Weekend Musings: A Matter of Principles

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TBDRESS

@TBDRESS

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#41

Originally posted by: soapbubble

Walden, a lot of what you say strikes a chord with me. I appreciate your stance at the very beginning - yes life is not black and white - every situation needs to be handled the way it unfolds.

I too feel that there are not good enough reasons for Saachi to have given in like this.

Again, without judging her for it, I agree that Saachi is not doing the best thing for the situation - she is doing the thing that makes her feel good, lets her sleep at nights...
To pychoanalyse her a bit, I don't think she wants to be unpopular with Prachi. When Prachi said those things about Papa, Papa's dream, you are not Papa, and if Papa had been alive... two minutes of ratiocination would have destroyed that line of thinking.
Either Saachi is Papa or she isn't - if she is, take what she decides. If she isn't, she isn't obliged to bend backwards to accommodate you, she's only your sister, trying to do the best she can.

Saachi's desire to please Prachi is, at the core, selfish. And I feel she has allowed herself to become like that - overburdened by responsibility at a young age, she constantly needs to know she's doing ok. Prachi doesn't answer the door, doesn't know how to cook, doesn't seem to pull her weight at all... I have never seen ANY household with five reasonably able people where a working person returns from a full day of work, walks in the door and rushes off to make tea for everyone else, most of whom have been hanging around in the house!

Bubble

Bubble, your analysis of Saach is spot on! This lady is very very insecure and like you said, this sense of insecurity is only heightened when her siblings or any family member is not "happy" with her.

@bold- 🤣🤣 I don't get this either- the 2 perfectly healthy grannies can't even take responsiblity for their own medications, much less cook lunch and dinner! And I can't help but partly blame Saachi for this- being a good daughter/sister/pseudoparent does not mean you can't delegate responsibility and make other people indepedent. Basically this is the problem with all Indian shows- the heroine cannot be great unless she and only she (or sometimes the hero too i guess) does EVERYTHING under the sun. How dumb!

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Heema22

@Heema22

Sparkler

Posted: 12 years ago

#42

Originally posted by: --Evon--

I understand that what Sachi did by accepting all the demands is not something to commend (unlike what DV thinks) and I don't deny that she's at fault. BUT just because Prachi is inherently immature doesn't make her free of all the blame. In my opinion, she'll always be the one responsible for this mess. For her age, she is insensitive and selfish .. being in love is no excuse. Just because we expect Sachi to be the principled girl doesn't mean her decision is more to blame than Prachi's stubborn insistence that is screwing up everyone's lives.

Now, of course, Sachi deserves some blame as well. But I can at least understand her decision to some extent. There was one time where she says may be it's not dowry but the tradition of the rich people and how weddings happen in those households. Then the situation becomes, your sister who insists on marrying no one else but Sunil who claims to love her and you are refusing because of money...

I hoped she would stand up against it but her bending to their will shows her weakness for her siblings. No one is perfect. Because she is our lead we expect her to raise her voice against it, but she did what she can in the situation. She tried to tell Prachi about how they are different and warn her about Sunil but Prachi is also an adult who can make her own decisions. You can give opinions but not change someone else's mind.

I think if we keep talking about " whom to blame we will never find any solution for the problem . Nobody is perfect, but life is about choices.I have problem with what choice she made .To succeed today, you have to set priorities, decide what you stand for.

