Jokes Forum - Page 91

Cooking my own meals would be an adventure, not a punishment. I wouldn't have to explain why I'm wearing "that" shirt with "those" pants....

JOIN THE FERTILIZER CLUB - FREE! This letter is being sent to you because we know that you are critically interested in the condition of your

Retire Aged Personnel Early As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for the Department areas, we are forced to cut our number of

This is the road to enlightenment, revised... 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do...

Old tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. Businesses, however, often try...

A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out. A pig's orgasm...

Proper Diskette Care instruction guide... Never leave diskettes in the drive, as the data can leak out of the disk and corrode the inner

Here are some ways to really annoy people big time... Sing the Batman theme incessantly. Specify that your drive-through order is ...

30 fun things to do when driving... 1. Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit. 2. Roll down your windows and blast

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. 2. A jumper...

COLLECTION OF FUNNY LEAVE LETTERS This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of India

Least Romantic: Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar

"Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture." -- Winston Churchill "Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a

Q. How do you confuse a bank teller? A. Give him a bag of M M's and tell him to alphabetize them. Q. Why is a BMW a banker's favorite...

You know you're from the Twin Cities if... You measure distance in minutes. Weather is 80% of your conversation. Snow tires came...

President George W. Bush Quotes of Stupidity 10) "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." —LaCrosse, Wis.,...

Naughty Jokes I One day old man Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the Illinois State Fair. There is this man selling plane rides in his

Fine - This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe...

Some self-evident truths about pets... Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it forever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the

Borat had international impact Borat has made it into a list of the most powerful men in Britain. The comedy character - aka Sacha Baron

'The Turban Saved My Life' Bollywood's iconic actor Amitabh Bachchan is thanking an elaborate Indian headgear for saving his life after...

Super Tonio and friend Baby, You're A Big Boy! They call him 'Super Tonio', a new-born baby who weighs in at an enormous 14.5lbs and is...

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However,

A lady walks into the library. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, - "This is the WORST book I've ever

1.There were 2 mosquitoes watching blood donors giving their blood."It's not fair," said one to the other."They're happy to lie down and let...

Knock Knock Who's there? Acid! Acid who? Acid down and be quiet! Knock Knock Who's there? Ada! Ada who? Ada burger for lunch! Knock

Knock Knock Who's there? Aardvark! Aardvark who? Aardvark a hundred miles for one of your smiles! Knock Knock Who's there? Aaron! Aaron...

Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground? A: Because you can't bury them in trees! Q: Why did the poor dog chase his own tail? A: He was

Where do ants go for their holidays? Frants! What do you call an ant who skips school? A truant! What do you get if you cross some ants...

Man: "How's your history paper coming?" Woman: "Well, my history professor suggested that I use the Internet for research, and it's been very...