Part 1:
Ragini lay in bed, her thoughts running a mile a minute. The constant ticking of her bedside clock reminded her of how slowly time was passing.
She'd spoken to Nachiket two hours ago. He'd said he was at work, busy with a patient.
But was he? Said a voice she'd tried hard to suppress in their one year of marriage. Ragini tried to push these thoughts away from her mind. Yet she couldn't.
They'd been married 363 days 5 hours 33 minutes and some few seconds (5 counting this very moment) and yet she could never rid her mind of these thoughts.
It wasn't like she was unaware of his love for her. He loved her. It was in his eyes. And she'd grown to love him and cherish him. She'd grown to love his every touch, melt under his every intense gaze and blush as his stubble grazed against her.
But what if he was touching another woman, gazing into another's eyes and grazing his stubble against another's face?
NO. Screamed the sensible, loving three quarters of Ragini.
Don't be a fool. Quietly said the remaining quarter.
Ragini had always been in conflict with herself. But she'd promised herself she would never let her mistrust get the better. She'd promised herself she would never let her fear, her insecurity cloud the love she held for husband.
And yet she tossed and turned till Nachiket got into bed beside her 2 hours 23 minutes (and 54 seconds) later.
Part 2:
Nachiket sipped on his coffee, taking in the beautiful sight of his wife. He couldn't believe that despite everything they were together, together even after so many years.
He'd met her in the hospital for the first time. And he couldn't put a finger on it, but there was a reason he attracted to his beautiful intern. Perhaps it was the fact that she was unlike the typical women he'd met so far. Perhaps it was because of her strength of character. Perhaps it was because she didn't care too hoots before putting him in his right place.
In the three months that he'd known her, he had begun to feel a deep and unsettling attraction to Ragini Patel. And every time, he'd try to put his feelings in motion, Ragini was quick to rebuke him.
I'll never go out with you, she'd said.
Nachiket smiled at Ragini. That was the only battle Ragini had lost, the battle which counted the most.
He reminisced about their first date. Well, date to him. Ragini was just sitting present out of obligation to him (or his seniority).
Mind if I join you, Ragini?'
Mmm' She absently nodded, unaware that she was agreeing to share the table with a man whose past attempts to woo her, she had squashed.
Coffee?'
Ragini then, looked up. A frown started to form on her pretty face, a look reserved only for him. Dr. Khanna, I should be going..'
Hey, it's alright. I'll leave. You were here first.'
Ragini shifted uneasily. She really did need the coffee. It was a long night in the hospital.
On call,tonight?' Nachiket asked her.
Yes.'
How are the preparations for the exams coming along?'
They're okay, actually. It's hard.'
Medicine is anything but easy.'
No.. I.. It's hard because I am working 24 by 7 to put myself through med school.'
Well, everyone does that.'
She just shook her head, thinking he'd never understand.
What is it?'
Nothing..' She prevaricated.
Ragini, it's that look you get when you don't agree with my approach in the OT. So, what is it?'
I am an only child. My father left a small house for my mother, my grandmother and I. I am the breadwinner, sole. I work two jobs, intern here and then, as a private nurse so that I can make sure we have enough to eat. I work hard so I can put myself through med school and become a doctor. So, that I can fend for my family. I can't do it on a nurse's salary, can I?'
Nachiket took it all in. The fight, the struggle, the strength. This woman continued to amaze him.
I think you're doing just fine. And if it means anything to you, I think you'll be an amazing doctor.'
She smiled at him, a smile that reached her eyes. A smile that had made him start to fall in love with her.
Ragini walked up to him and let herself be pulled onto his lap. He kissed her, first lightly and then with an overpowering force, like that first kiss they'd shared three and a half years ago.
How many lips he must have kissed in the very same fashion? She kissed him back with equal passion, trying to shove that voice somewhere she couldn't hear it.
Part 3:
Nachiket had yet another late night in the hospital. An old patient of his was due for a valve replacement.
He thought about Ragini alone at home. Well not really alone, she had their unborn child keeping her company.
He smiled thinking back to the day she'd announced her pregnancy.
Sir, you have one more appointment for the day.'
