Slapping doesn't always mean violence!!! - Page 10

Originally posted by: braveheartdoc

I think this would probably be my last quote to you as I dont wanna stretch this too far really as I know we cant really impose our opinions on others just like you wont be able to do it on me.

So regarding the slap out of any reason amounting to violence....it does amount to that but Still I stick to my view point that there are situations where such instances happen and later the person even regrets as to why he or she did that. Just like Anurag immediately apologised and even when Mohini was shown to slap Anurag she regretted. Same way with Moloy dont we all know what type of a character he has been over the last one year? Im not sure if you are watching since that long or not but he has been the most positive character so far. So now today what they showed could have been avoided but at the same time I dont sympathisize with Mohini at all. She deserves this....

Your second point about the patients and relatives....I would tell you that no patient can be held responsible if he is not in his senses. Yes we are trying to deal with the relatives and the agitation and all you mentioned was mainly related to that not the patient per se. The relatives do all this in their senses with whatever agenda thats a different issue.

I think thats enough from my end for the day thanks for the discussion...take care and have a great day ahead🤗

Agree to you.

Originally posted by: braveheartdoc

I think this would probably be my last quote to you as I dont wanna stretch this too far really as I know we cant really impose our opinions on others just like you wont be able to do it on me.

So regarding the slap out of any reason amounting to violence....it does amount to that but Still I stick to my view point that there are situations where such instances happen and later the person even regrets as to why he or she did that. Just like Anurag immediately apologised and even when Mohini was shown to slap Anurag she regretted. Same way with Moloy dont we all know what type of a character he has been over the last one year? Im not sure if you are watching since that long or not but he has been the most positive character so far. So now today what they showed could have been avoided but at the same time I dont sympathisize with Mohini at all. She deserves this....

Your second point about the patients and relatives....I would tell you that no patient can be held responsible if he is not in his senses. Yes we are trying to deal with the relatives and the agitation and all you mentioned was mainly related to that not the patient per se. The relatives do all this in their senses with whatever agenda thats a different issue.

I think thats enough from my end for the day thanks for the discussion...take care and have a great day ahead🤗

It was nice engaging in chat with you! Take care!

Originally posted by: mili9

LONG POST ALERT ! People who don't like long posts, you have been duly warned😃.

Good morning girls/ boys !!!

IFLove ( not sure if this is how you would like to be addressed ), great writing, articulation and clarity of thoughts 👍🏼! I absolutely understand what you are saying even though I may not agree to what you are saying. Please pardon any inconsistencies, as I haven't watched the current episodes for a while now. Came here for a breather and got hooked on this topic.

First off, I applaud you for your courage to pick such a sensitive topic to discuss and be open and inviting for other ideas. You are my kind of girl/boy👍🏼, my dear. I don't accept anything in general terms, I always have a take on things presented and I understand you did the same here. So, love the effort trying to discuss, even though I am sure you knew that this could ignite a fire here.

From my personal perspective, I have a zero tolerance to any kind of slapping/ physical abuse👎🏼. This is my personal cut off, for right or wrong. This is because when you apply for general populations, a person who is in power/ advantaged position may be able to explain away the abuse to onlookers as disciplining or one time emotional outburst or controlling or whatever else. The victim of such abuse may be less articulate either because of age, lack of maturity, emotional stunting because of abuse or just plain constitution. I am not contradicting anything, I am just stating my reasons to believe what I believe in.

But mental and emotional abuse ka kya? The wounds don't show, the torturer can very easily take a moral and ethical high ground if the victim is humiliated enough not to disclose the abuse. Yehi hota hain even in physical abuse. The humiliation is unimaginable to the person who is slapped or physically hurt, I don't care what the circumstance is. I don't believe in raising my voice,even, when there is a debate or argument about certain things, as I feel it takes away from the problem at hand and focuses on the emotion of screaming. Let me give a simple example of humiliation. I am mother of a 11 month old puppy and a 9 yr old little girl. One of my cousins visiting me felt that my puppy needed to be disciplined in a certain way, he is after all an animal, who doesn't have skills to understand language. With a rolled magazine, he got ONE spank on his behind, you won't believe what this little puppy guy did to me. He would not look me in the eye for the whole day😲💔, gave me major attitude, won't leave husband alone ( whom he thought of as an equal to him before that, and didn't give two hoots when competing for my attention ). That truly humiliated him. Who says he is an animal? 😲He is my baby alright. But, what I mean to say is that physical punishment is humiliating no matter what.

