Slapping doesn't always mean violence!!! - Page 9

Just because my parents have hit me and I turned out to be good, doesn't mean that the same thing applies to everyone. Also, there's nothing to feel proud about that humko toh bachpan se hi violence ki aadat hai.

There are people who actually go through shit due to the abuse they face in their childhood. The statement in the above para comes across as very insensitive to such people.

Not everyone goes through similar experiences in life. Hope that's kept in mind while generalising your life experiences to justify something fictional.

Originally posted by: IFLove

Thanks for saying this doc. So much for writing "insensitive topic". I thought we all here r adults n we know how to deal with insensitive things. U can't ignore things in life because they r insensitive. That's the harsh reality of life, isn't it? I m feeling horrible as if I spoke something insensitive to small kids and caused them some mental trauma. (Just to clarify myself, I m not calling any of y'all kids. I mean actual little kids)

IF Love🤗

This is a sensitive topic and you knew it while posting isnt it😉

You have expressed yourself well and you shouldn't be discouraged from posting here bcoz of opposing views especially the ones where you are targetted at a personal level. its better to ignore them and try to answer as far as possible. Rest there is always an option of ignoring🤗

We all are aware of the situation here isnt it🤗

It's obvious that we justify this because it's Mohini, Komolika and whoever known as negative roles or villains. But when it comes to Anurag and Prerna, our theories will be different. The truth is we are not interested in villains or negative roles. That's why all these things happen.

Originally posted by: Reemz11

Whether you feel Mohini needed a slap or not, why is there a topic made on defending slapping? :/ I’m sorry but why even do that?

Forget fiction. The sad thing is that you’ve written a whole list of situations where slapping is necessary. Unless it’s in self-defence, slapping IS NEVER necessary.

Keep fiction and reality apart. It’s even sadder that 20+ have liked this post.

Well, even i have liked her post while i have presented a different counter-argument as to how the Moloy slapping Moh was unwarranted. i liked the post because it let me know about different perspective than my own.

"Liking" a post doesn't necessarily mean validating it. So don't make it sound like a sacrilege or nearing of apocalypse when it is not so.

Originally posted by: braveheartdoc

Its upto you as to what post you wish to like but then you cant generalise your views to everyone. Just as I dont agree to this post of yours but still i liked it bcoz you quoted me. So its an individual choice dear😊

Regarding making a topic i dont know if you were there in the forum or not such a topic on thappads discussion has been made earlier too when Anurag slapped Prerna and there were many threads so our respectable mod Munni had merged the threads and the title was all thappad discussions here. So such topic in the forum is not for the first time 😉

Rest its the choice of the TM to make a post in a way she feels right. You cant question that especially when she is following the rules of IF. I agree this is a sensitive topic but I really dont understand why accepting differing opinions is so difficult here

Hey Braveheartdoc, its okay to to keep anurag-prerna, show, forum, rules, etc aside for a moment. The topic is beyond these pity things and more about real life. I dunno why, but I am sure if given a choice in real wolrd you would never defend the views presented regarding slapping. Not just you and me but even the TM won't be able to stand in front of room full of real people and say all that has been said to justify because most of us are educated. Justify character actions as much you want but don't say it is a cultural thing to hit kids and its okay to hit kids. Would you ever hit a child for whatever reason? Would you ever hit yout friend? You would shout, argue, get angry but not hit so why take a stand for something that's fundamentally wrong? May be people in the past did it, but times have changed. Something that was right parents ke zamane mein is not neccessarily right at present.

Originally posted by: cassiop

Hey Braveheartdoc, its okay to to keep anurag-prerna, show, forum, rules, etc aside for a moment. The topic is beyond these pity things and more about real life. I dunno why, but I am sure if given a choice in real wolrd you would never defend the views presented regarding slapping. Not just you and me but even the TM won't be able to stand in front of room full of real people and say all that has been said to justify because most of us are educated. Justify character actions as much you want but don't say it is a cultural thing to hit kids and its okay to hit kids. Would you ever hit a child for whatever reason? Would you ever hit yout friend? You would shout, argue, get angry but not hit so why take a stand for something that's fundamentally wrong? May be people in the past did it, but times have changed. Something that was right parents ke zamane mein is not neccessarily right at present.

