========================================
I for a change take a side line for the time being
rose
===================================================
Part 4
Pushkar was sitting in his cabin. He thought how things become uneasy so fast. He used to mingle with Rashi without any reservations now what he feels is only to run away from her. He thought he doesn't feel anything better than giving a life to her. But how he can love her…? The acid marks Pia left will never leave him…
It was around 12.45, Rano, Sahil and Pushkar are waiting for Rashi around the table where they always sit. Rashi was lost in thoughts… sitting in her room… thinking what she did? How Pushkar can ever love her when he loves Pia so much? What I will do now? Hey, Bhagvan, why I become a burden to all in this world. First it was for daddy, now … she felt so unworthy that others are sacrificing too much for her…
Pushkar understood and he got up and went to the service desk and dialed her room number thru intercom. She awake from the thoughts picked up the phone.
Pushkar: Rashi, what are you doing there, we are waiting, come fast.
Rashi : ji, sorry, just coming
Pushkar frowned at the word
"ji" and understood she already is in a pathetic condition. Normally they talks around what happened in their life freely and knows each other clearly by now. And it will be difficult for him or her to change so fast… she came down and he as if nothing happened led her to the table. They as usual talked and ate. After lunch Rano and Sahil went together to their room, Rashi sat there a little bewildered. As if she is seeing him for first time. He decided not to show any difference to her at any cost.
Pushkar: what were you thinking there?
Rashi: ji, (again) I was sending a reply to a friend's mail, sorry
Pushkar: when did you start using emails, BTW…
He knows she is lying. He knows that despite of being an expert in computer she never likes to use internet, she was so reserved.. She looked pale and got up fast to walk to the lift. In the lift there was only little space, too crowded, he got into first and then she. While starts moving up she lost the balance and he held her by the two shoulders, he remained like that, a re-assurance for her, she felt it. In the first floor most of the other staff got down and they moved back to the corner to allow other entry. Pushkar looked at her through the mirror, she was looking down, he pressed her shoulder again, she looked up into his eyes, he passed a quiet smile to her. Both of them got down and walked to their rooms. She was about to close her room when he stopped the door and entered. He went and sat just opposite her chair, she stood in full tensed.
Pushkar: I don't know in what condition you are in now. Chopped, minced or crushed?
Rashi: ji
Pushkar: this is what I asked, from where this "ji" came, are you making me a grey man already, array I just two years elder than you..
She kept quiet… she know he is trying to make things easy for them..
Pushkar: look, I am at least a good friend of you. And let us start with that. No need for this panic. We are to stay as we were till yesterday throughout our life..
Now she got shocked, she looked up to him, she understood he just sacrificed but couldn't accept her as his wife, another lonely life… her eyes welled up with tears
Pushkar: Rashi, what..? you crying..?
He got up and went to her. Sat on the table in front of her. He pressed his hand over her and asked
"why?" . she looked up and told
"I know it is difficult for you to love another one like me, but why did you agree if to remain…?" ohhh, hell, now only he caught it. He laughed loudly,
"Rashi, I didn't mean to live like Ranveer, you see, I want to give you time to adjust with this sudden change of scenario. In fact you know what I feel about Pia, and I hope you will not think that I am still in that illusion in my life. No, Rashi, only I hope I could forget my own pain. ". He stopped a while. She really wants to put a hand over his shoulder, but didn't dare to do so. He again looked at her.
"I want you to get along with me as friendly as ever. We don't want to repeat the history. In fact we are the two left alone parties. We have only respect for each other. Love will make its own way in our life." He got up and walked to the door. Just turned around and said.
"Tomorrow we have to leave for Mt. Abu for three days. I have to pick up something from the shop, will you help. I will wait you down at 3.00; I had permission from Jai Sir". He just walked out.
Rashi stood there lost. She thought may be I will have a life which I can't dare to dream now. She started to work again. At 3.00 Pushkar called her at her door and she got up and silently followed him. Jai was just walking out of his room with Aditya and saw them. Jai was thinking these two still are not able to get out of their own pain. He looked at his friend and smiled.
Pushkar took her to a shop, in fact he always go to another one regularly with Pia and he wanted to avoid it. they entered, and head towards the gents wing.
Rashi: what you want, casuals or formals?
Pushkar: (he looked surprisingly at her) casuals…
Rashi: shall I pick some t-shirts for you, you will look good in that.
Pushkar thought, Pia always wanted designer ones and she never thought it is comfort one want from wearing a dress. Rashi gone through the piles and put a hand on a light green with black stripe-pattern on which accidentally he also put his hand. They didn't notice its coincidence. They took it talking and picked few others also, then went to pick jeans. She asked him to go and try it. Pushkar came in a few minutes in that green one, asked her is it ok, she as for the first time she looks at him,
"you are so nice in it". He thought of Pia again, he was sure she would have thrown that piece sarcastically to a corner and walked out of the shop. He came back with those and gave it for packing, by then she gave a basket with some vests, handkerchiefs, belts and a cap. She held a jacket in her other hand and gave to him. He was thinking, if Pia was this she would have asked why you want to buy vests. What a difference. Destiny, he thought.
He took her to the ladies wing, she told she got enough dress and
no need, just some handkerchiefs.. He told her now you don't have to wear all these sarees or churidars, be relaxed in casuals and he want to see her in casuals as well. She first resisted a lot then gave up.