Coming to this show however, the writers are not showing this slap to tell us that Moloy was offended and hence the infamy. The writers want to show that a bad, offensive woman needs to be controlled and a slap is how you do it. That woman deserved that slap BECAUSE she was offensive and that it is OK for her husband who has "full rights" on her to take that liberty. The writers are playing this for the masses. I would have been more receptive to the writers if they applied this to all offensive people . Then, I would have agreed to the fact that the writers are just showing a momentarily lapse in control because Moloy or somebody was sooo overwhelmed by emotion. Case in question: if both mommies have served the same physical punishment to a certain horrific character who had served emotional and physical torture to their respective children, I would have said the writers did really show nothing but momentary anger. Veena could have torn a certain character for what was doled out on her vulnerable young daughter. Mohini would have been well within her rights if she had torn a certain character to pieces for physically hurting her child and husband with an intent to kill. I don't know if they even knew how that character abused their respective children. Both the mothers' rage should have been many, many fold more than that of Moloy's anger about questioning his grandchild's paternity. But what did the cowardly writers do? They gave the character some grandiose, nonsensical rhetoric😡. When a bad, offensive woman can be slapped , why not a horrible, offensive guy? Why did he get honored as if he just set foot on Mars and back? This is why I don't buy this slap even if I twist myself into a pretzel.

But if you ask me is Moloy an abuser? My answer is NO. I hope I haven't confused you. Thank you for giving a platform for different perspectives and not shy away from tough topics and questions. I agree with the fact that our experiences, our background , our general outlook on life is what shapes our perspective. And these are very different for different people and that is OK and we/I have the patience to hear out other thoughts👍🏼

Have a great day !

OMG your post's length. But this the best. You've described the situations in a well formed manner. And it was all truth. Congrats!!!

Originally posted by: cassiop

Hey, IFlove it seems you have generalized entire slap theory based on a kid being slapped by parents for a mistake or teach then a lesson. Which unfortunately is not fair to justify the act and come with a list of scenarios where one is/should be allowed. And you mentioned about culture, I am finding it hard to find the connection between culture and slapping. Would love if you could elaborate how culture fit in here.

If I may ask a personal question because your post is mostly about real life and I'll respect your choice if you decide not to answer. Keeping aside a kid being slapped, are you okay with an adult slapping another adult in any kind of relationship varying from bro-sis, husband-wife, gf-bf, friends, etc? In any conflicting situation is that the best thing to do being educated and learned adults. I can't imagine my parents slapping each other even if I were a 5 year old.

You are absolutely correct that every parent have their way of treating their child, though I personally feel slapping a child is the easiest way for parents choose to rectify mistakes and there are other better ways to do the same. Neverthless is that enough to actually justify it under other situations?

Hi. I had stopped replying on this post but since u r asking politely, I would like to answer you.

Firsth thing, I didn't really justify slapping in real life nor I ever said it is allowed to slap someone in some situation. Idk why it is being assumed so here. The title of my post itself speaks for what I want to convey. My only intention was to tell that slapping doesn't always mean violence or abuse. That's it. I listed out the scenarios when people just happen to slap the other. That can be right or wrong which depends on the situation. In my eyes, what mohini did was disgusting and hence if in the heat of the moment, moloy raised his hand, I can understand it, that's it. Here people r willing to see komolika torture mohini. Do u think she'll do anything less than slapping? This was my issue. Just because a husband slaps his wife, it becomes a case of abuse for many. Whereas moloy is far from an abuser and he is such a darling husband in spite of having a witch as his wife. My sole intention to create this post was that if one slaps the other person out of anything but purely intentions of slapping or harassing, it is not an abuse or violence, it is only slap, that's it.

