CHAPTER 1
Smoke was all i could see, and tears were all i could shed. those sky scrapping flames always made me feel weird and as a reflex i opened my eyes. that dream..that horrible dream that pays me a visit every night just wouldnt leave my mind. i blinked my eyes few times and soon my blury vision was crystal clear. i peeped out of my window...it was raining. a small smile crept over my face, such a scene was rare in a city like delhi. i tried to get up and found myself cocooned in my blanket, the sudden drop in the temperature and the cooler's magic just made my room as cold as alaska. i got up and went straight to the washroom to freshen up. today was last day of school before the summer vacations and this pre-monsoon shower just made it better. i didnt know if vacations were something to be happy about or the last day of school worth enjoying, i didnt have friends and this always made my every vacation as dull as grey. ignoring the nostalgia that crept over my head and i came down to greet my mother. i descended down the stairs and expected my mom to be in the kitchen preparing something delicious for my lunch in school, she always did that. i took in a deep breath to savor the watering taste but there nothing but the sweet smell of the mud mixing with the rain water. before i could think of anything else i heard my mom call me
Nandini...i turned out with a smile only to encounter my mom's worried face
whats wrong mom?why r u so...worried?and no tiffin today?
she passed me a sad smile and then came near me and held my left hand and caressed it. this was uncanny...mom never did that to me
would u mind if we had a talk?that serious look on my mom's face was not something i would have appreciated early morning but her eyes...those eyes screamed out to me and told me something was terribly wrong. yeah of course i replied. we sat on the dining table and looked at each other and i could see my mom trying hard not to look into my eyes. "mom i think we need to hurry otherwise i would get late for school " dont worry honey...u're not going to school today. not going to school?why would she do that?
why mom? its raining thats why? and she just nodded meekly to my question and slipped an envelope to me. i looked at her with questioning eyes and she gestured me to open it up. i picked that envelope up and opened it. it had some kind of a ticket for dhanaulti, what was this place? " mom its some kind of a ticket for dha..dhau..." dhanaulti she replied.
and in a blink my eyes twinkled..."are we going to this place for a vacation?" it had been a long time since we had gone out of delhi to enjoy our vacations..mom's job and financial stability never really helped us to go out.
St Georges Academy is a well known school which was established by the irish brothers in dhanaulti in the year 1889. Dhanaulti my dear is a hill station..and i fear... " mom why r u explaining me what dhanaulti is and what do i have to do about whatever school was established by whoever" u have everything to do with this nandini coz u r shifting to dhanaulti
i am shifting to dhanaulti?what?mom what the hell is this?and why are we shifting anyway? u didnt hear me right sweetheart we are'nt, u are shifting...
the moment she said that i could feel myself choke...what did she mean by that?
"what do u mean by we are'nt u are...u're my MOTHER, u will accompany me right?"
no dear,these are some papers, i bought a house in ur name in dhanaulti an...
YOU ARE ABANDONING ME? what? no dear, m just trying to make ur future bright...and a home for yourself, i thought thats the best gift i could give to my daughter 16th birthday...its the best gift that any teenager would want..
" but u know i dont...u know i wont leave you...i cant believe this mom..u are pushing me away...
no my honey, its for ur own good, and i have decided to take the job in mumbai that pulkit offered, i will earn double there and would regularly send u money..
shock would be an understatement to explain what i felt at that moment...
"please mom, there is no need to act that u r doing this for anybody but yourself, i have hated dad all these years because he abandoned us for his new found love and because he wanted to live his life to the fullest and right now i can see you doing the same thing..or even worse..he abandoned us but u r clearly disowning me on my face, why because u want to live happily with your boyfriend..mom i accepted him because i didnt want to loose you but you mom you just... enough nandini, i've heard enough,m not abandoning you, m doing this for your own good, St Georges will improve your personality, it will help you dear.. help me!help in what ways mom?m perfectly fine... oh really? look at yourself nandini just look at yourself..i have never seen you going out with friends like normal teenagers, or dating a guy or something, u r nothiing but a living corpse and i dont want you to ruin your life. do you know what potential you have...you are something that you could have never even imagined and that place is the only place that can make you realise this ok...tomorrow morning is your train and i i dont want any arguements on this topic now, u r leaving and that is final...
her final words made me feel dizzy, she accused me of not being a normal girl and brought out the topic she knew most affected me. and the worse part was, she had bought a house there and got me admissioned in that school which clearly meant that she had planned this all, it was all planned, and not just months but for years because her financials could not have allowed her to buy a home i just a year,she had been planning of disowning me. i kept staring at her trying to drink my anguish and tears and just ran towards my room and stopped just near the stairs, i looked into her eyes, i was leaving tomorrow and i wanted her to know what she had done to me by doing this...i hated dad for abandoning me, and i dont know what to feel for you for disowning me, but if only you could tell mom...what wrong did i do that both of you decided to leave me...and you not just decided but had bloody planned it for years, what wrong did i do? and without waiting for her reply i ran towards my room and banged it, i could feel my throat hurting, i wanted to cry and my blury vision was doing no good to me from helping me not to cry...i could feel my body heat up and it felt as if i was burning, i had always had this problem, i would feel as if m burning everytime i was angry, but my skin would turn ice cold, i never understood this phenomenon, and frankly never liked it coz it always reminded me what my mom just called me-anbormal. no doctor could understand it. that burning sensation was getting more fierce with every second and i ran inside the washroom and stood under the shower to calm my heating yet cold body...my life was going to change and i did'nt like it, because no change in my life ever did me any good and this time i had a feeling, it would turn worse...
Edited by deepanksha - 9 years ago
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