I must say writers have done great job with showing Sachis conflict . I have experience some of these conflicts so I understand . But looks at the monologue she is convincing herself and comforting herself to " give. in "if Sachi was are very rich and your sister is insisting then I will fully support her and say " Sachi should give Prachi her Share and let her do what she wants to do with money " let her spend to buy her husband . But Sachi is not rich . She is responsible for herself. Addi . Two aging grand ma and one of them is Diabetic ( which might need lots of care and money in the future ) I am against people borrowing money for lavish weddings. She might loose her farm to Pradeep .she might not be able to pay of the loan . When what happens ? They all will suffer for one decision she is about to make .I am not against borrowing money for education . Health and shelter or for vehicle you need to get to work but for dowry " BIG NO "

Nobody can be perfect unless he admits his faults, but if he has faults how can he be perfect?So no one is perfect . But this is an excuse . We are not talking about anyone being perfect . I like when TV shows lead is imperfect and can't solve every problem because this is reality in my word . I wish I had magic wand but I don't .but every TV serial I have comes across have one . I want Sachi is raised voice gaits Dowry because this is not " her " she is going against her consciousness . She cannot afford this . She is thinking about borrowing money and want to sale her moms jewelry . She is Jeopardizing her and family future .she is doing illegal act that's why I want Sachi to raise voice and not give in . Yes you can take horse to water but you can't make him drink . This phrase is true for Prachi . Any lecture will not work but If I am in Sachis shoes . I will tell Prachi that her and Sunil should borrow money and they should pay it off . Prachi not Sachi should sale her own jewelry And fund her own wedding . This might be good stand for Sachi ! This is my style !!!Sachi is being very tolerant to Prachi. Tolerance is a very dull virtue. It is boring. Unlike love, it has always had a bad press. It is negative. It merely means putting up with people, being able to stand things.

Edited by Heema22 - 12 years ago

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TBDRESS

@TBDRESS

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#43

Originally posted by: ...Jes...

well may i answer plz! 😳 sorry but i love discussions . :D plz don't get offend ! 😊
this is not happening here honestly .. the underlined thing was parents give dowry coz they think there is no other way to get their daughters married .. & this is not happening here .. Sachi herself said to Prachi u wld get many good guys who wld deserve you & wld be ready to accept you .. she doesn't feel there is no other way to get her sis married but her sis herself feels so .. & the answer is NO , the marriage won't happen if Saachi is not able to get the money .. & Saachi knows that very well .. it is necessary for Prachi to know it .. :D

All this discussion on defining dowry made me curious and I looked up the Dowry laws in India. Here is some text verbatim from wikipedia: The parts in red have been added by me. I am no lawyer, but after reading the DP act, what is happening in the show pretty much sounds like dowry to me 😆

Jes, you are misunderstanding my viewpoint about what Saachi should say or do in regards to Prachi. When did I ever state that Saachi should stop this marriage? All I'm saying is that Saachi should NOT give into dowry...that's il. Otherwise, I toh 100% agree with you- Prach is an adult and Saachi did her bit by trying to put some sense in her head- now its up to Prachi to make the decision and she can decide whatever way she likes.

The Dowry Prohibition (DP) Act[edit]

Introduced and taken up by then Indlaw minister Ashoke Kumar Sen, this Act^[2] prohibits the request, payment or acceptance of a dowry, "as consideration for the marriage", where "dowry" is defined as a gift demanded or given as a precondition for a marriage. So if we are all watching the same show, we will recall that Sunil's parents have only agreed to the marriage if their material conditions are met...so that would qualify as a precondition for marriage.Gifts given without a precondition are not considered dowry, and are legal. Asking or giving of dowry can be punished by an imprisonment of up to six months, a fine of up to Rs. 15000 or the amount of dowry (whichever is higher), or imprisonment up to 5 years. It replaced several pieces of anti-dowry legislation that had been enacted by various Indian states.

Section 4 of the said Act states:

4. Penalty for demanding dowry.- If any person demands, directly or indirectly, from the parents or other relatives or guardian of a bride or bridegroom, as the case may be, any dowry, he shall be punishable with imprisonment for a term which shall not be less than six months, but which may extend to two years and with fine which may extend to ten thousand rupees. Provided that the Court may, for an adequate and special reasons to be mentioned in the judgment, impose a sentence of imprisonment for a term of less than six months.^[3]

However, as per section 3 of the Act,^[4] both the giver and the receiver are sought to be punished.