I made this post and disappeared for the day and when I came back, the discussions were being done about kids and parents hitting the kids and all. I never mentioned kids in my original post. That was just my comment to the others discussing here. Some were of the opinion that yes parents do slap their kids once or twice and that's okay. Whereas others were like slapping causes mental trauma to the kids. N I believe both r correct. One or two slaps, especially at your house without anybody noticing u getting slapped and teasing u, doesn't cause any trauma to the kid. Whereas if it's repetitive or say a kid is slapped in front of his friends n his friends bully him for that, then yes, it can cause a trauma. Hence I talked about culture here. I didn't say slapping is a cultural thing. If I say so, it means slapping is some tradition and it must be followed. I said it differs from culture to culture. To be more precise, u shouldn't slap a kid even once is a thought coming from Western countries and now it is being followed by Indians too. Whereas there r Indian families where the elders say yeh sab aajkal k chochle hain bacho ko maaro mat n all. I hear young mommies at my workplace saying humara time acha tha, ek kheechke maaro aur hum chup ho jaate the, aajkal k bacho k sath wo bhi nahi Kar sakte. I have also heard of incidents where the grandparents staying in India visit their grandchildren staying abroad with their parents and if they shout on them or speak in a little higher tone, the kids call the police complaining that we r being harassed at home. That's when these elders say yeh in logon ka culture aisa hai. That's what I meant by culture. It is like saying kissing one's hand is okay in culture of a few whereas for others, it is not acceptable. And none of them r wrong in their places, nor do we have a right to say the other is wrong. I hope I made my point about culture clear.

And about being slapped in real life, of course I wouldn't like it. Who likes to get slapped? But I also understand two things. One, if someone slaps me, I should first try to understand why they shapped me and then react. If there's someone who is slapping me every now n then for no real good reason, obviously I won't like it nor will I tolerate it. But if someone exceptionally happens to slap me, I'll take a moment to analyse why they did what they did. If the reason is understandable, which includes my extreme mistake or exceptional emotional imbalance of the other person and if that person is really dear to me, I'll not say a word against it, because I know whoever might be wrong in that situation, we'll come around and patch up and discuss and sort things. When we r talking about adults, talking obviously is the best thing to do which people normally do. Slapping is a very rare case which can not be generalised can be justified or not depending on the situation. And the second thing I understand is if slapping someone is required, I won't think twice before doing that. And this will happen only when I have had enough from that person already and trust me, my patience level is extremely high in real life and it will take someone worse than mohini to force me to slap...but in case if I do, I'll not regret even once.

Phew...I m tired of this topic now 😂

Hope I could answer u well.

Originally posted by: IFLove

Hi. I had stopped replying on this post but since u r asking politely, I would like to answer you.

Firsth thing, I didn't really justify slapping in real life nor I ever said it is allowed to slap someone in some situation. Idk why it is being assumed so here. The title of my post itself speaks for what I want to convey. My only intention was to tell that slapping doesn't always mean violence or abuse. That's it. I listed out the scenarios when people just happen to slap the other. That can be right or wrong which depends on the situation. In my eyes, what mohini did was disgusting and hence if in the heat of the moment, moloy raised his hand, I can understand it, that's it. Here people r willing to see komolika torture mohini. Do u think she'll do anything less than slapping? This was my issue. Just because a husband slaps his wife, it becomes a case of abuse for many. Whereas moloy is far from an abuser and he is such a darling husband in spite of having a witch as his wife. My sole intention to create this post was that if one slaps the other person out of anything but purely intentions of slapping or harassing, it is not an abuse or violence, it is only slap, that's it.

