SS: ~Ehsaas~updatd chptr 14 on page 81 - Page 14

(he was all lost in his dilemma...when a voice drew him out of his emotional trauma...)

"kya soch rahe ho jalal??"

(jalal looked up to the owner of the voice but became astonished to see himself standing in front of him...it was another jalal dressed in a red outfit...perhaps a part of his conscience that was visible to him now...a part of his soul that belonged to jodha...he dint realized but this was none other than his heart)

Jalal(heart):- are jalal...itne chauk kyu gaye tum mujhe dekhker...mai bhi tumhare hi zism ka ek hissa hu...ek esa hissa jiske wajood ko manne se tum aaj tak inkaar karte aaye ho...mai tumhara dil hu jalal...(jalal was completely shocked...he continues)...waise tum soch kya rahe the jalal...jodha begum ke bare me??...yehi soch rahe the na ke agar is baar bhi wo begunaah nikli...to tum kya karoge...waise agar esa hua to isme koi badi baat nahi hai jalal...kyuki aaj se pehle jab bhi tumne unhe kasurwaar samjha hai...chahe wo ruqqaiya begum ke humal girne ka mamla ho yaa khud unke humal se hone ka...har baar...har baar unka daman paak saaf nikla hai jalal...lekin mujhe tajjub hai...ke tumne apni pichli galtiyo se kuch bhi nahi sikha...tum un per itni aasani se shaq kaise kar sakte ho jalal...kaise bhul gaye tum ke ye wohi jodha begum hai... jinhone tumhari jaan bachayi thi...ye wohi jodha begum hai jinhone tumhe riyaya ki nazro me uthaya...tumhe unse rubru karwaya tha...jis insaan ne aavam ki izzat tumhe taufe me di ho...wo tumhari tauhin karne ke bare me kaise soch sakta hai...tumne ek baar bhi unka pehlu sunne ki koshish nahi ki...unhe apni baat rakhne ka mauka tak nahi diya tumne jalal...kya yehi hai tumhara insaaf??

(jalal was completely flabbergasted by his sudden appearance...when an another voice drew his attention towards him...it was again him...another jalal dressed in a black outfit...perhaps a part of his conscience that was against jodha...that was stopping him to believe on her...)

Jalal(mind):- ese mat dekho mujhe jalal...mai bhi tumhare hi jism ka ek hissa hu...wo hissa jis per naaz hai tumhe...jisne bachpan se lekar aaj tak har kadam per tumhari madad ki hai...jiski wajah se tumne ye taj-o-takht...ye saltanat apne naam ki hai...jo dushmao ko tumhare kadmo me jhukne per majboor kar deta hai...mai tumhara dimag hu jalal...wo dimag jiske dushman bhi kayal hai...jisne is pure Hindustan ko apni mutthi me kiya hai...(now he looked at angel jalal)...aur tum iski baate kya sun rahe ho jalal...kya aukat hai iski...ye sirf insaan ko kamzor banana janta hai...mana ke isse pehle jodha begum ko samjhne me galtiya hui hai tumse...magar wo galtiya unjane me hui thi jalal...lekin jodha begum...unhone janbujhker tumhari tauhin ki hai jalal...tumhari mardanagi per sawal uthaya...tumhe niche dikhane ki koshish ki...aaj tak jo bhi kiya unhone tumhare liye...wo mehez ek dikhava tha...fareb tha tumhe apni or khinchne ke liye...tumse badla lene ke liye...vrna tum hi batao...kya zarurat thi unhe wo khat likhne ki...tumhe apne hojre me bulane ki...pehle khud paigam bhejker tumhe apne paas bulaya aur phir...nahi jalal...wo katai maafi ke layak nahi hai...

(Angel jalal tried to argue with him...)

Jalal(heart):- nahi jalal...esa nahi hai...agar unhe badla hi lena hota to isse pehle bhi mauko ki kami nahi thi unke paas...bina sachhai jane un per ilzam lagana thik nahi jalal...unhone humesha tumhara bhala chaha hai...vrna unhe kya zarurat thi tumhari aur ruqqaiya begum ki shadi bachane ki...wo janti thi ki ruqqaiya tumhari zindagi me kitna mayne rakhti hai...unhone har kadam per tumhari madad ki hai jalal...aur tum unhi per shak ker rahe ho...tumne ek baar bhi us paigam ko dobara padhna zaruri nahi samjha...ye bhi to ho sakta hai ke ye mehez ek galatfehmi ho...

