Job Jokes

Q. How do you confuse a bank teller?
A. Give him a bag of M&M's and tell him to alphabetize them.

Q. Why is a BMW a banker's favorite car?
A. Because he can't spell Porsche.

Q. What's the difference between Xerox and the Titanic?
A. The Titanic had a band.

Q. What does Santa call his wife at tax time?
A. A dependent Claus.

Q. What do you call a credit union volunteer in a room full of bank directors?
A. A superior being.

Q. What is the difference between big foot and a socially responsible banker?
A. Big foot has been sighted.

Anti-trust laws should be approached with exactly that attitude.

If bankers can count, how come the average bank has 10 windows and only four tellers?

Robots - Our Steel Collar Workers

Employer: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."

Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

Reasons to stay at work all night...

1. Act out your version of a company takeover.

2. Find a way to change everyone's password to "chrysanthemum".

3. Around 3:20am, play connect-the-dots with lights still on in other office buildings. Keep going until you see a small woodland creature.

4. Sneaking in the boss's desk could land you an unexpected promotion.

5. Draw stick people in all the landscape pictures on the walls, and in the morning, be the first to point out "what a terrible thing that someone did this to such beautiful works of art".

6. Go into the other gender's bathroom without fear of being caught.

7. Run up and down the hallways screaming, hoping security will come so you can have someone to talk to.

8. Leave prank messages on the CEO's voice mail, using someone else's extension of course.

9. Finally, a chance to live out a dream and pretend to be your boss.

10. Elevator surfing, yeee haaa!