As Rishab entered the motel room, he had butterflies in his stomach. He cursed himself for being nervous about seeing Prerna again. Lord knows, he thought, I saw her in dreams daily. Nevertheless, he did not seem to be able to help it. He felt like he had when he had stolen his first kiss from the neighbor's daughter. That thought brought a smile to his face and soon he was laughing aloud at the memory of the foolish kiss he had taken.
One of his friend had told him that after you kissed a girl, you were a grown up. To a five-year-old boy, to gain a kiss from the "other" was worth it, if that meant that he would be a grownup. It had taken him five days to decide whom to steal a kiss from and taken five more days to finally steal the kiss out of the little girl. He had made it into such a big deal imagining himself being turned into a big boy like his daddy. In the end, to the dismay of the five year old, nothing had happened. When he had finally gathered enough courage and kissed the little girl in her cheek, to his astonishment, the sweet little girl had fisted her fingers, hit him hard on the nose, and ran away. He had cried all the way home with blood flowing from his nose. His parents had been concerned when they had seen their baby's condition. However, by the time they had cleaned his nose and changed his clothes, he had wailed out what had happened. His parents had laughed until tears had flown and they had both shaken their head and ruffled his hair.
The sweet memory banished his tenseness about Prerna for maybe about three seconds. Then his stomach tightened with dread about his first view of Prerna. The first year after she had been convicted had been the worst. Every night he would think about her telling how she had loved Anu Basu and talked himself to thinking about how much she had hurt him and how much he had hated her. In the morning though, he would always wake up feeling around for Prerna.
Not all of the year had been bad though; he remembered how Sam had held him after his last glance of Prerna. He had not meant to cry his eyes out in front of a woman he barely knew, but she had been the only around. The whole time, she had held him and whispered soothing words. After he had composed himself, he had tried to distance himself, but she would not let him. The thought brought a smile to his mouth. She looked so serene, but she had the tenacity to bring any man down to his knees. He had tired to distance himself from her the first week after the crying bout but she had called him enough and badgered enough that he had ended up agreeing to meet her for coffee.
The first ten minutes had been very awkward because he remembered that the last time she had seen him was in tears and she was a virtual stranger. Then she had looked at him with her solemn eyes and told him that she understood his pain. When she had said that, he had felt a surge of anger at her because there was no way she could understand. He had loved Prerna so much even knowing she felt nothing of the kind and never would. Maybe he had been deluding himself about how he could take it in stride if she still loved Anurag Basu. The last few years though he had thought that maybe she felt at least something from him, but when she had told Anurag in her last day how she had loved him all her life, the pain had been so fierce that it was a surprise that he hadn't fell to the ground. It had taken all his strength to make it to his room, but he had done it. When he had finally managed to reach his room, he had sat on the sofa and remembered all the moments that had meant so much to him and thought if Prerna even remembered them. When she had come to ask to send her out, he had turned away from her because he did not know how he could face her. The fool that he was, though, he had to see her one last time so he had gone to see her. The last image he knew would have to last him a time.
Nevertheless, for some reason, he had been curious about how Sam knew what he was feeling and he had asked her. Never had he expected that, with that question, he had opened the door to such a friendship that he did not know could exist.
"I know what it's like to love a person with everything you have and not have the person love you back," Sam had replied to the question.
"What do you mean, Mrs. Basu?" He had asked.
"Sam, please. I heard the same thing that you heard between Anu and Prerna. I want you to know that you are not alone in the pain and that if you need something you can always call me." With those words, she had walked out.
After that, they always managed to meet each other for a year just for coffee and a sympathetic year. When a year later, she had told him that she and Basu were heading for London, he had decided to hand over the company to Prem and Tushar and move to the United States. It was the one place that he hoped that he could finally be free of Prerna's ghost. When he had watched her walk away the last time before she left for London, he had felt so lost, but they had not lost touch over the years. In fact, they had talked to each other almost weekly and now she was one of the most important people in his life. From her, he had learned the strength to carry on even when you were burdened by heartache. Sometimes he thought about how stupid Basu was not to realize what a treasure that he had, but then Basu had always loved Prerna just like him. Only, he thought, Prerna loved Basu back.
As he looked over the papers that the manager had given him, he thought about his upcoming meeting with his wife. Rishab could not help but think if she thought of him at all. He hoped that Tushar and Prem had managed to keep the company fine. When he had decided to give the company away, he had written the letter to his family explaining why he wanted to leave even though he had explained them in letter. He had sent them money through the company. Prem was the one he had given the letter of him forfeiting him company because he was sure that Tushar would not agree to him leaving.
But as he looked over the company review, he literally saw red. Rishab forgot all the thought about Prerna as he thought of certain someone he wanted to kill.
Book Talk
Anupamaa
