as well, get out or it's over is just formality to digest that truth that they both are tired of trying.

Originally posted by: _Payalj_

Suppose a guy loves a hot girl. The sort he takes to the night club, chills at night outs with beer, flaunts her in front of his friends. Treats his very delicate very modern girl like his Princess. Then they get married. Next day morning he happily comes to the dining table expecting a sumptuous breakfast but the girl informs him that she doesn't know how to cook.

Next she wears a pair of shorts and wants to go clubbing but he objects as wives don't do such acts . he ultimately divorces her four months later saying she is not good wife material.

Whose fault is this? The feminist brigade will scream shoot this double standards ki dukaan, this asshole. How can he expect her to change in four months. It takes years. What did he dream marriage is - metamorphosis?

Now let's see a reverse case. A girl knows a guy is immature and tied to his mummy's apron strings. There are trunks full of evidences. She can see that he is horrible at balancing or handling relationships. Still she goes ahead and marries him because she loves him.

Four months later she divorces him because he is immature, mamma' s boy and can't handle relationships. The feminist brigade again screams shoot this guy. He should have grown up the day he got married. He was supposed to understand that marriage is a metamorphosis.

Then people say why is the word feminist used like an abuse?

Originally posted by: LiveLife321

Completely agree with you payal. Would like to share some more thoughts here. Everyone will have their own breaking point while handling situations in their life. Seeing his mother on the death bed may be the breaking point for him to give up on his relationship at the same time seeing her family on road may be the breaking point for her. Hearing a get out in front of his family really hurts a wife but i feel a wife holding a husband's collar in front of his family is equally hurting for a man. A husband sleeping in couch after a fight as well as a wife throwing her husband out of her room both are disrespectful towards their spouse. I think we had similar kind of discussion in thread one or two. Life is a circle.😊

Finally, what i was trying to say all the time is, Respect is not women's right, it's human right. Each and every relationship should be treated with respect. Just my pov.

Originally posted by: Drcs

@DQ and Sam. ...I think when you open the next thread Pl make sure the rules by default appear in each page...I'm sure many like me visit this thread for mental peace and creative satisfaction...here everyone agree to disagree and deal with each other with lots of mutual respect which in course of time turns into mutual admiration also...that's the beauty of this thread...I think it's lost today...this is quite unfortunate...

Originally posted by: sia.krpkab

This post is like comparing apples to oranges and over-simplified.

Case 1 - Did the 'Hot girl' promise to the guy that she will be the world's 'best chef'? The priorities were clear from the beginning - you marry a hot girl to satisfy lust, not expecting her to cook. Even if this was the expectation indeed, here the guy changed (by virtue of double standards or unrealistic expectations), not the 'hot gal'. The divorce was inevitable, because the hot gal was wronged by this loser guy.

Case 2 - This guy promised the universe to this girl, setting the girl's expectations and then breaking each and every promise he made. We have all seen the show and the Iron Man 'The Dev Dixit'. The feminist brigade (like myself) feels that Dev has been an amazing boyfriend and deserved another chance after he f***ed up the first time in his emotional imbalance. His mother was his weakness, had blind love towards her which the girl (Sona) completely accepted. But this very same Dev Dixit - did things which he never did before for the girl to know him well-enough - took her for granted, which wasnt the case earlier.

Take insults of self and family, become a mamma's boy, turn blind eye towards her suffering (he bashed GKB earlier before marriage for Sona) but now turn into a complete loser.
Mind you, the girl went ahead to marry for 'love', not for 'insults'. The guy knew what this girl is made up - won't take insults lying down and will give it back to him the way she did before marriage. She is unlike her cousin Elena. Thereby, the feminist brigade is back in action and loves this gal for being who she is without bowing down to this guy.

Marriage is not a form of metamorphosis, it is a survival of constant changes and you CANNOT take each other for granted. Some things are non-negotiable in a relationship, the feminist brigade that you referred to in your post is not just a Dev-basher, it is being abused for standing up for wrong doings. Unfortunately in this show, most of these wrongdoings are attributed to Dev and his family.

Originally posted by: thedramaqueen

Anamika, I am not surprised my post makes little sense. I am struggling to explain this myself.

The first thing we need to tell ourselves was, as far as Dev and Sona were concerned they really didn't care if the jhula was in the room or our of the room, if Bijoy threw them on the roads or not etcetera etcetera.

When Dev said is it bad to be selfish in love and sona said no... that wasn't about being selfish with your partner. It was being selfish to the point of wanting your partner to place you above everyone else and you doing the same. Now here's where things get difficult to comprehend. It might look like Dev used to put Ishwari above sona & Sona used to pit Bijoy above Dev. That's not the point. The point is Dev and Sona were(are) soulmates. When you are connected at that level, what happens with the external world doesn't matter. "I slapped your dad. Help me apologise. Kick me out on the neighbourhood. Don't talk to me for days. But in the end we are one. Please don't tell me you are leaving."

Dev was saying to Sona in season 1 when they had the pills discussion and now when they had the jokes discussion- my life needs special treatment. And he isn't saying it's an entitlement. Watch his face when he talks about the joke. He is begging her. He is saying don't bring your ego into this (and thus those flashbacks) .

Sona wanted a simple life where all she needed was that her husband would do things for her family and she does things for his. Dev had started getting it but as soon as he did through first act, slapgate happened. And we are back to square 1. Dev needed a lot of handholding . A lot of it.