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Tia.0 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#81
Precisely. The fact that most women give their everything to their marriage also makes people take them for granted. I always say you give some, but make sure you receive some as well. If not exactly 50% of what you gave, at least 48%. It all comes down to balance. A balanced relationship always have equal flow of consideration from both sides. When that flow only comes from one side, them it becomes an uneven and unequal relationship which can't survive in the long run. Relationship is a two-way street, not a one way boulevard.

Originally posted by: _Payalj_

We women have the infinite capacity to love and forgive. That is why God gave us the capacity to give birth and not men. If any man had to go through the painful process of giving birth even once, the human species would have become extinct long ago.

This love and patience of a woman makes her go on and give her family and children love and hope in the worst of circumstances. She never gives up.

And this is the quality which at times is exploited by people as in this case. What hurt me the most yesterday was the confidence Dev had yesterday that his marriage had not broken. Remember when he is drinking with vicky and says yahan maa ki tabiyat kharaab hai aur wahan,!!

He was speaking as if Sona is still a part of his life when vicky interrupted!

Tia.0 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#82
Good question.

Ideally, in general cases, I'd say a child needs both mother and father to grow up as a balanced person. If I personally have to choose to be a single mother or a part of a parenting unit raising a child together, of course I or for that matter any rational person will pick the later because the former is harder than later.

But the circumstances are not always favourable for everyone to raise a child as part of a parental unit.

If I have to choose between raising a child in a household where my husband or his family is insulting/disrespectful/abusive/petty/controlling etc. and being a single parent, I'd chose to be a single parent. Because the last thing I as a parent would allow to happen is for my son to learn that he can treat people like his father and his family because he is a man and my daughter to learn that she deserves to be treated like that because she is a woman.

There are many people who stay in a relationship that does not suit them because they claim it's for the kids. I think that's a cop out. A child is much happier when their parents live in two separate homes but raising him/her without constantly fighting/demeaning each other than when their parents are at each other's loggerheads under one roof. The later does not make a peaceful, safe and decent environment to raise a healthy child.

Bottom line, while it varies from case to case, I believe that if two people can make a decent, respectful marriage for their children, that's ideal. But if that's not possible, for whatever reason, then you are better off raising your children on your own.

Because what you do, how you behave, what you tolerate - these all makes an impact on your children regarding what they will do, how they will behave, what they will tolerate in future.

For me, the simple parameter is, if I imagine my son or daughter in the same situation as I am and hope that they get my life, then I am in a happy home. And if I never in a million years wish they have the life I am living, then it's an unsuitable home and I should leave pronto.

In my opinion, the best place to raise a child is in a safe, respectful, peaceful and stress-free secure environment. Whether one person creates it, two people create it together or a whole village create the environment is immaterial to the overall well-being of the child in the long-run.

Originally posted by: VIMAL.M

Growing without dad is also not good environment.[I read this comment in another post]

Tia.I want to know ur view on this.Do share in that post or here.Because U have been raised by a Single Mom.So you will have more in depth view on this matter.

Edited by tia.o - 8 years ago
VIMAL.SM thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#83
@Tia - Thanks for the reply.A good environment n a respectful marriage is imp to a raise a children.

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