Jalal(mind):- (interrupting him in b/w)...tum kehna kya chah rahe ho ke galti jodha begum ki nahi...balki us paigam ko padhne wale ki hai...(now looking at jalal)...mat bhulo jalal...ke wo khat khud badi ammi ne padhker sunaya tha tumhe...jodha begum per yakin karne ka matlab hai badi ammi ki wafadari per shak kerna...tum apni badi ammi per shaq kaise kar sakte ho jalal...jis aurat ne apni puri zindagi mogul saltanat ki khidmat me laga di...unki wafadari ka ye sila doge tum unhe...unki ruswai karke...

Jalal(heart):- magar jalal...jodha begum ki achhai ko bhi to nazarandaaz nahi kiya ja sakta na...wo galat nahi ho sakti jalal...un per shak mat karo...un per bharosa karo...yakin karo un per...

Jalal(mind):- (in a disgusted voice) iski baat per gaur mat karo jalal...ye mehez ek waham hai aur mai hakikat hu...tum iski baat sun rahe ho jiska koi wajud hi nahi hai...

Jalal(heart):-(in a hurt tone..) agar esa hai jalal...agar mera koi wajood hi nahi hai...to kyu mujhe sun paa rahe ho tum...kyu mujhse mukhatib ho...kyu mujhe dekh paa rahe ho...ek arse se viraniyo me gum tha mai...phir koi aaya jisne mujhe tumse rubroo hone per majbur kar diya...tum mano ya na mano jalal...per asliyat to yehi hai...ke kahin na kahin tum jodha begum ko pasand karne lage the...unhe chahne lage the...vrna tum hi batao...unka inkaar itna mayne kyu rakhta hai tumhare liye...kyu us raat ke baad unke khayalo se juda nahi kar paaye tum khud ko...

Jalal(mind):- kyuki tum unhe pana chahte the jalal...unke jism ko hasil karna chahte the...ye chahat sirf unki khubsurati ke liye hai...unke jism ke liye hai...

(jalal was all frustrated...confused...looking at both of them alternatively...finding it hard whom to believe...)

Jalal(heart):- agar ye sirf jism ki chahat hai...to kyu nahi apna bana liya tumne unhe...kyu unki marzi itna mayne rakhti hai tumhare liye jalal...tum chahte to usi raat unhe beaabru karke apni beizzati ka badla le sakte the... magar tumne esa nahi kiya...jante ho kyu...kyuki tum unke bistar per nahi balki unke dil me jagah banana chahte the jalal...tum chahte the ke jodha begum tumse mohabbat kare...tumhe samjhe...aur isiliye unke inkaar se itni chot pahuchi tumhe...

Jalal(mind):- ye befizzul tumhe behkane ki koshish kar raha hai jalal...tum jodha begum se nafrat karte ho...wo muaffi ke layak nahi...

Jalal(heart):- nahi jalal...tumhe manna hi padega ke tumhe jodha begum se mohabbat ho gayi hai...un per bharosa karo jalal...apne rishte ko itni aasani se tutne mat do...

Jalal(mind):- nahi jalal...iski baat mat suno...tum meri baat suno...

Jalal(heart):- meri taraf dekho jalal meri baat suno...

(and they keep on arguing...jalal was getting more and more annoyed and frustrated by each passing argument...he was restless...not getting what to do...finally unable to bear anymore...he shut his ears tightly with both of his hands...and shut his eyes tightly...almost screamed in a loud voice...)

Jalal:- busss...ek aur lafz nahi...chup ho jao tum dono...khuda ke liye akela chor do hume...jao yaha se...chale jao...jaooo....(and with it he took out his khanjar from his pocket and stood up to attack on them...but for his surprise there was no one around...only the sound of wind could be listen...he threw the khanzar away in frustration...)

Jalal:- (more loudly than ever...)...arrrhhh...(he hit the flower pot with his foot really hard...)

(His eyes were blood red in frustration and anger...and his body almost shaking in rage...breathing really hard...)

Jalal:-(his voice almost shaking in temper) ye sab sirf aapki wajah se ho raha hai jodha begum...sirf aapki wajah se...aaj apko jawab dena hi hoga...kyu kiya aapne esa humare sath ...kyu itni taklif pahuchayi hume...kyu...apko jawab dena hoga jodha begum...har kimat per ...dena hi hoga...

(And he made his way towards jodha's room...all frustrated and in rage that was beyond words)

(scene shifts to Benazir...who was in her room...laughing loudly...and telling her maid zakira about how she fooled that bandhi so that she dint take her to hakima sahiba...)

Zakira:- ye to acha hua ke aap sahi waqt per us baandhi ko chakma dekar yaha chali aayi...verna aaj to humara bhanda phut hi jata...agar hakima sahiba aapki jaanch karti... to unhe to fauran malum ho jata ke aap...

