Weekend Musings: A Matter of Principles - Page 4

Originally posted by: ...Jes...

MY POINT when u r talking abt dowry or related to women's lot in society first is u should have a reality check on urself as a woman .. who much u r concious of .. i can see ppl blaming boys & their side & so on .. but it is the GIRL not even her parents ... who should be concious , here sachi at least showed some guts by saying NO .. but in reality ppl think daughters are a bojh & get them married off .. my question why not demand from the girls to speak up ? then it again comes to the same it is reality & girls are helpless , so when does it end? it is like a circle... everyone has own views & probs .. but for me it is the helpless one who should speak up for her lot .. & here in the show it is just the opposite .. here family is ready to take their girl with them but the girl is not mature enough? plz don't kid with me .. u can't blame others when u r at fault .. Who is sachi to make decision? .. it is prachi who is making the decision straight here !
i never take side of girls in such cases coz mostly they r at fault when u don't have self respect how u expect others would have the mercy to have it for you? just rubbish! .. first stand up & then blame the world!

EXACTLY! THANK YOU! Some ppl here want to blame Saachi simply cuz they dislike the character/actress...but so conveniently Prachi is exonerated from all blame?😕😆...SHE is the one who can CLEARLY see what Sunil's parents are asking...a modern, educated girl...who has enough of a mouth on her to sunaao a dozen things to her elder sister...doesn't say a word when it comes to the kind of things that Sunil's family is asking of her? WHY? She's an ADULT too...SHE is the one that wants this marriage like this...where did SHE stand up and say, Sunil if you want to marry me, it won't be like this...let's do a court marriage...nowhere...instead she has been busy since day one trying to convince Sunil's parents, saying she will adjust, she will just do aish the rest of her life in a big bungalow with a zillion servants...In a nustshell, Prachi is an IDIOT and LIFE is waiting to teach her a lesson...Saachi has done her part in trying to make Prachi understand...the rest is her doom that she is bringing upon herself...Saachi for her part is trying to give her sister a happy wedding...the first wedding in their family...

Originally posted by: AreYaar

Originally posted by: Walden

Thanks for making this topic TM.

I think you always need a healthy balance in life- between principles/people/practicality. Principles are abstractions- I don't think they have to be these extreme unyielding positions which don't allow for any flexibility and don't take into consideration human emotion and cirumstances.

That said, in Saachi's case, I don't see any room for gray...I think the circumstances are black and white and she is clearly standing on the wrong side of the line.

A lot of people here arguing that Saachi is being selfless- I would argue just the opposite- I think she is being very selfish! Because what is the one thing that makes Saachi happy?- that would be her family's happiness. So in this case, by going along with these ridiculous demands to make Prachi happy, she is being very very selfish- selfish for her own peace of mind- so that she can sleep knowing that she has make Prachi happy. The selfless thing to do here would be to oppose Prachi, even if it makes her unahappy! That would be the selfless thing to do...

Originally posted by: Walden

Jes,

Well Prachi is obviously very selfish- I never said otherwise. But let me give an example (some people will say that I'm being extreme and should go to the satyamev jayate forum but I'll go ahead anyway 😆). What if Prachi was an alcoholic and Saachi providing the alcohol? Is Prachi wrong because she abuses alcohol- absolutely. But I would hold Saachi just as much , if not more, responsible for giving Prachi the alcohol- because Saachi knows better, and yet she continues to do the wrong thing.

Regarding the female lead being weak, sure I have no problem with that. But here's the thing...Prach is wrong and she is shown as being wrong on the show. Saach is just as wrong, but she is not being shown this way- instead her wrongs are being passed off in under the garb of "selflessness"...That's my problem. If they show Prachi being apologetic down the line for what she has done, then I hope they do the same for Saachi- then I won't complain. 😆

And I never said that Saachi should lock Prachi up- if anything, Prachi should be allowed to get married if she wants...Saachi should bless them both at their court marriage 😆 I am opposed to Saachi giving into the in-laws demands that their son won't marry Prachi unless condition A, B, and C are met.