I made this post and disappeared for the day and when I came back, the discussions were being done about kids and parents hitting the kids and all. I never mentioned kids in my original post. That was just my comment to the others discussing here. Some were of the opinion that yes parents do slap their kids once or twice and that's okay. Whereas others were like slapping causes mental trauma to the kids. N I believe both r correct. One or two slaps, especially at your house without anybody noticing u getting slapped and teasing u, doesn't cause any trauma to the kid. Whereas if it's repetitive or say a kid is slapped in front of his friends n his friends bully him for that, then yes, it can cause a trauma. Hence I talked about culture here. I didn't say slapping is a cultural thing. If I say so, it means slapping is some tradition and it must be followed. I said it differs from culture to culture. To be more precise, u shouldn't slap a kid even once is a thought coming from Western countries and now it is being followed by Indians too. Whereas there r Indian families where the elders say yeh sab aajkal k chochle hain bacho ko maaro mat n all. I hear young mommies at my workplace saying humara time acha tha, ek kheechke maaro aur hum chup ho jaate the, aajkal k bacho k sath wo bhi nahi Kar sakte. I have also heard of incidents where the grandparents staying in India visit their grandchildren staying abroad with their parents and if they shout on them or speak in a little higher tone, the kids call the police complaining that we r being harassed at home. That's when these elders say yeh in logon ka culture aisa hai. That's what I meant by culture. It is like saying kissing one's hand is okay in culture of a few whereas for others, it is not acceptable. And none of them r wrong in their places, nor do we have a right to say the other is wrong. I hope I made my point about culture clear.

And about being slapped in real life, of course I wouldn't like it. Who likes to get slapped? But I also understand two things. One, if someone slaps me, I should first try to understand why they shapped me and then react. If there's someone who is slapping me every now n then for no real good reason, obviously I won't like it nor will I tolerate it. But if someone exceptionally happens to slap me, I'll take a moment to analyse why they did what they did. If the reason is understandable, which includes my extreme mistake or exceptional emotional imbalance of the other person and if that person is really dear to me, I'll not say a word against it, because I know whoever might be wrong in that situation, we'll come around and patch up and discuss and sort things. When we r talking about adults, talking obviously is the best thing to do which people normally do. Slapping is a very rare case which can not be generalised can be justified or not depending on the situation. And the second thing I understand is if slapping someone is required, I won't think twice before doing that. And this will happen only when I have had enough from that person already and trust me, my patience level is extremely high in real life and it will take someone worse than mohini to force me to slap...but in case if I do, I'll not regret even once.

Phew...I m tired of this topic now 😂

Hope I could answer u well.

OMG that's a really long post honestly and I appreciate the fact that you actually spent so much time in responding to my post. I still disagree with a lot of things here but like you are even I am tired of this topic to be honest. But it was an eye opening experience. Take care and have a great time ahead.

Originally posted by: mili9

LONG POST ALERT ! People who don't like long posts, you have been duly warned😃.

Good morning girls/ boys !!!

IFLove ( not sure if this is how you would like to be addressed ), great writing, articulation and clarity of thoughts 👍🏼! I absolutely understand what you are saying even though I may not agree to what you are saying. Please pardon any inconsistencies, as I haven't watched the current episodes for a while now. Came here for a breather and got hooked on this topic.

First off, I applaud you for your courage to pick such a sensitive topic to discuss and be open and inviting for other ideas. You are my kind of girl/boy👍🏼, my dear. I don't accept anything in general terms, I always have a take on things presented and I understand you did the same here. So, love the effort trying to discuss, even though I am sure you knew that this could ignite a fire here.

From my personal perspective, I have a zero tolerance to any kind of slapping/ physical abuse👎🏼. This is my personal cut off, for right or wrong. This is because when you apply for general populations, a person who is in power/ advantaged position may be able to explain away the abuse to onlookers as disciplining or one time emotional outburst or controlling or whatever else. The victim of such abuse may be less articulate either because of age, lack of maturity, emotional stunting because of abuse or just plain constitution. I am not contradicting anything, I am just stating my reasons to believe what I believe in.