Nachiket groaned and said to the nurse, I though Mr. Raheja was the last patient of the day. Can this not wait? I have personal commitments.' He did not want to bail on his wife yet again.
Sir, I'm afraid it's important.'
Alright, send the patient in.'
A couple minutes later, Ragini walked in, wearing the green churidar she so loved.
Ragini, I'm so sorry. There's one more patient. I ..' He hesitated. He was not one to make false promises. I .. hope it won't be long.' He finally settled on.
Dr. Nachiket Khanna, I am your last patient.' She smiled that dazzling smile.
Oh God. His wife was gorgeous.
So, what is your ailment, Mrs. Khanna?'
Oh, well, I have the urge to pee a lot.'
You do?' He said, mock-taking notes.
Yes. And I seem to vomit a lot too.'
Ah.' He looked up, concerned.
Typically, in the mornings, she continued.
Ragini, are you alright?'
I went to see the doctor, Nachiket.' She looked at him earnestly.
And..?' Nachiket had a weird sense of foreboding.
He attributed it to the fact that I have two hearts beating within me.'
His brow furrowed and within a split second cleared.
Are you saying what I think you are?'
And what is it that you think?' It reached her eyes, that smile of hers.
That you're going to be a gorgeous Mom.'
And you, a handsome Dad.'
He leapt across the table and took her into his arms. If he'd ever thought he couldn't love her more, he had been proven wrong.
After about two hours in the OT, he returned to his office. He had a text message from Ragini.
Baby and me, off to sleep. See you in the morn, hon. :)
It had been two months since they'd shared the happy news in this very office, a year and a half they'd been married.
But in these two months, he'd felt a change in Ragini. Her frequent calls had reduced. Her consistent inquiries about his whereabouts had diminished.
It was almost as if the baby had strengthened the bond they'd shared. Almost as if the presence of the baby had assured Ragini that Nachiket was here to stay. That he was all in.
Part 4:
Aww, he is just so adorable.' Ragini looked proudly as Nachiket's sister lay kisses on her newborn.
Wonder of wonders. Pam actually appreciates something that was a big part of her. Ragini smirked. How times had changed.
Ragini attended to the guests while Nachiket fussed over his son. Ever since he'd been born, Nachiket could not take his eyes off of him.
Raginiii!!' Dimpy squealed and hugged her.
Second only to Nachiket and her, Dimpy and Karan were most enthused by the newborn's arrival. She smiled at Nachiket's oldest friends, friends who'd become her own family if she might confess.
There had been outings and dinners and many such things that came as part of Nachiket's lifestyle. And Ragini knew such things would come with his set of friends. When they'd started dating, she was apprehensive, apprehensive of how they might perceive her.
But Karan and Dimpy had been welcoming.
She remembered the first time she'd met the recently married Karan-Dimpy. It was almost three months since she'd officially begun dating Nachiket. It was a quiet dinner with the best chinese on offer and lots of conversation. Everytime an awkward silence threatened to engulf the table, Dimpy smoothly introduced a new topic. By the end of the dinner, Ragini had started to feel comfortable with the two of them. She'd heard Karan tell Nachiket She's here to stay' and smiled to herself.
They'd been through so much together. Nachiket and her courtship. Nachiket and her wedding. (Oh, the crazy bridal shower Dimpy had thrown her!) Their pregnancy. Karan and Dimpy's news.
You look beautiful, Ragini.'
Thanks, Dimpy.' Ragini had just begun to sport a baby bump.
She felt Dimpy's gaze fixated on her belly.
Dimps?' Ragini looked at her friends eyes tear up.
Hey, what is it? What's the matter?'
Nothing, nothing.' Dimpy tried to avert her gaze from Ragini's.
Dimpy.' Ragini said gently, You can talk to me.'
With no warning, Dimpy collapsed into tears.
Are you having problems with Karan?' Ragini was immediately concerned.
No.. No..'
Then?' Ragini wiped away her tears.
I.. We.. We've been trying to have a baby.. for the past five months.'
Oh' Ragini looked perplexed. Do you not want to..?' Ragini trailed off. Of course, Dimpy wanted a baby, she'd practically jumped when she'd announced her pregnancy.
