Katha Ankahee -- #14 daily EDT [DT NOTE PG 121] - Page 23

Originally posted by: G259

Viaan confronts self centered selfish Teji

Viaan is absolutely and practically logically every way correct but what did Teji do again .. instead of for once accepting that she ran behind wealth and doesn't care about viaan, again she started to argue and what's that logoc katha came so he changed?? Had katha not came in his life and he was the same woman hater and by any way or by any miracle this truth came out to him?? What does teji think that at that moment he would have understood what teji did or I think he would have disowned her too... That she also isn't trustworthy at all .. he wouldn't have accepted vanya seema but that time teji would definitely have suffered too instead of still enjoying everything here.

Just pathetic for a person and even more for a mother Teji...

Now that quarrel between Ehsan and Farah seems so justified and correct.

Originally posted by: NayaNehaD31

what is she talking about lol

Single mothers ke liye thinking change? Isn't she a single mother herself?

Teju being to her true self

Paranoid , obsessed over son and controlling 🤣🤣🤣Pull the right thread like most of the ITV's Mom's... Luckily Viaan is different 🤣

Just saw the sneak peak..oh man the story is messed up literally messed up ...mera bachpan barbaad nhi hota..single mother bla bla kya ho raha hai?

Is Earthcon still running i mean Viaan is caught up with his family problems Katha is playing detective Ehsan is playing Vanya Vanya like who is running Earth con...Jenny?

And why does Katha know every single thing like from Meera to the scandal where Viaan was accused to Viaan being Robin and now this sh*t. Viaan kya kar raha hai is he a smart ass just in name.

It would have been better if it was Viaan who had found out about all the sh*t in his family like one day he goes to his mom's room and he finds out his father's letter which was for him and then questions it to his mom....I know it's an ITV cliche but atleast Viaan found out something on his own...hearing the answer from his mom Viaan acts weird and then Katha could come into the picture worrying why Viaan is acting weird....I think we could have been better writers than the real writers of ITV.

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

exes being friends for sake of child is way too contentious topic in Indian context. one family court judge said parents should be able to sit for a cup of tea for the sake of children instead of fighting like crazy birds in court and destroying the peace of children involved. he got a backlash. people didn't get where he was coming from. 🙄 all he said essentially was be civil. even for that people hated it. friendship is pipe dream in messy divorce.

Yeah I understand it's complicated .. but besides the particular case you referred to, there are cases where divorces happen and parents reman on amicable terms for the sake of the children.. It all depends on whether or not you are able to put the child's needs above yours. Hrithik and Suzanne for instance parted ways but they come together for their kids.. Malaika and Arbaaz.. I'm sure there are instances from couples outside BW too.. As far as backlash from people goes, you gotta think about your child, and your family... These people won't be the ones to help you give your child a normal childhood. They will yap and walk away. As parents it's their responsibility to ensure the child gets a normal, healthy upbringing. If you decide to bring a life into existence, then you should be responsible enough to ensure he gets a normal upbringing.

At times parents being divorced still friends , that takes a lot emotional maturity from parents side !

When parents are responsible for birth of children they must make sure that child gets a healthy up bringing

Totally agree on that point

Originally posted by: MistyDawn

Yeah I understand it's complicated .. but besides the particular case you referred to, there are cases where divorces happen and parents reman on amicable terms for the sake of the children.. It all depends on whether or not you are able to put the child's needs above yours. Hrithik and Suzanne for instance parted ways but they come together for their kids.. Malaika and Arbaaz.. I'm sure there are instances from couples outside BW too.. As far as backlash from people goes, you gotta think about your child, and your family... These people won't be the ones to help you give your child a normal childhood. They will yap and walk away. As parents it's their responsibility to ensure the child gets a normal, healthy upbringing. If you decide to bring a life into existence, then you should be responsible enough to ensure he gets a normal upbringing.

I am not sure about bollywood as most of these people just pose for the camera. so I am distrusting in general of perfect entertainer images especially when you hear of gossip behind the scenes. .

that said, there are very cases I have heard of where the ex-couple are civil for the sake of children. instead, many women opted for downright vindictive and have denied any contact with the ex-husband. now, how these children will feel once they grow up, what kind of thought they will have about marriage and love, how they will learn things that only fathers can pass on -- who knows. but yea, all a bit sad.

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

I am not sure about bollywood as most of these people just pose for the camera. so I am distrusting in general of perfect entertainer images especially when you hear of gossip behind the scenes. .

that said, there are very cases I have heard of where the ex-couple are civil for the sake of children. instead, many women opted for downright vindictive and have denied any contact with the ex-husband. now, how these children will feel once they grow up, what kind of thought they will have about marriage and love, how they will learn things that only fathers can pass on -- who knows. but yea, all a bit sad.

Agree it's very sad if parents are not able to keep their differences aside for the sake of the child.. Like Rosh said, it requires emotional maturity and not everyone has that .. In Teji's case I can understand her grudge...what Viraj did was wrong not to mention extremely selfish..but 25-35 years is a long time and when you see your child suffering you should yield after a point for his happiness. But that's the thing with Teji... She couldn't look past her own world, her own grief to take notice of Viaan..

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

letha -- the reason this track is coming off as really strange is the emphasis on love and how that is license to do whatever. that is very strange thinking within the Indian context.

have mentioned this long time ago but in many Indian languages, we have several words for love -- romantic love is right next to lust and is on the bottom. we see love as a fleeting and fickle emotion. it is why we don't really emphasize or talk about it so much.

now respect on the other hand such a strong emotional connotation which just does not come across in english. just say 'izzat' and how strongly we feel.