Benazir:- (interrupting her in b/w) ke hum wo nahi jo dikhte hai(smirking)...ke hum ek vishkanya hai...ek esi aurat jiski rago me lahu nahi balki zeher daudta hai...hahaha...fikr mat karo zakira...jab tak hum na chahe koi humare bare me kuch nahi jaan sakta...hahahah...

Zakira:- wo to thik hai huzur...lekin aaj to aap kuch zyada hi khush dikhayi de rahi hai...koi khaas wajah??

Benazir:- baat hi esi hai zakira...aaj humne humare raste ke sabse bade kaante ko apni zindagi se humesha humesha ke liye dur kar diya hai...

Zakira:- hum kuch samjhe nahi...kiske bare me baat kar rahi hai aap??

Benazir:- jodha begum...hahahh...hume shenshah se dur karna chahti thi na...bechari...hahah...ab dekho ...khud apni hi zindagi se dur ho jayegi...(she raised her hand...and looked at her nails which had blood marks on them ...all smirking) in hatho ne to apna kammal dikha diya hai...aur ab tak to jodha begum ko bhi iska ehsaas ho hi gaya hoga...

Zakira:- ya khuda...iska matlab aapne unhe...agar wo bach gayi to...kahin shenshah ko pata chal gaya to...

Benazir:- esa kabhi nahi hoga zakira...jab tak shenshah ko pata chalega...bahut der ho chuki hogi...aur tum to janti hi ho... duniya ki kisi dawa me wo takat nahi jo Benazir ke zeher ka ilaj kar sake...kyuki humare zeher ka tod to keval humare paas hai...hahahah...jayiye jodha begum...aapke kanha aapka intezaar kar rahe hai...hum dua karege ke aapki rooh ko jannat nasib ho...hahahh(laughs more loudly than ever...)

(jalal was on his way to jodha's room...all his way everyone greeted him by raising their hands...but he was way too enraged to answer any of their greetings...he reached near her room and got in without any prior announcement...he saw jodha sitting near the window*jharokha*... leaning to the wall behind...gazing outside ...she had still not changed her attire and was in the same white outfit that she wore during the morning fight...it was her back towards him...so he was not able to see her face...only her back was visible to him... ...)

Jalal:- (full on in rage)...to aap yaha baithi hai...humara sukh chain chin kar bahut sukoon mil raha hoga na aapki rooh ko...humari tabahi dekhker kaleje me thandak pad gayi aapke...yehi dekhna chahti thi na aap...aapko koi haq nahi hai hume pal pal tadpaker yu aram se baithne ka...ab kuch bolti kyu nahi...ya humse nazre milane ki bhi himmat nahi bachi aapme...

(jodha dint respond...just sitting still at her position...this made jalal more annoyed...)

Jalal:- apko bahut malal tha na is baat ka...ke humne aapko apni safai dene ka mauka nahi diya...ke humne aapki baat sunne ki koshish nahi ki...to lijiye jodha begum...aaj wo mauka dete hai hum aapko...bataiye hume...pesh kariye apni safai humare samne...bataiye ke kyu ...akhir kyu kar rahi hai aap ye sab...kya mil raha hai aapko hume taklif dekar...humne nahi kaha tha aapse hume koi paigam bhejne ke liye...phir kyu paigam bhejkar hume apne hojre me aane ka nyota bheja...agar humse mohabbat nahi thi to kyu us khat me apni mohabbat ka izhaar kiya aapne...kyu jodha begum...bataiye kyu...

Aapne samajh kya rakha hai hume...pehle khud janbujh ker humari tauhin ki...aur phir sara ilzaam hum per laga diya...ke hum jallad hai...ke hum pather dil hai...ke hum aapko nahi samajh sake...to thik hai jodha begum aap samjhaiye hume...samjhaiye hume ke aakhir aap chahti kya hai...kyu ye do tarfa khel khel rahi hai aap humare sath...kyu jodha begum...jawab dijiye hume...(jodha dint budge just sitting there...jalal's temper was reaching at its peak...he shouted more loudly than ever...).....common damn it!! Answer me...your silence is killing me...plz jodha...answer me!!!!

(and with it his temper reached at its peak...and not able to bear her silence anymore...he headed towards jodha in rage and grabbed her arm...pulled her towards him to make her look in his eyes...but as jalal touched her...she lost the support as she was leaning on the wall...and fell down with a bang...like a lifeless object on the floor...there was not even a single trace of life that could be seen in her...her face was pale...and her body almost still...the wound at her arm was still open and bleeding...her lips turning blue...)

(for a moment...jalal was not able to believe his eyes...he took it as the worst ever nightmare of his life...but no it wasn't like that...he realized it...and fell on his knees beside jodha...as his own body had become too heavy to be stable...)

Jalal: -(with tears in his eyes...shocked...whispered) jodha begum...

thanku friends...😛

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