Can wives in a polygamous marriage be friends? - Page 11

Originally posted by: ---Khushi---

i dont know why guys, but remembered this post out of nowhere...

Originally posted by: mandyg

i do not think a very healthy relation is possible..in the show whatever ruq is experiencing is very normal, for her to accept jodha as her husband's beloved will be the most painful acceptance, but she will have no choice but to live with it! in polygamy the first one feels the deepest hurt but the ones that trail after, maybe the lower ones who do not get much importance after being used a few times might become sukh dukh waali friends and gang up against the most privileged one but again we cannot call that a healthy friendship..jealousy in such type of atmosphere is unstoppable! indeed a sad scenario!

Originally posted by: Rashmi81

Very good topic.Really it makes us think a lot,specially for us like who are wives in 21st century and have our husband's attention exclusive for us.If we are living in a nuclear family ,with only the husband and kids then there is no sharing of attention as opposed to joint one where there are other family members too.

But relationship with other family members is diff as compared to another wife.Here with another wife you HAVE TO share husband's time,whether you like it or not you HAVE TO look at him giving the other wife his love,you HAVE TO accept him going to her in the night,you HAVE TO accept other wive's kids as your husband's.Every time you will be facing this insecurity that what if he starts liking her more.

This all led to Kaykeyi asking Dashrath to send Ram to exile,Krishna also had to do balancing between Rukumani and Satyabhama,If the ladies belonging to our religious scriptures do this ,then what can we expect from others.

In the earlier times too ,queens used to kill each other's kids to see their own son to become heir.When real sisters also face jealousy issues and sibling rivalry what too expects from Sautens.

Imagine our husband praising our neighbor every day,we will take it sportingly for 2 to 3 days and then one day we will put him in his place.Here it's not Padosan but the other wife of our husband ,who too also have rights on him like us.

Then Indian ladies are more emotionally attached to their husbands and for most of them he is life especially if we take earlier days,So sharing him is very difficult.

Why only RuKu ,I felt very bad for Jagat gosain when Salim went after Noorjahan.I am talking about this serial Noorjahan which I saw few days back on YouTube,Here Jalal tries to balance between his wives but Salim totally neglected other wives,Jagat was very lonely and in serial it is shown where she says my baby will take revenge of my condition.Poor girl she was,her husband went to other woman and her kid was snatched from her.Her condition was worst than Ruku.Jagat being the right choice for empress after death of Manbai ,as now Khurram was the heir ,did she get her due?

Originally posted by: elasingh

Very interesting post Khushi...👏...Infact one of the best post I have read ..

I dont really have seen polygamy in real life except on TV and mostly in mythological serials...JA is the first serial which made fully made an impact on me...I still cant forget that scene of earlier episode where many of his wives are waiting for him and trying to get his attention and trying to touch him...I was totally shocked...Completely shocked and that turned me off Jallu for months...

Now after months of seeing polygamous set up I look at it more kindly...I guess these women have different mind set up...They are brought up this way...Since childhood they have been lectured abt male supremacy and being just a good wife and producing children...they have accepted it as their fate ...beside what can they really do? Can they divorce their husbands and live alone...Certainly not possible in 16th century...and I dont think monetary reasons are the only reasons for women to stay in these marriages...I have seen harem and not all women lived in luxury ...I think social security and the respect which went with the married status as well as financial benefits made them stay in these marriages...

I dont think these woman were always friends or always enemies...They all needed each other for emotional and various other supports compensating for an absent husband...Obviously along with their physical needs their emotional needs were also neglected , and they either learned to live with it or tried to get support from each other...

Originally posted by: myviewprem

feel very sorry for jodh bai of all mughal ladies- the only child given off to ruqaiah when it was 6 days baby

then husband also found love in nur jahan and forgot her

no husband no son although they are in front of eyes

and her empress position given to nur jahan after a few years when salim married nur jahan such great injustice to her

and that khurram also was more loyal to ruqaiah and nur jahan than her

all of jehangir nur jahan potraits have usually khurram with them

jehangir had khurram and nur jahan, khurram had mumtaz and ruqaiah but jodha had no one

she must have died of heart break only poor lady

what is use if jehangir and khurram were saddened by her death or built great tombs after death or mourned for her. All that mattered was how they both treated her when alive not what they did or felt after death

and yes wives can become friends for common causes against a cruel husband or against another powerful wife or if many wives are cousins they can be friends like man bai, jodha were friends or salima and ruqaiah would be friends as cousins