well i wld never tell you to stop .. why not? we should also have connection with relativity & reality too & discuss more real things other than OMGing , seriously 😆
okay supplyung drug & marriage both r bit dif .. coz for supplying drug Sachi may be sent jail , on the other hand if she doesn't let prachi marry acc to her will , then she wld have to see consequences .. of course sachi wil regret !!! i m not understanding why u r feeling so? just bcoz she is a lead she is not always right .. like we have seen before when she misbehaved with DV she said sorry to a stranger & now if something happens to her sis .. why won't she regret? in fact she wld take the whole blame on herself , i m sure!
even if you are parent , at one point u need to stop interfering in ur child's life ... now prachi is an adult & she has her right to take decision , either they r wrong or right it is up to her .. & for now sachi has tried her part & finally she has to give up just bcoz prachi wants it .. & sachi doesn't want to force her,she explained to grandmas' that it is prachi's wish & they can't interfere here .. so simple ... well when a mom doesn't sleep a single bit in night just to check on her child when the child is sick , none point out at her , the mother is also at fault here ,she is not teaching her child to be self reliant here ??? so why now ? 😕
even if u r taking drug , ur parent is not to blame & not even the supplier , it is u who to blame .. whole world won't be responsible for ur deeds , it is just simply you :)

Originally posted by: AreYaar

EXACTLY! THANK YOU! Some ppl here want to blame Saachi simply cuz they dislike the character/actress...but so conveniently Prachi is exonerated from all blame?😕😆...SHE is the one who can CLEARLY see what Sunil's parents are asking...a modern, educated girl...who has enough of a mouth on her to sunaao a dozen things to her elder sister...doesn't say a word when it comes to the kind of things that Sunil's family is asking of her? WHY? She's an ADULT too...SHE is the one that wants this marriage like this...where did SHE stand up and say, Sunil if you want to marry me, it won't be like this...let's do a court marriage...nowhere...instead she has been busy since day one trying to convince Sunil's parents, saying she will adjust, she will just do aish the rest of her life in a big bungalow with a zillion servants...In a nustshell, Prachi is an IDIOT and LIFE is waiting to teach her a lesson...Saachi has done her part in trying to make Prachi understand...the rest is her doom that she is bringing upon herself...Saachi for her part is trying to give her sister a happy wedding...the first wedding in their family...

yah i knw 😳 but i LOVE Sangeeta as she is living Saachi 😃
exactly my point too .. there is no angle of women being tortured .. even if it is , the woman herself is choosing that .. now what can even her parent do here? 😆 & not to forget saachi clearly said NO but then Prachi forced her ... & it is easy for ppl to say just say a NO to her & break the marriage which is just like a business deal .. even i agree .. but it is u & me who r saying .. for a parent specially mother .. this is the least thing she wld do coz this wld broke her daughter's heart .. simple thing Saachi is not at balme for Prachi being in favor of marrige .. prachi's life , prachi's choice & she made sachi clear you are not THE parent here so back off & now she is doing what prachi wants .. sachi wld have been at blame if she agreed without objecting .. she objected & rejected too but then it is not her marriage , the one who is getting married wants it .. & it is not legal on sachi's part to stop the marriage !

Originally posted by: pallavi25

Do we really think this greedy family's demands would stop? Nope! Even after the lavish wedding, they will demand more gifts for Pag Phera rasam, then more demands for every post wedding or religious function.

They will tell Prachi to call Sanchi and tell her to send loads of gifts for Diwali, Navratri, Holi, and every festival in the Hindu calendar! I know how these greedy families of grooms operate, have seen it with my own eyes!

And Prachi, instead of having any compassion for her financially strapped sister, her helpless grandmas and still to be educated brother, will call Sanchi and DEMAND those things on behalf of her sasural! She wont care if Sanchi gets bankrupt or has to sell her farm, Prachi only cares for her own happiness!

The point is, when a child demands the most expensive toy in the store, should the parents always buy it for him/her? NO!

