Proposal: KRKPAB Weekly Analysis Thread - Page 20

Originally posted by: srilotus

How can they show us what's going on between that bitch and Dev...hum log iss serial ko murder mistery nahi bana denge😆

First of all, weighing in on the discussion about Dev's promiscuity. To be honest, I would rather him actually have sex with this woman than just use her to make Sona jealous. Then, he is being honest with the woman as well as Sona, instead of using both of them for some convoluted exercise in revenge. He is a 35-year old, single man, and in my books, as long as there is consent from both adult parties, Dev isn't doing anything wrong by pursuing these short term relationships.

Of course, that seems to beg the question, would it be okay if Sona did the same? For me personally, a resounding YES. In fact, it has bothered me from the beginning that her physical desires have been so little acknowledged. But I also understand that that is the reality of Indian TV, and TV shows and channels are businesses after all. They have to make their money and cater to their audience. In that capacity, I don't expect the show to be ideologically flawless, but rather, use it as a medium to learn where, how, and why the views of the majority in the society I live in diverge from my own personal beliefs.

For me, honesty is paramount, and I would much quicker sympathise with an honestly promiscuous Dev than a conniving, abstinent one. I understand that for some of you, the act of sex without love or marriage is the unpardonable part... and that is where the discussion has gotten really interesting. It makes us confront people with different views, and possibly question our own. The show can only achieve this effect if it is provocative in its content.

The second set of thoughts I had was about Dev and Sona's confrontation, and the theme that tied it to their past: Sona never saw herself the way Dev saw her. When Dev looked at Sona, since early in their friendship, he saw an emotionally strong, independent, and beautiful woman, inside out. He always saw her as an equal, if not someone who was superior and better-equipped to handle difficult situations. But Sona, instead of seeing herself through Dev's eyes, constantly chose Ishwari as her lens. She felt the need to prove herself time and again because of the kind of insults that GKB (as Ishwari's mouthpiece) threw at her: that she was somehow inferior to Dev, and unworthy of his love.

Looking back, I wonder if she was trying so hard to be the perfect bahu to compensate for the economic difference between the two families, as in, "I am poorer than you economically, but richer in family values and understanding relationships so it evens out." Is that why kept insisting on waving her magic, relationship wand over situations that were out of her depth? Maybe that is why she never stood up to GKB's insults, because somewhere deep down she thought that it was valid for the Dixits to believe those things and instead of shutting them up, wanted to prove them wrong?

Dev explained to her that he invested in her company because he saw it as a good business decision. If she really believed in herself and her company, she wouldn't have felt the need to return the money because it was honourably earned. Instead, she chose to see the situation through Ishwari's eyes: Dev had given her and Saurabh the money out of some charitable sentiment because he felt obligated to help them as family. She then began to see it as Dev articulating their economic difference, and putting her family at a disadvantage to assert his own superiority. Dev was doing no such thing, which is probably why he didn't want anyone to know in the first place. So Sona put her family's house and all their financial assets on the line to make a point to Dev that he was never refuting... that their families were equal.

Yesterday in the award function, she repeated that same set of actions, based on the same belief; that Dev had the advantage before because he was rich. Now that she was also a rich, super-successful business woman, she thought that they were on an even playing field and she could show him up by demonstrating how much she had done without his help, and despite his hindrance. It backfired because Dev was never trying to put her down by giving her money, and he never doubted her potential. The difference was that he wasn't trying to convince her of his sincerity anymore. Instead, he called her out on not highlighting her own achievements, and her over-emphasis on the opinions of others, and he made her passive aggression ineffectual when he took her words completely at face value.

Only when Sona understands precisely what she meant to Dev will she crack his incredibly thick skin. She was one of the only two people to whom he exposed his emotional core, and he didn't do it because she was as smart as him, or as successful as him... he did it because she gave him a chance to be himself.

Originally posted by: gemini54

Hey Sam and all here I have a question

The Tag Line of this show ( original) was what do we lose or gain when we decide matters of the hearts with our head or something along those lines ...

Your thoughts

In this new phase are they using their head whereas they used their hearts previously?

If so what did they lose by using the heart and what will they gain by using the head

Not sure whether the Tag Libe is valid now ..but was just curious

Originally posted by: Samanalyse

I don't think there is a clear demarcation between S1 and S2, where one is defined by the heart and the other by the head. As evidenced by the discussion between you and Shaavi, it is even debateable which actions are from the heart and which are from the head, and I think this tag line is applicable each time a character makes a decision on the show.

According to me, the primary difference between the two is that "dil ke phaisle" are in pursuit of happiness, and "dimag ke phaisle" are in avoidance of suffering. So each time a character makes a decision, that is what I ask myself. What are the motivations of their decision? Is it an active or an evasive action? When Dev confessed his love, for example, he was seeking happiness, but when he hemmed and hawed about telling Ishwari, he was avoiding the unpleasant possibilities. Bijoy and Asha are like Sona's dimag and dil... Bijoy always advises her to avoid the things that make her unhappy, while Asha encourages her to pursue the things that give her joy. This is why Asha was pro-Dev while Bijoy was against. Instead of thinking of Dev's happiness, Ishwari thought only of avoiding the rest of the family's suffering, and she ultimately payed the price.

