Ideal Husband!!! EDITED: NOTE ON PAGE 15 - Page 7

Originally posted by: tia.o

<font size="3" color="#003366">Here's the thing dlavanya, any of these problem won't arise if the gender was reversed. So pardon me for pointing out the most obvious reason here.</font>

<font size="3" color="#003366">If Dev was a woman and Sona a man,</font>

<font size="3" color="#003366">1. Ishwari won't have caused their break up. She didn't want to break up Neha and Ranveer.</font>

<font size="3" color="#003366">2. No one would dare walk up to a groom at his wedding and insult him.</font>

<font size="3" color="#003366">3. Men never live with their in-laws after marriage. So everything that happened since the wedding, all insults and humiliation that Sona went through won't have happened if she was a man. Regardless how much sacrifice a woman's family makes, no woman ever lives with their family after marriage, whether they are nice or grade a abusive.</font>

<font size="3" color="#003366">Now please enlighten me, how is this not a gender issue?</font>

<font size="3" color="#003366">Tell me how, in your opinion, Sona would go through the same if she was a man.</font>

<font size="3" color="#003366">And if you agree that she won't face any of the issues if the gender was reversed, then it is an issue of gender inequality and how a women are perceived in the society.</font>

<font size="3" color="#003366">Every response Shaheer and Supriyaji got were from women. No men ever said that they had gone through mother-in-law's torture or insult. Now explain it to me how this is not a gender problem. Iam all ears.</font>

Originally posted by: dlavanya

Tia i agree the rest of the characters in the show are gender biased .. My post was specific to the current episode and current devakshi fight - gender is not the issue here.
Dev might be many things but i am certain of one thing he is not - he doesnt think he is better than sona in any way. He gives her equal status.

Yes gkb taunts sona before dev and he doesnt say anything - this is not beacuse sona is a girl ... That is only because everyone now understands that gkb is gutter and more stones you throw in it more dirty your own clothes will get..she is ine of the person who should just be ignore... Lets not forget that gkb taunts dev too.. Besides most of the real sona taunting happen when dev is not around. We have seen bijoy taunting dev too and sona didnt come to defend him. The taunt about fast was not required but bijoy had his reasons for not liking dev and feels like taunting him... Good or bad gkb has her reasons for not liking sona and she taunts her too for not fault of sonas.. Lets not forget that gkb taunts ranveer too... So gender is not applicable here.. It is the money that mattrrs to her..It is their characters..

But the point i am trying to make is, dev treats himself and sona as equals... And most certainly gender doesnt come into picture here

Originally posted by: gemini54

I decided to post today and here because I think in this thread my views will be heard without judging.

Disclaimer I am not watching the show .

I just miss my online friends and come and visit this thread.

Since if I talk always against Dev I am branded as feminist and negative let me pose some questions with no regard to gender or take Sona or Dev side

Background

1. Sona fell in love with Dev ..in my opinion now she fell in love with the idea of love and does not have a clue of what love is..again just my opinion. - Agreed. I think so too.
2. People say she fell in love with Dev because he loved his family, he was close to his mother and respected her and of course because he is good looking.
3. Let us assume she fell in love with Dev for all these reasons.
4. Dev fell in love with Sona he was clueless all along but suddenly realized he was in love so he breaks his engagement with Natasha and rushes and proposes to Sona
5. He said I love you as a Man loves a Woman..I swooned at these lines and even cribbed to my husband how come he was not this romantic😆 - I was impressed as well. But trust me we are lucky to have our husband who are far better than Dev Dixit.
6. Then in a fit of I don't know what Dev breaks up with Sona..a decision he made callously in my opinion but say he did it in a spur of moment because he is emotional ..I am going to maybe grant him that one than he realizes he cannot live without her
7. So does he like a Man he claimed to be try to win her back by convincing Sona ...No his mother wins Sona back for him..so proving he is not Man yet - PRECISELY!!! Not to mention his dog in the manger attitude. While Ritwik was around, you could not get rid of him. The moment Ritwik was out of the picture, he was no where around.
8. Sona of course knew about Easwari not liking her but as soon as Easwari comes begging she runs back to Dev...my question however in love you are wouldn't you atleast want your man to win you back?..isn't that what even fairy tales that she believed are made of? - I think she thought Ishwari was the only problem. But the problem was never Ishwari, it was Dev all along and his tendency to take all decisions on his own assuming he knows best.
9. Sona makes a decision which was destined to bite her and is - Yep. I mentioned that as well.
10. Dev makes lofty promises again to her as a Man but does not fulfill any till date. - He is just like Ishwari in that manner. They give glorious speech but when it comes to keeping their words, they do exactly the opposite.
11. Sona in the meantime is not the Sona we know and has morphed into someone we don't recognize . - I can't even recognize her anymore...