But mental and emotional abuse ka kya? The wounds don't show, the torturer can very easily take a moral and ethical high ground if the victim is humiliated enough not to disclose the abuse. Yehi hota hain even in physical abuse. The humiliation is unimaginable to the person who is slapped or physically hurt, I don't care what the circumstance is. I don't believe in raising my voice,even, when there is a debate or argument about certain things, as I feel it takes away from the problem at hand and focuses on the emotion of screaming. Let me give a simple example of humiliation. I am mother of a 11 month old puppy and a 9 yr old little girl. One of my cousins visiting me felt that my puppy needed to be disciplined in a certain way, he is after all an animal, who doesn't have skills to understand language. With a rolled magazine, he got ONE spank on his behind, you won't believe what this little puppy guy did to me. He would not look me in the eye for the whole day😲💔, gave me major attitude, won't leave husband alone ( whom he thought of as an equal to him before that, and didn't give two hoots when competing for my attention ). That truly humiliated him. Who says he is an animal? 😲He is my baby alright. But, what I mean to say is that physical punishment is humiliating no matter what.

Coming to this show however, the writers are not showing this slap to tell us that Moloy was offended and hence the infamy. The writers want to show that a bad, offensive woman needs to be controlled and a slap is how you do it. That woman deserved that slap BECAUSE she was offensive and that it is OK for her husband who has "full rights" on her to take that liberty. The writers are playing this for the masses. I would have been more receptive to the writers if they applied this to all offensive people . Then, I would have agreed to the fact that the writers are just showing a momentarily lapse in control because Moloy or somebody was sooo overwhelmed by emotion. Case in question: if both mommies have served the same physical punishment to a certain horrific character who had served emotional and physical torture to their respective children, I would have said the writers did really show nothing but momentary anger. Veena could have torn a certain character for what was doled out on her vulnerable young daughter. Mohini would have been well within her rights if she had torn a certain character to pieces for physically hurting her child and husband with an intent to kill. I don't know if they even knew how that character abused their respective children. Both the mothers' rage should have been many, many fold more than that of Moloy's anger about questioning his grandchild's paternity. But what did the cowardly writers do? They gave the character some grandiose, nonsensical rhetoric😡. When a bad, offensive woman can be slapped , why not a horrible, offensive guy? Why did he get honored as if he just set foot on Mars and back? This is why I don't buy this slap even if I twist myself into a pretzel.

But if you ask me is Moloy an abuser? My answer is NO. I hope I haven't confused you. Thank you for giving a platform for different perspectives and not shy away from tough topics and questions. I agree with the fact that our experiences, our background , our general outlook on life is what shapes our perspective. And these are very different for different people and that is OK and we/I have the patience to hear out other thoughts👍🏼

Have a great day !

Hi Mili 🤗 if I m not mistaken, r u the same girl who used to have special love for veer guy on sbrk forum?😉😂 I used to be a silent reader of ur posts. At that time too, most of the times I wouldn't agree with ur posts but I would enjoy reading them, it used to be fun to experience ur frustration and since then, I kinda know how intolerant u r!😂 So I m not really a girl like u, I m highly patient and tolerant n all that, but we definitely have some things in common too...like being outspoken and courageous and being true to ourselves🤗

Here too, our opinions don't really match but I too understand what u r trying to say and I totally agree. Yeah, I got a bit confused midway😂 but I understand the whole thing together. One thing we both agree on is any kind of abuse can cause equal trauma and slapping hasn't got some special trait. And about the show, well the complaints u have, we all have the same issues. But as I said in one comment of mine, this show is really not worth breaking ur head for. Today we r discussing pages about moloy's slapping and tomorrow he may go back to Mohini and try to please her and do his normal harkatein. I was only offended by the word "abuse" being used for moloy and hence I wrote this long ass post. Because like u said lastly, moloy is anything but an abuser.

It is really so good to have healthy discussions on conflicting opinions. Idk if I should say this or not, but I like to read Ur posts n hence would like to have u here more, but then idk if I should cause u more headache coming here in this difficult place😂 Take care!🤗

Originally posted by: IFLove

Hi Mili 🤗 if I m not mistaken, r u the same girl who used to have special love for veer guy on sbrk forum?😉😂 I used to be a silent reader of ur posts. At that time too, most of the times I wouldn't agree with ur posts but I would enjoy reading them, it used to be fun to experience ur frustration and since then, I kinda know how intolerant u r!😂 So I m not really a girl like u, I m highly patient and tolerant n all that, but we definitely have some things in common too...like being outspoken and courageous and being true to ourselves🤗

Here too, our opinions don't really match but I too understand what u r trying to say and I totally agree. Yeah, I got a bit confused midway😂 but I understand the whole thing together. One thing we both agree on is any kind of abuse can cause equal trauma and slapping hasn't got some special trait. And about the show, well the complaints u have, we all have the same issues. But as I said in one comment of mine, this show is really not worth breaking ur head for. Today we r discussing pages about moloy's slapping and tomorrow he may go back to Mohini and try to please her and do his normal harkatein. I was only offended by the word "abuse" being used for moloy and hence I wrote this long ass post. Because like u said lastly, moloy is anything but an abuser.

