Ok i think you can never understand what i am trying to say.. May be i am not saying it right...
For me the situatiOns are very similar may be 19-20 ka farak... But they r all comparable...
You say sona didnt have a choice and she assumed dev will say yes and she took the decision.. She talked to dev that night and also the morning - she couldnt find a moment to explain it to dev what happened.. Tell how she didnt have a choice as she got to know later...but she did chose to say "mein apne decisions koyi button dabake nahi leti" that was very rude that meant dev is nothing to her . She could have said i didnt have a choice and explained it to him but you cant deny that she gave a rude reply when dev asked she didnt feel it was a decision both should make.. For me no matter what you say and how you explain it was sonas fault - first she took unilateral decision for what ever reasons and then she treated dev like nothing when he questioned her twice.. Is this what she thinks.. But dev still apologized that day..
Now all dev is thibking is if sona can take independent decision so can he .. For what ever reasons and what ever the situation is...and also sona can clearly see that dev was forced to do somethibg against his will and he is very hurt . He needs sonas support not questionibg at this point.. I am not saying his expectations are correct.. But i am sure that is what he is thibkibg and why he bahaved the way he did today...
He is the one more hurt and he is the one whonis not getting any love and care from his wife. All wife is worried about is making right decisions.. So he is behaving like one hurt kid who doesnt have anyone who will love him unconditionally and not judge him.
So he is expecting sona to talk to him with a different approach rather than in a blaming tone.. He is not looking for her to apologize...he just wants her to show that she cares and she supports him even if she doesnt approve what he did..
Everyones life is different relationships are not all about 50-50 .. Yes chores can be split 50-50 . Some times even if i am at fault and i have said mean thibgs just becuase i was more hurt (mostly becuase family was the reason for the fight) in a certain situation i would expect my husband to take the first initiative to resolve the fight and vice versa
in other cases who ever is at fault initiates the comversation and apolozizes.
Anywyas lets just agree to disagree..