Until the very end of S1, Sona and Dev never got a chance to pursue their mutual happiness because they were always too busy fighting fires and avoiding conflict. They never got time (with few exceptions) to think with their hearts, largely thanks to their respective parents, who, everytime one of them tried to listen to their hearts and go after their happiness, would create a huge pile of agony that needed to be taken care of. So I think the show is trying to say that if you take decisions from the heart, there is a higher risk involved, but if you take decisions only from your head, you may avoid unhappiness but also never reach the heights of happiness that come from following your heart.

I know it's not a direct answer to your question, but I hope that made some sense. 😊

I wanted to watch Mr Dixit's rendezvous in the hotel before commenting however, I then decided to reply before its aired because I wanted to canvas fellow members' views without them being affected by the story.

Sex without love happens... It happens all the time and we all have our own moral calibrator telling us where to draw the line.

For some of us a man or a woman holding another gender's hands is equivalent to being disloyal to your past or future love interest. For some of us just fantasizing about someone in a sexual manner is unfaithfulness too.

Coming to Dev, 7 years ago, his wife threw her mangalsutra in the fire, told him they are over and they split. I don't know if they signed divorce papers or not. The fact however remains, they potentially still remain in love but aren't really in touch with each other or making any promises to each other. They don't owe' anything to each other. They are not together. When they first met he was 28 and she was 26. We want to see reality on the show. Many urban single adults have sex with or without strings attached. They have one night stands, casual sex, live in relationships - all of which is still in the 'exploratory stage' and there is no commitment from either side. Did it matter to Dev and sona when they first met if they have had sex with someone before they committed? Why should it matter now?

I don't even want to bring extra-marital sex into this discussion yet. However, let's not judge Dev or Sona if they decided to have sex like any healthy sensible adult would. Whether they fell in love with someone over this 7 year period or not, how does that matter? If and when they get together its important they are in love at that point in time.

Don't people have multiple partners over their 80 year life span? Does that always make them insincere to their previous partners? Sometimes the wife or husband dies, and people still love them but get together with someone else.

Is he using girls to make Sona jealous - I don't know. But if the girls know their place in his life and vice versa my moral calibrator tells me if okay. Someone else's might say it's not. A lot of what we are processing also depends on our own experiences in life.

I apologise if this is distressing to anyone reading. It's not meant to be. I actually want to have a discussion partially outside of the show

Originally posted by: thedramaqueen

I wanted to watch Mr Dixit's rendezvous in the hotel before commenting however, I then decided to reply before its aired because I wanted to canvas fellow members' views without them being affected by the story.

Sex without love happens... It happens all the time and we all have our own moral calibrator telling us where to draw the line.

For some of us a man or a woman holding another gender's hands is equivalent to being disloyal to your past or future love interest. For some of us just fantasizing about someone in a sexual manner is unfaithfulness too.

Coming to Dev, 7 years ago, his wife threw her mangalsutra in the fire, told him they are over and they split. I don't know if they signed divorce papers or not. The fact however remains, they potentially still remain in love but aren't really in touch with each other or making any promises to each other. They don't owe' anything to each other. They are not together. When they first met he was 28 and she was 26. We want to see reality on the show. Many urban single adults have sex with or without strings attached. They have one night stands, casual sex, live in relationships - all of which is still in the 'exploratory stage' and there is no commitment from either side. Did it matter to Dev and sona when they first met if they have had sex with someone before they committed? Why should it matter now?

I don't even want to bring extra-marital sex into this discussion yet. However, let's not judge Dev or Sona if they decided to have sex like any healthy sensible adult would. Whether they fell in love with someone over this 7 year period or not, how does that matter? If and when they get together its important they are in love at that point in time.

Don't people have multiple partners over their 80 year life span? Does that always make them insincere to their previous partners? Sometimes the wife or husband dies, and people still love them but get together with someone else.

Is he using girls to make Sona jealous - I don't know. But if the girls know their place in his life and vice versa my moral calibrator tells me if okay. Someone else's might say it's not. A lot of what we are processing also depends on our own experiences in life.

I apologise if this is distressing to anyone reading. It's not meant to be. I actually want to have a discussion partially outside of the show

Great discussions going on here , sorry I didn't get time to read all the comments , but regarding Dev's flings with other girls I have to say I don't find it odd . In most of the shows /movies I watch it's a cliche to show guys move on to booze /girls or his friends trying to cheer them up by taking into a strip club, after the break-up . Honestly I never got the point !!! But may be it works for guys !!! Now coming to Dev , ofcourse old Dev never would have done that ,which is exactly why he freaked out after the first break up when he found out about Rithwik because in his mind they were always together , but the Dev we have seen so far is obviously different . Sona's words - a weak person like him deserved to be alone and is not worthy of love - he may be trying to prove it otherwise , or maybe he is trying to fill the void Sona left with these flings without any emotional attachment . So if that is his lifestyle now let him be , I don't want Dev to do this only to make her jealous . Whatever be the case I'm sure it would throw her off . Sona would certainly be intrigued, in her mind he may be a lot of things but never a womanizer. And in my opinion it would make her anything but jealous.