I agree to what you said but nowhere has the TM justified slapping. She just tried to put forward her views on how and what circumstances may force someone to slap another person. Otherwise in real world no kind of violence can be ever justified especially now that the times have changed. Even I have been slapped many times in my childhood by my mother but now that its really become a sensitive issue so lets not even try and justify slapping kids.

My only point in support of the TM is that yes there are many circumstances where you are so much out of control that you dont really know what you are doing. Have we not as mature adults come across such situations? We have but then everyone has their own way of dealing with their anger.

When we talk about real life situations we as doctors come across patients who are not in their senses and we as doctors and nurses end up getting hit many times. But can we blame the patients NO. So there are different circumstances whih lead to such incidents.

But am I trying to justify slapping....NOOOOO

But do I think that there can be situations which can force someone to do so.....YESSSS.

Originally posted by: braveheartdoc

I agree to what you said but nowhere has the TM justified slapping. She just tried to put forward her views on how and what circumstances may force someone to slap another person. Otherwise in real world no kind of violence can be ever justified especially now that the times have changed. Even I have been slapped many times in my childhood by my mother but now that its really become a sensitive issue so lets not even try and justify slapping kids.

My only point in support of the TM is that yes there are many circumstances where you are so much out of control that you dont really know what you are doing. Have we not as mature adults come across such situations? We have but then everyone has their own way of dealing with their anger.

When we talk about real life situations we as doctors come across patients who are not in their senses and we as doctors and nurses end up getting hit many times. But can we blame the patients NO. So there are different circumstances whih lead to such incidents.

But am I trying to justify slapping....NOOOOO

But do I think that there can be situations which can force someone to do so.....YESSSS.

Originally posted by: braveheartdoc

I agree to what you said but nowhere has the TM justified slapping. She just tried to put forward her views on how and what circumstances may force someone to slap another person. Otherwise in real world no kind of violence can be ever justified especially now that the times have changed. Even I have been slapped many times in my childhood by my mother but now that its really become a sensitive issue so lets not even try and justify slapping kids.

My only point in support of the TM is that yes there are many circumstances where you are so much out of control that you dont really know what you are doing. Have we not as mature adults come across such situations? We have but then everyone has their own way of dealing with their anger. If I may try to understand it further, are you saying if I get into a situation where I am forced to hit/slap; or I am not able to control my anger and I hit someone because that's how I know to deal with my anger- then my act doesn't qualify as violence? That's the whole crux of this post is which worried a lot here I guess. Just because ended up hitting, under some sort of influence then I should be treated differently?

When we talk about real life situations we as doctors come across patients who are not in their senses and we as doctors and nurses end up getting hit many times. But can we blame the patients NO. You may not blame the patients or relatives but do you not consider it violence. Don't you seek protection from such patients and entire doctor's agitation recently was all about this. I don't think you are validating doctor's manhandling just because patients were not thinking straight. So there are different circumstances whih lead to such incidents.

But am I trying to justify slapping....NOOOOO sorry when we don't take a stand and speak it gives an impression that we are defending. I felt se hence, I commented. Glad to know you are not justifying.

But do I think that there can be situations which can force someone to do so.....YESSSS. true but it can never be justified like slaps under several situations are in original post and later hitting kids in several other posts.

Originally posted by: cassiop

I think this would probably be my last quote to you as I dont wanna stretch this too far really as I know we cant really impose our opinions on others just like you wont be able to do it on me.

So regarding the slap out of any reason amounting to violence....it does amount to that but Still I stick to my view point that there are situations where such instances happen and later the person even regrets as to why he or she did that. Just like Anurag immediately apologised and even when Mohini was shown to slap Anurag she regretted. Same way with Moloy dont we all know what type of a character he has been over the last one year? Im not sure if you are watching since that long or not but he has been the most positive character so far. So now today what they showed could have been avoided but at the same time I dont sympathisize with Mohini at all. She deserves this....

Your second point about the patients and relatives....I would tell you that no patient can be held responsible if he is not in his senses. Yes we are trying to deal with the relatives and the agitation and all you mentioned was mainly related to that not the patient per se. The relatives do all this in their senses with whatever agenda thats a different issue.