Morning after pooja they all had breakfast together. Rashi wearing a jeans and white shirt, was about to get up then Pushkar told,
"Rashi you take massi and dadi down, I will be waiting there". Then only she understood how considerating he is , he correctly got the point that she is in tension to go with him alone. She went and got blessings from Aditya and Jai and walked out to the door with Massi and Dadi.
They sat together in the plain while the elder ladies together. They reached the work spot and there was only a small cottage they could arrange for them. But Rashi was very happy, and others too. They were especially happy to see the place where Bani grown up. Massi and Dadi went with the site seeing to temples and some houses that Bani had informed they will visit. Rashi and Pushkar were busy with the job. She has come out as a real professional at work, that at times she rise to a level that even Pushkar thought why he didn't think that way.
Evening they went and sat in a bench near the cottage. There was a small garden. The servant came and told the dinner is ready. They went inside; to her surprise she found only non-veg there.
"oh, no, Massi and I are vegetarians, what is there for us?" the cook told he didn't know. She went inside the kitchen and started making the tomato fry and salad and came back. Pushkar was thinking this is another
"Bani in making". He told this loudly that Massi and Dadi smiled. They told he is lucky and enjoy a life with give and take way. He looked at Rashi; she was all blushed and looked at him with a shy smile.
Night, Massi and Dadi went inside the only one bedroom leaving the two to settle in the coaches there. He went and took blankets and pillows for them. The servant asked permission to leave and they nodded. Pushkar started looking into some files. Rashi went inside and bought a jug of water and kept it beside him on the tea-table. He looked at her surprisingly how she know he need water at night…she came back and asked him to remove his shoes and socks… he was like OMG. He sits motionless, that she had to bent down and do it herself. She took it to the footwear stand, and went outside to the verandah and sat there on a wooden bench. He continued his reading. After sometime he understood that she is dozing… he could make it from there. He just got up and went to her. He sat near her and caught around her shoulder.
"do you really need to sit and sleep like this?" she was all blushed. They sat for a while in silent. He asked
"are you feeling difficult with me sleeping inside, if so I could sleep here in the verandah". She suddenly turned and caught his hands
"no, Pushkar, I trust you. And moreover we are already man and woman in our mind. I was just enjoying the cool air and waiting you to finish the reading."
He
"why do you wait?" she didn't have any answer. She looked away to infinity. He pulled her to him and told,
"How nervous are you now?" she told him, she never had a man around her and only feel little shy that she will be alright soon. He understood. He tightened his hands around her and told,
"I am your man, the destiny made for you, and will you please come inside and sleep before I lose my control?" she turned and looked at him, she leaned on to his chest and arms clutched around his neck.
"I don't know whether I deserve you, because none really liked me" sobbing and catching her breather in between,. He said,
"look, how could you say it now when I feel so much in love with you like this, haan. Never say something like that. I need you in my life, you know how empty it is…" he kept her head a little up and looked into her eyes. He got up suddenly and pulled her and pushed through the door. He knows he will loose his control and he doesn't want to scare her out. He closed the door and they both slept in the coaches.
Bani received them back at home. Everyone was happy seeing them together. The marriage took place in a temple and there was a grant party in the Walia house. Bani was running and running and she was so happy. There was a half page blow up in the newspapers congratulating them. Everyone was sitting around in the hall and guests are gone. One by one they got up and put the couple in their room. Massi and Dadi was pulling their legs. Rashi was still not have come with the terms that this is really happening to her. Before Bani left her in their room she hugged Bani tightly and said
"thank you". Bani was all smiling and told her,
"Rashi as every human you too deserve a better life, enjoy and be his woman, he will give you the world for you." Bani was thinking I am supposed to be in her shoes if Pia didn't elope with him. But it was just an infatuation. Reality is different, I was born for Jai, only for him. She came to their room just to see an impatient Jai who is waiting for her. He wanted to ask loudly
"well. Who is really the bride"
Pushkar came in and saw a ready to fall Rashi with shyness. He told her "
hey, what is this? " he know he is experienced, the most experienced man, once even thought that no one on this earth has a married life like him and saw himself it was just a card-made castle.
"Rashi…" he went near her and asked her
.."come on, look at me… or I will think…" she turned suddenly and stopped him keeping hands on his lips. He took her hands and placed a kiss on it looking at her eyes. Gently pulled her to him
"ouch, OMG, how can someone come near you..?" she in all wonder .. he
"this is too much, for a change why can't we put into some casuals , I bet seeing you in this I feel like I am sitting with some wrapped gift packet…" he removed her head net and placed a kiss on forehead. He helped her removing her ornaments and they both changed into their night gowns.
Pushkar came and saw Rashi is still standing clutching to the back of the dresser chair. He went near her. Turned her around, looked into her eyes. She was like ready to collapse… he took her hands and entwined with his.
"in fact, you looked so beautiful in that dress… I couldn't take my eyes from you… hey, when you started to smile like that… I want to see it everyday in my life.. " there was still shyness and hesitation, but they felt somewhere at some point that there is really no two of them, but just only one…
Pushkar had totally a different experience… the immature infatuation he anticipated as love and this well polished love… only took so much time to realize that there remains love for those who thinks we are left alone as misfits to the world around… for Rashi it was something she scared to dream of. She made a home for him with her quiet and polite manners… she always kept the options open for him which made him move forward freely. He could come home without tensions or fears facing someone who will eat him up for anything or everything… he could sleep.. the feeling of love… she understood what is that caring all about… she never thought she is important to anyone like she feel now…
Edited by rose467 - 19 years ago
Music Corner
Current Affairs
Cricket
Arjun