It's.. It isn't working, Ragini.' Dimpy said sadly. 'I've tried hormone shots, everything.. I.. It isn't happening.'
Dimpy..' Ragini said carefully, It will happen when it has to. Just..'
You don't understand Ragini. Karan went in for a test and his reports came in clear. It isn't him. It's me. And I am too scared to go and get myself checked. Because if I go, I'll know.. for sure that it's my fault. And I can't live with that. Knowing I am the reason for Karan not becoming a father.'
Oh, sweetheart.' Ragini's eyes had moistened too, hearing her friend's plight.
They'd both cried that night. And the next day, Ragini had accompanied Dimpy on her appointment.
The guests all looked up at Nachiket and Ragini, awaiting to hear the big announcement.
Nachiket and I have decided something. And unfortunately it's not our baby's name. We've decided who the baby's God-Parents will be and they'll name our child.'
Ragini paused, scanned the crowd for her family and once she'd found them, looked at them intently.
Dimpy-Karan, come up here.'
Nachiket smiled at his wife proudly. He knew he'd picked the right girl.
Part 5:
Nachiket ushered in the birthday cake, his eyes taken up with the vision of the beauty in pink.
A year into dating Ragini, Nahciket knew that this thing he shared with her was the real deal. He'd dated a few women before Ragini. Nothing serious because he couldn't see himself commit to someone for the rest of his life. But with Ragini, it was smooth, a relationship that flowed freely.
Nachiket.' She was pissed.
I'm so sorry, Ragini. I was held at work.'
You do realize that I work at the same place as you, don't you?'
Hey, I had a consult.. last minute.'
With Dr. Umaira?'
Trapped.
Yes.' He tread lightly. She had a..'
Please, Nachiket. Don't even try.' She cut him off.
Ragini, it was a consult.' Nachiket emphasized.
A consult in which she had to throw herself on you?'
She tripped.'
How convenient that you were there to save her.'
Nachiket started to lose his cool a little. Why couldn't she just trust him? Was his love, his commitment to her not enough proof of his dedication to her? It was always the same, Dr. Umaira today, Janki the next. Ragini just couldn't take his word ever.
Across the table, Ragini sat with a stern expression on her face. She wished he would say something. She wished he would explain. She wished he would tell her she had nothing to worry. She wished he comforted her with his words and just his actions. But he never did. No matter how much she urged him. It was like he was always above any explanation.
What do you want to eat?' Nachiket coolly brushed over their argument.
Ragini focused her gaze on the menu, wishing they would talk.
Hey, my baby girl, Happy Birthday!' Nachiket enveloped their one year old, Neeshi in a bear hug.
Madam, there is a call for saab.' The help announced.
Ragini, just take a message.' Nachiket said, not stealing even a momentary glance from his daughter.
Ragini walked into the study and clicked the cordless on.
Hello. Ragini here. Who's calling?'
Ragini.' That voice. It was her. Rupali.
Part 6:
Rupali?' Ragini's voice shook.
Can I talk to Nachiket?' She spoke, her air of a few years ago still not diminished.
Ragini quietly sent for the help and got Nachiket on the line.
Hello? Nachiket here..'
Ragini slowly walked away.
She realized in their six and a half years together, three while dating and the rest while they were married, something had changed.
She remembered that first summer she'd encountered the hurricane that was Rupali.
Ragini beta, have some more bhatooras.' Nachiket's father cajoled her.
No uncle, I'm full.' They were well past the meet-the-parents stage. Nachiket had introduced Ragini to his father two months ago and needless to say they'd got along like a house on fire, mostly bonding over Nachiket and his many shortcomings.
She'd wowed his father and he had cast a spell on her mother and grandmother.
Papaa.' Her attention immediately focused on the shrill voice.
Pam was back for her summer holidays. And she'd brought with her a friend.
Ragini had to hand it to her, the girl was pretty, in a very obvious way.
She turned around to steal a glance at Nachiket. She found him staring, intently at her. His attention was focused on Ragini and Ragini alone. A content smile spread on her face.
Pam hugged her father and brother, gave Ragini a curt nod and quickly turned to her friend.