I think thats enough from my end for the day thanks for the discussion...take care and have a great day ahead🤗

LONG POST ALERT ! People who don't like long posts, you have been duly warned😃.

Good morning girls/ boys !!!

IFLove ( not sure if this is how you would like to be addressed ), great writing, articulation and clarity of thoughts 👍🏼! I absolutely understand what you are saying even though I may not agree to what you are saying. Please pardon any inconsistencies, as I haven't watched the current episodes for a while now. Came here for a breather and got hooked on this topic.

First off, I applaud you for your courage to pick such a sensitive topic to discuss and be open and inviting for other ideas. You are my kind of girl/boy👍🏼, my dear. I don't accept anything in general terms, I always have a take on things presented and I understand you did the same here. So, love the effort trying to discuss, even though I am sure you knew that this could ignite a fire here.

From my personal perspective, I have a zero tolerance to any kind of slapping/ physical abuse👎🏼. This is my personal cut off, for right or wrong. This is because when you apply for general populations, a person who is in power/ advantaged position may be able to explain away the abuse to onlookers as disciplining or one time emotional outburst or controlling or whatever else. The victim of such abuse may be less articulate either because of age, lack of maturity, emotional stunting because of abuse or just plain constitution. I am not contradicting anything, I am just stating my reasons to believe what I believe in.

But mental and emotional abuse ka kya? The wounds don't show, the torturer can very easily take a moral and ethical high ground if the victim is humiliated enough not to disclose the abuse. Yehi hota hain even in physical abuse. The humiliation is unimaginable to the person who is slapped or physically hurt, I don't care what the circumstance is. I don't believe in raising my voice,even, when there is a debate or argument about certain things, as I feel it takes away from the problem at hand and focuses on the emotion of screaming. Let me give a simple example of humiliation. I am mother of a 11 month old puppy and a 9 yr old little girl. One of my cousins visiting me felt that my puppy needed to be disciplined in a certain way, he is after all an animal, who doesn't have skills to understand language. With a rolled magazine, he got ONE spank on his behind, you won't believe what this little puppy guy did to me. He would not look me in the eye for the whole day😲💔, gave me major attitude, won't leave husband alone ( whom he thought of as an equal to him before that, and didn't give two hoots when competing for my attention ). That truly humiliated him. Who says he is an animal? 😲He is my baby alright. But, what I mean to say is that physical punishment is humiliating no matter what.

Coming to this show however, the writers are not showing this slap to tell us that Moloy was offended and hence the infamy. The writers want to show that a bad, offensive woman needs to be controlled and a slap is how you do it. That woman deserved that slap BECAUSE she was offensive and that it is OK for her husband who has "full rights" on her to take that liberty. The writers are playing this for the masses. I would have been more receptive to the writers if they applied this to all offensive people . Then, I would have agreed to the fact that the writers are just showing a momentarily lapse in control because Moloy or somebody was sooo overwhelmed by emotion. Case in question: if both mommies have served the same physical punishment to a certain horrific character who had served emotional and physical torture to their respective children, I would have said the writers did really show nothing but momentary anger. Veena could have torn a certain character for what was doled out on her vulnerable young daughter. Mohini would have been well within her rights if she had torn a certain character to pieces for physically hurting her child and husband with an intent to kill. I don't know if they even knew how that character abused their respective children. Both the mothers' rage should have been many, many fold more than that of Moloy's anger about questioning his grandchild's paternity. But what did the cowardly writers do? They gave the character some grandiose, nonsensical rhetoric😡. When a bad, offensive woman can be slapped , why not a horrible, offensive guy? Why did he get honored as if he just set foot on Mars and back? This is why I don't buy this slap even if I twist myself into a pretzel.

But if you ask me is Moloy an abuser? My answer is NO. I hope I haven't confused you. Thank you for giving a platform for different perspectives and not shy away from tough topics and questions. I agree with the fact that our experiences, our background , our general outlook on life is what shapes our perspective. And these are very different for different people and that is OK and we/I have the patience to hear out other thoughts👍🏼

Have a great day !