Now for the questions

So here we have a Woman we are asking to stand up for herself and a Man to stand up for himself and his wife who he claims to love

So Some of us are asking why cannot Sona stand up?,

why cannot Dev stand up for her?..I am not even talking about standing up against Easwari here.

Why cannot Dev ever keep any of his promises?.

Why can't Sona question him on that? Or the way she is being treated?.

Where is the communication between two people so in Love?

When we ask these questions we are feminist or negative I don't understand where does feminism come into play here or negativity ..isn't it normal for two people so in love and married to communicate ? Support each other, want to be for each other thru thick and thin and be as a single unit? How does Gender bias come into play her ? - Expecting a wife to be treated with same respect as her husband is being a feminist. Because it is about equal rights and respect in a relationship which is the definition of partnership. But there are are people who call feminists as being negative because they do break the illusion of life that most people would rather not face. To each it's own. If someone wants to bury their head in the sand, that's their prerogative. But often people who can't speak with valid reason choose to call any demand for equal rights as being negative. Although given a choice between a man and family like Bijoy with Dev's face and a man and family like Dev with Vicky's face, we all know who they will choose. The factor here is looks and money.

Here I am not even talking about Easwari in the equation...sorry this whole thing where some of us who pose the above questions being branded feminist or negative is beyond my comprehension - Ishwari and Dev's family can only go as far as Dev allow. If he makes a stand that the way they treat Sona reflects on the way they treat him and join his respect, honour and dignity with his wife instead of making her stand alone with her respect in tatters while basking in his mother's approval, then his family would never dare to insult Dona for fear of insulting him.

Tia sorry for waylaying your post yet again - Feel free to drop in anytime. Happy to hear your thoughts.

Originally posted by: mena_k

What a lovely post.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading all the comments.

Just one thing to say "All that is happening is Sona's fault", no one forced her for it so I don't even blame Dev for he is just the same as before. It was her choice to marry Dev. He was not even interested in pursuing Sona any further after she said not interested post-break up with ritwick. Sona was literally dying to get married to Dev, kept repeating the same even during breakup. Yes, Dev stalked her, but never once did he say he wants to marry her, did he, No. If she didn't respect herself well enough even after breakup n went running after Dev on the first chance she got, this was bound to happen n didn't we all predicted this exact same thing.

What a tragedy though, a good show turned into crap.

BTW wasn't Sona supposed to rejoin her work, when is that gonna happen

Originally posted by: tia.o

<font color="#3333ff" size="3">Fine. Let's talk about current episode. Dev and Sona didn't fight about whether Sona wants to spend time with him or not. They fought about Dev convincing her that she is his family and she deserves equal say in his life and then undermine her in front of his family and take a decision without even bothering to inform her (this is not the first time he did it) let alone discuss with her.</font>

<font color="#3333ff" size="3">Then he expects for her to call him after he majorly undermines her position in his family and claims that her ego is bigger than her height when it's him who should be apologizing.</font>

<font color="#3333ff" size="3">Pardon me, but after injuring a woman's self-respect and then calling her anger and hurt, her ego; what would you call it?</font>

<font color="#3333ff" size="3">I call it arrogance and self-importance as if his issues are bigger than hers where he is sitting in his comfort zone while his family shower adoration on him.</font>

<font color="#3333ff" size="3">So if I retract my gender card so to speak, that makes Dev an insensitive, spoiled and rude man who should keep his issues to himself and stay single or move away from his family so that his wife can have a home where she and her marriage are not undermined every day.</font>

<font color="#3333ff" size="3">Secondly, Bijoy asked a couple of valid question sarcastically at Dev. However he speaks in same tone to his own son. So here he is treating his son-in-law in the same standard as his son even though Dev has never proved himself to be trustworthy. If he had continued to insult Dev even after his response and Sons kept quiet, then your point would have been valid. But a. He accepted Dev's answer and didn't ask anything else nor insulted him further and b. Dev doesn't have to live with him under the same roof playing his privileged gender card.</font>

<font color="#3333ff" size="3">That doesn't come even close to Ishwari, Dadi Bua and Radha's taunts. Granted some of them happened behind Dev's back, but a lot happened in front of him. He can put up with as much insult as he wants. That doesn't give him right to subject his wife to it.</font>

<font color="#3333ff" size="3">And it was not a just sarcastic question. But name calling in insulting tone. But look how nicely Dev rewarded her for that insult to his wife. He grovelled in front of Vicky. But he can't even say sorry to his wife for demeaning her.</font>

<font color="#3333ff" size="3">I don't know what is your standard of respect, but someone who insults a man's wife and gets rewarded is not my standard for respect.</font>

<font color="#3333ff" size="3">Let's not pull gender card here. There are many great husbands who respect their wife and never break their promises. Dev is NOT one of them so let's just call Dev a failure as a husband... Fair enough?</font>