Originally posted by: mango.falooda
letha -- the reason this track is coming off as really strange is the emphasis on love and how that is license to do whatever. that is very strange thinking within the Indian context.
have mentioned this long time ago but in many Indian languages, we have several words for love -- romantic love is right next to lust and is on the bottom. we see love as a fleeting and fickle emotion. it is why we don't really emphasize or talk about it so much.
now respect on the other hand such a strong emotional connotation which just does not come across in english. just say 'izzat' and how strongly we feel.
I am reminded of a bagya lakshmi serial scene where the daughter will be rude to the 2nd wife for telling her to study. then the grandfather will chide her saying, "first of all, she is your father's wife and you should respect her. you don't have to like her but you need to respect her as your elder because of her relationship with your father. you don't have to like or agree with what happened between your parents but that has nothing to do with you. however as a human being and a woman, you should give her respect as that is our culture."
for me, that is what this conflict should be about -- the battle for respect. teji blackened a man's name after his death. that is such a no-no in our culture because honour, name and reputation is so highly valued. that is the crux. now in order to get respect, you cannot justify your actions in the name of love.
viraj was unhappy and wanted to leave -- that is okay in my book. as ruchita mentioned, there have been many murders and crimes when people wanted to exit a marriage. in many crime patrol episode, the host will say, "just choose divorce. please don't resort to murder".
in some families, there may not be physical murder but it is so emotionally toxic where they all hate each other and kids end up despising marriage and love. so in those kind of emotionally toxic and turbulent situations, it is best if the couple splits up rather than hurt each other.
there was a regional debate show where adult children said openly they wished parents didn't stay together for the sake of children because they were so miserable growing up.
so if viraj wanted to leave -- happens. viraj wanted to live with someone else and a different life -- happens. teji was upset and created drama -- happens.
now what I find weird is the justification track by using the excuse of love. that is very strange. viraj was unhappy and that had nothing to do with whether he loved teji or not. their marriage was clearly a mismatch and that happens a lot in arranged marriage. so why are they talking so much about love? that I don't get. it is irrelevant if he fell in love with seema -- if not seema, it would have been someone else because he was unhappy and he wanted a different life. these things happen.
so all this justification by using the word love is total bakwas. seema is a 3rd party which is a fact. it is also fact that that she wasn't mistress but more second wife. we can debate law and legalities but within Indian context, second wife does have some respect.
so teji's actions on their izzat was messed up -- seema should have been given the respect of second wife and viraj was not some playboy. maligning a man's character after his death where he is not around to defend himself is a real low. so if the makers just approached from the izzat/respect angle without going into this weird tangent about love, it would feel more desi. all this talk about love makes me feel like I am watching some western show.
humans are messy. just show how the relationship and marriage deteriorated without doing a black and white approach. I can't believe I am saying this but even serials like bagya lakshmi and anupama had a far more sophisticated understanding of how marriages unraveled. 😆
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