3. Penalty for giving or taking dowry.- [(Note: Section 3 re-numbered as sub-section (1) thereof by Act No.63 of 1984, sec.3) (1)] If any person, after the commencement of this Act, gives or takes or abets the giving or taking of dowry, he shall be punishable with imprisonment for a term which shall not be less than [(Note: Subs. by Act 43 of 1986, Sec.3) five years, and with fine which shall not be less than fifteen thousand rupees or the amount of the value of such dowry, whichever is more.
Provided that the Court may, for a adequate and special reasons to be recorded in the judgment, impose a sentence of imprisonment of a term of less than [(Note: Subs. by Act 43 of 1986, Sec.3) five years.]
(2) [(Note: Ins. by Act 63 of 1984, sec.3) Nothing is sub section (1) shall apply to, or in relation to, -
(a) Presents which are given at the time of a marriage to the bride (without any demand having been made in that behalf).
(b) Presents which are given at the time of a marriage to the bridegroom (without any demand having been made in that behalf).
Provided that such presents are entered in a list maintained in accordance with the rules made under this Act.
Provided further that where such presents are made by or on behalf of the bride or any person related to the bride, such presents are of a customary nature and the value thereof is not excessive having regard to the financial status of the person by whom, or on whose behalf, such presents are given. Again, if we are all watching the same show, we'll all agree that the gifts that are being demanded of Prachi's family are clearly "excessive" when taking Saachi's financial cicumstances into consideration.

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Heema22

@Heema22

Sparkler

Posted: 12 years ago

#44

Originally posted by: soapbubble

Hi bubble I really like your character analysis of Sachis , my responses are in red .

Walden, a lot of what you say strikes a chord with me. Me too.too . I appreciate your stance at the very beginning - yes life is not black and white - every situation needs to be handled the way it unfolds.

Again, without judging her for it, I agree that Saachi is not doing the best thing for the situation - she is doing the thing that makes her feel good, lets her sleep at nights...
To pychoanalyse her a bit, I don't think she wants to be unpopular with Prachi. When Prachi said those things about Papa, Papa's dream, you are not Papa, and if Papa had been alive... two minutes of ratiocination would have destroyed that line of thinking.
Either Saachi is Papa or she isn't - if she is, take what she decides. If she isn't, she isn't obliged to bend backwards to accommodate you, she's only your sister, trying to do the best she can. Sachi not responding to Emotional blackmailing . I wished we had seen this . This would have been very interesting , .I wanted. Sachi to stand up and say " yes I am not your father nor I want to be . I am your sister and doing my best under circumstances . I want to take best decision for you There are two primary choices in life to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them. But I am disappointment that writer took other way out .

Saachi's desire to please Prachi is, at the core, selfish. And I feel she has allowed herself to become like that - overburdened by responsibility at a young age, she constantly needs to know she's doing ok. Prachi doesn't answer the door, doesn't know how to cook, doesn't seem to pull her weight at all... I have never seen ANY household with five reasonably able people where a working person returns from a full day of work, walks in the door and rushes off to make tea for everyone else, most of whom have been hanging around in the house!
Yes , I was thinking about this too. . No responsibility on Prachi's shoulder to keep her feet on the ground . She is very demanding because her tantrums work for her . That's the only way to get what she wants .
I agree with what you and walden and posted . Sachi comes home . She never looks tired . When I come home for work I never look that fresh , she goes in the kitchen and makes tea followed by dinners. She serves dinner and cleans dishes ? Why ? What happened to sharing responsibilities ? Why grandmas not making tea ? They don't even take medication. Sachi needs to spread out her responsibilities ? And Prachi ! She needs someone to kick her behind and expect to help out in the kitchen and household responsibilities.

Edited by Heema22 - 12 years ago

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Weekend Musings: A Matter of Principles - Page 5

The Dowry Prohibition (DP) Act[edit]

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