Just because Prachi wants to marry Sunil and have the most expensive wedding as demanded by her in-laws, why should Sanchi buy her that wedding? That is bad parenting!

i agree .. but parents wld try to give their child a toy which is in their limits .. & so sachi is doing here .. she is trying to manage til her marriage as prachi is so focused on having Sunil on her side forever & ever .. & first thing sachi said that the guy who is not supporting u now how wil take ur side after marriage ? & in reply prachi was so sure Sunil in the ONLY best guy in the world .. & u can't force an adult more than this .. u may shut the child up but not a person who is educated & self reliant !
EDIT : another point even if Saachi says NO is Prachi wise enough to take it wisely .. she wld surely harm herself & the way she said that she wld take sanyas from happiness , now she wld cry her whole life so on & on ... even if parents try to balance their child's life .. he gets sick at times . he gets cuts , he gets disheartened .. a parent tries to ensure the best thing available for the child ( specially which is wanted by the child ) but still parent can't control a child's life .. child wld do mistakes & get its consequences .. ! & evry time parent shld not stop the child too , there is much need to get to know ur fault & what u have done is not right !

& the credit not lies in parents saying NO for the toy .. credit lies in when the child understated his parent's helplessness & decides to leave the toy & look for a cheap thing ... if the child is able to do so then he is a good child otherwise no point in supporting the child either!

Originally posted by: Walden

Are we both watching the same show? @ underline- isin't that what happened here? The in-laws left the first time around refusing the rishta because Saachi did not give into their demands? Please tell me, will this marriage happen if Saachi does not meet all the monetary/material demands that have been placed? If the answer is yes, then I will back off but if the answer is no, then this is dowry and its degrading to women/girls. And Saachi is the one agreeing to give the dowry!

well may i answer plz! 😳 sorry but i love discussions . :D plz don't get offend ! 😊
this is not happening here honestly .. the underlined thing was parents give dowry coz they think there is no other way to get their daughters married .. & this is not happening here .. Sachi herself said to Prachi u wld get many good guys who wld deserve you & wld be ready to accept you .. she doesn't feel there is no other way to get her sis married but her sis herself feels so .. & the answer is NO , the marriage won't happen if Saachi is not able to get the money .. & Saachi knows that very well .. it is necessary for Prachi to know it .. :D

well i have another point here if anyone wants to reply me 😳😆
here everyone is so adamant that Saachi should stop her & make Prachi understand .. but does parent teach us everything in the world? don't we have sense which actually work well than any other creation ! 😆 well okay Saachi never taught Prachi that go & date a worthless guy .. but Prachi did ... so tell me how come parent is always responsible for everything .. parent are doing us a favor , u may agree or not .. it is not their responsibility .. they do more than that , & we take advantage of it & in return casuing them more trouble ! for me u shld have the worth , unless no point in blaming the whole world !

i m really sorry to spam in this thread .. but something happened that made me log in again! 😆 well it is one of the greatest coincident 😳

okay so i was watching an epi of Crime patrol .. there comes a case which is most relevant with this topic ! in the case .. it was about a college going girl .. she is having an affair with a guy .. as she is in love she starts to misbehave with her mom at first (the way prachi used to misbehave with the family members).. she notices it & then finds abt her affair .. & she finds the guy inappropriate .. she makes her daughter understand don't meet that guy (when Sachi said no for the marriage).. but she keeps not listening to her .. so mother even slaps her & keeps inquiring her all the time .. then daughter gets even more irritated .. still her affair is on .. one day her mother says i have a doubt u r still having the affair & she revolts there that she has a right to fall in love & then the mother says if u marry the guy i won't give u a penny ( the way everyone wants Saachi to not give Prachi a penny as the guy & family is worthless)! so the girl & her bf decides to kill her mother & they execute their plan & then the girl is able to hide it for long time .. finally police caught her with her bf & they confessed!

okay so see everyone is having prob with Sachi's soft way of dealing with Prachi or letting Prachi to blackmail her .. but heer in the case the mom was wiser & took evry step she could take at a primary stage .. but what was the result ? was her hardness enough ? & in the end Anup gave an example of understanding ur kid's choice & value them & even if they r not good at this time , be soft to them & let them take the decision .. so he is asking parents to be like Saachi & support ur kid in these matters ..!

see i m not saying mothers should not be hard & even should not be soft .. but after a sudden period of time a mother's guidance is not enough .. u need to think on urself & make decisions ... now we have seen both way of handling of child .. soft & hard but any of them didn't worked coz it is upto the child .. if the child is positive any of techniques wld work but if he is not nothing would work ... & don't say me a child has no brains at all & believes what his parent say coz clearly since childhood everyone has own identity & it depends on the child's response to the environment .. that's y every child is not same though parents r the same!