I am reminded of a bagya lakshmi serial scene where the daughter will be rude to the 2nd wife for telling her to study. then the grandfather will chide her saying, "first of all, she is your father's wife and you should respect her. you don't have to like her but you need to respect her as your elder because of her relationship with your father. you don't have to like or agree with what happened between your parents but that has nothing to do with you. however as a human being and a woman, you should give her respect as that is our culture."

for me, that is what this conflict should be about -- the battle for respect. teji blackened a man's name after his death. that is such a no-no in our culture because honour, name and reputation is so highly valued. that is the crux. now in order to get respect, you cannot justify your actions in the name of love.

viraj was unhappy and wanted to leave -- that is okay in my book. as ruchita mentioned, there have been many murders and crimes when people wanted to exit a marriage. in many crime patrol episode, the host will say, "just choose divorce. please don't resort to murder".

in some families, there may not be physical murder but it is so emotionally toxic where they all hate each other and kids end up despising marriage and love. so in those kind of emotionally toxic and turbulent situations, it is best if the couple splits up rather than hurt each other.

there was a regional debate show where adult children said openly they wished parents didn't stay together for the sake of children because they were so miserable growing up.

so if viraj wanted to leave -- happens. viraj wanted to live with someone else and a different life -- happens. teji was upset and created drama -- happens.

now what I find weird is the justification track by using the excuse of love. that is very strange. viraj was unhappy and that had nothing to do with whether he loved teji or not. their marriage was clearly a mismatch and that happens a lot in arranged marriage. so why are they talking so much about love? that I don't get. it is irrelevant if he fell in love with seema -- if not seema, it would have been someone else because he was unhappy and he wanted a different life. these things happen.

so all this justification by using the word love is total bakwas. seema is a 3rd party which is a fact. it is also fact that that she wasn't mistress but more second wife. we can debate law and legalities but within Indian context, second wife does have some respect.

so teji's actions on their izzat was messed up -- seema should have been given the respect of second wife and viraj was not some playboy. maligning a man's character after his death where he is not around to defend himself is a real low. so if the makers just approached from the izzat/respect angle without going into this weird tangent about love, it would feel more desi. all this talk about love makes me feel like I am watching some western show.

humans are messy. just show how the relationship and marriage deteriorated without doing a black and white approach. I can't believe I am saying this but even serials like bagya lakshmi and anupama had a far more sophisticated understanding of how marriages unraveled. 😆

I think there is a reason why they are emphasizing on love so much. Teji and Viraj were an arrange marriage couple (as far as I know). They failed. Now Viraj and Seema were in love and they were kind of successful. Now that was past. In present, Teji kept bringing arranged marriage proposals for Viaan even after he explicitly said he was not ready. Now, there is Viaan and Katha, imperfect but in love. So it's about seemingly perfect but not in love people versus imperfect but in love people.

Originally posted by: Shri_12

I think there is a reason why they are emphasizing on love so much. Teji and Viraj were an arrange marriage couple (as far as I know). They failed. Now Viraj and Seema were in love and they were kind of successful. Now that was past. In present, Teji kept bringing arranged marriage proposals for Viaan even after he explicitly said he was not ready. Now, there is Viaan and Katha, imperfect but in love. So it's about seemingly perfect but not in love people versus imperfect but in love people.

it just feels very immature writing -- not something I would expect for a 30 something couple. like monster08 said, we can write better stuff than this.

we all know that love or lack of love is not what causes longevity in marriage. as ruchita pointed out, it is actually respect. once a spouse has no respect for the other, the marriage is essentially dead and becomes increasingly toxic. teji is still in love with her husband but she also hates him. so all this chatter about love is totally bakwas.

viraj and teji did not fall out of love -- instead they hated and despised each other for who knows how long. that was the actual issue and that spilled over into their relationship with viaan and his outlook towards women.

in reality, a love marriage does not mean people don't get divorced or start hating each other. viraj and seema could have also started hating each other after a few years. who knows. so how they met is irrelevant to the success or failure of the relationship -- it is about what people put in to the relationship and what they can and cannot tolerate.

the implication that viaan and katha are in love and therefore perfect together just gets me facepalm. the justification that viraj and seema are in love and therefore, it is okay to have an affair is just off. it feels like a side swipe at the other serials where people fall in love after they get arranged marriage.

Originally posted by: Shri_12

I think there is a reason why they are emphasizing on love so much. Teji and Viraj were an arrange marriage couple (as far as I know). They failed. Now Viraj and Seema were in love and they were kind of successful. Now that was past. In present, Teji kept bringing arranged marriage proposals for Viaan even after he explicitly said he was not ready. Now, there is Viaan and Katha, imperfect but in love. So it's about seemingly perfect but not in love people versus imperfect but in love people.

Sorry to barge in.. I feel the success or longevity of any relationship including marriage depends on a lot of factors- love, emotional dependence and mutual respect are a given. but it requires more than the basics to sustain a relationship. Viraj died when Vanya was maybe in her early teens or even younger.. so his relationship with Seema didn't exactly stand the test of time to label it successful.. Also, people do fall in and out of love in marriages. Happens all the time in arranged and love marriages alike. What complicates things is when you give a half hearted chance to your relationship like Viraj did but then bring a child into the world.. That should change your priorities.. What I did not like is the way Viraj ended it. He was the one who decided to move out..fair enough ..he didn't have a choice because Teji wasn't giving a divorce.. But he owed it to his child to explain him everything.. When he said that he will always take Viaan's responsibility that should've included making sure that he knows what's happening around him..Why his parents are separating? More than Teji it was his responsibility because he took the decision to walk out on them..

So basically what I am trying to say I guess is that love marriage or love in a marriage vs arranged marriage all hinge around few basic emotions but there is so much more to all this and so its difficult to box them in one category or say which one is or can be successful.. when a child is involved the least you can do if you have decided to part ways is, respect him/her enough to let them know what they are or have to deal with..