Good question.
Ideally, in general cases, I'd say a child needs both mother and father to grow up as a balanced person. If I personally have to choose to be a single mother or a part of a parenting unit raising a child together, of course I or for that matter any rational person will pick the later because the former is harder than later.
But the circumstances are not always favourable for everyone to raise a child as part of a parental unit.
If I have to choose between raising a child in a household where my husband or his family is insulting/disrespectful/abusive/petty/controlling etc. and being a single parent, I'd chose to be a single parent. Because the last thing I as a parent would allow to happen is for my son to learn that he can treat people like his father and his family because he is a man and my daughter to learn that she deserves to be treated like that because she is a woman.
There are many people who stay in a relationship that does not suit them because they claim it's for the kids. I think that's a cop out. A child is much happier when their parents live in two separate homes but raising him/her without constantly fighting/demeaning each other than when their parents are at each other's loggerheads under one roof. The later does not make a peaceful, safe and decent environment to raise a healthy child.
Bottom line, while it varies from case to case, I believe that if two people can make a decent, respectful marriage for their children, that's ideal. But if that's not possible, for whatever reason, then you are better off raising your children on your own.
Because what you do, how you behave, what you tolerate - these all makes an impact on your children regarding what they will do, how they will behave, what they will tolerate in future.
For me, the simple parameter is, if I imagine my son or daughter in the same situation as I am and hope that they get my life, then I am in a happy home. And if I never in a million years wish they have the life I am living, then it's an unsuitable home and I should leave pronto.
In my opinion, the best place to raise a child is in a safe, respectful, peaceful and stress-free secure environment. Whether one person creates it, two people create it together or a whole village create the environment is immaterial to the overall well-being of the child in the long-run.
Originally posted by: VIMAL.M
Growing without dad is also not good environment.[I read this comment in another post]
Tia.I want to know ur view on this.Do share in that post or here.Because U have been raised by a Single Mom.So you will have more in depth view on this matter.
Edited by tia.o - 8 years ago