Nachiket, Dad, this is my friend from college, Rupali.'
Hello!' She shook hands with both the men, Ragini was quick to notice her hand lingered on Nachiket's for a moment longer than it was deemed necessary.
Hi!' Rupali turned straight towards Ragini. Pam, introduce us!'
She is Ragini. My brother's..' Pam hesitated. intern.' She finally settled.
Ragini felt a little pain in her chest. She could never be good enough for Pam. How could Ragini assure Pam she was with her brother for only Nachiket and none of his material possessions.
Ragini focused on the conversation at the table.
'I find doctors really sexy.' Rupali was saying.
Ragini just stared, horrified.
Nachiket smiled. That's the thing about Nachiket. He loves the attention, irrespective of who showers it.
Over the next few days, Ragini's visits to the Khanna household increased. She tried to be around Nachiket as much as possible. She realised Rupali too had the same intention.
God. Wasn't this nineteen year Pam's friend? Why did she have to swoon over her twenty-foour year old brother's every move?
Ragini was just counting days till this Rupali would leave. Even if this was harmless flirting, it got on Ragini's nerves.
The last day of Rupali's stay was eventful. She walked into Nachiket's study and gave him a peck on the cheek and hugged him, a hug that definitely crossed the boundaries that a friend should have with her friends brother.
Once Rupali left the room, Ragini turned to Nachiket. 'What was that?'
'Nothing.' Nachiket replied nonchalantly, but the blush on his face gave it away.
It was something.
Nachiket looked away from Ragini that instant, embarrassed with the way Rupali had behaved. But did Ragini have to give him that rebuking look?
Rupali had been a part of their lives for a month and a half, but the repercussions were there for Ragini to suffer through. The faith she'd established on Nachiket was shaken and it would take long to rebuild.
But today was different. It had been four years since that summer. Ragini had changed and so had Nachiket. Today, she had no qualms leaving Nachiket alone.
Part 7:
Ragini put the two kids to bed and decided to make some coffee for herself.
A cup of coffee and her copy of Love Story in hand, she comfortably settled onto the couch in their room.
A little after two, she stirred, realizing she'd drooled all over the pillow. She turned to look at the bed. Nachiket hadn't made it back in.
She adjusted her specs and got up in a bid to find him.
Nachiket', she called out quietly.
The light in his study was still on.
Ragini..' He was clearly startled. Didn't you sleep?'
I did. Just came looking for you.'
He lightly brushed his lips against hers. She settled in next to him.
He had been looking at some scans on the computer.
A case?' She gently prodded. She was accustomed to her husband spending many sleepless nights over cases.
Yeah..' He nodded absently.
Are you stuck?'
No.. I just got this case today.. It's Rupali's.'
Oh.' Despite everything they'd been through in the past, Ragini felt queasy. She'd had her concerns over Rupali but certainly, not so big that she would wish her harm. Is she going to be alright?'
I really don't know. She should have told me about this months back.'
Months back?'
Yeah.' Nachiket stared ahead at the scans.
You've been in touch with her?' Her heart had quickened its pace.
A few seconds later, he turned to look at her.
I have. Is it an issue?' Even though he had posed it as a question, Ragini could sense the undertone.
Why?'
What do you mean why?'
Why the hell have you been in touch with her?'
Stop being so freaking jealous.'
Nachiket. I am anything but jealous. You have far too many female friends, yet I don't question any of them. But her? I know when I should be concerned.'
You shouldn't be concerned.' He shut her off.
Are you even hearing yourself? She's the reason we almost broke up. And you've been talking to her all this time? Behind my back?'
His face was contorted with rage. I don't owe you explanations for any damn thing. Who I choose to be friends with is none of your damn concern.'
I am your wife.'
May be you shouldn't be.' Ragini recoiled at his statement.
Nachiket too recoiled at the harsh words he'd just spat at her. He had had no idea why he'd said it. He had no idea why she couldn't trust him.
Ragini wept in her bed, thinking to herself she'd changed, been more understanding, been less insecure. Why couldn't he extend her the same understanding?
Four days later, Nachiket was on a plane to New York and Ragini was taking a pregnancy test.
