swati tempted me to write and so i did so its not my fault, blame her.
NOTHINGNESS
I thought i had every thing
For life was as gud as it could get
For one second
I thought i could be anything
For i had wat it takes
For one second
I thought i would be winning
For i had u
And then death snatched u from me
now nothing is left except nothingness...............
Bani dixit was in her video game parlour, kids were all around her, playing the games she has picked out for her shop and having fun, bani was smiling looking at all of them having fun but her eyes did not twinkle as they once used to and her eyes searched every kids face in search of her child's face.........and she once again found herself going back into the memory lane
She had been 18 and foolish, believed in fairytales and prince charming and when she thought she had met the prince charming, she fell into the illusion of love and was easily led into believing about the fairy tale life that the prince charming painted out for her and believed him when he promised eternal love.
It didn't take long for all the illusions to be shattered, and bani realized life was no fairytale and prince charming belonged in books only and there was nothing called love it was just a word that was used by people as a means to an end, she had understood that love was nothing but a word just an empty word and she had learned all this, the hard way, when she had found herself 18 alone and pregnant.
She had fought with the world to keep the baby, when the world had suggested that it was for the best to abort it, no she had not been willing to let go of the precious life forming inside her, it did not matter that the father of the child was a scum who did not want her, bani dixit was resolute to bring her child into to world single handily and so came screaming into the world beautiful Ganga Dixit.
She had been so beautiful so tiny and soft so perfect, her eyes were big and innocent and she was so undemanding and when bani used to give her feed, she would put one of her chubby baby hands on bani's chest and used to keep looking at bani's face with those big innocent eyes and bani had fallen in love once again, had no idea it was possible to love anything, anyone, the way you love a child. She would watch her sleep for hours, so thrilled, so awed that she had come from her and then it was all snatched away from her once again, ganga had been just 11 weeks old. Bani had woken up in the morning, surprised that ganga had slept through the night. Her breasts were full of milk. She had reached down into the crib and had picked her up. At first she didn't understand, didn't believe'and then she had screamed, Ganga had died, doctors had termed it as a crib death there was no explanation for it and bani had felt like dying herself when she thought about how she had been sleeping when she could have saved her child and now she was left with nothing but nothingness'''''''.
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