It is really so good to have healthy discussions on conflicting opinions. Idk if I should say this or not, but I like to read Ur posts n hence would like to have u here more, but then idk if I should cause u more headache coming here in this difficult place😂 Take care!🤗

Yes, the very same, IFLove. Did I aggravate you too😔 then? Burrrrnn..... intolerant😭? Just kidding😃. But, I like a good discussion any day, especially topics such as this which are not clear cut. More so explaining where I am coming from and understanding other people's thought process, NOT necessarily agreeing, but understanding for sure.

@ Braveheartdoc..... ( not sure how you would like to be addressed ), not to digress too much and irritate people here. More power to you, my friend to work in a hostile environment when the going gets tough for everybody ❤️It is soo, very, very concerning and scary to hear and witness incidents of mob violence on health care professionals. I hope the law just has more teeth to it not to tolerate and put our health care professionals through that horror when they are trying so hard to make a difference in peoples lives and health. 👍🏼I hope your facility supports you fully.

Originally posted by: mili9

Yes, the very same, IFLove. Did I aggravate you too😔 then? Burrrrnn..... intolerant😭? Just kidding😃. But, I like a good discussion any day, especially topics such as this which are not clear cut. More so explaining where I am coming from and understanding other people's thought process, NOT necessarily agreeing, but understanding for sure.

@ Braveheartdoc..... ( not sure how you would like to be addressed ), not to digress too much and irritate people here. More power to you, my friend to work in a hostile environment when the going gets tough for everybody ❤️It is soo, very, very concerning and scary to hear and witness incidents of mob violence on health care professionals. I hope the law just has more teeth to it not to tolerate and put our health care professionals through that horror when they are trying so hard to make a difference in peoples lives and health. 👍🏼I hope your facility supports you fully.

Hey Mili just saw you mentioned my name here🤗

I'm Manisha and everyone addresses me by this name. You may call me by this name too....

Regarding my work place yes we have a good security systems but despite that incidents do happen. That's a part of my field as I deal with families extremely stressed bcoz of life threatening situations. So we've got used to these and are trying to prevent such incidents as far as possible. But yes security and admin support comes into play more often than not.

@mili , perfectly summed up👏 Beautiful post..that's exactly what I was trying to say.. it's a humiliating action

Slapping on the face is the most insulting form of punishment and so, I would never justify or advocate it, evenif I myself have done it with my siblings & son and i myself have been at the receiving end at times. At the same time, I would never call the one who resort to it as a form of punishment when he/she loses their senses, as an abuser. There are 2 reasons for it. First one is that, though it is insulting to the one who receives it, the intention of the person who resorted to it, is clear. They do/did it keeping in mind the disciplining of the other party so that they will know where they went wrong. Second reason is that slapping on the face is no way serious than an emotional slap that can be done using hurting/insulting words & actions. I would say an emotional slap can hurt more deeply and will take more time to heal than in the case of a physical one. So, in short whether it be physical or emotional slap, let us try our best to be in control; but in case it happens between loved ones, let us try to understand the situation than judging or blaming the persons involved in it.

In Moloy's case, though Mohini deserved it, i see it as, more of the CVs trying to whitewash Moloy after reading the feedbacks on how insensitive he was in sending Priyu out of BB and not checking about her & the Sharmas after that. But the truth is that, to people like me this act is not enough to get him redeemed, for forgetting his best friend's daughter & family, just like that. Even in this episode, he sounded more like AnuPre's kid's grandfather more than a father to Priyu. So, Moloy still stands unredeemed to me. 😔