@Shaavi and DQ: As much as I would love to give the writers that much credit, I am not totally conviced that this dialogue was self-aware, or that the term was used with any real consciousness of its evolving meaning. The people who are derisive of feminism seem to be stuck with an image of radical, second-wave feminism -- the kind where women reject anything remotely patriarchal, including men themselves. What a lot of people don't know -- I didn't myself until some important teachers came into my life -- is that that brand of feminism has undergone heavy criticism, and we are well in the throes of third-wave feminism, which is more about inlusiveness and diminishing the negative impact of patriarchy on everyone, not just women.
I agree with you, @Malika, in that I understand what Dev was trying to say; he was questioning Sona's assertion that neither she nor Soha needed him and her implication that a father was of secondary importance to a child. So for him, independence meant lack of dependence (good), but feminism meant refusal to accept assistance (bad). His argument was valid, but his use of the term was not. The problem is that the word "feminist," as Dev used it yesterday, is often used to dismiss women when they try to point out something wrong with our society, and seeing such usage on such a popular platform can reinforce this common and dangerous misuse.
Moreover, it's easy to see the flaws in second-wave feminism today, but without those radical feminists, none of us would have the rights that we do today. I mean, I didn't expect Dev to declaim about the finer points of feminist theory (although that would be like ☺️☺️) but I wish the writers had avoided that word entirely if they werne't prepared to do it justice. It takes away from impressive, inherent feminism of their content.
At this point, you may be surprised to know, I did actually watch the rest of the episode. 😲😆 Here are some observations.
Dev is being made answerable for msitakes he didn't make. That really pisses me off. Soha deserves answers to these questions: why hasn't Dev been in her life? Why hasn't he been there to care about her and worry whether she eats and sleeps and goes to school? Her definition of a father is completely defined by the one father figure she has, Bijoy, and that totally makes sense. BUT the person answerable to these innocent questions is not Dev because he is not the one who made the decision not to be there for his daughter, or the decision that she didn't *need* a father. Still, Dev stepped up and took responsibility for the situation and I was damn proud of his maturity.
At her core, Sona was equally shocked by Soha's questions. It seems like she was under the impression that on the day she chose, she would introduce Dev into Soha's life and Soha would say, "thank you mumma," and Dev would say, "thank you Sona (I was a fool to let you go)," and she would live perfectly ever after. Soha threw her for a toss when she persisted not to take Sona at her word and accept Dev as her papa, and the best Sona could come up with in response was,"because I say so." This made Dev's timely intervention all the more meaningful and me a glimpse into their potential as co-parents. Where Sona falters, Dev takes the fall and Soha gets the answers she needs. Too bad these two have the worst ever timing with communication. The moment Sona was a tiny bit vulnerable, Dev barked at her and *ching* went her armour, locking into place, *swoosh* went her shield, straight into Dev's face, knocking the wind out of him. And Dev was like all ready to dance their familiar dance.
But OMG, that expression on Dev's face when he catches her. He was so genuinely worried about her, and I don't think it was just for the fall. He saw those split second changes in her demeanour, from sweet with Soha, to apologetic when after she left, to defensive and haughty when he shouted at her. His expression was like, "why are you doing this to yourself?" For Dev, living many lives and switching between different attitudes towards different people is old hat. Sona is trying to match him step for step, and for the first time, I think he got a glimpse of the toll it is taking on her. Nobody knows better than Dev that this is not OG Sona. The Sona he remembers was confident and candid, and never felt compelled to pretend she was something else. Now, like @Shaavi said, she has a different mask for each person in her life. That moment of emotional connect between them was like cool water in a never-ending desert for the hopeless romantic in me. ❤️
I love the way they are showing Soha falling in love with Dev. At the outset, she listed all the characteristics she thinks a father should have, based on Bijoy: he should worry about her wellness, be there for her, and even shout at her when need be. Dev is winning her heart for completely different reasons; he's handsome, he's strong, he's confident, and he is incredibly charming and fun. She can't seem to stop thinking about him. It seems to be leading to a situation where Soha doesn't realise she loves Dev because he doesn't have any of the qualities that she recognises as valuable, but he brings something into her life that she didn't have before -- fun for the sake of fun and happiness for the sake of happiness. I can't get over how "Dev" this is! Guys, Bijoy(/Jatin?) is Natasha and Dev is Sona! 🤣
Dev was stupid to try and sneak Soha out in any case, and I am very glad that the child showed so much maturity. It saved everyone a lot of heartache, including yours truly. I only wish he didn't have a point about the Boses; the change in Soha's attitude when it is just her and Dev is unmistakable. Can we revisit that stirring speech about your daughter's honesty, Sona? Golu as always is an oasis of positivity in this tense and volatile situation. He gave his Bigcha the best advice: no fear, and we can see how valid it is. It's Dev's confidence and unbridled expression that is winning Soha over, and there is no reason for Dev to doubt himself. He's got this.
As for Ishwari, I am going to join Dev and say:
Edited by Samanalyse - 8 years ago
Bhabhi Ji Ghar Pe Hain?
Tujhse Hai Raabta
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Seher Hone Ko Hai
